WEBVTT

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[film projector whirring]

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[bell tolling]

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[faint classical music]

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[music grows louder]

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[music continues]

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[Joy takes deep breath]

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[exhales]

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[♪♪♪]

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[♪♪♪]

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[machines whirring]

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[♪♪♪]

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[♪♪♪]

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[woman singing faintly]

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My parents really
raised me to...

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to just try
as hard as I can.

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When you put that
in front of yourself,

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like, \"I don\'t want to bennormal. I want to be special.\"

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You have to work
to get to that level.

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A lot of people
here in Moscow,

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they sometimes...n\"Oh, well, I can\'t do anything

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because the system is broken
anyway, so why try?\"

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And I think that
it\'s worth a try,

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even if the system
is broken,

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because if you\'re really
a person that believes that you can do it
and that you--

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When you can work hard for it,
then it will happen.

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Because that is the way
the world works,

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even if it is broken,
even if the system is wrong.

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If you\'re good, if you believe,
if you work hard, honest.

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Not, \"Oh, I\'m working hard
because I\'m there. I show up.\"

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But if you really work,

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then--then it--
then it will happen.

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it will go the way that
you want it to, but there--

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It\'s a really small
amount of people

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that actually really

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honestly,
you know... work.

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If I say I\'m gonna do something,
you know, I\'m going to do it.

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I remember pulling up
to the school,

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and it was this really
cold January day.

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And the school, um,
you kind of hear about,

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\"Oh, this is
the Bolshoi Ballet Academy.

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This must be amazing.

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Then you pull up to thisnschool, and it\'s this horrible,

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old, you know, um,
Soviet building

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that\'s sort of crumbling.

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It\'s got graffiti on it.

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The paint is peeling
off the walls.

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The doors are, you know,
creaking as they open.

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It smells like,
you know, dust inside.

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Um, and, but then you go
into these old studios,

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and you see
these amazing dancers.

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And, um, they\'re just,
you know...

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They\'re sort of defying
gravity with their jumps,

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and their just
beautiful lines and precise.

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And you realize
that this building,

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this, you know, horrible,
run-down, old Soviet building

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has produced some of the world\'s
greatest ballerinas.

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Joy has had a really
interesting childhood,

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a really unusual
childhood.

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I think she describes
her childhood as being
a really happy one,

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with, um, you know, growing upnin California and in Texas

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with a big family
with lots of kids always
in and out of the house,

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with lots of guests
and friends coming over.

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She, um, really loved,
um, ballet,

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and sports in general,
from a young age.

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I think she might have had
kind of a short childhood

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because of her really strong
desire to pursue her dream,

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and her parents
really encouraging her
to pursue her dream.

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Um, I think, especially,
her dad has really, I think,

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tried to encourage his kids
to pursue their dreams.

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Joy talks about her dad
as a dreamer.

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Um, somebody that go for
really difficult goals.

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You know, she moved away
from them at a young age,

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and I think she
kind of grew up, um,

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and became quite mature
at a young age.

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She moved to Russia
when she was 15.

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She wanted
to get into the Bolshoi.

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I think she wanted
to dance there,

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and to become
a ballerina there,

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to dance there,
to dance the parts there,

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and even to become a principalnsomeday at the Bolshoi.

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Um, so I think
she had that dream

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from even when she first
came to Russia.

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It was crazy,
because no one had done it.

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[♪♪♪]

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[speaking Russian]

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[♪♪♪]

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JOY: I wanted
to dance in Russia.

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I wanted to dance
at the Bolshoi, so...

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And I knew that
if I would keep going,

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um, if I did well
the next year,

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then I might
have a chance.

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Because I was already
one of the top students

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at that time, um,
in my course.

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MAN: [speaking Russian]

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[♪♪♪]

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JOY: I had some competition,
but I--I was--

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There was Nastia in my class,
who was very, very good.

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She was, you know--

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If I wasn\'t going to becomenbetter or thinner than Nastia,
then, uh, Nastia would
take my spot at the Bolshoi.

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[♪♪♪]

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ELIZABETH:She also liked
the interactions she had
with her Russian teachers.

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That they were very--
They were very demanding.

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The sort of brutal honesty

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that, um, Russian teachers
quite often had.

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She wanted to hear
exactly what someone thought,

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and without any sort of
sugar-coating.

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Her teachers saw, um,
a lot of potential in her,

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and demanded a lot from her.

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And so, it was really difficultnto rise on those occasions,

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and to rise
to their expectations.

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Um, as a perfectionist,

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she can\'t always be perfect.

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She\'s human, and, um...

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So, I think that was
a lot of pressure on her.

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And she ended up,
you know, performing,

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uh, with injuries
quite a few times.

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And, um, her Russian teachers

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encouraged her
to try her hardest.

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Of course, if it got
too dangerous,
they would, you know,

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make sure that she had
the medical care
that she needed,

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but, um, she did,
nonetheless,

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perform a few times
with various fractures,

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or, you know, broken bones,

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or, you know,
just different injuries.

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JOY: In preparation
for the Bolshoi Gala,

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we were dancing
every single day.

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And we had run-throughs
almost every day.

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My foot really
started to hurt,

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but I knew
that if I gave up,

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somebody would just
take my spot.

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And I couldn\'t do that, notnafter all the work I had done.

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[♪♪♪]

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JOY: But by the day
of the performance,

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my foot had gotten
really bad.

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There was no person
who could stand in for me.

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And so, my teacher said,
\"You have to dance.\"

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And we looked for a solution.

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We asked the doctors
and the nurses,

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and what they was they
basically just froze my foot,

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and made it cold, so that
I wouldn\'t feel the pain.

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When I got on stage,
I danced, I smiled,

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but when I came off stage,
I was in tears,

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because it would
hurt so much.

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And then I\'d come back
from the wings,

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smile and continue.

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I was doing an arabesque,

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and I was rolling
through my foot, and my--

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I had the worst pain
in my entire life.

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My foot just felt
like it had broken in two.

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And I was rushed
to the doctors.

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And they said, \"You need to
have surgery on your foot.

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It\'s broken.\"

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Through that process,
I was trying to get in touch
with my parents.nI was calling them and they...

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took that moment to tell me

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that we had no money,
that they had gone broke.

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And there was no way
that I could afford
the surgery I needed.

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And there was no way
I could stay in Moscow
and continue my studies.

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Because, even if we did find
the money for the surgery,

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there wasn\'t money to pay for
the semester of school.

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I was just absolutely
desperate.

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Completely
and utterly desperate.

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I went to the church
the next day,

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and I explained my situations
to some friends.

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We prayed, and...
I didn\'t know what to do.

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And then, all of a sudden,
somebody offered
to give me the money.

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And three days later, I wasngetting the operation I needed.

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[♪♪♪]

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[heavy breathing]

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[music plays on computer]

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[♪♪♪]

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JOY: You never know what
a place is going to be like

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until you experience it.

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[♪♪♪]

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[speaking in Russian]

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JOY: Here, you have
to have feet,
you have to have the legs,

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you have to have the weight,
you have to have the--

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You have to be beautiful,
and then they look,
\"Okay, what else can you do?\"

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Like, in America,
it doesn\'t matter really.

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You know, if you\'re a hardnworker you can make it happen,

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but here it\'s like
if you do not have,

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you know, the aesthetic,
forget about it.

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Just don\'t even try it.

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JOY: I was really excited
for the first day of school.

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Everyone is divided up
in the auditorium by classes.

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And I had made the mistake
of going into my parallels class
and sitting there.

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And the girls,
you know, telling,
\"Oh, these are our boys.\"

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And I remember seeing Nikita,
and I was like,

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\"You know, wow,
here in Russia,

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the guys are really
good-looking\", you know--

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[TV on in background]

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I was interested in becoming
the best I could be
at this school.

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Like, then when you
asked me out, I was like,

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\"Oh, well, I don\'t do that.
I don\'t go out with boys.\"

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[music playing in background]

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[inaudible chatter]

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They knew each other,
but they weren\'t--they weren\'t
very close friends.

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I don\'t think they ran
in the same circle of friends,
um, in school.

00:15:31.166 --> 00:15:34.375
Um, Joy had been told that
in order to stay in Russia,

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in order to, um...

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work at the Bolshoi,
which was her dream,

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she needed to get some sort of
Russian residency permit,

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permission to stay in Russia.

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And in order to do that,
the only way to really do that,

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she had been told, was
to get married to a Russian.

00:15:51.792 --> 00:15:54.959
And she\'d been told that for
quite a while by her teachers,

00:15:54.959 --> 00:15:58.542
by friends, um,
and so she really thought,

00:15:58.542 --> 00:16:01.917
\"Well, if I wanna
stay in Russia,

00:16:01.917 --> 00:16:04.000
if I wanna work at the Bolshoi,
I need to get married.\"

00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:06.709
And so, when graduation came,

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um, she still really wanted
to go to the Bolshoi,

00:16:08.458 --> 00:16:11.166
and she started
thinking about that a lot.

00:16:11.166 --> 00:16:13.667
\"You know, maybe I should
get married.\"

00:16:13.667 --> 00:16:15.166
JOY: The way that we sort of
became together,

00:16:15.166 --> 00:16:17.667
was really, you know...

00:16:17.667 --> 00:16:20.000
It\'s a crazy story, and I can\'t
believe that it happened,

00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:22.917
um, but I\'ve--

00:16:22.917 --> 00:16:24.333
You know, the morning that
I was, you know,

00:16:24.333 --> 00:16:27.208
we\'re were going
to get married,

00:16:27.208 --> 00:16:29.083
you know, I had a talk
with myself. I said,

00:16:29.083 --> 00:16:31.250
\"Joy, you can either,
you know, consider it a joke

00:16:31.250 --> 00:16:35.208
or, you know, just a way
to get what you need.

00:16:35.208 --> 00:16:37.959
Or you can really, you know,
commit to it.\"

00:16:37.959 --> 00:16:40.875
Um, and I remember praying
and saying, you know,

00:16:40.875 --> 00:16:43.792
\"Lord, you have a plan.

00:16:43.792 --> 00:16:45.333
Like, you are bringing me
this person,

00:16:45.333 --> 00:16:48.583
nand I pray that you, you know,

00:16:48.583 --> 00:16:50.542
like, that you\'ll help mento love him as much as I can.\"

00:16:50.542 --> 00:16:53.834
Nikita,
he saved me sort of.

00:16:54.875 --> 00:16:56.875
I am sort of a person
that\'s all or nothing.

00:16:56.875 --> 00:16:59.834
I became that way
when I came to Russia,

00:16:59.834 --> 00:17:02.417
and there were
a lot of things

00:17:02.417 --> 00:17:04.583
that I was sort of, you know,
on the, like, you know--

00:17:04.583 --> 00:17:09.041
\"I don\'t care if I die\"
sort of thing.

00:17:09.041 --> 00:17:10.917
I just want to become someone,

00:17:10.917 --> 00:17:12.834
you know,
not necessarily famous,

00:17:12.834 --> 00:17:14.667
but, you know,
someone that people know.

00:17:14.667 --> 00:17:16.959
And Nikita\'s like, \"You know,
Joy, you need to love yourself.

00:17:16.959 --> 00:17:21.083
You need to love--\" You know,
because I was sort of like,

00:17:21.083 --> 00:17:23.583
\"I\'m, you know, I\'m ugly.

00:17:23.583 --> 00:17:25.500
-NIKITA:
-I\'m fat.

00:17:25.500 --> 00:17:27.667
I\'m terrible.\"

00:17:27.667 --> 00:17:31.125
And he, for the first time, you
know, after we were together,

00:17:31.125 --> 00:17:32.750
You know, I remember for the
first time looking in the mirror

00:17:36.250 --> 00:17:38.834
and saying, like,
\"I\'m beautiful.\"

00:17:38.834 --> 00:17:40.792
I had never been able
to say that before, like,

00:17:40.792 --> 00:17:43.750
you know, I-- you know, I--
\"I can do something.\"

00:17:43.750 --> 00:17:46.834
You know, like,
\"I\'m successful.\"

00:17:46.834 --> 00:17:49.333
Like-- And--and, you know,

00:17:49.333 --> 00:17:52.083
the way the sort of loved me
made me feel like

00:17:52.083 --> 00:17:56.000
that I was someone special,

00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.750
and that I was beautiful,

00:17:57.750 --> 00:17:59.375
and, you know, that I do
have something special.

00:17:59.375 --> 00:18:02.417
So, hopefully,
you know, we can...

00:18:02.417 --> 00:18:04.375
you know, continue to--
to do something.

00:18:05.250 --> 00:18:07.834
You know, to become better.

00:18:07.834 --> 00:18:09.959
[♪♪♪]

00:18:14.250 --> 00:18:18.542
NIKITA: [in Russian]

00:19:08.834 --> 00:19:13.875
ELIZABETH: And so,nI know that they started dating

00:19:13.875 --> 00:19:16.083
nI think in the spring of 2012.

00:19:16.083 --> 00:19:18.500
And got married,
obviously, very quickly,

00:19:18.500 --> 00:19:20.667
num, also in the spring of 2012.

00:19:20.667 --> 00:19:23.125
NIKITA:

00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:39.500
[piano plays classical music]

00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:42.083
MASHA:At the Moscow
Academy of Ballet,

00:19:43.375 --> 00:19:45.667
or the Ballet Academy
in Mariinsky,

00:19:45.667 --> 00:19:50.125
or anywhere, usually
those two, um, academies,

00:19:50.125 --> 00:19:54.250
the--the directors,nthey go and watch the students

00:19:54.250 --> 00:19:58.000
of the graduating class.

00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:00.583
And then they see them, andnthen they can just accept them,

00:20:00.583 --> 00:20:03.583
uh, to the Bolshoi.

00:20:03.583 --> 00:20:05.375
[piano plays classical music]

00:20:05.375 --> 00:20:07.291
JOY: Filin and Petrov,
the director,

00:20:09.625 --> 00:20:12.583
were on the committee
of our class exam.

00:20:12.583 --> 00:20:15.500
We didn\'t know until
after the class exam,

00:20:15.500 --> 00:20:18.959
and what the results
would be.

00:20:18.959 --> 00:20:20.500
And then we sat in the corridornand we waited.

00:20:23.333 --> 00:20:26.250
[indistinct chatter]

00:20:26.250 --> 00:20:29.542
And he awarded myself
and another girl five-plus.

00:20:29.542 --> 00:20:33.250
Which is like at the height--

00:20:33.250 --> 00:20:34.750
You don\'t get
five-plusses, like...

00:20:34.750 --> 00:20:37.458
And I remember
we got the grades back,

00:20:37.458 --> 00:20:40.542
and I thought,
\"I\'m going to Bolshoi.\"

00:20:40.542 --> 00:20:43.166
[♪♪♪]

00:20:46.083 --> 00:20:51.125
MASHA:Sergei Filin,
the director at that time,

00:20:51.125 --> 00:20:54.875
of the Bolshoi Theatre,

00:20:54.875 --> 00:20:56.917
came and watched,
uh, her exams.

00:20:56.917 --> 00:20:59.625
And he took
a couple of people

00:20:59.625 --> 00:21:01.959
from her class,
including herself.

00:21:01.959 --> 00:21:04.291
Just a couple of people.

00:21:04.291 --> 00:21:05.667
It was definitely
her dream come true,

00:21:05.667 --> 00:21:07.667
to be in the Bolshoi Theatre.

00:21:07.667 --> 00:21:09.750
[♪♪♪]

00:21:28.166 --> 00:21:32.333
[♪♪♪]

00:21:34.041 --> 00:21:34.500
[♪♪♪]

00:21:43.083 --> 00:21:47.250
[♪♪♪]

00:22:22.166 --> 00:22:26.166
NIKITA:

00:23:05.875 --> 00:23:10.041
[♪♪♪]

00:24:34.792 --> 00:24:38.917
[music ends]

00:24:39.250 --> 00:24:41.000
[indistinct chatter]

00:24:43.542 --> 00:24:45.333
NIKITA:

00:25:03.917 --> 00:25:08.166
JOY: [in Russian]

00:25:08.583 --> 00:25:12.583
NIKITA:

00:25:12.583 --> 00:25:13.792
JOY:

00:25:13.792 --> 00:25:18.041
-NIKITA:
-JOY:

00:25:24.417 --> 00:25:28.375
JOY:

00:25:28.375 --> 00:25:30.875
NIKITA:

00:26:20.583 --> 00:26:24.583
Um...

00:26:24.583 --> 00:26:26.041
I had put myself
through such hell,

00:26:26.041 --> 00:26:29.458
like, psychologically,
during the last year of school.

00:26:29.458 --> 00:26:32.500
I mean, it was a rat race
to get to that...

00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:37.375
you know, like, Bolshoi,
you know.

00:26:38.083 --> 00:26:40.709
Um, I was so bulimic
and so anorexic,

00:26:40.709 --> 00:26:45.208
and so, um, unsure
of who I was.

00:26:45.875 --> 00:26:49.333
I mean, and the only thing
that would make me feel good

00:26:51.041 --> 00:26:53.750
or whole or--or even forget
about that pain for a second,

00:26:53.750 --> 00:26:57.583
was--was Nikita\'s love.

00:26:58.000 --> 00:26:59.125
[indistinct chatter]

00:27:03.375 --> 00:27:05.291
[in Russian]

00:27:45.917 --> 00:27:50.083
[♪♪♪]

00:28:44.083 --> 00:28:49.041
Um, but when she actually
started working there,

00:28:49.041 --> 00:28:51.750
um, she really wasn\'t
offered the roles that
she\'d been promised.

00:28:51.750 --> 00:28:55.500
And, for her, I think it was
incredibly frustrating.

00:28:55.500 --> 00:28:58.625
That\'s been true for
just about every new dancer

00:28:58.625 --> 00:29:00.834
that\'s come to
the Bolshoi, that--

00:29:00.834 --> 00:29:02.500
They come full of enthusiasm

00:29:02.500 --> 00:29:04.208
and very excited
and wanting to do everything.

00:29:04.208 --> 00:29:06.291
But, the truth is that

00:29:06.291 --> 00:29:08.542
there\'s a lot of really
good dancers there,

00:29:08.542 --> 00:29:10.417
and, um...

00:29:10.417 --> 00:29:12.291
Um, the sort of
tradition at the Bolshoi

00:29:12.917 --> 00:29:14.875
is to make everyone start at
the very beginning in the corps,

00:29:14.875 --> 00:29:18.417
dancing very basic parts,

00:29:18.417 --> 00:29:20.875
fitting in with everyone.

00:29:20.875 --> 00:29:22.500
And sort of, um, you know,
kind of an older,

00:29:22.500 --> 00:29:25.458
kind of person pushing down.

00:29:25.458 --> 00:29:27.917
A kind of, you know,
\"hold your horses.\"

00:29:27.917 --> 00:29:29.792
You know, \"Take your time.
All in good time.

00:29:29.792 --> 00:29:32.208
Slow down.\"

00:29:32.208 --> 00:29:33.792
Um, and so I think that
was frustrating for Joy,

00:29:33.792 --> 00:29:35.917
and it\'s frustrating
for a lot of people that
start at the Bolshoi.

00:29:35.917 --> 00:29:39.625
And sort of, you know,
theaters in general,

00:29:39.625 --> 00:29:42.458
that, um, you know, they\'re
just told to kind of wait.

00:29:42.458 --> 00:29:46.458
Wait, wait, you know.
\"Your time will come. Wait.\"

00:29:46.458 --> 00:29:49.875
So that was really
frustrating for her and she--

00:29:49.875 --> 00:29:52.834
I know that she was
trying to, um, you know,
find out \"Why is that?

00:29:52.834 --> 00:29:56.291
What\'s going on? Why--

00:29:56.291 --> 00:29:58.083
Maybe I\'m not a good dancer.

00:29:58.083 --> 00:29:59.375
Maybe... maybe
I need to improve.\"

00:29:59.375 --> 00:30:01.625
Um, maybe, uh, you know,

00:30:01.625 --> 00:30:04.291
\"Maybe I\'m not with
the right teacher. Maybe...\"

00:30:04.291 --> 00:30:06.750
You know, she\'s trying to
figure out \"Why is that
I\'m not getting the roles

00:30:06.750 --> 00:30:09.834
that I was told
I would be able to dance?\"

00:30:18.417 --> 00:30:22.750
[musical alarm plays]

00:31:23.542 --> 00:31:28.875
JOY:At the end, I said,
\"Please, just come
and watch a class.

00:31:28.875 --> 00:31:31.417
Come and watch a rehearsal
and see my attitude.

00:31:31.417 --> 00:31:33.375
See that I\'m ready to work.

00:31:33.375 --> 00:31:35.041
That I have
the capabilities and--\"

00:31:35.041 --> 00:31:37.333
\"No, Joy, we know.

00:31:37.333 --> 00:31:40.959
We know that
you\'re very talented
and that you\'re very good and that you work very hard.\"

00:31:40.959 --> 00:31:42.667
And \"Well, then,
what\'s the problem?\"

00:31:42.667 --> 00:31:44.667
\"Oh, well, this
and that and this.

00:31:44.667 --> 00:31:46.834
I have to ask this person.\"

00:31:46.834 --> 00:31:48.166
And just all this blame
sort of shifting.

00:31:48.166 --> 00:31:50.792
ELIZABETH: And eventually,
someone told her, um,

00:31:52.417 --> 00:31:54.750
someone that worked
at the theater that
wasn\'t a fellow dancer,

00:31:54.750 --> 00:31:58.375
you know, \"Joy,
you know what\'s going on.\"

00:31:58.375 --> 00:32:00.333
You know, \"You need to be
a bit more [speaks Russian].

00:32:00.333 --> 00:32:02.125
You need to be a bit
more sneaky or clever

00:32:02.125 --> 00:32:04.709
about the way
that you work here.\"

00:32:04.709 --> 00:32:06.917
And so, um-- And she didn\'t
really know what that meant.

00:32:06.917 --> 00:32:10.166
Does that mean, you know,
that I--

00:32:10.166 --> 00:32:12.750
You know, what does it mean to
be smarter about dancing?

00:32:12.750 --> 00:32:15.208
And, from what I understand,
she was actually told,

00:32:15.208 --> 00:32:18.875
you know, for a soloist role,
you need to pay $10,000.

00:32:18.875 --> 00:32:23.625
Um, and so, that was very
eye-opening for her.

00:32:23.625 --> 00:32:27.333
Um... and very
frustrating for her.

00:32:27.333 --> 00:32:30.041
Um, and she, you know,

00:32:30.041 --> 00:32:31.750
she\'d made the decision long ago

00:32:31.750 --> 00:32:33.166
that she wasn\'t
going to pay for roles.

00:32:33.166 --> 00:32:35.291
[♪♪♪]

00:32:54.041 --> 00:32:58.208
[wind howling]

00:33:06.959 --> 00:33:11.750
JOY: The reality is
a lot of times

00:33:11.750 --> 00:33:15.083
the greed is bigger
than anyone\'s ideals.

00:33:15.250 --> 00:33:18.458
And that is sad.

00:33:19.500 --> 00:33:21.875
[♪♪♪]

00:33:30.583 --> 00:33:35.500
JOY: Unfortunately,
as much as I may want

00:33:35.500 --> 00:33:38.083
or desire in the future,

00:33:38.083 --> 00:33:39.709
nthe consequences of my actions

00:33:39.709 --> 00:33:42.625
and the consequencesnof all of the media attention,

00:33:42.625 --> 00:33:46.000
um, and the scandal that
happened with Bolshoi, uh,

00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:49.709
burned bridges,
unfortunately.

00:33:49.709 --> 00:33:52.208
That is the tragedy.

00:33:52.208 --> 00:33:54.250
[♪♪♪]

00:34:40.041 --> 00:34:45.375
JOY:My self-confidence
was just, like,
shattered into pieces.

00:34:45.375 --> 00:34:49.417
I didn\'t want this
to get out.

00:34:49.417 --> 00:34:51.834
I didn\'t want...

00:34:51.834 --> 00:34:53.959
I didn\'t want to be known fornsaying that stuff about people.

00:34:53.959 --> 00:34:56.959
You know, it wasn\'t really
my choice.

00:34:58.375 --> 00:34:59.875
[♪♪♪]

00:36:16.792 --> 00:36:20.792
WOMAN:

00:36:51.792 --> 00:36:55.959
[♪♪♪]

00:37:03.417 --> 00:37:08.083
I my, you know,
19-year-old brain,

00:37:08.083 --> 00:37:11.333
I was like,
\"There\'s no way in hell I could
go back to the Bolshoi now.\"

00:37:12.208 --> 00:37:16.208
NIKITA:

00:38:02.500 --> 00:38:06.792
[lively music plays]

00:38:20.500 --> 00:38:24.750
[music continues]

00:38:24.750 --> 00:38:27.250
JOY: My experience
and my time with the Bolshoi

00:38:27.250 --> 00:38:30.500
is definitely a highlight.

00:38:30.500 --> 00:38:33.083
And it\'s definitely
an experience

00:38:34.250 --> 00:38:36.000
that I\'ll never forget,
and I\'m so grateful for it.

00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:38.792
And I\'m so happy to say that,
\"Yes, I danced there.

00:38:38.792 --> 00:38:41.875
Yes, I was part of the company.nYes, I was challenged.

00:38:41.875 --> 00:38:44.166
Yes, I got to work with
amazing, amazing people.\"

00:38:46.792 --> 00:38:50.667
The director was very kind
in saying, like,

00:38:50.667 --> 00:38:53.500
\"Well, if you want challenge,
we\'ll give you challenge.\"

00:38:53.500 --> 00:38:56.250
Like, \"Don\'t worry,
you\'ll be dancing.\"

00:39:18.291 --> 00:39:22.959
[classical music
plays on speakers]

00:40:35.834 --> 00:40:40.333
[piano plays classical music]

00:43:32.750 --> 00:43:38.542
JOY: On one hand, I think
it is difficult to come
back to Russia from the US.

00:43:38.542 --> 00:43:42.959
But on the other hand,
it\'s like coming home.

00:43:42.959 --> 00:43:44.875
But, on the other hand,
it\'s like, this is real life.

00:43:44.875 --> 00:43:48.333
And this is, um, a place
where I have a regime,

00:43:48.333 --> 00:43:51.083
and, um...

00:43:51.083 --> 00:43:52.959
I mean, I like--I like
the hardness of it.

00:43:52.959 --> 00:43:54.792
I like the challenge.

00:43:54.792 --> 00:43:56.625
I\'m very grateful that Nikita
is always supporting me.

00:43:56.625 --> 00:44:00.166
Um...

00:44:00.166 --> 00:44:01.959
But I would be lying to say
that everything is perfect,

00:44:01.959 --> 00:44:05.000
and that we have a family.

00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:06.917
I think that...

00:44:07.709 --> 00:44:09.917
I mean, we\'ll find
our way, but it\'s...

00:44:11.750 --> 00:44:14.959
very difficult...
to stay together.

00:44:16.458 --> 00:44:20.792
I know for me, that right now
I\'m extremely ambitious,

00:44:21.709 --> 00:44:24.667
and I\'m very focused
on being myself,

00:44:24.667 --> 00:44:26.875
and being my own person.

00:44:26.875 --> 00:44:28.458
Um, and so, I\'m not ready
to be a family yet.

00:44:28.458 --> 00:44:31.291
nI\'m not ready to be someone...

00:44:31.291 --> 00:44:34.166
I\'m not ready to be a wife.
I\'m not ready to be a mother.

00:44:34.166 --> 00:44:36.917
I\'m not ready to be a family
person, and I think that\'s--

00:44:36.917 --> 00:44:39.959
Um, I think that\'s an issue.

00:44:39.959 --> 00:44:41.542
I think that\'s--that\'s
really difficult.

00:44:41.917 --> 00:44:43.959
Um, I\'m going to debut
in Nutcracker

00:44:46.709 --> 00:44:50.208
as Masha, as the weevil,

00:44:50.208 --> 00:44:52.542
nand maybe the Sleeping Beauty.

00:44:52.542 --> 00:44:54.583
Um, in order
to reach these goals,

00:44:54.583 --> 00:44:56.625
I have to work harder
than I did yesterday.

00:44:56.625 --> 00:44:58.917
So, every day,
working harder than we worked
in the previous day.

00:45:54.500 --> 00:45:58.959
[classical music continues]

00:46:01.625 --> 00:46:05.834
DIRECTOR: [in Russian]

00:46:54.792 --> 00:46:58.959
[♪♪♪]

00:47:10.750 --> 00:47:15.291
For me, what I think...
love is,

00:47:15.291 --> 00:47:18.500
is when two people,

00:47:18.500 --> 00:47:20.250
who are pushing themselves
as hard as they can.

00:47:20.250 --> 00:47:23.667
My heart aches for him,

00:47:23.667 --> 00:47:25.083
because I know
he doesn\'t understand

00:47:25.083 --> 00:47:27.291
why I made this decision, and
I know that he\'s heartbroken.

00:47:27.625 --> 00:47:31.625
And I...

00:47:31.625 --> 00:47:33.625
I mean,
I have to see him every day.

00:47:33.625 --> 00:47:35.250
We--we don\'t talk,
but, um...

00:47:35.250 --> 00:47:37.625
My heart aches for him.

00:47:38.458 --> 00:47:40.625
And I know what
he\'s going through right now.

00:47:41.333 --> 00:47:44.125
I know how awful it is,
and how it looks like.

00:47:44.125 --> 00:47:47.333
But most of all, I wish
that instead of rushing off

00:47:47.333 --> 00:47:50.875
and getting
into another relationship,

00:47:50.875 --> 00:47:53.375
that he\'ll really
work on himself.

00:47:53.375 --> 00:47:55.458
Because that\'s what
real love is.

00:47:58.083 --> 00:47:59.792
When you\'re confident
in yourself,

00:47:59.792 --> 00:48:02.000
and you\'re your own person,

00:48:02.000 --> 00:48:03.834
um... then you can give a part
of yourself to someone else.

00:48:09.041 --> 00:48:12.834
[classical music resumes]

00:48:15.542 --> 00:48:19.458
DIRECTOR:

00:49:59.083 --> 00:50:03.625
[orchestra plays
classical music]

00:50:04.834 --> 00:50:05.500
[chatter in Russian]

00:50:20.917 --> 00:50:25.166
[music continues]

00:51:51.333 --> 00:51:55.583
MAN: [in Russian]

00:52:00.041 --> 00:52:04.583
[orchestra plays
classical music]

00:53:21.208 --> 00:53:25.333
[music ends]

00:53:25.333 --> 00:53:26.792
[audience applauds]

00:53:48.291 --> 00:53:52.417
[in Russian]

00:55:05.166 --> 00:55:09.333
[♪♪♪]

00:55:23.667 --> 00:55:28.125
[woman speaks indistinctly]

00:55:28.125 --> 00:55:31.041
[♪♪♪]

00:55:34.333 --> 00:55:38.500
[exhales deeply]

00:55:38.500 --> 00:55:41.000
[woman continues, indistinct]

00:55:56.125 --> 00:56:01.125
JOY: I know that
he\'s living with a woman.

00:56:01.125 --> 00:56:03.208
and they are very much
together, living
in the same place.

00:56:16.792 --> 00:56:20.959
[♪♪♪]

00:57:16.375 --> 00:57:20.625
JOY: [in Russian]

00:57:42.458 --> 00:57:46.625
[♪♪♪]

00:59:08.417 --> 00:59:12.917
Getting through
everything...

00:59:12.917 --> 00:59:15.750
it just makes me...
want to be done with men.

00:59:15.750 --> 00:59:20.417
-Like, my dad,
gives my mom freedom...
-Yeah.

00:59:20.417 --> 00:59:22.458
-...to do whatever she wants.
-Which is so awesome.

00:59:22.458 --> 00:59:25.291
But she\'s still-
She\'s still a woman.

00:59:25.291 --> 00:59:27.709
And that\'s, like,
the greatest thing.

00:59:27.709 --> 00:59:29.375
-That\'s an American quality.
-Mm-hmm.

00:59:29.375 --> 00:59:32.083
-In Russia, it\'s, obviously,
it\'s different than expected.
-It\'s different.

00:59:32.083 --> 00:59:35.709
Don\'t give
all the freedom to--

00:59:35.709 --> 00:59:39.333
That they can.
That, you know,

00:59:39.333 --> 00:59:41.959
\'Cause they think that,
you know, \"Oh, I\'m the man.

00:59:41.959 --> 00:59:44.417
So, I can do everything
and some women can\'t.

00:59:44.875 --> 00:59:48.500
That role was expected of me,

00:59:49.333 --> 00:59:51.291
and I was considered selfish
because I didn\'t want--

00:59:51.291 --> 00:59:54.500
-Mm-hmm.
-You know--

00:59:54.500 --> 00:59:58.667
Well, see, yeah, because
obviously, it\'s different...-Yeah
-...mentalities.

00:59:58.667 --> 01:00:00.333
He has a complete
opposite way of thinking,

01:00:00.333 --> 01:00:03.417
and looking at the world.

01:00:03.417 --> 01:00:05.041
-So, with that mentality of...
-How do you--

01:00:05.041 --> 01:00:08.417
...him knowing already
from, you know, birth,

01:00:08.417 --> 01:00:11.500
that the woman has
to do everything.

01:00:11.500 --> 01:00:14.083
And if the husband expects
her to do something,
she has to do it.

01:00:14.083 --> 01:00:18.000
-Yeah.
-And that\'s not always right.

01:00:18.000 --> 01:00:20.834
[overlapping chatter]

01:00:20.834 --> 01:00:24.625
MASHA: Bye.

01:00:24.625 --> 01:00:26.333
[Joy, indistinct]

01:00:26.333 --> 01:00:28.792
MASHA: Okay. I\'ll do it.

01:00:28.792 --> 01:00:31.333
JOY: I think the Bolshoi,
for me, was definitely
my everything.

01:00:31.333 --> 01:00:34.750
It was all I wanted.

01:00:34.750 --> 01:00:36.875
Um, it\'s so hard for me to evennthink about loving something

01:00:38.166 --> 01:00:42.667
that strong again, you know?

01:00:42.667 --> 01:00:45.041
I had sacrificed everything
just for that theater, you know.

01:00:45.041 --> 01:00:49.083
No, but I enjoy dancing
on stage,

01:00:49.083 --> 01:00:52.041
um, parts, and preparing those,

01:00:52.041 --> 01:00:54.458
more than I would like
to stand in the court of ballet
at a huge company.

01:00:54.458 --> 01:00:58.333
Even if it\'s more prestigious.

01:00:58.333 --> 01:00:59.875
I learned that by dancing
with the Bolshoi.

01:00:59.875 --> 01:01:01.834
For me, my goal is to be
a star on the stage.

01:01:01.834 --> 01:01:04.792
I want to be the main person.
It\'s so much fun.

01:01:04.792 --> 01:01:07.166
Um, my favorite--

01:01:07.166 --> 01:01:12.500
One of my favorite artists,
Maria Kochetkova,
just gave an interview,and I feel like she said
something that is--
rings really dear to me.

01:01:12.500 --> 01:01:16.834
She said, uh, \"For me,
it was really difficult

01:01:16.834 --> 01:01:20.000
when I was at English
National Ballet,

01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:21.542
because one day
I would dance the lead,

01:01:21.542 --> 01:01:23.959
and then the next day I wouldngo back in the corps de ballet.

01:01:23.959 --> 01:01:26.125
And once you get a taste
of dancing a lead role,

01:01:26.125 --> 01:01:29.208
you\'d never want
to go back in the corps.\"

01:01:29.208 --> 01:01:32.375
And that I definitely
have that feeling.

01:01:32.375 --> 01:01:35.208
At the Kremlin, I\'m given
a lot of principal roles,

01:01:35.208 --> 01:01:38.250
and I feel like I would die
if someone put me back
in the corps de ballet.

01:01:39.083 --> 01:01:42.917
[orchestra plays
classical music]

01:01:52.291 --> 01:01:57.083
JOY: The path that
you need to go

01:01:57.083 --> 01:01:58.959
to prove yourself
as a ballerina,

01:01:58.959 --> 01:02:01.333
isSwan Lake.

01:02:01.333 --> 01:02:02.834
[music continues]

01:02:31.125 --> 01:02:35.375
[music continues]

01:03:06.125 --> 01:03:11.166
JOY: One of the people
that I love the most,

01:03:11.166 --> 01:03:12.875
which is my teacher,
Zhanna, she\'s here.

01:03:12.875 --> 01:03:15.667
You know, if Zhanna were to gonsomewhere, I would follow her.

01:03:15.667 --> 01:03:18.834
But for the--for the time
period she\'s here,

01:03:18.834 --> 01:03:22.125
and she\'s the person
that I want to work with.

01:03:22.125 --> 01:03:23.875
Because for a dancer,
for a ballerina,

01:03:23.875 --> 01:03:26.291
with a capitalized letter
\"Ballerina\",

01:03:26.291 --> 01:03:29.041
which is not just a dancer,
it\'s a person
who\'s creating roles.

01:03:29.041 --> 01:03:32.542
You have to have
a shepherd.

01:03:32.542 --> 01:03:34.667
You have to have a teacher
who is controlling you,

01:03:34.667 --> 01:03:37.959
in a sense, in a way.

01:03:37.959 --> 01:03:43.625
And eventually,
you are able to take over
the reins by yourself.But I\'m at a periodnwhere it\'s very important that

01:03:43.625 --> 01:03:47.333
my coach, um, and I
are on the same level.

01:04:00.417 --> 01:04:05.041
[orchestral instruments
warming up]

01:04:05.041 --> 01:04:07.709
[faint chatter]

01:04:07.709 --> 01:04:10.041
JOY: Unfortunately,
it\'s been depressing.

01:04:11.875 --> 01:04:14.959
It\'s been very difficult
for me because we are--

01:04:14.959 --> 01:04:18.542
My teacher and I
are--are constantly

01:04:18.542 --> 01:04:21.125
being promised
the role of Swan Lake,

01:04:21.125 --> 01:04:23.625
and we\'ve prepared it.

01:04:23.625 --> 01:04:25.250
Already I\'ve danced it
with a different company before.

01:04:25.250 --> 01:04:28.083
And I was really
looking forward to April,

01:04:28.083 --> 01:04:30.667
because they had promised me
that I would dance it.

01:04:30.667 --> 01:04:33.333
But, of course, it\'s ballet.
It\'s the ballet world.

01:04:33.333 --> 01:04:36.083
There\'s... you know--

01:04:36.083 --> 01:04:37.834
They posted a different cast.

01:04:37.834 --> 01:04:40.125
Because of--of
different political things,

01:04:40.125 --> 01:04:43.291
I won\'t be dancing it
this spring.

01:04:43.291 --> 01:04:44.834
And that\'s unfortunate,
but, I mean,

01:04:44.834 --> 01:04:47.625
I think that, you know,

01:04:47.625 --> 01:04:49.625
not--not everything...
is as easy as one thinks.

01:04:49.625 --> 01:04:54.542
And there are a lot of factors
and it may not--

01:04:54.542 --> 01:04:57.417
It--it might not be
that I\'m not ready

01:04:57.417 --> 01:05:00.041
or--or that I\'m not
good enough, but no,

01:05:00.041 --> 01:05:02.792
but just because there\'s
another dancer who, you know,

01:05:02.792 --> 01:05:05.625
she has more
seniority than me,

01:05:05.625 --> 01:05:07.625
and, um, you know,
they\'re Russian.

01:05:07.625 --> 01:05:10.583
Unfortunately, I think
that all of the--the outside
political pressures

01:05:12.583 --> 01:05:16.917
that are on people here
in Russia have really changed
the way people see me.

01:05:16.917 --> 01:05:21.041
Even if they knew me
beforehand and...

01:05:21.041 --> 01:05:23.750
I mean, it\'s just
one more problem that
I have to deal with,

01:05:23.750 --> 01:05:26.458
and, of course,
it\'s extremely depressing,

01:05:26.458 --> 01:05:29.333
because people don\'t
see me anymore.

01:05:29.333 --> 01:05:31.625
They just see...

01:05:31.625 --> 01:05:33.041
mmm, they see that
I\'m an American.

01:05:33.041 --> 01:05:36.208
[♪♪♪]

01:05:54.166 --> 01:05:59.458
JOY: Getting to dance Myrtha in
Giselle is a big role for me.

01:05:59.458 --> 01:06:02.667
It\'s another way to show
that I am a strong dancer

01:06:02.667 --> 01:06:05.375
and someone who can
execute well.

01:06:05.375 --> 01:06:07.792
Hopefully, I can show thatnI\'m worth the word \"Ballerina\".

01:06:13.667 --> 01:06:18.583
There\'s a whole bunch of blamenbeing thrown around,

01:06:18.583 --> 01:06:21.250
and people are so uncertain
of the future.

01:06:21.250 --> 01:06:23.959
That\'s the only thing
that is certain,

01:06:23.959 --> 01:06:25.917
is tomorrow\'s performance,
and that\'s it.

01:06:25.917 --> 01:06:28.750
I don\'t know what
my future brings.

01:07:02.917 --> 01:07:06.917
WOMAN:

01:08:30.500 --> 01:08:34.458
JOY:

01:08:34.875 --> 01:08:38.875
WOMAN:

01:08:38.875 --> 01:08:40.583
JOY:

01:08:40.583 --> 01:08:42.125
WOMAN:

01:08:44.667 --> 01:08:45.166
JOY:

01:09:03.834 --> 01:09:07.792
JOY:

01:09:50.750 --> 01:09:55.291
[orchestra plays
classical music]

01:10:46.041 --> 01:10:50.291
[music continues]

01:11:46.041 --> 01:11:50.208
[music fades]

01:11:50.208 --> 01:11:51.417
[♪♪♪]

01:11:54.166 --> 01:11:58.333
[♪♪♪]

01:12:09.458 --> 01:12:14.291
JOY: That performance
ofGiselle,

01:12:14.291 --> 01:12:16.542
of dancing the role Myrtha,
in my heart,

01:12:16.542 --> 01:12:19.333
I had let go of the part.

01:12:19.333 --> 01:12:21.875
I had really meant
that performance

01:12:21.875 --> 01:12:23.875
to be my last show
in the Kremlin.

01:12:30.959 --> 01:12:35.834
There really is very much
an anti-American,

01:12:35.834 --> 01:12:39.542
anti-foreigners,
you know, stigma here,

01:12:39.542 --> 01:12:41.625
but, I mean,
you can\'t blame them.

01:12:41.625 --> 01:12:44.917
And there\'s no right or wrong
answer to the question.

01:12:44.917 --> 01:12:47.458
There\'s just--

01:12:47.458 --> 01:12:48.709
It\'s an information,
um, battle.

01:12:48.709 --> 01:12:51.125
When you\'re told your whole life that a certain
kind of people are terrible,

01:12:51.125 --> 01:12:55.667
it\'s so hard for you
to look at that kind of person

01:12:55.667 --> 01:12:58.417
that you\'ve been told is terrible
and see good in them.

01:12:58.417 --> 01:13:01.583
MASHA: It\'s already
because of that.

01:13:01.583 --> 01:13:03.375
Everything is set in the
mentality of Russians.

01:13:03.375 --> 01:13:05.875
That maybe everything\'s
a little bit more difficult.

01:13:05.875 --> 01:13:09.750
They\'re a little bit
more gloomy.

01:13:09.750 --> 01:13:11.917
They\'re more in their own
little world.

01:13:17.083 --> 01:13:22.458
JOY: I... I was stopped
on the way home--
coming home from work,

01:13:22.458 --> 01:13:26.125
and I had crossed the road
in a way that, you know,

01:13:26.125 --> 01:13:29.625
other people were doing
at the same time,
but I was stopped.

01:13:29.625 --> 01:13:32.500
And I didn\'t have
my registration with me.

01:13:32.500 --> 01:13:35.041
Which is a huge problem
in Russia if you don\'t have
your registration.

01:13:35.041 --> 01:13:38.709
And, I mean, I had
my work documents on me,

01:13:38.709 --> 01:13:41.583
but I didn\'t have
any cash on me.

01:13:41.583 --> 01:13:43.000
It was a very dangerous
situation.

01:13:43.000 --> 01:13:45.250
because I could have
been arrested.

01:13:45.250 --> 01:13:46.875
He started to talk to me
like I was a Russian person.

01:13:46.875 --> 01:13:49.625
And then he asked
for my documents,

01:13:49.625 --> 01:13:51.458
and he looked
at my documents.

01:13:51.458 --> 01:13:52.917
He saw that I was American.
He was like...

01:13:52.917 --> 01:13:55.041
[speaks in Russian]

01:13:55.041 --> 01:13:57.375
Like, \"Oh, an American.\"

01:13:57.375 --> 01:13:58.959
Like, \"Alright!
You think you can break the law,

01:13:58.959 --> 01:14:02.291
and get away with it,\"
you know.

01:14:02.291 --> 01:14:03.792
And I--I froze.

01:14:03.792 --> 01:14:06.709
My heart, like,
almost leapt out of my chest.

01:14:06.709 --> 01:14:09.250
I\'m like, \"Oh, my God.
What do I do?
I don\'t know who to call.

01:14:09.250 --> 01:14:11.500
I\'m all alone here.
No one\'s gonna help me.

01:14:11.500 --> 01:14:14.041
What happens is I don\'t have
anybody who can bail me out.\"

01:14:14.041 --> 01:14:17.542
And I didn\'t have
any cash on me.

01:14:17.542 --> 01:14:19.667
And--and thank God
that I had my Kremlin, um,

01:14:19.667 --> 01:14:23.125
my Kremlin pass.

01:14:23.125 --> 01:14:25.208
Not the Kremlin pass that I had
that says I\'m a ballet dancer,

01:14:25.208 --> 01:14:28.875
but it looks
sort of official.

01:14:28.875 --> 01:14:30.583
And so, he looked at it
and he\'s like,

01:14:30.583 --> 01:14:32.333
\"Okay, well,
don\'t do that anymore

01:14:32.333 --> 01:14:34.458
because I\'m gonna
have to arrest you.\"

01:14:34.458 --> 01:14:36.125
I just came home
and I\'m like,

01:14:36.125 --> 01:14:38.041
\"Okay, now I\'m always
carrying cash.

01:14:38.041 --> 01:14:40.834
Always having a copy
of my registration.

01:14:40.834 --> 01:14:43.417
And even so,
I mean, if--if...

01:14:43.417 --> 01:14:46.583
I was just lucky
that time.

01:14:46.583 --> 01:14:48.709
I wish--I wish that things
weren\'t as tense.

01:15:21.709 --> 01:15:26.542
???, he knew that I didn\'t
want to say it.

01:15:26.542 --> 01:15:30.458
And I was so upset.

01:15:30.458 --> 01:15:31.959
And after that
performance of Giselle,

01:15:31.959 --> 01:15:35.291
I didn\'t know this,
but he told Zhanna

01:15:35.291 --> 01:15:37.208
that I would dance
Swan Lake next season.

01:15:37.208 --> 01:15:39.834
[♪♪♪]

01:16:08.458 --> 01:16:13.166
JOY: Being practical
and logical,

01:16:13.166 --> 01:16:14.834
leaving Russian right now
was not smart.

01:16:14.834 --> 01:16:17.333
My peers, regardlessnof the geo-political situation

01:16:18.458 --> 01:16:21.667
in ballet,
is forever.

01:16:21.667 --> 01:16:24.166
My luck could just be someone
to connect the bridges,

01:16:25.417 --> 01:16:29.542
to--to bridge stereotypes.

01:16:29.542 --> 01:16:32.542
Ballet is certainly
an experience

01:16:32.542 --> 01:16:35.333
that unites anyone,

01:16:35.333 --> 01:16:37.125
regardless of religion...

01:16:37.125 --> 01:16:39.959
language...

01:16:40.417 --> 01:16:41.500
aesthetic.

01:16:43.000 --> 01:16:44.291
It\'s a universal language.

01:17:09.291 --> 01:17:13.458
[♪♪♪]

01:17:18.041 --> 01:17:22.208
[♪♪♪]

01:17:32.709 --> 01:17:37.000
[chatter in Russian]

01:17:55.166 --> 01:18:00.500
JOY:I didn\'t want
to tell Zhanna how bad
my leg was hurting.

01:18:00.500 --> 01:18:03.291
So, I was like,
\"I have to make it through.\"

01:18:03.291 --> 01:18:05.583
And it swole up and I had tonput so much, like, ibuprofen...

01:18:05.583 --> 01:18:09.917
[classical music plays]

01:19:03.083 --> 01:19:07.834
JOY: It will,
and always will be,

01:19:07.834 --> 01:19:10.458
one of the hardest, cleanest,
technically demanding
roles there is.

01:19:10.458 --> 01:19:15.291
And it\'s very hard,
because you have to be
soft and innocent,

01:19:15.792 --> 01:19:20.291
and--and a woman vulnerable.

01:19:20.291 --> 01:19:24.041
Which is very difficult
for--for myself.

01:19:24.041 --> 01:19:27.083
And you have to benthe strong, independent, uh...

01:19:27.959 --> 01:19:32.333
resilient black swan.

01:19:32.333 --> 01:19:34.667
And, once again, you have to
trust your partner.

01:19:34.667 --> 01:19:37.208
You have to be able
to do extremely demanding
technical feats

01:19:37.208 --> 01:19:41.125
while, um,
touching the audience.

01:19:41.125 --> 01:19:44.667
So, it\'s--it\'s
the ultimate, uh,

01:19:44.667 --> 01:19:47.917
combination of allthe lessons that I\'ve learnednover the past couple of years.

01:19:48.250 --> 01:19:52.417
[both laughing]

01:19:52.417 --> 01:19:54.583
It\'s really one of the hardestnthings to make look good,

01:19:54.583 --> 01:19:58.000
because you can\'t
hide behind anything.

01:19:58.000 --> 01:20:00.792
You have-- You\'re there
in a white tutu.

01:20:00.792 --> 01:20:02.709
Your legs, your body,
uh, your soul

01:20:02.709 --> 01:20:05.417
is on display
for the audience.

01:20:05.417 --> 01:20:07.250
You can\'t hide behind
a beautiful costume.

01:20:07.250 --> 01:20:09.166
You can\'t hide
behind the choreography.

01:20:09.166 --> 01:20:10.875
Because everyone knowsnthe music and the choreography.

01:20:10.875 --> 01:20:14.458
So, it\'s something thatis used as a measurement almostnof a dancer.

01:20:14.458 --> 01:20:18.709
It can be quite scary
to perform this ballet.

01:20:33.083 --> 01:20:37.417
[Joy breathing deeply]

01:20:37.417 --> 01:20:39.417
-ZHANNA:
-JOY:

01:20:39.417 --> 01:20:42.792
ZHANNA:

01:21:04.792 --> 01:21:08.792
Yeah.

01:21:08.792 --> 01:21:10.166
Oh, my God.
Good for you.

01:21:11.000 --> 01:21:12.959
Can you just give me
your left-- your right leg?

01:21:12.959 --> 01:21:15.583
Because I think I got a stress
fracture in my right foot,

01:21:15.583 --> 01:21:18.333
and it hurts so bad.

01:21:18.333 --> 01:21:20.291
You have no idea.
Yeah.

01:21:20.291 --> 01:21:22.500
Okay. Alright.
Yeah.

01:21:23.709 --> 01:21:26.083
Girl, I love you so much.

01:21:29.375 --> 01:21:32.542
JOY: Most people who--who
see me or know me,

01:21:32.542 --> 01:21:37.125
think of me as somebody
who\'s a broad-board dancer.

01:21:37.125 --> 01:21:40.792
As somebody that\'s
only meant to dance sort of
strong, technical roles.

01:21:41.291 --> 01:21:46.000
Uh, where there\'s
a happy woman,

01:21:46.000 --> 01:21:48.959
or a mean character,

01:21:48.959 --> 01:21:51.375
or something, you know,
strong and...

01:21:51.375 --> 01:21:55.417
[classical music plays]

01:22:15.542 --> 01:22:19.709
[♪♪♪]

01:22:22.875 --> 01:22:27.041
[♪♪♪]

01:22:31.583 --> 01:22:35.750
[♪♪♪]

01:22:54.792 --> 01:22:58.959
[♪♪♪]

01:23:12.583 --> 01:23:16.750
[♪♪♪]

01:23:52.125 --> 01:23:56.458
[Joy breathing deeply]

01:23:56.458 --> 01:23:59.750
[orchestra plays
classical music]

01:26:29.417 --> 01:26:33.542
[music ends]

01:26:33.542 --> 01:26:35.333
[audience applauds]

01:26:44.000 --> 01:26:48.291
WOMAN: [in Russian]

01:26:48.291 --> 01:26:49.625
[audience cheers and applauds]

01:26:53.583 --> 01:26:57.875
[chatter in Russian]

01:26:57.875 --> 01:26:59.625
JOY: So, for me,
the ultimate conflict

01:26:59.625 --> 01:27:01.750
was when Petrov came
and told Zhanna,

01:27:01.750 --> 01:27:05.166
not that I was the best
Black Swan he\'s ever seen,

01:27:05.166 --> 01:27:08.208
but the best White Swan.

01:27:08.208 --> 01:27:10.375
-PETROV:
-ZHANNA:

01:27:10.375 --> 01:27:12.667
PETROV:

01:27:12.667 --> 01:27:15.125
[♪♪♪]

01:27:18.208 --> 01:27:22.250
[♪♪♪]

01:27:46.500 --> 01:27:50.583
[applause]

01:27:51.875 --> 01:27:54.041
[♪♪♪]

01:28:02.083 --> 01:28:06.250
[music fades]

01:28:08.834 --> 01:28:13.000
[♪♪♪]

01:28:25.542 --> 01:28:30.750
It\'s been three years, and I\'ve
gotten so much from the Kremlin.

01:28:30.750 --> 01:28:34.500
So, so, so much.

01:28:34.500 --> 01:28:36.750
I think it\'s time
to just start over.

01:28:38.709 --> 01:28:40.709
[♪♪♪]

01:28:55.625 --> 01:29:00.458
JOY: Moscow will
always be my home,

01:29:00.458 --> 01:29:02.375
and I will always think
of Moscow as my base,

01:29:02.375 --> 01:29:05.166
because, uh, Bolshoi Theatre
is my first love.

01:29:12.083 --> 01:29:16.959
And I considered, uh,
rejoining the Bolshoi,

01:29:16.959 --> 01:29:20.417
And, at that time, I was offered
a really great contract

01:29:20.417 --> 01:29:23.792
by, uh, South Korea.

01:29:23.792 --> 01:29:25.792
And I thought that I needed to
do this at this time in my life.

01:29:25.792 --> 01:29:29.333
And we will see
what will happen in the future.

01:29:29.333 --> 01:29:31.792
Who knows, maybe I\'ll come back,
maybe I won\'t.

01:29:36.458 --> 01:29:40.750
[instrumental music]

01:30:28.208 --> 01:30:32.333
[music ends]