WEBVTT

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(car beeping)

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(grunting)

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(distant alarm wailing)

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(knocking on door)

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- Watch these steps.

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One of the worst things

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I have never accomplished
with my father

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I always wanted
him to take my hand

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and walk with me somewhere.

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- Have a relationship
with your father.

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- I just wanted him
to take my hand.

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I don\'t care if we\'d just
walk down the steps to

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the plaza and then take
me back up the steps.

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That he would just take my hand

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and walk with me somewhere.

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- Just let me know
what it feels like

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even to be a father.

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- Yep, yep, yep.

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To know that you are my daddy.

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- And to know that too.

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- But to keep me
wondering about,

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are you my daddy?

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What are you going to show me?

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- Can you show me
anything or something.

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I used to long for
stuff like that.

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(dramatic orchestral music)

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(percussive music)

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Niggers.

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Niggers.

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- Niggers shoot guns
and rifles on New Year\'s

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Eve, a new year
that is coming in

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but white police will do

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more shooting at them.

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Where are niggers

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when the revolution
needs some shots?

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Yeah, you know.

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Niggers are somewhere
shooting the shit.

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Niggers are scared
of revolution.

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Niggers are lovers.

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- [Man] I love you, nigger

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- Oooh, niggers are lovers.

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- [Man] Don\'t ever
leave me, nigger.

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- Niggers love to
see Clark Gable

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make love to Marilyn Monroe.

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Niggers love to see Tarzan
fuck over the natives.

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Niggers love to hear the Lone
Ranger yell, \"Hi ho, Silver!\"

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Niggers love commercials,

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niggers love commercials.

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Oh, how niggers
love commercials.

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♪ You can take niggers
out of the country ♪

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♪ but you can\'t take the
country out of niggers ♪

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- Niggers are lovers,

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niggers are lovers.

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Niggers loved to
hear Malcolm rap,

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niggers loved to
hear Malcolm rap,

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niggers loved to
hear Malcolm rap,

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but they didn\'t love Malcolm.

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- [Man] He holds a gun.

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- Niggers love everything
but themselves,

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niggers love everything
but themselves,

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niggers love everything
but themselves.

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- [Man] Anything but themselves

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- But I\'m a lover too,

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I\'m a lover too.

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I love niggers, because
niggers are me, and

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I should only love that
which is part of me.

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I love to see niggers
go through changes,

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love to see niggers act,

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love to see niggers
make them plays

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and shoot that shit,

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but there\'s one
thing about niggers

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I do not love.

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- [Both] Niggers are
scared of revolution.

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(audience applauding)

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(high pitch frequency ringing)

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- Who\'s Umar Bin Hassan?

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And The Last Poets,

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why should we care
about The Last Poets?

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Here\'s why.

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Because they\'ve had such

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an astonishing and
enduring influence

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on the artists who
you love right now.

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(upbeat music)

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It was a revolutionary era,

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\'66 or \'67.

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And certainly in
American black history

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that\'s a very,
very fraught time.

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- You had the beginnings of

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the Black Panther Party,
you had Angela Davis.

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Everyone was giving speeches.

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And this The Last Poets
sound was very much

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the sound of what
people were imagining.

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- May 19, 1968,

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which was Malcolm X\'s birthday,

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we are going to perform

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in a park in Harlem.

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And it\'s gonna be,

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there were a whole bunch
of black revolutionary

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people are going to
be crowding around

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and I\'m going to do some poetry

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to try to win the
minds of these people.

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I wasn\'t certain I could do it.

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I really wasn\'t.

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- They were so legendary,

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because they went
against the system.

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- The very idea of
having a group of poets

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work together with poets

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individual people who
don\'t get along with

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themselves, let alone
with other people

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and have them together
in a collective,

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that\'s almost like a
little minor miracle.

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- You know, the thing about

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that first The Last Poets record

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is that it really
was a complete,

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highly developed,
artistic statement.

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- The first album let
me know that I was

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doing something that
made a difference.

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- Their mission was
to address black folks

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and to inspire black folks.

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But there were folks
who weren\'t black

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who were engaged
by The Last Poets.

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- I think it was because
of the simplicity

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by which we delivered
our message.

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We got a conga drum and people.

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Ain\'t no microphone or nothing.

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We were just kicking it.

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- It was raw, it was street
poetry, it was everything

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that people were thinking about.

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- There was no Facebook,
there was no Twitter,

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there was none of that.

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But we sold a million copies.

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- The whole art of rap

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takes at least some
of its influence

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from the example
of The Last Poets.

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- We would do our
poetry anywhere

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where we felt it was
going to be relevant.

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That\'s also been a
part of the fabric

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that\'s created hip hop.

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Because hip hop comes
off of the street.

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Hip hop was something

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that was definitely
born on the block.

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- I think there\'s
no Gil Scott-Heron

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without The Last Poets.

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He came right on the
heels of The Last Poets.

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But then, through
The Last Poets and

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Gil Scott-Heron, you
have all these rappers.

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- [Man] A lot of rap
people recognized that

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that was their roots.

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- In the late \'80s
and early \'90s

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records by The Last Poets
cut 20 years earlier

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were being sampled
and worked into

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new recordings by
these young artists

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including Biggie Smalls,

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who samples \"Party
and Bullshit\".

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- I\'m saying, there ain\'t
gonna be no revolution,

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because niggas will
party and bullshit.

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And here we are
sitting in a situation

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where that\'s exactly,

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not only are they doing that,

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to stop any possibility
of revolution,

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but they\'re saying that
while they\'re doing it.

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So, it drives me
nuts to some extent.

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(dramatic orchestral music)

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- To be a revolutionary poet

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was more or less
self-consciously

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to present yourself as
a model revolutionary.

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And so there\'s a lot of pressure

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on you to be invulnerable.

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Becoming a revolutionary
and helping

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to create a revolution
is a tough gig

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and people are
going to fail at it.

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For him to say niggas
are scared of revolution

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is a way of saying basically,

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don\'t be scared.

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- Losing ourselves in times
of despair, becoming--

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- One of the things
that distinguishes him,

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even in the context
of The Last Poets

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is how naked his feeling is.

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There\'s always kind of a
personal element in it.

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- [Umar] I\'ll be
slowly turning around.

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- I think he\'s got
a lot of voices

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inside his head
that he listens to.

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A lot of personalities.

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So those personalities

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all come up and
dominate sometimes.

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- Stretching on, in spite
of falls, and even--

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- I guess the darkness
could consume all of us

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if we don\'t allow
light to come in.

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Why the light was
not shining on him,

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why he didn\'t see
it, I don\'t know.

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- Bam, bam, bam, bam.

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Black folks--

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- And that probably
added to the demons.

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Like just never really
feeling good enough

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to be that person he
wrote about in his poetry.

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- I think he saw a lot
out there and did a lot.

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- Umar is like all of us.

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He is a creature of
his time and place.

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- Not one single poet
you are going to meet

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who has a poem with any depth

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that doesn\'t talk
about themselves.

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If a poem has any depth
whatsoever, you best

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believe they reached into
their souls to get it.

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And you can see
them in that poem.

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One of his greatest poems is

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\"Niggers Are Scared
of Revolution\"

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because he\'s a nigger

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who\'s scared of revolution.

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(dreamy orchestral music)

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- He would go out
and shine shoes.

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He started shining shoes
at about eight o\'clock.

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He would be out late at night.

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And sometimes we
wouldn\'t have food.

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But he would come
in with baloney

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and crackers and
stuff like that.

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He was like an adult
at eight years old,

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because he was out
there shining shoes.

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- Okay, okay.

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We\'re going to Akron now.

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Time to get to Akron.

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- You could say that maybe

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the roots of Umar\'s
turn to poetry

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go back to his days
as a shoe shine boy.

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Because he had to
make up little rhymes

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to catch the attention
of would-be customers.

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- [Umar] This is the Midwest.

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Beer, steaks and
mash and potatoes.

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That\'s it.

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(humming)

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(sighing)

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Hello, mother.

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- Hi.

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- [Umar] How are you?

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I brought you some company.

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- He used to stutter a lot.

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You know how when somebody,

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uh, uh, uh, uh,

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it would take him a long time.

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He was bad, but
he grew out of it.

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- I want to talk.

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I hear everyone else talking,

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I ain\'t talking.

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What\'s up?

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You know what I\'m saying?

00:14:24.500 --> 00:14:25.199
What\'s up?

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So I was like, oh oh,

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but she used to tell
me, \"Just take your time

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\"just take your time
and just try to talk.

00:14:32.567 --> 00:14:33.366
\"Just take your time.\"

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And all of a sudden,
one day I talked

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and everybody was amazed.

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- [Man On TV] Get 17% below
MSRP on almost every--

00:14:43.900 --> 00:14:46.900
- They had a riot here in \'68.

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They would have police
to stop the rioting

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and everything.

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But he was really into it.

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And I had to tell him,

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no, you can\'t be like that.

00:15:00.333 --> 00:15:01.399
You know?

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You\'re not that old

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to try to make a
difference in the races.

00:15:07.633 --> 00:15:09.633
We\'re all human beings.

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Black white, green, blue.

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You have to get that
out of your mind.

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- I remember her
trying to keep me

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on the straight and
narrow, but I just,

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my mind was gone.

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I was often into making
some noise against America.

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This is Howard Street.

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This street, at that
time, was probably

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one of the baddest
streets in the Midwest.

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Because you had all kinds
of hustlers and pimps

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coming just to hang
out on Howard Street.

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From Detroit, from
Minneapolis, from Chicago,

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to hang out just
on Howard Street.

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And up here, of course,
there\'s all the clubs where

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I used to shine shoes.

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The Hi-Hat, the 41 Club.

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My main thing was to
get home to my family

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to help, I would fear nothing.

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See that viaduct?

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I used to sit up on that viaduct

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counting my money sometimes.

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My father came looking
for me one night.

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I knew he was mad, because
you could tell when

00:16:37.133 --> 00:16:39.532
my dad was mad, because
he always walked fast.

00:16:39.533 --> 00:16:40.199
He grabbed me.

00:16:40.200 --> 00:16:42.199
I\'m counting like
quarters and dollars.

00:16:42.200 --> 00:16:43.999
I made some money.

00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:44.833
He grabbed me,

00:16:44.834 --> 00:16:45.532
\"Come on, boy.

00:16:45.533 --> 00:16:46.332
\"Come on with me.\"

00:16:46.333 --> 00:16:47.899
So when we got in the house,

00:16:47.900 --> 00:16:50.499
he throws me over to my mother.

00:16:50.500 --> 00:16:52.699
He said, \"Bob, you know what
this little nigga was doing?\"

00:16:52.700 --> 00:16:55.632
He was sitting up on the
viaduct counting his money.

00:16:55.633 --> 00:16:58.132
He said, \"This little
nigga\'s crazy.\"

00:16:58.133 --> 00:17:01.133
(dramatic orchestral music)

00:17:02.734 --> 00:17:04.833
- You know what anxiety is?

00:17:04.834 --> 00:17:06.566
We had a lot of anxiety as kids.

00:17:06.567 --> 00:17:09.567
Because anxiety is
fear of the unknown.

00:17:09.734 --> 00:17:11.766
The anxiety was my father.

00:17:11.767 --> 00:17:12.866
We were afraid of his unknown.

00:17:12.867 --> 00:17:15.799
We didn\'t know what he
would come in and do.

00:17:15.800 --> 00:17:18.299
- He was talented.

00:17:18.300 --> 00:17:21.300
He could sing.

00:17:21.500 --> 00:17:23.366
He had a nice voice.

00:17:23.367 --> 00:17:26.367
But it looked like his
mind wasn\'t on his talent.

00:17:30.233 --> 00:17:32.432
It was on other things.

00:17:32.433 --> 00:17:35.433
Because we were young
when we got married.

00:17:35.633 --> 00:17:37.599
We were 16.

00:17:37.600 --> 00:17:39.466
That\'s pretty young.

00:17:39.467 --> 00:17:42.467
- But I think that he was
a brilliant trumpet player.

00:17:43.734 --> 00:17:45.866
When Count Basie and
people like that came to

00:17:45.867 --> 00:17:48.867
town, he would play with
them on Howard Street.

00:17:49.233 --> 00:17:52.233
But what happened is
that, it broke his heart

00:17:53.900 --> 00:17:55.032
that he was just as good as them

00:17:55.033 --> 00:17:58.033
but he just, he
didn\'t get that--

00:17:58.233 --> 00:17:59.299
- [Man] That recognition.

00:17:59.300 --> 00:18:00.399
- That recognition.

00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:03.400
Yeah, so he went to the bottle.

00:18:28.734 --> 00:18:30.566
- This is the area
where a lot of pain,

00:18:30.567 --> 00:18:32.899
a lot of misery, a lot of
glory, a lot of beauty,

00:18:32.900 --> 00:18:34.699
a lot of sadness went on.

00:18:34.700 --> 00:18:37.065
177 East North Street,

00:18:37.066 --> 00:18:40.066
apartment B, the Hulings.

00:18:40.166 --> 00:18:43.166
People always talk
about your hometown.

00:18:43.467 --> 00:18:45.332
There\'s no place in this town

00:18:45.333 --> 00:18:48.165
that shows I resided here.

00:18:48.166 --> 00:18:50.733
209 Ferner Street is gone,

00:18:50.734 --> 00:18:53.734
177 East North Street is gone.

00:18:55.967 --> 00:18:58.967
648 Douglas Street is gone,

00:18:59.734 --> 00:19:01.499
and 339 Westchester is gone.

00:19:01.500 --> 00:19:03.299
People say, well, it\'s
still your hometown.

00:19:03.300 --> 00:19:04.299
You still got family.

00:19:04.300 --> 00:19:06.799
Yeah, but you also would
like to know that there

00:19:06.800 --> 00:19:09.800
are places to show that
you lived here, too.

00:19:11.633 --> 00:19:12.432
Ain\'t nothing here.

00:19:12.433 --> 00:19:13.699
Man, I can\'t call
this my hometown.

00:19:13.700 --> 00:19:15.466
How can I call this my hometown

00:19:15.467 --> 00:19:16.399
when there ain\'t nothing here

00:19:16.400 --> 00:19:19.400
to show that I lived here?

00:19:25.233 --> 00:19:26.733
We had each other.

00:19:26.734 --> 00:19:27.933
We fought our way through.

00:19:27.934 --> 00:19:29.599
We made it through.

00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:31.966
We had each other,
there was love there.

00:19:31.967 --> 00:19:33.199
We had our mother.

00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:33.999
Our mother was there

00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:34.933
to love us and look out for us.

00:19:34.934 --> 00:19:37.632
And sometimes when there
was no food in the house

00:19:37.633 --> 00:19:39.165
she\'d just bring us together

00:19:39.166 --> 00:19:41.366
and tell us jokes
and make us laugh.

00:19:41.367 --> 00:19:43.499
Some of us would fall
asleep and some of us

00:19:43.500 --> 00:19:46.165
would go up to bed.

00:19:46.166 --> 00:19:47.532
We made it through.

00:19:47.533 --> 00:19:50.533
- See, his father would
take his money that he

00:19:51.467 --> 00:19:54.467
was taking home to his
mom as a little boy

00:19:54.667 --> 00:19:57.265
to try and help the family.

00:19:57.266 --> 00:19:58.065
His father was drinking

00:19:58.066 --> 00:20:01.066
and stuff and he
would take his money.

00:20:01.233 --> 00:20:02.866
And he got tired of
it as a little boy.

00:20:02.867 --> 00:20:05.867
He didn\'t like that and
so he stood up about it.

00:20:06.700 --> 00:20:07.499
He was a little boy.

00:20:07.500 --> 00:20:09.532
This kinda stuff you got
to go through as a child.

00:20:09.533 --> 00:20:10.599
Can you imagine that?

00:20:10.600 --> 00:20:12.532
- His father was absent.

00:20:12.533 --> 00:20:14.866
His father was a musician.

00:20:14.867 --> 00:20:17.867
Umar would go to
local nightclubs

00:20:18.100 --> 00:20:20.499
and see his father perform

00:20:20.500 --> 00:20:22.099
but it\'s not like
the two of them

00:20:22.100 --> 00:20:23.332
would go home together.

00:20:23.333 --> 00:20:26.065
Effectively, Umar
didn\'t have a father.

00:20:26.066 --> 00:20:29.066
(dramatic orchestral music)

00:20:55.600 --> 00:20:57.699
- My mother tried
to love my father,

00:20:57.700 --> 00:20:59.032
no matter what he
took her through.

00:20:59.033 --> 00:21:00.366
No matter what he did to her.

00:21:00.367 --> 00:21:03.332
She still tried
to love my father.

00:21:03.333 --> 00:21:06.333
That\'s what used to
make me hate my father.

00:21:06.367 --> 00:21:08.199
She tried to love somebody

00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:10.666
that didn\'t know
how to love himself.

00:21:10.667 --> 00:21:12.399
And that was just,

00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:14.532
she\'s lucky to be alive.

00:21:14.533 --> 00:21:15.466
He could have destroyed her.

00:21:15.467 --> 00:21:18.032
Not physically, but
emotionally and mentally,

00:21:18.033 --> 00:21:19.432
he could\'ve destroyed my mother.

00:21:19.433 --> 00:21:20.966
My mother is a strong woman.

00:21:20.967 --> 00:21:23.366
She fought through that.

00:21:23.367 --> 00:21:24.766
Because it was for us.

00:21:24.767 --> 00:21:25.432
She knew that

00:21:25.433 --> 00:21:27.666
if she lost us, we
would have nobody.

00:21:27.667 --> 00:21:29.032
So that was,

00:21:29.033 --> 00:21:32.033
she fought through that for us.

00:21:32.800 --> 00:21:35.800
She took things she should
have never took as a woman.

00:21:50.133 --> 00:21:53.133
I woke up to the
vague sound of voices

00:21:53.600 --> 00:21:55.566
in the distance.

00:21:55.567 --> 00:21:57.132
I slipped out of bed

00:21:57.133 --> 00:22:00.133
and opened the bedroom door.

00:22:00.567 --> 00:22:03.265
I hid behind the banister.

00:22:03.266 --> 00:22:05.032
I held my arm in
front of my face

00:22:05.033 --> 00:22:08.033
against the bright
hallway lights.

00:22:12.066 --> 00:22:13.699
\"Open up this door.

00:22:13.700 --> 00:22:14.532
\"Let me in.\"

00:22:14.533 --> 00:22:17.533
I grabbed my hatchet
and ran down the steps.

00:22:17.867 --> 00:22:19.933
My mother ran down behind me

00:22:19.934 --> 00:22:22.934
and snatched it from my hands.

00:22:23.333 --> 00:22:26.333
Daddy must die.

00:22:30.767 --> 00:22:33.767
Daddy must die.

00:22:40.467 --> 00:22:41.399
And I still see that shit.

00:22:41.400 --> 00:22:44.400
I was just down
there on the couch,

00:22:44.433 --> 00:22:45.799
watching him upstairs

00:22:45.800 --> 00:22:47.432
and hearing him
upstairs beating her up.

00:22:47.433 --> 00:22:49.666
Because I was getting
ready to kill him.

00:22:49.667 --> 00:22:52.599
I was really ready
to take his life.

00:22:52.600 --> 00:22:53.966
And my mother saw
that, like I said.

00:22:53.967 --> 00:22:56.366
That\'s when she
came, she saw it.

00:22:56.367 --> 00:22:58.065
She saw me ran pass her bedroom,

00:22:58.066 --> 00:22:59.699
ran downstairs and saw
me grabbing the hatchet

00:22:59.700 --> 00:23:02.700
because she could see
that I was serious.

00:23:04.667 --> 00:23:07.566
Daddy must die.

00:23:07.567 --> 00:23:09.399
Daddy must die.

00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:12.400
(dramatic orchestral music)

00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.833
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:34.834 --> 00:23:36.766
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:36.767 --> 00:23:38.833
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:38.834 --> 00:23:40.834
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:40.834 --> 00:23:43.399
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:43.400 --> 00:23:45.799
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:45.800 --> 00:23:47.999
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:51.000
♪ I love supreme ♪

00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:56.000
- There was a riot in Akron.

00:23:56.667 --> 00:23:57.632
And they said, \"Fuck you\"

00:23:57.633 --> 00:23:58.999
and they started to
burn the city down.

00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:01.065
Which is what happened
all over America

00:24:01.066 --> 00:24:01.866
during that time.

00:24:01.867 --> 00:24:03.232
But it was the kind of
thing that was going

00:24:03.233 --> 00:24:06.233
to help to radicalize
young Jerome Huling.

00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:10.500
And so, he does what
lots of creative,

00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:14.000
ambitious folks
did at that time.

00:24:14.633 --> 00:24:15.933
He went to New York.

00:24:15.934 --> 00:24:18.934
(light jazz music)

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:21.432
- He said, \"Hey, I\'m leaving.

00:24:21.433 --> 00:24:22.366
\"I\'m going to New York,

00:24:22.367 --> 00:24:25.099
\"I\'m going to become a star.\"

00:24:25.100 --> 00:24:28.100
- He was always
curious about things.

00:24:28.100 --> 00:24:31.100
So one day he went
out there to see.

00:24:32.800 --> 00:24:35.800
There\'s a whole big
world out there.

00:24:38.233 --> 00:24:39.432
- Akron was too small for him.

00:24:39.433 --> 00:24:42.433
His spirit, he was too
talented, he was too crazy.

00:24:43.800 --> 00:24:44.632
He had to.

00:24:44.633 --> 00:24:46.799
New York was the place for him.

00:24:46.800 --> 00:24:49.800
(percussive music)

00:25:33.934 --> 00:25:35.299
(car horns honking)

00:25:35.300 --> 00:25:36.099
- The day when he left,

00:25:36.100 --> 00:25:38.232
I found out that my
record player was gone.

00:25:38.233 --> 00:25:40.432
(laughing)

00:25:40.433 --> 00:25:41.532
And then later I found out

00:25:41.533 --> 00:25:44.533
he had pawned it for
money for his ticket.

00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:49.000
But it was okay, though.

00:25:56.533 --> 00:25:59.199
- He came in here
with his suitcase,

00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:00.999
looking like Oliver Twist.

00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:03.332
Like he had no place to be.

00:26:03.333 --> 00:26:06.333
I told the people, I
said, we\'ve got this guy

00:26:06.533 --> 00:26:07.799
from Akron, Ohio.

00:26:07.800 --> 00:26:09.566
He wants to be a Last Poet.

00:26:09.567 --> 00:26:12.265
And that\'s when he did
his \"Motherfucker\" poem,

00:26:12.266 --> 00:26:14.199
which was a piece of shit.

00:26:14.200 --> 00:26:15.199
It\'s garbage.

00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:16.299
And he knows that.

00:26:16.300 --> 00:26:17.833
It\'s not poetic at all.

00:26:17.834 --> 00:26:20.834
But Umar has a way of
presenting anything

00:26:20.867 --> 00:26:23.666
that makes it exciting
and interesting.

00:26:23.667 --> 00:26:24.432
And his voice

00:26:24.433 --> 00:26:26.132
and the way he
said what he said.

00:26:26.133 --> 00:26:28.232
Every time he said
motherfucker, every time

00:26:28.233 --> 00:26:30.866
he said the name of one
of our black heroes,

00:26:30.867 --> 00:26:31.666
he said it in such a way

00:26:31.667 --> 00:26:34.432
that just got a rise
out of the folks.

00:26:34.433 --> 00:26:37.299
\"Eldridge Cleaver was
a bad motherfucker,

00:26:37.300 --> 00:26:40.132
\"Huey Newton was a
badder motherfucker.\"

00:26:40.133 --> 00:26:42.999
Everybody was a certain
kind of motherfucker.

00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.299
It was as if he put the
adjective before the word

00:26:45.300 --> 00:26:48.300
motherfucker and he
emphasized the adjective.

00:26:48.467 --> 00:26:50.499
And it was only as Umar could do

00:26:50.500 --> 00:26:51.466
and get away with.

00:26:51.467 --> 00:26:54.467
But the poem didn\'t
merit poetry.

00:26:54.900 --> 00:26:56.799
I hugged him and I told
him right then and there,

00:26:56.800 --> 00:26:59.800
you\'re never doing that
motherfucking poem with me.

00:27:00.767 --> 00:27:01.432
That\'s out.

00:27:01.433 --> 00:27:04.433
You\'ve got to write
some real shit.

00:27:04.500 --> 00:27:05.799
- [Man On TV] And he didn\'t pay.

00:27:05.800 --> 00:27:06.966
- I said to him,
you\'ve been in Harlem

00:27:06.967 --> 00:27:09.466
for a few months, I think.

00:27:09.467 --> 00:27:12.467
Maybe you\'ve been in
Harlem a month or so.

00:27:12.734 --> 00:27:15.734
I said, what have you
learned about black people?

00:27:16.834 --> 00:27:17.766
He says, \"I know one thing.

00:27:17.767 --> 00:27:19.432
\"Niggers are scared
of revolution.\"

00:27:19.433 --> 00:27:21.632
I said, write it down.

00:27:21.633 --> 00:27:22.432
And show me all the ways

00:27:22.433 --> 00:27:25.299
that they\'re scared
of revolution.

00:27:25.300 --> 00:27:26.999
I said, write it down.

00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:30.000
(upbeat jazz music)

00:28:26.166 --> 00:28:27.399
- I\'d sit right
here on this spot,

00:28:27.400 --> 00:28:30.400
where all the gays,
the robbers and lovers,

00:28:33.266 --> 00:28:35.632
everything coming through
this park with different

00:28:35.633 --> 00:28:38.399
ideologies and
different philosophies.

00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:39.666
And I just sat here
and wrote that poem,

00:28:39.667 --> 00:28:42.065
\"Niggers Are Scared
of Revolution\".

00:28:42.066 --> 00:28:42.733
Yes, I did.

00:28:42.734 --> 00:28:45.734
niggers, niggers, niggers,

00:28:46.166 --> 00:28:49.166
niggers, niggers, niggers

00:28:49.233 --> 00:28:51.766
niggers are scared
of revolution,

00:28:51.767 --> 00:28:54.165
but niggers shouldn\'t
be scared of revolution

00:28:54.166 --> 00:28:56.666
because revolution is
nothing but change,

00:28:56.667 --> 00:28:59.499
and all niggers do is change

00:28:59.500 --> 00:29:02.500
(dreamy orchestral music)

00:29:09.467 --> 00:29:12.199
Ain\'t no city like
this in the world, man.

00:29:12.200 --> 00:29:14.432
It\'s crazy, it\'s
mad, it\'s magical,

00:29:14.433 --> 00:29:16.899
it\'s sick, it\'s
distorted, it\'s twisted.

00:29:16.900 --> 00:29:19.065
But you\'ve got to come
and be a part of it.

00:29:19.066 --> 00:29:22.066
You really get the feel of it.

00:29:22.600 --> 00:29:25.600
Whew, here I am again.

00:29:25.633 --> 00:29:26.165
\'69.

00:29:26.166 --> 00:29:29.166
50 years I\'ve been
up here doing this.

00:29:29.433 --> 00:29:30.733
When I hit 42nd and 8th Avenue

00:29:30.734 --> 00:29:33.332
for the first time, I
saw all them lights.

00:29:33.333 --> 00:29:35.532
I said, listen, man.

00:29:35.533 --> 00:29:36.866
Is this Broadway?

00:29:36.867 --> 00:29:38.466
I said, is this Broadway?

00:29:38.467 --> 00:29:41.099
He looked this way,
then he looked that way

00:29:41.100 --> 00:29:41.766
and looked back.

00:29:41.767 --> 00:29:43.232
He said, \"You just got
off that bus, didn\'t you?\"

00:29:43.233 --> 00:29:44.366
I said, yeah, I did, brother.

00:29:44.367 --> 00:29:47.165
He said, \"No, this
is 40 Deuce Street.

00:29:47.166 --> 00:29:50.166
\"You better know
where you\'re at.\"

00:29:50.333 --> 00:29:52.032
That\'s when I wrote that poem.

00:29:52.033 --> 00:29:54.532
Forty Deuce Street,
the weave of magic,

00:29:54.533 --> 00:29:57.432
sometimes beauty,
sometimes tragic

00:29:57.433 --> 00:29:58.899
where glamor and illusion

00:29:58.900 --> 00:29:59.966
are the welcome committee

00:29:59.967 --> 00:30:02.566
where overindulgence
becomes self-pity,

00:30:02.567 --> 00:30:05.399
where pleasure becomes
an absence of time

00:30:05.400 --> 00:30:07.499
where dignity goes confusion

00:30:07.500 --> 00:30:08.666
and poverty becomes rhyme,

00:30:08.667 --> 00:30:10.466
where fresh young country boys,

00:30:10.467 --> 00:30:12.099
courageous and bold

00:30:12.100 --> 00:30:13.733
leave from Greyhound buses,

00:30:13.734 --> 00:30:14.733
right into the fold,

00:30:14.734 --> 00:30:17.199
while visions of promised lands

00:30:17.200 --> 00:30:18.499
dance in their heads,

00:30:18.500 --> 00:30:20.165
their dreams have already gone

00:30:20.166 --> 00:30:20.966
to join the dead.

00:30:20.967 --> 00:30:23.165
Tears, sneers and
elegant queers,

00:30:23.166 --> 00:30:25.332
all hung up in
their lonely fears.

00:30:25.333 --> 00:30:28.299
Whores, boars and
acid-faced Moors,

00:30:28.300 --> 00:30:30.499
all strung out in
their midnight chores.

00:30:30.500 --> 00:30:32.899
I got that smoke,
I got that coke,

00:30:32.900 --> 00:30:35.900
I got that feeling
for a real good joke.

00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:39.232
How much I adore it

00:30:39.233 --> 00:30:42.233
and how much I hate
it at the same time.

00:30:43.734 --> 00:30:46.165
But I\'m no different than
any other human being

00:30:46.166 --> 00:30:48.532
that\'s gone through
the same thing.

00:30:48.533 --> 00:30:50.766
You love it, you hate it,

00:30:50.767 --> 00:30:53.399
but you can\'t leave it alone.

00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:55.733
Lord, have mercy.

00:30:55.734 --> 00:30:58.734
Lord, have mercy on our souls.

00:30:58.967 --> 00:31:01.967
(dramatic orchestral music)

00:31:06.200 --> 00:31:07.499
- The easy thing to say is

00:31:07.500 --> 00:31:08.799
that he\'s a rockstar.

00:31:08.800 --> 00:31:11.800
He\'s led an itinerant life,

00:31:12.567 --> 00:31:14.966
a performer\'s life.

00:31:14.967 --> 00:31:17.967
And that will wear you down.

00:31:18.834 --> 00:31:19.766
- With most of those groups,

00:31:19.767 --> 00:31:22.767
their politics
became showbusiness.

00:31:24.734 --> 00:31:27.734
And most of the
politics of it faded

00:31:28.333 --> 00:31:31.333
and turned into something else.

00:32:02.834 --> 00:32:04.834
- As if everything stood still

00:32:05.834 --> 00:32:08.834
the lights of the cars
and taxis down below,

00:32:09.667 --> 00:32:12.667
melting into one
glistening image,

00:32:12.867 --> 00:32:15.065
a fading flash of light

00:32:15.066 --> 00:32:16.699
that nestled in my memory.

00:32:16.700 --> 00:32:19.700
I had never seen New
York like this before,

00:32:19.734 --> 00:32:22.734
the city as an
abstract painting,

00:32:22.834 --> 00:32:24.332
frozen in gaze,

00:32:24.333 --> 00:32:26.899
the city as a perfect reflection

00:32:26.900 --> 00:32:27.999
of my state of mind.

00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:30.899
Everything I had been through

00:32:30.900 --> 00:32:31.699
up until now,

00:32:31.700 --> 00:32:34.700
all the violence, the commotion,

00:32:34.867 --> 00:32:36.632
the love affairs, the sex,

00:32:36.633 --> 00:32:38.799
the disappointment,
the successes

00:32:38.800 --> 00:32:41.800
drained from me
and left me empty.

00:32:43.266 --> 00:32:45.266
This is how I feel,

00:32:45.266 --> 00:32:48.165
as though I am ready to fall,

00:32:48.166 --> 00:32:51.166
fall as deep as I can.

00:32:52.700 --> 00:32:53.866
- That period in the \'80s

00:32:53.867 --> 00:32:56.599
was a period of crack cocaine.

00:32:56.600 --> 00:32:59.099
- Like literally
walking down the street,

00:32:59.100 --> 00:32:59.933
kicking crack vials.

00:32:59.934 --> 00:33:02.934
That was the norm growing
up in Brooklyn, back then.

00:33:05.400 --> 00:33:08.400
- I think Umar got
caught up in it.

00:33:09.967 --> 00:33:11.265
- When he was on
drugs I worried,

00:33:11.266 --> 00:33:14.266
because you\'re thinking,
where\'s your dad at?

00:33:15.500 --> 00:33:18.500
- If you\'re bent a certain way,

00:33:19.500 --> 00:33:22.500
ending it all has
got its appeal.

00:33:23.900 --> 00:33:25.833
- He\'s had moments where
he couldn\'t show up

00:33:25.834 --> 00:33:28.834
because of his drug habit.

00:33:29.633 --> 00:33:31.532
And I said, where\'s Umar?

00:33:31.533 --> 00:33:32.199
He\'s not here.

00:33:32.200 --> 00:33:35.200
He said, \"He was here,
but I sent him home.

00:33:35.934 --> 00:33:38.934
\"He was in no condition
to be on a stage.\"

00:33:40.834 --> 00:33:43.834
It broke my heart.

00:33:51.066 --> 00:33:52.899
- Next thing I know I\'m gone.

00:33:52.900 --> 00:33:55.900
I came up to New York,
got to fucking around.

00:33:57.433 --> 00:34:00.433
I got so fucked up, strung
out, and then it was no

00:34:01.033 --> 00:34:02.332
longer free base.

00:34:02.333 --> 00:34:04.933
It was crack I was fucking with.

00:34:04.934 --> 00:34:06.966
That happened in New York.

00:34:06.967 --> 00:34:09.599
All over the fucking city.

00:34:09.600 --> 00:34:11.933
And it didn\'t look the
same to me anymore.

00:34:11.934 --> 00:34:14.934
I did look like
a fucking, psssh,

00:34:16.800 --> 00:34:19.800
shit, I\'d be getting
high and shit.

00:34:20.233 --> 00:34:22.899
I really did.

00:34:22.900 --> 00:34:24.933
Even this, when I
go back to this,

00:34:24.934 --> 00:34:27.934
it always fucks me up when
I have to go back and say,

00:34:29.600 --> 00:34:32.165
when I took that first
hit, it fucked me up.

00:34:32.166 --> 00:34:35.166
Because it fucked
up a lot of my life.

00:34:35.166 --> 00:34:36.766
I was in the streets.

00:34:36.767 --> 00:34:37.833
Next thing you know,

00:34:37.834 --> 00:34:39.666
I wasn\'t fucking with
free base no more.

00:34:39.667 --> 00:34:40.733
I was smoking crack

00:34:40.734 --> 00:34:43.734
in New York City, in Brooklyn.

00:35:00.333 --> 00:35:02.799
As far as you know
the physical feeling,

00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:05.199
when I took the first
hit, it was joyous.

00:35:05.200 --> 00:35:08.200
It was the most wonderful
thing I\'d felt in the world.

00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:11.800
I\'d never felt nothing
like that in my life.

00:35:12.266 --> 00:35:15.266
You want me to put that down?

00:35:21.200 --> 00:35:24.200
I went from free base to
crack and Old English,

00:35:24.667 --> 00:35:27.299
just like that.

00:35:27.300 --> 00:35:29.132
The feeling was scary.

00:35:29.133 --> 00:35:32.133
I felt joyous,
heightened, overwhelmed.

00:35:32.767 --> 00:35:34.399
When I inhaled that shit,

00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:37.265
my life was never the same.

00:35:37.266 --> 00:35:38.933
My thoughts, my emotions,

00:35:38.934 --> 00:35:41.934
my dreams, my days
were timeless.

00:35:42.600 --> 00:35:44.833
Constrained only by my madness

00:35:44.834 --> 00:35:47.834
of when and where I
would get my next hit.

00:36:02.667 --> 00:36:04.199
- He needed to pay his rent.

00:36:04.200 --> 00:36:06.200
Or half.

00:36:06.200 --> 00:36:06.999
I go to the bank.

00:36:07.000 --> 00:36:10.000
I withdraw all my
money out the bank.

00:36:11.467 --> 00:36:14.467
So, something
clicked in my head.

00:36:14.533 --> 00:36:16.099
Something said,

00:36:16.100 --> 00:36:19.100
I don\'t believe he\'s
using this money for rent.

00:36:21.367 --> 00:36:23.199
That\'s what I said.

00:36:23.200 --> 00:36:25.833
I said, something\'s not right.

00:36:25.834 --> 00:36:27.399
It just came out nasty.

00:36:27.400 --> 00:36:30.199
I said, are you on drugs?

00:36:30.200 --> 00:36:31.799
He said, \"Yeah.

00:36:31.800 --> 00:36:32.733
\"I didn\'t want you to know.\"

00:36:32.734 --> 00:36:35.734
I said, have you been taking
my money getting drugs?

00:36:36.934 --> 00:36:39.934
With my hard earned money?

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:40.699
He said, \"Yeah.\"

00:36:40.700 --> 00:36:43.700
I said, you\'re not
getting another penny.

00:36:46.333 --> 00:36:49.333
And I said, you haven\'t
been the first black man

00:36:51.033 --> 00:36:53.532
that\'s on drugs, and
you won\'t be the last.

00:36:53.533 --> 00:36:54.899
You have to do it yourself.

00:36:54.900 --> 00:36:56.532
You got yourself into it,

00:36:56.533 --> 00:36:58.799
you got to get yourself out.

00:36:58.800 --> 00:36:59.866
And he did.

00:36:59.867 --> 00:37:02.867
Eventually he did.

00:37:12.033 --> 00:37:13.032
- All right.

00:37:13.033 --> 00:37:13.999
I\'m going.

00:37:14.000 --> 00:37:16.466
Listen, I love you, okay?
- Okay.

00:37:16.467 --> 00:37:18.532
- [Umar] Thank you
for everything.

00:37:18.533 --> 00:37:21.499
And I call you when I
get to Sandra\'s, okay?

00:37:21.500 --> 00:37:24.500
- Bye.

00:37:32.367 --> 00:37:35.367
(dramatic orchestral music)

00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:47.799
- My brother called me.

00:37:47.800 --> 00:37:50.566
He said, \"Can you come get me?\"

00:37:50.567 --> 00:37:52.466
He said, \"I\'m in
real bad shape.\"

00:37:52.467 --> 00:37:53.399
So I said, where are you?

00:37:53.400 --> 00:37:56.400
He said, \"I\'ll be
at Port Authority.\"

00:37:57.033 --> 00:38:00.033
My brother Georgie and
I went to New York.

00:38:00.033 --> 00:38:03.033
So we went to Port Authority.

00:38:03.166 --> 00:38:05.733
And we drove around
and we drove around,

00:38:05.734 --> 00:38:06.632
we didn\'t see him.

00:38:06.633 --> 00:38:09.633
And so I said, let me
get out of the car.

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:13.000
There\'s a guy over there,
he looks like a bum.

00:38:14.834 --> 00:38:15.766
He said, \"I don\'t see him.\"

00:38:15.767 --> 00:38:18.767
But I walked up
and I said, Jerome?

00:38:21.400 --> 00:38:23.332
He was in pretty bad shape.

00:38:23.333 --> 00:38:26.333
He was in real bad shape.

00:38:50.967 --> 00:38:52.466
It was very hard.

00:38:52.467 --> 00:38:54.065
It was very hard, yeah.

00:38:54.066 --> 00:38:56.032
Because I didn\'t know
anything about crack.

00:38:56.033 --> 00:38:59.033
I didn\'t know anything
about drugs, or anything.

00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:05.766
Sometimes people do
things to belong,

00:39:05.767 --> 00:39:07.399
to fit in.

00:39:07.400 --> 00:39:09.265
And maybe at that
time he was surrounded

00:39:09.266 --> 00:39:12.266
by people and he
wanted to just fit in.

00:39:13.233 --> 00:39:15.733
- Because he can\'t love himself.

00:39:15.734 --> 00:39:18.165
It starts with the
love for yourself.

00:39:18.166 --> 00:39:21.166
You\'ve got to love you.

00:39:21.300 --> 00:39:23.833
- And then that night he
was in the living room

00:39:23.834 --> 00:39:25.999
and I went in there
and he was laying down.

00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:29.000
And I saw him like,
his hands like,

00:39:30.033 --> 00:39:31.833
so I go and get my brother.

00:39:31.834 --> 00:39:32.499
I said, look.

00:39:32.500 --> 00:39:34.032
He said, \"He\'s feigning.\"

00:39:34.033 --> 00:39:34.833
I said, feigning?

00:39:34.834 --> 00:39:36.165
\"Yeah, he needs drugs.\"

00:39:36.166 --> 00:39:36.833
I said, what?

00:39:36.834 --> 00:39:39.834
We can\'t get him no drugs.

00:39:49.967 --> 00:39:52.967
(sighing)

00:39:54.767 --> 00:39:57.767
(knocking on door)

00:40:04.266 --> 00:40:06.299
- [Umar] Yeah, you know.

00:40:06.300 --> 00:40:07.399
How are you doing?

00:40:07.400 --> 00:40:07.933
- Okay.

00:40:07.934 --> 00:40:09.065
- [Umar] How are you doing?

00:40:09.066 --> 00:40:09.632
- Okay.

00:40:09.633 --> 00:40:10.966
How you\'re doing.

00:40:10.967 --> 00:40:13.967
Good to see you.

00:40:26.500 --> 00:40:28.132
Jerome, what do you want?

00:40:28.133 --> 00:40:30.099
Regular turkey or
turkey pastrami?

00:40:30.100 --> 00:40:31.966
- [Umar] I like the
turkey pastrami.

00:40:31.967 --> 00:40:34.967
- Turkey pastrami.

00:40:39.934 --> 00:40:42.934
- You know, she\'s the
one who saved my life.

00:40:44.066 --> 00:40:46.432
I stayed 17 years with her, so,

00:40:46.433 --> 00:40:49.433
like I said, for her
to come to New York

00:40:51.433 --> 00:40:52.299
and get me that day,

00:40:52.300 --> 00:40:55.265
I was afraid that she
might, well, I ain\'t going.

00:40:55.266 --> 00:40:55.966
He\'s on drugs.

00:40:55.967 --> 00:40:56.933
I don\'t want nothing with that,

00:40:56.934 --> 00:40:58.632
my brother, he\'s gone.

00:40:58.633 --> 00:40:59.466
She was there, man.

00:40:59.467 --> 00:41:01.666
She was down there
within two hours.

00:41:01.667 --> 00:41:04.667
(muttering)

00:41:19.500 --> 00:41:21.399
- He lived here.

00:41:21.400 --> 00:41:23.265
It was tough, but he did okay.

00:41:23.266 --> 00:41:25.165
He got a job and he worked.

00:41:25.166 --> 00:41:28.166
And then he stayed in the
basement all the time.

00:41:29.033 --> 00:41:29.833
He got a typewriter

00:41:29.834 --> 00:41:32.834
and he just started
writing again.

00:41:42.934 --> 00:41:45.934
- That word to come
from their mouths.

00:42:04.667 --> 00:42:07.667
Up from this,

00:42:09.233 --> 00:42:10.966
this basement.

00:42:10.967 --> 00:42:13.132
I had just come back

00:42:13.133 --> 00:42:15.799
from the world of
drugs and violence.

00:42:15.800 --> 00:42:18.399
I couldn\'t afford
to be negative.

00:42:18.400 --> 00:42:21.400
There were so many positive
things I wanted to do.

00:42:22.600 --> 00:42:25.600
Drugs, drugs have always
been a friend of mine.

00:42:26.433 --> 00:42:28.866
When I trusted no one else,

00:42:28.867 --> 00:42:31.833
when I believed in no one else,

00:42:31.834 --> 00:42:34.265
drugs were always there.

00:42:34.266 --> 00:42:37.266
(dramatic orchestral music)

00:42:41.834 --> 00:42:43.232
- [Bill] Give Umar credit

00:42:43.233 --> 00:42:46.233
that he wasn\'t quite
as self-destructive

00:42:48.166 --> 00:42:50.399
as he might have been.

00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:53.032
And then in effect,
he chose to live

00:42:53.033 --> 00:42:56.033
and he chose to put
aside his bad habits.

00:43:06.367 --> 00:43:07.833
- The thing I got from Umar

00:43:07.834 --> 00:43:10.666
was that he was in control.

00:43:10.667 --> 00:43:12.933
I felt like he was somebody

00:43:12.934 --> 00:43:15.934
who I could depend on.

00:43:30.333 --> 00:43:31.532
- I\'m glad we\'re
going to that park.

00:43:31.533 --> 00:43:34.533
I wouldn\'t go out of here
if I didn\'t have that park.

00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:38.632
- You know what would
be a good place, Jerome?

00:43:38.633 --> 00:43:40.466
Out to the beach too.

00:43:40.467 --> 00:43:43.467
- Yeah, Blue Lake?

00:43:44.934 --> 00:43:45.733
Look, it\'s beautiful.

00:43:45.734 --> 00:43:46.999
I didn\'t even realize
it was this beautiful.

00:43:47.000 --> 00:43:50.000
This is like my
second time here.

00:43:51.867 --> 00:43:54.867
I don\'t really
come to the beach.

00:44:13.367 --> 00:44:16.367
(dreamy orchestral music)

00:44:20.967 --> 00:44:23.099
- Ready to go, Jerome?

00:44:23.100 --> 00:44:24.165
- [Umar] Yeah.

00:44:24.166 --> 00:44:27.166
Look at those birds.

00:44:38.333 --> 00:44:41.333
- [Sandra] What
year did you come?

00:44:41.467 --> 00:44:41.999
\'90?

00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:43.733
- [Umar] Something like that.

00:44:43.734 --> 00:44:45.599
No, I left in \'90.

00:44:45.600 --> 00:44:46.432
I left in \'90.

00:44:46.433 --> 00:44:49.199
\'80 something.

00:44:49.200 --> 00:44:51.566
- [Sandra] 17 years here, right?

00:44:51.567 --> 00:44:54.567
- Yeah, 17 years.

00:44:58.967 --> 00:45:00.966
- When you\'re young,
you\'re just living life.

00:45:00.967 --> 00:45:03.833
You\'re not thinking
about that stuff.

00:45:03.834 --> 00:45:06.834
You\'re paying attention
to who is there.

00:45:07.200 --> 00:45:09.399
You\'re paying attention
to who\'s around you.

00:45:09.400 --> 00:45:11.499
You\'re not sitting
back at night and say,

00:45:11.500 --> 00:45:12.432
My father is not here.

00:45:12.433 --> 00:45:13.232
Life is terrible.

00:45:13.233 --> 00:45:16.233
Because you\'re a
kid living life.

00:45:16.400 --> 00:45:19.400
But of course later
down the line,

00:45:20.433 --> 00:45:22.632
you see the voids

00:45:22.633 --> 00:45:25.633
and where his
presence was missed.

00:45:29.333 --> 00:45:32.333
Even with myself.

00:45:33.500 --> 00:45:36.500
(baby crying)

00:45:39.200 --> 00:45:40.632
- I never heard my mother

00:45:40.633 --> 00:45:41.566
talk bad about my father.

00:45:41.567 --> 00:45:44.567
And she was raising all
three of his kids by herself.

00:45:46.333 --> 00:45:49.265
Whenever he would say
he was going to come,

00:45:49.266 --> 00:45:51.799
she would get us dressed

00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:54.800
and she wouldn\'t say
anything bad about him.

00:45:55.767 --> 00:45:58.767
And every time he
would never show up.

00:45:59.066 --> 00:46:00.799
(laughing)

00:46:00.800 --> 00:46:03.800
And we never, I could
just remember us.

00:46:05.734 --> 00:46:07.199
It was like a routine.

00:46:07.200 --> 00:46:08.766
Coming back home and my mother

00:46:08.767 --> 00:46:11.332
telling us to go
put on our clothes.

00:46:11.333 --> 00:46:14.333
Not even so much for us,
but I just feel for her

00:46:15.567 --> 00:46:18.567
as a mother having
to deal with that.

00:46:18.567 --> 00:46:20.966
Because now myself
being a mother, like,

00:46:20.967 --> 00:46:23.967
you take all of that
emotion from your kids.

00:46:27.033 --> 00:46:28.065
Wanting your kids to be happy

00:46:28.066 --> 00:46:31.066
and having children
with this man

00:46:32.867 --> 00:46:35.867
and just having to
go through that.

00:46:37.667 --> 00:46:39.499
He\'s not a bad person.

00:46:39.500 --> 00:46:40.432
He was never a bad person.

00:46:40.433 --> 00:46:42.199
But he was dealing
with those demons.

00:46:42.200 --> 00:46:44.899
And I know for him,
he wanted to be there,

00:46:44.900 --> 00:46:47.900
but he just didn\'t want
that around his kids.

00:46:49.066 --> 00:46:49.766
- I didn\'t.

00:46:49.767 --> 00:46:50.566
- I know he would call

00:46:50.567 --> 00:46:52.566
and his intentions
were always good,

00:46:52.567 --> 00:46:55.567
but it took me a while
to figure that out.

00:46:56.233 --> 00:46:58.599
Because I would be like,
why would you do that?

00:46:58.600 --> 00:46:59.632
Why would you say you were going

00:46:59.633 --> 00:47:02.265
to do something
and just not do it?

00:47:02.266 --> 00:47:05.266
(dramatic orchestral music)

00:47:06.500 --> 00:47:08.632
- I\'m not his only child.

00:47:08.633 --> 00:47:11.299
Sabriyah is not his only child.

00:47:11.300 --> 00:47:12.899
Khalil, Amina.

00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:14.299
He has many children

00:47:14.300 --> 00:47:17.300
that he compromised
relationships with.

00:47:26.800 --> 00:47:28.332
- He said his father never felt

00:47:28.333 --> 00:47:29.999
like he was enough.

00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:30.799
And I don\'t think

00:47:30.800 --> 00:47:33.800
my father ever felt
like he was enough.

00:47:35.266 --> 00:47:36.699
- I wanted his father to stay.

00:47:36.700 --> 00:47:39.700
I wanted him to grow up with
a father, but not that way.

00:47:42.600 --> 00:47:45.600
He was just downright mean,

00:47:47.100 --> 00:47:48.833
for no reason at all.

00:47:48.834 --> 00:47:50.432
- At one time I
felt I hated him.

00:47:50.433 --> 00:47:52.032
I wanted to kill him.

00:47:52.033 --> 00:47:52.566
- Hey.

00:47:52.567 --> 00:47:55.567
- But then my mother said,

00:47:57.166 --> 00:47:57.866
she told me,

00:47:57.867 --> 00:48:00.867
she said, \"No, you
didn\'t want to do that,

00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:02.899
\"because you\'re
too much like him.\"

00:48:02.900 --> 00:48:05.900
So now every time she
sees me, \"The older

00:48:06.100 --> 00:48:08.232
\"you get, the more you
look like your daddy.\"

00:48:08.233 --> 00:48:09.399
And the more I
feel like my daddy.

00:48:09.400 --> 00:48:12.099
I know that there were
certain things that he

00:48:12.100 --> 00:48:14.999
was fighting for just to
do and he couldn\'t do it

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:16.766
because of somebody
that he loved

00:48:16.767 --> 00:48:18.099
and that was his mother.

00:48:18.100 --> 00:48:21.100
His mother just blocked him.

00:48:38.800 --> 00:48:41.800
Mama holding my
hand in the storm.

00:48:42.867 --> 00:48:45.499
Audience participation
heavy in my dreams.

00:48:45.500 --> 00:48:48.500
The choir, the choir is singing
my favorite inspiration.

00:48:50.233 --> 00:48:52.532
God is alive, God is real

00:48:52.533 --> 00:48:55.533
He is alive right
here in my hands.

00:48:55.533 --> 00:48:58.533
He is on gigs in funky
mid-western clubs.

00:48:59.066 --> 00:49:01.632
Roll with us,
baby, roll with us.

00:49:01.633 --> 00:49:04.633
Shower us with that
funk, that country funk,

00:49:05.433 --> 00:49:07.332
backwoods, swamp and bayou funk

00:49:07.333 --> 00:49:10.333
way back into the
bottom of slave ships

00:49:10.900 --> 00:49:13.165
and deep dark funky screams

00:49:13.166 --> 00:49:14.833
that caress our souls

00:49:14.834 --> 00:49:15.933
and make us pat our feet

00:49:15.934 --> 00:49:18.833
to the rhythm, to the
blues, to the jazz

00:49:18.834 --> 00:49:20.999
and to the music in your heart

00:49:21.000 --> 00:49:22.366
that makes us want to dance

00:49:22.367 --> 00:49:25.367
and so I play, walking
through their smiles,

00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:27.799
pain, up-tempo

00:49:27.800 --> 00:49:30.432
sensitivity, open
to the four winds.

00:49:30.433 --> 00:49:33.433
I want you to feel
this thing I feel

00:49:34.033 --> 00:49:35.966
when finger touches strings,

00:49:35.967 --> 00:49:38.967
this strange thing
that kisses my lips,

00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:42.000
whispers in my ears,
embraces all that I am

00:49:43.667 --> 00:49:45.566
this thing called love.

00:49:45.567 --> 00:49:47.766
Love with no one to receive it,

00:49:47.767 --> 00:49:50.499
love with no one
to understand it,

00:49:50.500 --> 00:49:53.500
love with no one to care for it,

00:49:53.500 --> 00:49:55.466
musical discontent.

00:49:55.467 --> 00:49:58.265
Eyes rolling back, and my head,

00:49:58.266 --> 00:50:00.666
eyes rolling back, and my head.

00:50:00.667 --> 00:50:03.566
Needs something, no, not that.

00:50:03.567 --> 00:50:06.065
My head needs something,

00:50:06.066 --> 00:50:09.066
No, not that!

00:50:31.767 --> 00:50:33.065
I\'m going home.

00:50:33.066 --> 00:50:36.066
Granddaddy\'s coming home.

00:50:36.100 --> 00:50:37.566
Yeah, granddaddy\'s coming home.

00:50:37.567 --> 00:50:39.432
- [Woman] You\'re on your way?

00:50:39.433 --> 00:50:40.265
- Yeah, I\'m on the way.

00:50:40.266 --> 00:50:41.232
We\'re going to Cleveland

00:50:41.233 --> 00:50:44.233
to where I dropped
my father\'s ashes.

00:50:58.900 --> 00:51:01.900
Like I said, my brother
and sister decided

00:51:02.066 --> 00:51:04.933
to bury him in the ground,
and I didn\'t want that.

00:51:04.934 --> 00:51:06.666
I didn\'t want him
dead in the ground.

00:51:06.667 --> 00:51:07.599
I wanted him somewhere

00:51:07.600 --> 00:51:10.532
where his spirit could
just be free for once.

00:51:10.533 --> 00:51:12.632
That\'s why I thought
of the water.

00:51:12.633 --> 00:51:15.633
That\'s why I thought
of Lake Erie.

00:51:15.900 --> 00:51:18.900
Let his soul meet water

00:51:21.567 --> 00:51:23.666
so that he might feel something

00:51:23.667 --> 00:51:25.399
in his afterlife.

00:51:25.400 --> 00:51:26.699
So that\'s where the whole thing

00:51:26.700 --> 00:51:28.099
with the water came from.

00:51:28.100 --> 00:51:30.566
I was so glad that when
I did do that, that wind

00:51:30.567 --> 00:51:33.567
came up and just took his
ashes right out to sea.

00:51:49.633 --> 00:51:52.633
By the rocks.

00:52:04.333 --> 00:52:07.333
I did have problems
coming to resolve

00:52:09.333 --> 00:52:10.799
of who my father was

00:52:10.800 --> 00:52:13.332
and what he meant to me.

00:52:13.333 --> 00:52:14.332
It was in 1990

00:52:14.333 --> 00:52:16.366
and somehow I just
decided to go home

00:52:16.367 --> 00:52:19.367
and try to find him and
see him and talk to him.

00:52:20.900 --> 00:52:21.833
Just trying to mend some things.

00:52:21.834 --> 00:52:23.265
Even though I know
that he had been

00:52:23.266 --> 00:52:25.666
proud of me of
becoming a Last Poet.

00:52:25.667 --> 00:52:27.666
He just hugged me
and kept saying,

00:52:27.667 --> 00:52:28.966
\"My Jerome, my Jerome.\"

00:52:28.967 --> 00:52:31.967
And so, I wasn\'t
really recovered

00:52:34.834 --> 00:52:36.032
from the whole drug thing.

00:52:36.033 --> 00:52:37.065
But I was working in Akron.

00:52:37.066 --> 00:52:39.799
I had this little
job in a restaurant.

00:52:39.800 --> 00:52:41.866
And so I was seeing him.

00:52:41.867 --> 00:52:44.165
I saw him about three
times as I got back.

00:52:44.166 --> 00:52:47.032
But then one day my mother
called me on the job

00:52:47.033 --> 00:52:48.799
and she said, \"Your
father is gone.\"

00:52:48.800 --> 00:52:51.800
I said, whoa, I come home,
just to try to put just

00:52:52.367 --> 00:52:55.132
back together some type
of relationship with him

00:52:55.133 --> 00:52:58.133
and I thought it was working
and it was happening,

00:52:58.266 --> 00:52:59.599
but then he dies on me.

00:52:59.600 --> 00:53:01.532
And not only did he die on me,

00:53:01.533 --> 00:53:03.632
I was the one who had
to make the decision

00:53:03.633 --> 00:53:05.633
whether he lived or died,

00:53:05.633 --> 00:53:07.099
whether he lived of died.

00:53:07.100 --> 00:53:10.100
So when I got to the hospital,
when I got to his room,

00:53:13.400 --> 00:53:14.265
there were three of

00:53:14.266 --> 00:53:15.966
my other brothers and
sisters there, my mother.

00:53:15.967 --> 00:53:17.666
And he was on his bed.

00:53:17.667 --> 00:53:19.032
They had him all wired up.

00:53:19.033 --> 00:53:21.366
But he got his eyes over to me.

00:53:21.367 --> 00:53:22.332
Like, you go ahead.

00:53:22.333 --> 00:53:22.999
You be the man.

00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:24.132
You\'ve always been the man.

00:53:24.133 --> 00:53:24.999
You make the decision.

00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:26.366
Like he\'s telling
you, tell them.

00:53:26.367 --> 00:53:29.367
Let your daddy go,
let your daddy go.

00:53:29.867 --> 00:53:32.566
And so,

00:53:32.567 --> 00:53:34.432
I mean, you know man, you know.

00:53:34.433 --> 00:53:37.433
He\'s the man who
gave me my life.

00:53:38.734 --> 00:53:40.566
And I have got to decide

00:53:40.567 --> 00:53:43.567
whether he lives or dies.

00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:47.400
I said, yeah, just
turn off the machines.

00:53:56.166 --> 00:53:59.166
You see how the waves come in?

00:54:08.667 --> 00:54:11.667
(sighing)

00:54:25.734 --> 00:54:28.734
(dramatic orchestral music)
(sobbing)

00:54:56.300 --> 00:54:58.833
He grabbed me for
a minute there.

00:54:58.834 --> 00:55:01.132
He really did.

00:55:01.133 --> 00:55:01.799
He grabbed me.

00:55:01.800 --> 00:55:04.800
I felt him grab me.

00:55:06.266 --> 00:55:08.999
He knew I needed that too.

00:55:09.000 --> 00:55:11.000
He knew I needed that.

00:55:11.000 --> 00:55:14.000
He just grabbed me.

00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:19.000
Like I know he\'d be
here waiting on me.

00:55:19.667 --> 00:55:22.667
I know he\'d be
here waiting on me.

00:55:38.734 --> 00:55:41.734
(singing in foreign language)

00:56:21.934 --> 00:56:23.432
And he\'s still there.

00:56:23.433 --> 00:56:25.265
He\'s still watching over me.

00:56:25.266 --> 00:56:26.532
Because you know,
every time I go up

00:56:26.533 --> 00:56:29.533
on that stage, that\'s
what I really playing for.

00:56:31.233 --> 00:56:33.666
Everybody tells me, you
sound like a musician.

00:56:33.667 --> 00:56:36.667
Your phrases and your
reflections and words.

00:56:37.333 --> 00:56:38.265
But it\'s him.

00:56:38.266 --> 00:56:39.099
My brother Georgie said

00:56:39.100 --> 00:56:41.632
it in an interview we all had,

00:56:41.633 --> 00:56:44.633
\"He\'s just trying to keep
the family name alive,

00:56:45.934 --> 00:56:47.499
\"my father\'s presence alive.\"

00:56:47.500 --> 00:56:49.032
That\'s what it\'s
always been about.

00:56:49.033 --> 00:56:51.966
It ain\'t been about me
and black people or me

00:56:51.967 --> 00:56:54.299
and Black Nation or me
against white people.

00:56:54.300 --> 00:56:55.132
It was about me

00:56:55.133 --> 00:56:57.599
keeping my father\'s
legacy alive.

00:56:57.600 --> 00:56:58.833
Letting everybody know

00:56:58.834 --> 00:56:59.766
that there was something there

00:56:59.767 --> 00:57:02.767
that he didn\'t die
twisted and distorted

00:57:05.467 --> 00:57:07.933
and disappointed and disgusted.

00:57:07.934 --> 00:57:09.366
There was something there.

00:57:09.367 --> 00:57:10.165
And there was a time

00:57:10.166 --> 00:57:11.466
when he gave
something to the world

00:57:11.467 --> 00:57:14.467
and now it was my job
to take up that mantle

00:57:14.467 --> 00:57:16.299
and keep moving forward.

00:57:16.300 --> 00:57:18.632
Which hopefully
I have done well.

00:57:18.633 --> 00:57:21.633
And in some instances yes,
and in some instances no.

00:57:23.066 --> 00:57:25.733
You know, it\'s a gig, man.

00:57:25.734 --> 00:57:27.866
It\'s a gig and it\'s a job op.

00:57:27.867 --> 00:57:30.032
I have no regrets about it.

00:57:30.033 --> 00:57:31.899
I have no regrets
about all my life.

00:57:31.900 --> 00:57:34.499
My drug life, the alcoholism,

00:57:34.500 --> 00:57:35.432
my disappointment with women.

00:57:35.433 --> 00:57:37.232
I have no regrets
about all that.

00:57:37.233 --> 00:57:39.032
All that was part of me.

00:57:39.033 --> 00:57:42.033
(dreamy orchestral music)
(singing in foreign language)

00:58:27.367 --> 00:58:30.232
210 East Vanwagner.

00:58:30.233 --> 00:58:33.233
Spirits known and unknown,

00:58:33.500 --> 00:58:35.599
a sense of family.

00:58:35.600 --> 00:58:38.132
Sister love surrounding
the premises

00:58:38.133 --> 00:58:41.032
with open heart and open mind.

00:58:41.033 --> 00:58:42.065
I am sick,

00:58:42.066 --> 00:58:45.066
but she is a nurse,
a real nurse.

00:58:46.433 --> 00:58:48.399
A moment in time
when I had forgotten

00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:50.833
where I came from,
but she hasn\'t,

00:58:50.834 --> 00:58:51.899
she reminds me

00:58:51.900 --> 00:58:54.900
of the government
cheese, eggs and spam,

00:58:55.233 --> 00:58:58.233
the smiles and
strength to go forward,

00:58:58.500 --> 00:59:01.500
to move forward,
to stay forward,

00:59:01.867 --> 00:59:04.867
up from this basement,

00:59:05.834 --> 00:59:08.632
from last, from lost,

00:59:08.633 --> 00:59:09.532
from last, from lost

00:59:09.533 --> 00:59:12.533
from lost poet to
Last Poet, once again

00:59:14.533 --> 00:59:15.999
she remembered how I was there

00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:18.299
for the family back in the day,

00:59:18.300 --> 00:59:20.833
the popcorn for
dinner, the spaghetti

00:59:20.834 --> 00:59:23.834
for holidays, the
tears instead of toys.

00:59:25.734 --> 00:59:28.734
Up from this basement,

00:59:29.700 --> 00:59:32.700
up from this basement,

00:59:33.300 --> 00:59:36.300
back to the children
I had left behind

00:59:37.166 --> 00:59:39.466
once again to walk with them,

00:59:39.467 --> 00:59:42.467
to speak with them,
to hold their hands,

00:59:43.734 --> 00:59:46.734
to try to soothe their
misguidance about me,

00:59:47.900 --> 00:59:50.366
hoping once again to
hear that treasured,

00:59:50.367 --> 00:59:53.367
honored word come
from their mouths,

00:59:56.500 --> 00:59:59.500
daddy.

00:59:59.900 --> 01:00:02.900
daddy?

01:00:04.767 --> 01:00:07.767
Daddy.

01:00:14.800 --> 01:00:17.800
Yeah, daddy.

01:00:30.333 --> 01:00:33.333
- [Woman] Here, take it.

01:00:50.133 --> 01:00:51.466
- Ah, here we go.

01:00:51.467 --> 01:00:53.299
- [Woman] She points at you.

01:00:53.300 --> 01:00:54.999
- Here we go.

01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:55.833
- [Woman] Go ahead.

01:00:55.834 --> 01:00:57.866
Go ahead, let me go.

01:00:57.867 --> 01:00:59.499
- Here comes granddaddy.

01:00:59.500 --> 01:01:02.500
Coming with me?

01:01:02.633 --> 01:01:03.466
Girl, look at this.

01:01:03.467 --> 01:01:04.632
We are here in the forest.

01:01:04.633 --> 01:01:07.633
All this green and nature.

01:01:08.100 --> 01:01:09.332
You see all that?

01:01:09.333 --> 01:01:10.999
Look at all that.

01:01:11.000 --> 01:01:12.599
Da, da, da, da.

01:01:12.600 --> 01:01:14.499
See, that\'s the nature.

01:01:14.500 --> 01:01:17.500
Say, granddaddy, that\'s
nature, Granddaddy.

01:01:18.166 --> 01:01:19.699
I love that green.

01:01:19.700 --> 01:01:22.432
See the leaves and
the trees and stuff?

01:01:22.433 --> 01:01:23.099
(baby cooing)

01:01:23.100 --> 01:01:26.100
Yeah, yeah, say, I
hear them sounds too.

01:01:27.900 --> 01:01:29.399
Do you hear the sounds?

01:01:29.400 --> 01:01:30.666
(imitating crunching)

01:01:30.667 --> 01:01:32.532
You hear those?

01:01:32.533 --> 01:01:33.799
Okay.

01:01:33.800 --> 01:01:34.466
All right.

01:01:34.467 --> 01:01:36.899
Let\'s go sit back
down with Mommy.

01:01:36.900 --> 01:01:39.900
(dramatic orchestral music)

01:01:55.300 --> 01:01:57.466
I imagined that I could hear

01:01:57.467 --> 01:02:00.467
the gentle fluid
tones of the trumpet,

01:02:00.567 --> 01:02:03.567
singing through the trees.

01:02:07.300 --> 01:02:09.866
I could smell the warm
scent of the pine trees.

01:02:09.867 --> 01:02:12.867
My father always went
to the woods alone.

01:02:17.300 --> 01:02:19.966
And if anybody spoke to him,

01:02:19.967 --> 01:02:21.265
he seemed not to hear them

01:02:21.266 --> 01:02:24.266
as though he had
forgotten where he was.

01:02:26.700 --> 01:02:28.399
Maybe he felt distractions

01:02:28.400 --> 01:02:29.332
when he was around people.

01:02:29.333 --> 01:02:31.599
The fact that he
had to be a father

01:02:31.600 --> 01:02:32.833
and that he had
to be responsible.

01:02:32.834 --> 01:02:35.834
But his main love and his
main source of creativity

01:02:36.734 --> 01:02:37.399
was his music.

01:02:37.400 --> 01:02:40.366
I can relate to the fact
that I got to go somewhere

01:02:40.367 --> 01:02:41.833
sometimes to write poetry

01:02:41.834 --> 01:02:43.899
because I want to
feel the inner self.

01:02:43.900 --> 01:02:46.065
I want to feel
the inner workings

01:02:46.066 --> 01:02:48.065
of what I\'m trying
to put together.

01:02:48.066 --> 01:02:49.499
And I don\'t need
to be distracted

01:02:49.500 --> 01:02:51.899
by a whole lot of people.

01:02:51.900 --> 01:02:54.900
You know?

01:03:00.166 --> 01:03:01.933
Remember when I first
came to live with you

01:03:01.934 --> 01:03:04.934
and Granddaddy would go out
and act crazy in the streets?

01:03:06.133 --> 01:03:08.566
Remember when I stayed
up on the top floor?

01:03:08.567 --> 01:03:09.499
I had been all messed up.

01:03:09.500 --> 01:03:11.799
You\'d be walking
around me telling me,

01:03:11.800 --> 01:03:13.866
\"Cuckoo gaga, Granddaddy.\"

01:03:13.867 --> 01:03:14.699
(laughing)

01:03:14.700 --> 01:03:15.766
\"Cuckoo gaga.

01:03:15.767 --> 01:03:16.999
I\'d be saying, wait a minute,

01:03:17.000 --> 01:03:20.000
is my grandson calling me crazy?

01:03:20.233 --> 01:03:21.032
Could you see then

01:03:21.033 --> 01:03:23.366
that Granddaddy had a problem?

01:03:23.367 --> 01:03:23.933
- No.

01:03:23.934 --> 01:03:24.833
- You couldn\'t see.

01:03:24.834 --> 01:03:26.199
But why were you
calling me cuckoo gaga?

01:03:26.200 --> 01:03:27.265
- I don\'t remember that.

01:03:27.266 --> 01:03:28.165
- Yeah, well, I do.

01:03:28.166 --> 01:03:29.999
You were calling me cuckoo gaga.

01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:33.000
You\'d be walking around like,
\"Cuckoo gaga, Grandaddy.\"

01:03:36.333 --> 01:03:39.032
I\'m saying, my grandson
is calling me crazy?

01:03:39.033 --> 01:03:41.899
And some would say, yep,
he\'s calling you crazy.

01:03:41.900 --> 01:03:42.866
He\'s looking at you.

01:03:42.867 --> 01:03:44.432
He can see you.

01:03:44.433 --> 01:03:46.599
- I see why I did it.

01:03:46.600 --> 01:03:47.632
I see why now.

01:03:47.633 --> 01:03:49.899
- You see why now?

01:03:49.900 --> 01:03:50.432
Why?

01:03:50.433 --> 01:03:51.532
Because you know I had a problem

01:03:51.533 --> 01:03:53.432
or there was going
to be a problem?

01:03:53.433 --> 01:03:55.399
- You\'re crazy now.

01:03:55.400 --> 01:03:57.632
- Granddaddy is trying
to not be crazy.

01:03:57.633 --> 01:03:59.633
I\'m trying to get better now.

01:03:59.633 --> 01:04:01.499
But yeah, it was deep.

01:04:01.500 --> 01:04:04.500
It was like you came here
just trying to help me,

01:04:05.834 --> 01:04:06.966
while I was supposed
to help you.

01:04:06.967 --> 01:04:08.165
We were helping each
other back then.

01:04:08.166 --> 01:04:10.232
I was helping you, you
were helping your granddad.

01:04:10.233 --> 01:04:13.233
Because that\'s when
I really started

01:04:13.400 --> 01:04:15.833
trying to get myself together.

01:04:15.834 --> 01:04:16.699
Because of you.

01:04:16.700 --> 01:04:18.032
I wanted to be much
better for you.

01:04:18.033 --> 01:04:21.033
(dramatic orchestral music)

01:04:34.600 --> 01:04:36.766
When we do grow up or we become

01:04:36.767 --> 01:04:38.999
successful as young black men

01:04:39.000 --> 01:04:40.599
we want to overcompensate.

01:04:40.600 --> 01:04:43.199
We just don\'t want to
feel good for ourselves

01:04:43.200 --> 01:04:44.766
we want to feel good
for our fathers and our

01:04:44.767 --> 01:04:47.199
grandfathers, all the
good feelings they missed.

01:04:47.200 --> 01:04:50.200
So therefore we do more
dope than anybody else,

01:04:50.433 --> 01:04:52.999
we get more pussy
than anybody else,

01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:55.065
we drive bigger cars.

01:04:55.066 --> 01:04:56.566
We overcompensate.

01:04:56.567 --> 01:04:58.199
I\'m guilty of that.

01:04:58.200 --> 01:04:59.733
I\'m guilty of that, and a whole

01:04:59.734 --> 01:05:01.666
bunch of other black
men are guilty of that.

01:05:01.667 --> 01:05:04.199
If you\'ve got a family,
you try to do your best

01:05:04.200 --> 01:05:04.866
for your family.

01:05:04.867 --> 01:05:07.867
That\'s why I came to Baltimore.

01:05:15.900 --> 01:05:18.900
- I never saw my dad
like that before.

01:05:19.200 --> 01:05:20.933
He was supposed to
go for a weekend

01:05:20.934 --> 01:05:22.866
and he\'s still there now.

01:05:22.867 --> 01:05:23.699
\"My granddaughter.

01:05:23.700 --> 01:05:25.165
\"Forget about it.\"

01:05:25.166 --> 01:05:26.699
It\'s his joy.

01:05:26.700 --> 01:05:29.700
It\'s the fruits of his labor.

01:05:34.333 --> 01:05:36.566
- I don\'t believe it\'s
entirely selfless.

01:05:36.567 --> 01:05:39.567
There\'s definitely some
nourishment in it for him.

01:05:46.834 --> 01:05:48.032
- There was a little boy here.

01:05:48.033 --> 01:05:48.699
Even though her

01:05:48.700 --> 01:05:51.700
husband Yusef was leaving,
he was still here.

01:05:51.767 --> 01:05:54.733
So there had to be a
man in this household

01:05:54.734 --> 01:05:57.734
for that little boy.

01:06:02.166 --> 01:06:05.166
- [Boy] What are
you doing out here?

01:06:05.533 --> 01:06:06.599
- Just chilling.

01:06:06.600 --> 01:06:07.699
Just taking it easy.

01:06:07.700 --> 01:06:09.265
Why?

01:06:09.266 --> 01:06:12.232
Shoeshine, shoeshine,
can\'t be beat,

01:06:12.233 --> 01:06:15.233
shoeshine, shoeshine,
give your soul a treat.

01:06:16.500 --> 01:06:17.165
- What is that?

01:06:17.166 --> 01:06:19.666
- That\'s a poem I made
up when I was competing

01:06:19.667 --> 01:06:20.599
in the shoeshine business

01:06:20.600 --> 01:06:22.866
with a fellow
shoeshine competitor

01:06:22.867 --> 01:06:24.499
by the name of Mitchell Linzy.

01:06:24.500 --> 01:06:26.265
It taught me how to
become dependent on myself

01:06:26.266 --> 01:06:28.899
and not to depend
on anybody else,

01:06:28.900 --> 01:06:31.399
not to welfare,
not the community.

01:06:31.400 --> 01:06:33.933
It taught me how to
look out for myself,

01:06:33.934 --> 01:06:35.132
depend on me, you know,

01:06:35.133 --> 01:06:36.566
so that way I didn\'t
need to ask anybody

01:06:36.567 --> 01:06:39.567
for anything or be grudged
or owe anybody anything.

01:06:41.633 --> 01:06:43.099
It just taught me how
to look out for myself

01:06:43.100 --> 01:06:46.065
and to look out and
take care of myself.

01:06:46.066 --> 01:06:49.066
(dramatic orchestral music)

01:06:51.500 --> 01:06:54.500
- Think back to your past
and how that made you

01:06:54.734 --> 01:06:57.734
feel as a man when your
father wasn\'t there

01:06:57.934 --> 01:07:00.934
and that\'s what you have
to do differently now

01:07:01.166 --> 01:07:03.199
in your life with your kids.

01:07:03.200 --> 01:07:06.200
Luckily for him he is
kind of getting a second

01:07:06.400 --> 01:07:09.400
chance with raising
his grandkids.

01:07:10.133 --> 01:07:11.432
A lot of people don\'t get that.

01:07:11.433 --> 01:07:12.933
- I know that, I know that.

01:07:12.934 --> 01:07:14.299
- A lot of people would have,

01:07:14.300 --> 01:07:17.300
\"You can\'t be around my kids.\"

01:07:22.633 --> 01:07:25.199
- [Umar] Why did you ask
me about a girlfriend?

01:07:25.200 --> 01:07:27.366
You\'ve got a girlfriend?

01:07:27.367 --> 01:07:28.265
- [Boy] Yes.

01:07:28.266 --> 01:07:29.532
- Do you?

01:07:29.533 --> 01:07:30.933
What\'s her name?

01:07:30.934 --> 01:07:32.099
- [Boy] Niah.

01:07:32.100 --> 01:07:32.933
- [Umar] Huh?

01:07:32.934 --> 01:07:33.599
- [Boy] Niah.

01:07:33.600 --> 01:07:35.666
- Is that the picture
you\'re always showing me?

01:07:35.667 --> 01:07:36.432
- [Boy] Yeah.

01:07:36.433 --> 01:07:39.065
- [Umar] She goes
to another school?

01:07:39.066 --> 01:07:42.066
- [Boy] She went to my camp.

01:07:43.100 --> 01:07:43.899
- [Umar] That\'s right.

01:07:43.900 --> 01:07:45.265
You\'re going to a
different school this year.

01:07:45.266 --> 01:07:45.933
- [Boy] Yeah.

01:07:45.934 --> 01:07:46.933
- [Umar] So, are
you going to try

01:07:46.934 --> 01:07:47.866
to keep in contact with her?

01:07:47.867 --> 01:07:50.867
Oh, you\'ve all got those
iPhones and all that.

01:07:52.734 --> 01:07:55.734
All right, we\'ll see.

01:07:59.000 --> 01:08:02.000
One mile.

01:08:12.033 --> 01:08:12.966
You\'ve got to be real careful

01:08:12.967 --> 01:08:15.099
about what you do
out here with women.

01:08:15.100 --> 01:08:18.100
You\'ve got to make sure
you protect yourself.

01:08:21.200 --> 01:08:22.432
You hear me?

01:08:22.433 --> 01:08:23.265
- [Boy] Yeah.

01:08:23.266 --> 01:08:23.933
- Yeah, you do.

01:08:23.934 --> 01:08:26.934
You\'ve got to make sure
you protect yourself.

01:08:48.934 --> 01:08:51.934
- That\'s enough.

01:09:15.300 --> 01:09:18.300
This was something.

01:09:18.667 --> 01:09:21.667
- Oh, boy.

01:09:22.633 --> 01:09:25.099
Come on, man.

01:09:25.100 --> 01:09:27.399
(coughing)

01:09:27.400 --> 01:09:28.933
Give me the ball.

01:09:28.934 --> 01:09:30.332
Three to one, right?

01:09:30.333 --> 01:09:33.333
- [Boy] Yeah.

01:09:33.633 --> 01:09:36.499
- Oooh.

01:09:36.500 --> 01:09:39.399
Ah, I\'m going to catch you now.

01:09:39.400 --> 01:09:42.400
Watch me.

01:09:42.834 --> 01:09:45.834
- [Boy] Stay out my face.

01:09:46.400 --> 01:09:47.232
- Come on, man.

01:09:47.233 --> 01:09:49.165
Take your time.

01:09:49.166 --> 01:09:50.099
Okay, three, two.

01:09:50.100 --> 01:09:51.632
One more, three, three.

01:09:51.633 --> 01:09:52.432
- [Boy] Three, three?

01:09:52.433 --> 01:09:53.532
Come on, give me the ball.

01:09:53.533 --> 01:09:54.632
Give it, man.

01:09:54.633 --> 01:09:57.633
Three to two.

01:09:59.567 --> 01:10:01.265
Watch out, watch out.

01:10:01.266 --> 01:10:02.466
- You\'ve got this.

01:10:02.467 --> 01:10:05.467
You\'ve got this.

01:10:06.233 --> 01:10:07.466
- Oh, did it.

01:10:07.467 --> 01:10:10.467
(dramatic orchestral music)

01:11:04.100 --> 01:11:07.100
(siren wailing)

01:11:34.066 --> 01:11:37.066
(camera shutter clicking)

01:11:38.800 --> 01:11:40.432
- And he says,
some point he says,

01:11:40.433 --> 01:11:43.433
\"You should know better
than to be with those guys.\"

01:11:48.066 --> 01:11:51.066
- Long way from home,
so close to love,

01:11:51.433 --> 01:11:54.433
the spirit wants
to move, my mind,

01:11:54.433 --> 01:11:56.165
frozen in worthless flesh,

01:11:56.166 --> 01:11:59.166
back from the dead
by God\'s mercy,

01:11:59.467 --> 01:12:02.199
leaving the devil
standing in the pain,

01:12:02.200 --> 01:12:02.999
leaving the pain alone.

01:12:03.000 --> 01:12:06.000
I give my peace to the
right and to the left.

01:12:06.000 --> 01:12:09.000
Good has become a kind
and loving companion.

01:12:09.834 --> 01:12:11.699
Bad was only a test of faith.

01:12:11.700 --> 01:12:14.700
I now find strength,
I now find strength

01:12:15.433 --> 01:12:17.566
in the humility of this moment,

01:12:17.567 --> 01:12:20.032
this eternal moment of peace,

01:12:20.033 --> 01:12:23.033
to all of those who
come to understand

01:12:23.867 --> 01:12:25.332
that Bob is love

01:12:25.333 --> 01:12:28.333
and love is all you
are and ever will be.

01:12:34.066 --> 01:12:37.066
(light jazz music)

01:12:54.033 --> 01:12:57.033
Lingering at my
thoughts of the past.

01:12:57.800 --> 01:12:58.999
Where was that hand

01:12:59.000 --> 01:13:02.000
that I yearned so
much to meet mine,

01:13:02.233 --> 01:13:04.999
to guide me, to share with me,

01:13:05.000 --> 01:13:07.666
to love me, to disappoint me,

01:13:07.667 --> 01:13:10.667
to discipline me, to forgive me,

01:13:10.934 --> 01:13:13.366
to hold me, to protect me

01:13:13.367 --> 01:13:15.265
from those other hands

01:13:15.266 --> 01:13:17.632
that want to demonize me,

01:13:17.633 --> 01:13:20.599
to abuse me, to corrupt me,

01:13:20.600 --> 01:13:23.232
to incarcerate me,

01:13:23.233 --> 01:13:24.299
to devalue me.

01:13:24.300 --> 01:13:27.300
A father\'s hand, so
important in the beginning,

01:13:28.333 --> 01:13:29.666
so full of strength.

01:13:29.667 --> 01:13:31.733
So secure, so supportive,

01:13:31.734 --> 01:13:34.566
so important for the future,

01:13:34.567 --> 01:13:37.567
to believe that hand
will always be there,

01:13:38.900 --> 01:13:41.900
for suggestions and information,

01:13:42.333 --> 01:13:45.333
that my hand will
reach out to my sons,

01:13:45.800 --> 01:13:48.800
for guidance,
strength, and love.