00:00:00.666 --> 00:00:01.300
...

00:00:07.066 --> 00:00:08.366
♪♪♪

00:00:08.400 --> 00:00:11.100
Laura Murray: Women have very
different pathways to crime,

00:00:11.133 --> 00:00:14.766
and those pathways are
rooted in trauma.

00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:19.800
I feel like a survivor is a
trauma, and being a formerly

00:00:19.833 --> 00:00:23.466
incarcerated woman, my focus
is I wanna change policy,

00:00:23.500 --> 00:00:26.166
and that's where
I get so driven.

00:00:26.200 --> 00:00:36.200
♪♪♪

00:00:39.166 --> 00:00:49.133
♪♪♪

00:00:49.166 --> 00:00:59.133
♪♪♪

00:00:59.166 --> 00:01:09.133
♪♪♪

00:01:09.166 --> 00:01:15.333
♪♪♪

00:01:15.366 --> 00:01:16.700
Laura: So did everybody
get the e-mail

00:01:16.733 --> 00:01:20.100
that I sent out last night?

00:01:20.133 --> 00:01:23.600
So, in that, I am
formally incarcerated.

00:01:23.633 --> 00:01:26.633
I was a former
serial bank robber.

00:01:26.666 --> 00:01:30.966
Yes, your professor
is a bank robber.

00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:33.700
I don't define myself
by that moment.

00:01:33.733 --> 00:01:36.466
That was a mistake, and I did
five years in federal prison

00:01:36.500 --> 00:01:38.366
and eight years in state prison.

00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:41.800
After going to these prisons,
I saw that there was a lot of

00:01:41.833 --> 00:01:46.400
social injustice and
a lot of inequity.

00:01:46.433 --> 00:01:48.200
That's my purpose in being here.

00:01:48.233 --> 00:01:51.366
I love sociology because those
institutions have to do with

00:01:51.400 --> 00:01:55.533
those social injustices
and inequities, and I'm very

00:01:55.566 --> 00:01:57.666
passionate about it.

00:01:57.700 --> 00:01:59.466
You guys are a great class.

00:01:59.500 --> 00:02:02.366
Thank you so much for going
along with that, and I love

00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:05.666
studying with you
guys, so thanks.

00:02:05.700 --> 00:02:09.266
[students applauding]

00:02:09.300 --> 00:02:10.699
Laura: And if you have any
questions,

00:02:10.733 --> 00:02:13.466
feel free to e-mail me, see me
after class, whatever.

00:02:13.500 --> 00:02:16.633
You know, I want you guys to
succeed and find your passion

00:02:16.666 --> 00:02:18.666
here like I found mine.

00:02:18.800 --> 00:02:21.233
Laura: After federal prison,
I got out,

00:02:21.266 --> 00:02:23.433
started to work full time.

00:02:23.466 --> 00:02:25.600
I was doin' really good, and it
seemed like everything

00:02:25.633 --> 00:02:27.766
was going well.

00:02:27.800 --> 00:02:32.466
Then the financial crisis hit,
2007, 2008, 2009, and my house

00:02:32.500 --> 00:02:34.166
began to get foreclosed on.

00:02:34.200 --> 00:02:36.533
I ended up living in my car.

00:02:36.566 --> 00:02:39.933
I really hadn't gained that many
skills, life skills,

00:02:39.966 --> 00:02:44.466
as far as staying out and
rehabilitation, and things went

00:02:44.500 --> 00:02:45.900
from bad to worse.

00:02:45.933 --> 00:02:49.100
So I just decided to write a
note on the back of a Burger

00:02:49.133 --> 00:02:51.933
King napkin and walk into
a bank and rob that bank.

00:02:51.966 --> 00:02:54.466
And after I robbed that bank, I
robbed another bank and another

00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:56.366
bank and another bank.

00:02:56.400 --> 00:02:58.366
Of course, by the time they
caught me, I was looking at

00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.900
a lengthy prison sentence.

00:03:00.933 --> 00:03:04.800
I was sentenced.
I was lucky I fought my case.

00:03:04.833 --> 00:03:08.833
I stayed in county for a while
and finally ended up with an

00:03:08.866 --> 00:03:12.866
eight-year sentence, which
I was very fortunate to get.

00:03:12.900 --> 00:03:22.866
♪♪♪

00:03:22.900 --> 00:03:32.866
♪♪♪

00:03:32.900 --> 00:03:34.866
♪♪♪

00:03:34.900 --> 00:03:36.200
Isabella Quevedo: I love
being here though.

00:03:36.233 --> 00:03:39.066
It's a great school.
Like, I love the campus.

00:03:39.100 --> 00:03:42.533
The course load isn't heavy
because community college really

00:03:42.566 --> 00:03:46.466
did--it prepared me, and
I'm really grateful for them.

00:03:46.500 --> 00:03:48.900
The only difference is, like,
kind of keeping accountability

00:03:48.933 --> 00:03:50.266
on myself.

00:03:50.300 --> 00:03:53.233
It's like, "Am I eating well?
Am I sleeping?

00:03:53.266 --> 00:03:58.166
Am I spending too much
on my phone, scrolling?"

00:03:58.200 --> 00:03:59.800
What am I getting them?

00:03:59.833 --> 00:04:03.300
Can't even think.

00:04:03.333 --> 00:04:08.233
Mm, so it's self-care,
matched with,

00:04:08.266 --> 00:04:10.566
like, your responsibilities.

00:04:10.600 --> 00:04:13.233
My responsibilities are always
going to be there, but if I

00:04:13.266 --> 00:04:16.800
choose to go about them
in an unhealthy way, that

00:04:16.833 --> 00:04:18.800
responsibility lays on me.

00:04:18.833 --> 00:04:22.300
I'm--you know, I can't
blame the--I mean, I could.

00:04:22.333 --> 00:04:25.966
We could blame society and
the systems of oppression, but

00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:28.000
that's why we're working
towards changing them.

00:04:36.400 --> 00:04:37.966
Ezra: I want you
to hang that one up.

00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:39.500
Isabella: Okay,
I'll hang it up. Thank you.

00:04:39.533 --> 00:04:41.366
Ezra: That side.
Isabella: Okay.

00:04:41.400 --> 00:04:43.066
Isabella: I have two
children.

00:04:43.100 --> 00:04:44.900
Ezra is nine.

00:04:44.933 --> 00:04:47.666
He was born in--he'll
be ten in December.

00:04:47.700 --> 00:04:49.900
Giuliana is five.

00:04:49.933 --> 00:04:55.333
So Ezra came about from
an abusive relationship.

00:04:55.366 --> 00:04:58.866
I was 19 years old.
He was 25.

00:04:58.900 --> 00:05:03.633
So I got Ezra as a present
for my 21st birthday.

00:05:03.666 --> 00:05:05.000
I was 21 years old.

00:05:05.033 --> 00:05:07.600
I had just dropped out of Cal
State Fullerton, moved back

00:05:07.633 --> 00:05:16.866
home, and I was like,
"Surprise, I have a baby."

00:05:16.900 --> 00:05:19.766
And, unfortunately, I didn't
know how to set my boundaries

00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:26.966
still with his father and
continued with that relationship

00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:31.533
because I thought it
would be ideal for the child.

00:05:31.566 --> 00:05:38.066
So we--I endure another two
years of, like, emotional abuse,

00:05:38.100 --> 00:05:43.666
severe emotional abuse,
which turned into physical abuse

00:05:43.700 --> 00:05:46.766
because there's only
so much you can take.

00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.466
Isabella: Okay, come on.

00:05:48.500 --> 00:05:49.966
I'll wait.

00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:52.600
I still have a
bunch of stuff in here.

00:05:52.633 --> 00:05:59.566
Isabella: Oh,
I'm ready for a nap.

00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:01.266
Ezra: Why'd you take a nap?

00:06:01.300 --> 00:06:04.000
Isabella: I couldn't.
I have too much to do.

00:06:04.033 --> 00:06:05.433
Giuliana: You can
take a nap on the couch.

00:06:05.466 --> 00:06:07.466
Isabella: I have too much
to do.

00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:24.300
Isabella: And when I do get
with the kids, I look at them

00:06:24.333 --> 00:06:27.166
face-to-face when I'm
communicating with them.

00:06:27.200 --> 00:06:30.633
I try and always be clear with
my communication in being like,

00:06:30.666 --> 00:06:32.366
"I'm really tired.

00:06:32.400 --> 00:06:35.866
I cannot have any
screaming on our way home."

00:06:35.900 --> 00:06:39.433
Like, whatever little energy
have left is drained in that one

00:06:39.466 --> 00:06:46.700
30-minute drive.

00:06:46.733 --> 00:06:48.266
Isabella: Here we go.

00:06:48.300 --> 00:06:49.600
Giuliana:
Daddy's turn today.

00:06:49.633 --> 00:06:51.100
Isabella: Okay,
it's time for bath--

00:06:51.133 --> 00:06:52.766
Ezra: You needed to--

00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:55.900
Isabella: --'cause
I'm ready to go to sleep.

00:06:55.933 --> 00:06:57.966
Ezra: Can I use your
phone and then go to sleep?

00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:00.000
Isabella: It's always,
like, I'm always learning.

00:07:00.033 --> 00:07:03.000
I'm learning knowledge and
learning how to be a student,

00:07:03.033 --> 00:07:05.333
but I'm also learning
how to be a parent.

00:07:05.366 --> 00:07:08.700
And when you're a parent, you're
automatically placed in this

00:07:08.733 --> 00:07:12.633
position of, like, these bad
behaviors or bad habits are

00:07:12.666 --> 00:07:15.933
coming up in your children
because they're yours, and you

00:07:15.966 --> 00:07:17.500
cannot ignore them anymore.

00:07:17.533 --> 00:07:20.000
There's no more ignoring them,
no more deflecting

00:07:20.033 --> 00:07:21.633
or blaming others.

00:07:21.666 --> 00:07:24.366
It's time to really head on.

00:07:24.400 --> 00:07:34.366
♪♪♪

00:07:34.400 --> 00:07:44.366
♪♪♪

00:07:44.400 --> 00:07:54.400
♪♪♪

00:07:55.333 --> 00:07:59.533
Laura: Spend a few nights
on couch surfing over here.

00:07:59.566 --> 00:08:03.233
I mean, in this town,
you're really never homeless.

00:08:03.266 --> 00:08:06.333
There's always somebody's couch.

00:08:06.366 --> 00:08:09.200
Look at this.

00:08:09.233 --> 00:08:14.800
I think I've actually
stayed in that trailer.

00:08:14.833 --> 00:08:18.366
It was a trailer near the end.

00:08:18.400 --> 00:08:20.166
I do remember that.

00:08:20.200 --> 00:08:23.733
So my friend and I were goin'
along this street right here

00:08:23.766 --> 00:08:27.366
and--on our skateboards, and she
went slidin' around the corner

00:08:27.400 --> 00:08:29.700
and hit a rock or somethin' and
broke her arm on this--right on

00:08:29.733 --> 00:08:31.600
that corner.

00:08:31.633 --> 00:08:33.299
I don't know why I
laughed so hard.

00:08:33.333 --> 00:08:35.000
She was so mad.

00:08:35.033 --> 00:08:38.633
So we would start up here on
Fourth Street and take our

00:08:38.666 --> 00:08:43.066
skateboards and bomb
this hill right here.

00:08:43.100 --> 00:08:46.966
The beach is right there.

00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:52.300
But you have to be very careful
to turn very sharp at the end

00:08:52.333 --> 00:08:57.400
because, if you don't, then
you flew over the height.

00:08:57.433 --> 00:09:02.866
Yeah, it was good times.

00:09:02.900 --> 00:09:05.833
Yeah, so this is Moonlight.

00:09:05.866 --> 00:09:10.166
This is where--down that way is
D Street, which is the really

00:09:10.200 --> 00:09:14.000
nice local's beach.

00:09:14.033 --> 00:09:24.033
[background chatter]

00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:31.233
Laura: You know, my mother
was a librarian for city schools

00:09:31.266 --> 00:09:32.866
for 26 years.

00:09:32.900 --> 00:09:35.566
You know, my father worked
in aerospace engineering.

00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:40.800
So academics was huge, but I
feel like they were so busy

00:09:40.833 --> 00:09:47.200
working all the time that I may
not have had the direction that

00:09:47.233 --> 00:09:51.500
I felt that I really needed, and
since they worked, I had a lot

00:09:51.533 --> 00:09:52.866
of free time.

00:09:52.900 --> 00:09:54.200
You know, everybody smoked weed.

00:09:54.233 --> 00:09:57.000
We all surfed, you know, and I
just got into that culture of

00:09:57.033 --> 00:10:00.866
drugs, and then also, I believe,
you know, that I'm an addict.

00:10:00.900 --> 00:10:04.566
So getting in that culture of
drugs, it's one thing to be

00:10:04.600 --> 00:10:07.066
exposed to like some of my
friends were, and then they kept

00:10:07.100 --> 00:10:10.066
on going to school and kept on
going to college, but I didn't.

00:10:10.100 --> 00:10:12.133
I got exposed to it.
I got immersed in it.

00:10:12.166 --> 00:10:14.933
And, again, my folks were so
busy working that they--by the

00:10:14.966 --> 00:10:17.000
time they realized what was
happening,

00:10:17.033 --> 00:10:18.700
it was pretty much too late.

00:10:18.733 --> 00:10:20.633
You know, I was
in full rebellion.

00:10:20.666 --> 00:10:23.533
I was a full-blown addict, you
know, and there wasn't really

00:10:23.566 --> 00:10:25.433
a lot that they could do.

00:10:25.466 --> 00:10:27.166
I mean, college was
out of the question.

00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:29.500
They were just trying to stop
me from self-destructing at that

00:10:29.533 --> 00:10:32.100
point, you know.

00:10:32.133 --> 00:10:37.000
I had my son when I was still a
teenager, so things were shifted

00:10:37.033 --> 00:10:40.000
to raising him and getting him
in the best schools like the Del

00:10:40.033 --> 00:10:44.433
Mar School District, and then,
when he was older, I had gotten

00:10:44.466 --> 00:10:46.466
into drugs more heavily.

00:10:46.500 --> 00:10:49.600
He started living with my
parents when he was in his

00:10:49.633 --> 00:10:55.266
mid-teens, and I just kind of
went off the deep end with drugs

00:10:55.300 --> 00:10:57.733
and drug trafficking and that
entire lifestyle

00:10:57.766 --> 00:10:59.600
that surrounds drugs.

00:10:59.633 --> 00:11:02.566
I began working for a cartel,
which I didn't even really know

00:11:02.600 --> 00:11:08.266
it was a cartel until I was
deeply, deeply involved in it,

00:11:08.300 --> 00:11:12.200
and I was indicted federally,
and I would receive one of the

00:11:12.233 --> 00:11:14.633
largest sentences out of--I
received the longest sentence

00:11:14.666 --> 00:11:17.200
out of all the females because
of my deep involvement in that

00:11:17.233 --> 00:11:18.533
cartel.

00:11:18.566 --> 00:11:22.200
My son, by then, was an adult,
over the age of 18, and I was

00:11:22.233 --> 00:11:23.933
sent to federal prison.

00:11:23.966 --> 00:11:30.066
♪♪♪

00:11:30.100 --> 00:11:31.966
Laura: And then you get
out of prison, and you're like,

00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:34.566
"Hey, where's so-and-so?
Where's so-and-so?"

00:11:34.600 --> 00:11:37.000
"They're dead."

00:11:37.033 --> 00:11:40.466
Especially my friends, they
all died of overdoses or died

00:11:40.500 --> 00:11:48.366
a violent death during drug
trafficking, and it's kind of a

00:11:48.400 --> 00:11:50.766
strange realization, you know,
when you realize you're,

00:11:50.800 --> 00:11:53.033
like, one of the only
ones still standing.

00:11:53.066 --> 00:12:03.033
♪♪♪

00:12:03.066 --> 00:12:08.666
♪♪♪

00:12:30.900 --> 00:12:33.733
Isabella: Get up, get
up, get up.

00:12:33.766 --> 00:12:35.466
We're not gonna make it
to the grocery store.

00:12:35.500 --> 00:12:37.100
Come on.

00:12:37.133 --> 00:12:38.433
Ezra: -- one minute.

00:12:38.466 --> 00:12:40.033
Isabella: Come on.
Come here.

00:12:40.066 --> 00:12:41.600
Ezra: One more minute.

00:12:41.633 --> 00:12:43.666
Isabella: Oh, yai-yai.

00:12:43.700 --> 00:12:45.600
Come here, Lady.
Come here, Lady.

00:12:45.633 --> 00:12:48.066
Come here.
Come on.

00:12:48.100 --> 00:12:52.133
Isabella: You don't
wanna wear your sweatpants?

00:12:52.166 --> 00:12:53.666
Hello?

00:12:53.700 --> 00:12:55.100
Ezra: Not really.

00:12:55.133 --> 00:12:56.433
Isabella: Not really?

00:12:56.466 --> 00:13:00.633
All right, I'm gonna get Giuli.

00:13:00.666 --> 00:13:04.100
Isabella: To make a very long
story short, what ended up,

00:13:04.133 --> 00:13:09.000
me being incarcerated, was
because I was baited.

00:13:09.033 --> 00:13:13.133
He kept us inside of his
apartment,

00:13:13.166 --> 00:13:14.933
and he covered his ears,

00:13:14.966 --> 00:13:16.866
and he just allowed me
to make a ruckus,

00:13:16.900 --> 00:13:18.266
and I made a ruckus.

00:13:18.300 --> 00:13:22.966
I reacted, like--I completely
take responsibility for that.

00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:24.566
I made a ruckus.

00:13:24.600 --> 00:13:27.000
And while I was in jail and
incarcerated in Long Beach

00:13:27.033 --> 00:13:33.833
during those three days in 2013,
I missed my birth control,

00:13:33.866 --> 00:13:36.833
and June of 2014, my
daughter was born.

00:13:51.133 --> 00:13:53.033
Isabella:
[speaking foreign language]

00:13:53.066 --> 00:13:55.266
Shoes?
Shoes.

00:13:55.300 --> 00:13:59.000
Look at how easy it was to
get changed this morning.

00:13:59.033 --> 00:14:00.500
Shoes.

00:14:00.533 --> 00:14:02.866
Let's go brush your hair.
Come on.

00:14:02.900 --> 00:14:05.833
Isabella: Around your head
and neck, I'm not--oy, yoi, yoi,

00:14:05.866 --> 00:14:07.266
this is falling apart.

00:14:07.300 --> 00:14:09.766
I got it.
I got it.

00:14:09.800 --> 00:14:11.166
Giuliana: Grandma's better.

00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:12.733
Isabella:
Grandma's more better?

00:14:12.766 --> 00:14:18.033
Giuliana: Yes.
Isabella: Yeah, she is.

00:14:18.066 --> 00:14:19.566
Isabella: Do
you want breakfast?

00:14:19.600 --> 00:14:21.100
Giuliana: Yes.

00:14:21.133 --> 00:14:24.333
Isabella: Okay,
Lady's waiting for her walk.

00:14:24.366 --> 00:14:26.600
Go take Lady.
Lady, go on a walk.

00:14:26.633 --> 00:14:28.300
It's not time for you to eat.

00:14:28.333 --> 00:14:34.433
Go.
It's not time for you to eat.

00:14:34.466 --> 00:14:36.500
Isabella: Ai, yai, yai.

00:14:36.533 --> 00:14:39.433
Isabella: So
Giuli was born in June.

00:14:39.466 --> 00:14:44.066
The supposed crime, my
crime, happened in September.

00:14:44.100 --> 00:14:48.733
We go to trial in
August of 2014.

00:14:48.766 --> 00:14:50.733
I'm eight weeks postpartum.

00:14:50.766 --> 00:14:54.800
I'm still, like--have, you know,
when you give birth,

00:14:54.833 --> 00:14:58.766
you're still, you know,
you're still birthing.

00:14:58.800 --> 00:15:02.066
Whatever happened in there,
you're still leaking milk.

00:15:02.100 --> 00:15:05.400
Your hormones and everything
is--and I'm standing trial

00:15:05.433 --> 00:15:08.066
for a week, going daily.

00:15:08.100 --> 00:15:11.733
They wanted to charge me with
three counts of felony assault.

00:15:11.766 --> 00:15:15.966
I'd never gotten a single
parking ticket in my life, and

00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:22.566
they wanted to just slap felony
assault on me like nothing.

00:15:22.600 --> 00:15:26.433
Ooh, I still shake,
like, thinking about it.

00:15:28.933 --> 00:15:31.266
Isabella: Did you
bring your jacket?

00:15:51.733 --> 00:15:56.633
Isabella: Here, Giuli.

00:15:56.666 --> 00:15:58.666
I love you.

00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:26.066
Isabella: One thing I've
learned is that, a lot of times

00:16:26.100 --> 00:16:31.400
in the past, when I would have
time to myself, I would still be

00:16:31.433 --> 00:16:32.833
stressed out.

00:16:32.866 --> 00:16:35.700
I would just be spending time
by myself, being stressed, and

00:16:35.733 --> 00:16:39.366
then, so, when I would go with
the kids, I would just be--you

00:16:39.400 --> 00:16:41.666
know, I wouldn't rest.

00:16:41.700 --> 00:16:44.866
So I had to learn how to rest,
and that's kind of like what

00:16:44.900 --> 00:16:46.266
I've been doing here.

00:16:46.300 --> 00:16:48.400
So that's why I come to--even
though I don't have class, I

00:16:48.433 --> 00:16:52.266
still come on campus 'cause it
still feels like, "Okay, I have

00:16:52.300 --> 00:16:54.900
some order," 'cause if I don't
come here, everything is just

00:16:54.933 --> 00:16:58.066
like--but I don't know.

00:16:58.100 --> 00:17:02.733
Also, like, my major, urban
studies, kind of has, like, a

00:17:02.766 --> 00:17:06.633
city planning thing behind it,
so I can go into, like,

00:17:06.666 --> 00:17:08.366
city planning, politics.

00:17:08.400 --> 00:17:10.333
Like, that's why
I like my major.

00:17:10.366 --> 00:17:14.200
It kind of just opens up
all--it's very broad,

00:17:14.233 --> 00:17:15.766
but I don't know.

00:17:15.800 --> 00:17:17.266
I really don't know.

00:17:17.300 --> 00:17:20.200
My dream--and I don't know how
I'll ever do this, but my dream

00:17:20.233 --> 00:17:24.700
is to, like, rewrite legislation
so preschool is universal.

00:17:24.733 --> 00:17:27.599
Like, that's my ultimate, you
know, like, that's the light at

00:17:27.633 --> 00:17:31.466
the end of the
tunnel if we can rewrite.

00:17:31.500 --> 00:17:36.666
Go to Congress and say, "Hey,
every single little baby who is

00:17:36.700 --> 00:17:42.566
born is entitled to preschool
for free, no matter what.

00:17:42.600 --> 00:17:45.266
Like, women and children are my
passion,

00:17:45.300 --> 00:17:48.533
but it's the balance of, like,
pursing your passion

00:17:48.566 --> 00:17:52.866
and also having,
like, a sustainable life.

00:17:52.900 --> 00:17:56.300
I'm trying to, like, fight
constant sadness,

00:17:56.333 --> 00:18:01.400
so that's where I'm
at now with me.

00:18:01.433 --> 00:18:04.500
It's getting better though,
I think, coming to school

00:18:04.533 --> 00:18:06.933
and staying focused.

00:18:06.966 --> 00:18:09.633
The kids keep me busy, but,
yeah, sometimes when

00:18:09.666 --> 00:18:13.900
there's quiet time,
it's hard to, like,

00:18:13.933 --> 00:18:18.500
stay on this plane and not
revert back to wherever it was.

00:18:33.466 --> 00:18:35.900
Laura: Same as out here,
you build a network of friends,

00:18:35.933 --> 00:18:38.666
whoever you hung out with out
here and whoever you gravitated

00:18:38.700 --> 00:18:40.133
with out here.

00:18:40.166 --> 00:18:42.833
Whatever you liked out here,
that's who you're gonna hang out

00:18:42.866 --> 00:18:44.233
there.

00:18:44.266 --> 00:18:49.100
I was into education, so I hung
out with the people that wanted

00:18:49.133 --> 00:18:52.933
to improve their life through
education, so I took a test when

00:18:52.966 --> 00:18:56.366
I first got onto
the reception yard.

00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:01.100
So I took the test, and I handed
him back the book, and then the

00:19:01.133 --> 00:19:03.433
education coordinator, who I
didn't know who she was at the

00:19:03.466 --> 00:19:07.533
time, came out and
asked me if I had guessed.

00:19:07.566 --> 00:19:10.266
I told her, "No, I didn't
guess on the questions.

00:19:10.300 --> 00:19:11.600
Why?"

00:19:11.633 --> 00:19:14.333
She said, "When you get over the
wall, which is on the main line,

00:19:14.366 --> 00:19:17.466
I want you to come work
for me as a teacher's aide."

00:19:17.500 --> 00:19:22.033
Soon as I got over the wall, I
started my job assignments, and

00:19:22.066 --> 00:19:25.800
I worked for the vocational--I
was a vocational teacher's aide.

00:19:27.966 --> 00:19:30.166
Laura: So, and this
covered Criminal Justice--

00:19:30.200 --> 00:19:31.700
female: So it could be
any of the 3GE expirations?

00:19:31.733 --> 00:19:33.266
Laura: Yeah.

00:19:33.300 --> 00:19:34.866
female: It could just
be whichever one you need?

00:19:34.900 --> 00:19:36.200
Laura: And this covered
Criminal Justice, Latin American

00:19:36.233 --> 00:19:38.600
Studies, Poli Sci,
Public Admin, and Sociology.

00:19:38.633 --> 00:19:42.900
The minute you parole, go to the
passport office up here in San

00:19:42.933 --> 00:19:45.400
Diego State, right
by parking lot 12.

00:19:45.433 --> 00:19:47.266
female: But I'm not gonna be
able to 'cause I'm on parole.

00:19:47.300 --> 00:19:49.000
Laura: Yeah, you could
still--I got my passport on

00:19:49.033 --> 00:19:50.666
parole too.

00:19:50.700 --> 00:19:52.633
Laura: And then the education
coordinator, she's like, "So

00:19:52.666 --> 00:19:54.200
what's your deal anyway, Murray?

00:19:54.233 --> 00:19:56.100
Well, what's your deal?
What do you wanna do?"

00:19:56.133 --> 00:19:58.266
And in my head, I'm thinking,
"Well, you know,

00:19:58.300 --> 00:20:00.533
I'm in my early 50s.

00:20:00.566 --> 00:20:03.066
Nobody really
cared too much before.

00:20:03.100 --> 00:20:05.500
They don't care in prison, so
nobody really cared too much

00:20:05.533 --> 00:20:08.400
what I wanted to do, you know?

00:20:08.433 --> 00:20:10.433
I'm older.
I have a bad record.

00:20:10.466 --> 00:20:13.033
I've had two
prison terms, you know?

00:20:13.066 --> 00:20:15.600
So I was taken aback by that
question, and then I thought

00:20:15.633 --> 00:20:17.133
about it, and I was like,
"Well, I wanna finish

00:20:17.166 --> 00:20:18.666
my undergrad degree.

00:20:18.700 --> 00:20:21.366
More than anything, I've been
tryin' to finish it for the past

00:20:21.400 --> 00:20:22.833
38 frickin' years, you know?

00:20:22.866 --> 00:20:26.366
And I've never had
it together enough.

00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:29.566
I never just had the
opportunity to finish it."

00:20:29.600 --> 00:20:32.566
And she was like, "Well, what if
I told you there's a program at

00:20:32.600 --> 00:20:35.433
San Diego State
called Project Rebound?

00:20:35.466 --> 00:20:38.533
And I'm an alumni of San Diego
State, and I'm gonna make some

00:20:38.566 --> 00:20:40.366
phone calls."

00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:42.166
I went back, and I told
her, "Well, I'm registered."

00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:44.633
And she said, "Do you
think you can do it?"

00:20:44.666 --> 00:20:47.133
And I said, "I do.
I think I can do it."

00:20:47.166 --> 00:20:49.333
She goes, "Then you
have to get decent grades.

00:20:49.366 --> 00:20:52.666
You can't get a 'C.' You've
gotta get at least, you know, a

00:20:52.700 --> 00:20:57.833
3.5 or a 3.0 and above on those
19 units, and you've gotta stay

00:20:57.866 --> 00:21:01.533
here in custody, and you
can't take a ride from anybody.

00:21:01.566 --> 00:21:04.433
You can't use anyone's cell
phone to study, and you're only

00:21:04.466 --> 00:21:08.233
gonna be allowed one hour a day
in the lab, five days a week,

00:21:08.266 --> 00:21:09.833
and that's it.

00:21:09.866 --> 00:21:11.400
Can you do it?"

00:21:11.433 --> 00:21:13.433
You know, and I was like,
"Yeah, I think I can do it."

00:21:13.466 --> 00:21:15.600
And she said, "You know what?
I believe you.

00:21:15.633 --> 00:21:17.466
I believe you can do it too."

00:21:17.500 --> 00:21:19.800
And it'd been a long time since
anybody even said,

00:21:19.833 --> 00:21:21.433
you know, "I believe you.

00:21:21.466 --> 00:21:23.200
I believe in you," you know?

00:21:23.233 --> 00:21:26.100
So to hear that, I'm
like, "I'm gonna do this.

00:21:26.133 --> 00:21:27.533
I'm gonna do it," and I did it.

00:21:27.566 --> 00:21:30.066
I got up early.
I walked to school every day.

00:21:30.100 --> 00:21:32.533
I walked a mile and a half every
day, whether it was raining,

00:21:32.566 --> 00:21:35.166
windy, pouring, shining.

00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:37.033
I had assignments in trash bags.

00:21:37.066 --> 00:21:38.833
I didn't have a
raincoat when it rained.

00:21:38.866 --> 00:21:42.866
I put a trash bag
over me and walked.

00:21:42.900 --> 00:21:45.666
And I didn't talk to anybody on
the way there, and I didn't talk

00:21:45.700 --> 00:21:48.000
to anybody on the way back.

00:21:48.966 --> 00:21:51.166
Laura: And here we are.
Bye, brother.

00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:52.700
male: All right, have a
good day.

00:21:52.733 --> 00:21:54.033
Laura: Yeah, thanks.

00:21:54.066 --> 00:21:55.966
male: Heh-heh-heh, see ya.

00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:57.433
Laura: And the last thought
from my mind

00:21:57.466 --> 00:21:59.266
is going back to prison.

00:21:59.300 --> 00:22:02.366
The only way I'll go back to
prison is when I'm a visitor,

00:22:02.400 --> 00:22:04.966
and I'm gonna go back
to help my sisters.

00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:06.600
I'll still go back.

00:22:06.633 --> 00:22:14.800
♪♪♪

00:22:17.866 --> 00:22:19.533
male: Three months.
Laura: Yeah.

00:22:19.566 --> 00:22:21.800
Laura: It's your job to
understand what happened,

00:22:21.833 --> 00:22:24.533
why you came in, and if you're
not looking at that at the same

00:22:24.566 --> 00:22:27.700
time, then you're
destined to come back.

00:22:27.733 --> 00:22:30.766
And let me tell you, women
are being locked up more now.

00:22:30.800 --> 00:22:35.733
That's the highest population in
the CDCR, so, you guys, you guys

00:22:35.766 --> 00:22:37.633
need to get it together.

00:22:37.666 --> 00:22:40.433
You know, if I can do it, you
know, and I've been locked up

00:22:40.466 --> 00:22:43.066
for a pretty good part of
my life and I've had judges

00:22:43.100 --> 00:22:44.666
completely give up on me.

00:22:44.700 --> 00:22:46.933
If I can do it, y'all can do it.

00:22:52.500 --> 00:22:54.066
Laura: So, hi, ladies.

00:22:54.100 --> 00:22:55.500
all: Hello.

00:22:55.533 --> 00:22:57.100
Laura: I thank you for being
here, but, you know, that's kind

00:22:57.133 --> 00:22:59.700
of stating the obvious, right?

00:22:59.733 --> 00:23:01.400
We're all just here.

00:23:01.433 --> 00:23:03.300
So I'm an alumni
of Las Colinas.

00:23:03.333 --> 00:23:07.466
I'm an alumni of the old Las
Colinas, so F Street, Charlie

00:23:07.500 --> 00:23:11.333
House, B Housing, those of you
that have been doin' time, you

00:23:11.366 --> 00:23:13.666
know about the old Las Colinas,
the one where you couldn't get

00:23:13.700 --> 00:23:16.900
that red dirt off your feet even
after you were released--yeah,

00:23:16.933 --> 00:23:18.533
that's where I was at.

00:23:18.566 --> 00:23:20.533
Let me start where I'm at now
'cause it's not about where

00:23:20.566 --> 00:23:23.166
I was, but it's about
where I'm at now.

00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:26.200
Right now I'm a first-year grad
student at San Diego State with

00:23:26.233 --> 00:23:29.733
a 4.0 in the
field of Criminology.

00:23:29.766 --> 00:23:36.933
I also teach Sociology 101 to
a lot of privileged freshmen.

00:23:36.966 --> 00:23:41.400
When I teach sociology, I
teach about mass incarceration.

00:23:41.433 --> 00:23:43.933
I teach about the
fast-growing rate of women.

00:23:43.966 --> 00:23:47.900
I teach about how, when the laws
changed, instead of going after

00:23:47.933 --> 00:23:51.433
violent men, it's now
concentrating on women and your

00:23:51.466 --> 00:23:54.066
opportunities and your
quality-of-life crimes like

00:23:54.100 --> 00:23:56.500
drugs, prostitution.

00:23:56.533 --> 00:23:58.833
Those kind of petty crimes,
that's how we're getting

00:23:58.866 --> 00:24:00.366
caught up, ladies.

00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:02.366
That's how we're getting
caught up, and guess what?

00:24:02.400 --> 00:24:05.200
By studying, I learned that 65%
of your children

00:24:05.233 --> 00:24:07.633
will also end up in prison.

00:24:07.666 --> 00:24:09.933
This is a legacy
we're leaving our kids.

00:24:09.966 --> 00:24:12.633
What I need you guys to
do is get it together.

00:24:12.666 --> 00:24:14.066
I need you to get it together.

00:24:14.100 --> 00:24:17.000
Be responsible, and
be kind to yourself.

00:24:17.033 --> 00:24:19.666
If that's one thing the parole
agent told me when I begged him

00:24:19.700 --> 00:24:21.966
to go back to prison is "God
sake's, Murray,

00:24:22.000 --> 00:24:23.566
give yourself a break."

00:24:23.600 --> 00:24:26.800
For once in your lives,
ladies, give yourself a break.

00:24:26.833 --> 00:24:29.366
You're all beautiful,
intelligent women and have

00:24:29.400 --> 00:24:31.266
something to contribute.

00:24:31.300 --> 00:24:33.833
A lot of you are mothers and
daughters, you know what I mean?

00:24:33.866 --> 00:24:36.966
Don't get caught up in the
system that's--you know, is

00:24:37.000 --> 00:24:39.000
being designed against you.

00:24:39.033 --> 00:24:40.333
I mean, look at your clothes.

00:24:40.366 --> 00:24:41.700
Your clothes are made for men.

00:24:41.733 --> 00:24:43.200
They're not made for women.

00:24:43.233 --> 00:24:45.466
Your reentry
programs, they're trying.

00:24:45.500 --> 00:24:46.966
They have trauma-informed care.

00:24:47.000 --> 00:24:50.133
You guys are really lucky to be
at this jail 'cause, when I was

00:24:50.166 --> 00:24:51.800
in the jail--believe me.

00:24:51.833 --> 00:24:54.366
I just feel like I'm truly
blessed, and I feel like I'm

00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:56.300
never gonna leave
you girls behind.

00:24:56.333 --> 00:24:57.833
All of you are my sisters.

00:24:57.866 --> 00:24:59.966
I'd never forget
where I came from.

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:02.233
You guys can get it together.
You can be mothers.

00:25:02.266 --> 00:25:03.866
You can be daughters.

00:25:03.900 --> 00:25:06.900
You can fight this system that
keeps locking you up and accept

00:25:06.933 --> 00:25:09.966
responsibility for your actions.

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:13.400
Recognize it, stay in it
shorter, and move on quicker,

00:25:13.433 --> 00:25:14.733
and get goin'.

00:25:14.766 --> 00:25:17.433
I love you guys.
I really do, thank you.

00:25:17.466 --> 00:25:18.766
female: Thank you.

00:25:18.800 --> 00:25:21.233
[audience applauding]

00:25:21.266 --> 00:25:22.600
Laura: This is Bella.

00:25:22.633 --> 00:25:23.966
This is my sister and a cohort.

00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:26.133
She's my little sister.

00:25:26.166 --> 00:25:27.833
all: Hi.

00:25:27.866 --> 00:25:31.033
Isabella: I'm Isabella, but
I'm endearingly referred

00:25:31.066 --> 00:25:32.966
to as Bella.

00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:35.133
Isabella: I think the core
that struck the hardest with the

00:25:35.166 --> 00:25:37.633
women is abuse.

00:25:37.666 --> 00:25:40.000
Most of those women in there,
when I mentioned that, like,

00:25:40.033 --> 00:25:43.500
it's just like I saw the
turning in their face.

00:25:43.533 --> 00:25:46.266
It's like, "Well, how many of
you are in here because you

00:25:46.300 --> 00:25:49.000
thought you would
sacrifice for a man?"

00:25:49.033 --> 00:25:55.166
And I just felt, like, I felt
the wave of that pain 'cause

00:25:55.200 --> 00:25:59.966
it's really emotional seeing all
those women and seeing, like,

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:06.800
the emotion in their eyes, the
pain, the confusion, and they

00:26:06.833 --> 00:26:12.233
were not used to being addressed
as an individual human being,

00:26:12.266 --> 00:26:14.766
and that was really difficult
because I had forgot the

00:26:14.800 --> 00:26:19.400
dehumanization that comes
behind being locked up.

00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:32.166
♪♪♪

00:26:32.200 --> 00:26:42.166
♪♪♪

00:26:42.200 --> 00:26:47.100
♪♪♪

00:26:47.133 --> 00:26:49.133
Isabella: Be right back.

00:26:49.166 --> 00:26:53.533
♪♪♪

00:26:53.566 --> 00:26:58.933
Isabella: So I had a trial,
and they did all unanimously

00:26:58.966 --> 00:27:01.233
agree that I was trespassing.

00:27:01.266 --> 00:27:06.266
I get my verdict, and the judge
is like, "I don't really like

00:27:06.300 --> 00:27:08.633
that you've been breastfeeding
your daughter

00:27:08.666 --> 00:27:10.166
in front of the jury.

00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:16.700
I feel like it affected
your, you know, your turnout."

00:27:16.733 --> 00:27:20.633
The prosecutor also was--she was
this, like, young hotshot, had

00:27:20.666 --> 00:27:25.033
never lost a case, so she
was, like, hungry to get me

00:27:25.066 --> 00:27:27.966
convicted, hungry 'cause she's
like, "I've never lost a case,"

00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:29.600
and she was also white.

00:27:29.633 --> 00:27:33.266
She was also hugging my abuser
and telling him, "Hey, it's

00:27:33.300 --> 00:27:36.266
gonna be okay," and, like,
that also was very triggering.

00:27:36.300 --> 00:27:41.500
And I was like,
"Does nobody care?"

00:27:41.533 --> 00:27:48.000
So he said, "I need you to sit
in jail for ten days

00:27:48.033 --> 00:27:50.700
and while we arraign you."

00:27:50.733 --> 00:27:53.933
Like, so he turns to me.

00:27:53.966 --> 00:27:57.666
He tells my legal counsel, like
"What's--you know, when should

00:27:57.700 --> 00:27:59.566
we have the arraignment?"

00:27:59.600 --> 00:28:04.366
And my lawyer is like, "This
day," and so, but we didn't know

00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:06.966
what was going on until after,
so he said--the judge said,

00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:09.833
"Okay, that seems
fair, ten days."

00:28:09.866 --> 00:28:13.866
So, and then the bailiff comes
up behind me, and Giuliana is,

00:28:13.900 --> 00:28:16.233
like, in the hallway.

00:28:16.266 --> 00:28:21.266
And, yeah, so, yeah, they take
me away,

00:28:21.300 --> 00:28:29.033
and I'm, like--my milk,
automatically I start leaking

00:28:29.066 --> 00:28:30.466
'cause I was just, like,

00:28:30.500 --> 00:28:32.000
"Oh, no, what am I gonna
do with Giuliana?"

00:28:44.766 --> 00:28:47.700
Isabella: So we always take
off dirty uniforms when we get

00:28:47.733 --> 00:28:51.466
home because they're
just--germ, germ-ridden.

00:28:51.500 --> 00:28:52.800
Giuliana: Need help again.

00:28:52.833 --> 00:28:54.133
Isabella: What do
you need help with?

00:28:54.166 --> 00:28:57.333
Oh, the zipper, okay.

00:28:57.366 --> 00:28:58.800
Wash your hands.

00:28:58.833 --> 00:29:00.266
Giuliana: I did.

00:29:00.300 --> 00:29:03.066
Isabella: You did?
Cool, okay.

00:29:03.100 --> 00:29:05.733
Isabella: So this is
my mom's fiancé's house.

00:29:05.766 --> 00:29:10.033
We live in Chula Vista, which
is, like, 30 minutes south.

00:29:10.066 --> 00:29:12.700
So they come here on
Wednesdays, my mom--

00:29:12.733 --> 00:29:14.100
Ezra: And Monday nights.

00:29:14.133 --> 00:29:15.533
Isabella: And Monday.

00:29:15.566 --> 00:29:16.866
Ezra: And Sunday nights.

00:29:16.900 --> 00:29:18.466
Isabella: Sunday nights.
This--where does this go?

00:29:18.500 --> 00:29:19.800
In there?

00:29:19.833 --> 00:29:21.133
Giuliana: Yeah.
Isabella: Okay, go ahead.

00:29:21.166 --> 00:29:22.466
Giuliana: No, I'm too
scared to go in there.

00:29:22.500 --> 00:29:23.800
Isabella: Why is
it scary in here?

00:29:23.833 --> 00:29:25.133
Giuliana: Scary.

00:29:25.166 --> 00:29:26.700
Ezra: Giuli is
just a scaredy-cat.

00:29:26.733 --> 00:29:28.133
Giuliana: No.

00:29:28.166 --> 00:29:29.700
Ezra: Mom,
what's scary about this?

00:29:29.733 --> 00:29:32.200
Giuliana: -- it's too high.

00:29:32.233 --> 00:29:36.900
Isabella: Looks like a
monster is gonna--"rawr"?

00:29:36.933 --> 00:29:39.933
Really?
It's too scary?

00:29:39.966 --> 00:29:41.633
Okay.
Did you miss Mom?

00:29:41.666 --> 00:29:43.000
I missed you.

00:29:43.033 --> 00:29:45.266
Ezra: Mommy--Mom.
Isabella: Oh--

00:29:45.300 --> 00:29:47.400
Giuliana: I wanna snuggle.
Ezra: Mom--

00:29:47.433 --> 00:29:49.633
Isabella: You want a snuggly?
Ezra: Mommy, Mommy.

00:29:49.666 --> 00:29:51.866
Isabella: I'm listening.

00:29:51.900 --> 00:29:54.033
You want some
potatoes with your potatoes?

00:29:54.066 --> 00:29:55.366
Ezra: What?

00:29:55.400 --> 00:29:57.200
Isabella: Some
potatoes with your potatoes?

00:29:57.233 --> 00:29:59.200
Ezra: No,
here's the scissors.

00:29:59.233 --> 00:30:08.166
[TV noise in background]

00:30:10.133 --> 00:30:13.166
Isabella: So John has a
little room for them,

00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:16.633
and so this is their room.

00:30:16.666 --> 00:30:19.100
He got them the bunk
beds not that long ago.

00:30:19.133 --> 00:30:24.400
It was used off of craigslist
and--this is really dirty.

00:30:24.433 --> 00:30:27.566
And then my
mom--here's my mom and John.

00:30:27.600 --> 00:30:29.300
That's my mom and John.

00:30:31.666 --> 00:30:33.066
Isabella: You
want Giuli's fries?

00:30:33.100 --> 00:30:35.366
Ezra: Yeah, Giuli, you want
your fries?

00:30:35.400 --> 00:30:37.400
I want all of her fries.

00:30:37.433 --> 00:30:40.533
Mom, put a lot of fries.

00:30:43.633 --> 00:30:46.400
Isabella: I
get put in the bus.

00:30:46.433 --> 00:30:48.066
I've never seen the
inside of that bus.

00:30:48.100 --> 00:30:49.866
That thing is horrible.

00:30:49.900 --> 00:30:53.900
It's like cages, and you're
caged in there like an animal.

00:30:53.933 --> 00:30:56.666
I'll never forget that room
where you have to go into the

00:30:56.700 --> 00:31:00.600
room, and you take off all your
clothes, and they make you bend

00:31:00.633 --> 00:31:07.366
over, and I was still bleeding,
so they're like, you know, and

00:31:07.400 --> 00:31:08.700
they just make you stand there.

00:31:08.733 --> 00:31:11.033
Like, it's so barbaric.

00:31:11.066 --> 00:31:12.966
So barbaric.

00:31:13.000 --> 00:31:14.466
And they don't give you
anything to clean up.

00:31:14.500 --> 00:31:17.166
They're just like,
"Wear this clothes."

00:31:17.200 --> 00:31:20.100
When I got out, Giuli
had lost a lot of weight.

00:31:20.133 --> 00:31:22.800
She was two months old.

00:31:22.833 --> 00:31:26.766
She had, like, gotten really bad
cradle cap, which is flaky all

00:31:26.800 --> 00:31:32.600
over, and I got really skinny,
and it was an intense--it was

00:31:32.633 --> 00:31:34.100
intense getting back.

00:31:34.133 --> 00:31:35.500
My milk supply suffered.

00:31:35.533 --> 00:31:38.266
She was underweight
for at least a year.

00:31:38.300 --> 00:31:41.900
Like, she started eating solid
food faster than--you know,

00:31:41.933 --> 00:31:46.533
before than it was recommended
because she was hungry.

00:31:46.566 --> 00:31:50.366
Both of them have, like, emerged
from abuse or from,

00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:54.666
like--I've never had, like, a
happier pregnancy, you know?

00:31:54.700 --> 00:31:57.533
I've never been like, "Oh, I'm
so happy this is happening."

00:31:57.566 --> 00:31:59.100
It's always been under stress.

00:31:59.133 --> 00:32:04.400
It's always been, like--so I
feel like a lot of women feel

00:32:04.433 --> 00:32:07.300
that way with their kids, and
it's just, like, if you're not

00:32:07.333 --> 00:32:12.200
okay with embracing your
parenthood, it's just like they

00:32:12.233 --> 00:32:13.933
automatically blame you.

00:32:13.966 --> 00:32:17.866
It's just like, "Wait, we have
to look back at how they came

00:32:17.900 --> 00:32:22.400
about being a parent," so I
carry a lot of guilt and shame,

00:32:22.433 --> 00:32:27.533
trying to parent them,
'cause it was a lot.

00:32:27.566 --> 00:32:31.066
They just came about,
like I said, from chaos.

00:32:31.100 --> 00:32:32.533
Isabella: You
wanna take some?

00:32:32.566 --> 00:32:33.866
Ezra: Mm-mm.
Isabella: No.

00:32:33.900 --> 00:32:35.433
Ezra: Fries.
Isabella: You want her fries?

00:32:35.466 --> 00:32:37.033
Ezra: Mm-hmm.

00:32:45.200 --> 00:32:46.733
Laura: What're
you gonna do today?

00:32:46.766 --> 00:32:48.133
What's on your agenda?

00:32:48.166 --> 00:32:50.166
I know you're gonna
play with Mr. String.

00:32:50.200 --> 00:32:52.866
He's your best friend, yes,
and you take very good care

00:32:52.900 --> 00:32:54.866
of grooming him too.

00:32:54.900 --> 00:32:59.666
Yes, he's the best-groomed
Mr. String I've ever seen,

00:32:59.700 --> 00:33:02.033
yes, he is.

00:33:02.066 --> 00:33:04.066
Yes, that's your pal, huh?

00:33:04.100 --> 00:33:06.000
And then you're
gonna attack the bells.

00:33:06.033 --> 00:33:10.100
I know that's on your agenda
today 'cause you hate bells,

00:33:10.133 --> 00:33:11.566
don't we?

00:33:11.600 --> 00:33:13.600
We don't like bells.

00:33:13.633 --> 00:33:16.100
So birds have a
high sense of empathy.

00:33:16.133 --> 00:33:22.366
They can feel your pulse through
their little tiny paws or claws.

00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:25.933
And if you're
excited, they get excited.

00:33:25.966 --> 00:33:29.600
If you're in a
rush, you get this.

00:33:29.633 --> 00:33:31.333
[tweet, tweet]

00:33:31.366 --> 00:33:34.333
Laura: But if you're very
calm and you hold them, then

00:33:34.366 --> 00:33:40.166
they let you pet them, but if
you're nervous, no, it's not

00:33:40.200 --> 00:33:41.766
happening, huh?

00:33:41.800 --> 00:33:44.866
She'll turn around and bite
you, which is kind of a strange

00:33:44.900 --> 00:33:53.233
emotional support pet, but she
gives me a lot of love,

00:33:53.266 --> 00:33:56.933
just about the right
amount that I need.

00:33:56.966 --> 00:33:58.533
Yeah, we're feisty.

00:33:58.566 --> 00:34:00.700
Okay, you ready to
go back in your cage?

00:34:00.733 --> 00:34:05.433
I gotta go to school now, okay?

00:34:05.466 --> 00:34:07.533
I'll see you when I
get home, okay, Pickle?

00:34:07.566 --> 00:34:08.933
Mwah, mwah, mwah.

00:34:31.033 --> 00:34:37.466
Laura: Oh, it's me, Clotus.

00:34:37.500 --> 00:34:42.100
Hi, Isabella.

00:34:42.133 --> 00:34:44.800
Isabella: Hello, hi.

00:34:44.833 --> 00:34:47.133
Laura: How are you?

00:34:47.166 --> 00:34:49.433
Isabella: Oh, I'm good.
How are you?

00:34:49.466 --> 00:34:50.833
Laura: Good.

00:34:50.866 --> 00:34:52.300
I like the beach
in the background.

00:34:52.333 --> 00:34:54.800
Isabella: I wish I
was there right now.

00:34:54.833 --> 00:34:57.766
Laura: How many units
are you taking, Christian?

00:34:57.800 --> 00:34:59.733
Christian DeAnda: Just
one class, three units.

00:34:59.766 --> 00:35:02.633
Laura: Okay, okay, so
that'll be more manageable.

00:35:02.666 --> 00:35:04.333
That's a good idea.

00:35:04.366 --> 00:35:07.200
And then, Bella, how many
are you taking in the fall?

00:35:07.233 --> 00:35:10.766
Isabella: I'm taking the
full 12, but I'm moving

00:35:10.800 --> 00:35:12.533
into the dorms.

00:35:12.566 --> 00:35:13.866
Christian: Oh, oh, oh.

00:35:13.900 --> 00:35:15.200
Laura: Oh--

00:35:15.233 --> 00:35:18.633
Isabella: I'm leaving, yeah,
I'm leaving the kids with my mom

00:35:18.666 --> 00:35:22.500
'cause it's--I need to--well,
I'm like, really--like, last

00:35:22.533 --> 00:35:27.366
semester really showed me how
much I need to improve and--

00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:29.533
female: What are some of
your concerns about writing?

00:35:29.566 --> 00:35:34.133
What worries you a little bit
about writing at San Diego State

00:35:34.166 --> 00:35:36.100
and your future
writing experiences?

00:35:36.133 --> 00:35:37.933
You got something in mind?

00:35:37.966 --> 00:35:41.066
Isabella: When I was
in the Poli Sci class last

00:35:41.100 --> 00:35:43.733
semester--oh, I'm sorry.

00:35:43.766 --> 00:35:51.266
Let me close my door.

00:35:51.300 --> 00:35:54.400
female: This is what
happens when you live at home.

00:35:54.433 --> 00:35:55.733
Isabella: We're
quarantine at home.

00:35:55.766 --> 00:35:58.400
One of--my son has
tested positive.

00:35:58.433 --> 00:35:59.733
female: Oh, gee.

00:35:59.766 --> 00:36:01.233
Laura: Oh, no.

00:36:01.266 --> 00:36:06.900
Isabella: So we're really at
home, and so one of my concerns

00:36:06.933 --> 00:36:10.666
in my Poli Sci class last
semester is that I had an

00:36:10.700 --> 00:36:15.833
inability to try and
articulate my arguments.

00:36:15.866 --> 00:36:18.500
female: One thing about
academic writing is the fact

00:36:18.533 --> 00:36:20.600
it's really kind of removed.

00:36:20.633 --> 00:36:22.533
That's one of the
clues of academic writing.

00:36:22.566 --> 00:36:25.500
When you're making an argument,
you have to back away--

00:36:25.533 --> 00:36:27.000
and say, "I've gotta use
evidence

00:36:27.033 --> 00:36:29.466
that's acceptable
to my instructor,"

00:36:29.500 --> 00:36:32.266
and I think that's really hard
to start doing

00:36:32.300 --> 00:36:35.100
after you've been much more
emotionally involved.

00:36:35.133 --> 00:36:37.433
Yeah, good for you, Isabella.

00:36:45.866 --> 00:36:48.633
female: Can you tell me,
like, what's been happening

00:36:48.666 --> 00:36:52.433
and maybe about what
led to the move?

00:36:52.466 --> 00:36:55.400
Isabella: So back in--that
was in July,

00:36:55.433 --> 00:36:58.166
little bit after 4th of July.

00:36:58.200 --> 00:37:04.233
We had been exposed to someone
who tested positive for COVID,

00:37:04.266 --> 00:37:08.800
so I went to go take the kids to
get tested, and Ezra turned out

00:37:08.833 --> 00:37:13.666
to be positive, and he
immediately needed to be

00:37:13.700 --> 00:37:15.533
quarantined in his house.

00:37:15.566 --> 00:37:19.366
They told us that "You need to
wear masks inside your home."

00:37:19.400 --> 00:37:21.833
We basically got really scared
because we didn't know if

00:37:21.866 --> 00:37:23.766
he was going to get sick.

00:37:23.800 --> 00:37:29.266
We didn't know if my mom, who's,
you know, in her 60s--she's 60.

00:37:29.300 --> 00:37:33.166
We didn't know if she would get
it and get sick or if I would

00:37:33.200 --> 00:37:36.366
get it or if my daughter
Giuliana,

00:37:36.400 --> 00:37:40.633
so that was very stressful.

00:37:40.666 --> 00:37:43.200
Tensions were very high at home.

00:37:43.233 --> 00:37:46.233
I would have, like--oh,
god, I even hate saying this.

00:37:46.266 --> 00:37:50.466
Like, I would have terrible
explosive episodes,

00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:54.100
and I remember it's the
one instance where my mom

00:37:54.133 --> 00:37:56.633
was like, "You're gone.
You're out"

00:37:56.666 --> 00:38:00.300
--was--there
is--and it's small instances.

00:38:00.333 --> 00:38:04.266
Like, it was--I think the
laundry hadn't been done.

00:38:04.300 --> 00:38:06.333
She asked me, "Hey,
can you fold this?"

00:38:06.366 --> 00:38:10.400
And I wasn't doing anything.
I wasn't doing anything.

00:38:10.433 --> 00:38:12.466
I was doing the bare minimum
for the kids,

00:38:12.500 --> 00:38:15.000
and I think she got upset.

00:38:15.033 --> 00:38:19.033
We were all on very short fuses,
and she was like,

00:38:19.066 --> 00:38:21.533
"Why haven't you done this?"

00:38:21.566 --> 00:38:27.066
And I got very, very, like,
offended, and I just threw

00:38:27.100 --> 00:38:31.800
all of the clothes down the
stairwell, and the kids got

00:38:31.833 --> 00:38:34.200
really scared, and my mom got
really scared,

00:38:34.233 --> 00:38:39.033
and she was like, "It's time.
It's time for you to go.

00:38:39.066 --> 00:38:42.833
You need to--you know,
you're--the kids are suffering.

00:38:42.866 --> 00:38:45.033
I'm suffering."

00:38:45.066 --> 00:38:49.666
And so, it was like a
huge--it was a huge blow.

00:38:49.700 --> 00:38:52.333
When quarantine did happen,
and you are sitting with your

00:38:52.366 --> 00:38:57.733
thoughts and all your traumas,
all your repressed emotions

00:38:57.766 --> 00:39:02.533
of what happened, like,
they start to surface.

00:39:02.566 --> 00:39:06.866
So I decided to look
into student housing.

00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:12.333
Isabella: Yes.

00:39:21.966 --> 00:39:23.366
Oh, look.

00:39:23.400 --> 00:39:26.300
Oh, my god, I gotta
go grocery shopping.

00:39:26.333 --> 00:39:30.033
I can't wait.

00:39:30.066 --> 00:39:31.366
Cool, cool.

00:39:31.400 --> 00:39:32.700
[gasps]

00:39:32.733 --> 00:39:37.733
I have a dishwasher?

00:39:37.766 --> 00:39:39.566
Yes. No dishes for me.

00:39:45.466 --> 00:39:46.966
Isabella: So I
do have more time.

00:39:47.000 --> 00:39:50.866
I moved in, in
August, August 20.

00:39:50.900 --> 00:39:53.800
It's been very
therapeutic being here.

00:39:53.833 --> 00:39:56.033
I still see my kids
several times a week.

00:39:56.066 --> 00:40:00.666
They come here all the time, and
I am receiving a lot more help

00:40:00.700 --> 00:40:06.900
from my mom and my dad
and their spouses,

00:40:06.933 --> 00:40:09.666
so I'm very--I'm very grateful.

00:40:09.700 --> 00:40:15.166
And after things kind of calm
down and my mom and I were able

00:40:15.200 --> 00:40:18.766
to kind of come back together,
and I told her I'm just, like,

00:40:18.800 --> 00:40:24.133
I'm still--I'm still suffering
of, like, what happened.

00:40:24.166 --> 00:40:29.500
And for years, I was
told like, "Let it go.

00:40:29.533 --> 00:40:31.333
You don't have to
be angry about it.

00:40:31.366 --> 00:40:33.766
Let your anger go."

00:40:33.800 --> 00:40:37.666
And I was like, "I can't.
I don't know what to do.

00:40:37.700 --> 00:40:39.333
I don't know what to do.

00:40:39.366 --> 00:40:45.666
And she was like, "You know,
we need to get you some help.

00:40:45.700 --> 00:40:50.200
We need to find
you a specialist."

00:40:50.233 --> 00:40:55.133
My psychiatrist basically said,
he's like, "You're always 'on.'

00:40:55.166 --> 00:40:57.466
You're always on
fight or flight.

00:40:57.500 --> 00:41:03.900
Like, your brain really
never--it never really has

00:41:03.933 --> 00:41:07.000
it's moment to wind down."

00:41:07.033 --> 00:41:11.366
It was comforting and confirming
to hear a specialist tell me,

00:41:11.400 --> 00:41:16.333
like, "You have very intense
PTSD from everything

00:41:16.366 --> 00:41:18.100
that's happened."

00:41:18.133 --> 00:41:19.566
And we'll see.

00:41:19.600 --> 00:41:21.366
We'll see what happens.

00:41:28.600 --> 00:41:38.000
male: Where are we goin'?

00:41:38.033 --> 00:41:41.800
Laura: So, yeah, it's month
five of the quarantine that was

00:41:41.833 --> 00:41:49.033
supposed to last two weeks, and
at the beginning of June, when

00:41:49.066 --> 00:41:53.600
there was a moratorium on rent,
and there was a rent freeze and

00:41:53.633 --> 00:41:58.500
a freeze on eviction, my
landlord was fine with all of

00:41:58.533 --> 00:42:02.933
that, but I have three
roommates, and they decided that

00:42:02.966 --> 00:42:06.533
they wanted to raise the rent,
and they decided they wanted a

00:42:06.566 --> 00:42:09.233
deduction of $100 apiece on
their end,

00:42:09.266 --> 00:42:11.466
and I was to pay $100 more.

00:42:11.500 --> 00:42:14.866
So in the middle of a pandemic,
after being laid off from two of

00:42:14.900 --> 00:42:20.200
my three jobs and with a felony
record, I decided that I had to

00:42:20.233 --> 00:42:22.900
leave that place after this
being the only place

00:42:22.933 --> 00:42:25.866
that I've known since I paroled.

00:42:25.900 --> 00:42:28.533
I honestly thought it would be
easier than

00:42:28.566 --> 00:42:30.800
what it turned out to be.

00:42:30.833 --> 00:42:32.233
It was not easy.

00:42:32.266 --> 00:42:37.400
Every rental application that I
filled out asked if I had ever

00:42:37.433 --> 00:42:41.733
been arrested and/or
convicted of a felony.

00:42:41.766 --> 00:42:45.466
I didn't realize that was still
a thing on the applications.

00:42:45.500 --> 00:42:49.900
I heard about Ban-the-Box on
employment applications and how

00:42:49.933 --> 00:42:53.966
they were furiously fighting
for that, but I haven't seen

00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:56.633
anything on the housing part,
and I thought

00:42:56.666 --> 00:42:58.333
it just wasn't a thing anymore.

00:42:58.366 --> 00:43:00.900
Well, it is a thing.

00:43:00.933 --> 00:43:05.866
Finally, I had a professor step
in and talk to a property owner

00:43:05.900 --> 00:43:08.266
and explain my situation.

00:43:08.300 --> 00:43:09.966
He explained that I was a felon.

00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:14.733
He explained that he believed
that I was rehabilitated

00:43:14.766 --> 00:43:18.600
and that I was very worthy
of a place to stay above

00:43:18.633 --> 00:43:21.566
a print shop in Lemon Grove.

00:43:21.600 --> 00:43:25.266
I had friends in Project
Rebound, who I call my brothers.

00:43:25.300 --> 00:43:30.600
They showed up, and I got a
15-foot U-Haul, and we moved in

00:43:30.633 --> 00:43:32.266
probably less than two hours.

00:43:32.300 --> 00:43:36.266
We got my one-room worth
of stuff out of there.

00:43:37.500 --> 00:43:42.466
Laura: But this
is--it's like a mud room.

00:43:42.500 --> 00:43:47.666
I can put all my shoes with
my shoe thing down there.

00:43:47.700 --> 00:43:49.066
Very exciting.

00:43:49.100 --> 00:43:51.233
I'm glad you're here to share
with 'cause guys just don't pick

00:43:51.266 --> 00:43:53.800
up on that, hah.

00:43:53.833 --> 00:43:56.266
They don't get the excitement
of bein' able to plan a house.

00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:34.566
I want it to be as sparse as
a living room as possible.

00:44:34.600 --> 00:44:39.866
I never want a cluttered place
ever again, not that my place

00:44:39.900 --> 00:44:47.366
was super-cluttered
but--and we have the top.

00:44:47.400 --> 00:44:49.366
This is my new,
luxurious castle.

00:44:51.766 --> 00:44:53.333
Laura: I have a
wonderful place.

00:44:53.366 --> 00:44:56.400
I had people help me
move into this place.

00:44:56.433 --> 00:44:59.133
I can't tell you how happy
I am to have the kitchen.

00:44:59.166 --> 00:45:01.266
I've had a hot plate,
a microwave,

00:45:01.300 --> 00:45:03.533
and a toaster oven
for three years.

00:45:03.566 --> 00:45:04.866
I'm super-excited.

00:45:04.900 --> 00:45:07.366
I've had a little hotel
mini-fridge for three years.

00:45:07.400 --> 00:45:09.533
I have a--my own fridge.

00:45:09.566 --> 00:45:15.933
Like, those kind of things just
make me so, so freakin' happy

00:45:15.966 --> 00:45:20.600
to have a little kitchen,
you know, to have a patio

00:45:20.633 --> 00:45:24.233
that I can put plants on.

00:45:24.266 --> 00:45:27.266
Laura: There's my
beautiful pottery I got.

00:45:27.300 --> 00:45:30.700
This little thing
is called a firefly.

00:45:30.733 --> 00:45:32.033
There's my potting soil.

00:45:32.066 --> 00:45:33.633
I have big ambitions.

00:45:33.666 --> 00:45:35.833
There's my plumeria.

00:45:35.866 --> 00:45:42.033
There's my laughing beauty,
Buddha, to keep me happy.

00:45:42.066 --> 00:45:47.500
There's a really cool palm that
has, like, purple on the edges

00:45:47.533 --> 00:45:52.966
of it, and there's my ivy, and
there's my little blue door

00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:54.800
that comes out here.

00:45:54.833 --> 00:45:57.500
There's my security
door, even on the top floor.

00:45:57.533 --> 00:45:59.033
I love it.

00:45:59.066 --> 00:46:01.800
Safety first.

00:46:01.833 --> 00:46:03.600
Okay.

00:46:04.366 --> 00:46:07.466
Laura: Yeah,
here I am at home.

00:46:07.500 --> 00:46:11.900
A month--I don't even
know what it is of COVID.

00:46:11.933 --> 00:46:16.766
In the beginning of January,
I finished applying

00:46:16.800 --> 00:46:19.766
to all my PhD programs.

00:46:19.800 --> 00:46:24.700
I know it's a lot harder to
apply for a doctoral program

00:46:24.733 --> 00:46:27.633
than it is for a master's
program, and my chances of

00:46:27.666 --> 00:46:33.566
getting in are not that I
don't think they're that good.

00:46:33.600 --> 00:46:36.233
I didn't start out
with a stellar GPA.

00:46:36.266 --> 00:46:41.600
I didn't start out with--I
didn't start out very good, so I

00:46:41.633 --> 00:46:48.466
ended really strong, and I
applied as a 4.0, but whether

00:46:48.500 --> 00:46:53.433
I'll be accepted by some of
these programs, who also asked

00:46:53.466 --> 00:46:59.400
on the application about
felonies and about backgrounds,

00:46:59.433 --> 00:47:03.366
those schools back east, it may
be a little harder to get into.

00:47:03.400 --> 00:47:07.633
So that's the update for now,
and, everybody, just please keep

00:47:07.666 --> 00:47:10.333
your fingers crossed,
and we'll find out.

00:47:10.366 --> 00:47:12.033
Thanks.

00:47:13.766 --> 00:47:17.900
Isabella: All of my
coursework is due on the 13th on

00:47:17.933 --> 00:47:20.200
Thursday, so it's
my last weekend.

00:47:20.233 --> 00:47:23.500
It's the last hurrah.

00:47:23.533 --> 00:47:27.133
It's been a very
long last semester.

00:47:27.166 --> 00:47:33.600
We've made it to the end, but I
don't feel like--I don't know.

00:47:33.633 --> 00:47:36.166
I don't feel like I'm there yet.

00:47:36.200 --> 00:47:37.966
Everyone's saying,
"Congratulations,"

00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:42.100
but I don't feel it yet.

00:47:42.133 --> 00:47:44.633
I think I'm a little delirious.

00:47:44.666 --> 00:47:50.733
I've been staying
up really late.

00:47:50.766 --> 00:47:57.466
I don't really
have a set schedule.

00:47:57.500 --> 00:48:01.400
My sleeping pattern
is kind of funky.

00:48:01.433 --> 00:48:03.766
That's probably 'cause I
don't get up to go to class.

00:48:03.800 --> 00:48:08.733
I just come here.

00:48:08.766 --> 00:48:14.033
After I turn this paper in,
which I just took a break to

00:48:14.066 --> 00:48:18.500
check in, after I turn this
paper in, I'll be done with this

00:48:18.533 --> 00:48:28.200
course, so it'll be one course
down, five--no, four, four more

00:48:28.233 --> 00:48:31.466
to go, so I'm so excited.

00:48:32.866 --> 00:48:36.266
Isabella: You're catching
me before I have one more

00:48:36.300 --> 00:48:40.666
assignment to turn
in, and I am done.

00:48:40.700 --> 00:48:44.433
I think I've pulled multiple
all-nighters, at least for the

00:48:44.466 --> 00:48:49.500
last three weeks, setting up
meetings with professors, trying

00:48:49.533 --> 00:48:55.066
to beg and plead to let me turn
in late work, and I'm like,

00:48:55.100 --> 00:48:59.100
"I don't care if I get 50%,
please," but honestly,

00:48:59.133 --> 00:49:00.633
it's been a struggle.

00:49:00.666 --> 00:49:03.966
It's been a whole year of this
distance-learning stuff,

00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:06.066
Zoom meetings.

00:49:06.100 --> 00:49:08.800
It's--I don't know.
I need, like, a routine.

00:49:08.833 --> 00:49:11.866
I need structure, so I
definitely fell out of that.

00:49:11.900 --> 00:49:15.033
It's difficult for me
to just do it on my own.

00:49:15.066 --> 00:49:16.900
I started at the
beginning of the semester.

00:49:16.933 --> 00:49:20.866
I was, like, getting up
early, going to the gym.

00:49:20.900 --> 00:49:24.900
Come week three, week four,
it's just like staying up till

00:49:24.933 --> 00:49:31.800
3 a.m., waking up at 1, but it's
also I struggle with, like--I

00:49:31.833 --> 00:49:36.166
just feel ashamed, and I'm like,
"Oh, this is me turning work in

00:49:36.200 --> 00:49:39.733
late or me missing assignments
and then coming back and be

00:49:39.766 --> 00:49:45.733
like, "I'm sorry," and I'm just
like, "Oh, this is a bad, like,

00:49:45.766 --> 00:49:49.700
character flaw, I feel," but
they're being understanding.

00:49:49.733 --> 00:49:52.300
It's--this isn't sustainable.

00:49:52.333 --> 00:49:54.866
Like, me living like this
and working like

00:49:54.900 --> 00:49:56.566
this is unsustainable.

00:49:56.600 --> 00:49:59.366
It's not good for me.
I'm not sleeping well.

00:49:59.400 --> 00:50:03.500
I'm eating horribly.
Not the best.

00:50:03.533 --> 00:50:07.566
I do have, like--I do eat, like,
oatmeal and snack on snap peas

00:50:07.600 --> 00:50:15.066
and stuff, but, so, yes, that's
what's been going on for the

00:50:15.100 --> 00:50:20.266
past at least six weeks.

00:50:25.266 --> 00:50:33.033
Laura: Okay, so update, I
got my first reaction for my PhD

00:50:33.066 --> 00:50:37.833
applications, and luckily
it was not a rejection.

00:50:37.866 --> 00:50:40.100
I mean, I will be
okay with rejections.

00:50:40.133 --> 00:50:44.466
I understand it's an extremely
competitive degree,

00:50:44.500 --> 00:50:48.400
but I just wanted to read you
this: "Congratulations.

00:50:48.433 --> 00:50:51.200
Dear, Laura, on behalf of the
admissions committee for the

00:50:51.233 --> 00:50:55.733
Department of Leadership Studies
at the School of Leadership and

00:50:55.766 --> 00:51:01.700
Education Sciences, known as
SOLES, I am pleased to offer you

00:51:01.733 --> 00:51:05.033
admission to the PhD in
Leadership Studies Program for

00:51:05.066 --> 00:51:11.800
Fall of 2021, from the
University of San Diego."

00:51:11.833 --> 00:51:13.300
Pretty exciting.

00:51:13.333 --> 00:51:18.400
Finally, I feel like all the
late hours I spend working on

00:51:18.433 --> 00:51:23.266
all my work and the research,
getting published, like, this

00:51:23.300 --> 00:51:25.500
makes it all worth it, you know?

00:51:25.533 --> 00:51:30.400
So we'll see what happens,
and thanks for watchin' this.

00:51:30.433 --> 00:51:33.800
It's like 3:30 in the morning.
Good night.

00:51:33.833 --> 00:51:43.800
♪♪♪

00:51:43.833 --> 00:51:53.800
♪♪♪

00:51:53.833 --> 00:51:55.500
♪♪♪

00:51:55.533 --> 00:51:58.466
Laura: So today I'm
graduating with my master's

00:51:58.500 --> 00:52:01.333
in Criminal Justice
and Criminology.

00:52:01.366 --> 00:52:04.833
As you can tell from all the
honors cords and metals,

00:52:04.866 --> 00:52:09.566
I've worked really hard to
get to this day today.

00:52:09.600 --> 00:52:12.733
It was a long, hard year to try
and do this

00:52:12.766 --> 00:52:16.933
on--over Zoom with my chair.

00:52:16.966 --> 00:52:20.900
We only met towards the end, so
it was extremely challenging

00:52:20.933 --> 00:52:24.000
to do a thesis online.

00:52:24.033 --> 00:52:29.133
To get here to this day,
for me, is very surreal.

00:52:29.166 --> 00:52:33.000
I feel like I don't even know
what I'm doing sitting here, you

00:52:33.033 --> 00:52:35.766
know, that I can't believe that
I've actually done it, and I've

00:52:35.800 --> 00:52:40.466
done it well, considering that I
paroled from a level-four prison

00:52:40.500 --> 00:52:45.800
just four years ago, got my
undergrad with a double major in

00:52:45.833 --> 00:52:49.500
Sociology and Criminal Justice
two years ago, went straight

00:52:49.533 --> 00:52:54.433
into the master's program,
and I'm completing it today.

00:52:54.466 --> 00:52:58.433
I've also been accepted into an
R1 top research university at

00:52:58.466 --> 00:53:01.066
North Carolina State in Raleigh.

00:53:01.100 --> 00:53:02.800
That's gonna be my new home.

00:53:02.833 --> 00:53:05.366
The next step is North Carolina
State and movin'

00:53:05.400 --> 00:53:07.100
to North Carolina State.

00:53:07.133 --> 00:53:11.033
So there's a lot of
change going on for me.

00:53:11.066 --> 00:53:13.900
You know, these past three
months and the next three months

00:53:13.933 --> 00:53:16.366
ahead, I'll be moving out of
California where I was born

00:53:16.400 --> 00:53:22.866
and raised to pursue my
academic career further.

00:53:22.900 --> 00:53:27.800
It's just all
unbelievable to me.

00:53:27.833 --> 00:53:31.866
I'm walkin' across that stage
for all the women that I left

00:53:31.900 --> 00:53:33.733
behind in prison.

00:53:33.766 --> 00:53:37.066
You know, that's who I'm gonna
represent when I walk across

00:53:37.100 --> 00:53:40.733
that stage for the women
that never, ever had a chance.

00:53:40.766 --> 00:53:50.733
♪♪♪

00:53:50.766 --> 00:54:00.733
♪♪♪

00:54:00.766 --> 00:54:10.733
♪♪♪

00:54:10.766 --> 00:54:20.733
♪♪♪

00:54:20.766 --> 00:54:23.433
♪♪♪

00:54:23.466 --> 00:54:27.600
Isabella: So I was accepted
into San Diego State's

00:54:27.633 --> 00:54:30.733
master's of City Planning.

00:54:30.766 --> 00:54:36.433
I can't believe it happened
on top of an extremely coarse,

00:54:36.466 --> 00:54:38.600
heavy semester.

00:54:38.633 --> 00:54:41.433
I was just so grateful for Laura
because Laura was really the

00:54:41.466 --> 00:54:44.200
first one to come up to me
and be like, "Let me see

00:54:44.233 --> 00:54:45.666
your schedule."

00:54:45.700 --> 00:54:47.000
And I was like, "Oh, okay,"
and she's like,

00:54:47.033 --> 00:54:49.200
"I've had this professor.
Here are the notes.

00:54:49.233 --> 00:54:51.233
Here's the clicker you need."

00:54:51.266 --> 00:54:52.666
I'm really gonna miss her.

00:54:52.700 --> 00:54:55.800
I can't believe she's going to
South Carolina--North Carolina.

00:54:55.833 --> 00:55:01.033
I was fortunate enough to use my
incarcerated experience to kind

00:55:01.066 --> 00:55:06.500
of tie it in to why I wanna
go into city planning.

00:55:06.533 --> 00:55:11.400
I juxtaposed, you know, my
struggle to an even bigger

00:55:11.433 --> 00:55:16.266
societal struggle and
how, because I endured this

00:55:16.300 --> 00:55:20.500
experience, I can come in
and advocate for them and just

00:55:20.533 --> 00:55:23.800
basically say, "I never
forgot about these women."

00:55:23.833 --> 00:55:25.466
That's what I plan to do.

00:55:25.500 --> 00:55:28.766
I wanna--I don't know how I'll
make the change, but I'll be

00:55:28.800 --> 00:55:32.366
taking the steps so I can
infiltrate those spaces.

00:55:32.400 --> 00:55:36.766
I can infiltrate the public
sector in terms of, like, city

00:55:36.800 --> 00:55:39.466
planning, public administration.

00:55:39.500 --> 00:55:42.800
I can just be that advocate.
I can be that voice.

00:55:42.833 --> 00:55:52.800
♪♪♪

00:55:52.833 --> 00:55:57.400
♪♪♪

00:55:57.433 --> 00:55:59.200
Isabella: I'm very
grateful for my mom.

00:55:59.233 --> 00:56:02.200
I really wouldn't have
been able to do any of this.

00:56:02.233 --> 00:56:07.866
I wouldn't be able to live here
or pursue my degree, pursue my

00:56:07.900 --> 00:56:13.766
education with the flexibility
that she does allow me to have.

00:56:13.800 --> 00:56:17.633
I'm relieved, and I think it's
kind of surreal for all of us

00:56:17.666 --> 00:56:23.033
because we had to endure a lot,
and, I mean, I am happy,

00:56:23.066 --> 00:56:27.700
but I'm also--I think I'm more
relieved than anything.

00:56:27.733 --> 00:56:30.166
I'm relieved, and I'm exhausted.

00:56:30.200 --> 00:56:33.766
I'm ready for a nap.
Multiple naps.

00:56:33.800 --> 00:56:35.300
male: You got any words you
wanna say or

00:56:35.333 --> 00:56:40.300
anything you wanna share or--

00:56:40.333 --> 00:56:45.533
Isabella: I guess, I'm really
like, if it feels that you are

00:56:45.566 --> 00:56:48.533
to the point where you don't
know if you can do it, you're

00:56:48.566 --> 00:56:54.500
probably doing it right, is
my biggest piece of advice.

00:56:54.533 --> 00:56:57.733
Like, if you feel that you don't
know how it's gonna be done or

00:56:57.766 --> 00:57:00.433
how you will get through it,
then you're doing

00:57:00.466 --> 00:57:03.566
the right thing.

00:57:03.600 --> 00:57:10.466
But grad school's next.
We're not--we're not done.

00:57:10.500 --> 00:57:12.866
We'll be back in
two years, hopefully.

00:57:12.900 --> 00:57:22.866
♪♪♪

00:57:22.900 --> 00:57:32.866
♪♪♪

00:57:32.900 --> 00:57:42.866
♪♪♪

00:57:42.900 --> 00:57:52.866
♪♪♪

00:57:52.900 --> 00:58:01.933
♪♪♪

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