WEBVTT

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Is this the photographer?

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- [Mother] That\'s the girl
who took all those movies

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just a minute ago.

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See her?

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Bye.

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(calm music)

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(clapping)

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(squeals)

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Okay, Lauren, stop and
talk with us a minute.

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What\'s Kari\'s middle name?

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She looks just like her Nana.

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This is fun.

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- Doesn\'t she look beautiful?

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- [Mother] She looks beautiful.

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- This is me.

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My name is Lauren.

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I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago

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and had a happy, relatively
normal childhood.

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Family life was as good as anyone\'s.

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We were a tight-knit unit who
looked out for one another.

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Friends felt like relatives and
relatives felt like friends.

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As the oldest of three,

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I absolutely adored my younger brothers

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from the moment that they were born.

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And from a young age, I made it a goal

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to set a good example
for the both of them.

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My best friend growing up was named Lisa.

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She lived right down the block

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and we\'d always tell people
that we were related.

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We were inseparable.

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Looking back, I made a
lot of friends back then

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who would stay with me
throughout everything

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that would eventually unfold in my life

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and I\'ve been incredibly lucky.

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It didn\'t take me long

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until I discovered my passion for sports.

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It was like they were in my DNA.

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I played as many as I could growing up.

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Soccer, tennis, skiing, even gymnastics.

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My parents saw my abilities

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and introduced me to every
sport that they could find.

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But one of them stood out.

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One of them I had a raw talent for

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and it became my first love.

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Basketball.

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Playing ball was different
than playing any other sport.

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There was something greater.

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Something natural about it.

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By the age of seven,

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I proudly had established
an undeniable identity.

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I was a baller.

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I grew up knowing that my
father was a big time athlete

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within the Chicago area.

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I felt like I was following
in my father\'s footsteps

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so it was something that we all did.

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It was something we all shared.

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It was something that we
all could identify with.

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- I do think that that was something

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that kept us all very close.

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Our upbringing was really good
and I think very traditional.

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- Basketball was the fulcrum
of our entire family.

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It was a way to commune at
the dinner table after a game

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and talk about the highlights
or ways you can improve

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or whatever it may be, it
just brought us together.

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Basketball became my life and
it meant everything to me.

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I never played to win.

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I played because I had to.

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Because I yearned to.

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I looked forward to every
game, every practice,

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every opportunity I had to
just lace up my sneakers

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and step out onto the court.

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When I played, I came to life.

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- [Announcer] 81% free-throw shooter.

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Both teams shooting.

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Three try by Lubin is good.

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Lubin on the penetration.

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The left-handed floater is good.

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There\'s a sophomore

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who\'s trying to take over
the game for New Trier

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- As a child, I couldn\'t
foresee the impact

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basketball would later have in my life,

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nor how greatly it would define who I was.

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- [Male Announcer] Lubin inside...

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(clapping)

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Six points the other night for Lauren

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against Cal State Fullerton,

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and she knocks down the first free throw.

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- [Announcer] How do you like this?

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Lubin has never missed a free
throw in her entire career.

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- [Announcer 2] I was holding my breath,

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I was holding my breath on that,

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because you know how it works.

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- [Announcer] The jinx, the

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- [Lauren] Quickly, I
discovered that everything

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wasn\'t all fun and games.

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- I think that high school

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was probably Lauren\'s
most comfortable years

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because Lauren thrived
athletically so much.

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It was very normal to be in
like just jeans and sweatpants.

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- I was so heavily dependent
upon my presentation

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and how I wanted to
express myself to the world

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through my clothes.

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That was my lifeline.

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That was my only means of communicating,

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so from the youngest of age,

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I knew how I wanted to dress,
I was so specific about it

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because that was me trying so
hard to communicate who I was,

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particularly when people said I was this

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and that really wasn\'t who I was.

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- Lauren was a total tomboy.

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It was like, oh, that\'s just, you know,

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Lauren\'s not a cheerleader,
Lauren plays basketball.

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And when I think back to
Lauren\'s high school days,

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there was no one more social,
no one with more friends.

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And whether that was a
mask or not, I don\'t know,

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I don\'t think so.

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- I knew that I was different
but I also felt valued

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because of perhaps my athletic ability,

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that sense of value within
my peer group was there.

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I saw that as something that
could be much more transcendent

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as an identity for me than,
you know, a gender identity

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that didn\'t work for me.

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(upbeat music)

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- [Announcer] Fashions
by, international design.

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- As I grew up, I felt
a growing disconnect

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between how I felt inside
and how people saw me,

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how people treated me, and
how I existed in this world.

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By high school, my body matured in ways

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which were so foreign to my sense of self

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that it felt as if I was
a stranger in my own home.

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I felt deceived by my own body

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but I couldn\'t understand
what was happening.

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You know, I felt like
\"What am I doing up here?\"

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Holidays were the worst for me.

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I grew up in a predominantly
Jewish neighborhood.

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We went to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs.

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I never identified with my
breasts from the youngest of age.

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When I did develop breasts,
it was just traumatic.

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And something that I
always felt I had to live

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with that trauma, always.

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I never knew that I

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could like actually do anything about it.

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I thought that every girl felt this way,

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like they were traumatized
by their breasts.

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Until I realized that that\'s not the case.

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I began each day with a ritual
that really said it all.

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A morning ritual that involved
me taking off my shirt,

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looking into the mirror,
and covering my chest.

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For those few moments each
morning, I was at peace.

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For those few moments, I
imagined what it would be like

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if my outward body matched
how I felt on the inside.

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I did this every morning for years

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before I made the connection.

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I realized that how I was
taught to view the world

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was incomplete.

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I realized that I didn\'t
identify as female

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and I certainly didn\'t identify as a male.

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I remember thinking \"How
is this even possible?\"

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- Figuring out my gender identity

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has been a lifelong process.

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I can even remember the first time

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that I started questioning
it because I was so young.

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My name is Tyler Ford

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and I\'m a 25 year old
agender writer and speaker.

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It took me a long time to put together

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that I was like feeling
dysphoric about my gender

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and my gender identity.

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I would, like, Google at
night like when I got home

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from school, like what is
this, what are these feelings?

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Like am I gay?

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And then I eventually
settled on that label

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even though that didn\'t fit me either.

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But eventually I did
settle on the term agender.

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And my pronouns, which
are they, them, and their.

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- I think that young people
more than ever before

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are aware of the fact
that gender is something

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that is constructed.

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I also think that
they\'re aware of the fact

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that trying to fit humans
into two categories

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is kind of ridiculous.

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That\'s the conversation I\'m
hearing all over the place.

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- I for sure only ever felt

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that there were two options for me.

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Well, of course to begin with,

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I only thought that there
was one option for me

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because I was assigned female at birth.

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That never, ever resonated with me.

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But I tried.

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I tried really hard.

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- The deeper you get into this work,

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everybody\'s gender non-conforming, right?

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It isn\'t one thing ever.

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- Very early in high school,

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I recognized, okay,
definitely experiencing things

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with my gender.

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But again, no room for that.

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No one was talking about it

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and no one even came out
in my school as anything.

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Those feelings scared me so much

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because I was already warned.

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I was playing, you know,
far advanced for my age

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and on kind of a fast track,
like definitely college bound.

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You know, everyone warned me
about the homophobia in college

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and all of these coaches
that won\'t recruit you.

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Or watch out for certain coaches.

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The moment I felt
anything, I was like nope.

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Because this was my dream

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and I loved it.

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And I think because from such
a early, early, early age

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I saw this really as the one identity

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that I really could fully be.

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And all these other identities,
I felt stopped at every turn

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where I saw this as my
only path a lot of times.

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I felt like I compromised myself

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rather than the sport that I loved.

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In college, the pressure to
fit in was greater than ever.

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I was now a public figure
and an ambassador of sorts.

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I represented a school
and a sport and a gender.

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To the public, I was a
woman\'s basketball player.

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A female first and a baller second.

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People expected me to act
and dress a certain way.

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And even though it was unnatural to me,

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I desperately tried to fit in.

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I joined a sorority, I wore
dresses, put on makeup,

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and wore heels that I could not walk in.

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It was awkward.

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And I felt trapped.

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I grew up in Chicago
during the Jordan era.

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My whole life was basketball.

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My mind actually never wandered
to any other possibility.

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I was living my dream and dying inside.

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And it really was either basketball

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which you\'ve done your whole life

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and look at this path ahead of you or

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this is your life.

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Everywhere I looked, things
were either pink or blue.

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Bathrooms, changing rooms, clothing.

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Everything was neatly
divided into male or female.

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And I had been trapped in
this since the day I was born.

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- I totally did not have any
language to describe myself.

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I didn\'t even know that there
were more than two genders,

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which like really would
have helped growing up,

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would have helped me feel much less alone

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and much less broken or like, you know,

00:14:07.790 --> 00:14:09.299
like something was wrong with me.

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- When you see the impact
of an entire institution

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saying \"Hey, you don\'t exist,

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\"therefore I have nothing I can do for you

00:14:16.830 --> 00:14:18.209
\"because you\'re not real.

00:14:18.210 --> 00:14:21.109
\"I mean, I\'m gonna either
cure you, I\'m gonna shame you,

00:14:21.110 --> 00:14:23.300
\"I\'m just gonna create no space for you.\"

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What bigger harm could you create?

00:14:29.500 --> 00:14:32.919
- I met Lauren when I was
27 in culinary school.

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I had just left my last startup.

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We were both very much at
transitional points in our lives,

00:14:39.010 --> 00:14:40.769
pursuing new passions.

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We instantly connected.

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I actually sat beside Lauren
on the first day of school.

00:14:44.630 --> 00:14:47.849
- I immediately just
hit it off with Kevin.

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I don\'t know, there was
just something about him

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where it was like I never
wanted to not be with him.

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We just became best friends.

00:14:54.750 --> 00:14:59.029
That was undeniable from
probably the first day

00:14:59.030 --> 00:15:00.419
we met each other.

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- At the beginning of our relationship,

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I very much just viewed Lauren
as one of my best friends

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who I deeply loved.

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The relationship definitely
blossomed as time went on

00:15:13.590 --> 00:15:15.039
and as we experienced

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and went through some
difficult life events together.

00:15:20.640 --> 00:15:23.329
During this time, I was
also building a tree house

00:15:23.330 --> 00:15:25.939
in Costa Rica in the
middle of the rainforest.

00:15:25.940 --> 00:15:28.699
And we always dreamed and
talked about how cool it\'d be

00:15:28.700 --> 00:15:30.219
to one day live there together.

00:15:30.220 --> 00:15:32.938
- Kevin called me, he was
in Montreal at the time,

00:15:32.939 --> 00:15:36.329
and he was like \"I\'m heading
down to the rainforest.\"

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- We were talking one day

00:15:37.380 --> 00:15:40.449
and decided now would be a
good time, let\'s make the move.

00:15:40.450 --> 00:15:43.720
Let\'s go to the tree house.

00:15:44.730 --> 00:15:45.680
- I didn\'t have to think twice.

00:15:45.681 --> 00:15:48.390
I mean, I picked up and just...

00:15:49.730 --> 00:15:50.870
You know, left.

00:15:53.730 --> 00:15:56.147
(calm music)

00:16:08.590 --> 00:16:10.729
I remember thinking at the time

00:16:10.730 --> 00:16:12.269
that this was either the best

00:16:12.270 --> 00:16:14.930
or the craziest decision of my life.

00:16:16.320 --> 00:16:19.120
I had initially planned to
go down for a short visit.

00:16:20.280 --> 00:16:23.700
That short visit turned into two years.

00:16:27.466 --> 00:16:29.509
- I mean, life in the jungle was crazy.

00:16:29.510 --> 00:16:31.020
It was such an adventure.

00:16:34.540 --> 00:16:35.829
- What I was going down there to do

00:16:35.830 --> 00:16:39.699
was really get this new
food service off the ground.

00:16:39.700 --> 00:16:41.879
But I definitely intended to go

00:16:41.880 --> 00:16:45.749
for a much shorter amount
of time than I went for.

00:16:45.750 --> 00:16:49.390
I mean, I just for the
first time felt myself free.

00:16:51.340 --> 00:16:54.259
- [Kevin] Any sense of
who you thought you were

00:16:54.260 --> 00:16:56.699
was constantly being redefined.

00:16:56.700 --> 00:17:00.470
For the most part, we
left the world behind us.

00:17:03.460 --> 00:17:05.199
- During the high season,

00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:07.789
I did vegan, sustainable, local catering

00:17:07.790 --> 00:17:09.419
to all the tree houses.

00:17:09.420 --> 00:17:12.299
During the rainy season,
it was much more lax.

00:17:12.300 --> 00:17:15.629
For someone who from such a young age had

00:17:15.630 --> 00:17:19.769
just a very strong sense of
like internal self knowing,

00:17:19.770 --> 00:17:23.009
this was definitely a time
I was not so sure of myself.

00:17:23.010 --> 00:17:24.809
This was where I actually
started the process

00:17:24.810 --> 00:17:27.439
of going within myself

00:17:27.440 --> 00:17:30.179
and having absolutely
no outside influences,

00:17:30.180 --> 00:17:32.569
particularly societal influences.

00:17:32.570 --> 00:17:37.400
I felt myself just like
evolving beyond even my own...

00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:40.280
I couldn\'t even keep up with myself.

00:17:41.690 --> 00:17:45.029
Once I was disconnected
from the society I knew,

00:17:45.030 --> 00:17:48.240
only then was I able to
truly look within myself.

00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:51.150
I had no other choice.

00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:56.660
Immediately, the layers of
myself began to strip away.

00:17:57.900 --> 00:18:01.779
For the first time, I
felt a sense of freedom

00:18:01.780 --> 00:18:03.620
and full of curiosity.

00:18:05.520 --> 00:18:07.059
- I think one of the biggest problems

00:18:07.060 --> 00:18:09.139
that a lot of human beings have is

00:18:09.140 --> 00:18:13.039
that we think that the things
we are taught are the truth.

00:18:13.040 --> 00:18:15.559
When you tell somebody
something as simple as the fact

00:18:15.560 --> 00:18:20.099
that only 50, 60 years ago
when a little boy was born,

00:18:20.100 --> 00:18:21.839
the color was pink

00:18:21.840 --> 00:18:25.187
and when a little girl was
born, the color was blue,

00:18:25.188 --> 00:18:29.149
just that simple fact
does something to shatter

00:18:29.150 --> 00:18:30.559
what we often think is true,

00:18:30.560 --> 00:18:32.519
which is that oh, it was always this way.

00:18:32.520 --> 00:18:34.649
Girls love pink and boys love blue

00:18:34.650 --> 00:18:37.039
and those are the two ways
of being, that\'s a fact.

00:18:37.040 --> 00:18:37.933
That\'s not a fact,

00:18:37.934 --> 00:18:39.819
that\'s something that
we created as a society.

00:18:39.820 --> 00:18:42.629
It\'s not even a global
truth right now, currently.

00:18:42.630 --> 00:18:46.840
- If you picture a graph
with an X and a Y axis

00:18:47.760 --> 00:18:48.769
and then you draw a Z axis,

00:18:48.770 --> 00:18:50.289
so like a three dimensional graph

00:18:50.290 --> 00:18:54.299
and you put gender
identity, expression, sex,

00:18:54.300 --> 00:18:56.689
and sexual orientation,

00:18:56.690 --> 00:18:59.639
the way we have always
thought about these things

00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:03.149
is that you\'re either right
at the axis of the three

00:19:03.150 --> 00:19:07.059
which would be straight, male, masculine

00:19:07.060 --> 00:19:10.999
or straight, female, and feminine.

00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:13.609
And the probability that everybody fits

00:19:13.610 --> 00:19:18.349
into these two points on
this wide open graph is zero.

00:19:18.350 --> 00:19:19.183
Right?

00:19:19.184 --> 00:19:20.769
And then as you start to break it down

00:19:20.770 --> 00:19:22.709
and particularly start to work with people

00:19:22.710 --> 00:19:25.059
who are trying to figure out who they are,

00:19:25.060 --> 00:19:27.089
you begin to see that it\'s not a line.

00:19:27.090 --> 00:19:29.499
It\'s just a big cloud of identity

00:19:29.500 --> 00:19:31.169
and none of these things correlate.

00:19:31.170 --> 00:19:32.449
And why would they?

00:19:32.450 --> 00:19:33.789
You know, when you think
about what would be

00:19:33.790 --> 00:19:36.269
the natural distribution of these things,

00:19:36.270 --> 00:19:39.229
they wouldn\'t all be exactly
in the very same place.

00:19:39.230 --> 00:19:41.259
But the bigger history of our society

00:19:41.260 --> 00:19:44.089
is those things are very,
very tightly aligned.

00:19:44.090 --> 00:19:47.870
But the more you begin to
delve, you see how untrue

00:19:47.871 --> 00:19:50.819
Not only untrue, but
impossible it would be

00:19:50.820 --> 00:19:54.009
that everybody would be
that closely identified

00:19:54.010 --> 00:19:56.910
and that those different
identities would be so connected.

00:20:01.270 --> 00:20:03.339
- Most honestly, what
drew me to the jungle

00:20:03.340 --> 00:20:06.099
aside from all of the
things I was, like, doing

00:20:06.100 --> 00:20:10.049
was this opportunity to actually
be and explore my being.

00:20:10.050 --> 00:20:12.269
They were very much baby steps.

00:20:12.270 --> 00:20:16.169
I think I took a gigantic step and leap

00:20:16.170 --> 00:20:18.859
when I had the drowning incident

00:20:18.860 --> 00:20:23.860
and that was perhaps the moment

00:20:24.020 --> 00:20:26.500
where things became really real.

00:20:27.700 --> 00:20:30.669
One weekend, Kevin and I went to the beach

00:20:30.670 --> 00:20:33.769
and decided to go for a midnight swim.

00:20:33.770 --> 00:20:35.139
I was like \"Let\'s go skinny dipping\"

00:20:35.140 --> 00:20:36.429
in the middle of the night.

00:20:36.430 --> 00:20:38.739
- We started walking into the ocean.

00:20:38.740 --> 00:20:41.659
- [Lauren] And the wave pulled us out.

00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:44.599
- Before we knew it, we
realized that our feet

00:20:44.600 --> 00:20:46.639
weren\'t touching the sand anymore

00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:49.809
and that we were actually
so far out in the water

00:20:49.810 --> 00:20:52.580
that we couldn\'t even get back easily.

00:20:53.860 --> 00:20:55.689
- [Lauren] We were essentially
caught in the middle

00:20:55.690 --> 00:20:58.389
of a riptide and we got separated.

00:20:58.390 --> 00:20:59.759
I got pulled way out.

00:20:59.760 --> 00:21:02.869
- [Kevin] That night,
when we began to swim,

00:21:02.870 --> 00:21:04.809
we thought it was going
to just be 10 minutes.

00:21:04.810 --> 00:21:07.559
That turned into at least
two hours of fighting

00:21:07.560 --> 00:21:09.339
for our lives, trying to stay above water.

00:21:09.340 --> 00:21:10.409
We couldn\'t see anything.

00:21:10.410 --> 00:21:13.289
It was way after midnight,
it was pitch dark.

00:21:13.290 --> 00:21:17.069
The only light in the sky
was a red blinking light

00:21:17.070 --> 00:21:19.199
from a cell phone tower in the distance.

00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:23.049
And I know that both Lauren
and I used that as a beacon

00:21:23.050 --> 00:21:24.210
to get back to land.

00:21:28.540 --> 00:21:30.739
- [Lauren] I just remember
at that moment recognizing

00:21:30.740 --> 00:21:35.599
that we were both in a very,
very, very bad situation.

00:21:35.600 --> 00:21:37.399
- I had actually made it back to the shore

00:21:37.400 --> 00:21:38.879
and I looked back and I saw

00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:41.749
that Lauren was way out
into the ocean, screaming.

00:21:41.750 --> 00:21:44.769
You could tell that Lauren was taking

00:21:44.770 --> 00:21:46.679
some of their last breaths.

00:21:46.680 --> 00:21:49.149
- I went through all
five stages of drowning.

00:21:49.150 --> 00:21:50.499
I got to the point in the riptide

00:21:50.500 --> 00:21:51.829
that I call the washing machine,

00:21:51.830 --> 00:21:53.280
that you just start tumbling.

00:21:54.330 --> 00:21:56.019
And I didn\'t even know
what was up or down anymore

00:21:56.020 --> 00:21:59.389
and there was very little access to air.

00:21:59.390 --> 00:22:04.239
And I vividly remember saying to myself

00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:05.840
\"This may be your last breath.\"

00:22:06.780 --> 00:22:08.139
It was in that moment where I felt

00:22:08.140 --> 00:22:11.319
as other points in my life,
when I didn\'t have a choice,

00:22:11.320 --> 00:22:13.538
I felt like I didn\'t have a choice.

00:22:13.539 --> 00:22:15.663
I must accept my death right now.

00:22:16.804 --> 00:22:18.403
The only thing left

00:22:18.404 --> 00:22:20.699
out of everything that I\'ve lived and did

00:22:20.700 --> 00:22:25.369
was I felt such a deep regret

00:22:25.370 --> 00:22:29.139
because I finally saw my
life for the first time.

00:22:29.140 --> 00:22:32.539
Like, I saw it and I wanted to live it.

00:22:32.540 --> 00:22:35.979
Like I just wanted to live
in that moment so badly

00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:38.149
because I think it was the first time

00:22:38.150 --> 00:22:41.041
I actually recognized what I had

00:22:41.042 --> 00:22:45.489
and that I was this whole
time existing and being.

00:22:45.490 --> 00:22:49.459
Despite all these things
that were saying no

00:22:49.460 --> 00:22:52.559
or feeling like I couldn\'t, I always was.

00:22:52.560 --> 00:22:54.859
And I was on my final breath

00:22:54.860 --> 00:22:57.709
and that, of all the things,

00:22:57.710 --> 00:23:00.289
was probably the most
heartbreaking of all.

00:23:00.290 --> 00:23:01.319
I felt like I failed.

00:23:01.320 --> 00:23:04.149
I succeeded in everything
that I\'ve done in my life

00:23:04.150 --> 00:23:06.889
and I absolutely failed myself.

00:23:06.890 --> 00:23:09.827
[Singing] Swimming, swimming,
in the swimming pool.

00:23:09.828 --> 00:23:12.939
When days are hot and days are
cold, in the swimming pool.

00:23:12.940 --> 00:23:15.890
Breast stroke, side stroke...

00:23:19.068 --> 00:23:21.818
(dramatic music)

00:23:39.070 --> 00:23:41.079
Just having my breath again,

00:23:41.080 --> 00:23:43.859
I recognized that I felt
like I was on borrowed time

00:23:43.860 --> 00:23:47.009
and there was nothing that
I could do moving forward

00:23:47.010 --> 00:23:51.839
if it wasn\'t to be truthful and authentic.

00:23:51.840 --> 00:23:53.810
I just couldn\'t even take another step

00:23:54.670 --> 00:23:57.319
unless it was a step that was in alignment

00:23:57.320 --> 00:23:58.930
with my heart and myself.

00:24:00.840 --> 00:24:04.179
I just, I couldn\'t shake
that regret and that feeling

00:24:04.180 --> 00:24:06.559
and that knowing and it
lives with me to this day.

00:24:06.560 --> 00:24:08.250
I feel it every day.

00:24:10.740 --> 00:24:12.779
- If you were assigned female at birth.

00:24:12.780 --> 00:24:14.729
- You should identify as a woman.

00:24:14.730 --> 00:24:16.849
- Express yourself in a feminine manner.

00:24:16.850 --> 00:24:18.150
- And be attracted to men.

00:24:20.340 --> 00:24:23.729
- There are many ways that
a person can identify,

00:24:23.730 --> 00:24:26.029
so it makes sense that
confusion around these topics

00:24:26.030 --> 00:24:28.779
still persists because we don\'t
have a full understanding.

00:24:28.780 --> 00:24:31.073
But it\'s time to learn the facts.

00:24:31.074 --> 00:24:33.694
- [Doctor] Sex is not gender.

00:24:33.695 --> 00:24:38.695
And sex refers specifically to your body

00:24:39.120 --> 00:24:42.629
and it doesn\'t refer to any preferences

00:24:42.630 --> 00:24:46.149
in terms of connections
with other people physically

00:24:46.150 --> 00:24:50.699
nor does it refer to how
you manifest in the world

00:24:50.700 --> 00:24:52.839
or what you feel on the inside

00:24:52.840 --> 00:24:54.959
in terms of your own identity.

00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:56.349
- Gender is separate from sex

00:24:56.350 --> 00:24:59.019
and is broken down into two aspects:

00:24:59.020 --> 00:25:01.439
gender identity and gender expression.

00:25:01.440 --> 00:25:02.519
Gender identity relates

00:25:02.520 --> 00:25:04.539
to how a person defines who they are.

00:25:04.540 --> 00:25:06.479
Examples of gender identities are:

00:25:06.480 --> 00:25:07.313
- Man.

00:25:07.313 --> 00:25:08.203
- Woman.

00:25:08.203 --> 00:25:09.036
- Agender.

00:25:09.036 --> 00:25:09.869
- Bigender.

00:25:09.869 --> 00:25:10.702
- Genderless.

00:25:10.702 --> 00:25:11.537
- Genderqueer.

00:25:11.537 --> 00:25:12.430
- Gender neutral.

00:25:12.431 --> 00:25:13.459
- Trans man.

00:25:13.460 --> 00:25:14.460
- Trans woman.

00:25:16.450 --> 00:25:19.029
- And that\'s not a complete
and exhaustive list.

00:25:19.030 --> 00:25:20.159
Gender expression is

00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:22.509
how one expresses their gender identity.

00:25:22.510 --> 00:25:24.699
- And that is complicated.

00:25:24.700 --> 00:25:27.119
Part of it is about how you want to look

00:25:27.120 --> 00:25:28.179
and present to the world,

00:25:28.180 --> 00:25:30.529
but for many people it\'s about safety.

00:25:30.530 --> 00:25:34.429
And so your gender
expression could be different

00:25:34.430 --> 00:25:36.219
from your gender identity.

00:25:36.220 --> 00:25:38.459
- People show their gender expression

00:25:38.460 --> 00:25:41.519
through their clothing,
through their hairstyles,

00:25:41.520 --> 00:25:43.349
through makeup.

00:25:43.350 --> 00:25:45.589
- And that may have nothing
to do with how you feel

00:25:45.590 --> 00:25:47.089
about yourself, it has much more to do

00:25:47.090 --> 00:25:49.119
with your perceived safety in the world.

00:25:49.120 --> 00:25:51.209
- [Tyler] Sexual orientation defines

00:25:51.210 --> 00:25:53.669
who a person is attracted to.

00:25:53.670 --> 00:25:55.919
- It could mean anything.

00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:56.830
- Heterosexual.

00:25:56.831 --> 00:25:57.999
- Homosexual.

00:25:58.000 --> 00:25:59.105
- Bisexual.

00:25:59.106 --> 00:26:00.129
- Pansexual.

00:26:00.130 --> 00:26:01.167
- Asexual.

00:26:01.168 --> 00:26:02.009
- Polysexual.

00:26:02.034 --> 00:26:07.030
- The historical sort of gay
or straight or bi divisions

00:26:08.070 --> 00:26:11.388
may not necessarily apply depending on

00:26:12.050 --> 00:26:16.499
not only how you identify but
to whom you are attracted.

00:26:16.500 --> 00:26:21.309
So that can also be varied
beyond those three descriptors

00:26:21.310 --> 00:26:23.639
in that you could be attracted to people

00:26:23.640 --> 00:26:27.539
who don\'t fit into the gender
binary or even the sex binary

00:26:27.540 --> 00:26:30.789
and as such, then it\'s harder to define.

00:26:30.790 --> 00:26:34.209
So like the other two, I
would say sexual identity

00:26:34.210 --> 00:26:36.560
or orientation is this continuum also.

00:26:37.802 --> 00:26:39.527
- [Director] There it is!

00:26:39.528 --> 00:26:40.361
We got it.

00:26:40.362 --> 00:26:43.889
(laughs and applauds)

00:26:43.890 --> 00:26:46.069
- I remember at the time,

00:26:46.070 --> 00:26:47.669
when I was first expressing to Kevin,

00:26:47.670 --> 00:26:49.339
saying I just feel neutral.

00:26:49.340 --> 00:26:51.669
I don\'t feel male, I don\'t feel female.

00:26:51.670 --> 00:26:54.499
I just feel like neutral,
like gender neutral.

00:26:54.500 --> 00:26:56.299
I don\'t care if I\'m the
only one in the world

00:26:56.300 --> 00:26:57.639
who identified this way.

00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:00.379
This is the most authentic
I can express myself to you.

00:27:00.380 --> 00:27:02.849
I think when I saw for the first time

00:27:02.850 --> 00:27:06.189
that there was something else out there

00:27:06.190 --> 00:27:09.339
that could reflect my self back to me,

00:27:09.340 --> 00:27:12.429
it allowed me to really move forward.

00:27:12.430 --> 00:27:15.099
When I came out, it really
just took a ton of research.

00:27:15.100 --> 00:27:17.799
I\'m talking like I researched
months and months and months

00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:20.489
in advance before I really told people

00:27:20.490 --> 00:27:21.450
and was ready to come out,

00:27:21.451 --> 00:27:22.849
because I knew it was something

00:27:22.850 --> 00:27:26.129
that was so, at the time, different.

00:27:26.130 --> 00:27:28.249
I feel like I put together
like a spreadsheet

00:27:28.250 --> 00:27:29.539
and like a PowerPoint for people

00:27:29.540 --> 00:27:31.659
and that\'s really what I
had to do when I came out

00:27:31.660 --> 00:27:34.189
because you\'ll never forget
the looks on people\'s faces.

00:27:34.190 --> 00:27:35.609
I identify as gender neutral

00:27:35.610 --> 00:27:37.949
and nobody knew that there could be gender

00:27:37.950 --> 00:27:41.539
outside of cisgender male or female.

00:27:41.540 --> 00:27:43.289
It\'s just this dumbstruck look

00:27:43.290 --> 00:27:47.139
and almost this look of
they don\'t believe you.

00:27:47.140 --> 00:27:48.449
- It was a little scary for me.

00:27:48.450 --> 00:27:50.459
Once I was able to digest it,

00:27:50.460 --> 00:27:53.809
I think it was hard not to think about it

00:27:53.810 --> 00:27:56.668
in terms of \"What does this mean for me?\"

00:27:56.669 --> 00:27:59.339
and internalize it and
maybe be selfish with it.

00:27:59.340 --> 00:28:01.809
- Frightening is probably
the best word for it.

00:28:01.810 --> 00:28:06.810
Because there was so much room

00:28:07.310 --> 00:28:10.949
for such negative things to happen.

00:28:10.950 --> 00:28:15.709
And these are the people
that you love the most.

00:28:15.710 --> 00:28:17.489
- There is a lack of understanding,

00:28:17.490 --> 00:28:19.399
there is a lack of awareness

00:28:19.400 --> 00:28:21.187
for myself and I think the family

00:28:21.188 --> 00:28:23.009
just because I didn\'t know how to take it

00:28:23.010 --> 00:28:26.569
because I didn\'t understand it.

00:28:26.570 --> 00:28:30.159
- Everyone\'s reactions were fairly similar

00:28:30.160 --> 00:28:33.086
of \"Okay, we support you, we
don\'t really understand this.\"

00:28:33.087 --> 00:28:34.600
And I think a lot of it was

00:28:36.120 --> 00:28:38.109
\"Oh my god, we have a family
member that identifies

00:28:38.110 --> 00:28:40.819
\"as not even a gender that exists.\"

00:28:40.820 --> 00:28:43.289
You know, I think there\'s
like a lot of personal fear

00:28:43.290 --> 00:28:45.199
of what other people are going to think.

00:28:45.200 --> 00:28:47.089
Kevin being Kevin, he like
pretty much put together

00:28:47.090 --> 00:28:48.659
a portfolio for me.

00:28:48.660 --> 00:28:52.399
He had all this, like,
history and you know,

00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:54.159
cultural and historical relativism

00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:56.739
from different times
and all over the world,

00:28:56.740 --> 00:28:59.719
both past and present and current.

00:28:59.720 --> 00:29:01.919
It was at that moment where I was like

00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:06.599
\"Why isn\'t there any, like, information?\"

00:29:06.600 --> 00:29:10.669
- If I had known that
nonbinary identities existed

00:29:10.670 --> 00:29:13.379
when I was like 19, 20,
and first transitioning,

00:29:13.380 --> 00:29:15.829
who knows what my life
would have looked like

00:29:15.830 --> 00:29:16.879
or would look like now.

00:29:16.880 --> 00:29:18.999
- The defining moment
for me as an individual,

00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:21.299
like \"Oh, this has always been.

00:29:21.300 --> 00:29:23.349
\"How come we haven\'t
talked about this ever?\"

00:29:23.350 --> 00:29:26.799
And then \"Why aren\'t
there enough resources?\"

00:29:26.800 --> 00:29:29.219
There was probably one
other person who identified

00:29:29.220 --> 00:29:32.119
as gender neutral, one
in the entire research.

00:29:32.120 --> 00:29:33.989
- For sure the internet has been

00:29:33.990 --> 00:29:35.939
like the most valuable resource for me

00:29:35.940 --> 00:29:37.809
in figuring out who I am.

00:29:37.810 --> 00:29:39.979
- The thing with social
media is that it allows

00:29:39.980 --> 00:29:42.869
for visibility that was
never before possible.

00:29:42.870 --> 00:29:45.279
We put ourselves in the public eye.

00:29:45.280 --> 00:29:46.809
I\'ve talked to so many people who say

00:29:46.810 --> 00:29:49.099
\"I didn\'t understand who I
was, I didn\'t know who I was,

00:29:49.100 --> 00:29:51.489
\"I didn\'t know anything about
myself, I was so confused,

00:29:51.490 --> 00:29:54.549
\"and then I saw people on
my dash that looked like me,

00:29:54.550 --> 00:29:56.919
\"that felt like me, and
that\'s what allowed me

00:29:56.920 --> 00:29:58.809
\"to understand who I was.\"

00:29:58.810 --> 00:30:00.665
- One of the first talks
I ever had with Lauren

00:30:00.666 --> 00:30:04.319
about the top surgery,

00:30:04.320 --> 00:30:07.739
Lauren told me that they just
never thought it was possible.

00:30:07.740 --> 00:30:10.409
- You know, this was perhaps
the most authentic thing

00:30:10.410 --> 00:30:12.466
I could have done and I was worried

00:30:12.467 --> 00:30:15.065
that it would completely
invalidate who I was.

00:30:15.066 --> 00:30:17.729
I was willing to take that risk.

00:30:17.730 --> 00:30:20.494
- To my mind, the history
of medicine is first of all

00:30:20.495 --> 00:30:23.609
that it was completely
left to the community,

00:30:23.610 --> 00:30:26.519
it was hostile and traumatizing.

00:30:26.520 --> 00:30:29.179
People were doing this on the street

00:30:29.180 --> 00:30:31.589
from people from whom
they could buy hormones

00:30:31.590 --> 00:30:35.639
in ways that were not only
unsafe but also ill-defined.

00:30:35.640 --> 00:30:38.199
They were developing their own care.

00:30:38.200 --> 00:30:40.259
And that\'s a really powerful idea.

00:30:40.260 --> 00:30:43.639
You know, people really saying
\"I need this thing so much

00:30:43.640 --> 00:30:47.189
\"that I will define it, get it,

00:30:47.190 --> 00:30:49.799
\"probably put myself at
some risk in getting it,

00:30:49.800 --> 00:30:51.519
\"just to get to be me.\"

00:30:51.520 --> 00:30:54.299
You know, which is, it\'s a huge concept.

00:30:54.300 --> 00:30:58.239
- I think medicine has been
traveling down one road

00:30:58.240 --> 00:31:01.029
for so long and now it\'s been challenged

00:31:01.030 --> 00:31:03.839
with a totally different
type of health care.

00:31:03.840 --> 00:31:05.469
- Some people do and some people don\'t.

00:31:05.470 --> 00:31:09.619
I\'m one of the people who also
had a physical transition.

00:31:09.620 --> 00:31:12.809
\"Oh, well, Lauren\'s
gonna identify as this.\"

00:31:12.810 --> 00:31:15.979
No, like this is also
part of that path for me.

00:31:15.980 --> 00:31:18.739
Even if people didn\'t
fully say it to my face,

00:31:18.740 --> 00:31:20.039
I felt a ton of resistance.

00:31:20.040 --> 00:31:23.479
Which people had no
problem saying to my face.

00:31:23.480 --> 00:31:27.579
- In medical school, we\'re
taught of this as a pathology.

00:31:27.580 --> 00:31:30.329
- At least during my time
was you\'re fully recognized

00:31:30.330 --> 00:31:32.559
as human and you\'re fully
recognized for who you are

00:31:32.560 --> 00:31:33.729
the moment you come out,

00:31:33.730 --> 00:31:37.599
I had to be told that I had
a disorder and accept it

00:31:37.600 --> 00:31:40.739
and then have somebody make
decisions on my behalf.

00:31:40.740 --> 00:31:44.519
And that couldn\'t be a more
dehumanizing experience.

00:31:44.520 --> 00:31:47.440
And you have to have such
a strong mind to do that

00:31:48.460 --> 00:31:50.159
while also having a disorder.

00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:51.140
- Back when I was in medical school,

00:31:51.141 --> 00:31:53.369
homosexuality was considered a pathology.

00:31:53.370 --> 00:31:57.103
You know, which it\'s not even
a question now that it\'s not.

00:31:57.104 --> 00:31:58.709
Somebody will say \"Hey, I don\'t like you

00:31:58.710 --> 00:32:00.375
\"because you\'ve got brown hair.\"

00:32:00.376 --> 00:32:02.014
Well, this is my hair,
it\'s how it is, tough.

00:32:02.015 --> 00:32:03.189
You know, that\'s how.

00:32:03.190 --> 00:32:04.090
So I don\'t consider it a disorder

00:32:04.091 --> 00:32:05.369
because I don\'t have blond hair.

00:32:05.370 --> 00:32:08.509
The same thing as far as
gender or even sexuality,

00:32:08.510 --> 00:32:09.529
that\'s who you are.

00:32:09.530 --> 00:32:12.509
- This is something that
people need to survive.

00:32:12.510 --> 00:32:16.429
You know, this is not an
option, this is not elective.

00:32:16.430 --> 00:32:18.450
This is something that people need.

00:32:20.260 --> 00:32:22.560
- I booked an appointment
to have top surgery,

00:32:23.620 --> 00:32:26.619
a double mastectomy that
will allow my outside body

00:32:26.620 --> 00:32:28.590
to match how I felt on the inside.

00:32:31.560 --> 00:32:33.359
Dr. Charles Garramone performs

00:32:33.360 --> 00:32:36.120
over 400 top surgery procedures a year

00:32:37.990 --> 00:32:41.109
and is only one of a handful
of experts specializing

00:32:41.110 --> 00:32:42.549
in the procedure.

00:32:42.550 --> 00:32:44.909
I just remember walking
into the doctor\'s office

00:32:44.910 --> 00:32:46.569
and everyone around me looked like me.

00:32:46.570 --> 00:32:48.682
And I just felt home.

00:32:48.683 --> 00:32:50.489
I\'d never actually been
to the doctor\'s office

00:32:50.490 --> 00:32:52.319
or around so many people that were like,

00:32:52.320 --> 00:32:55.199
it was specifically
tailored to your needs.

00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:56.897
It was for the first
time I saw my reflection.

00:32:56.898 --> 00:32:59.869
I remember it was like
being hit by a train almost.

00:32:59.870 --> 00:33:01.619
I felt like I was experiencing
my most basic human rights

00:33:01.620 --> 00:33:02.570
for the first time.

00:33:02.571 --> 00:33:03.969
I was like \"Wow, I
actually haven\'t had them

00:33:03.970 --> 00:33:05.300
\"this whole time.\"

00:33:07.942 --> 00:33:08.775
(knocks)

00:33:08.775 --> 00:33:09.775
- Okay.

00:33:11.850 --> 00:33:13.409
You ready for tomorrow?

00:33:13.410 --> 00:33:14.243
- Yes.

00:33:14.243 --> 00:33:15.076
- Okay, alright, great.

00:33:15.076 --> 00:33:15.909
I\'m gonna go through everything.

00:33:15.910 --> 00:33:17.358
Went through your medical
records, paperwork,

00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:19.889
everything like that, and
it all looks very good.

00:33:19.890 --> 00:33:21.516
I\'m gonna give you a cape to change into.

00:33:21.517 --> 00:33:22.350
- Okay.

00:33:22.351 --> 00:33:23.529
- You need to have your shirt off.

00:33:23.530 --> 00:33:26.509
If you\'re wearing a binder, you
need to have the binder off.

00:33:26.510 --> 00:33:27.343
That\'s it.

00:33:27.344 --> 00:33:28.904
Alright, be back in just a few minutes.

00:33:30.628 --> 00:33:33.045
(calm music)

00:33:43.258 --> 00:33:45.500
- This is really surreal for me right now.

00:33:48.080 --> 00:33:51.678
Just to see what my chest
is going to look like.

00:33:51.679 --> 00:33:53.108
Or potentially look like.

00:33:53.109 --> 00:33:57.706
And I just can\'t believe it\'s happening.

00:33:57.707 --> 00:33:59.868
I\'m really, really excited.

00:33:59.869 --> 00:34:02.789
I feel like I\'ve arrived home.

00:34:02.790 --> 00:34:04.919
- I find a lot of patients who contact us

00:34:04.920 --> 00:34:06.759
don\'t really have that hard line,

00:34:06.760 --> 00:34:09.249
I\'m male, I\'m female anymore.

00:34:09.250 --> 00:34:13.309
And it\'s probably a condition
of the type of practice

00:34:13.310 --> 00:34:15.979
that I have that I
interact with more people

00:34:15.980 --> 00:34:18.349
who are considered more of a genderfluid.

00:34:18.350 --> 00:34:20.639
I have my set patients
who, hey look, I\'m male,

00:34:20.640 --> 00:34:22.499
I\'m 100% male, this is how I feel.

00:34:22.500 --> 00:34:24.029
But then I have a lot
of other patients too

00:34:24.030 --> 00:34:26.519
who are kind of like,
well, I\'m sort of male

00:34:26.520 --> 00:34:27.809
but I still feel kind of female

00:34:27.810 --> 00:34:29.029
or I kind of feel like I\'m in the middle.

00:34:29.030 --> 00:34:31.889
So I think there\'s a nice
pendulum and a spectrum

00:34:31.890 --> 00:34:35.639
of gender identity that can
swing kind of either way.

00:34:35.640 --> 00:34:37.159
And I don\'t think there\'s any way

00:34:37.160 --> 00:34:39.979
you can actually really tell
somebody what their gender is.

00:34:39.980 --> 00:34:41.530
They know what their gender is.

00:34:44.240 --> 00:34:45.279
I\'ll be meeting with you tomorrow

00:34:45.280 --> 00:34:46.113
in the pre-op area.

00:34:46.114 --> 00:34:47.879
I\'ll be marking your chest
where the incisions are going,

00:34:47.880 --> 00:34:49.679
where the nipple position\'s going to be.

00:34:49.680 --> 00:34:50.513
You go back,

00:34:50.514 --> 00:34:52.339
surgery takes about an
hour and a half to perform.

00:34:52.340 --> 00:34:53.819
Don\'t raise your arms overhead,

00:34:53.820 --> 00:34:55.149
don\'t reach for something far away

00:34:55.150 --> 00:34:55.983
because when you do this,

00:34:55.984 --> 00:34:57.689
you can actually rip your incisions open.

00:34:57.690 --> 00:35:00.319
Try to keep your arms down by
your side as much as possible.

00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:02.649
No heavy lifting, no strenuous activities,

00:35:02.650 --> 00:35:04.039
nothing to get your heart rate elevated

00:35:04.040 --> 00:35:05.999
because this can cause bleeding.

00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:09.629
- As Dr. Garramone explained
the details of the surgery,

00:35:09.630 --> 00:35:11.730
my mind and heart were racing.

00:35:13.140 --> 00:35:15.040
I was about to go under the knife.

00:35:16.630 --> 00:35:20.920
But it was a small price to
pay to finally feel myself.

00:35:26.940 --> 00:35:29.949
For so long, I felt that I was living life

00:35:29.950 --> 00:35:33.489
through a one way mirror where
I can see and hear the world

00:35:33.490 --> 00:35:34.969
but the world couldn\'t see or hear me.

00:35:34.970 --> 00:35:36.799
And I felt like I was screaming at times,

00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:38.479
like waving my hands.

00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:39.789
The whole world would pass by.

00:35:39.790 --> 00:35:41.409
And that\'s why I felt like I was drowning.

00:35:41.410 --> 00:35:44.140
Like how come no one can see me?

00:35:45.320 --> 00:35:47.820
There\'d be no more binding
my chest every morning.

00:35:49.260 --> 00:35:51.189
No more having to always be hunched over,

00:35:51.190 --> 00:35:52.790
trying to hide my breasts.

00:35:54.580 --> 00:35:55.710
No more shame.

00:35:57.040 --> 00:35:58.040
I was ready.

00:36:03.466 --> 00:36:05.716
(applause)

00:36:44.730 --> 00:36:46.749
- [Interviewer] Who is \"they?

00:36:46.750 --> 00:36:48.019
- In which context?

00:36:48.020 --> 00:36:49.489
- [Interviewer] You said
that they always knew

00:36:49.490 --> 00:36:50.350
that they needed...

00:36:50.351 --> 00:36:52.379
- I\'m referring to Lauren.

00:36:52.380 --> 00:36:54.469
I try to use they.

00:36:54.470 --> 00:36:55.470
They, their.

00:36:57.235 --> 00:36:58.959
Gender neutral pronouns.

00:36:58.960 --> 00:36:59.950
- [Interviewer] Got you, got you, got you.

00:36:59.951 --> 00:37:04.950
- It\'s so necessary for
us to have the language

00:37:05.220 --> 00:37:06.249
to talk about ourselves.

00:37:06.250 --> 00:37:08.279
- I don\'t know by looking
at you what your gender is.

00:37:08.280 --> 00:37:10.039
I don\'t know by asking
you what your name is

00:37:10.040 --> 00:37:11.079
what your gender is.

00:37:11.080 --> 00:37:14.259
I don\'t even know based on
your body what your gender is

00:37:14.260 --> 00:37:16.069
because that\'s something unique to you.

00:37:16.070 --> 00:37:17.809
- It\'s so much easier to just ask someone

00:37:17.810 --> 00:37:19.379
like \"What are your pronouns?\"

00:37:19.380 --> 00:37:21.269
It should be as common
as \"What is your name?\"

00:37:21.270 --> 00:37:22.639
- I think people are afraid to ask

00:37:22.640 --> 00:37:24.469
and I think that\'s a huge conversation

00:37:24.470 --> 00:37:26.059
that we all need to be having,

00:37:26.060 --> 00:37:29.869
that asking somebody what
pronouns they use is respectful

00:37:29.870 --> 00:37:30.939
and wonderful.

00:37:30.940 --> 00:37:33.339
- Using someone\'s pronouns is important

00:37:33.340 --> 00:37:35.876
because that\'s who they are.

00:37:35.877 --> 00:37:39.089
- It\'s not \"I\'m gonna tell you who to be.\"

00:37:39.090 --> 00:37:41.079
It\'s \"You tell me who you are.\"

00:37:41.080 --> 00:37:44.289
- You would never just
call Rebecca \"Becky\".

00:37:44.290 --> 00:37:46.759
Or you would never call Rebecca \"Sandra\".

00:37:46.760 --> 00:37:50.689
Like, you wouldn\'t just
use the wrong name.

00:37:50.690 --> 00:37:53.159
So why would you use the wrong pronoun?

00:37:53.160 --> 00:37:54.889
That makes no sense.

00:37:54.890 --> 00:37:59.789
Like using someone\'s pronouns
is just the correct way

00:37:59.790 --> 00:38:00.640
to refer to them.

00:38:00.641 --> 00:38:03.209
- Having someone change
pronouns is really important.

00:38:03.210 --> 00:38:05.084
It\'s not something that comes naturally,

00:38:05.085 --> 00:38:07.129
it doesn\'t happen easily right away,

00:38:07.130 --> 00:38:08.349
but that isn\'t an indication

00:38:08.350 --> 00:38:10.479
that it isn\'t incredibly important.

00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:12.819
And all you have to do for yourself

00:38:12.820 --> 00:38:14.279
is think about how you would feel

00:38:14.280 --> 00:38:16.059
if somebody was referring to
you with the wrong pronouns,

00:38:16.060 --> 00:38:17.139
whatever they may be.

00:38:17.140 --> 00:38:20.049
If somebody was referring
to me as he all the time,

00:38:20.050 --> 00:38:22.309
that would be, I mean,
it wouldn\'t feel like me

00:38:22.310 --> 00:38:23.459
because it wouldn\'t be me.

00:38:23.460 --> 00:38:25.879
And that\'s how anyone feels who\'s asking,

00:38:25.880 --> 00:38:27.889
\"Hey, these are my
pronouns, please use them.\"

00:38:27.890 --> 00:38:30.859
When you don\'t use them,
you\'re just invalidating them.

00:38:30.860 --> 00:38:32.479
You\'re erasing them
and you\'re telling them

00:38:32.480 --> 00:38:35.099
that their understanding of themselves

00:38:35.100 --> 00:38:38.059
is not as important as
your understanding of them.

00:38:38.060 --> 00:38:42.049
And we owe anyone that
respect of doing that work

00:38:42.050 --> 00:38:43.629
because the alternative is
that they don\'t get to feel

00:38:43.630 --> 00:38:46.722
like a person so that I can
feel comfortable saying a word.

00:38:46.723 --> 00:38:48.809
You know, that\'s not cool.

00:38:48.810 --> 00:38:52.149
- I feel like the people
who brush my identities off

00:38:52.150 --> 00:38:54.719
as like not a big deal or like
\"Oh, why do you need labels?\"

00:38:54.720 --> 00:38:56.899
or \"We\'re all human\" or whatever,

00:38:56.900 --> 00:38:58.769
they\'re coming from a
position of privilege

00:38:58.770 --> 00:39:02.069
where they grow up knowing their identity.

00:39:02.070 --> 00:39:03.899
Like their identity is laid out for them,

00:39:03.900 --> 00:39:06.609
it\'s like you see it in every movie,

00:39:06.610 --> 00:39:08.159
you read about it in every book,

00:39:08.160 --> 00:39:10.579
you see it displayed like in your lives,

00:39:10.580 --> 00:39:13.139
you see it with like your
teachers and your parents,

00:39:13.140 --> 00:39:16.229
and you have so many models
and so many possibilities.

00:39:16.230 --> 00:39:17.899
But for people like me,

00:39:17.900 --> 00:39:21.299
who don\'t see themselves
reflected in other people

00:39:21.300 --> 00:39:25.369
or in the media or anywhere,
it\'s so, so important

00:39:25.370 --> 00:39:29.009
to have the terms to be
able to navigate myself

00:39:29.010 --> 00:39:30.730
and to contextualize my life.

00:39:36.174 --> 00:39:38.757
(gentle music)

00:39:54.332 --> 00:39:57.369
- After all these years
of my entire lifetime

00:39:57.370 --> 00:40:00.469
of wanting to see that
reflection in the mirror,

00:40:00.470 --> 00:40:02.279
you know, wanting to see this person

00:40:02.280 --> 00:40:04.059
finally looking back at you,

00:40:04.060 --> 00:40:05.949
having the surgery but not
being able to see yourself

00:40:05.950 --> 00:40:07.589
for a week was like...

00:40:07.590 --> 00:40:10.979
Just almost like torture for me.

00:40:10.980 --> 00:40:13.069
You know, now that I\'m post-op

00:40:13.070 --> 00:40:17.289
and everything\'s going
smoothly as of right now

00:40:17.290 --> 00:40:22.290
and I\'m really excited, I still
haven\'t had the opportunity

00:40:23.110 --> 00:40:25.749
to tell many people in my life

00:40:25.750 --> 00:40:28.599
that I\'ve had this step.

00:40:28.600 --> 00:40:29.949
It needed to be a celebration.

00:40:29.950 --> 00:40:31.609
It truly didn\'t feel
like it was celebrated.

00:40:31.610 --> 00:40:32.899
Because how could you?

00:40:32.900 --> 00:40:35.499
I mean, it was very misunderstood.

00:40:35.500 --> 00:40:39.609
I\'ve wanted to keep
this so sacred to myself

00:40:39.610 --> 00:40:41.419
because it\'s such a celebration.

00:40:41.420 --> 00:40:42.789
I think that was the hardest thing for me

00:40:42.790 --> 00:40:44.519
was I wanted to share
this moment with people

00:40:44.520 --> 00:40:48.409
but because I feel like there
was so much misunderstanding,

00:40:48.410 --> 00:40:51.910
fear, and I think a lot of
grief in a lot of people,

00:40:53.120 --> 00:40:54.999
it\'s not a celebration,
it\'s like a funeral.

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:58.819
I feel like I want to
call everybody right now

00:40:58.820 --> 00:41:02.300
and just let them know that I did it.

00:41:03.430 --> 00:41:04.640
You know, I...

00:41:08.614 --> 00:41:10.697
(crying)

00:41:22.310 --> 00:41:23.620
I finally did it.

00:41:25.200 --> 00:41:28.199
I just couldn\'t believe I
had the courage to do it,

00:41:28.200 --> 00:41:30.959
you know, and I had the
opportunity to do it,

00:41:30.960 --> 00:41:32.770
and that my life was beginning.

00:41:33.830 --> 00:41:37.469
I find myself picking up the
phone and putting it down

00:41:37.470 --> 00:41:42.470
or wanting to text or call
somebody and not just...

00:41:46.660 --> 00:41:48.079
Because I can\'t.

00:41:48.080 --> 00:41:50.699
Having to, like, suddenly
let go of this person

00:41:50.700 --> 00:41:55.450
who perhaps they had dreams
for and aspirations for,

00:41:56.330 --> 00:41:58.689
thought that I should be or wanted to be,

00:41:58.690 --> 00:42:00.139
of course you\'re going to grieve that.

00:42:00.140 --> 00:42:03.419
It\'s like literally the loss of a person.

00:42:03.420 --> 00:42:08.260
It was a sense of mourning for Lauren as

00:42:08.261 --> 00:42:10.145
the daughter,

00:42:10.150 --> 00:42:13.949
the sister, the girlfriend.

00:42:13.950 --> 00:42:15.819
You know, you have to let people mourn.

00:42:15.820 --> 00:42:19.399
It happened on a very
micro and macro level.

00:42:19.400 --> 00:42:22.221
It affected every aspect of my life

00:42:22.222 --> 00:42:25.860
and I witnessed grief in
every aspect of my life.

00:42:31.710 --> 00:42:34.127
(calm music)

00:42:50.110 --> 00:42:51.051
- Hey, how you doing?

00:42:51.051 --> 00:42:51.910
- Good.

00:42:51.911 --> 00:42:53.530
- Alright, so you\'re ready?

00:42:53.531 --> 00:42:54.850
- Yes.

00:42:54.851 --> 00:42:56.507
- You\'ve recovered pretty well?

00:42:56.508 --> 00:42:57.341
- Yeah.

00:42:57.342 --> 00:42:59.199
- A lot of pain, low pain?

00:42:59.200 --> 00:43:00.709
- Pretty mild.

00:43:00.710 --> 00:43:01.543
- [Doctor] Pretty mild?

00:43:01.543 --> 00:43:02.543
- Yeah.

00:43:03.715 --> 00:43:05.599
- Your hair\'s already grown back.

00:43:05.600 --> 00:43:09.100
It\'s like clean last week, now it\'s grown.

00:43:11.056 --> 00:43:12.056
Now what we\'re gonna have you do

00:43:12.057 --> 00:43:14.466
is kind of scoot your tuckus
forward a little bit here,

00:43:14.467 --> 00:43:16.007
kinda lean forward.

00:43:16.008 --> 00:43:18.917
We\'ll take the bandages off now.

00:43:18.918 --> 00:43:21.506
Put your elbows up on top here.

00:43:21.507 --> 00:43:23.231
So we\'re gonna save this bandage for you

00:43:23.232 --> 00:43:27.815
in case you develop any
swelling or anything like that.

00:43:30.102 --> 00:43:31.102
There we go.

00:43:32.662 --> 00:43:34.397
Now we got this bony prominence,

00:43:34.398 --> 00:43:36.370
which is part of your skeletal structure,

00:43:36.371 --> 00:43:39.399
that\'s something that
came out on your surgery.

00:43:39.400 --> 00:43:41.629
And in the center, it shows on your top.

00:43:41.630 --> 00:43:42.630
But just...

00:43:45.448 --> 00:43:46.865
- I\'m so excited.

00:43:48.168 --> 00:43:49.416
- You can look down, you can look down.

00:43:49.417 --> 00:43:51.757
Now this is your bony
prominence right here, okay?

00:43:51.758 --> 00:43:53.730
Even though you had this your life,

00:43:53.731 --> 00:43:56.394
now the rest has gotten
it, see it very good.

00:43:56.395 --> 00:43:57.315
I\'m gonna have you stand up.

00:43:57.316 --> 00:43:59.861
Let\'s go look in a mirror here.

00:43:59.862 --> 00:44:01.604
You look so happy.

00:44:01.605 --> 00:44:02.600
So basically you can see

00:44:02.601 --> 00:44:05.231
your chest has very mild
small ripples, wrinkles.

00:44:05.232 --> 00:44:08.271
That\'s all gonna smooth out
in the next several weeks.

00:44:08.272 --> 00:44:09.882
Don\'t worry, it\'s all written
down in case you forget.

00:44:09.883 --> 00:44:10.965
- Okay.

00:44:10.966 --> 00:44:12.549
- Tape strips here.

00:44:14.670 --> 00:44:16.154
Move your arms out to the side.

00:44:16.155 --> 00:44:18.303
Like that, you can see nice and flat.

00:44:18.304 --> 00:44:20.304
The side, on both sides.

00:44:21.542 --> 00:44:22.998
That is very, very good.

00:44:22.999 --> 00:44:24.159
Alright?

00:44:24.160 --> 00:44:26.175
- Okay, I didn\'t hear anything you said.

00:44:26.176 --> 00:44:27.927
(laughs)

00:44:27.928 --> 00:44:29.800
I\'m just too excited.

00:44:36.384 --> 00:44:37.546
- Alright, that\'s awesome.

00:44:37.547 --> 00:44:38.380
Okay?

00:44:38.381 --> 00:44:39.415
Alright, congrats.

00:44:39.416 --> 00:44:43.666
Just need to step out and
sign the paperwork, okay?

00:44:45.485 --> 00:44:46.485
Here we go.

00:44:49.744 --> 00:44:52.827
- This is the coolest day of my life.

00:44:55.630 --> 00:44:58.689
I feel like I can
finally, like, see myself,

00:44:58.690 --> 00:45:03.310
see myself as I\'ve always been.

00:45:17.430 --> 00:45:19.059
- It\'s not just like one person

00:45:19.060 --> 00:45:20.809
if somebody feels like more themselves,

00:45:20.810 --> 00:45:22.632
they\'re gonna be able
to go out in public more

00:45:22.633 --> 00:45:26.519
and be more of a productive
person and be a happier person

00:45:26.520 --> 00:45:28.170
and hopefully treat people nicer.

00:45:31.230 --> 00:45:34.989
- I 100% think that this
is a human rights issue.

00:45:34.990 --> 00:45:38.419
From, you know, like we
said, a fundamental denial

00:45:38.420 --> 00:45:41.869
of existence, to having
people in your office

00:45:41.870 --> 00:45:43.409
and traumatizing them.

00:45:43.410 --> 00:45:48.019
- Not having access to such
basic things like housing

00:45:48.020 --> 00:45:53.020
and jobs and health care
clearly affect our lives.

00:45:55.140 --> 00:45:57.079
Like if there\'s a male
bathroom and a female bathroom,

00:45:57.080 --> 00:45:59.706
I have to decide what I look like

00:45:59.707 --> 00:46:02.979
and which one I\'m gonna go
into if I\'m going to at all.

00:46:02.980 --> 00:46:05.519
Like maybe I\'m just gonna
hold it till I get home

00:46:05.520 --> 00:46:07.679
in who knows how many hours.

00:46:07.680 --> 00:46:08.969
Who\'s gonna be in the bathroom?

00:46:08.970 --> 00:46:10.729
Like, are they gonna kick
me out of the bathroom?

00:46:10.730 --> 00:46:11.979
Am I gonna get harassed?

00:46:11.980 --> 00:46:13.419
Is like security gonna come?

00:46:13.420 --> 00:46:15.429
And of course you can\'t
plan for all these things

00:46:15.430 --> 00:46:16.869
but there\'s so many things

00:46:16.870 --> 00:46:19.739
that cis people don\'t have to think about.

00:46:19.740 --> 00:46:21.849
- There have been times
when we would go out

00:46:21.850 --> 00:46:23.919
and I would have to
physically restrain people

00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:25.399
from attacking Lauren.

00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:28.219
- You know, there are a lot of places

00:46:28.220 --> 00:46:30.239
that I just don\'t go because I know

00:46:30.240 --> 00:46:31.909
that I\'m not gonna feel safe there,

00:46:31.910 --> 00:46:33.519
I know that I\'m not gonna be acknowledged,

00:46:33.520 --> 00:46:36.479
that my identity is not
gonna be acknowledged,

00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:37.769
that I\'m gonna be misgendered.

00:46:37.770 --> 00:46:41.129
So I like have to pick
and choose very carefully

00:46:41.130 --> 00:46:43.879
like how and when and
where I spend my time

00:46:43.880 --> 00:46:46.159
so that I feel the most safe.

00:46:46.160 --> 00:46:50.379
- Things are changing but I
still can\'t fill out forms.

00:46:50.380 --> 00:46:52.569
I don\'t have a legal identity.

00:46:52.570 --> 00:46:53.599
- There are human beings

00:46:53.600 --> 00:46:55.149
who are trying to apply for college,

00:46:55.150 --> 00:46:56.669
who are trying to go to the bathroom,

00:46:56.670 --> 00:46:58.359
who are trying to live in a dorm room,

00:46:58.360 --> 00:47:00.929
who are trying to do all of
these things just to exist

00:47:00.930 --> 00:47:03.179
and they can\'t because
there\'s no room for them,

00:47:03.180 --> 00:47:04.609
there\'s no box for them to check.

00:47:04.610 --> 00:47:07.999
But to actually live in that
body, to live in that identity,

00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:10.399
and to really not have a box to check,

00:47:10.400 --> 00:47:12.359
it does so much to you.

00:47:12.360 --> 00:47:14.059
It tells you that you don\'t exist,

00:47:14.060 --> 00:47:15.899
it tells you that you\'re not recognized,

00:47:15.900 --> 00:47:17.789
and that applies to so many other things

00:47:17.790 --> 00:47:20.649
that are happening past
just that application.

00:47:20.650 --> 00:47:23.169
- Like I\'m always, always
thinking about my safety

00:47:23.170 --> 00:47:25.559
and thinking about how
I\'m being perceived.

00:47:25.560 --> 00:47:28.570
And really I just want to go
out and like live my life.

00:47:31.030 --> 00:47:33.026
- When you change one identity,

00:47:33.027 --> 00:47:35.199
a lot of times that affects
other identities as well.

00:47:35.200 --> 00:47:38.069
So me no longer identifying as female,

00:47:38.070 --> 00:47:40.559
well then what does that mean
for your sexual orientation?

00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:42.210
- Everyone exists in a spectrum.

00:47:43.100 --> 00:47:45.849
And to limit yourself to love somebody

00:47:45.850 --> 00:47:48.599
based on what label you give them,

00:47:48.600 --> 00:47:50.209
I think things are changing.

00:47:50.210 --> 00:47:52.459
- A lot of times, because
of all these labels,

00:47:52.460 --> 00:47:55.579
we deny so much of our own ability

00:47:55.580 --> 00:48:00.539
to just logistically be
together or have a relationship.

00:48:00.540 --> 00:48:05.209
Although I was like madly in
love, you know, with Kevin.

00:48:05.210 --> 00:48:08.319
- People will actually
begin to love people

00:48:08.320 --> 00:48:11.329
for who they genuinely are.

00:48:11.330 --> 00:48:15.849
- I\'m no longer gonna put
a restriction on my heart.

00:48:15.850 --> 00:48:20.489
- The reality is that bathrooms
and clothing, even love,

00:48:20.490 --> 00:48:22.329
they don\'t have an inherent gender.

00:48:22.330 --> 00:48:27.330
- Kevin is super smart,
really funny, my best friend.

00:48:27.770 --> 00:48:29.959
- It\'s that human that
I fell in love with,

00:48:29.960 --> 00:48:32.469
it\'s that human that I connect with.

00:48:32.470 --> 00:48:34.059
- I truly feel like he\'s my soul mate.

00:48:34.060 --> 00:48:36.039
We came from very different backgrounds

00:48:36.040 --> 00:48:38.369
and yet somehow met each
other in the middle.

00:48:38.370 --> 00:48:39.789
- [Kevin] The longer I\'m with Lauren,

00:48:39.790 --> 00:48:42.780
the more I\'m able to fully understand

00:48:42.781 --> 00:48:46.470
how antiquated our idea
of gender actually is.

00:48:48.980 --> 00:48:51.499
- I think because of who I am

00:48:51.500 --> 00:48:53.949
and the uniqueness of our relationship,

00:48:53.950 --> 00:48:55.879
people come with all
these preconceived notions

00:48:55.880 --> 00:48:57.789
and they hang out with us for like an hour

00:48:57.790 --> 00:49:00.449
or like a few times, and they\'re like

00:49:00.450 --> 00:49:02.799
\"You guys are like boringly normal.\"

00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:04.329
- I only want to be with Lauren

00:49:04.330 --> 00:49:05.629
and that\'s the only person

00:49:05.630 --> 00:49:07.629
that I want to share my life with.

00:49:07.630 --> 00:49:08.649
- I think going through the process

00:49:08.650 --> 00:49:10.909
of stripping away so much,
we\'re able to just be like

00:49:10.910 --> 00:49:13.659
\"I love you for you,

00:49:13.660 --> 00:49:15.049
\"and I love you and I want to be with you.

00:49:15.050 --> 00:49:17.750
\"Like I don\'t want to not
live my life with you ever.\"

00:49:19.590 --> 00:49:23.909
- What I\'m witnessing as
Lauren goes down this journey

00:49:23.910 --> 00:49:26.839
with helping other people who
are in the same situation,

00:49:26.840 --> 00:49:28.749
it\'s just how many other
people are out there

00:49:28.750 --> 00:49:31.199
who identify this way.

00:49:31.200 --> 00:49:32.919
They truly do exist.

00:49:32.920 --> 00:49:35.169
- Just because certain things
are the way they are now

00:49:35.170 --> 00:49:37.839
does not mean that they\'re
going to always be that way.

00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:39.679
You don\'t have to settle.

00:49:39.680 --> 00:49:41.239
- People are people are people.

00:49:41.240 --> 00:49:44.969
And we all deserve to live
comfortably in our own skin.

00:49:44.970 --> 00:49:49.399
I just feel like I have Lauren back.

00:49:49.400 --> 00:49:51.169
I still have a tremendous amount to learn

00:49:51.170 --> 00:49:53.549
but if I\'m not willing to kind of jump in

00:49:53.550 --> 00:49:56.439
and learn for myself
and get educated myself,

00:49:56.440 --> 00:49:59.229
then I\'m really not being supportive.

00:49:59.230 --> 00:50:00.719
- Things are heading in a great direction

00:50:00.720 --> 00:50:02.809
and particularly in New York State,

00:50:02.810 --> 00:50:04.179
things are heading in a good direction

00:50:04.180 --> 00:50:06.829
in terms of insurance
covering more every day,

00:50:06.830 --> 00:50:08.749
it\'s becoming more mainstream,

00:50:08.750 --> 00:50:11.779
younger and younger kids
are being understood

00:50:11.780 --> 00:50:13.809
as being gender non-conforming

00:50:13.810 --> 00:50:16.689
versus being forced into a gender role.

00:50:16.690 --> 00:50:19.949
There are gender
non-conforming play groups.

00:50:19.950 --> 00:50:22.139
- I\'m really excited
about the conversations

00:50:22.140 --> 00:50:23.179
that are happening right now.

00:50:23.180 --> 00:50:26.249
I think more than ever
before, certainly in my life,

00:50:26.250 --> 00:50:28.089
people are talking about this,

00:50:28.090 --> 00:50:31.209
people are saying \"I
don\'t fit here or there.

00:50:31.210 --> 00:50:33.049
\"This isn\'t okay that you\'re telling me

00:50:33.050 --> 00:50:35.019
\"that I have to fit here or there.\"

00:50:35.020 --> 00:50:38.029
And the visibility, the
visibility that places like Tumblr

00:50:38.030 --> 00:50:41.369
and Facebook and Twitter and
Instagram give to all of us

00:50:41.370 --> 00:50:44.979
is so powerful and it\'s
allowing young people especially

00:50:44.980 --> 00:50:49.309
to mobilize and to not
tolerate being excluded,

00:50:49.310 --> 00:50:52.879
being rendered invisible, being
told that they don\'t exist.

00:50:52.880 --> 00:50:55.759
- Everyone deserves to be able

00:50:55.760 --> 00:50:57.439
to contextualize their experiences.

00:50:57.440 --> 00:51:02.440
Everyone deserves to feel
grounded in their identity.

00:51:02.490 --> 00:51:06.999
Everyone deserves to live the
life that they want to live

00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:08.999
and that feels authentic to them.

00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:11.359
- It\'s a really exciting time to be alive

00:51:11.360 --> 00:51:13.679
and to be participating
in the conversation

00:51:13.680 --> 00:51:15.569
because change is happening

00:51:15.570 --> 00:51:18.689
and I think that we all
need to pay attention to it

00:51:18.690 --> 00:51:20.399
and keep that momentum moving

00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:22.679
and allow young people
the space that they need

00:51:22.680 --> 00:51:26.169
to really, really champion this cause.

00:51:26.170 --> 00:51:28.709
- My advice also is to
like just build community

00:51:28.710 --> 00:51:30.930
in any way that you can.

00:51:32.270 --> 00:51:34.039
And to always know that there are people

00:51:34.040 --> 00:51:37.519
who love and support you
for exactly who you are.

00:51:37.520 --> 00:51:40.999
And I mean, it might take a
while to find those people

00:51:41.000 --> 00:51:43.950
and that is very hard and I
definitely don\'t discount that,

00:51:46.420 --> 00:51:50.529
but we are out here living
and trying to find you

00:51:50.530 --> 00:51:51.740
and love you.

00:51:56.340 --> 00:51:57.887
- [Interviewer] Great. Let\'s cut.

00:51:57.888 --> 00:51:58.888
- Okay.

00:52:01.037 --> 00:52:02.454
- Ronan, Chicago.

00:52:03.476 --> 00:52:04.509
I exist.

00:52:04.510 --> 00:52:06.537
- Sage, Portland.

00:52:06.538 --> 00:52:07.633
I exist.

00:52:07.634 --> 00:52:10.051
- Maya, Enfield, Connecticut.

00:52:10.930 --> 00:52:12.329
I exist.

00:52:12.330 --> 00:52:14.199
- Aaron, Oakland.

00:52:14.200 --> 00:52:15.599
I exist.

00:52:15.600 --> 00:52:17.940
- Devon, Midland, Texas.

00:52:18.950 --> 00:52:20.409
I exist.

00:52:20.410 --> 00:52:21.889
- Mel, Lincoln.

00:52:21.890 --> 00:52:23.110
I exist.

00:52:23.111 --> 00:52:24.778
- Graham, Clairmont.

00:52:25.844 --> 00:52:26.902
I exist.

00:52:26.903 --> 00:52:28.329
- Flo, Calabone.

00:52:28.330 --> 00:52:30.029
I exist.

00:52:30.030 --> 00:52:31.939
- Devon, Dallas.

00:52:31.940 --> 00:52:33.579
I exist.

00:52:33.580 --> 00:52:35.469
- Callie, UK.

00:52:35.470 --> 00:52:36.709
I exist.

00:52:36.710 --> 00:52:39.209
- Jenna, Oakland.

00:52:39.210 --> 00:52:40.359
I exist.

00:52:40.360 --> 00:52:42.459
- Carter, Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

00:52:42.460 --> 00:52:43.549
I exist.

00:52:43.550 --> 00:52:45.069
- Jake, Portland.

00:52:45.070 --> 00:52:46.179
I exist.

00:52:46.180 --> 00:52:48.269
- Dallas, LA.

00:52:48.270 --> 00:52:49.571
I exist.

00:52:49.572 --> 00:52:51.109
- Cinzia, Italy.

00:52:51.110 --> 00:52:52.020
I exist.

00:52:52.021 --> 00:52:54.335
- Sar, California.

00:52:54.336 --> 00:52:55.806
I exist.

00:52:55.807 --> 00:52:57.108
- Ari, Vancouver.

00:52:57.109 --> 00:52:58.508
I exist.

00:52:58.509 --> 00:52:59.759
- Owen, Denver.

00:53:00.804 --> 00:53:02.276
I exist.

00:53:02.277 --> 00:53:03.610
- Kate, Augusta.

00:53:04.572 --> 00:53:06.230
I exist.

00:53:06.231 --> 00:53:07.814
- Aubrey, Portland.

00:53:09.020 --> 00:53:10.399
I exist.

00:53:10.400 --> 00:53:12.979
- Kayden Gray, Sante Fe.

00:53:12.980 --> 00:53:14.169
I exist.

00:53:14.170 --> 00:53:15.870
- Kyle Ryan from Mesa.

00:53:16.900 --> 00:53:18.489
I exist.

00:53:18.490 --> 00:53:21.359
- Jess, Aotearoa, New Zealand.

00:53:21.360 --> 00:53:22.759
I exist.

00:53:22.760 --> 00:53:25.149
- Chloe, Buffalo, New York.

00:53:25.150 --> 00:53:26.150
I exist.

00:53:27.200 --> 00:53:30.499
- My name is Diana and I\'m from California

00:53:30.500 --> 00:53:31.500
and I exist.

00:53:32.983 --> 00:53:35.566
(gentle music)

00:54:17.000 --> 00:54:18.100
- [Lauren] This is me.

00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:20.730
My name is Lauren.

00:54:29.680 --> 00:54:32.097
(calm music)