Stroke
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
Soon after getting married, Boris Baberkoff, a 33-year-old German cellist, suffers a stroke while visiting New York City. His wife, the filmmaker instinctively reaches for her video camera and begins to document her husband's outstanding healing process, she shares their innermost thoughts and feelings and creates a portrait of a couple in extraordinary circumstances emerges.
It all starts as a home video of the newlyweds on their trip to the United States. Suddenly Boris collapses and their entire world is turned upside down. Boris is suffering from a life threatening brain-stem stroke. He is locked inside his own brain. He can hear but is unable to move or communicate; his chances of recovery seem very slim. He needs years of physical therapy and constant medical attention in order to regain his life back.
While death remains physically close at first, it is with the passing years that the psychological strain tears at their relationship. A new everyday life of having to cope with Boris's handicap overwhelms them both at times - if not every single day. Plagued by anxiety regarding their ability to survive and disturbed by their new status as misfits, their relationship is heavily stressed.
This documentary is Katarina's video diary of the tragedy that hits them. She meticulously records her husband's arduous fight to find a path back to the outside world and represents her own state of mind, her feelings of hope and despair, love and hate, responsibility and guilt, through dream sequences and metaphorical scenes where she is seen sitting, knitting what turns out, in the course of the film, to be the shape of a 'brain.'
'[STROKE] is a film that radiates courage. A neatly structured and edited documentary, Katarina Peters's STROKE deserved its armful of prizes.' -Kinema
'Katarina Peters daringly crosses the line between fiction and documentary... a moving story.' -Herald Tribune
Citation
Main credits
Althoff, Burkhard (film producer)
Baberkoff, Boris (screenwriter)
Peters, Katarina (film director)
Peters, Katarina (screenwriter)
Peters, Katarina (narrator)
Other credits
Music, Boris Baberkoff; editors, Friederike Anders, Petra Heymann, Marian Bichler; director of photography, Katarina Peters, Christopher Rowe, bvk, Roger von Heereman.
Distributor subjects
Disabilities; Family Relations; Fanlight Collection; Health Care Issues; Health Issues; Medicine; Neuroscience and NeurologyKeywords
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.000
[sil.]
00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:29.999
I had just turned 40 when I meet Boris.
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:34.999
[sil.]
00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:39.999
He\'s brazen and direct. A
real gun-ho kind of guy.
00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:44.999
I\'d never fallen for
anyone like that before.
00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:49.999
Boris is 8 years my junior and
he\'s always love being on
00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:54.999
camera. His entire
Hungarian, Bulgarian family
00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:59.999
consists of musicians,
composers, and conductors.
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:04.999
Little do they know he\'s
already entered new musical
00:01:05.000 --> 00:01:09.999
territory.
00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:14.999
[music] I fell in love
with him on the spot.
00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:19.999
I too wanted to break with my old life.
00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:24.999
I played business women for 10
years and that was now history.
00:01:25.000 --> 00:01:29.999
Boris liked to bring his cello over and
compose and I\'d get out my old camera
00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:34.999
and experiment. We even went to his
recording studio and did a piece together.
00:01:35.000 --> 00:01:39.999
He completely inspired me.
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:44.999
And I knew it\'s now or never.
00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:49.999
[sil.]
00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:54.999
[music] The wedding was in May 1998.
00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:59.999
I sold my business and bought
Boris a blue neck grand piano.
00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:04.999
From now on we wanted to live
new lives to discover each
00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:09.999
day anew.
00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:14.999
I recall a theory which I had 20
years before. The art piece to come
00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:19.999
as the construction of a life of passion.
00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:24.999
[sil.]
00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:29.999
And then I had a strange dream.
00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:34.999
I\'m building a violin.
00:02:35.000 --> 00:02:43.000
[sil.] The violin\'s interior
00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:49.999
is very spacious. I\'d love
to slip down deep inside
00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:54.999
it when no one can disturb me.
00:02:55.000 --> 00:03:03.000
[music] December 1998, we
are flying to New York.
00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:09.999
We have big plans.
00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:14.999
We want to negotiate the record
deal with Boris\' manager
00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:19.999
and we hope that he likes his new piece.
It\'s called,
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:24.999
\"Something\'s Missing\". I finally
work on a new project too.
00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:29.999
I\'ve bought a new camera for
my documentary film about the
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:34.999
American art market.
00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:39.999
[sil.] Benjamin Franklin,
Benjamin Franklin.
00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:44.999
We walk all over town.
00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:49.999
I\'d of preferred to start
on my film research
00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:54.999
right away but Boris wants to
go to the Disney store first.
00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:59.999
After all it\'s his first time in America.
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:04.999
I show him Fifth Avenue and Time Square.
00:05:05.000 --> 00:05:13.000
Hours later we even managed to
visit my favorite art gallery.
00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:29.999
[sil.]
00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:34.999
I\'m especially attracted to one object.
It reminds me of something or other
00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:39.999
but Boris is rushing me. He\'s
obsessed with going to the Army store
00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:44.999
and buying a real American camouflage suit.
00:05:45.000 --> 00:05:49.999
We are staying with my
old friends, Chris and
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:54.999
Genevieve. Can you explain me. I want to
understand. I was going to write it down
00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:59.999
so. When I get to (crosstalk).
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:04.999
Building the arms, Martin,
Lockheed, Marietta,
00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:09.999
Grumman and they all, and they
all eventually merge into one
00:06:10.000 --> 00:06:18.000
big motherfucker.
00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:39.999
[sil.]
00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:44.999
Suddenly Boris has to vomit.
At first I think
00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:49.999
the food didn\'t agree with him. He says
that his face and his left leg feel
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:54.999
completely numb. Call for help.
00:06:55.000 --> 00:07:03.000
[sil.] They say Boris is suffering
a stroke in his brain stem.
00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:43.000
[sil.] His life is hanging by a thread.
00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:54.999
I hope I\'ll wake up any moment
and it\'s all just a dream.
00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:59.999
I hold on to my camera tightly
00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:04.999
and start keeping a meticulous
diary so that nothing slips beyond
00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:09.999
my grasp.
00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:18.000
[sil.] Boris is now only
semi-conscious state.
00:08:25.000 --> 00:08:29.999
They still can\'t say if he\'ll pull
00:08:30.000 --> 00:08:34.999
through or not.
00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:39.999
[sil.] After two nights without
sleep they sent me home.
00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:48.000
[sil.] One question keeps tormenting me.
00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:54.999
Stupid thoughts went through my mind.
00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:59.999
Did I push him to much?
00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:04.999
I\'m not good for him. I give off negative
00:09:05.000 --> 00:09:09.999
energy. Whatever I love dies.
00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:14.999
I fall in love and say,
yes and the next moment
00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:19.999
the guy keels over and wants to die.
00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:24.999
What the hell was he thinking
just leaving me like that.
00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:33.000
[sil.] The head doctor wants to
explain the diagnoses to me,
00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:44.999
brain stem stroke. Dead
tissue made its way into
00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:49.999
the brain and blocked the main artery.
00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:54.999
As a result a major part of
his brain stem has died. What
00:09:55.000 --> 00:09:59.999
exactly does that mean, I
ask and demand an answer.
00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:04.999
Have I ever heard of locked-in syndrome?
00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:09.999
It\'s when a patient is fully conscious but
is locked inside his cortex cerebrum.
00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:14.999
He\'s able to hear and blink his eyes a bit
00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:19.999
but he can\'t make contact
or express himself.
00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:28.000
[sil.] By the third day they still
can\'t say if he\'ll pull through.
00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:34.999
They say I\'ll be grateful if he can
sit up in a wheel chair one day.
00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:39.999
At night I make calls
with Germany and can\'t
00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:44.999
get a wink of sleep. His parents want
to know if his condition has changed.
00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:49.999
Then at 5:00 in the morning the
German AAA returns my call.
00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:54.999
By now I can only stemmer.
00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:59.999
Each additional day in the
hospital costs about $3,000.
00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:04.999
Our insurance is refusing to cover the
cost. How to explain this to the people
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:09.999
at the hospital.
00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:14.999
I need to get him out of here.
00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:23.000
[sil.]
00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:39.999
Every night I surf the Internet.
Nobody wants to tell me the truth.
00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:44.999
How should I picture this
00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:49.999
locked-in syndrome? Will Boris
ever be able to speak to me
00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:54.999
or will he ever be able to put
on his silly camouflage suit
00:11:55.000 --> 00:11:59.999
my himself.
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:04.999
[sil.] I constantly film the
back wall of the temple outside
00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:09.999
my window. Whenever they hold a service
there the window is lit up in red.
00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:14.999
Two pigeons are always
sitting on the ledge.
00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:19.999
I can\'t stop watching. If one of
the pigeons flies away it means
00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:24.999
that Boris will die.
00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:33.000
[sil.] A voice inside me wants to
00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:39.999
tell him that he can die if he wants to.
That I won\'t hold on to him.
00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:48.000
[sil.] After 10 days,
00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:59.999
we\'re informed that Boris will survive.
00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:04.999
But what his life will be like if
he remains locked in his cerebrum,
00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:09.999
no one will say.
00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:14.999
[sil.] The absolute number one rule,
00:13:15.000 --> 00:13:19.999
spread positive energy in his presence.
We talk to Boris a lot.
00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:24.999
We stroke and massage him. We
invent rituals, lay hands on him,
00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:29.999
believe in miracles.
Nothing is left untried.
00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:38.000
[sil.]
00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:44.999
Despite all the efforts Boris is
showing no significant reactions.
00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:49.999
[sil.]
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:58.000
[music]
00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:14.999
[sil.]
00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:23.000
[music]
00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:09.999
It\'s the music that reopens the
window to the outside for him.
00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:14.999
Of course, how simple. It\'s his medium
00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:23.000
[music]
00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:44.999
Boris, we\'re going to do
some therapy now. Okay.
00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:49.999
So, we want you to lift your arm up and
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:54.999
down. Every day tiny
improvements can be seen.
00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:59.999
The right side of the body
is becoming more active.
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:04.999
One, two. Don\'t drop, don\'t drop.
I realize that
00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:09.999
I\'m getting more confident.
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:14.999
[sil.] On New Year\'s Eve I
leave Boris by himself.
00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:19.999
A friend of mine picks me up from the
hospital to go out and celebrate.
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:28.000
[sil.]
00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:34.999
After just 5 minutes I
can\'t take it anymore.
00:16:35.000 --> 00:16:39.999
Happy New Year. Soon
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:44.999
I\'ll have to take Boris home with his wheelchair and
all the tubes. And I\'ll have to wheel him around
00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:49.999
the block once a day. I don\'t want
to imagine having to spend the rest
00:16:50.000 --> 00:16:54.999
of my life with a mute, immobile man.
00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:59.999
Happy New Year, 1999.
00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:04.999
(crosstalk) Excuse me Miss, What\'s
your name again? Katarina. Katarina.
00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:09.999
(inaudible) Let\'s go. Hey, Happy New Year.
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:14.999
All right. Right at the
beginning of the year the
00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:19.999
German AAA calls me. They can transfer
Boris the day after tomorrow.
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:24.999
The doctors advise against it.
He\'s not stable enough.
00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:29.999
I finally decide to risk the
transport and get Boris
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:34.999
back to Germany.
00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:39.999
The German AAA will cover
the transport costs.
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:48.000
[sil.] After months at Beth Israel
Medical Center Boris is taken
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.999
back to Berlin in a flying
intensive care unit
00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:09.999
I\'m not allowed to fly with him.
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.999
So, I stay behind the $350,000 debt hanging
00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:19.999
over me. We didn\'t have any
overseas health insurance.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:28.000
[sil.]
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.999
[music] Three days later I too
am able to fly back to Berlin.
00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:39.999
I say good bye to my friends.
They try hard to make my mind
00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.999
off things.
00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:49.999
[sil.]
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:54.999
But in my head I\'m
completely somewhere else.
00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:59.999
[sil.]
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:04.999
At home.
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:09.999
[sil.] I\'m almost afraid
to see Boris again.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:14.999
But he arrived safely in Berlin.
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:19.999
His father was there to greet him.
And all the tubes
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:28.000
have been removed.
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:49.999
His progress
00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:55.000
is making me feel euphoric.
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:13.000
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:44.999
Now I recognize what I\'m crocheting,
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.999
it\'s the brain stem which has lost
nerve fibers through the stroke.
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.999
I imagine the synapses sizzling
00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.999
and life coming out new paths.
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.999
I sincerely believe that mind can change
00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:10.000
matter.
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:28.000
[sil.]
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:49.999
January 15, 1999, Boris is standing on
his own feet again for the first time.
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:55.000
How is that possible if the stroke
destroyed all control over his movements.
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
(foreign)
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
I must find out
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:15.000
whether the dead regions of the brain can
be precisely targeted and then revived.
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:30.000
[sil.]
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:53.000
[sil.] Is this the same Boris
from just a few weeks ago.
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:08.000
[sil.] How strange.
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
I built it with such devotion and
never even noticed that in fact
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
it\'s a cripple.
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
The neck is attached backwards to the body.
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
It just can\'t be that I created it.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
I know everything beforehand.
00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:43.000
[sil.] We packed up Boris\' sound
studio and moved it all here.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.999
I urgently need to find out everything
about his professional career.
00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
I\'m obligated to provide
for him if has no pension
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
or if he ever paid into a pension plan.
00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
But he\'s so wrapped up into himself
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
I just can\'t burden him with such
00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
trivial questions.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:28.000
[sil.]
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:45.000
[music]
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
In fact, Boris is doing pretty well.
His appetite at any rate is enormous.
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
Each morning he orders 10
cream cheese rolls and the
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
nurses give him an extra serving at lunch.
00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
For desert he loves to eat a
whole bar of chocolate in go.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:55.000
[sil.]
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:13.000
[sil.] January 15th, 1999,
00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
Boris has reached the next stage. The
neurological rehabilitation clinic.
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
One hour\'s drive from Berlin.
He can hardly wait to be given
00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
new challenges.
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:35.000
[music]
00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:45.000
[sil.]
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:45.000
[non-English narration]
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
[sil.] What on earth has happened
to our love, to our plans?
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
We were such an inspiration to each other.
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
And I so wanted to get back to my artwork.
00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
Now nothing will come of it once again.
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:38.000
[music]
00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
Every visit to the clinic means
hours of driving and the tank
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
is empty again.
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
The buses and train take at
least three times as long.
00:28:55.000 --> 00:29:00.000
[music]
00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:13.000
[music]
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
And then I realized that I\'ve already been
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
working on a new film for a time. But
what exactly is it that I\'m dealing
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
with here.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:58.000
At times it seems as if I\'m just using Boris as a test
object. But for me it\'s like a continuous self-encounter.
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:13.000
As if I\'m writing with a camera. It\'s been
three months now since he\'s had the stroke.
00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
[sil.]
00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
Perhaps this will be one of
the highlights in the film.
00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
And yet I\'ve shot endless hours of my
material about his battle to get back
00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
on his feet.
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
[sil.]
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
Later on no one will be able to imagine how much
this repetitive task determine our daily lives.
00:30:55.000 --> 00:31:03.000
[sil.] Boris thinks it\'s great that
I want to try and turn our story
00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
into a film expose. But he says, in reality
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
it\'s the physiotherapist
who are the true artist.
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:23.000
[music] Felix the violin
maker has brought Boris\'
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:35.000
cello.
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:48.000
[music]
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:18.000
[music]
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:30.000
[sil.]
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
Since his left side is paralyzed, his left
arm is also affected. The one he uses
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:48.000
to hold the cello. A musician\'s
discipline helps him practice.