All That I Am
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
After five years in the foster system, eighteen-year-old Emilie returns to her family home to rebuild a fractured relationship with her mother and younger half-siblings. She wants to heal the trauma that haunts her, and move towards a self-determined future. To do that, Emilie must gather the courage to reveal to her half-siblings the reason their father was imprisoned. Told with a commitment to emotional insight and dedication to Emilie’s subjective experience, this is the story of an extraordinarily courageous young woman finding the voice that was long denied to her.
Elisabeth Nærestad, BTI leader for Arendal municipality
"Emilie’s voice speaks to both the head and the heart, and I think that is very important in order to mobilize the courage needed to uncover and prevent child abuse.”
Arne Johannessen, chief for Sogn og Fjordane in the Western Police District
"I hope everyone who has been here today has found something to reflect on, not least regarding seeing the small things.”
Karoline Astrup, Parish Priest
“Within the church it is also easy to forget (or fail to acknowledge) our responsibility to reinforce and encourage those voices that highlight injustice and betrayal. Few social institutions in our country are in contact with a larger swath of the population than the Church of Norway - from cradle to grave, in all life’s phases. It not only provides a great opportunity to reach many, but an equally great responsibility.”
Kjersti M. Finsrud, public health nurse
"An intimate and powerful film that shows the breadth of consequences for a young person who has been the victim of sexual abuse. The effect on her development both emotionally and cognitively reveals the damage inflicted on her body, heart and soul. It touched me deeply and made me see even clearer how crucial it is that all adults working with children and young people know what to do when they discover or suspect that a child has been the victim of violence or abuse.”
Erik Førde, Public Prosecutor
"Seeing the film about Emilie is quite powerful. I've never forgotten Emilie. That introduction to the judge's questioning where she says she's been in child torment, that’s a line that you'll never forget. It was thought-provoking to see how the system meet a young woman like Emilie, and I think we have quite a lot to learn from that.”
Drøbak Montessori School | Borge Bringsværd, teacher and assistant principal
"We have plans for fire protection, first aid and lifesaving that we are required to follow up every year, often with courses. But we never do anything on a regular basis around this topic (violence and sexual assault). I'm thinking this needs to be included in our annual wheel.”
RVTS west | Inge Nordhaug, clinical social worker in child and adolescent psychiatry
"Taboos make sexual abuse terribly burdensome for the family and others. I am therefore full of admiration for this family for making itself available and exposing some of this.”
The Hollywood Reporter
"Has a gripping vérité power ... Intimately observed but never intrusive ... A quietly observant profile in courage."
Jury Prize | Bergamo Film Meeting
"For the director’s ability to tell the true and touching story of a girl, without invading too much her already fragile balance and, at the same time, effectively portraying all her strength and determination on screen, giving voice to the many stories of abuse and violence which are still perpetrated in the world today. CGIL has always been at the forefront in defense of human rights and condemning violence against women. The importance of reporting abuse, even at home (especially after the pandemic this year has caused a tremendous increase of domestic abuse - 119% more in Italy alone) can never be stressed enough."
Indiewire
"An intimate portrait of the defiant Emile, as she pushes past the scariest aspects of her past to carve a path to a better future. It’s exactly the sort of personal take on a dark but essential subject that benefits from the festival platform, even in these strange times."
Spirituality & Practice
“Emotionally Touching. A powerful appreciation of the lasting damage of sexual abuse on children and those closest to them. Draws out our empathy.”
Cinema Sentries
"A beautiful story of courage in the midst of fear ... This film is beautifully shot and the pacing allows for the viewer to really get a sense of how time passes for Emile."
POV Magazine
"There’s no denying the calibre of the unique and powerful character at the heart of the film. Emile’s story is one shared by far too many, yet the way she is allowed to tell it, in dribs and drabs as she comes to terms with all that has transpired, is quite impactful."
The Gate
“Gut-wrenching and heartbreaking. The kind of film you hope everyone sees because it might make the world a more understanding and empathetic place. Honest and unflinching. Gorgeously shot, expertly paced, and overwhelmingly emotional.”
The Movable Fest
"The lingering effects of a horrific crime are vividly portrayed in this profile of a young Norwegian woman looking to move on with her life."
Citation
Main credits
Grøttjord-Glenne, Tone (film director)
Larsen, Anita Rehoff (film producer)
Other credits
Director of photography: Egil Haskjold Larsen; editor: Cathrine Ambus; composer: Ola Fløttum; producer: Anita Rehoff Larsen.
Distributor subjects
Sexual Abuse + Trauma; Social Issues; Anthropology; Women's Rights; Law + Civil Rights; Rape and Sexual Abuse; Social Issues; Teacher Training; Cultural Anthropology; Civil Law; Human Rights Law; Human Rights; Gender Issues and Studies; Gender and SexualityKeywords
WEBVTT
00:00:44.080 --> 00:00:48.400
Just after I turned 18,
my mom called out of the blue.
00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:52.960
She rarely called me.
00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:00.720
And that\'s when I found out
she wanted me to move back home.
00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:05.880
She wanted to start -
00:01:05.960 --> 00:01:08.000
- over.
00:01:08.080 --> 00:01:10.160
She wanted us all to.
00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:13.400
So that\'s what happened.
00:01:13.480 --> 00:01:15.320
I moved back home.
00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:21.760
I was told -
00:01:22.960 --> 00:01:25.480
- not to talk about it.
00:01:25.560 --> 00:01:27.440
And if I did, -
00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:31.320
- the family would fall apart.
00:01:34.240 --> 00:01:37.280
But it will be difficult -
00:01:37.360 --> 00:01:41.120
- to live with my younger siblings.
00:01:41.200 --> 00:01:46.960
Knowing that I
can\'t tell them why -
00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:52.440
- I haven\'t lived with them
for the past five years.
00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:38.280
Aiko!
00:03:00.520 --> 00:03:04.640
Her feet are bigger than mine.
00:03:04.720 --> 00:03:07.160
Are you a size 37?
00:03:07.240 --> 00:03:09.800
37 or 38.
00:03:09.880 --> 00:03:12.000
I think mom is a 38.
00:03:14.440 --> 00:03:16.840
I\'m terrible with high heels.
00:03:16.920 --> 00:03:19.720
- You know that.
- Just own it.
00:03:19.800 --> 00:03:22.440
- Own it?
- That\'s how it works.
00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:28.880
How do you do it?
What\'s your technique?
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:30.760
Let me take these.
00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:37.520
I feel like we\'re little girls again,
sneaking into mom\'s closet.
00:03:37.600 --> 00:03:41.560
Borrowing her clothes and shoes.
00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:48.600
Just walk normally.
00:03:52.400 --> 00:03:55.640
Maybe I should just walk
in my own shoes.
00:04:14.720 --> 00:04:16.600
Come in!
00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:19.320
- Hi, is everything OK?
- Yes.
00:04:19.400 --> 00:04:21.920
- She\'s cute.
- Yeah.
00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:25.720
- Do you know what to wear tomorrow?
- Kind of.
00:04:27.920 --> 00:04:30.680
- Are you nervous?
- Very.
00:04:30.760 --> 00:04:32.720
You\'ll be fine.
00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:35.120
I\'ll be there with you.
00:04:35.200 --> 00:04:39.480
- So you\'re definitely coming?
- That is the plan.
00:04:44.880 --> 00:04:49.920
- And your lawyer will help you.
- Yes, I\'ll have to rely on him.
00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:52.960
You\'ll be seated next to him.
00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:55.520
So he\'ll take care of you.
00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:00.640
I suppose that\'s his job.
00:05:01.640 --> 00:05:05.840
Alright, I\'ll leave you
to cuddle with Aiko in peace.
00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:21.640
Hi.
00:05:22.680 --> 00:05:24.920
You\'ve been to court before.
00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:26.840
What was it like?
00:05:28.320 --> 00:05:31.680
No, the worst thing is -
00:05:31.760 --> 00:05:35.800
- that it\'s only
a compensation hearing.
00:05:35.880 --> 00:05:40.000
So after this case,
he\'ll be released.
00:05:40.080 --> 00:05:43.560
His release date is already set.
00:05:51.120 --> 00:05:53.320
That\'s just how it is.
00:05:56.040 --> 00:05:57.840
I hope so.
00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:00.920
I just want to get it over with.
00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:04.880
I\'ll talk to you later.
00:06:05.880 --> 00:06:08.280
OK, bye!
00:06:29.080 --> 00:06:30.840
There he is.
00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:35.240
Who?
00:06:38.600 --> 00:06:40.240
Shit.
00:06:41.080 --> 00:06:43.560
- Do you want to go in?
- No!
00:06:44.840 --> 00:06:46.600
Don\'t worry.
00:06:50.440 --> 00:06:52.280
Don\'t worry.
00:07:02.560 --> 00:07:04.440
Let\'s go sit down.
00:07:06.520 --> 00:07:08.360
Don\'t look at him.
00:07:13.720 --> 00:07:17.400
- It\'s on the fourth floor.
- Let\'s go.
00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:21.960
Are you OK?
00:07:22.040 --> 00:07:23.840
Not really.
00:07:26.320 --> 00:07:29.200
Have you made a decision?
00:07:29.280 --> 00:07:31.480
We want to go to trial.
00:07:32.920 --> 00:07:36.680
- I\'ll let them know.
- Do you agree?
00:07:36.760 --> 00:07:39.960
That\'s for her alone to decide.
00:07:44.400 --> 00:07:47.880
The expert witnesses will sit there.
00:07:47.960 --> 00:07:51.120
He\'ll be over there,
and the judge will be here.
00:07:51.200 --> 00:07:53.040
Where will mom be?
00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:57.160
She can sit
next to the expert witnesses.
00:07:57.240 --> 00:07:59.920
So there\'s a space for her.
00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:15.240
I can\'t believe he\'ll be sitting
straight across from me.
00:08:24.840 --> 00:08:28.000
Good morning.
Please be seated.
00:08:30.080 --> 00:08:33.680
The court is in session.
This is a civil case -
00:08:33.760 --> 00:08:36.880
- regarding compensation
for sexual abuse.
00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:39.840
The plaintiff
is Emilie Andrea Franklin Dahl, -
00:08:39.920 --> 00:08:43.480
- represented by
attorney Knut Ditlev-Simonsen.
00:08:43.560 --> 00:08:47.040
This case is regarding compensation -
00:08:47.120 --> 00:08:49.720
- for sexual abuse, -
00:08:49.800 --> 00:08:53.720
- as previously accounted for.
00:08:53.800 --> 00:08:56.360
Her injuries include -
00:08:56.440 --> 00:08:59.560
- a diagnosis of
post-traumatic stress syndrome.
00:08:59.640 --> 00:09:03.280
Her childhood and adolescence
have been ruined.
00:09:03.680 --> 00:09:07.360
She has missed out on an education.
00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:10.760
She suffers from mental aftereffects -
00:09:10.840 --> 00:09:13.680
- and is in need
of long-term treatment.
00:09:13.760 --> 00:09:18.440
Emilie shows specific symptoms
of mental trauma -
00:09:18.520 --> 00:09:23.840
- compatible with massive abuse
by a close relative.
00:09:23.920 --> 00:09:26.840
The background for this case
are two judgments.
00:09:26.920 --> 00:09:32.440
One from Drammen District Court
and one from Borgarting Appellate Court.
00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:37.520
The assaults took place
in her own bedroom.
00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:41.840
A place where she had
every reason to feel safe.
00:09:41.920 --> 00:09:46.480
The defendant threatened
to have her placed in a foster home -
00:09:46.560 --> 00:09:49.120
- if she told anyone.
00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:55.000
He would lock the door,
which must have intensified her fear.
00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:59.480
The abuse took place
while he was home alone with Emilie, -
00:09:59.560 --> 00:10:04.120
- after picking her up from school,
and while her mother was home.
00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:09.200
She lived in a cycle of constant abuse,
regardless of where she was.
00:10:54.400 --> 00:10:58.320
- Do you want vegetables on the side?
- Yes.
00:11:01.640 --> 00:11:05.080
- It\'s about to boil over.
- What?
00:11:05.160 --> 00:11:09.920
- It\'s boiling over.
- No, the potatoes need to boil.
00:11:12.240 --> 00:11:15.840
- Do you like brussels sprouts?
- Yes.
00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:22.400
Don\'t the youngest two like them?
00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:24.880
I don\'t know, actually.
00:11:27.520 --> 00:11:30.640
Are we having different dinners?
00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:34.080
No, except that I\'m having a salad.
00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:50.320
- Hi, Marco!
- Hi.
00:11:50.400 --> 00:11:55.560
- Emilie, will you make my lunch?
- Yes, what should I make?
00:11:56.280 --> 00:11:58.560
Bread with...?
00:11:58.640 --> 00:12:02.000
- We have liverwurst.
- No, thanks.
00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:06.200
- Do you want fish? We have shrimp.
- Yes, please.
00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:14.640
I can go grocery shopping.
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:18.000
Does this go here?
00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:22.000
No, there\'s no room.
Try the bottom drawer.
00:12:32.160 --> 00:12:35.640
- Bye, Emilie!
- Bye. Do you want a hug?
00:12:40.040 --> 00:12:42.000
- Bye.
- Bye.
00:12:45.400 --> 00:12:47.800
What are you doing today?
00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:52.440
Nothing in particular.
00:13:00.280 --> 00:13:04.800
Do you remember that letter
I got from the police?
00:13:04.880 --> 00:13:08.680
That if he and I run into each other
on the street, -
00:13:08.760 --> 00:13:11.840
- I should just keep walking?
00:13:11.880 --> 00:13:13.680
Yes, right.
00:13:15.640 --> 00:13:18.680
But the odds are very small.
00:13:18.760 --> 00:13:21.680
He doesn\'t live around here.
00:13:23.760 --> 00:13:25.920
And he doesn\'t have...
00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.840
- His job could bring him here.
- Not to live.
00:13:29.920 --> 00:13:32.720
No, but he could get a job here.
00:13:34.840 --> 00:13:36.920
Isn\'t he a truck driver?
00:13:37.000 --> 00:13:39.120
Yes.
00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:42.040
But he wouldn\'t do that.
00:13:42.120 --> 00:13:48.800
Remember, if he does something
wrong again, he\'ll go back to prison.
00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:53.880
What are you thinking?
00:13:53.960 --> 00:13:58.960
It feels like his life
will be easier than mine.
00:13:59.040 --> 00:14:00.800
Sometimes.
00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:05.880
Yes.
00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:52.440
Hi!
00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:56.640
Here\'s the alarm.
00:14:56.720 --> 00:14:58.520
Is that the alarm?
00:14:58.600 --> 00:15:03.080
- This is what it looks like.
- It looks like a phone.
00:15:03.160 --> 00:15:04.960
Don\'t push the button!
00:15:05.040 --> 00:15:08.880
If you hit that, you\'ll call the police.
00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:12.400
- It\'s pretty reliable.
- I see.
00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:15.560
How does it feel to carry it?
00:15:15.640 --> 00:15:17.640
A little strange.
00:15:18.440 --> 00:15:22.680
I have it on my bedside table
every night.
00:15:22.760 --> 00:15:26.040
So I\'ve finally been able to sleep.
00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:30.160
I still have nightmares sometimes.
00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:32.880
But not as bad as before.
00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:35.840
Those disturbing nightmares.
00:15:36.760 --> 00:15:41.480
Before you got that alarm,
you couldn\'t sleep at night.
00:15:41.560 --> 00:15:45.080
When everyone else was asleep, -
00:15:45.160 --> 00:15:48.480
- you preferred to stay awake.
00:15:48.560 --> 00:15:53.120
- But now I sleep at night.
- Now you sleep. Good.
00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:57.880
Have you written down
any questions for Nanna?
00:15:57.960 --> 00:16:00.840
No, I don\'t know what to ask her.
00:16:01.640 --> 00:16:06.520
I\'ll probably have more questions
after meeting her.
00:16:06.600 --> 00:16:09.040
I think Nanna is here now.
00:16:10.360 --> 00:16:12.200
- Hello.
- Hi!
00:16:14.960 --> 00:16:18.160
- Emilie?
- Hi, I\'m Emilie Andrea.
00:16:18.880 --> 00:16:23.240
- Do you use both names?
- You can call me Emilie.
00:16:26.760 --> 00:16:31.520
What did you think, when you
found out you were coming to Fønix?
00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:35.520
I thought you might start
by helping me -
00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:39.840
- find a job or a school.
00:16:40.520 --> 00:16:44.720
The problem with work or school
is my anxiety issues.
00:16:44.800 --> 00:16:50.560
It will be hard for me to work
with lots of people. Or any people.
00:16:50.640 --> 00:16:55.080
We do help people with work and school,
but not always right away.
00:16:55.160 --> 00:17:00.840
Our focus is to customize a program
for each individual.
00:17:00.920 --> 00:17:04.480
So there is no set path
everyone has to follow.
00:17:04.560 --> 00:17:07.920
It will be tailored to meet your needs.
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:10.520
That\'s important for you to know.
00:17:10.600 --> 00:17:14.760
I would love to hear what you\'re thinking.
00:17:16.120 --> 00:17:20.440
Well, I\'ve thought about -
00:17:20.520 --> 00:17:24.760
- fulfilling one of my dreams
and becoming an author.
00:17:24.840 --> 00:17:27.280
Yes, that\'s great!
00:17:27.360 --> 00:17:30.640
Writing has been -
00:17:30.720 --> 00:17:34.120
- my support throughout my life.
00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:37.880
I\'ve always written
when I felt the need.
00:17:37.960 --> 00:17:41.240
And it has helped me move forward.
00:17:41.320 --> 00:17:43.520
So...
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:48.440
- It\'s very close to my heart.
- That\'s great.
00:17:48.520 --> 00:17:54.400
And you have already started writing?
You\'ve seen how it looks on paper?
00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:58.840
Yes, I\'ve uploaded some books
to a website.
00:17:58.920 --> 00:18:00.960
That\'s impressive!
00:18:03.040 --> 00:18:04.800
With Fønix?
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:09.240
I was lucky to be able to join them
next week.
00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:12.600
Yeah.
00:18:13.480 --> 00:18:17.200
I got a counselor called Nanna.
00:18:21.240 --> 00:18:24.440
So at least something is in place.
00:18:30.280 --> 00:18:33.040
What\'s for dinner tonight?
00:18:38.800 --> 00:18:41.960
OK, when will you be home?
00:19:08.560 --> 00:19:10.840
- Hello!
- Hi!
00:19:15.600 --> 00:19:18.480
Hi!
It looks like we\'re ready.
00:19:19.520 --> 00:19:24.960
This place is full of newspapers and...
Look, there she is!
00:19:25.040 --> 00:19:27.680
- Hi. Emilie Andrea.
- Myriam.
00:19:27.760 --> 00:19:30.480
- You look cool!
- Thank you.
00:19:30.560 --> 00:19:35.040
This is my office,
but we\'ll sit in another room.
00:19:35.120 --> 00:19:40.640
- Notice all the creative colors.
- You\'d fit in here with your outfit.
00:19:41.280 --> 00:19:45.840
Why don\'t you tell Myriam
about your thought process?
00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:51.200
Maybe you could read from
one of the last pieces you wrote?
00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:56.600
Let\'s have a listen,
and then we can discuss it.
00:19:56.680 --> 00:20:01.280
I don\'t know what to say.
I just wrote what I was feeling.
00:20:01.360 --> 00:20:05.600
You can probably tell.
OK, here goes.
00:20:07.560 --> 00:20:11.920
\"I often spend time
with my hands under running water.\"
00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:16.400
\"I often hide in the bathroom
just to sense -
00:20:16.480 --> 00:20:21.480
- those feelings I rarely feel.\"
00:20:21.560 --> 00:20:25.160
\"The sense of safety
the water gives me.\"
00:20:25.240 --> 00:20:27.920
\"The warmth of the water
on my hands.\"
00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:32.880
\"But it can also be
the cold pain -
00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:36.400
- which I have felt
for so many years.\"
00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:41.720
\"I force my hands
to endure just a little bit more, -
00:20:41.800 --> 00:20:46.200
- as the cold running water
hits them like ice.\"
00:20:46.280 --> 00:20:50.320
\"I still carry that feeling in my soul.\"
00:20:55.080 --> 00:20:59.360
- That was very strong and personal.
- It is very personal.
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:01.840
The beginning is wonderful.
00:21:01.920 --> 00:21:04.960
Where you write about the water -
00:21:05.040 --> 00:21:09.080
- and the feelings it evoked in you.
00:21:09.160 --> 00:21:11.960
That was beautifully written.
00:21:12.040 --> 00:21:15.880
- You clearly have a talent.
- Doesn\'t she?
00:21:15.960 --> 00:21:19.280
I knew I wasn\'t
being over-enthusiastic.
00:21:19.360 --> 00:21:23.680
Definitely.
A talent and a story to tell.
00:21:24.760 --> 00:21:27.760
You\'re very open
about your background.
00:21:27.840 --> 00:21:31.360
What you have been through
has forced you to be open.
00:21:31.800 --> 00:21:36.600
I want to encourage young girls
and young people -
00:21:36.680 --> 00:21:39.520
- to speak up.
00:21:39.600 --> 00:21:42.920
When they notice
something is happening.
00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:47.080
So I look at myself as a beacon.
00:21:47.160 --> 00:21:50.200
You reported it when you were twelve?
00:21:50.280 --> 00:21:55.320
- And it started when you were around six?
- That\'s right.
00:21:55.400 --> 00:21:58.360
- Before you understood anything.
- Yes.
00:21:58.440 --> 00:22:00.440
Unfortunately.
00:22:01.400 --> 00:22:04.160
Sounds like an important project.
00:22:04.760 --> 00:22:08.040
Is that spelled right?
00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:10.920
Yes, good girl.
00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:39.600
I need to go to bed soon.
I\'m so tired.
00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:41.360
Want me to help?
00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:53.600
Let\'s go on to the next one.
00:22:55.040 --> 00:22:58.160
Can\'t we do another one?
Please?
00:22:58.920 --> 00:23:02.520
One, two, three, four, five, six!
00:23:04.360 --> 00:23:08.400
That\'s not...
Let\'s do it again.
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:15.640
One, two, three, four, five, -
00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:20.440
- six, seven, eight, nine, ten...
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:12.640
I downloaded Wattpad and read
one of your stories, Emilie.
00:24:13.360 --> 00:24:16.680
I thought it was very interesting.
00:24:17.360 --> 00:24:22.040
- Could I become a decent author?
- Yes! Definitely.
00:24:22.120 --> 00:24:25.920
That\'s one thing
I want to talk about today.
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:31.520
What if it was impossible
for you to become a writer?
00:24:31.600 --> 00:24:35.120
What profession would you choose?
00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:39.040
- I don\'t have any other options.
- That\'s it?
00:24:39.120 --> 00:24:43.640
If I called you and said
I had found a job for you, -
00:24:43.720 --> 00:24:46.520
- what would you hope that might be?
00:24:46.600 --> 00:24:51.800
- Answer fast!
- I don\'t know if I\'m ready to work yet.
00:24:51.880 --> 00:24:54.240
It\'s a little soon to answer?
00:24:54.320 --> 00:25:00.120
That\'s why I want to talk to you about
what we should do, moving forward.
00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:03.320
- But I want to use the whiteboard.
- OK.
00:25:03.400 --> 00:25:06.800
I want to show you a timeline.
00:25:06.880 --> 00:25:11.720
You have told me
you have a goal of becoming a writer -
00:25:11.800 --> 00:25:17.400
- sometime in the future.
That\'s further ahead on your timeline.
00:25:18.760 --> 00:25:23.320
We are here now.
So to get there, -
00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:26.120
- we need to take some steps.
00:25:26.200 --> 00:25:30.000
That\'s why I\'ve made this timeline.
00:25:30.080 --> 00:25:32.880
So you can see what you think.
00:25:32.960 --> 00:25:36.960
What I want to offer you, -
00:25:37.040 --> 00:25:43.200
- is an online career tool we use here,
called VIP24.
00:25:43.280 --> 00:25:49.280
We have to send an action plan
to the Welfare Administration today.
00:25:49.360 --> 00:25:52.760
That\'s another thing
on our to-do list.
00:25:52.840 --> 00:25:58.800
And after we have completed VIP24
and visited some workplaces, -
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:02.160
- we can explore
some other professions.
00:26:02.240 --> 00:26:05.280
There are around 7000
professions in Norway.
00:26:05.360 --> 00:26:10.160
We should be able to find
at least 20 that fit you.
00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:12.160
- That\'s a lot!
- Yes.
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:16.440
Is there anything here
you would want to change?
00:26:16.520 --> 00:26:20.240
Anything you\'d want to add
or take away?
00:26:21.480 --> 00:26:23.520
I don\'t know.
00:26:25.240 --> 00:26:27.000
It looks fine?
00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:32.560
This is our story.
00:26:32.640 --> 00:26:34.600
Fønix is about competence.
00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:39.280
We have unique experience
in strengthening your resources -
00:26:39.360 --> 00:26:43.160
- through motivation,
tutorials and training.
00:26:43.240 --> 00:26:48.640
Fønix helps people find employment
and stay employed.
00:26:55.280 --> 00:26:59.080
- Is salmon OK for dinner?
- Sure.
00:27:06.400 --> 00:27:08.400
I think -
00:27:09.080 --> 00:27:13.040
- you should try to get out,
be more social.
00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:17.440
Writing isn\'t particularly social.
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:21.240
You do miss that.
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:24.120
Don\'t you?
00:27:24.200 --> 00:27:26.360
Sure.
00:27:27.480 --> 00:27:31.200
Get yourself some acquaintances.
00:27:31.280 --> 00:27:33.480
Someone nearby.
00:27:33.560 --> 00:27:35.520
Not too far away.
00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:40.160
That\'s what Anje and I
are trying to work out.
00:27:41.160 --> 00:27:45.080
But she doesn\'t take you anywhere.
There must be...
00:27:45.160 --> 00:27:47.640
She can\'t do that.
00:27:48.080 --> 00:27:50.240
That isn\'t her job.
00:27:50.320 --> 00:27:55.960
Then she should get you in somewhere.
Isn\'t that how it works?
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:51.760
Don\'t fall!
00:28:53.400 --> 00:28:55.640
- It\'s so slippery!
- I know.
00:28:55.720 --> 00:28:58.400
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:01.240
I\'m not used to snow yet.
00:29:01.320 --> 00:29:04.640
- There isn\'t snow in Sandefjord.
- Lucky you.
00:29:08.560 --> 00:29:11.240
Let me find the light switch.
00:29:12.520 --> 00:29:14.240
How cute!
00:29:15.400 --> 00:29:18.920
- I needed a little heater.
- It\'s tiny!
00:29:20.560 --> 00:29:23.640
So this is my little apartment.
00:29:24.680 --> 00:29:28.800
It\'s nice for one or two people,
but that\'s it.
00:29:28.880 --> 00:29:31.760
- It isn\'t a party pad.
- Definitely not.
00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:37.360
- I\'m excited to see what this is!
- I\'m nervous.
00:29:37.440 --> 00:29:41.080
- That I might not like your gift?
- Yeah.
00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:43.920
How cute!
00:29:45.800 --> 00:29:50.720
- Maybe I\'ll wear it to work.
- I have the same one.
00:29:53.120 --> 00:29:56.320
- I\'ll hang it here.
- Right here.
00:29:57.200 --> 00:30:00.600
So it\'s the first thing I see
in the morning.
00:30:00.680 --> 00:30:03.640
- Thank you!
- You\'re welcome.
00:30:04.760 --> 00:30:09.000
So how is it going at home,
living there?
00:30:09.080 --> 00:30:13.600
It\'s a little up and down
with mom and everyone there.
00:30:13.680 --> 00:30:16.920
They\'re not able to...
00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:19.160
They beat around the bush.
00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:23.280
So often
we misunderstand each other.
00:30:24.520 --> 00:30:30.640
It\'s hard, living with people
who can\'t identify with your situation.
00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:34.000
Or at least try to understand it.
00:30:34.080 --> 00:30:36.920
I think they\'re trying.
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:41.160
It\'s just complicated
when they aren\'t able -
00:30:41.240 --> 00:30:43.560
- to understand.
00:30:43.640 --> 00:30:45.560
But -
00:30:45.640 --> 00:30:49.600
- I\'m going to see
if I want to stay there.
00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:52.440
Or choose to live on my own.
00:30:52.520 --> 00:30:54.560
Mostly because -
00:30:55.160 --> 00:30:58.360
- I\'m dealing with a lot right now.
00:31:01.040 --> 00:31:05.880
And that makes it more exhausting
than it needs to be.
00:31:09.120 --> 00:31:15.240
- It would be nice to have a network.
- Yes, I can understand that.
00:31:15.320 --> 00:31:17.720
It\'s difficult -
00:31:18.320 --> 00:31:23.880
- to build a network
when you don\'t have anyone to turn to.
00:31:26.160 --> 00:31:30.440
It was hard for me
when I first moved here.
00:31:30.520 --> 00:31:35.280
There was a period
where I didn\'t know anyone.
00:31:35.360 --> 00:31:36.920
Like me.
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:41.320
Only when I started working, -
00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:44.600
- did I start making friends here.
00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:50.840
I just wish you lived nearby,
so I could see you all the time.
00:31:50.920 --> 00:31:52.920
But that\'s not the case.
00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:55.960
And that\'s what stops me.
00:31:56.040 --> 00:31:58.320
I feel very isolated.
00:31:59.240 --> 00:32:01.200
And then, -
00:32:01.280 --> 00:32:04.560
- when you realize -
00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:09.640
- that the person who hurt you so much
and caused you so much pain -
00:32:09.720 --> 00:32:14.440
- is suddenly free again
and back on the street, -
00:32:14.520 --> 00:32:18.720
- you just want to isolate yourself
even more.
00:32:29.600 --> 00:32:32.240
- Are you ready?
- Maybe.
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:36.920
Come on in!
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:41.840
It\'s great that everyone could make it
to this meeting.
00:32:41.920 --> 00:32:47.520
And it\'s perfect timing,
because I see that your activity plan -
00:32:47.600 --> 00:32:50.960
- is about to expire.
00:32:51.040 --> 00:32:56.800
Which means your work-assessment
allowance will also end.
00:32:56.880 --> 00:33:00.760
So it\'s important that
we make a new one now.
00:33:00.840 --> 00:33:04.840
We had a meeting with your doctor
earlier this year.
00:33:04.920 --> 00:33:09.160
He said there is no medical reason
why you can\'t work or study.
00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:14.320
But since then we\'ve given him
the expert report.
00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:18.160
So I\'m a bit unsure right now.
00:33:18.240 --> 00:33:21.240
He got the report a few weeks ago.
00:33:21.320 --> 00:33:24.120
- The experts\' report from the trial?
- Yes.
00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:30.720
He might change his mind, if this
statement came before he got the report.
00:33:30.800 --> 00:33:34.200
There is a lot of new information
in there.
00:33:34.280 --> 00:33:38.880
But he also wrote that -
00:33:38.960 --> 00:33:43.920
- the expert report wouldn\'t...
00:33:44.000 --> 00:33:48.760
He wouldn\'t place much emphasis
on those results.
00:33:48.840 --> 00:33:52.600
But of course,
he hadn\'t read it yet.
00:34:01.560 --> 00:34:06.000
It seems like your mind
has wandered a bit.
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:13.840
We aren\'t going to force you
to get a job now.
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:19.840
We just have to find out what
you\'re capable and incapable of doing.
00:34:21.160 --> 00:34:26.640
Because post-traumatic stress
syndrome is just a diagnosis.
00:34:26.720 --> 00:34:29.160
It doesn\'t say anything -
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:34.160
- about how you function
in everyday life.
00:34:34.240 --> 00:34:39.360
Some people with that diagnosis
can have...
00:35:00.280 --> 00:35:03.200
There.
Now we\'re ready.
00:35:04.520 --> 00:35:08.240
I am a police officer.
00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:10.920
Though I\'m not in uniform.
00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:15.680
My job is to talk to children,
young people and adults, -
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:18.440
- about how they are doing.
00:35:19.040 --> 00:35:21.480
And I have been told -
00:35:21.560 --> 00:35:26.160
- that you have talked to
some grownups at your school.
00:35:26.240 --> 00:35:28.960
I want to talk to you about that.
00:35:29.040 --> 00:35:32.200
What\'s your full name, Emilie?
00:35:32.280 --> 00:35:35.080
Emilie Andrea Franklin Dahl.
00:35:35.160 --> 00:35:38.280
Franklin Dahl.
And how old are you, Emilie?
00:35:38.360 --> 00:35:41.360
- Twelve.
- You are twelve years old.
00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:44.080
Maybe you can tell me, Emilie, -
00:35:44.160 --> 00:35:46.360
- what happened today?
00:35:46.440 --> 00:35:51.160
There\'s something
I can\'t get off my mind.
00:35:51.240 --> 00:35:53.960
I think about it all the time.
00:35:54.040 --> 00:35:56.800
What do you mean by that, Emilie?
00:35:56.880 --> 00:36:00.400
It happened in second or third grade.
00:36:00.480 --> 00:36:02.920
In second or third grade.
00:36:03.680 --> 00:36:06.360
An assault, I think.
00:36:06.440 --> 00:36:08.280
An assault.
00:36:10.280 --> 00:36:12.400
What grade are you in now?
00:36:12.480 --> 00:36:14.320
Sixth.
00:36:19.240 --> 00:36:22.640
Have these things happened ...?
00:36:22.720 --> 00:36:24.360
Yes.
00:36:25.480 --> 00:36:27.200
Tell me.
00:36:31.320 --> 00:36:35.080
Sometimes after school, -
00:36:35.160 --> 00:36:38.880
- if the other children
aren\'t at home, -
00:36:38.960 --> 00:36:43.880
- he grabs me hard
and pulls me over...
00:36:43.960 --> 00:36:50.360
He brings me to a sofa or bed
or somewhere to lie down.
00:36:50.440 --> 00:36:53.200
Then he tells me to undress.
00:36:54.360 --> 00:36:58.120
Then he makes me go like this.
00:36:58.200 --> 00:37:02.880
And he takes his penis
and puts it inside of me.
00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:06.640
So he takes you hard by the hand, -
00:37:06.720 --> 00:37:11.280
- finds a place for you to lie down,
and then you have to undress.
00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:13.760
And then he takes your hand, -
00:37:13.840 --> 00:37:17.040
- and makes you hold his penis?
Yes?
00:37:17.120 --> 00:37:21.440
And then you have to have his penis
inside of you.
00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:26.840
Do you know how often this happens?
00:37:26.920 --> 00:37:29.600
Around -
00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:33.320
- three or four days a week.
00:37:36.160 --> 00:37:39.080
But I wonder...
00:37:39.160 --> 00:37:43.240
We haven\'t talked about
who does this to you.
00:37:47.360 --> 00:37:49.000
It\'s my stepfather.
00:37:49.080 --> 00:37:51.840
Your stepfather.
00:38:29.840 --> 00:38:33.120
- Attorney Ditlev-Simonsen.
- Hi, it\'s Emilie.
00:38:33.200 --> 00:38:35.880
Hello!
Come up to the second floor.
00:38:36.680 --> 00:38:40.320
- Hi.
- Hello. Come in.
00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:43.000
I was just wondering -
00:38:43.080 --> 00:38:45.640
- what our rights are.
00:38:45.720 --> 00:38:52.120
- Well, he\'s served his sentence...
- Concerning a restraining order.
00:38:53.800 --> 00:38:58.960
Certain conditions have to be in place -
00:38:59.040 --> 00:39:04.080
- in order to be granted
a restraining order.
00:39:04.160 --> 00:39:07.600
Like a specific reason -
00:39:07.680 --> 00:39:11.920
- for why he would commit
a criminal act.
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:16.440
Such as harass you or try to find you.
00:39:17.880 --> 00:39:21.720
Or something along those lines.
00:39:21.800 --> 00:39:26.920
It would depend on
the decision of the police attorney.
00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:32.560
But without specific grounds -
00:39:34.760 --> 00:39:39.760
- for why you are worried
that something might happen, -
00:39:39.840 --> 00:39:43.240
- or are uncomfortable
that he is a free man, -
00:39:43.320 --> 00:39:47.320
- I think it would be difficult.
But we can ask.
00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:50.120
We can try.
00:39:50.200 --> 00:39:54.320
I understand that you are uncomfortable.
00:39:55.320 --> 00:39:58.680
He\'s been where I live now.
00:39:58.760 --> 00:40:00.960
He has?
00:40:01.040 --> 00:40:04.200
It was during the appeal.
00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:08.200
He came by a few times.
Did some things.
00:40:08.280 --> 00:40:11.640
He vandalized mom\'s car.
00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:14.520
And attacked her.
00:40:14.600 --> 00:40:18.880
But that was some time ago,
and related to -
00:40:18.960 --> 00:40:22.920
- his actions against your mother.
00:40:24.240 --> 00:40:28.760
And I believe he received
a new sentence for that.
00:40:29.800 --> 00:40:35.160
But we can include that in our
application. Say he has done it before.
00:40:35.240 --> 00:40:37.680
That he has been there before.
00:40:37.760 --> 00:40:43.880
Knowing that he has been there,
doesn\'t make me feel very safe.
00:40:46.280 --> 00:40:51.800
We\'ll try to get a restraining order.
But the best thing for you now, -
00:40:51.880 --> 00:40:55.040
- is to try not to think about it.
00:40:55.120 --> 00:40:59.480
Try to focus your thoughts and energy -
00:40:59.560 --> 00:41:04.920
- on other things than thinking about
what he might be up to.
00:41:48.240 --> 00:41:50.080
You\'re so cute!
00:41:53.080 --> 00:41:55.520
Let\'s give him a call.
00:41:56.120 --> 00:41:57.720
Hi!
00:41:57.800 --> 00:41:59.880
How was work today?
00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:11.160
Will any of your co-workers
interrupt your \"Emilie time\" today?
00:42:12.840 --> 00:42:15.400
You don\'t know, do you?
00:42:21.880 --> 00:42:25.040
Yes.
You\'ll be here in two weeks.
00:42:29.640 --> 00:42:31.560
That\'ll be nice.
00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:35.600
I\'ll see you then.
00:42:38.800 --> 00:42:43.960
Emilie, I spoke with Hanne
on the phone yesterday.
00:42:44.040 --> 00:42:47.440
Because as you and I have discussed, -
00:42:47.520 --> 00:42:52.000
- it\'s time to figure out
where you want to live.
00:42:52.960 --> 00:42:56.120
- That\'s right.
- Yes, and I agree.
00:42:57.320 --> 00:43:01.280
And we have decided
to apply for an apartment.
00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:04.240
I\'ve written a little report -
00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:07.480
- based on my thoughts and ideas.
00:43:07.560 --> 00:43:10.960
It might not be completely accurate, -
00:43:11.040 --> 00:43:17.040
- or there might be something
you\'d like to add or remove.
00:43:23.240 --> 00:43:26.280
I hope there\'s nothing new to add.
00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:29.600
- No, I\'ve been quite honest.
- You have.
00:43:29.680 --> 00:43:32.160
Don\'t you feel safe?
00:43:32.240 --> 00:43:34.320
It\'s not like that.
00:43:34.400 --> 00:43:38.360
The reason she doesn\'t feel safe -
00:43:38.440 --> 00:43:45.120
- is that he knows where she lives
and she\'s afraid he\'ll show up.
00:44:10.080 --> 00:44:12.800
- Hi there.
- Hi.
00:44:12.880 --> 00:44:14.880
All good?
00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:17.240
Your suitcase hasn\'t come yet.
00:44:17.320 --> 00:44:19.960
- What?
- Your suitcase isn\'t here.
00:44:20.040 --> 00:44:23.160
- You\'d recognize it?
- Is it the red one?
00:44:26.720 --> 00:44:28.040
Here it is!
00:44:36.560 --> 00:44:38.520
My god!
00:44:38.600 --> 00:44:41.600
It was actually sunny in Bergen.
00:44:45.200 --> 00:44:47.320
- Daniel?
- Yes?
00:44:47.400 --> 00:44:51.200
Can we hang these in the hallway?
00:44:52.440 --> 00:44:56.280
Sure.
They\'re a gift from me to you.
00:44:56.360 --> 00:44:58.280
Your bear posters.
00:44:58.360 --> 00:45:01.640
They\'re not bears, they\'re wolves!
00:45:01.720 --> 00:45:04.000
There\'s a difference.
00:45:07.560 --> 00:45:10.720
Mom wants to buy some too.
00:45:10.800 --> 00:45:13.840
- In 3D.
- She can\'t have those.
00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:18.040
Those two are sacred.
00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:40.160
- Hey...
- No!
00:45:42.640 --> 00:45:45.080
- Look at me.
- Go away!
00:45:45.160 --> 00:45:50.040
I\'m moving out soon. I don\'t want to
be sad because you\'re sad.
00:45:50.120 --> 00:45:52.280
- Please?
- No!
00:45:59.880 --> 00:46:02.160
Can you sit up a little?
00:46:02.240 --> 00:46:05.560
- I\'ve got a headache.
- A headache?
00:46:05.640 --> 00:46:07.920
That\'s not good.
00:46:09.720 --> 00:46:12.600
Why do you have a headache?
00:46:12.680 --> 00:46:14.720
Because I...
00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:18.160
Maybe you haven\'t had enough water.
00:46:19.680 --> 00:46:22.920
I drank ten glasses of water yesterday.
00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:25.720
Did you have a headache yesterday?
00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:28.640
No?
Maybe water is magical.
00:46:30.720 --> 00:46:32.440
Who knows?
00:46:34.400 --> 00:46:36.920
Don\'t you want to sit up?
00:46:39.320 --> 00:46:41.360
I could use a hug.
00:46:54.920 --> 00:46:56.720
There.
00:47:00.360 --> 00:47:03.080
Are you feeling better now?
00:47:03.160 --> 00:47:06.440
I don\'t have a headache anymore.
00:47:06.520 --> 00:47:07.960
That\'s good!
00:47:08.040 --> 00:47:10.360
Maybe I\'m magical.
00:47:11.600 --> 00:47:15.880
Maybe.
You do make us kids happy.
00:47:15.960 --> 00:47:17.800
I try, at least.
00:47:22.920 --> 00:47:25.800
- Two years.
- Starting from...
00:47:25.880 --> 00:47:27.600
Next week.
00:47:30.400 --> 00:47:34.360
We need to add your name
to the contract.
00:47:34.440 --> 00:47:37.080
Only you need to sign for now.
00:47:48.800 --> 00:47:50.320
Done!
00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:53.080
It\'s really nice here.
00:47:55.480 --> 00:47:59.160
It\'s so open,
and the colors are great.
00:47:59.240 --> 00:48:02.760
Have you decided
who gets which room?
00:48:02.840 --> 00:48:06.400
- She gets the biggest one.
- Of course.
00:48:07.720 --> 00:48:11.400
I\'ll take the small one.
With an office in the corner.
00:48:11.480 --> 00:48:13.720
Cool.
That will be great.
00:48:13.800 --> 00:48:15.840
That\'s a good deal.
00:48:16.840 --> 00:48:18.560
I\'ll take the cat.
00:48:18.640 --> 00:48:22.040
- I don\'t want it in my room.
- No, no.
00:48:22.640 --> 00:48:26.840
The dining table will be there
and the sofa here.
00:48:26.920 --> 00:48:29.360
It\'s a great apartment.
00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:33.800
- But you can\'t move in here.
- What? No.
00:48:36.640 --> 00:48:40.680
I\'ll spare you that.
The whole family here!
00:49:09.880 --> 00:49:11.080
What?
00:49:11.160 --> 00:49:13.640
- Do you want to taste?
- No!
00:49:15.720 --> 00:49:19.160
- Coffee is nasty.
- Don\'t say that!
00:49:37.120 --> 00:49:39.840
Imagine the ideal place, -
00:49:39.920 --> 00:49:45.160
- where you would attend an activity
twice a week for two hours...
00:49:45.240 --> 00:49:49.400
What kind of activity
would you want to do?
00:49:49.480 --> 00:49:53.280
What would be
the best thing you could do?
00:49:54.400 --> 00:49:56.160
Well...
00:49:57.520 --> 00:50:00.880
If I was older,
somewhere in my 20s, -
00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:03.720
- and had a driver\'s license, -
00:50:03.800 --> 00:50:08.000
- I would probably have tried to work -
00:50:08.080 --> 00:50:11.280
- as a volunteer support contact.
00:50:11.360 --> 00:50:15.960
Maybe for someone who has
experienced something similar.
00:50:16.040 --> 00:50:19.200
To show them they\'re not alone.
00:50:19.280 --> 00:50:22.840
That\'s something I\'d like to do.
00:50:22.920 --> 00:50:25.840
Help someone in your situation?
00:50:25.920 --> 00:50:31.520
Another important thing to think about
is pay and personal economy.
00:50:31.600 --> 00:50:36.480
To earn a living as a support contact
is very difficult.
00:50:36.560 --> 00:50:42.240
None of the professions
I\'m interested in pay a lot of money.
00:50:42.320 --> 00:50:46.960
But if you manage
to complete an education, -
00:50:47.040 --> 00:50:51.680
- you can get other jobs,
like milieu therapist.
00:50:51.760 --> 00:50:55.400
They do similar work,
but the pay is better.
00:50:55.480 --> 00:51:01.720
But let\'s take one step at a time.
You have your allowance until November.
00:51:07.040 --> 00:51:12.040
I spoke with that lady
from the high school, -
00:51:12.120 --> 00:51:15.320
- to let her know
we weren\'t coming today.
00:51:15.400 --> 00:51:18.880
And she said
she can meet us anywhere, -
00:51:18.960 --> 00:51:23.200
- to tell us how
the school can accommodate you.
00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:26.680
They can do many things
we don\'t know about.
00:51:27.360 --> 00:51:31.680
But it would be good
to get the ball rolling now.
00:51:31.760 --> 00:51:36.440
Then we have a plan.
This should be fun and exciting.
00:52:22.320 --> 00:52:24.440
It\'s really big!
00:52:24.520 --> 00:52:27.120
There are many buildings.
00:52:27.200 --> 00:52:32.320
We have over 2100 students here.
00:52:33.400 --> 00:52:36.880
You won\'t be alone,
to put it that way!
00:52:38.120 --> 00:52:40.800
We\'ve chosen to, -
00:52:40.880 --> 00:52:45.760
- since you\'ll only be here
a couple of times a week, -
00:52:46.360 --> 00:52:49.440
- and we have
a lot of extra seats...
00:52:49.520 --> 00:52:54.840
First we thought we would only have
one seat per student -
00:52:54.920 --> 00:52:57.280
- in this class.
00:52:57.360 --> 00:53:00.320
But one of the students disagreed.
00:53:00.400 --> 00:53:04.200
\"I need my own desk -
00:53:04.280 --> 00:53:07.040
- with no one next to me.\"
00:53:07.120 --> 00:53:11.200
That\'s important for some.
So that\'s why it\'s like this.
00:53:11.280 --> 00:53:16.800
Other than that, it\'s just like
any other boring classroom.
00:53:17.280 --> 00:53:20.560
The main entrance...
Wait, look in there.
00:53:20.640 --> 00:53:24.480
- The library.
- Right. It\'s quite big.
00:53:24.560 --> 00:53:28.160
And inside there, -
00:53:28.240 --> 00:53:30.680
- you can sit wherever you want.
00:53:30.760 --> 00:53:34.080
But we also have small cells, -
00:53:34.160 --> 00:53:38.760
- not exactly prison cells,
but a place where you can hide.
00:53:38.840 --> 00:53:43.080
If you don\'t want to sit
smack in the middle.
00:53:43.160 --> 00:53:46.000
That\'s up to you.
But the entrance...
00:53:46.080 --> 00:53:51.200
You can pretty much choose
depending on where you come from.
00:53:54.480 --> 00:53:57.560
Let me see what\'s going on first.
00:54:44.400 --> 00:54:47.200
- That could be you.
- No way!
00:55:38.800 --> 00:55:40.600
Hi, honey.
00:55:40.680 --> 00:55:42.040
Hi.
00:55:42.120 --> 00:55:44.520
You can sit there.
00:55:44.600 --> 00:55:47.760
- That\'s the best place.
- I agree.
00:55:49.520 --> 00:55:51.520
Sitting next to mom.
00:55:52.880 --> 00:55:57.320
If you and I were to have
this conversation...
00:55:58.400 --> 00:56:02.400
You have to take the lead here.
00:56:04.720 --> 00:56:07.600
The thing is...
00:56:07.680 --> 00:56:12.480
We both need to accept
that a film will come of this.
00:56:12.560 --> 00:56:17.520
And that we can be open
with each other, -
00:56:17.600 --> 00:56:22.440
- without fearing that
the door might close again.
00:56:22.520 --> 00:56:25.360
Because it will be difficult.
00:56:26.360 --> 00:56:31.000
I\'ve considered becoming a blogger
after this.
00:56:31.080 --> 00:56:35.320
I feel this issue
is so close to my heart.
00:56:35.400 --> 00:56:40.720
Making sure that both children
and adults are heard.
00:56:40.800 --> 00:56:44.320
Taking control of your own story.
00:56:44.400 --> 00:56:48.400
You may remember
that in third or fourth grade -
00:56:48.480 --> 00:56:51.240
- there was an incident.
00:56:52.680 --> 00:56:56.600
After we had taken our class photo.
00:56:56.680 --> 00:57:01.200
You had to come and get me.
They found me outside.
00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:03.360
Do you remember that?
00:57:03.440 --> 00:57:06.480
No, not really.
00:57:06.560 --> 00:57:11.840
- I had stepped on a nail.
- Yes, I remember that!
00:57:12.360 --> 00:57:15.920
There\'s a reason why I ended up there.
00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:20.920
Because that day -
00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:24.520
- I tried to share my secret.
00:57:24.600 --> 00:57:27.320
By telling my teacher -
00:57:27.400 --> 00:57:30.760
- I had morning sickness.
00:57:30.840 --> 00:57:34.240
We were all gathered at the time.
00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:37.840
Heidi was our teacher.
00:57:37.920 --> 00:57:42.440
And she said:
\"You can\'t have morning sickness.\"
00:57:42.520 --> 00:57:45.880
\"Only pregnant women can have that.\"
00:57:45.960 --> 00:57:49.520
And that feeling I got, -
00:57:49.600 --> 00:57:52.200
- as the other kids laughed...
00:57:52.280 --> 00:57:55.960
\"Why would she say that?\"
00:57:56.040 --> 00:58:00.680
You feel older than you should feel.
00:58:00.760 --> 00:58:03.280
Because I knew what it meant.
00:58:03.360 --> 00:58:06.520
But I was left with the question:
00:58:06.600 --> 00:58:11.920
\"So I have to be pregnant for people
to understand what\'s going on?\"
00:58:12.000 --> 00:58:15.800
And that was too much for me
to deal with.
00:58:15.880 --> 00:58:19.440
So I ended up
with that nail in my foot.
00:58:19.520 --> 00:58:22.680
Another way to get away from it all.
00:58:22.760 --> 00:58:26.640
I didn\'t do it intentionally.
It was an accident.
00:58:26.720 --> 00:58:29.400
But it wasn\'t exactly...
00:58:32.040 --> 00:58:35.320
It was a way to escape.
00:58:37.080 --> 00:58:40.880
- This was in third or fourth grade?
- Yes.
00:58:45.760 --> 00:58:49.840
When you carry a fear like that
every day...
00:58:49.920 --> 00:58:55.800
I was afraid to go to school
because I feared being bullied.
00:58:57.840 --> 00:59:01.240
When I just wanted to tell someone.
00:59:01.320 --> 00:59:07.520
And I was so scared of that person
at home who was causing me pain.
00:59:07.600 --> 00:59:11.240
- That is not easy.
- I understand that.
00:59:13.480 --> 00:59:18.400
It\'s painful for me too,
that I didn\'t see any of that.
00:59:18.480 --> 00:59:23.880
That this happened
right under my nose, so to speak.
00:59:27.240 --> 00:59:31.720
I found it very hard to understand -
00:59:31.800 --> 00:59:35.520
- why I didn\'t see anything at all.
00:59:37.240 --> 00:59:43.440
Because when you told me...
I remember some details.
00:59:43.520 --> 00:59:48.000
But I never made the connection -
00:59:48.080 --> 00:59:50.800
- to anything like that.
00:59:53.680 --> 00:59:57.760
But I\'ve never doubted you.
You know that.
00:59:57.840 --> 01:00:02.960
I\'ve never doubted
that you were telling the truth.
01:00:03.040 --> 01:00:09.120
I never thought it was your fault
or anything like that.
01:00:09.200 --> 01:00:12.440
None of this was ever your fault.
01:00:14.680 --> 01:00:18.720
And that\'s very important
to make clear -
01:00:19.760 --> 01:00:22.440
- to the two youngest kids.
01:00:22.520 --> 01:00:26.520
That they know
they are not responsible -
01:00:26.600 --> 01:00:31.200
- for their father\'s actions.
And neither are you.
01:00:35.040 --> 01:00:36.760
And...
01:00:39.120 --> 01:00:44.440
When something like this happens,
the whole world falls apart.
01:00:44.520 --> 01:00:48.640
The person you\'re married to
and have children with...
01:00:48.720 --> 01:00:52.720
Someone you think is kind.
01:00:52.800 --> 01:00:57.160
Someone you think of
as a father figure.
01:00:57.240 --> 01:01:00.720
An adult person -
01:01:00.800 --> 01:01:04.280
- in my life and my children\'s life...
01:01:08.240 --> 01:01:10.680
It almost feels like...
01:01:11.440 --> 01:01:17.120
It almost feels like you\'re...
raising children with a monster.
01:01:17.200 --> 01:01:20.520
Who can put a child -
01:01:20.600 --> 01:01:23.320
- through something like that.
01:01:24.240 --> 01:01:26.560
And...
01:01:27.360 --> 01:01:31.320
There are so many emotions
that come up.
01:01:48.640 --> 01:01:51.240
And that\'s why I think...
01:01:52.920 --> 01:01:55.680
Yes, I...
01:01:55.760 --> 01:01:59.800
Even today,
I don\'t really know what to say.
01:02:57.640 --> 01:03:01.480
Soon I\'m going to face
Marco and Ariana.
01:03:05.080 --> 01:03:06.880
And...
01:03:10.160 --> 01:03:14.200
I always ask myself:
What can I possibly tell them?
01:03:14.280 --> 01:03:17.440
How can I tell them such a thing?
01:03:29.640 --> 01:03:33.320
But they\'re older now.
01:03:33.400 --> 01:03:35.200
And...
01:03:39.120 --> 01:03:41.120
Some day -
01:03:42.200 --> 01:03:45.000
- they have to hear the truth.
01:03:47.560 --> 01:03:49.880
Already, -
01:03:49.960 --> 01:03:54.160
- Marco has started
to understand small bits.
01:03:54.240 --> 01:03:58.240
And when I initially
moved back home -
01:03:58.320 --> 01:04:01.760
- it was very hard for him.
01:04:06.800 --> 01:04:09.160
With all this.
01:04:09.240 --> 01:04:13.000
Even though we thought he didn\'t know.
01:04:13.080 --> 01:04:16.360
But they know more than you think.
01:04:25.920 --> 01:04:27.720
So...
01:04:32.280 --> 01:04:36.120
If I don\'t tell them now,
then when?
01:04:36.200 --> 01:04:39.720
It keeps getting postponed.
01:04:44.320 --> 01:04:47.680
The Children\'s House -
01:04:47.760 --> 01:04:50.360
- is coming to help.
01:04:52.960 --> 01:04:54.680
But -
01:04:56.000 --> 01:04:58.440
- it\'s still difficult.
01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:30.160
And -
01:05:31.600 --> 01:05:36.880
- we have discussed
some important issues.
01:05:41.720 --> 01:05:44.800
- Did something just happen?
- No.
01:05:44.880 --> 01:05:46.920
You suddenly...
01:05:47.000 --> 01:05:50.440
Are you following us?
01:05:50.520 --> 01:05:52.400
Yes?
Good.
01:06:01.280 --> 01:06:06.120
- Should we start with a little break?
- Good idea.
01:06:06.200 --> 01:06:08.760
Let\'s go out for a bit.
01:06:09.680 --> 01:06:13.720
Let\'s see
if there\'s a restroom somewhere.
01:06:16.160 --> 01:06:20.760
Nanna, is there a restroom nearby?
01:06:29.320 --> 01:06:31.680
Can you go like this?
01:06:32.800 --> 01:06:34.800
Give yourself a hug.
01:06:35.600 --> 01:06:37.440
Look how I do it.
01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:44.040
When we experience
something frightening, -
01:06:44.120 --> 01:06:46.320
- we go like this.
01:06:47.280 --> 01:06:49.760
To calm ourselves.
01:06:51.120 --> 01:06:52.920
Deliberately.
01:06:53.560 --> 01:06:55.600
Comfort ourselves.
01:06:58.160 --> 01:07:01.160
Focus on your breathing.
01:07:01.240 --> 01:07:04.640
It came back to you again, didn\'t it?
01:07:42.720 --> 01:07:45.840
Do you have a meeting now?
What kind?
01:07:45.920 --> 01:07:51.360
It\'s not a meeting.
I\'m just seeing my therapist.
01:07:52.400 --> 01:07:56.240
To agree on
what to tell the kids tomorrow.
01:07:57.920 --> 01:08:03.200
- I see.
- I already have an idea of what to say.
01:08:03.280 --> 01:08:04.840
What\'s your idea?
01:08:04.920 --> 01:08:07.240
I want to discuss \"consent\".
01:08:07.320 --> 01:08:09.920
Since it\'s sexual.
01:08:10.000 --> 01:08:15.120
That a child can never consent
to something like that.
01:08:15.200 --> 01:08:18.320
That\'s why it\'s called abuse.
01:08:18.400 --> 01:08:22.040
And then take it from there.
01:08:24.400 --> 01:08:27.320
So now they\'ll get the missing piece.
01:08:27.400 --> 01:08:31.640
Why he didn\'t come back
and why he was taken from them.
01:08:31.720 --> 01:08:35.800
I\'m sure
that\'s what they wonder about.
01:08:35.880 --> 01:08:39.440
Should we cross here or there?
Here?
01:08:40.400 --> 01:08:45.600
I also feel it was very difficult
to understand at first.
01:08:46.480 --> 01:08:51.720
It really was. I don\'t think
I understood it until I was -
01:08:51.800 --> 01:08:55.160
- maybe 12 or 13.
01:08:56.720 --> 01:09:00.440
I didn\'t understand
when I first heard about it.
01:09:00.520 --> 01:09:03.120
I was so confused.
01:09:03.200 --> 01:09:09.120
We weren\'t allowed to talk about it.
And when I felt a need to talk, -
01:09:09.200 --> 01:09:12.760
- she didn\'t want to talk about it.
01:09:12.840 --> 01:09:16.160
It\'s hard to be alone with it.
01:09:16.240 --> 01:09:18.800
When you\'re on your own.
01:09:21.320 --> 01:09:24.800
I didn\'t see you for a while
after it came out.
01:09:24.880 --> 01:09:29.400
And I felt a need to see you,
see if you were OK.
01:09:37.160 --> 01:09:40.080
What also bothers me -
01:09:41.200 --> 01:09:45.640
- is that this was happening
and I didn\'t even notice.
01:09:45.720 --> 01:09:49.680
It\'s not your fault.
You were just a child.
01:09:51.360 --> 01:09:55.960
He was an adult
and he had a hold on our family -
01:09:57.720 --> 01:10:00.680
- that no one else could see.
01:10:30.320 --> 01:10:32.840
It\'s going to be fine.
01:10:32.920 --> 01:10:34.760
It is.
01:10:44.000 --> 01:10:47.880
- Would you like some coffee?
- Yes, thank you.
01:10:47.960 --> 01:10:50.320
Since you\'re offering.
01:10:51.320 --> 01:10:54.640
- With milk?
- Just a dash.
01:10:59.040 --> 01:11:02.680
- They should be here.
- They\'ll be here at 10:30.
01:11:02.760 --> 01:11:05.920
And now it\'s...
What time is it?
01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:08.720
- 10:35.
- You\'re right.
01:11:09.840 --> 01:11:12.440
- Have you been thinking a lot?
- Yes.
01:11:12.520 --> 01:11:14.200
It will be fine.
01:11:15.280 --> 01:11:19.760
You know,
I have told Marco and Ariana -
01:11:19.840 --> 01:11:23.240
- that none of this is your fault.
01:11:23.320 --> 01:11:26.480
So don\'t worry about that.
01:11:26.560 --> 01:11:31.920
Don\'t think they\'re angry with you
or anything like that.
01:11:33.280 --> 01:11:37.360
OK?
You haven\'t done anything wrong.
01:11:37.440 --> 01:11:40.280
- Now now, not then.
- I know.
01:11:40.360 --> 01:11:42.240
You know that.
01:11:43.040 --> 01:11:47.520
And they love you just as much,
regardless.
01:12:03.120 --> 01:12:05.520
Hello!
01:12:05.600 --> 01:12:09.640
My hands are a little wet.
Welcome!
01:12:09.720 --> 01:12:11.520
Hi.
01:12:11.600 --> 01:12:15.560
It isn\'t the world\'s biggest hall,
but...
01:12:22.720 --> 01:12:24.480
They\'re here.
01:12:25.800 --> 01:12:28.080
Those people are here.
01:12:29.880 --> 01:12:32.840
- Hi, I\'m Ariana.
- I\'m Tale.
01:12:33.600 --> 01:12:35.760
- Emilie!
- Hello.
01:12:45.160 --> 01:12:49.120
We\'ll sit in our regular spots.
01:12:49.200 --> 01:12:52.400
You can sit wherever you want.
01:12:54.440 --> 01:12:58.440
Do you want a word with them first?
01:12:58.520 --> 01:13:02.160
- Sure.
- Just a few minutes?
01:13:04.960 --> 01:13:09.080
I\'m sitting there.
That\'s my regular spot.
01:13:30.080 --> 01:13:33.840
Do you know what you\'re going to say?
01:13:33.920 --> 01:13:38.400
Yes, I\'ll be the first one to speak.
01:13:38.480 --> 01:13:43.520
You\'ll be first?
What did you talk about with them now?
01:13:43.600 --> 01:13:48.720
They thought what I wanted to say
sounded pretty smart.
01:13:49.760 --> 01:13:55.840
That it was well-prepared,
although I didn\'t prepare much at all.
01:13:56.320 --> 01:14:00.560
I\'m very proud of you.
Give me a hug.
01:14:02.440 --> 01:14:05.160
- Ready to go in?
Yes.
