WEBVTT

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[music]

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My name is Yuka Sekiguchi.

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I\'m a 49-year-old single
mom and a filmmaker.

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I have been overweight for most of
my life and I must admit, \"I love

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food.\" I\'m just looking at my big
tummy, that\'s all. But being fat is no

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fun. I\'ve got high blood
pressure, I can\'t walk properly,

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and I don\'t sleep well at night.
What\'s really sad

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is that I can no longer keep up with
my seven-year-old son. I\'ve tried

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everything to get thinner. Oh, yuck.
But I\'ve just got fatter and fatter.

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So in a last-ditch attempt to
downsize, I\'m risking everything

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and doing the whole thing on camera.
Maybe the fear

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of public shame is the only way
that I will succeed. I\'m determined

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to dump the fat and become
healthier and happier.

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I was born in Yokohama,

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Japan. We were an ordinary Japanese family,

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except I was a fat kid.
Being fat in Japan is no

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joke. I was often teased, and I
was terribly self-conscious.

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In 1981 when I was 23, I
left and came to Australia.

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This was definitely the
place where I could fit

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in. Australia was full of fatties.

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Over the next 25 years, I
got married, had a child,

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and I got divorced. I put
on more than 30 kilos and

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became the fattest I\'ve
ever been in my life.

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Now, I\'m a desperate woman on a mission.
I know that if I don\'t do it

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now, it will never happen. I\'ve given
myself the next six months, until my 50th

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birthday, to transform myself.

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Input your age.

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Input your height. I\'m too
embarrassed to go a gym,

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so I come here for a quick fix.

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Starting measurement. Don\'t move or speak, please.
The Slim Lounge caters mostly for overweight

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Asian women. Measurement completed.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. OK. I\'m seriously obese.
For my height I should be, like,

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57.8 kilo. Wait. I\'m, I\'m

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how many kilo over? What, probably about

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35. Is it 40? Really? I can\'t

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do the math, now. I\'m just so shocked.

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Ah!

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This wonderful machine is supposed
to break down my body fat

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without doing any exercise. Even this
easy way of losing weight is hard.

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[music]

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Look at my tummy. It\'s
bigger than when I was

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pregnant. This is exactly why I\'ve no

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exercise for so long.

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I knew I was seriously obese, but I, it\'s,

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kind of, really, really seriously obese.
I feel like

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crying, really. It\'s funny,

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but it\'s also quite serious at the same time. It\'s just, kind
of, for the first time I realize that that\'s as I\'m trying to

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do from now on over six months,
it\'s going to be a quite

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challenge, really, in many aspects.
And I just hope

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I can sustain, you know?

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[music]

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In theory, it should be quite
straight forward. Exercise

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more and eat less. Actually,
my leg\'s hurting.

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Ah!

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Ah!

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Exercise was never my strong

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point, but dieting is even worse.

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And I\'ve tried them all: apple
diet, cabbage soup diet,

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vegetables, Atkins, diet shakes,
and high protein. Every new one I

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tried I felt, \"This is it\". But
they all ended the same way: in

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failure and despair.

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If this time is going to be different,
I\'m going to need some expert

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advice. The first thing is it, it\'s got,
it has to be a lifestyle change. And that

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lifestyle change involves reducing
calorific volume that you take in, and

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increasing the calorific volume that you expend.
Yeah. Yeah. There\'s no magic to this. And people who

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talk about the Atkins Diet and the grapefruit
diet and all that being, having magical

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val-, uh, properties and... Mm... there being negative calories and
all that, are just totally deluded. Mm. It doesn\'t work that way. Mm.

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It works by the amount of calories that you take in... Mm-hmm... the amount of
calories you ta-, expend. Actually one of the reasons I\'ve put on weight is

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fad diets I did. Always, always
come back and come back more.

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Yeah. Diets don\'t work because you can\'t stay on a diet for
the rest of your life. No. By definition, a diet means going

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on something. That\'s right. That also means coming off it.
That\'s right. Which means, when you come off that your body goes

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back. We have this typical tick shape, uh, return, where
you lose a bit of weight, but then you put on more

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than what you lost. Yes. And that\'s your body saying, \"Hey,
uh, this was, I went through a famine here. I\'m gonna

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protect myself next time. So I\'ll give myself a little bit
more fat.\" Mm. Mm. And this is why women actually wind up

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fatter later in life... Mm... as a result of these.
We call it the river method of girth control. Mm. Mm.

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Up and down. Up and down. Mm. And, and eventually
your metabolic rate slows down... Mm-hmm... and you

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put on fat much more
regularly as you get older.

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[music]

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It\'s no wonder I gave up
dieting so easily. Pizza\'s

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much more fun. Can we have one
large ham and pineapple... Yes.

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With mozz-, mozzarella? With mozzarella?
Mozzarella. Nothing makes me happier

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than eating pizza with my seven-year-old,
Amol. You\'re not allowed to

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have pizza anyway. Why\'s that? Because
you\'ll, because you\'ll get fatter and

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fatter and fatter and fatter. And ready to
die. Gosh. That\'s really nice, isn\'t it?

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Coming from, you know, my own son. God.

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The trouble is, though, that
I have no control. I just

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can\'t stop. It\'s really scary,
and I\'d like to know why.

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How are you, Yuka? Hi, Dr.

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Blair-West. How are you feeling about
coming in to see a psychiatrist to

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look at these issues? Nervous.
I\'m going to spend time

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not just talking to you about your
weight history... Mm-hmm... but also

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about your life. How you got to be
where you are now. So when did the

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binging start? I noticed
my binging probably, um...

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probably during a marriage, actually.
Right. I was sadly unhappy.

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What do those binges look like?
Pizza. Pizza? Pizza.

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Pizza. Pizza. OK. How would that happen?

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Would you... After he goes to bed and I just, kind
of, you know, just sneaks out of bed and, you know,

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just rings. So you order your
favorite pizza. What size? Uh,

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oof. Large. A large one. How did,
how, wh-, when the delivery guy

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arrived... Yes... how did you avoid him ringing
the doorbell and waking your husband up? Waiting

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outside. You wa-, you\'d wait outside for the... Yes...
delivery man. Mm-hmm. And then would you eat the entire pizza?

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Look, while we\'re at it. Are there
any other foods that you binge on?

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Chocolate. Mm-hmm. What would
trigger binging on chocolate?

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Probably something, something,
um, I got through something.

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You know, it\'s a happy kind of occasion. This is,
OK. So this is quite different from pizza. This is,

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this is a reward, isn\'t it?
So what we\'ve got here, is

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we\'ve food relating to very
specific emotional states for you.

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Mm-hmm. Negative emotional state
equals pizza. Positive emotional

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state equals chocolate. Interesting,
isn\'t it? Do we have any other... Foods.

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Foods that you overeat? Rice.
Rice? And dare I ask?

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Does that have a particular
emotional state that... My

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goodness. I think it\'s, uh, more than enough. Wh-, when,
when, when, when do we eat rice? When do we... Dad.

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Sorry? My father. How does that work?
My father is a rice

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merchant. Is your father still alive, or is
he dead? Dead. And how long ago did he die?

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7 years. He was...

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probably he was the first one to introduce
us the love of food. He loved food

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so much. Am I right in saying you had a
very close relationship? Yes, we did.

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We did. Anything goes, you have to

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cut rice out, unless I die inside.

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Sorry. It just...

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[music] I was my dad\'s

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favorite and I was always with him
at the rice factory. He was a

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teenager during World War
II when Japan surrendered.

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This photo of General MacArthur and
the Emperor Hirohito, in 1945,

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changed Japan and my father forever.
Seeing this photo was a

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moment when the Japanese finally
realized that they were defeated.

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MacArthur, the new American
Emperor, introduced a

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milk, cheese, and meat ration
to the starving population.

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My dad embraced it passionately.

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He became convinced that it was this
Western food that helped the allies

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win the war, and he showed me
how to love it too. We even

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came to dislike the traditional Japanese
food that my mother cooked for us. This

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really upset her. Me and food,

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food and me. It\'s just too complicated.
Changing my eating

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habits will not be easy. The next
five months is going to be an uphill

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struggle.

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[music]

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Unfortunately,

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exercise is unavoidable if I\'m going to
succeed in losing weight. Up. Up. Up.

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Oh, make it. C\'mon, you can do it.
OK. Bring yourself up. Go.

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Two. Two. I haven\'t seen the
inside of a gym for ages.

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OK. That means I have absolutely
no muscle in my stomach.

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I\'ve joined a local
women-only fitness club.

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The idea is, \"We, girls, help each other
out.\" Good. All right. You look good. Nice.

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This is Margaret. She\'s nearly 20 years older than I am, and she\'s
the fittest one here. Eight. One, two, three ...You have to be

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serious.

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See, look at this lady, here. You have to be dedicated. Dedicated.
Dedicated. Dedicated. How long... Three times, three times a

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week. At least. At least. At least. At least. At least
three times a week. How much did you lose, your weight?

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Overall, I\'ve lost 21 kilos in about 11
months. Really? Yeah. Because look at you.

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Can I touch this? Oh, yeah. I wish
mine were like that. But I am a person

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who is ashamed of her body. For
me, this is a big step to take.

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As much as I like to say that size doesn\'t matter,
but I think size does matter. I don\'t feel

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comfortable. Big parts of my brain

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and mind tell me this is not
the size I should be. So,

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definitely, it doesn\'t make me feel happy.
C\'mon. Well done,

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well done. So that\'s three sessions next
week, and you\'ve got to turn up for those

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three sessions. OK. OK? All this punishment, and still the weight
won\'t come off. The trouble is, I\'m meeting my psychiatrist in a few

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weeks. Unless I make some
progress, he might dump me.

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None of these

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diets will work with me. They\'re all
about saying no, and I hate saying

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no. I can\'t afford to fail. I\'ve got a

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camera following me this time,
and I don\'t want to look stupid.

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So I\'m embarking on a strict,

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no-frills diet. For quick results,
I\'m drinking diet shakes.

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Ah, yuck! I\'m eating lots of

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veggies. I\'ve got rid of anything too

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tempting, and I\'ve even given up rice.

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I\'ve had to keep a food diary for my
psychiatrist, and I think he\'ll be pretty

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impressed. Oh, yeah. This looks
a bit scary. Organic carrot-

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apple-ginger juice, organic
scrambled eggs, mini tomatoes

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and spinach, you and Popeye. Half a KETO protein
bar. I don\'t even know what that is, but it

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doesn\'t sound like much fun. Where\'s the
interesting food? Well, let\'s look at the

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next day. Yes. \'Cuz I, you know, this is, this
is a bit too good to be true. I, I can\'t...

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Oh, look at this, \"3:00.
Getting more tired\". Yeah,

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well there\'s a reason for that.
You\'re not eating anything.

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You know, you, you, you\'ve,
you, I\'ll, I\'ll hand it to you.

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You, you\'ve, uh, absolutely
undertaken a traditional

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diet. Yes. .That we know has about a five year,
well, forget five years. It has a failure

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rate of at least 80%. Right.
And I would predict if you

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keep on doing this, you\'re gonna have to break out
and, and, and binge at some point. Yes. I think

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I will. I mean, what\'s there to look forward to here?
Nothing. What are you looking forward to out of

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today? What are you looking forward
to eating today? Actually, as a

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matter of fact, chocolate. So... Yeah. Because, because
I\'ve done so good. So you, did you, did you...

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I\'m so good. Did you already? Yes. Started to
give yourself permission to give yourself some

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chocolate? Yeah, because I\'ve been so good. Yeah. I
should be rewarded. That\'s what I\'m thinking. So good,

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you should be rewarded. Well I\'m going
to plan for you. Let\'s put the reward

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into the eating lifestyle.
Instead of diet, reward

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diet. And what I\'d like you to do,
is see if you can have... Mm-hmm.

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Two, or maybe three, squares...
Mm-hmm... for

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morning tea. Yes. OK? Morning tea? Morning tea. Because that way we\'re gonna spend the day burning
it off, right? Yeah, yeah. The worst time of day to have it is before we go to bed at night.

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Well, actually, you\'re asking me to have a chocolate?
Yeah. I\'m, I\'m not asking you, I\'m telling you.

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No talking. Mm-hmm. No on the phone,
no television. Mm-hmm. The world

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stops. Mm-hmm. Where you pay attention... Mm-hmm... and fully
savor it. Mm-hmm. Because the chocolate you\'re going to eat

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otherwise... Right. How are we gonna feel when
you ate it? What\'s going to be the dominant

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emotion? Guilt. Guilt, that\'s right.
OK? So we wanna

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reverse that. Right. When you have this chocolate, it\'s
prescribed chocolate. You\'re supposed to be having it.

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If I had a script pad with me...
Yes. You would write it,

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really? That, that\'s how serious it is.
It\'d be like, it\'s like me

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prescribing a medication to you.
OK? OK. It is important for

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your, your health that you eat chocolate.
I can\'t believe what I\'m

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hearing, George.

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I can tell you I\'m the happiest

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person right now. I\'m flattered. Wow.

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So this is no-skim business. This is full,

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hot chocolate. Sorry, I\'m just so...

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[music]

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George is right. The diet would never have

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lasted, and I can\'t go back to pizza.

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I need a completely fresh approach.

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Maybe it\'s time to get back to my roots.

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I\'ve come to see my friend,

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Etsuko, for a Japanese cooking lesson.

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She was overweight herself until
she switched to a Japanese

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diet two years ago.

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You\'d never know it

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looking at me, but the Japanese have
the lowest rate of obesity and heart

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disease in the developed world.

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Healthy food like this always makes me feel

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depressed.

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Hm. Look at this portion, not much.

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That\'s what... Should be for you. Yeah.
I should be happy with this.

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This is exactly the sort of food
that my mom used to cook for my dad

00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.999
and I. It takes a lot of effort to prepare.
So I can see

00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:45.000
why she got upset when we sneaked
away to eat steak and chips.

00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:55.000
[Non-English Speech]

00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:10.000
It tastes great, but I could go
for a burger and chips right now.

00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:24.999
[music]

00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:29.999
Two months have gone and my

00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.999
waistline is still expanding.
Where have I gone wrong?

00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:39.999
The dieting

00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:44.999
principles are supposed to be so simple.
And I eat less, more exercise.

00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:49.999
But what I\'m finding out through
myself is, it\'s not that

00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
simple. You\'re having a shandy tonight.
A fir-, it\'s an introduction to beer.

00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
Having a little shandy. I always seem
to sabotage my own diets, but it\'s

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:05.000
Christmas. How do I say no, just when I\'m
trying to prove that I\'m an Australian.

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
I couldn\'t possibly finish all of this.
It\'s so much, Jackie. You shouldn\'t

00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
eat so much. Since I\'ve been in Australia,

00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
I\'ve always eaten and drunken to fit in.

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
I never wanted to stand out. I
call it, \"My Margaret Mentality\".

00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
I wanted to embrace everything
that the west had to offer,

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
just like my dad had done in Japan.

00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
I managed to lose six
kilos at the beginning,

00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
but now I\'ve

00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
let it slide. Yum. My

00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
favorite. Wow, pizza.

00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
Old habits die hard. The

00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
binging is back, as is my weight.

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:18.000
But what scares me is that
I\'m still obese, and I\'m a

00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
prime candidate for Type 2 Diabetes.
My father was

00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
exactly the same. He had no
control, whatsoever, over food,

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
and was diagnosed with Type 2
Diabetes at the age of 42.

00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
He was 89 kilos then. The same

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
weight I am now.

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:53.000
I should really go see my
doctor for a blood test,

00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
but I don\'t think I can face it.
However, I do have an appointment with

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
another doctor. Please, take a seat.

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
Thank you very much. Perhaps I can find a
quick way to shed the weight that I\'ve put

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
back on. So, how can I help you? I,

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
I\'ve been working to transform myself.
Yep. But as I

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
lose weight, I find it\'s really, really
hard to get results, you know? In

00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
important areas. Is that normal, probably? Uh,
it\'s not uncommon. You generally lose it from

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
places you don\'t want to lose it. Particularly in women, who
might lose more weight from their breast, and keep it on their

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
backside and on their belly. True. Um, and
there\'s differences between different,

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
sort of, families and groups. Mm-hmm. And your own,
sort of, you know, way in which you put fat there.

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
And it might be, yeah, your belly is the place
that you really struggle to get that fat off. Mm.

00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
Well, actually, I must say you\'re right, because my, my
father\'s size... Mm-hmm... is always like my body shape.

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
Don\'t have really big thighs
or hips, but his... Yeah...

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
problem. There\'s definitely a certain amount of it you just can\'t
control, and there\'s nothing you can do about it. Right. And there\'s

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
nothing I\'m going to be able to do about it
either. And the area that most concerns you

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
is really ... Yeah. Mid- ... Now
I\'m seeing it. Midriff. Yeah.

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
Now I\'m seeing it just, kind of, everywhere. But...
Yeah. Yeah. OK. But this is your, this is what you\'re

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
talking about mainly, all right.
Yes. Yes. Really, it

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
doesn\'t matter how much weight you lose. It has...
Whatever weight you lose, you\'ll always have

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
what we call the little \"Apron Hip\". And the only
way for that apron to be removed... Yes... will be

00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
a tummy tuck operation. You have to do it, yeah.
And I\'m not trying to sell to you here. Yeah.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
No, no. I mean, you\'re free to make a decision.
But that won\'t go with your weight lose.

00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
See, look where that is. You\'re gonna
have a scar that goes from there...

00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
Yeah... across to here. Yeah. The maximum
that I would ever, um, undertake as a

00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
liposuction procedure would, probably, mean
four kilos of weight loss at the most.

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
Right. And four kilos of weight loss would be about
half a day in, in theatre. Yeah. And many, many

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
weeks getting better. Do... You really feel
bashed about after liposuction. How long? You?

00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
I tell people that it\'ll be three months...
Three months?... before starting to feel like

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
they\'re really there. OK. There\'s easier
ways to lose four kilos than liposuction.

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
Cosmetic surgery is no soft option.
If I had the $10,000 it would

00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
cost, I\'d be quite tempted.
Mainly because I\'ve got a huge

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:34.999
crush on the doctor. Just, yeah. Mm.
I mean, I really like you very much.

00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.999
I think that\'s, that\'s a very
important part. I think that\'s...

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
Isn\'t it?... that\'s a really, really important
part. If you don\'t like me and I don\'t like you,

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
we\'re not going to be happy with the outcome.
Right. There\'s no question about that one.

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
Yeah.

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
1 back, 2, 3, 4, 5. Actually I was a bit

00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
surprised with myself. When
he told me that even after I

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
work so hard, I can\'t get rid of, you know,
this part. I understand a little bit, you know?

00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
It would be nice to get rid of
the flap here. Are you OK to run

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
back? Yes. I think you are. So for that
aspect I was really interested, but Dr...

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
what\'s his name?

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
Oh, Sean, Sean. Yeah, Sean was gorgeous.

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
The gorgeous doctor has got my
heart beating faster. I haven\'t

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
thought about men in that way
for a long time. This is really

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
good. Well done. It wasn\'t
that bad now, was it? Bad.

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
Do you want to go back, again?
You know what? What? What?

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
People will be looking at us.
Well, it\'s OK.

00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
As I\'m losing weight I\'m
gaining confidence.

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
I\'ve got men on my

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
mind.

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
I\'ve come to see this premiere

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
dating agency to see what
my chances are. There\'s a

00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
prediction that, um, in the year 2020,
25% of hou-, households will be occupied

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
by women on their own. Right. You know, we live
in many ways a lonely society. Can I also say...

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
Well, that\'s a positive start. Let\'s see

00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
what chances a fat, middle-aged,
Japanese, single mom has... the

00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
values out there that are so superficial.
If we look at your own situation,

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
we need to look at... Yes... um, age.
It becomes increasingly...

00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
Hard... hard... Yeah, OK...
for us as we age. Strike

00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
one. What about being Japanese?
The majority of people who

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
are seeking a partner are often
seeking commonality. Right. So we

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
certainly would be cutting the database...
Right... around that one. Mm-hmm.

00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
Strike two. Again, the fact that you are 50

00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
with a seven-year-old... Mm-hmm...
actually, also,

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
would create another barrier.
Strike three. What about,

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
I\'m overweight? The reality is...
Yes?... the majority of men...

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
Don\'t like fat women. And neither do women want fat
men. I think for a lot of people weight reflects,

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
uh, a lack of concern for one\'s health.
Mm. So... For fitness. Mm-hmm.

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
And so on. Quite apart from the aesthetic.
Mm-hmm. Strike four.

00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
But Yvonne has some last words of comfort
for me. Do you know, a friend of mine

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
used to say, \"For every Mrs. Hippo,
there\'s a Mr. Hippo somewhere\". Yeah.

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
And it, and it, you know, we need to
hold that... Yes... in mind. So... OK?

00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
Yes, it makes sense. Very true.

00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
Oh, thanks a lot. Now I feel

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
much more positive.

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
I may improve my chances with
a little work on my wardrobe.

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
It looks a bit loose on you.
I\'m shrinking. If I can\'t

00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
lose the weight quickly, maybe
I better learn to hide it.

00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
Mm... maybe. What you wanna do
is, probably, accentuate certain

00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
areas. Right. Which, I mean, do you feel like you have to hide certain
parts of your body, or you\'re just... Yeah... not happy with your stomach?

00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
Yeah, always. You\'ve

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
got to be joking. What
you should do is use the

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
darker colors at the bottom. And always use brighter
colors at the top, because it draws the attention

00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
to the face. Right. If you\'re going to wear something
bright on the bottom and dark on top, they\'re going to look

00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
straight down here. The bottom, yeah.
And it\'s not very flattering.

00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
It is an illusion. Mm. You choose where you want people
to look at you. Do you want to see how this fits

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
first? Hm.

00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
This is a strapless top. Oh no!

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:28.000
I don\'t think so.

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
Wow.

00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
All I want to do now is show my body off.

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
Dating.

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
I\'ve decided to look for a man by myself.
(inaudible)

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
Speed Dating. This is Glen speaking. Yes, I
want, I\'m actually interested in getting

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
some information about speed dating.
Which city do you live in? Uh, Sydney.

00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
And how old are you? How old I am?
Yep. Uh, 49.

00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
OK. We don\'t currently have any events for
your age group. Um, we, we do sometimes

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:15.000
hold events for 40\'s, 50\'s, but we don\'t
have any scheduled at the moment. Right.

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
Hello? Hi. Is that Peter? Yep.
Peter, it\'s Yuka. Hi,

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
Yuka. Right. What are
you looking for, Peter?

00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
Finally, I\'ve had a response from a telephone
dating service. Are you looking for sex?

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
I was hoping to meet somebody and, um...
That\'s pretty upfront.

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
Uh, pretty bold, I guess. How about that?

00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
Ah, dear, dear. It\'s a good, great start,

00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:55.000
isn\'t it? Uh, God. S**t.

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:08.000
[music] [music]

00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
This is, uh, yellow soybean

00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
that, um, Etsuko taught me how to cook.

00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
It\'s high in protein, but
absolutely no meat at all.

00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
This is baby, baby clams

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
that, um, in Japan we often make

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
miso soup

00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
with, but the downside of it is it takes a little
time, you know? You have to prepare to do it.

00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
With all this hard work, I should be losing
more weight and feeling on top of the world.

00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
But instead, I\'m feeling
fat, frumpy, and tired.

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
I haven\'t been feeling well. I\'ve
been avoiding it, but now I have to

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
go and see my doctor. I want
to know if there\'s a problem.

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
I\'ve been to see, um, my GP Dr. Solomens.

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
So he urged me to have a blood test.
Uh, I went in and did it,

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
and here it says, you know, I
ha-, I have, uh, Type 2 Diabetes

00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
now. And really that\'s

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
what I\'ve been dreading, you know?

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:40.000
That\'s it. Oh well.

00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.999
[music]

00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.999
The symptoms of Type 2 Diabetes
develop slowly and may not be noticed

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
immediately. It affects almost every
part of the body. The disease

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
can contribute to stroke,
blindness, heart disease,

00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
kidney failure, and amputation.

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
Hello?

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
Hello, George. I got, uh,
blood test result today.

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
Oh, yes. Yes. And I\'m officially

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
Diabetes Type 2. So one thing I, I,
I\'m really gonna put front and center

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
with you to start thinking about is,
how long do you wanna live? Right.

00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
That was what really struck me as I

00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.999
went through everything we\'ve done today...
Mm-hmm... is that, you know, in all these

00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.999
different areas that people usually use
to define themselves... Mm-hmm. You

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
have really not had a clear path in

00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
any of them to look back on. Mm. \'Cuz you\'ve been a
bit displaced really, haven\'t you? Yes. Yes. Yes.

00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
You came from Japan. You weren\'t
super keen to go back there. Mm-hmm.

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
And your fitting into Australia, that
hasn\'t been entirely easy for you. Mm-hmm.

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
Your marriage hasn\'t worked out. So relationships
have also been a disjointed journey for you.

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
Very much, very much. And, of course, when we don\'t have a clear sense
of who we are, and what we do, and what we don\'t do, which is a

00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
really important part of knowing who
we are and what we do... Sure. Then

00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
not much of anything makes sense to us in
terms of wh-, why even bother losing weight?

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
Mm. What is it that I\'m trying to achieve? Mm-hmm. Where am
I going? Mm-hmm. If we\'re not clear on where we going and

00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
why we\'re doing it... Mm-hmm. Then... Yes, I understand.
There\'s no good argument to lose weight. Mm.

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
There\'s no good argument. This is really the big idea that I
want you to think about. Mm-hmm. There\'s no good argument,

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
necessarily, to live.

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
Oh.

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
Yeah.

00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
What\'s that feel for you when I say that?
Devastating.

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
Why? Uh,

00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
you, you know, think that

00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
I have something to live for.

00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
You\'d like to think that you have
something to live for, but that reaction

00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
tells me there\'s a big questions about that there. There\'s a lot
of people out there and a lot of them are overweight, because I

00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
see this all the time. Without any great
sense of who they are... Right. And

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
where they\'re going. Right. And eating...

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
Yes... seems a pretty reasonable
alternative. And if it\'s not balanced

00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
up against anything else we want
to do, like live a longer life,

00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:54.999
then at the end of the day
there\'s no great motivation.

00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.999
And we\'re talking the real building blocks of
motivation to lose weight. Mm. We\'ve got to want to

00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
live. Mm-hmm. And, you know,
listening to your story,

00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
I think you can do it. Mm-hmm.
But there\'s a chance you

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
may not.

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
Mm.

00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
[music]

00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
The psychotherapy

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
session with George today was pretty, uh,

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
confronting again. I mean,
unless I confront the issues,

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
probably, I\'ll never be
successful in losing weight.

00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
That\'s my fear right now. I never

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
thought weight has this depth.
I never, ever

00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
thought about that in my life. I mean,
fascinating but it\'s painful at the

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:05.000
same time.

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
My father suffered from Type 2 Diabetes for
30 years. He didn\'t do anything about it.

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:23.000
He didn\'t control his

00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
diet, and he even refused
insulin treatment.

00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
My mom was always battling
to get him to eat

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
healthy, Japanese food, and they
fought a lot. I never understood the

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
seriousness of the situation, and I used to
think that my mom was the cause of my father\'s

00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
unhappiness.

00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
When my dad

00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
rebelled against her and sneaked
off, it was fun to go with him.

00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
We used to go the movies
and eat Western junk food.

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
I saw him for the last
time in 2001, in Japan.

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
A few days after I left, he
died at home of a heart attack.

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
A lot of your life, in one way or another, has
been lived around your relationship with your

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
father. Hmm. And, and the guilt you were carrying about
his death. We didn\'t really get to touch on it too much

00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
in here, but I wondered
how much of you, um,

00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
slowing killing yourself by getting
overweight and playing Russian Roulette with

00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.999
diabetes, um, is also punishment for
that feeling that you had. That if

00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:44.999
maybe you\'d been there, because you\'re stronger than your
mother, maybe you could\'ve gotten him out and got help sooner,

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
and you failed him and... Mm.

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
Possible. Your father didn\'t
help you at all by taking you

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
out to junk food restaurants, and
sneaking you into the movies, and giving

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
you more popcorn and, you know, the rest of it.
Right. While you h-, had this lovely, close, warm

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
relationship with your father, he didn\'t
do you any favors when he did this.

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
OK. You know? Just as we
probably need to, um,

00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
accept and embrace the things
that your mother had for you...

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
Mm. And we need to let go of some of the
unhealthy things that your father... Mm...

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
gave you. Ah.

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:35.000
You\'ve got a lot to process.
Yes, that\'s good.

00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:48.000
[music]

00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
My father died seven years ago

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
during cherry blossom season, and my mom
has asked me to come home to attend his

00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
remembrance ceremony.

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
This is a restaurant that Dad and I used to

00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
go to when I was girl. I just can\'t believe
it. The restaurant is still there. That\'s,

00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
uh, our favorite restaurant.
I must\'ve been about

00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.999
10. Still the same sign, too.
I don\'t believe it.

00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
People come to this restaurant
for the greasy American food.

00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
I now realize how mom must\'ve felt.
The truth is,

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:44.999
I\'m nervous about going home.
I\'ve always felt that I was

00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:50.000
never quite good enough for my mom.

00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:10.000
Hm.

00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.999
She

00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.999
really makes me anxious and
doesn\'t let me get away with

00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:44.999
anything. But for the first
time, I appreciate that.

00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.999
Mom is the only person who sees me
as I really am, and it makes me

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:55.000
want to stay on with her.

00:44:05.000 --> 00:44:10.000
So then...

00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:20.000
Hm.

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:45.000
[Non-English Speech]

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:30.000
[music]

00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:18.000
[music]

00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:34.999
I\'ve visited

00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.999
Japan many times in the last 25 years,
but I never felt so happy to be here.

00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.999
It\'s been great seeing mom again,
and she\'s never asked me to

00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:49.999
come home before. I guess
she can see me changing.

00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.999
Though I\'ve made a life in Australia
now, I\'m really embracing

00:46:55.000 --> 00:47:00.000
my Japanese-ness.

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:13.000
[music]

00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.999
Hey, Margaret! Hey!

00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:34.999
Good morning. It is, isn\'t it?

00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:39.999
So you\'ve lost now a total of 16? Yeah.
Gosh, that brilliant! That\'s

00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.999
very good, indeed. Yeah. You
have to keep it off. Yes.

00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.999
Through this, uh, film I finally
realized that, uh, the key

00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.999
for me to lose weight, or more
confident about who I am,

00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:59.999
is I really have to come to terms with
my Japanese-ness. Psychologically,

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.999
um, I\'m really happy,
probably, happiest, you know,

00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:09.999
for long, long time, uh, since I
realized: Yes, this is who I am.

00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:14.999
I am Japanese and I\'m happy with that.

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.999
Wonderful! Um, so I\'m just

00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.999
eating to be myself. Yeah.
That\'s what it is, really.

00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:29.999
So eating to be myself. Um, I don\'t

00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.999
have to overeat, and that\'s, kind of,

00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:39.999
makes sense to me now. That I don\'t, I
haven\'t got really big slip-up even,

00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:44.999
because I\'m very happy. I think
that\'s the key. 8, 9, 10. 1, 2, 3,

00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.999
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Returning to

00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:54.999
that traditional Japanese
diet is, you know,

00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:59.999
begi-, beginning of my life... 50\'s.

00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.999
Wow. Happy

00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.999
Birthday. Happy Birthday. Thank
you so much. Happy Birthday

00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:14.999
to me. At the end of six months I\'m
not as thin as I wanted to be,

00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.999
but I\'m less than 80
kilos for the first time

00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.999
in 10 years.

00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.999
My priorities have changed. Food
is still important, but it\'s

00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:34.999
not everything.

00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:39.999
I won!

00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.999
I still look forward to chocolate,
but I don\'t have to eat it everyday.

00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:49.999
It just doesn\'t feel like me. So...
My diabetes is under control.

00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.999
I look forward to talking to my mom
every week. And most importantly,

00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:59.999
I am at peace with myself.

00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.999
It\'s had an effect on my social life too.

00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.999
The guy I\'m gonna meet today
is the most decent one that

00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:14.999
I\'ve got ever replied, you know?
And we, we exchanged a couple

00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:19.999
emails and... um, I\'m so out of practice.

00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:24.999
God. I don\'t know.

00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.999
I think I\'ll wear this. Look at
that, all black. How about that?

00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:34.999
This is body conscious, I think.

00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:39.999
[Non-English Speech]

00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:44.999
Six months ago I wasn\'t even

00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:49.999
interested in going out on a date,

00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:54.999
but now I feel that I
can do anything I want.

00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.999
After all, thin girls
can\'t have all the fun.

00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.999
Fat chance? We\'ll see.

00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:09.999
Ah, it\'s getting hot!

00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:14.999
So, uh... boy, he talks.

00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.999
And,

00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:24.999
but he said he really enjoyed my
company, and he\'d like to go out.

00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:29.999
So I said, \"OK, let\'s do that\".

00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:34.999
Everybody loves a happy ending,
so I\'ll tell you mine.

00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:39.999
I found the man I like, and
he likes me as I am. So maybe

00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:45.000
for every Mrs. Hippo, there
really is a Mr. Hippo.

00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:55.000
[music]