WEBVTT

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[sil.]

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[music]

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I\'m going to upstate professional facility,

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Bare Hill Road, Malone, New York.
There you go and a child (inaudible).

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[sil.]

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Well, you can watch, they\'re going to see their
family members, they sacrifice it right now

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– they sacrifice in the – they go see them.
I did touch and I feel straight,

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you know what I man and my family you
know they still find me and encourage me

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to do the right thing, so if no money that you could pay someone to
standby you. Would you know what have, my son would have listened to me,

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he wouldn\'t be where he at today. But we got
to see the fact, that\'s still my child,

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I\'m going right downward to the end.

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[music]

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[sil.]

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My brother was in prison and I asked him

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did he know some nice guys? So he
put a couple of guys on the phone

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and then Hakim(ph) got on the phone and I asked him
to tell me something about himself to write me.

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So, I went to visit him in 1998, and
I\'ve been going to visit him ever since.

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I married him at Riverview
Correctional Facility,

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I\'ll never forget the
date November 15th, 2000.

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[music]

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My whole life revolves around the
prison life. Okay. You got 13

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and you got 22 people online. So, I\'ll just go and give
that, and that\'s it. Your bus is right around the corner,

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you know you still got to get a ticket.
I (inaudible) leave at 11 o\'clock.

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So, I always try to tell people. Let\'s try to ride
as a family. Let\'s try to make it as easy as we can.

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You know if you\'re here by the discount share with the next
person. If you can help somebody, help the next person,

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because this is jungle that
nobody wants to go in.

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[sil.]

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I\'m exhausted, well, the
time I leave my house,

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the train is about an hour. And
then I have to wait a line,

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wait for the bus, the whole
trip is 26, 27 hours.

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It\'s for the love of my son.

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Like, you know, it\'s been a whole
week without seeing my husband

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is that\'s like a life time. I\'ve
been doing this for 10 years

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and I my… my suitcase broke last week,

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so now I have shopping cart with all my
stuff and I\'m bringing him food today.

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35 pounds of food. I\'ve
been coming every week.

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And it really takes a toll on you
after a while. We just got married

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… we got married in actually Clinton Facility, in the
facility he is in now. We are married the fourth of March

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and my husband is only … my husband just turned
24 years old and he\'s got 20 to the life.

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Your life also – Yeah. I\'m too…
What is life first? Life is first

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You\'re cracking up soon,

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alcohol kills more people every year, and here
with marijuana and cocaine put together …

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What are all these people waiting for? Where they\'re going
to? Where they\'re going I\'ve no idea… I\'ve no idea.

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Los Angeles, right? I had a lady
talking there, now 15 minutes ago.

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Are you standing and waiting for a new game?
I\'ll leave an old store this is what game?

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It\'s our prison bus line,

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prison, jail, the big house,
that\'s what we go with.

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Surely, I don\'t call him name by name, for anybody
that\'s going up in front of the poor people,

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for to search their hearts, allow them to grand
out family\'s friends and loved ones freedom …

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They help fright man,

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Jose, hello John, (inaudible),

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Carlos Vara they\'re searching
Olivia, (inaudible).

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[music]

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Okay guys; once again, my name is Denise and
I\'m going to be your coordinator for tonight

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and the new people going to have to forgive tonight, because I use
these stand up, the mic is working, guys it\'s good to see a lot smell

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that is so wonderful, everybody is
ready to see their probably too close.

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There\'s no drinking and smoking on this bus
guys, and we do not have curtain on this bus.

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We got a lot of little kids on this bus. The
kids are the most important thing on an AUJ bus.

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You get the boys.

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Guys immigration do stop us on a way coming back,
sometime they get on the bus and sometime they don\'t,

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but please check and make sure you got
the proper ID. If there is anybody

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that\'s going to clean antiques, PO
box 2002, you need your own lock,

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with AJ(ph) will be getting on the bus
and she sells just about everything

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that goes into the facility
as she also sell lots.

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Ladies let\'s do this, toothpaste, water,
(inaudible), blankets on three dollars.

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The bus does get go.

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Anybody else want a blanket

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Well, come on just don\'t make noise, we need
to make full and of. Come on time is money.

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You say thank you. Thank you.
Say have a good busy.

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Have a good busy, anything else want to
say, bike riders oh, no she said it.

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[sil.]

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We want the real thing. Does the batteries come into.
Does the batteries coming free, the first sale is for me.

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[music]

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So, how did it feel to learn?
Excited, got my head down.

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I got my head down I got real nice (inaudible).
I did the strip back at four to four years

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at Attica it is my first time that I\'m going
to claim. He just got trust for the claim,

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so I\'m not used claim. You wanted
the main or (inaudible). Main.

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Okay, guys can I have your attention for like two seconds?
Guys, we are going to touch on the top out of seats

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to the god of your understand, father in
name of Jesus, we came to you right now,

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god is doing from over the dangerous
highways, do not let no hurt

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or danger come amongst us. We actually to bring a though
destination in the name of Jesus and one piece father

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we are main and depending on you
father, in Jesus name, Amen.

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[sil.]

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I can holy like eat now

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maybe, I\'m telling you this is just,
is just something is overwhelming

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like I\'m feeling inside my heart. I
could just scream it out to the world

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finally when I have my husband home.

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In a couple of months Hakim will be going
to the parole board for the fourth time,

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if its god will he will make
it and I\'m very excited.

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[sil.]

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[music]

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Excuse me, wearing those heals and stuff.

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This is six pages,

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I did nearly every day.

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[music]

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This is the man that caught my eye.

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I have been married to him for nine years

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and where of 17 years of prison.

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[music]

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It\'s been in god\'s grace say it\'s 1989

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he never had a chance to be on the outside.

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I\'m going to make sure you guys get attention
to talk to him later, I promise you.

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[music]

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I love him so much.

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[music]

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I know Denise for the past year and she is always really
helpful. She always if you know if you got questions

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and she is with always answers them in best
of her ability. So you just stick them on

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and go on your visit.

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You girls can do it too for
your husbands, hold it

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and then you can batch your
eyes, get very glassy.

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Always encourages you. She prays for everybody
on the bus, everybody\'s inspiration,

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you know, I was real nice
and I\'m excited for her

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when she was telling that her
husband was coming home.

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[music]

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Last year like if any times she ever felt
that she didn\'t want to – like she felt

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this was a long time, it was hard for her
to cope with. I just wanted to see how it,

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how my feelings were against other
people that had same amount of time.

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Sometimes it is hard to you know to even
contemplate you know like twenty years

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like you got each and every
stuff to think, I\'ll be 40

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when my husband gets out of prison.
I will be forty years old.

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I think the people that come
here that we\'re inmates too,

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because what we do effect on them, our husbands, brothers.
Any time you come upstairs and you go into jail

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and how you\'re doing time too. Yeah. And did
tell my husband what is done twenty three years,

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I\'m doing time too, because I feel like. And sometime
the time do you when you get frustrated and stressed.

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And then sometime you feel
like you are one of them

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as you come so much sometimes you feel that
you don\'t want come but you want to come.

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I have met so many people on this journey.

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I have met so many different nationalities.

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There has been times, when not
do it my situation was so bad,

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but I came and contact was someone that
was way more worse than my situation.

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I started going on state
when I was eighteen.

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I will be forty-five July.
How many years again?

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24 years. And I come every Friday
night and sometime I stay there

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and come at the next day, I may stay for
two days. My husband got 25 in life.

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[music]

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He told me I didn\'t have to come
and see him. He told me that

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I can live my life and
do what I want to do,

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he don\'t think I should
just come to jail house.

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It takes a really, really strong person

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to stay during a lot of times the
people, because I know people,

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you know, family members of my husbands and
such that, you know, if they get locked up,

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they get a certain amount of time, but that\'s it, their wife is left with
the kids and for everything fell apart, because they couldn\'t handle it,

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that scares a lot of people away. I mean
the thought of not having somebody for

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you know you think it five, ten years I mean
that\'s a long time. I wasn\'t expecting him

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to get 25 to life, I was expecting to
at least to get 15 or unless than that,

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but he is young, we\'re both young and for
him to go through his life like that

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without seeing his kids,
it\'s hard, it\'s hard for me

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to bring my kids every week to go see him,
but I can abandoned them with their father.

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I can\'t keep their father away from them.
To do stuff like this,

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you got to be with it with every beat of your heart,
because if you\'re not, you might will just leave it.

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You don\'t understand the
impact it has on your life

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and on the person you love and so you really gone
through it. It\'s lot harder than a lot of people think

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they don\'t understand, you know, I played at night, oh my
god, do they food, do they have this, do they have that,

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is everything okay, he didn\'t call me in three days. I
hope they didn\'t get to a fight obviously locked up.

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And then you see these stuff, okay, now I got to worry about
my job, my bills, you know what I\'m going up to see him,

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am I going to able to afford it? Can I pay it? You know what
I mean? Gas is going up and everything is just pilled on

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their stress, your stress. He wrote me a letter saying
that he was very stressed. He had a fight with somebody

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and I\'m just going to go release
some stress to make some peace.

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When he sees me he gains peace
and sometimes no matter

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how much stress you have all you need
is a hug, a hug just seems to cure

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everything about. I\'m doing all
this just to give him a hug,

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I must be crazy, but when you
love somebody that\'s what you do.

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Speak of the devil, that\'s Jason right now.

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I know, I know hello, hi, how are you?

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Come on what\'s the matter?

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What are you stressed about?

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Know what?

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[sil.]

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Yeah, I could like …

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one day I could almost breakdown, like I blacked out and I tried
committing suicide, they got me in seeing a psychiatrist,

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they got me on medication. I was you know
dealing to my you know dealing with myself

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and my kids asking me questions and I
don\'t know what answers to give them,

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you know, they are being so small and it\'s like, I don\'t
know what to say, I tried to answer the best ways I can

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until one day I couldn\'t take it anymore
and I was just like, I blacked down,

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and I snapped and like I just try killing
myself and then I try popping pills,

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I tried jumping out of seven store of building and my guy
living, I tried cutting my wrist, I tried everything,

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it\'s like I realized that is nothing is
working, obviously it\'s not for me to die.

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No one understands your
prison life what you,

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because you\'re the one
that\'s going to do it.

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It took eight years before they
brought them up for his first parole

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and they denied him.

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I thought he was going to make the
third parole and he was denied again

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and I was devastated.

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Each time they denied him, they gave him 24
months before they would bring him up again.

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He said they called him a monster

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and I hold his hand and I told
him you\'re not a monster.

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[sil.]

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Wait a minute he made that blanket.
Yeah, he made this one for me

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and I got another brown and white one without any
issues on it, but he asked us the third one,

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but he took this all the time.
This was when he was in river,

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that\'s just like 1999. Oh,
wow here we go right here,

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oh, she would look like a coco-cola. But
he could draw good. So, I asked him,

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I said, honey, how do you be able
to get this like this? So he said,

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he has take the Windex bottle
and put his paint inside

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and that\'s what he used to spray to get the shirt
like this. He made a beautiful card for me.

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I thought this was the paper for the
parole telling me to read about

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I never thought it was a card and he takes so
much time to do something with this letter

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and he had inside. I have been saying

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how I\'m going to remove about, because I have
such corny wedding, very corny, it\'s worth it,

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but it was corny. So he got down

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on his knees and then I was
like stop, so I was blushing

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and I was trying all red. Then he said, you want be
to do it like this or you want me to get on one knee

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and he got on one knee and my husband said this
sound next year he is going to propose again

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and how we\'re go have wedding,
I was so happy, I was just.

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And my wedding day it
was like so beautiful,

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it was he looked so handsome.
In his greens.

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Yeah, well, he had a soak shirt and his
green and then you know he wanted to tie,

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but no ties allowed. They only marry on
Mondays and they will them that\'s it

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and it\'s only maybe one hour
he tell me forget about it

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because there is only one hour, it\'s two
minutes you they pronounce you men and wife,

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you kiss the bride they gave you maybe
half an hour to visit and then you\'re out.

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The ceremony is about a good five minutes

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like really quick but our, I mean right,

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mine was like. May you get to church and…

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Just kiss the doing the… We have to write a
letter saying why I want to marry my husband.

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They give you opponents of you?
But they gave me opponents.

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But actually you see a psychologist.
Oh, wow. Every decades.

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Yeah, it\'s very, very (inaudible)
it\'s very small prison

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but they have a lot of rules. That they want to make
you go in the right state of mind for Marina and me,

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like, basically Marina and
me, they got a lot of …

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You know they only know them in
the inside not on the outside

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they judge them when they\'re out too.
Right.

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My vision is 2350 and him is a right
eye can\'t see it out of it at all

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and that\'s what brought us
together that kind of connection.

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Both of us we blind out of one
eye, you know, he will tell me

00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.999
when I, you walk on my blind side and I\'ll
walk on the other side, we go up together.

00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.999
[non-English narration]

00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.999
[sil.]

00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:13.000
[non-English narration]

00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.999
That\'s nice,

00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:39.999
that is nice. And my husband
definitely could say he have Quran.

00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:48.000
[music]

00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
Wow, it makes such a nice couple right.
Yeah. How long you have been married.

00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
[music]

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
[non-English narration]

00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
[music]

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
I can remember like yesterday

00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
when a council of asking me, why are you marrying
him? Do you know what type at time he\'s serving?

00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
Do you even care that
he is younger than you?

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
And it was like it didn\'t even sink in my head
or I didn\'t even hear what she was saying,

00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
because we was about get married.

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
I did ask him what he did the nature of
his crime? I didn\'t ask any of that.

00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
[music]

00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
I didn\'t even care about
our age differences.

00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
The truth is

00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
I have been doing this a lot of
time and every time you coordinate,

00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
I feel more comfortable coming up.
No one on our bus

00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
talks about the nature of the crime that, their
husbands or family or friends or loved ones committed.

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
I saw my husband once, I want a t-shirt,

00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
I want you to work out with it, really dirty
instinct, you right, so he works out like

00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
two weeks with this t-shirt and
when he\'s ready to send it to me,

00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
he keep – puts on him… I
don\'t just say to somebody

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
my husband committed murder or my husband
did, they they don\'t talk about that.

00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
Well we get trails next month.
Hopefully it makes it to the spot.

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
You don\'t be nervous. No… no. No?

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
No, I\'m like boring to that actually. Second
one – He\'s going to say… he\'s going say.

00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.999
(inaudible) wait, wait it won\'t be up like…

00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
oh god I\'m so yeah anyway
that\'s what going to happen,

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
no ways the true. We all have that conversation;
we have all had that conversation.

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
Yeah. You know it\'s going to be
like this, because I had one too.

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
No, because mine it\'s always
saying honey you know is going to

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
is going to be quick the first minute

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
when I get home, but then that\'s that it will be
all right… it will all right we are enjoying…

00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
we are enjoying, I said don\'t
worry about it, I enjoy it,

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
you don\'t worry about it. When all the girls
let\'s giving me trail, I was like bang,

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
I would have never get in trail. And
that moments finally came you buy it;

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
you\'ll be so excited about opening an amount
of full. The only thing I\'m afraid of

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
out of this whole trailer thing
is spending two days with him

00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
and then leaving him. You can only
talk with so much on a visit – Yeah.

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
Because you might see tears coming down. Yeah. My
eyes more than his, because you know a man\'s mind,

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
he can\'t let all the inmate see him crying.
But in a trailer

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
he needed to in the middle
of the night spoke and find

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
you know that, that\'s how from still a
worse. Guys we are going to have 10 minutes

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
to get our food and drinks and
please get back on the bus.

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
It\'s already half the 12 o\'clock.

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
Guys remember the rest room is going to
be to the far right of the building,

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
no that\'s probably big you don\'t have to count it for
now. Oh man. The driver is probably going to pull over,

00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
we are going to let you out now guys,
please be careful and you exit the bus.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:48.000
[sil.]

00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
Wait your turn, get up there
and get all your food.

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
[sil.]

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
I receive the call from
a Minister telling me

00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
there must not have been beaten by
correction officers. They may heard of me

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
to see the bruises, the swollen face,
you know, I just can\'t believe it that

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
how something like that could have happened and how
so many officer no one had a heart to stop them,

00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
some beating some like that. No, there\'s so much to
say that\'s enough, but then there is he drag his body

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:34.999
beat him some more, drag his body beat him,
they just continue to he didn\'t had conscious,

00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.999
so it was just a real pain. And
your resignation never found

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
the correction officer therefore,
there is always the inmates.

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
Yeah. Anybody in the men\'s room?

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
Yes. A man? Yeah. All right, he needs
to hurry up. Who\'s in (inaudible)?

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
Yeah. So three here. Okay guys just do
this. There\'s no other man in there?

00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
Is it? Yeah. I was little wild
when I first met him and he –

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
You need to make sure – And he definitely made me a better
woman. He\'s made me – make a lot of change in my life

00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
from the inside. He\'s helped me through a lot
and when you ask me about the moral support

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
quite frankly he supports me too and
helps me get through this also.

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
So, he\'s been a good friend to me.
And I don\'t regret a minute of it,

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
I don\'t not one minute.

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
I was just fine with my dad before.

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
[sil.]

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
He just always fights with me when it comes
to my husband. Until I saw him yesterday

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
and now I\'m seeing tomorrow and tomorrow is
my dad\'s birthday, so he will dismiss of him.

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
[sil.]

00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
When you really love somebody,

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
you can really do anything you want. He couldn\'t have with me
on the phone for two days, something was wrong with my phone

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
and he called my sister this morning and she actually
answers the phone, but they don\'t really like him

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
to call the house. I mean, he\'s a muslim, he\'s
Arab and my sister was in a Jewish community

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
and I\'m not even allowed to say his name in
her backyard, because it\'s an Arabic name

00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
and I don\'t get any support from my
family uh… I don\'t have any friends,

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
because I quite frankly I go to work and I come home
wait for his phone call. So, that\'s my whole life,

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
the phone and work… the phone and work. I\'m so
– I\'ve done almost four years and three months

00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
with him and uh… I\'m doing my time too.

00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
Night. Yeah.

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
Night… night. Umm… BP time. Umm… Okay guys,
thanks for (inaudible) shouting will bring some –

00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
Not even your family understands
when you are living a prison life.

00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
And long just not a lot… lot because we
play on, thank you. She never say no,

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
she always wait, we have
been gathering whatever,

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
no I\'m going to see him; I\'m going to see him stay
with your family. Every time she call him like,

00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
you are going every week, every
week she never missed a day,

00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
so he better love her
or I will kill his ass.

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
You leave there group and

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
uh… make sure it\'s a good pair, because

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
umm… Rome is falling. Okay.
Clinton bus has broke down.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
I know (inaudible) it soon. The (inaudible)
bus is broke down. We ain\'t breaking now,

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
we don\'t… we don\'t.

00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:53.000
[sil.]

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
Very tight budget. All
the money is counted.

00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
Something for me to eat is three dollars.

00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
And then sort of

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
I take some pictures,

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
pictures are two dollars for picture
and I glad I have the picture.

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
[sil.]

00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
This is going to be so, I going to dirty
eyes, when I get up in the morning

00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
my eyes will be clearer and if
I don\'t really rest that much

00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
because I don\'t rest that much on the
bus, so, I\'ll put this on my eyes

00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
I go one at a time, which
is going to be my right eye

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
and then I\'m going to put my left

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
and then I\'m going to take my bed and
I want to cover it all the way down.

00:30:55.000 --> 00:31:03.000
[sil.]

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
Listen man

00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
I\'ve got a low battery,

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
I\'m sitting across three miles
outside of opening on 87.

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
Bus is on the shorter of the road,
somebody send a bus up here ASAP.

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
[sil.]

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
Guys I had shut it, kids don\'t please do not wonder
away from the bus, I don\'t know who\'s out here

00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
and the coordinator didn\'t used it not
coming out there, didn\'t look for anyone.

00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
My grandkids need me and my husband.

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.999
Be prepared, we\'re going
to be here little while.

00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
And you know that\'s going
to more the kids of nine,

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
this so … there at time you know, you got
more enough, so hopefully all of them goes.

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
We go back itself,

00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
so we go back to full of right, it\'s amazing. I
told my husband, you know, when I used to go bare,

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
he used to the battle for position for the seat, battle for position
when you got to the visiting room, then you don\'t want to get

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
the first early number because you get thrown off the visit book.
So, you let all the people who have never been there before

00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
going in front you and I
said so, it\'s a whole gain,

00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
this is not just keeping you just get on this
like luxury bus and you just go. You don\'t –

00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
All go like to say be here – They have no
idea what we go through, they really don\'t.

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
It takes another three hours

00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
to get there. Yes. Not going on
three hours visit a nine hour ride.

00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
Bus is coming for three hours. Yeah, by the time the bus
gets to the facility that is supposed to go to and because –

00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
So listen some people is so thirsty for a visit, they
don\'t even care, so they got to make that decision.

00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
But I have a baby here – You wait everybody
don\'t be mad on this bus, she\'s going to stop.

00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
And the bus comes right now, and it\'s
only 12 seats on, the people with kids

00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
are going to go first, the elderly people
in day to night and I will still sit here,

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
I\'ve done it for years.

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
What times they get flight
now, probably on six? Yeah.

00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
So, you figure 6, 6:30 three
hours 9:30 check in time

00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
we got 11, 12 one, two – 11, 12 one, two, three
five hours we could still get five hours.

00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
[sil.]

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
One girl was saying I want
to go back home. Yeah.

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
Not have to try this. We still
have to be true friends

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
always true first. This
is our life for while.

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
One time at the ride,

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
belive it or not, they said
I had drugs on my hands,

00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
because the money; send me two years old
you know. But when you touch money,

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
they\'re saying 90% of the dollar
bills are any money you touch

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
has drugs on it, so if you\'re touching money,
then they give you a hard time to get in.

00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
Oh that\'s what the bus driver said, he said,
you know next time always give wipes for you

00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.999
and wipe your hands. It\'s crazy. And then they made
us visit, you know, with one of those tuberclosis.

00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.999
You had to visit behind the glass?
Yeah, yeah. Joe(ph) laughed,

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
it\'s my mother. (inaudible). Yeah.

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
[music]

00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
Am I ever going to able to hold his hand

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
and walk down the street or I take ice cream
and wishing his hands face on the outside

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
or just go to the park.

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
I\'m just waiting for this to
be my year to say finally.

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:33.000
[sil.]

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:58.000
[music]

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
I just (inaudible) 2000, 2001

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
through your main. Right after
this stop it will be Ray Brooke

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
and they can\'t gave me out.

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
You wants (inaudible) 2002? Yes I am.

00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
Okay, just make it sure, so you guys
don\'t get up at the wrong stop.

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:13.000
[music]

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:43.000
[sil.]

00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:08.000
[music]

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
Guys we can\'t go in here like
a Stem Peter elephants(ph)

00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
because remember there\'s people in here having their
breakfast and they might want a quiet breakfast,

00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
so we step to us, because they
could tell us, we can\'t go in.

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
[music]

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
[sil.]

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
I\'ve seen restaurant owners lock the doors,

00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
I mean when they saw the buses unloading.

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
We\'re going to brush our teeth there. We can get
a couple of water from out there, they tell us,

00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
no I mean that\'s they … that\'s their shop, they
don\'t have to let us stop there. And for the once

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
they don\'t come every week and you come once a month there
is people that come every week that needs to stop there.

00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
So, let\'s think about this guys.
I\'m saying we can\'t stop there,

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
there\'s other ways that we could do things.
I\'m quite sure you went plenty of places,

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
without brushing your teeth. Now let\'s be real
with our own stuff and not be a funny, I\'m –

00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
First thing I have – I got dressed
on this bus plenty of times

00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
and I ain\'t have problem with
my husband, hello, hello

00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
call it what you see. Call it
what you see, let\'s be real.

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:43.000
[music]

00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
The visitors don\'t mix here, those
people are coming different world,

00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
they\'re not all clean and they\'re careless.

00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
The restroom is tied out for
locals can\'t even use it.

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
[music]

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
It\'s pretty nasty.

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
I\'m going to change, so I could
get ready to go see my dad

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
and had to run back.

00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
Umm… I can name more of them,
but I know some of them,

00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:38.000
(inaudible),

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
since I was born. How old are you? 11.

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
[sil.]

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
I see like mess over there.
I get them time.

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
Let\'s talk to the (inaudible) I want to go.

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
[sil.]

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
Every time what happen is what comes back, it
was 6\'o clock in the morning when I drop off.

00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
And then one guard came in and
told me, you don\'t come here

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
soon in the morning and drop off your trash
in front of my door. Like that I said,

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
you\'re actually calling human beings trash?
He said that to you?

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
Yeah, that\'s what he said.

00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
Okay guys, this is at our (inaudible) guys
please be careful as you exit the bus.

00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
Enjoy your visit guys. Thank you.

00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
[sil.]

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
Most of this down they don\'t really
– I don\'t think I like them.

00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
They are not too well liked up here, you know,
some of them live up here, they move up here

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
because they were living there for a long time here, too much I
can afford it. They would have been in drugs and other stuff,

00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
we got to really check them. They
come in the visitors staff like that

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
is like another enemy coming in. Yeah.

00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:23.000
[sil.]

00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
It feels like you are
going on a date, right.

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:48.000
[sil.]

00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:54.999
We have kids when they little,

00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
they little problems when they big, they big
problems – I\'m telling you. It never ends,

00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:04.999
it never ends, they don\'t care
what nobody saying. Here you go.

00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:09.999
How long you\'ve been coming? For 29 years.

00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:18.000
[sil.]

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.999
I have – must have room ready for them,

00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.999
I don\'t know we being out, room is ready, have you
got that let me live to see their there, right.

00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:39.999
One day at a time, one day at a time.

00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:44.999
It only over night, it\'s still the
journey even when you\'re out.

00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.999
I\'ll get right here soon.

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:58.000
[sil.]

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:33.000
[music]

00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:08.000
[sil.]

00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.999
Yeah, I mean, I like to keep that one.
All right. Thank you.

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:33.000
[sil.]

00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:43.000
[music]

00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.999
My husband was very sad because one
his friends they just went home.

00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.999
He just went home on October, and now
he\'s back and I, given him twelve years

00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.999
and he just did about thirteen
or fourteen years. Good visit?

00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.999
[music]

00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.999
My stomach was just in nuts,
and I couldn\'t talk for about

00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.999
five, ten fifteen minutes.
My husband is so afraid

00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:29.999
to stuff like that, because nine
of his friends already went there.

00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:34.999
Nine.

00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.999
I didn\'t take no visit,
because I was crying.

00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.999
For what now. My phone was off this
week and we know about those prices

00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:49.999
from MCI very high and I
wasn\'t able to pay it,

00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.999
by credit because I have mail in a payment and that
takes like two weeks to get your phone back on,

00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:59.999
and I\'m just so used to speak into him

00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.999
and making sure that he is okay, and he
is also used to making sure that I\'m okay

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.999
that this week is just like I die.
I didn\'t have anybody to talk to.

00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.999
I don\'t have any friends to talk to about what
I\'m going to do with him until I come to the bus

00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:19.999
and see all the other girls that I live in
the prison life. Not even my own sister

00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:24.999
wants to understand what I\'m going to do.
This one says,

00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.999
what a beautiful days spend with my
beautiful wife, you are my heart

00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:34.999
I love you much, he always writes that at the
end of each letter. You know, I love you right,

00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:39.999
you know you my heart. Did you see
him Tracy? I was seeing this thing.

00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.999
[music]

00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.999
Oh my god,

00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.999
they are coming home,
yes but it\'s not today

00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:59.999
that want today, today…

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:08.000
[music]

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.999
Drop your weapon,

00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.999
put your gun down, gun.

00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:29.999
Put the gun down now.

00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.999
I never met my brother before till today.
I agree. Oh that\'s a best thing,

00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:39.999
I\'m forty four and so… And I\'m fifty.
Yeah, so the long time

00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:44.999
to got to know somebody, since the early
80s, I have been searching for him

00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.999
to discover this year
that he is still alive,

00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:54.999
so it was important and it was to
come and see. It\'s going to help him.

00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:59.999
(inaudible) come to visit him.
Well, I live in Austin, Texas. So…

00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.999
Wow! Yeah I came a very long way today,

00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.999
but it was well worth a trip. Our
brother was given a life sentence

00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:14.999
for not a crime of murder

00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.999
or great for anything, because
he was a persistent fellow.

00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.999
The, correction system is I will say as now

00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.999
really restorted to
people, it can hinderous.

00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:38.000
[music]

00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:49.999
Everyone is inside to a mistake, you
shouldn\'t be playing for that mistake

00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.999
for the rest of your life. For a type of my
husband, he got locked up at sixteen years old

00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:59.999
a little baby, didn\'t even finish graduate and high
school. Yeah, he goes and he goes this little school

00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.999
and gets his GED programs and this and that,
but kind of job do they expect to get home.

00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.999
They just kick him out on the street and you are going from
being a child to a grown man and they throw you on the street

00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:14.999
and except you, oh just start life and to be
great. When Jason came him from his first bed,

00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:19.999
he went to go find jobs because he\'s
like I\'m, I don\'t want to see this more

00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:24.999
I don\'t want to sell drugs anymore. I brought
him to go find job that took off from work.

00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.999
He went to a couple of jobs, they didn\'t want
to hire him. Then finally he went to this job

00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:34.999
and the guy goes in interviews him and he is like,
he really excited he wants give Jason a job,

00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:39.999
working for this company and then the guys goes, he know
shaking his hand all right he goes, you know, listen,

00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:44.999
well, you know, I\'m going to talk to my supervisors, we\'ve
got everything setup and he goes. And he just looks in

00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:49.999
for a second goes, you were never convicted for a
family right, just asks another block, and Jason says,

00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:54.999
yeah, I was, because I\'m…you know I was convicted
and the guy goes because we can\'t hire you.

00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.999
And it\'s not fair. Who
right now, right now,

00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.999
my husband supposed to go
to the boy, next month

00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:09.999
and they are asking him, for a job letter,
how is he going to get a job letter?

00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:14.999
How is he supposed to get a
job when he is not out there.

00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:23.000
[music]

00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:33.000
[sil.]

00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:59.999
My grand\'s and just say, grandma, grandma,

00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:04.999
I\'m not doing probably about 8
days, grandma, eight more days,

00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:09.999
you and grandpa can be on my birthday, I
said, when is your birthday? July 10th.

00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:14.999
I said you know, we\'re going to be there.
He said, he\'s going to hug everybody

00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:19.999
when he comes out when he
is going to hug me blanks.

00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:24.999
He said he wants to come here to see
my room, and see where I slept.

00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:29.999
And I really want him to see this room,
because so many days I was closing myself up

00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:34.999
in this room just to feel presence of him

00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:39.999
and to try to stay here and let the days
go by, so Friday could get here real quick

00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:44.999
so I could go up and see him again
on Saturday. There is so much,

00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:49.999
so much in here from 9/1904

00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:54.999
is part of his diary.

00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:59.999
Going by some of the things that\'s in this
book, if he didn\'t have me, he said them,

00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:04.999
he was lost a long time ago, he
would and nobody would like to have

00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:09.999
the freedom to do and as he please

00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:14.999
or know what tomorrow would bring.

00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:19.999
[music]

00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:24.999
A long twenty five is still
got wild reasons and fast,

00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:29.999
which would help man, that could be
something that you always wanted.

00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:34.999
I know I can.

00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:39.999
I\'ve been here, the worse place of
the world, it\'s still I\'ll smile

00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:44.999
because of you, but one
thing I wanted to do

00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:49.999
is make you happy. I know
you will, I\'m ready,

00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:54.999
I\'m so ready for you to come home,
and this has been a journey…

00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:59.999
this has been a journey.

00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:04.999
And now I will attempt to pack, what
I\'m taking up for him to come home.

00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:09.999
I always loved it North Carolina, South
Carolina, my kids are down there,

00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:14.999
my grandkids are down there, on my husband side,
he has shared with me numerous times about

00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.999
he want to go somewhere we\'re safe. Going to
treatment and going to different program,

00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:24.999
I have learned that all people placed the things
is the relapse and it can cause you to fall back,

00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:29.999
we\'re not trying to
repeat what we just did.

00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:34.999
I love you, miss you man. Yeah.

00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:43.000
[sil.]

00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.999
During the visit time a lot
officers said to me that,

00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:09.999
he was going to make the fore pro because
did everything he was supposed to do.

00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.999
And once again they denied
him even the fore pro.

00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:23.000
[music]

00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:34.999
I was devastated,

00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:39.999
I couldn\'t hardly talk
on a phone, I just cried

00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:44.999
and they still used the part
that he was danger to society

00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:49.999
and that he was not ready to be a
productive citizen in the society.

00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:58.000
[music]

00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:29.999
I just took it one day
at a time and I prayed,

00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:34.999
and the pain got easier and easier.

00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:39.999
[music]

00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:44.999
I feel like heaven.

00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:49.999
[music]

00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:54.999
The strong love that I have my husband

00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:59.999
and believe in my relationship and that it\'s going to be
okay just another day is gone, it\'s going to be okay.

00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.999
[music]

00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:09.999
It allows me to have the extra push

00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:14.999
on continuing to do what\'s right.

00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:23.000
[music]

00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:29.999
I only have like five
more months on this bus,

00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:34.999
I probably do a part where just for you,

00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:39.999
just for you, for you guys, and I\'m
going to shake up some self somewhat

00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:44.999
and squat it all over you, like I
made to touch down at the super bowl.

00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:49.999
February. When?

00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:54.999
February 6. What\'s that? Our
conditional release date.

00:57:55.000 --> 00:57:59.999
Oh, you are good.

00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:04.999
It\'s exciting, but it\'s also like sad,

00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:09.999
because so long you just through
them about minutes to make it there,

00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:14.999
do you understand what I\'m saying.

00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:19.999
That\'s why you have to just say, Jesus

00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:24.999
let me touch you and see if you

00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:29.999
are in … Even though we have
a conditional release date,

00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:34.999
they could still tell us no.

00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:39.999
We wanted to be parole out of state to North
Carolina, to my husband sister\'s house.

00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:44.999
Just have

00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:49.999
a normal peaceful happy life a normal life.

00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:54.999
Thank you god.

00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:59.999
[sil.]

00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:04.999
[music]

00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:09.999
Oh, my god this is husband, Rachel

00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:14.999
come and get the babby, hello?
Hello, no its going to cut off,

00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:19.999
I got to go outside, oh
they transferred him.

00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:24.999
Oh, my god. Get out of here.

00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:29.999
Rachel, I think this (inaudible)
cut off I would die.

00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:34.999
For real? Ah… say it again,

00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:39.999
for real? How cute,

00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:44.999
oh no ah… I love you,

00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:49.999
oh my god, you only know Hakim,

00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:54.999
ah… are you happy? I am beyond happy.

00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:59.999
Oh, I want to hold you.

01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.999
Well, so, I don\'t got to take
the worse, can you believe,

01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:09.999
I don\'t got to pack a
bag, Thursday or Friday,

01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:14.999
stuff the bag and sit on it to zip it up

01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:19.999
and know that I got to get on that
bus and ride five and half hours.

01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:24.999
My body started looking like clan.

01:00:25.000 --> 01:00:33.000
[music]

01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.999
And all I could do is look up at the sky

01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:19.999
and say I got the victory.

01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:28.000
[music]

01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:44.999
Well, I got to take a nap now.

01:01:45.000 --> 01:01:49.999
I have to take a nap because
I\'m doing a double,

01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:54.999
I\'m going back to see my husband,
I need some more hugs and kisses,

01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:59.999
only hugs and kisses just hugs and kisses,

01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:04.999
that\'s rattle a bit, I
didn\'t say it Mr. Mario,

01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:10.000
drive the bus focus on the highway.

01:04:15.000 --> 01:04:23.000
[sil.]