00:00:11.300 --> 00:00:12.300
here

00:00:41.100 --> 00:00:44.700
I think what makes the woman beautiful is as though

00:00:44.700 --> 00:00:46.500
in my heart as far as the interview.

00:00:47.500 --> 00:00:49.500
first out of beauty, you know hair

00:00:50.700 --> 00:00:54.000
lashes silhouette nobody

00:01:05.700 --> 00:01:09.200
doing here always play

00:01:08.200 --> 00:01:10.300
with my little cousin baby doll.

00:01:11.200 --> 00:01:14.100
Started out just doing breeds and you know lifts up

00:01:14.100 --> 00:01:17.300
and stuff like flowers and stuff and I was like eight grade, you

00:01:17.300 --> 00:01:21.100
know, I started making money. We were always trying to find so it

00:01:20.100 --> 00:01:23.800
just provided a living for me, you know all the

00:01:23.800 --> 00:01:26.100
way from like eight grade up into now.

00:01:35.500 --> 00:01:38.200
All right. I already know. All right.

00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:43.700
Thanks again.

00:01:57.500 --> 00:01:58.100
here

00:02:51.900 --> 00:02:52.700
Oh my God.

00:02:54.600 --> 00:02:55.800
I had a migraine.

00:02:56.700 --> 00:02:57.700
From this yeah.

00:02:58.700 --> 00:02:59.700
You're still fight.

00:03:01.400 --> 00:03:04.200
By a few I have a

00:03:04.200 --> 00:03:08.100
man lining like you still have like like you see

00:03:07.100 --> 00:03:10.400
my head feels like I used to get my line in before

00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:13.200
my transition. I thought about getting the hair transplant around.

00:03:14.300 --> 00:03:17.200
If anything I would cut it back ground making

00:03:17.200 --> 00:03:18.800
like even worse. You know, what?

00:03:19.800 --> 00:03:22.400
Really crazy, there's still no

00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:22.500
way.

00:03:25.700 --> 00:03:28.200
Moving it switches on like this.

00:03:43.200 --> 00:03:47.300
So listen, this is what I found. It

00:03:46.300 --> 00:03:49.000
was already a salon at one point.

00:03:49.800 --> 00:03:51.100
I don't like the square footage.

00:03:51.700 --> 00:03:54.300
It looked big is it I don't know if it's upstairs

00:03:54.300 --> 00:03:55.000
and downstairs.

00:03:55.200 --> 00:03:58.300
So you have to be there for 4:30 birthday. You cannot be late.

00:03:59.900 --> 00:04:02.800
You heard me what I say what I

00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:02.900
say.

00:04:03.500 --> 00:04:06.200
I don't know look.

00:04:06.900 --> 00:04:10.000
3500 dollars a month for 1600

00:04:09.200 --> 00:04:12.300
square feet. Look, where's Ethel this is

00:04:12.300 --> 00:04:13.700
guarantee customers.

00:04:17.400 --> 00:04:20.200
Would have been like Ripper would have the whole building. Yeah.

00:04:25.900 --> 00:04:28.000
So tell me talk.

00:04:29.100 --> 00:04:29.500
I mean

00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:33.600
the place is nice not exactly

00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:37.000
for what I'm going for with whatever

00:04:36.600 --> 00:04:39.400
first and foremost. They won't accommodate the

00:04:39.400 --> 00:04:43.000
staff as far as the waiting area stations and

00:04:42.500 --> 00:04:45.000
shampoo and dry area. So

00:04:45.800 --> 00:04:46.000
as far as the

00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:51.900
space but

00:04:53.700 --> 00:04:56.000
the places section of so you can do

00:04:57.200 --> 00:04:57.200
um

00:04:59.500 --> 00:05:01.200
master suites that work

00:05:02.700 --> 00:05:06.100
Master Three to run 250 a week right stylist

00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:08.400
are comfortable with the Audi have their own places. Okay.

00:05:10.700 --> 00:05:11.500
It can be.

00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:15.200
Long as it's not too bad. I'm whatever is that?

00:05:15.200 --> 00:05:18.200
I'm gonna make it luxury, but I don't want it of course

00:05:18.200 --> 00:05:19.400
whereas

00:05:20.500 --> 00:05:23.700
drug addicts and right car burglaries

00:05:23.700 --> 00:05:25.700
and right potential

00:05:26.700 --> 00:05:29.300
Salon, robbery and all that kind of breaking is yeah.

00:05:30.300 --> 00:05:33.800
Well again, the city has changed. So if I

00:05:33.800 --> 00:05:35.600
do find like a big space in

00:05:36.500 --> 00:05:38.300
And not so good neighborhood.

00:05:39.100 --> 00:05:42.800
For a good price. I wouldn't mind taking a portion and investing in

00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:43.400
so detail.

00:05:44.000 --> 00:05:44.300
Okay.

00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:51.600
I've had three salons.

00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:55.300
And I did well with the businesses that didn't do

00:05:55.300 --> 00:05:55.600
well.

00:05:56.400 --> 00:05:59.400
Someone's in the Barbie beauty industry are

00:05:59.400 --> 00:06:02.400
revolving doors a lot of times and Barbers.

00:06:02.400 --> 00:06:05.900
They don't really take the chair rental extremely serious

00:06:05.900 --> 00:06:09.100
versus the other bills. So I

00:06:08.100 --> 00:06:12.100
wanted to create a chairman surprise that

00:06:11.100 --> 00:06:14.300
they can afford whether you know, they have like

00:06:14.300 --> 00:06:18.000
a hardship at home or it's something that not outrageous

00:06:17.300 --> 00:06:20.600
or something that's reachable. So if

00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:22.400
I can create a high end

00:06:23.200 --> 00:06:26.100
Luxury environment at a cheap rate, you know,

00:06:26.100 --> 00:06:30.600
I always keep stylists our Barbers estheticians makeup

00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:32.300
artist there in the

00:06:32.300 --> 00:06:35.500
salon because there's nowhere that they can go that's really really nice and and

00:06:35.500 --> 00:06:36.300
affordable rate.

00:06:47.300 --> 00:06:50.500
We're going the first time travel. Yes, but you're

00:06:50.500 --> 00:06:56.100
not going to church for 7:30. No, you gotta go to 10:30 because

00:06:53.100 --> 00:06:56.500
that's

00:06:56.500 --> 00:06:57.700
why would be a ten o'clock service.

00:06:58.400 --> 00:07:01.200
And you started the second

00:07:01.200 --> 00:07:04.400
one o'clock. Yeah. Oh, please I have things

00:07:04.400 --> 00:07:07.500
to do like cook go home. Get an hour of

00:07:07.500 --> 00:07:11.800
sleep. Whatever the second

00:07:11.800 --> 00:07:12.800
I thought I want to cry.

00:07:13.800 --> 00:07:16.700
You know that thing it's too

00:07:16.700 --> 00:07:20.400
many other people. I am

00:07:20.400 --> 00:07:25.400
I'm young 60 days

00:07:25.400 --> 00:07:26.600
shoot.

00:07:27.600 --> 00:07:30.400
I have been doing hair here almost probably a

00:07:30.400 --> 00:07:31.300
couple days would be like a year.

00:07:32.500 --> 00:07:35.800
I love here. Actually, I will actually um, whenever I

00:07:35.800 --> 00:07:37.500
reopen I was here. I hate to leave.

00:07:38.900 --> 00:07:41.700
you're welcome, like

00:07:43.100 --> 00:07:44.000
I get to do what I want.

00:07:46.200 --> 00:07:51.300
That's the true family but

00:07:49.300 --> 00:07:52.400
in a good way, you

00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:52.400
know.

00:07:57.100 --> 00:07:58.100
you

00:08:01.800 --> 00:08:02.200
you

00:08:04.500 --> 00:08:05.100
Thank you.

00:08:11.400 --> 00:08:15.300
So yeah, I had a good time this night. Okay so good.

00:08:15.300 --> 00:08:18.400
Oh my God, you serious? Mmm.

00:08:19.400 --> 00:08:22.600
What's the new plans and stuff? You know, what a

00:08:22.600 --> 00:08:25.200
new place like what's division the ultimate goal? Okay, so,

00:08:25.200 --> 00:08:28.300
you know how everything is a I have everything separate like

00:08:28.300 --> 00:08:31.700
where I can't make a rock candy instead of yeah. Yeah. I'm just

00:08:31.700 --> 00:08:34.000
gonna call it the candy shop, you know,

00:08:34.200 --> 00:08:37.200
like going into a candy shop you going again this happens? Oh bunch of

00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:40.300
stuff in there. Oh, yeah, so it's

00:08:40.300 --> 00:08:41.800
just gonna be the candy shop, you know.

00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:46.700
Yeah, that's how I'm rolling. Okay, you

00:08:46.700 --> 00:08:49.800
know be you really should come out this way because it's upcoming.

00:08:49.800 --> 00:08:52.200
I know people think the East is that I

00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:56.000
but you know, they're about to open up big old

00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:58.800
adult gaming center. We that is coming out here, you

00:08:58.800 --> 00:09:01.700
know this little strip about to be happy. I'm considering because

00:09:01.700 --> 00:09:04.300
it's closer to my house, but I really wanted to

00:09:04.300 --> 00:09:04.400
be like

00:09:05.200 --> 00:09:05.500
more

00:09:15.100 --> 00:09:16.700
I don't go to church without my makeup.

00:09:18.100 --> 00:09:21.500
I'm sorry. I love the Lord. I'm not

00:09:21.500 --> 00:09:24.500
going to church at I make up

00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:27.400
and I could even stay that long and I had put

00:09:27.400 --> 00:09:28.000
some shades on.

00:09:49.700 --> 00:09:52.100
Television shows and award shows begin to tell

00:09:52.100 --> 00:09:54.400
you who left us this year.

00:09:57.500 --> 00:10:00.300
Whether you were 43 year old successful lawyer or

00:10:00.300 --> 00:10:03.800
21 year old successful businessman or any

00:10:03.800 --> 00:10:06.800
sexual brand of a million people that started

00:10:06.800 --> 00:10:08.100
off of us last January.

00:10:11.700 --> 00:10:12.100
didn't think

00:10:12.600 --> 00:10:16.400
so glad

00:10:23.900 --> 00:10:29.700
This short they feel

00:10:29.700 --> 00:10:31.900
the communion completely no surgery right now.

00:10:33.400 --> 00:10:35.200
two minutes

00:10:46.700 --> 00:10:48.900
That I made another mistakes. I should have been.

00:10:50.400 --> 00:10:50.400
dead

00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:11.200
We are in Carrollton area also known

00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:13.500
as Princeton town. We are at a

00:11:13.500 --> 00:11:16.300
old house that I grew up at. This was actually

00:11:16.300 --> 00:11:19.500
the last house that we actually lived in before we

00:11:19.500 --> 00:11:20.500
moved out of the neighborhood.

00:11:24.600 --> 00:11:27.700
It was dangerous, you know a lot of crime. I

00:11:27.700 --> 00:11:30.700
had two cousin actually was killed on this street on Monday. We

00:11:30.700 --> 00:11:33.400
found in the alley right over there was shot

00:11:33.400 --> 00:11:36.200
up on the corner. But like I said everybody pretty much knew everybody.

00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:40.200
So it was kind of pretty cool. I mean it wasn't like the best neighborhood

00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:40.500
but

00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:44.600
Pretty much everybody who lived around here was born and raised. It's a

00:11:44.600 --> 00:11:47.200
lot different. Now. This is pretty much all I knew as a

00:11:47.200 --> 00:11:50.100
child corner stores, we'll be

00:11:50.100 --> 00:11:52.100
able to go to stores and get tabs credit.

00:11:52.900 --> 00:11:55.200
Everybody was related everybody. You can go

00:11:55.200 --> 00:11:58.300
around the corner by your cousin like your grandmother.

00:11:58.300 --> 00:12:01.500
It'll always be special to me. This is actually you know

00:12:01.500 --> 00:12:04.700
with me, you know what I live in a pretty safe neighborhood. But you

00:12:04.700 --> 00:12:08.000
know, it's still that, you know, like I don't even know any of my neighbors. I've

00:12:07.800 --> 00:12:10.400
been in my house over here before I ever

00:12:10.400 --> 00:12:11.000
even got to

00:12:11.800 --> 00:12:13.800
Physically feed my makes their neighbor.

00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:26.000
Many there's a lot for me, you know it pretty much provides, you

00:12:25.500 --> 00:12:28.900
know, everything I need and half of

00:12:28.900 --> 00:12:31.700
what I want and it just

00:12:31.700 --> 00:12:32.800
creates a different life.

00:12:33.500 --> 00:12:35.300
From what I was brought up on.

00:12:42.800 --> 00:12:45.200
Down here in New Orleans, you know what time get rich

00:12:45.200 --> 00:12:48.100
or die trying whether if you're selling for corn candy for two

00:12:48.100 --> 00:12:51.600
dollars a jello shots for a dollar at the second line. It's just

00:12:51.600 --> 00:12:54.200
always listening money, you know, and if you can't make here you can't make

00:12:54.200 --> 00:12:56.200
it nowhere cuz this is definitely our city.

00:13:00.400 --> 00:13:03.500
Health officials say the coronavirus is spreading faster

00:13:03.500 --> 00:13:06.500
in New Orleans than in other cities. There's now

00:13:06.500 --> 00:13:10.100
14,867 cases reported

00:13:09.100 --> 00:13:13.600
in 62 parishes the state 512

00:13:12.600 --> 00:13:16.400
people have died 1,89 or

00:13:16.400 --> 00:13:19.000
in the hospital and 563 of them

00:13:19.300 --> 00:13:22.600
are on ventilators. Globally. We're nearing almost 1.3 million

00:13:22.600 --> 00:13:25.400
cases and have surpass 70,000 deaths

00:13:25.400 --> 00:13:27.100
in the United States alone.

00:13:31.500 --> 00:13:34.900
That time to leave at the beginning of covid-19. I sat

00:13:34.900 --> 00:13:35.600
on it for a while.

00:13:36.500 --> 00:13:39.100
Just to see this exactly, you know

00:13:39.100 --> 00:13:42.500
the space that I wanted an area that I wanted and I think

00:13:42.500 --> 00:13:44.000
it's it's a really good good.

00:13:45.500 --> 00:13:48.400
I mean it's a lot of money to put out on the front end, but I think it's gonna

00:13:48.400 --> 00:13:50.900
be very rewarding once it gets up and running.

00:13:53.700 --> 00:13:56.600
I am definitely nervous because business is extremely

00:13:56.600 --> 00:13:59.300
slow after quarantine due to covid-19.

00:13:59.900 --> 00:14:02.400
But I have faith that everything will work

00:14:02.400 --> 00:14:06.100
out. I have like about eight dollars that's confirmed. But hopefully

00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:08.300
the coronavirus is going by time.

00:14:08.300 --> 00:14:12.000
We open up and we'll just ensured that everybody wear masks

00:14:11.100 --> 00:14:14.300
and just keep everything clean and distance like

00:14:14.300 --> 00:14:18.400
that, you know daily. We're good hygiene and proper

00:14:17.400 --> 00:14:19.500
protocol I think will be fine.

00:14:22.200 --> 00:14:25.200
Devil was like a girlfriend and a family based like my iron with one

00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:29.300
of my mom's best friend. And he passed away due to coronavirus. It's

00:14:28.300 --> 00:14:31.300
wondering anything that I'm kind of iffy about. We're

00:14:31.300 --> 00:14:34.600
opening Salon because it's gonna be so weird. We're opening Salon without

00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:37.200
their boo. We couldn't have a funeral. We just had a

00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:40.500
view in or like a really big repass and stuff. So soon as

00:14:40.500 --> 00:14:43.300
the city is open fully, you know, I'll give him

00:14:43.300 --> 00:14:46.200
his own. You know that guy. I feel like

00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:52.100
you

00:14:58.800 --> 00:14:59.400
here

00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:26.300
here

00:15:48.100 --> 00:15:54.700
here

00:15:59.900 --> 00:16:06.100
you are

00:16:27.100 --> 00:16:34.000
you are

00:16:57.900 --> 00:17:02.300
it

00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:46.000
you

00:18:16.100 --> 00:18:16.800
here

00:18:36.700 --> 00:18:39.300
There's like two or three days ago. I was going grocery shopping

00:18:39.300 --> 00:18:42.600
with my dad and I was so

00:18:42.600 --> 00:18:45.600
fixated on like wearing my mask and

00:18:45.600 --> 00:18:48.300
trying to distance myself from other people, you know, get everything

00:18:48.300 --> 00:18:51.800
on the list and then I see this attractive

00:18:51.800 --> 00:18:54.300
man who works there like look

00:18:54.300 --> 00:18:56.400
me up and down and I was like, oh like I'm

00:18:56.700 --> 00:18:57.600
of my stuff

00:18:59.300 --> 00:19:02.600
So we're looking for these artichoke hearts and we can't find them and so

00:19:02.600 --> 00:19:05.200
my dad pulls him aside and

00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:08.900
is just like hey, like do you know where we can find artichoke cards?

00:19:08.900 --> 00:19:11.200
He wanted to make some part. I mean she wanted to

00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:14.800
he want and he tripped up on my pronouns to this

00:19:14.800 --> 00:19:17.100
too for attractive dude, that just checked me

00:19:17.100 --> 00:19:20.600
out and I and my heart stunk because

00:19:20.600 --> 00:19:23.700
I went from this really euphoric High to this

00:19:23.700 --> 00:19:25.900
really dysphora glow immediately.

00:19:27.500 --> 00:19:30.800
I ended up seeing him later on our way out and

00:19:30.800 --> 00:19:33.200
you know, he Winks at me. So like he didn't

00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:34.300
think anything of it.

00:19:35.700 --> 00:19:38.900
There's so many different factors, especially when

00:19:38.900 --> 00:19:41.500
we're talking about trans people in spaces.

00:19:46.700 --> 00:19:50.400
I'm standing at the juncture of session 558

00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:51.700
and 575.

00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:57.400
An executive order by President Grant in 1873 restricted

00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:59.000
the land of the Southern Paiute.

00:19:59.700 --> 00:20:03.000
That coupled with missionary and colonizing efforts

00:20:02.700 --> 00:20:05.200
of literated their ancestral land.

00:20:08.100 --> 00:20:11.600
Since starting this journey, I can't help

00:20:11.600 --> 00:20:15.000
but yarn for the Unseen and often violently raised

00:20:14.700 --> 00:20:17.400
histories inherent within the places I

00:20:17.400 --> 00:20:17.800
find myself.

00:20:19.300 --> 00:20:21.800
They're here written in the land.

00:20:25.800 --> 00:20:28.100
What is written on my body?

00:20:29.800 --> 00:20:31.000
depending on your belief

00:20:33.300 --> 00:20:35.200
apologies my essence

00:20:35.900 --> 00:20:38.400
my aura is housed within this body.

00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:43.100
I see my body another see my

00:20:43.100 --> 00:20:43.200
body.

00:20:44.100 --> 00:20:46.200
And I see it only as I can.

00:20:47.600 --> 00:20:49.700
It's a feminine body.

00:20:50.900 --> 00:20:53.000
It's shorter than most others. I see.

00:20:55.600 --> 00:20:56.300
Where is my body?

00:21:04.800 --> 00:21:07.700
I create a list of places places. I've

00:21:07.700 --> 00:21:11.300
been places. I felt inside places others

00:21:10.300 --> 00:21:13.600
have told me about I catalog in

00:21:13.600 --> 00:21:16.000
order to understand two pars out

00:21:16.200 --> 00:21:17.800
the solutions to all my questioning.

00:21:18.800 --> 00:21:21.400
Connecting artery through it. All is the

00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:23.900
feeling of dysphoria inherent Within.

00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:26.000
in the shower

00:21:27.100 --> 00:21:31.100
in front of the mirror and my friends bathroom my bed

00:21:30.100 --> 00:21:33.200
every night growing up. I

00:21:33.200 --> 00:21:35.800
would feel horrible about my body and living as a boy.

00:21:36.700 --> 00:21:39.500
I would imagine that somehow I would be transformed into

00:21:39.500 --> 00:21:40.900
a girl while I slept.

00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:45.200
Invented with a body that works but does not work for me.

00:21:46.700 --> 00:21:49.700
It jumps leans runs rocks picks up

00:21:49.700 --> 00:21:52.200
groceries and processes food who I am

00:21:52.200 --> 00:21:55.200
is not found here. And I hate the moment. I peel

00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:58.100
off my clothes to wash this body. I so desperately wish

00:21:59.900 --> 00:22:02.600
I experienced dysphoria in most gendered

00:22:02.600 --> 00:22:05.800
spaces except the men's section of clothing stores.

00:22:06.700 --> 00:22:08.700
At the midday show at the Renaissance fair.

00:22:09.400 --> 00:22:12.500
The Usher invited ladies in the crowd to take the last seat in

00:22:12.500 --> 00:22:15.100
the auditorium and my friend called me and pointed at me.

00:22:16.500 --> 00:22:19.600
The Usher invited me to sit called me Miss and little lady.

00:22:19.600 --> 00:22:21.600
I wanted to run far away.

00:22:22.600 --> 00:22:25.500
I was playing a character for murder mystery game the

00:22:25.500 --> 00:22:28.200
first moment of staring at myself in the mirror with the

00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:31.600
full makeup and hair. I looked amazing. I wondered

00:22:31.600 --> 00:22:34.400
if I looked this much like a lady. Maybe I

00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:37.200
should give up ever trying to convince anyone. I'm not a girl.

00:22:38.100 --> 00:22:41.300
I might feel euphoric when trying things on as long

00:22:41.300 --> 00:22:44.900
as there aren't too many people around to make me nervous the women

00:22:44.900 --> 00:22:46.100
section of clothing stores.

00:22:47.100 --> 00:22:50.300
Any professional interaction where someone calls me sir, or

00:22:50.300 --> 00:22:50.900
he?

00:22:51.400 --> 00:22:54.200
Anytime I speak on the phone or hear recording of my

00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:54.400
voice.

00:22:55.400 --> 00:22:58.400
It's gotten better. But without any visual cues. I'm still

00:22:58.400 --> 00:22:59.700
incorrectly categorized.

00:23:00.900 --> 00:23:03.000
I have to supermarket came in doctor's office

00:23:03.700 --> 00:23:06.900
around beaches in pools during

00:23:06.900 --> 00:23:09.700
family gatherings in locker rooms at

00:23:09.700 --> 00:23:12.000
church in the subway. I said walk down the street.

00:23:14.800 --> 00:23:17.600
In this moment right now.

00:23:20.800 --> 00:23:22.300
Why do I feel it?

00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:23.400
here

00:23:28.700 --> 00:23:31.300
this place to my mind often ends with a

00:23:31.300 --> 00:23:32.900
Claudia ranking quote.

00:23:33.400 --> 00:23:36.100
Sometimes I supposed to hold what is not

00:23:36.100 --> 00:23:37.100
there until it is

00:23:38.200 --> 00:23:41.200
then what is comes apart the closer you are

00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:41.600
to it?

00:23:50.300 --> 00:23:52.400
I find myself again in a Border Town.

00:23:53.900 --> 00:23:56.400
It's not on purpose, but I don't think it's

00:23:56.400 --> 00:23:57.800
much of a coincidence either.

00:24:01.100 --> 00:24:02.400
This is Muhammad.

00:24:05.900 --> 00:24:09.400
I feel myself stopped my car and walked

00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:11.600
towards this building. That's also liminal.

00:24:12.100 --> 00:24:14.800
It used to be a train depot then abandoned.

00:24:19.300 --> 00:24:23.100
There's this huge map on the wall imposing. It's factuality

00:24:22.100 --> 00:24:25.200
onto the little postcard carousels.

00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:28.500
Each one of them a little window to a new place.

00:24:29.800 --> 00:24:32.300
If I think of postcards in this way, it

00:24:32.300 --> 00:24:34.500
feels possessive rather than trivial.

00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:38.600
I can literally own this place and send

00:24:38.600 --> 00:24:39.200
it to someone else.

00:24:41.300 --> 00:24:42.300
Who gets to decide?

00:24:44.400 --> 00:24:47.300
All I can lay claim to other things that happen

00:24:47.300 --> 00:24:47.900
inside me.

00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:55.100
I was working with

00:24:54.100 --> 00:24:57.300
some friends on a web series down

00:24:57.300 --> 00:25:00.400
in Austin and I when I was down there

00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:03.500
I was I saw myself

00:25:03.500 --> 00:25:06.800
as a sis dude who had

00:25:06.800 --> 00:25:09.100
a fetish for Trans woman is what I saw it as

00:25:09.700 --> 00:25:12.600
And that was something that I had buried and

00:25:12.600 --> 00:25:16.500
just like not told me buddy. And so I was down there. I tried

00:25:15.500 --> 00:25:18.500
to like go on a date with this girl.

00:25:18.500 --> 00:25:20.300
I met on Craigslist basically.

00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:23.400
And I you know went on a date with her.

00:25:24.200 --> 00:25:27.500
And it was like the moment like we started talking on the date. I

00:25:27.500 --> 00:25:28.200
was just so

00:25:29.800 --> 00:25:32.100
it that was like there was a moment Clarity there for me

00:25:32.100 --> 00:25:35.600
that I realized. I didn't just want to like date this woman

00:25:35.600 --> 00:25:37.100
be with her whatever I

00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:41.300
Was this woman was me I was her this whole

00:25:41.300 --> 00:25:44.700
thing kind of clicked to my head that I wanted to like become who

00:25:44.700 --> 00:25:44.900
she was.

00:25:45.900 --> 00:25:48.100
And that that moment happened with

00:25:48.100 --> 00:25:48.900
me and like it.

00:25:49.800 --> 00:25:51.000
That was an important moment for me.

00:25:57.600 --> 00:26:00.600
Whenever you see a shadow on the ground, that's the

00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:02.200
sky commuting with the Earth.

00:26:03.100 --> 00:26:05.100
Or the sky trying to hide itself.

00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:08.500
Perhaps there can be peace in this hiding.

00:26:09.400 --> 00:26:11.600
I can walk forever and be who I am.

00:26:12.500 --> 00:26:15.600
The precious of living life based on my body are over

00:26:15.600 --> 00:26:17.500
there and I'm here.

00:26:19.500 --> 00:26:23.000
My mind starts drifting creating a list this time

00:26:22.200 --> 00:26:25.100
of places where gender doesn't matter.

00:26:26.300 --> 00:26:28.700
being out in nature or by a body of water

00:26:29.800 --> 00:26:32.500
Being quiet and silent and just listening to

00:26:32.500 --> 00:26:35.600
my surroundings and what's going on around me can help

00:26:35.600 --> 00:26:38.300
me be peaceful. I'm really more to the earth and

00:26:38.300 --> 00:26:41.400
the things that have been here longer than I have. I love writing

00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:41.900
my bike.

00:26:43.100 --> 00:26:46.200
There are these Trails by my house I go on to get away and just

00:26:46.200 --> 00:26:46.600
move.

00:26:47.700 --> 00:26:50.700
One of them has this enclosure of trees that just

00:26:50.700 --> 00:26:52.100
envelops you as you ride through.

00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:56.200
In my professor's office once I went to her with

00:26:56.200 --> 00:27:00.000
some questions about class material we were talking about intellectually exciting

00:26:59.200 --> 00:27:02.200
things so gender became a non-issue.

00:27:02.800 --> 00:27:05.200
I felt like I was just me and that what I

00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:07.800
had to say and what I thought was more important than my gender.

00:27:08.800 --> 00:27:10.700
My high school's theater my car.

00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:15.500
There's this invisible barrier between me and the

00:27:15.500 --> 00:27:17.000
rest of the world when I'm in my car.

00:27:19.500 --> 00:27:22.600
It's a small place. That's just for me and it

00:27:22.600 --> 00:27:23.100
can go anywhere.

00:27:25.900 --> 00:27:28.900
The past two days has been one

00:27:28.900 --> 00:27:30.900
place after another on the outskirts.

00:27:32.200 --> 00:27:34.600
between destinations between histories

00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:38.600
Places. I've been so far have been like this.

00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:42.300
But as I get back to my car, I'm reminded of a

00:27:42.300 --> 00:27:45.000
conversation. I had recently that changed everything.

00:27:46.200 --> 00:27:49.300
You can have ideas. You're gonna

00:27:49.300 --> 00:27:52.600
have feelings you can have thoughts about your identity,

00:27:52.600 --> 00:27:55.800
but you really aren't able to start comprehending it

00:27:55.800 --> 00:27:58.700
until you can actually talk about it.

00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:03.000
Or not. I'm not speaking for everybody. But for me whenever I'm able to

00:28:03.100 --> 00:28:06.600
say something something for me actually clicks unable to

00:28:06.600 --> 00:28:08.400
understand it and process it better.

00:28:09.800 --> 00:28:12.400
But not really told about the idea for identity coming

00:28:12.400 --> 00:28:15.400
true what causation but as I ponder it

00:28:15.400 --> 00:28:18.700
now, I kind of like it I'm thinking of how importantly

00:28:18.700 --> 00:28:21.900
was for me to work up the courage to say the words John

00:28:21.900 --> 00:28:24.200
Deere dysphoria out loud

00:28:24.200 --> 00:28:28.100
to a real person in order to make it real. I had

00:28:27.100 --> 00:28:31.000
to begin that process first before

00:28:30.300 --> 00:28:33.600
I could look into doing anything

00:28:33.600 --> 00:28:34.400
physical.

00:28:35.500 --> 00:28:38.600
A lot of trans women will start a hormone replacement therapy,

00:28:38.600 --> 00:28:41.400
which I want to like soft and say you don't have to transition

00:28:41.400 --> 00:28:44.200
physically to be trans but certain people choose to

00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:47.100
because it aligns with who they are mainly because they have

00:28:47.100 --> 00:28:50.500
the privilege and them the monetary value to do it. Some people

00:28:50.500 --> 00:28:54.000
choose to start that first before publicly saying

00:28:53.300 --> 00:28:54.700
that they're trans

00:28:56.100 --> 00:28:59.400
For me, it was like the opposite. I had like come out

00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:02.500
to myself first and like make sure I'm like everything internally was

00:29:02.500 --> 00:29:05.400
set with me like my therapist and everyone else and that's just

00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:08.700
what I needed to do for me. I literally

00:29:08.700 --> 00:29:12.000
had to prove to myself the trans identities

00:29:11.300 --> 00:29:15.200
are valid. I had to read dance literature

00:29:14.200 --> 00:29:17.800
about gender theory about feminist

00:29:17.800 --> 00:29:21.000
history. I had to read that in

00:29:20.100 --> 00:29:23.400
order to accept my identity of this is

00:29:23.400 --> 00:29:26.500
real. I feel like especially early

00:29:26.500 --> 00:29:29.600
on in my transition. I was constantly thinking about gender.

00:29:29.600 --> 00:29:32.500
It's all I could think about, you know, I couldn't separate gender

00:29:32.500 --> 00:29:35.800
from anything for a very long time because I was still critically

00:29:35.800 --> 00:29:36.900
thinking about my own

00:29:51.800 --> 00:29:52.200
right

00:30:38.500 --> 00:30:41.600
I won't be here if it were not for my

00:30:41.600 --> 00:30:42.100
dysphoria.

00:30:42.900 --> 00:30:44.000
my questioning

00:30:50.300 --> 00:30:53.500
finally arriving at a place that feels like a destination.

00:30:55.800 --> 00:30:58.600
Sitting outside my room. I think of all of the

00:30:58.600 --> 00:30:59.600
motels and movies.

00:31:01.800 --> 00:31:03.900
It's an American Silver Screen staple.

00:31:05.300 --> 00:31:08.400
Something about their in-betweenness makes them a perfect

00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:10.600
standing for the American way of life.

00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:15.700
It's like that Richard Blanco home looking for

00:31:15.700 --> 00:31:16.900
the gulf Motel.

00:31:17.600 --> 00:31:20.500
I'm here for one night. And it says

00:31:20.500 --> 00:31:23.300
if I'm joined in a Litany of the American West.

00:31:29.600 --> 00:31:32.500
Blanco repeats there should be nothing here.

00:31:32.500 --> 00:31:33.800
I don't remember.

00:31:43.600 --> 00:31:45.200
The first noticed it in the ocean.

00:31:47.500 --> 00:31:50.100
The way my body floated in the salt water.

00:31:51.400 --> 00:31:54.400
The way I was so easily rocked and boy by gentle waves.

00:31:56.200 --> 00:31:56.600
That was the beginning.

00:31:58.100 --> 00:31:59.800
when endless expansive liquor

00:32:00.900 --> 00:32:03.400
more than a year after I took that first week pill.

00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:09.200
Changes were subtle like that measured in

00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:09.600
years.

00:32:11.700 --> 00:32:14.900
I noticed that I felt the cold more I needed

00:32:14.900 --> 00:32:16.700
blankets and warm socks and sweaters.

00:32:17.600 --> 00:32:19.800
Seat of my genes clung to me when I walked.

00:32:21.200 --> 00:32:24.500
my skin softened scratched straight more

00:32:24.500 --> 00:32:24.600
easily

00:32:26.300 --> 00:32:29.800
my appetite changed. I wanted the leaders

00:32:29.800 --> 00:32:30.900
and leaders of water.

00:32:33.500 --> 00:32:34.600
It isn't a mixed.

00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:38.500
My body fat moves around depositing a

00:32:38.500 --> 00:32:39.900
soft cushion beneath all my skin.

00:32:41.700 --> 00:32:44.300
I also remain aware of the things that magic can't

00:32:44.300 --> 00:32:44.500
do.

00:32:45.900 --> 00:32:47.100
The parts in my body.

00:32:47.900 --> 00:32:49.200
That won't ever fit.

00:32:50.600 --> 00:32:53.100
In some ways. I feel that more keenly than ever.

00:32:56.200 --> 00:32:57.000
It's not perfect.

00:32:57.900 --> 00:33:00.100
But the things that always hurt me about my body

00:33:00.100 --> 00:33:01.500
hurt less.

00:33:02.900 --> 00:33:05.300
No matter what magic exists in this deeply

00:33:05.300 --> 00:33:05.900
Magical World.

00:33:06.900 --> 00:33:08.700
I'll always be becoming something else.

00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:14.400
As the shape of my body changes the sensation of my skin and muscles

00:33:14.400 --> 00:33:17.100
and Bones as I carry them through the world also changes.

00:33:19.100 --> 00:33:22.400
Today the noticing is receding and there is

00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:24.200
a kind of growing piece in my heart.

00:33:29.700 --> 00:33:32.400
All right, listening out there that are working at Grand Canyon

00:33:32.400 --> 00:33:34.600
west. We are a majority wallet right now.

00:33:35.600 --> 00:33:38.500
This is what we've been asking for for years. We want from

00:33:38.500 --> 00:33:41.400
full of our corporations were along the north end of session

00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:44.900
689 I start listening to the local radio back when

00:33:44.900 --> 00:33:47.200
it became successful. This is that opportunity.

00:33:48.200 --> 00:33:51.700
There's a saying that there is great opportunity in chaos, and

00:33:51.700 --> 00:33:54.100
I think that really captures what we're

00:33:54.100 --> 00:33:54.800
going through right now.

00:33:55.700 --> 00:33:59.600
I can relate in some small way representation of

00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:02.600
people who felt like me has always either been

00:34:02.600 --> 00:34:05.600
a joke or a fetish both at my

00:34:05.600 --> 00:34:05.700
expense.

00:34:10.400 --> 00:34:13.700
I drift away admiring. The Mist is

00:34:13.700 --> 00:34:14.800
a curls through the Hills.

00:34:20.500 --> 00:34:23.300
Maybe there can be

00:34:23.300 --> 00:34:25.100
a list of places where I feel like myself.

00:34:26.500 --> 00:34:28.400
Here would definitely make the cut.

00:34:30.100 --> 00:34:34.000
Looking back at most places for my childhood. Most certainly

00:34:33.200 --> 00:34:36.500
would not though. If you asked me

00:34:36.500 --> 00:34:40.100
to make the same list 15 years ago, some of

00:34:39.100 --> 00:34:40.700
them might have been.

00:34:41.400 --> 00:34:44.400
But as I've come to realize these feelings and desires is

00:34:44.400 --> 00:34:47.400
not just passing things, but as concrete parts

00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:50.600
of myself that aren't going away that changes the

00:34:50.600 --> 00:34:51.400
space I make for them.

00:35:02.100 --> 00:35:04.500
I'm reminded of a conversation I had recently.

00:35:05.400 --> 00:35:08.600
I think wanted one of those things works. Like I just

00:35:08.600 --> 00:35:11.300
want this I think desire takes it

00:35:11.300 --> 00:35:14.500
just up a notch where it's like I know

00:35:14.500 --> 00:35:17.100
I want this but there's a certain level of necessity that

00:35:17.100 --> 00:35:21.400
comes with them. So in regards to translate the

00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:23.500
first thing you start to think about like, oh,

00:35:23.500 --> 00:35:26.000
okay. I recognize who I am

00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:26.100
now.

00:35:27.300 --> 00:35:28.800
Now I want this.

00:35:29.900 --> 00:35:32.300
But it's more than just wanting it's

00:35:32.300 --> 00:35:35.300
a certain level like you're reaching desire. Like this is

00:35:35.300 --> 00:35:38.300
what I need in order to make myself feel more

00:35:38.300 --> 00:35:41.500
relaxed desire and just for it be like this dance

00:35:41.500 --> 00:35:44.700
like an even better like a teeter-totter and a playground.

00:35:46.200 --> 00:35:49.300
The more you kind of chip away at one side the other that's going

00:35:49.300 --> 00:35:50.000
to balance out.

00:35:52.600 --> 00:35:55.600
It's kind of like what I call spooking yourself

00:35:55.600 --> 00:35:58.500
and it makes you question but I

00:35:58.500 --> 00:36:02.200
think what helps to combat that is reinforcement from

00:36:01.200 --> 00:36:03.700
external forces.

00:36:04.900 --> 00:36:07.300
So I think like for example like it's someone

00:36:07.300 --> 00:36:10.200
genders you properly it's kind of like, okay.

00:36:11.500 --> 00:36:14.200
we're getting through it's fine, you know get the pick

00:36:14.200 --> 00:36:14.600
up these little

00:36:15.500 --> 00:36:18.600
Pieces you may take them for granted sometimes

00:36:18.600 --> 00:36:20.300
to pick them up sometimes and go.

00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:23.200
All right. I'm doubting myself with this

00:36:23.200 --> 00:36:26.400
is working and eventually gonna have a piece that was much bigger than even

00:36:26.400 --> 00:36:27.200
just a week ago.

00:36:28.800 --> 00:36:31.700
It's always funny because we always ask ourselves

00:36:31.700 --> 00:36:34.200
or we sure but since people never

00:36:34.200 --> 00:36:37.900
get back to that question because it's to

00:36:37.900 --> 00:36:40.200
be implied that you were created that way

00:36:40.200 --> 00:36:42.100
so that you're you're okay with that.

00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:52.600
For some reason it comes most strongly at

00:36:52.600 --> 00:36:53.200
the dog park.

00:36:54.800 --> 00:36:57.100
I'm alone throwing the first before my dog

00:36:57.100 --> 00:36:58.100
at the park.

00:36:59.200 --> 00:37:02.300
And I look across the long stretch of grass and see a beautiful

00:37:02.300 --> 00:37:05.900
woman or girl. Sometimes looking totally

00:37:05.900 --> 00:37:08.100
casual playing with her dog.

00:37:09.300 --> 00:37:11.300
sometimes in a cute skirt and t-shirt

00:37:13.200 --> 00:37:16.500
But there's something about the space of contemplation While I'm

00:37:16.500 --> 00:37:18.200
Alone at the park thinking.

00:37:19.100 --> 00:37:20.900
That makes my longing to be more female.

00:37:22.600 --> 00:37:23.000
Feel so strong.

00:37:34.500 --> 00:37:37.500
I wake up homesick for those brown leaves and

00:37:37.500 --> 00:37:38.000
moist air.

00:37:39.100 --> 00:37:42.300
The expense of sky is Sheltering in its

00:37:42.300 --> 00:37:42.400
own way.

00:37:43.800 --> 00:37:46.400
Opening me up to the possibility of my desire.

00:37:48.200 --> 00:37:50.800
It's not a Chasm. It's a starting point.

00:37:54.700 --> 00:37:57.400
He's in here Jones put together a list of feelings

00:37:57.400 --> 00:38:00.800
that relate to depersonalization a sense

00:38:00.800 --> 00:38:03.900
of Detachment from your own thoughts feelings or

00:38:03.900 --> 00:38:04.300
body.

00:38:06.200 --> 00:38:09.600
Feeling split into Parts with one going through the motions of

00:38:09.600 --> 00:38:12.000
participating in the world and one observing quieter.

00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:17.200
Feeling as if you have an unreal or absent self.

00:38:17.900 --> 00:38:20.900
experiencing the world is distant dreamlike

00:38:20.900 --> 00:38:24.200
foggy lifeless colorless artificial

00:38:25.500 --> 00:38:29.000
being absorbed within yourself and experiencing compulsive

00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:32.500
self-scrutiny or extreme rumination having

00:38:31.500 --> 00:38:34.500
an ongoing and coherent dialogue

00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:37.500
with yourself feeling like a veil or glass wall

00:38:37.500 --> 00:38:40.400
separates you from the world emotional or

00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:41.500
physical numbness.

00:38:42.500 --> 00:38:44.300
I'm inability to imagine things.

00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:47.400
Being able to think clearly but feeling

00:38:47.400 --> 00:38:50.500
as if some essential quality is lacking from your thoughts or

00:38:50.500 --> 00:38:53.000
experience of the world a sense of

00:38:53.200 --> 00:38:56.400
disconnectedness from Life impeding you from creative

00:38:56.400 --> 00:38:57.900
and open involvement with the world.

00:39:01.300 --> 00:39:04.400
I perform and maintenance search for dysphoria and

00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:07.300
I slowly start thinking memories to each of

00:39:07.300 --> 00:39:08.200
zinnia's points.

00:39:11.300 --> 00:39:14.300
Many have been lost my brains data constantly being

00:39:14.300 --> 00:39:16.500
corrupted by the moths of time.

00:39:27.700 --> 00:39:30.500
My car got stuck on the Southwest slope of

00:39:30.500 --> 00:39:31.300
the turquoise Mountain.

00:39:32.900 --> 00:39:35.200
Many civilizations have named this mountain

00:39:35.200 --> 00:39:37.800
but it's history is its own?

00:39:39.300 --> 00:39:43.100
many people say that it's home to demons and Monsters the

00:39:42.100 --> 00:39:45.900
novel whole word that describes them translates as

00:39:46.600 --> 00:39:49.200
that which gets in the way of a successful life.

00:39:55.700 --> 00:39:57.800
I don't know what has gotten in my way tonight.

00:39:58.900 --> 00:39:59.800
the soft Earth

00:40:00.500 --> 00:40:03.300
my poor driving or my laps and

00:40:03.300 --> 00:40:03.500
judgment.

00:40:05.900 --> 00:40:08.000
It got to the point where I needed help if I was

00:40:08.200 --> 00:40:09.700
going to get unstuck by dark.

00:40:10.700 --> 00:40:13.600
Fortunately, one of the houses down the road had

00:40:13.600 --> 00:40:16.600
two compassionate Souls who not only pulled my

00:40:16.600 --> 00:40:19.300
car out but offered to

00:40:19.300 --> 00:40:21.200
have me sleep here in their camper.

00:40:25.600 --> 00:40:28.800
Esther Yazzie says that the most effective way

00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:31.500
to weaken a monster is to name it.

00:40:32.500 --> 00:40:35.400
I've given dysphoria a name

00:40:35.400 --> 00:40:39.300
trans doubt long deep personalization.

00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:45.600
I've been in my head so much today.

00:40:46.700 --> 00:40:48.500
I need some way to Center myself.

00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:53.400
The thing I used to do associate the beginning what I would go to sleep just

00:40:53.400 --> 00:40:56.300
repeat myself a little Mantra to help

00:40:56.300 --> 00:40:59.400
kind of reinforce because the more you say it to yourself the more

00:40:59.400 --> 00:41:02.600
you internally believe it. How would I used to say is you're

00:41:02.600 --> 00:41:05.500
You're Something ago. I'm a

00:41:05.500 --> 00:41:05.600
woman.

00:41:06.500 --> 00:41:10.100
I'm powerful. I'm beautiful and then

00:41:09.100 --> 00:41:12.500
I will repeat it until you just kind of goes off

00:41:12.500 --> 00:41:15.600
and fall asleep. And I just kind of sits you into

00:41:15.600 --> 00:41:18.600
this low State and then you've the

00:41:18.600 --> 00:41:21.000
last thing you think about for you to sleep is how powerful you are.

00:41:21.200 --> 00:41:22.400
Is that gender identify?

00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:25.200
I feel like it helps manifest and you

00:41:25.200 --> 00:41:28.600
can see more results in internally so

00:41:28.600 --> 00:41:32.200
that the external will begin to shine outwardly

00:41:31.200 --> 00:41:32.700
a lot stronger.

00:41:42.200 --> 00:41:48.100
here

00:42:16.500 --> 00:42:19.500
I think traveling like this is part of coming to

00:42:19.500 --> 00:42:21.400
some sort of stale makeover myself.

00:42:22.300 --> 00:42:25.300
The place I find myself or my body finds itself.

00:42:26.500 --> 00:42:28.100
It's like Mika cardenasis.

00:42:28.900 --> 00:42:32.300
What might one say is transgender desire perhaps

00:42:31.300 --> 00:42:34.100
it's rooted in the desire to be

00:42:34.100 --> 00:42:37.400
something else than what one presently is or what one was

00:42:37.400 --> 00:42:40.600
given perhaps it's a particular arrangement of

00:42:40.600 --> 00:42:44.100
the Throne of the Zane. Ronald writes throwness

00:42:43.100 --> 00:42:46.900
is an experience of nothing or nullity

00:42:46.900 --> 00:42:49.400
an experience, which Heidegger calls

00:42:49.400 --> 00:42:52.800
guilt a radical impotence regarding

00:42:52.800 --> 00:42:55.600
the conditions of the fair in which

00:42:55.600 --> 00:42:57.700
one finds one self thrown.

00:42:58.600 --> 00:43:02.100
Thrownesses like the Emporia itself the moment

00:43:01.100 --> 00:43:04.300
of realization of disconnection.

00:43:05.400 --> 00:43:08.000
after which the motion of the drives returns

00:43:13.700 --> 00:43:16.600
throwness implies a year and a

00:43:16.600 --> 00:43:16.600
bear

00:43:18.300 --> 00:43:21.300
Is it a singular moment of Thrones or is it a state

00:43:21.300 --> 00:43:23.700
of being of being thrown here and there?

00:43:24.800 --> 00:43:27.300
And one of the distance that spends those two

00:43:27.300 --> 00:43:27.500
places.

00:43:29.800 --> 00:43:32.300
Is it possible in the act of being

00:43:32.300 --> 00:43:34.500
thrown to land somewhere in between?

00:43:40.400 --> 00:43:43.000
Parts of the area were closed due to the

00:43:43.300 --> 00:43:46.600
virus. So I was unable to descend into the reconstructed

00:43:46.600 --> 00:43:47.200
Kiva.

00:43:50.200 --> 00:43:52.100
I did myself to taking in the light.

00:43:53.600 --> 00:43:54.300
and eminent

00:43:54.800 --> 00:43:54.800
ly

00:44:05.600 --> 00:44:08.100
I swiped into thought as the day draws to

00:44:08.100 --> 00:44:11.300
a close and I reminded of a conversation I had

00:44:11.300 --> 00:44:11.800
recently.

00:44:13.700 --> 00:44:16.700
Mirrors are very very personal and

00:44:16.700 --> 00:44:19.700
very powerful places. I think for everyone

00:44:19.700 --> 00:44:22.200
but this especially trans people.

00:44:24.600 --> 00:44:27.800
It forces us to physicalize our

00:44:27.800 --> 00:44:28.600
experiences.

00:44:29.700 --> 00:44:32.000
I think that's why it's so difficult for many of

00:44:32.300 --> 00:44:34.100
us is because mirror

00:44:34.900 --> 00:44:37.300
with a manifestation of our body

00:44:37.300 --> 00:44:38.300
that we have to face.

00:44:40.900 --> 00:44:43.700
It reflects the person that was looking

00:44:43.700 --> 00:44:46.200
at it. I don't think so. I think it's a neutral

00:44:46.200 --> 00:44:47.600
space then because it's

00:44:50.400 --> 00:44:52.700
well, I guess it depends. Where is this mirror?

00:44:53.700 --> 00:44:55.700
Or where's this reflection? Rather?

00:44:58.300 --> 00:45:01.200
When I look at myself in the mirror, it is

00:45:01.200 --> 00:45:05.100
gendered because I can't separate gender from myself as much

00:45:04.100 --> 00:45:07.600
as I would like to live in a utopian World post

00:45:07.600 --> 00:45:08.300
gender. We don't

00:45:12.400 --> 00:45:15.400
Even around trans people, you know, and we're talking

00:45:15.400 --> 00:45:18.700
about being trans and stuff like right now sometimes I'm

00:45:18.700 --> 00:45:21.300
so aware of my transness after you

00:45:21.300 --> 00:45:24.400
know, I'm processing everything and then looking to

00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:26.500
a mirror or whatever and then sometimes like oh, yeah.

00:45:28.300 --> 00:45:29.300
Like that's me.

00:45:34.600 --> 00:45:37.400
I don't feel that surprised anymore, but it's

00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:40.800
I still have those moments of just like recognizing my

00:45:40.800 --> 00:45:43.900
own Beauty and just reveling in

00:45:43.900 --> 00:45:46.300
that Euphoria, which I never thought I would have

00:45:46.300 --> 00:45:50.600
and I was told I would never have and Society

00:45:49.600 --> 00:45:52.300
taught me I would never have but

00:45:55.200 --> 00:45:58.200
b****, this is reality and I do have it, you know.

00:46:05.200 --> 00:46:08.400
As I carry along on the road Coin West I imagine

00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:11.200
a place where we are all in relation.

00:46:14.500 --> 00:46:16.100
Maybe there are places in.

00:46:16.500 --> 00:46:17.200
communities where that happens

00:46:17.900 --> 00:46:19.800
connections are made physically.

00:46:20.800 --> 00:46:23.500
But what about people like me who grew

00:46:23.500 --> 00:46:26.700
up in an area in time where those physical places were

00:46:26.700 --> 00:46:28.000
relegated to big cities?

00:46:29.500 --> 00:46:32.100
Again at the periphery of the land.

00:46:36.200 --> 00:46:38.700
There is a reason I chose to write on medium.

00:46:39.400 --> 00:46:39.600
instead of

00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:42.200
Tom or God forbid Twitter

00:46:43.300 --> 00:46:46.900
social media was simply not built for long-form

00:46:46.900 --> 00:46:49.000
discussions or any kind of

00:46:49.700 --> 00:46:52.700
neurons. I had so many conflicting ideas so many

00:46:52.700 --> 00:46:55.500
confusing thoughts to work out that I

00:46:55.500 --> 00:46:58.100
needed to write entire articles in order to

00:46:58.100 --> 00:46:59.700
get my point across.

00:47:00.700 --> 00:47:04.000
It was therapeutic to write everything down. But

00:47:03.500 --> 00:47:07.000
even more importantly it connected

00:47:06.400 --> 00:47:10.000
me to a community of trans people

00:47:09.600 --> 00:47:12.800
who were willing to listen and talk.

00:47:13.700 --> 00:47:16.500
But at the same time I think there's this fascinating side

00:47:16.500 --> 00:47:19.800
of digital spaces that are hyper real.

00:47:21.200 --> 00:47:24.800
So many people live in unaccepting spaces or are

00:47:24.800 --> 00:47:25.900
unable to transition.

00:47:27.400 --> 00:47:31.100
The people can be themselves online and online only it

00:47:30.100 --> 00:47:33.300
wears in the real world to have to wear this mask

00:47:33.300 --> 00:47:36.600
where they already know who they are, or maybe they're just questioning,

00:47:36.600 --> 00:47:39.500
but they can explore and be themselves online.

00:47:39.500 --> 00:47:41.300
I very much experience that

00:47:47.700 --> 00:47:48.700
On the road again.

00:47:49.500 --> 00:47:52.300
With all my destinations finally behind me.

00:47:53.600 --> 00:47:56.300
This whole trip. I've been trying to create a space for

00:47:56.300 --> 00:47:59.200
the idea of a perfect Trend space.

00:48:00.300 --> 00:48:03.500
Transness is always talked about in relation to something else.

00:48:03.500 --> 00:48:06.600
You're either safe or trans you either

00:48:06.600 --> 00:48:08.600
fit what's been giving to you or you don't?

00:48:09.500 --> 00:48:13.200
The question what are you derives directly

00:48:12.200 --> 00:48:15.300
from the idea that you do not

00:48:15.300 --> 00:48:18.500
fit any given label. So others feel the

00:48:18.500 --> 00:48:21.000
need to place you in categories that work for them.

00:48:22.600 --> 00:48:25.900
When you finally understand your trans you

00:48:25.900 --> 00:48:28.100
shift somehow into a different space.

00:48:29.300 --> 00:48:31.500
That shift happens mentally before anything else.

00:48:32.300 --> 00:48:35.200
But how is the experience of trans represented?

00:48:36.200 --> 00:48:38.200
I'm sure they can think of loads of examples.

00:48:39.400 --> 00:48:43.100
But this journey is for you as much

00:48:42.100 --> 00:48:43.900
as it is for me.

00:48:54.800 --> 00:49:01.600
It is.

00:49:31.100 --> 00:49:36.700
it

00:49:50.900 --> 00:49:52.000
you

00:50:19.200 --> 00:50:19.300
you

00:50:25.200 --> 00:50:30.200
yes, I

00:50:29.200 --> 00:50:32.900
wore my everyday work shoes today. They

00:50:32.900 --> 00:50:34.800
are called titty pink.

00:50:35.700 --> 00:50:38.300
But I'm sure that the nice Chinese people did not

00:50:38.300 --> 00:50:41.000
name them that they probably named it pastel pink.

00:50:41.900 --> 00:50:44.900
Now the chickens were back here earlier come.

00:50:45.200 --> 00:50:45.600
out chick chick

00:50:46.300 --> 00:50:49.200
their names are brown chicken brown chicken brown chicken and brown

00:50:49.200 --> 00:50:49.400
chicken.

00:50:51.900 --> 00:50:53.200
Here Comes Brown Chicken

00:50:54.300 --> 00:50:56.300
come out clock and Bootsy.

00:50:57.200 --> 00:50:59.400
Now Bootsy says one word say it.

00:51:00.300 --> 00:51:03.200
That's his one phrase for everything and here

00:51:03.200 --> 00:51:04.200
comes kitty cat.

00:51:05.200 --> 00:51:06.700
She thinks everything is hers.

00:51:07.500 --> 00:51:08.500
Yes, she does.

00:51:09.600 --> 00:51:12.300
Hey you stop that everybody wants to

00:51:12.300 --> 00:51:12.900
be a star.

00:51:14.300 --> 00:51:15.100
in that font

00:51:22.600 --> 00:51:26.000
Well, I got some fleas on my pantyhose. So there

00:51:25.100 --> 00:51:27.300
must be some place in my backyard.

00:51:28.200 --> 00:51:29.000
how rude

00:51:31.200 --> 00:51:34.800
the governor was saying that we have flattened out and

00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:38.100
that there are a lot less people on ventilators and

00:51:37.100 --> 00:51:40.300
in intensive care than they

00:51:40.300 --> 00:51:43.300
had anticipated. So they know that the stay home

00:51:43.300 --> 00:51:43.900
is working.

00:51:44.800 --> 00:51:47.400
Well, I'm doing a little projects around the

00:51:47.400 --> 00:51:49.600
house and I've been very lazy.

00:51:50.500 --> 00:51:54.000
I pulled out my churro cards yesterday and looked

00:51:53.200 --> 00:51:56.300
at those for a little bit just to get myself

00:51:56.300 --> 00:51:59.700
something to do but having attention deficit and

00:51:59.700 --> 00:52:02.200
dyslexia. I looked at those for five minutes

00:52:02.200 --> 00:52:03.300
and that's about all I could.

00:52:08.600 --> 00:52:11.300
Yes, hopefully we'll be back to work. Now. I was

00:52:11.300 --> 00:52:14.200
confused when these lights didn't come on earlier.

00:52:15.600 --> 00:52:18.800
Oh one thing I miss about working really

00:52:18.800 --> 00:52:19.600
is the money.

00:52:20.400 --> 00:52:23.600
I'm sure that the lovely people will be coming in soon enough

00:52:23.600 --> 00:52:26.500
to give me buckets of money. I hope

00:52:26.500 --> 00:52:29.300
so because goodness gracious. My mortgage company

00:52:29.300 --> 00:52:32.300
is now deferred two months of payments, and I'm

00:52:32.300 --> 00:52:34.600
so excited because they're going to do a third.

00:52:35.200 --> 00:52:38.800
I have no employment. So there's been no check coming. I have

00:52:38.800 --> 00:52:41.800
had no help from the government SF yet.

00:52:41.800 --> 00:52:45.100
The future is somewhat frightening. This

00:52:44.100 --> 00:52:48.500
is the time of year when we're doing big benefits

00:52:47.500 --> 00:52:49.800
for the Mardi Gras Cruise.

00:52:50.700 --> 00:52:54.600
Charitable events doing events that

00:52:53.600 --> 00:52:56.400
are required for title holders

00:52:56.400 --> 00:52:59.300
for Gay Pride to set

00:52:59.300 --> 00:53:02.800
here and talk about myself and my accomplishments

00:53:02.800 --> 00:53:05.800
and the b******* of my life. Well, honey,

00:53:05.800 --> 00:53:08.700
I never thought of myself as being 59 years

00:53:08.700 --> 00:53:11.300
old until I stand next to this 26 year

00:53:11.300 --> 00:53:14.300
old or that 23 year old and they say

00:53:14.300 --> 00:53:17.400
hey Grandma, what are you going to stop? And

00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:20.400
I just look up go. I just should slap the taste out

00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:21.200
of your f****** mouth.

00:53:25.100 --> 00:53:28.300
So I decided this year since it's the 20th year

00:53:28.300 --> 00:53:31.400
of the official gay Easter Parade that I should at least

00:53:31.400 --> 00:53:34.100
commemorate the day and come out and walk around

00:53:34.100 --> 00:53:37.100
a little bit. I asked a few friends if they would like

00:53:37.100 --> 00:53:40.500
to come and join me today pretending to

00:53:40.500 --> 00:53:42.900
have fun or whatever it is that we have and

00:53:44.200 --> 00:53:46.100
I'm the only one which is just fine.

00:53:47.100 --> 00:53:51.400
Of course sad, okay. Happy Easter. You too, honey in that

00:53:51.400 --> 00:53:53.500
sweet. I have one fan following me.

00:53:55.400 --> 00:53:56.800
things change

00:53:59.300 --> 00:53:59.400
a lot

00:54:01.100 --> 00:54:02.200
kind of like Katrina

00:54:02.800 --> 00:54:05.400
that is what this reminds me of with all

00:54:05.400 --> 00:54:07.800
the buildings boarded up. The business is closed.

00:54:09.700 --> 00:54:11.400
It's just desolate.

00:54:15.200 --> 00:54:16.700
So Madam loralee lived here.

00:54:17.600 --> 00:54:20.300
Who supposedly tortured her slaves

00:54:20.300 --> 00:54:23.300
in the attic and one day I was driving by and I

00:54:23.300 --> 00:54:26.400
saw her standing out in front of her house and I looked back and she

00:54:26.400 --> 00:54:29.200
was gone. So every time I come by I always

00:54:29.200 --> 00:54:31.500
say bonjour madame.

00:54:33.500 --> 00:54:36.400
These Mass fog up your glasses

00:54:36.400 --> 00:54:37.000
when you breathe.

00:54:38.300 --> 00:54:39.200
Well, I got to take this off.

00:54:41.100 --> 00:54:41.900
I can't see.

00:54:43.300 --> 00:54:46.500
So boys and girls being safe takes your

00:54:46.500 --> 00:54:49.300
makeup off your face kind of like b******** and good

00:54:49.300 --> 00:54:49.500
sex.

00:54:50.300 --> 00:54:53.500
You get sweaty. Your lipstick comes off goes all

00:54:53.500 --> 00:54:56.100
around your face. That just means it was a big one.

00:54:59.800 --> 00:55:03.100
It's not that I have a little piece of something stuck

00:55:02.100 --> 00:55:03.700
in my throat.

00:55:04.800 --> 00:55:07.200
I had viral pneumonia several years ago

00:55:07.200 --> 00:55:09.100
and was two days from being dead.

00:55:10.200 --> 00:55:13.300
So I'm not really that much afraid of anything when it

00:55:13.300 --> 00:55:13.800
comes to that.

00:55:15.300 --> 00:55:18.300
Because after all we could all just drop dead right now from

00:55:18.300 --> 00:55:21.500
the heart attack or somebody decides. They don't like your voice and

00:55:21.500 --> 00:55:22.500
shoot you the f****** head.

00:55:25.200 --> 00:55:28.400
Poor baby, wherever he is I bet that's the person down the street lives

00:55:28.400 --> 00:55:28.700
here.

00:55:29.800 --> 00:55:31.000
temporary shelter

00:55:34.600 --> 00:55:37.600
That's that's what I'm afraid of becoming poor

00:55:37.600 --> 00:55:40.300
no place to go. No one who

00:55:40.300 --> 00:55:41.400
gives a f*** about you.

00:55:42.100 --> 00:55:43.700
And begging on the sidewalk.

00:55:46.500 --> 00:55:47.500
Sure, honey.

00:55:49.700 --> 00:55:50.700
And I have my glove.

00:55:54.200 --> 00:55:57.800
Miss Mary owns his house right over here her son

00:55:57.800 --> 00:55:58.100
has

00:55:59.400 --> 00:56:00.400
tongue cancer

00:56:01.400 --> 00:56:04.500
he had to have the bow taken out between his

00:56:04.500 --> 00:56:06.800
big and lower intestines.

00:56:07.700 --> 00:56:10.500
He's lost over a hundred and twenty pounds.

00:56:14.100 --> 00:56:14.900
Miss Mary

00:56:17.700 --> 00:56:19.100
We'll see if she's awake.

00:56:20.600 --> 00:56:23.200
And so I try to bring her treats every now and

00:56:23.200 --> 00:56:26.300
then just so that she feels like she's part of the real world.

00:56:26.300 --> 00:56:30.000
Oh miss Mary. Would you like to be on my documentary? I

00:56:29.100 --> 00:56:30.400
was calling you.

00:56:32.300 --> 00:56:33.400
How's everybody inside?

00:56:35.100 --> 00:56:35.800
need a hug

00:56:37.300 --> 00:56:37.400
All right.

00:56:38.300 --> 00:56:39.400
You need something. Call me.

00:56:41.200 --> 00:56:42.600
Well, that sounds very sad.

00:56:43.700 --> 00:56:47.000
It's Mary says that he's just about to go and

00:56:46.200 --> 00:56:48.500
she puts him in hospice.

00:56:49.300 --> 00:56:52.200
She can't go and stay with him or seeing so he'll die alone.

00:56:52.200 --> 00:56:54.000
So you might as well keep him here.

00:56:55.100 --> 00:56:56.200
People don't think about that.

00:56:58.300 --> 00:57:01.200
People are dying. They ain't got no family with them. They don't

00:57:01.200 --> 00:57:04.400
have anybody with them. You just wonder what happens to them. Do

00:57:04.400 --> 00:57:07.500
they go on to the greater reward or they?

00:57:08.800 --> 00:57:11.600
They become like Madam lurley and still live

00:57:11.600 --> 00:57:14.200
here in New Orleans and talk to you and visit you.

00:57:14.200 --> 00:57:18.000
Well, it's still spooky. I don't care what ghosts are

00:57:17.200 --> 00:57:20.200
still spooky. I have one that lives in my

00:57:20.200 --> 00:57:20.500
house.

00:57:21.700 --> 00:57:24.900
She likes to pick things up and move them and unplug

00:57:24.900 --> 00:57:25.200
things.

00:57:26.100 --> 00:57:27.500
Used to think it was the cat.

00:57:28.700 --> 00:57:31.700
But it's not the cat the cat just breaks it.

00:57:33.600 --> 00:57:36.600
Inside here is a beautiful picture

00:57:36.600 --> 00:57:37.400
of myself.

00:57:38.700 --> 00:57:40.100
You can't see it from in here.

00:57:44.200 --> 00:57:45.600
s***, it looks a lot like that one.

00:57:46.400 --> 00:57:49.300
Oh it is. Oh my god. Well how lovely?

00:57:51.600 --> 00:57:52.500
poor thing

00:57:53.400 --> 00:57:56.100
I hope he makes money. So anyway, when I was

00:57:56.100 --> 00:57:59.400
younger, I was exotic with long dark hair that

00:57:59.400 --> 00:58:01.900
was oddly enough salt and pepper.

00:58:02.800 --> 00:58:03.000
and

00:58:04.900 --> 00:58:07.400
went wherever had a great time people took

00:58:07.400 --> 00:58:10.400
me on trips with them in my 40s. That's

00:58:10.400 --> 00:58:12.500
all right when I started doing this shows and so forth.

00:58:13.500 --> 00:58:16.700
I mean people were fighting over me and being stupid

00:58:16.700 --> 00:58:20.000
and then turned 50 no difference.

00:58:21.200 --> 00:58:24.100
Still a line out the door, but then all of a

00:58:24.100 --> 00:58:27.200
sudden I turned 55 in the line disappeared and I'm like where

00:58:27.200 --> 00:58:30.600
the f*** are they at? Well what I

00:58:30.600 --> 00:58:34.100
see and what they see are not anything even remotely similar

00:58:33.100 --> 00:58:35.200
to the same thing.

00:58:37.400 --> 00:58:37.900
so

00:58:39.800 --> 00:58:41.500
Louisiana State Governor

00:58:42.200 --> 00:58:45.200
there's a democrat in a Republican state he

00:58:47.300 --> 00:58:51.300
Started interface one opening up bars that

00:58:50.300 --> 00:58:51.800
serve food.

00:58:52.600 --> 00:58:55.200
Which is really great, but I do not

00:58:55.200 --> 00:58:58.700
work in a bar that serves food. We

00:58:58.700 --> 00:59:02.200
have no economy, but tourism and bars

00:59:01.200 --> 00:59:04.200
and restaurants. So you need

00:59:04.200 --> 00:59:07.300
to get some of this s*** open so that somebody can get

00:59:07.300 --> 00:59:07.600
a job.

00:59:11.500 --> 00:59:13.100
Are in Metairie?

00:59:13.900 --> 00:59:15.100
And this is where?

00:59:16.300 --> 00:59:19.100
People move to but their families because they have

00:59:19.100 --> 00:59:22.400
schools. You have the malls. You have all the

00:59:22.400 --> 00:59:25.100
big food joints that

00:59:25.100 --> 00:59:28.000
you can't have downtown. Well can't you see how

00:59:28.500 --> 00:59:31.200
excited I am? Oh my God. It's just so big and long

00:59:31.200 --> 00:59:34.200
and ready for everything. And now here we

00:59:34.200 --> 00:59:37.300
are at Four Seasons the only gay bar

00:59:37.300 --> 00:59:41.300
in Metairie and the most consistent still open gay

00:59:40.300 --> 00:59:43.400
bar in Louisiana. And today is

00:59:43.400 --> 00:59:46.100
my first day to ever work in this bar and it's

00:59:46.100 --> 00:59:49.600
reopening today. So I'm a little nervous about walking

00:59:49.600 --> 00:59:52.600
into a place that I've not familiar with you

00:59:52.600 --> 00:59:55.200
can approach the bar. So please come in

00:59:55.200 --> 00:59:58.200
tonight. All we do is showing the two weeks. I have I'm gonna post

00:59:58.200 --> 01:00:00.700
them you mean I won't have to suck their dicks unless you

01:00:03.200 --> 01:00:05.100
I consider this Doug's bar.

01:00:06.100 --> 01:00:07.200
and Mags

01:00:08.100 --> 01:00:11.700
My bar, so I'm out here at Doug's

01:00:11.700 --> 01:00:14.100
bar. It's kind of hard to serve a drink you're not allowed

01:00:14.100 --> 01:00:18.600
to serve in glass because it could be, you know contaminated and

01:00:18.600 --> 01:00:19.700
you can go a couple way.

01:00:21.500 --> 01:00:22.000
Here we go.

01:00:25.500 --> 01:00:28.400
I feel like I'm going evening wear with the black gloves.

01:00:29.700 --> 01:00:32.300
So one gin and tonic and

01:00:32.300 --> 01:00:34.300
what would you like Ms. Ellen, honey?

01:00:35.500 --> 01:00:39.100
Oh, this is Mr. Allen. Oh

01:00:38.100 --> 01:00:41.800
my God. Look, it's the king of karaoke out

01:00:41.800 --> 01:00:44.300
here. And you brought big Jean with

01:00:44.300 --> 01:00:47.300
you. Oh my God that apparently y'all

01:00:47.300 --> 01:00:50.500
cannot set at the bar. You can see at the tables.

01:00:50.500 --> 01:00:53.800
Honestly. I don't give a s***. I really

01:00:53.800 --> 01:00:56.200
do because it's the law they made me do

01:00:56.200 --> 01:01:00.500
things. I don't normally do you oh vodka Splash

01:01:00.500 --> 01:01:03.500
up cran and swada in the

01:01:03.500 --> 01:01:04.700
tallest class you have with light eyes.

01:01:09.700 --> 01:01:12.000
Do I get the water out of the garden hose?

01:01:17.100 --> 01:01:19.900
You can't see me smile on behind this little mask.

01:01:21.300 --> 01:01:24.100
Thank you so much for your cooperation. Doug is your

01:01:24.100 --> 01:01:27.700
bartender Doug raise your hand. They may not know who you are. He

01:01:27.700 --> 01:01:30.600
says he has enormous genitalia that pleases

01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:31.000
all.

01:01:31.700 --> 01:01:34.700
So there you go. It suckable.

01:01:34.700 --> 01:01:36.900
Oh, that's so inappropriate Christine.

01:01:38.100 --> 01:01:41.200
I do only have to thank you. I deserve the

01:01:41.200 --> 01:01:44.200
cloud. No, I've actually only had it

01:01:44.200 --> 01:01:47.500
twice. I was tested two weeks ago and guess

01:01:47.500 --> 01:01:50.200
what? It's not reactive. So I will not be

01:01:50.200 --> 01:01:53.300
giving you that disease. All right,

01:01:53.300 --> 01:01:55.700
here we go Princess Stephanie, ladies and gentlemen.

01:02:30.800 --> 01:02:36.100
Anybody remember

01:02:35.100 --> 01:02:37.300
that stage being bigger?

01:02:57.100 --> 01:02:59.700
Okay.

01:03:00.900 --> 01:03:01.800
Amaya

01:03:03.900 --> 01:03:04.900
to Miami premiere

01:03:23.200 --> 01:03:23.500
You know.

01:03:31.700 --> 01:03:34.700
They support necromances.

01:04:05.700 --> 01:04:07.700
I'm gonna do yourself and

01:04:10.500 --> 01:04:14.900
You preguntang the

01:04:14.900 --> 01:04:15.500
question until?

01:04:35.400 --> 01:04:38.400
When you see who created la palabra de dios.

01:04:38.900 --> 01:04:41.400
and column

01:04:43.300 --> 01:04:43.500
here

01:05:10.900 --> 01:05:11.400
It's okay.

01:05:14.600 --> 01:05:15.500
innovative

01:05:16.600 --> 01:05:17.400
application

01:05:27.900 --> 01:05:31.400
primero Pokémon

01:05:30.400 --> 01:05:31.700
Japanese

01:05:41.400 --> 01:05:43.600
Pero despuino contestar. Con que.

01:05:44.500 --> 01:05:45.900
He seminario.

01:05:47.200 --> 01:05:49.800
No rest area ombre Casado solo.

01:05:51.100 --> 01:05:52.700
Catania que vihal Tamil

01:05:56.300 --> 01:05:59.600
Soto

01:06:00.200 --> 01:06:01.500
quinoa Costa Rica

01:06:22.700 --> 01:06:24.400
enero

01:06:36.900 --> 01:06:37.700
I'll see you again.

01:06:38.800 --> 01:06:41.500
baraso de

01:06:41.500 --> 01:06:41.900
leida

01:06:44.100 --> 01:06:46.400
Una Nina they say are.

01:06:47.900 --> 01:06:49.800
communicamo

01:06:51.200 --> 01:06:54.500
even the same propository voluntados

01:07:16.800 --> 01:07:19.400
please

01:07:29.100 --> 01:07:29.700
what you

01:07:30.700 --> 01:07:33.600
with God he said to say look like

01:07:33.600 --> 01:07:37.700
Academia.

01:07:40.500 --> 01:07:41.800
He coming tomorrow.

01:07:54.500 --> 01:07:57.200
see

01:07:58.200 --> 01:08:00.600
This is so prevent, you know the Microsoft episode today.

01:08:11.100 --> 01:08:14.200
Madrucada, yeah, no supportive armas.

01:08:17.600 --> 01:08:18.100
en la model

01:08:25.200 --> 01:08:26.200
entonces

01:08:27.600 --> 01:08:28.600
the city around

01:08:32.500 --> 01:08:39.300
Here position the

01:08:37.300 --> 01:08:40.800
PA no de Cabeza.

01:08:41.800 --> 01:08:44.600
No, okay a Laura de Sali lentos

01:08:44.600 --> 01:08:48.700
de salio un solo piano see behind.

01:08:47.700 --> 01:08:50.600
Oh, yeah lotralado.

01:08:52.200 --> 01:08:53.000
in Tennessee

01:08:57.300 --> 01:08:58.300
and don't say

01:08:59.800 --> 01:09:03.000
The own abueltica is a

01:09:02.300 --> 01:09:04.800
he who call autopia.

01:09:06.200 --> 01:09:07.000
Society

01:09:09.100 --> 01:09:14.100
No, equator, unavail gritoville.

01:09:16.500 --> 01:09:17.800
Yeah, we know that.

01:09:31.400 --> 01:09:40.500
I remember the claradao himatar

01:09:37.500 --> 01:09:41.300
later

01:09:40.300 --> 01:09:47.200
location.

01:09:51.300 --> 01:09:55.600
ovario tiene Aina

01:09:54.600 --> 01:09:58.100
DNA utero

01:09:57.100 --> 01:10:00.400
Todo esto de Mujer Lo tiene

01:10:01.600 --> 01:10:02.800
Los rosandecione

01:10:03.200 --> 01:10:08.000
Villa De La palta sientifical character

01:10:12.300 --> 01:10:12.300
er

01:10:24.600 --> 01:10:29.100
Then through

01:10:28.100 --> 01:10:29.600
the location.

01:10:39.600 --> 01:10:42.900
came out and mucho get a

01:10:42.900 --> 01:10:51.400
Los Angeles Community Association

01:11:04.900 --> 01:11:06.900
Uno personal memor

01:11:21.800 --> 01:11:24.200
you just take a person with defeated, you know,

01:11:24.200 --> 01:11:31.600
you don't know impositions just

01:11:34.700 --> 01:11:35.100
una decisions

01:11:41.400 --> 01:11:45.600
despacito

01:12:02.600 --> 01:12:06.100
neono intermedio Pokemon here

01:12:13.500 --> 01:12:14.800
Put offensa.

01:12:15.500 --> 01:12:19.400
Como se de romato soy Como

01:12:19.400 --> 01:12:19.800
persona.

01:12:20.500 --> 01:12:23.700
23 controller provid me

01:12:23.700 --> 01:12:24.400
come here.

01:12:38.200 --> 01:12:41.300
Los Hijos on proyeto De Vida de los

01:12:41.300 --> 01:12:41.700
Padre

01:12:44.300 --> 01:12:46.800
Los coyoto De Vida de la Padre

01:12:47.400 --> 01:12:49.300
No para, we will day you.

01:12:50.300 --> 01:12:53.500
See, no tambian paravel La realization de la Vida Deo

01:12:53.500 --> 01:12:55.900
Como Tu Como Padre.

01:12:57.700 --> 01:13:01.000
tiene to cijo Lugia Leanne Lee

01:13:00.600 --> 01:13:03.100
lady wedding

01:13:09.600 --> 01:13:12.300
Either repente en una tapa

01:13:12.300 --> 01:13:15.600
de la Vida es apersona D say, oh no

01:13:15.600 --> 01:13:18.200
quiero es a plan De Vida que tu Mi

01:13:18.200 --> 01:13:21.400
adado. Ami es a Noel que. Yo quiero quiero Este plan

01:13:21.400 --> 01:13:25.300
De Vida como un plan DaVita totalmente different

01:13:24.300 --> 01:13:28.000
aloke que una estado a como

01:13:27.200 --> 01:13:29.100
City Toyota control.

01:13:34.500 --> 01:13:37.000
And don't say no.

01:13:50.800 --> 01:13:51.200
Hey.

01:13:53.100 --> 01:13:53.900
he must

01:13:59.200 --> 01:14:00.200
identity Dallas

01:14:01.600 --> 01:14:03.500
Cannot roughly have you interior?

01:14:15.500 --> 01:14:17.500
airplanes construedo parami

01:14:18.300 --> 01:14:19.700
Nueva

01:14:25.900 --> 01:14:27.300
study another contractions

01:14:28.500 --> 01:14:30.300
economics extension

01:14:45.900 --> 01:14:48.900
many sprinted to screens. Yes, but I

01:14:48.900 --> 01:14:49.500
play creating me.

01:14:59.200 --> 01:15:00.800
I kissed Amazon Travis.

01:15:02.700 --> 01:15:05.100
your commander position para polar Vivir

01:15:09.700 --> 01:15:12.100
201 Camino

01:15:21.300 --> 01:15:22.300
despacito

01:15:23.500 --> 01:15:24.800
or American Osco

01:15:25.700 --> 01:15:27.300
Olay mpseguitar

01:15:32.400 --> 01:15:33.000
Florence

01:15:35.900 --> 01:15:40.400
yogasama parasimpri Santo, hola

01:15:40.400 --> 01:15:40.800
Vida

01:15:41.200 --> 01:15:41.800
Academy

01:15:44.500 --> 01:15:47.600
Latino como como

01:15:47.600 --> 01:15:48.100
yorigo

01:15:48.700 --> 01:15:49.800
Como okay.

01:15:50.800 --> 01:15:51.100
Okay.

01:15:54.200 --> 01:15:55.800
He cannot. Thank you.

01:16:04.400 --> 01:16:07.600
You see lamentablement that I need? Okay, we will

01:16:07.600 --> 01:16:10.200
see commemorado bien. Don't care

01:16:10.200 --> 01:16:15.800
the Western cuando. Se de Osceola Tech

01:16:14.800 --> 01:16:17.000
with alive in this.

01:16:20.800 --> 01:16:25.600
CSI de la decision is equivaliendo sobriety

01:16:24.600 --> 01:16:27.000
being located.

01:16:37.500 --> 01:16:39.500
Gracia porgal mesenor

01:16:40.300 --> 01:16:40.900
in

01:16:42.300 --> 01:16:44.900
love in this SEO the Selena

01:16:47.400 --> 01:16:48.100
Gomez

01:16:50.800 --> 01:16:54.400
Here you'll enjo.