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I love the theater. It
reinvents itself every night.

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I still get very excited
when the curtain goes out.

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What a great adventure.

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Well, thank you a lot and good evening.

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The half century of the Tony\'s has seen
on the Broadway stage the work of a

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remarkably brilliant cast of American
playwrights along with Arthur Miller to

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name just a few. Eugene O\'Neill, Tennessee
Williams, William Eng, Neil Simon,

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Edward Alby, August
Wilson, Wendy Wasserstein,

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Tony Kushner and Terrance McNally, and
the Tony Award for best play goes to,

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I can read it from here,
Terrance McNally\'s Masterclass.

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He\'s gone through so many ups
and downs. He\'s had wild success,

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but he\'s also had huge disappointments,
shattering disappointments,

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but he\'s still writing. I think
that\'s a test of character.

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Thank you.

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Terrance is able to get to the core
of the human condition in so many

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different ways.

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This isn\'t just an, this is your life.

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Well, he makes you laugh and cry and
turn on a dime in all different areas,

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and I defy you to name another
playwright who can do that.

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Nobody loves the theater
as much as Terence.

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I can contain the world of the Broadway
musical, get my hands around it,

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so to speak, be the master of one
little universe. Besides when I\'m alone,

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it gives me great pleasure to sing
and dance around the apartment.

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I especially like Big Spender from Sweet
Charity and I\'m going back where I can

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be me from be a ringing.

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I could never do this with
anyone watching, of course,

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even a boyfriend if I
had one, which I don\'t.

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Theater is just so
interesting. It\'s not easy,

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but it\'s how can you get bored working
with all these amazing people I work with

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and trying to make something beautiful,
meaningful and put it on stage.

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A big theme in my life is
mattering. Do I matter?

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I\'ve always had feelings of not
really approving or even liking my own

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work.

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I think it goes back to the push,
pull, push pull of my childhood.

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Sometimes I miss the smell of
the Gulf of Mexico, the heavy,

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heavy, humid night air.

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Terrance is my older brother.

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We lived in the same
bedroom for many years.

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Corpus Christi in the fifties
was a working class town.
There was oil industry,

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the board of Corpus Christi
farming the Naval Air Station.

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My mom was not a happy woman.

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She and my dad had a strained
relationship for many years.

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My father was a beer distributor
for the Slit Brewing Company.

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Alcohol was a big part of our family.

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There wasn\'t a day that
my parents weren\'t drunk.

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Peter and I would be sometimes hungry
at six o\'clock and my mother and her

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friends would be drinking.
We were sort of wet.

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Blankets on their lifestyle.

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My father would go into a rage sometimes
and he would just backhand my brother.

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I remember one night he literally
chased me through at least six,

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seven backyards of our neighbors

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and people were sitting out in their
patios having dinner and there\'s this guy

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chasing his son. And then
when he got me, he really,

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really hit me.

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My dad was a little bit

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in denial that he wasn\'t
out playing football and

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doing the other things the other kids did.

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Here\'s a teenager producing operas in
our garage. Friends would build sets.

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We had neighbors come by the
house. I\'d say, what\'s going on?

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My parents would go usually
once a year to New York.

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They always saw Broadway shows and
left the playbills on the counter.

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My father loved in South Pacific
kiss me, Kate and guys and dolls.

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So I knew what theater
was because of my parents.

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I\'m not going to dedicate
this to my mother,

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but I\'m going to dedicate it to my high
school English teacher, Maureen McElroy,

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and I grew up in a really shitty town

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and they know I feel that way about it. So

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I cannot imagine my life
without Mrs. McElroy.

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She\'s the first person I met
who got me, got my humor,

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got what I\'m smart about,
understood what I\'m not smart about.

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I thought she was just the
smartest person I\'d ever met.

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Terry, this is a piece of
work you should cherish.

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It is extraordinarily good
for a high school student.

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It has been interesting working with
you these two years watching with

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pride, your growth in perception and
your mastery of the writing techniques.

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It will also be with pride that I watch
your progress next year and the next,

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the next. At the present,

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your greatest weakness is
organization of material.

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Keep always the freshness
of your viewpoint,

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the honesty of your convictions.
Your integrity is your armor.

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I\'m glad you\'re planning
to write professionally.

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Writing is a highly competitive
occupation. It can be heartbreaking,

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but you have already learned that
if you must write, you simply must.

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And so my hope and my prayer go
with you in this life you\'ve chosen

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Mrs. McElroy A plus.

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Towards the end of her life,

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there was a revival of Frankie
and Johnny on Broadway.

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I flew her up first class and I put
her in the Dorothy Parker suite at the

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Algonquin Hotel.

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I will tell you one thing, I could never,

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not in a million years be seriously
involved with a man who says,

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pardon my French, all
the time, done, finished.

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You got where do you pick up an
expression like that out of respect for a

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person, a woman in this case, the
first time you said it tonight,

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I practically told you I had a
headache and had to go home. See,

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that is so scary that three
little words, pardon my French,

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could separate two people from saying
the three little words that would make

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them connect. What? Three little words.

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I love you.

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And then at the opening night,
she was the toast of the party.

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It\'s the best. Thank you. I think
I\'ve ever given another person.

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A gay guy in the fifties in south Texas.

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He would be very much in the closet
and when people found out he was gay,

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they beat the shit out of
him. No question about that.

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Growing up in South Texas, I had sex
with quite a few of my male friends.

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There was someone I met at school
and we had a pretty big affair.

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One day we skipped school to go see a
3D movie and then afterwards we went to

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this cave and we\'re having sex
and one of the classes we\'d

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missed had a field trip and they
were like a foot away from us

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and the teacher was telling them
about why these cliffs were formed.

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And I remember think we both
thought, boy, if we\'d been caught,

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that would\'ve changed our lives.

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But I grew up thinking the
minute I graduate high school,

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I would go to New York City
and I was accepted to Columbia.

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I was 17 and I went to the theater
easily two or three nights a week.

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I went to see my Fair
Lady. It had just opened.

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It was a huge hit and the
people at the box office said,

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you can\'t get a ticket for a year,
but if you really want to see it,

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there\'s a line that forms every night at
midnight and they sell standing room at

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10:00 AM for a dollar. So I said, okay.
I went on to see, I think 11 times

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my senior year.

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There was an announcement in the school
paper that no one had written the

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varsity show.

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It was a big event to go see these kids
put on a musical every spring. I said,

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I\'m going to write the varsity show.

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They paired me with Ed k Clayban who wrote
Chorus Line, and I remember thinking,

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this is kind of fun.

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I left Columbia educated but
fearful and I like to have left

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feeling educated and confident.

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It\'s an interesting thing about fear.

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Fear is the major
ingredient to creativity.

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I think it kickstarts everything.

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I knew I was going to be a writer and
the English department gave me an award

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and I went off to write a
novel and it just wasn\'t good.

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I knew what I wanted to do, but I
didn\'t sort of admit it to myself.

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It\'s kind of a presumptuous, almost
say, I\'m going to be a playwright.

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I\'m going to work in the theater.

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Edward Albe said the first time
he laid eyes on Terrance McNally,

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he saw the most beautiful face
he\'d ever seen in his life.

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I met Edward Albe at a party after a
performance of the Cradle Little Rock,

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a Mark Bechstein opera, and he said,
would you like to come up for a nightcap,

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which was not very
coded for you know what?

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And I said, I remember saying
this so spontaneous. I said,

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you sure your wife or family won\'t
mind? He looked at me like I was crazy.

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I just didn\'t think he was gay.

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Edward was the first boyfriend I ever
had, but we were just drunk all the time.

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We had a lot of fun and we had a
lot of fights and a lot of sex.

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I enjoyed being with Edward when
he was riding Virginia Wolf.

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He was the first really distinctive
voice since Tennessee Williams.

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We\'re very proud to welcome the most.
Talked about playwright in America,

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Mr. Edward Alby.

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Edward had a lot invested in
not being out and my first

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play, I was reviewed as a gay man.

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There seems to be an underlining

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theme in your plays

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concerned with marriage. Am I right?

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Yeah. Some people have said that.

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It\'s one of the things that seem
to concern the majority of people.

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Almost everybody who counts is
married except a few people.

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Some people are happy with it,
some people are unhappy with it.

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What do you think of it?

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I\'m single. I like it. I think it\'s fine.

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Those times were really, really,

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really difficult and frightening
for gay men and women.

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People really were mostly in the closet,

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but Terrance didn\'t have
any qualms about who he was.

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That was a rare thing. Then.

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Shortly after I graduated Columbia,

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I had this opportunity to work at
Actor Studio as a stage manager,

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and after a while, Molly Kaza said,

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would you be interested in traveling
around the world for a year with John

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Steinbeck? And I said, oh, like the
writer. She said, it is the writer.

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So I went and met John Steinbeck and
his wife Elaine and their two sons,

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and they said,

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we\'ve interviewed a lot of professional
tutors and we were trying to find

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somebody we\'d feel more compatible
with, and that\'s how we began the trip.

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Edward and I were still
officially a couple,

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but that says something
about our relationship that
I had this opportunity and I

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took it. John was a very, very
famous writer at that point.

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He was certainly known everywhere we went.

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His books have been translated
into every language.

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John and Elaine both had an appetite,
enthusiasm for art, for history,

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for the best people can
make of themselves, and that
was very inspiring to me.

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John said, let me give you one bit
of advice if you want to be a writer.

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And I said, yeah, what is it? And he
said, don\'t write for the theater.

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It\'ll break your heart.

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My.

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First play has hall passages
that are very all be influenced,

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as did everyone who was writing plays at
that time. Speaking in your own voice,

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realizing who you are is
a complicated process.

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I met Terrance when we did and
things go bump in the night.

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It\'s this exploration of the dysfunctional
American family and the parent

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ability to accept one another

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and it\'s the first Broadway
play with a positive, confident,

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openly gay character.

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I made a booking with the
Schubert\'s and before you knew it,

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people started buying tickets.

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There\'s nothing more exciting on
Broadway to have a show that\'s

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sold out on the previews and
then opening night came and

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boy, the critics just did not
embrace it and that was a shock.

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I thought, this is not a good way
to begin my life in the theater.

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Dear terror, my heart is sick today.

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There is no reason to anticipate
or to expect fairness from critics,

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but I don\'t think they have the
right of malicious mischief.

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Your play has faults. Of
course. So is King Lear.

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Elaine says that one
should not fight back.

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I myself think a punch
in the nose is healthier.

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There is no question
about what you should do.

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You should go immediately to work.

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Only the amateur can hide by
pretending he didn\'t mean it,

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but you did mean it and you
stirred up the wasps nest

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as for the plays failing.
Remember the old Texas saying,

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who ain\'t been throw ain\'t road?

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I can\'t think of anything else to
say, but I\'m very sad. Yours, John.

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Edward was very supportive of the next
generation of playwrights. He wasn\'t.

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I didn\'t feel supportive
of me as his partner.

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I found him withholding remote
ungenerous as much as I loved him.

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He also was those things.

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I\'m glad that we were able to become
friends again. We had a very unhappy,

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angry, bitter breakup. I mean,

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I left him and he was not amused.

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This is that old what
I save. I want save it.

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I love that one.

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Huh?

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What\'s that from?

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It\'s a Richard Avedon photo taken when
things had go bumped in the night open.

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Look.

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How young it look.

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Thanks.

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It\'s adorable. I sort of love but
hate this picture and you\'ll know why.

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Because I\'m smoking, correct?
Well, that was my apartment.

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Look what you got for $45.

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And it evokes so much.

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Booze, cigarettes.

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It\'s just what we know now.

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And this is outside the
Cherry Lane Theater.

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Yeah. I love this photo.

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A long time ago, so a lot of young
playwrights, that\'s Israel Horrowitz,

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Leonard Melfi, Jules
Pfeiffer, Robert Patrick,

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me, Jack Larson and Lanford Wilson.

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You.

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Look at my hair in all
these pictures. Good.

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Oh God.

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My second partner was also a huge
drinker. Robert Drive is the actor.

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Really odd question.

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Edward had been kind of inscrutable
person. Bobby was quite the opposite.

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Every feeling he had was on the table.

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I don\'t give up that easily.

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That\'s right. You don\'t.

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I didn\'t made it work or smashed.

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It. I stopped smashing
things a long time ago.

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It was a very alcoholic
relationship, very tempestuous.

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We lived on Bleecker and 10th
Street and we had fights.

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You could have heard here on 42nd Street.

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Bobby was a beautiful,

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physically beautiful man and
very bright and a lot of fun,

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completely charming.

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And usually got his way.

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The biggest tension always in our
relationship is that Bobby did not want to

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live together even though we spent
every night at his apartment.

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But he thought if the world knew he
was gay, maybe the end of his career.

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When people aren\'t willing to look
at the truth about who they are,

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I think it\'s going to corrode
their souls, their hearts.

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He started so early to show Americans who

19:01.255 --> 19:04.395
gay people are that we have
the same hopes, dreams,

19:05.015 --> 19:09.555
and struggles as everyone else.
Terrance did it before anyone else.

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He did it better than anyone else.

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I love Terrance McNalley.

19:14.075 --> 19:18.955
Terrance McNalley is one of the first
people that I came across as a gay man who

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was writing about gay people.

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We stand on his shoulders.

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I just had to walk 16 twice and steps.
I get to flirt with you all day. Yeah,

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yeah. I was looking forward to it.

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I feel so lucky to know Terrance
is a person and worked with him

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on two of his plays.

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People see his plays and I
want to live more fully and

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they want to live more truthfully
and they want to live more joyfully.

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It changed the way I go about the world.

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Okay, so this is a very, very, very cold
reading of Noon by Terrence McNally.

19:56.395 --> 19:58.315
He wrote this in 1968.

19:58.825 --> 20:02.635
What I found interesting was
it transported me to a time

20:04.285 --> 20:05.118
where

20:06.195 --> 20:10.835
Terrance is really cutting
edge and today we forget that

20:10.865 --> 20:13.355
because we\'ve just come so far.

20:13.415 --> 20:18.195
But when you think about the
character of Carrie and he\'s coming in

20:18.415 --> 20:20.435
and he\'s gay and he\'s out.

20:20.545 --> 20:21.378
With no shame,

20:21.505 --> 20:25.195
with no shame because Terrance writes
plays which have nothing to do with being

20:25.255 --> 20:27.915
gay, but everything to do
with not being accepted.

20:28.855 --> 20:33.715
Carrie is in done Asher\'s
belt unzipped his fly Asher\'s

20:33.845 --> 20:35.275
pants dropped to his knees.

20:36.415 --> 20:38.835
You can\'t get your pants off
with your shoes on. Dummy.

20:39.235 --> 20:41.995
I don\'t want my pants
off for Christ\'s sake.

20:42.515 --> 20:46.115
I just want to see you in your
shorts. I know. But guys are guys,

20:47.945 --> 20:51.045
the sexuality of noon,
like naughtiness of it.

20:51.425 --> 20:56.205
It was really sort of pushing
norms and ideologies to the

20:56.325 --> 21:01.165
breaking point. What do you
do? I\'m a writer. Figures, huh?

21:02.075 --> 21:03.005
What else do you do?

21:03.915 --> 21:04.745
What else?

21:04.745 --> 21:07.405
God exasperating in bed.

21:08.315 --> 21:12.325
What do you do in bed?
One of the fundamental

21:14.015 --> 21:18.285
ideas that Terrance has
addressed is sexuality.

21:18.625 --> 21:22.845
Is sexuality, whether it\'s
heterosexual or homosexual.

21:23.735 --> 21:27.325
We\'re all human. We all have
the same needs and desires.

21:28.225 --> 21:29.885
We all yearn the same way.

21:33.905 --> 21:37.805
In the sixties, there was a lot to
write about the civil rights movement,

21:37.985 --> 21:39.005
the war in Vietnam.

21:40.225 --> 21:45.165
My goal as a writer became to
write in my own voice and to find

21:45.245 --> 21:49.045
a kind of simplicity that was
about the character, not about me.

21:50.665 --> 21:53.605
My second play, which was
successful, was called Next,

21:53.605 --> 21:55.485
which I wrote for a friend James Coco,

21:55.485 --> 21:59.605
who I thought was this great actor and
I just didn\'t know why he wasn\'t more

21:59.605 --> 22:00.438
famous.

22:01.225 --> 22:04.575
Jimmy Coco used to complain
and say, I\'ll never be a star.

22:04.965 --> 22:08.655
I\'ll just be a character actor and maybe
one day I\'ll do death of a salesman at

22:08.695 --> 22:12.295
a regional theater and that\'ll
be it. And Terrence said,

22:12.845 --> 22:16.415
I\'ll write you a play.
And then he wrote Next,

22:16.835 --> 22:20.255
the one act play about the fat
middle-aged man who gets drafted.

22:20.395 --> 22:25.175
Elaine may directed it and it was a
big success off Broadway and May Jimmy

22:25.295 --> 22:26.128
a Star.

22:26.575 --> 22:30.575
I learned so much working with Elaine
because I learned nothing from my first

22:30.645 --> 22:33.935
play. I want an audience to
understand my characters.

22:33.935 --> 22:38.135
They might be troubled by them, want
to think about them a little longer,

22:38.915 --> 22:42.375
but if an says, I just don\'t
get it, I feel I have failed.

22:44.145 --> 22:48.685
My life in the theater
began in New York City with

22:48.685 --> 22:49.925
Terrance McNally.

22:50.705 --> 22:54.125
One of the first auditions I ever
went on was for Tommy Flowers.

22:54.785 --> 22:59.285
So I showed up and they said, no
appointment, no agent, no audition.

23:00.115 --> 23:04.645
Mary Abraham showed up in shorts and
sandals and the stage manager said,

23:04.645 --> 23:06.965
there\'s a guy out front, he
looks a little crazy to me,

23:07.105 --> 23:09.685
and he said he\'s going
to stay and wait. And.

23:09.685 --> 23:12.645
I was there for hours
and hours, no big deal.

23:13.065 --> 23:15.565
It was important and I had this.

23:15.725 --> 23:17.845
Wonderful attitude. I have to admit,

23:18.385 --> 23:23.085
we saw the last audition and the
stage manager said, that\'s it. Oh,

23:23.305 --> 23:26.925
by the way, should warn you that actor\'s
still out there sitting on the floor.

23:27.985 --> 23:31.565
The guy finally comes
out and he says, alright,

23:34.835 --> 23:35.885
give it his shot.

23:37.865 --> 23:42.485
He read one line, one line. We go, where
have you been? Yes, you have the part.

23:43.755 --> 23:47.845
There\'s a sense of competition and a
little bit of a gladiator in all the great

23:47.845 --> 23:48.678
actors. I think

23:51.015 --> 23:54.485
these actors bring a
humanity, a life, a joy,

23:55.605 --> 24:00.125
a mystery, so much stuff
that\'s not on those flat pages.

24:05.405 --> 24:08.605
I am not deprecating or
minimizing my own work,

24:09.665 --> 24:11.925
but theater is, to me, collaboration.

24:18.115 --> 24:19.845
It\'s hearing music you never dreamed of.

24:22.055 --> 24:26.895
Terrance wrote bad habits for me and I

24:26.895 --> 24:30.775
am eternally grateful
because he gave me a career.

24:31.575 --> 24:34.935
I wrote bad habits, got a
wonderful cast of actors,

24:36.045 --> 24:39.015
many of whom went on to become
very famous such as Doris.

24:39.635 --> 24:44.015
We did the play at the Manhattan Theater
Club and the set was Samsonite folding

24:44.015 --> 24:47.175
chairs. The lighting cues were
the overhead fluorescent lights,

24:47.175 --> 24:51.295
which I personally operated.
That play went really well.

24:51.955 --> 24:55.415
We moved it to Off Broadway and that
same production with those same eight

24:55.415 --> 24:57.335
actors moved to Broadway
to the Booth Theater.

24:57.955 --> 25:02.535
It had all happened within a year.
That was just bang, bang, bang.

25:02.595 --> 25:03.428
It was great.

25:06.395 --> 25:09.535
Now let\'s start at the beginning and
I\'ll try to keep it in layman\'s terms.

25:10.625 --> 25:14.695
Everything in life is bad
for you. The air, the sun,

25:14.995 --> 25:17.415
the force of gravity, butter, eggs.

25:17.685 --> 25:20.055
This cigarette right now,

25:20.205 --> 25:22.735
this very moment as I speak these words,

25:23.355 --> 25:26.335
you are 10 seconds closer to
death than when I started.

25:27.965 --> 25:32.815
Have I made my point now,
how would an ice cold,

25:32.985 --> 25:36.095
extra dry, straight up
Gordon\'s gin martini grab you?

25:39.155 --> 25:43.775
The first apartment I ever bought or
owned was some symbol of making it in

25:43.775 --> 25:48.415
New York. My father came in
and looked around and says,

25:48.975 --> 25:50.615
I would\'ve painted in
a much different color.

25:51.145 --> 25:53.655
There were times he did
acknowledge my work.

25:54.415 --> 25:57.775
I was also made to feel I wasn\'t
good enough. I didn\'t measure up.

25:58.755 --> 26:02.455
And then you finally figure out,
wait, I\'ve got to be who I am.

26:03.155 --> 26:06.575
Not letting other people decide
what a good play or a good son is.

26:07.635 --> 26:08.735
Did you get yourself something?

26:08.935 --> 26:11.415
I just got a little salad because I\'m
not doing bread right now because you\'re

26:11.415 --> 26:12.535
fat. I know fat. So.

26:13.555 --> 26:15.415
Don Ru, who I consider my best friend,

26:15.795 --> 26:18.175
he said that my parents were
a little frightened of me.

26:18.725 --> 26:20.295
When did you tell her that you were gay?

26:22.035 --> 26:24.175
Did you have that conversation
when you sat down? No.

26:24.475 --> 26:25.308
No.

26:25.755 --> 26:27.175
But you had to have introduced.

26:27.375 --> 26:27.815
Somebody.

26:27.815 --> 26:30.455
I think it was the last time my father
tried to get me to buy life insurance.

26:31.255 --> 26:35.615
I said, dad, gay, you know that
Edward, this is our bedroom.

26:35.785 --> 26:39.855
There was a bed straight. Men do not
sleep. How was he? Same bed together.

26:41.235 --> 26:42.068
How did he take it?

26:42.405 --> 26:46.765
Just stay in New York with your
lifestyle. Yeah, they were the original.

26:46.765 --> 26:48.845
Don\'t ask, don\'t tell \'em.
We\'ll all get along fine.

26:49.475 --> 26:52.445
There\'s a difference between not knowing
it and not wanting you to know it.

26:52.555 --> 26:53.388
Yeah.

26:53.665 --> 26:57.845
Oh, I\'ve several straight men who
don\'t know they\'re really gay.

26:58.885 --> 27:00.605
Starting with my father,
you were going to suggest.

27:01.385 --> 27:02.725
So I\'ve always wondered about him.

27:04.665 --> 27:05.498
The need,

27:05.545 --> 27:09.685
the passion to connect is
everything you could say.

27:09.905 --> 27:12.765
All theater people are
building surrogate families.

27:19.425 --> 27:24.125
If I had a wish it would be
that I was a part of a company

27:24.865 --> 27:28.485
and all we did was put on plays.
None of us wanted to make movies.

27:29.155 --> 27:31.205
None of us wanted to star
in television series.

27:31.635 --> 27:36.125
None of us wanted to be in shows by
anybody else. This was our company.

27:37.105 --> 27:39.405
We were the Globe Theater.

27:40.925 --> 27:42.405
Terrance can get very,

27:42.475 --> 27:47.245
very hurt by actors not being faithful.

27:47.705 --> 27:52.165
He gets huge crushes on
actors who have their own

27:52.715 --> 27:56.685
agendas and schedules and
commitments. He\'s intense.

27:57.315 --> 27:58.925
He\'s not unlike some of.

27:58.925 --> 28:00.125
These characters. Of course,

28:00.245 --> 28:02.525
I would\'ve been wonderful in
the part it was written for me.

28:02.535 --> 28:06.005
Thank God for my series.
As much as he loves you,

28:06.395 --> 28:08.725
there\'s a little
possessiveness about that.

28:08.835 --> 28:11.925
Love the egos in this business.

28:13.785 --> 28:18.765
One of the things that I love about
Terrance and that also terrifies me is

28:18.765 --> 28:23.245
that he\'s an absolute stickler for
punctuation and for the way his lines are

28:23.245 --> 28:25.725
meant to be read and what he\'s
hearing when he writes it,

28:26.105 --> 28:28.605
and I have actually been present not once,

28:28.605 --> 28:31.365
but several times when he has
gathered the company together,

28:31.425 --> 28:36.285
the actors to lecture them about
what his punctuation means.

28:37.005 --> 28:40.605
I don\'t like actors who add uhs ahs.

28:40.765 --> 28:43.885
I mean your nose si sobs gurgles.

28:44.445 --> 28:47.365
I know what a comma means. I
know what a semicolon means.

28:47.925 --> 28:49.085
I know what a dash means.

28:49.585 --> 28:53.685
He writes exactly what he wants on
the page and will stand up for it.

28:56.265 --> 28:58.565
For at least a couple of
years before the Ritz,

28:58.875 --> 29:01.405
nothing was happening for
me in terms of my career.

29:02.325 --> 29:06.605
I ran into James Coco on the street
who asked me if I had received a script

29:06.605 --> 29:11.165
called The Tubs, which eventually
became the Ritz, and I said, the what?

29:11.905 --> 29:12.565
He said,

29:12.565 --> 29:16.725
Terrance McNally wrote this part for
you in a plate about gay Turkish bass.

29:18.165 --> 29:21.125
Lorraine. He tells me Lorraine, he says,

29:21.965 --> 29:24.725
Lorraine fucking weatherman.

29:25.665 --> 29:29.525
In this wild farce full of crazy people.

29:29.745 --> 29:33.285
The most sane person
was my character who was

29:34.575 --> 29:39.365
completely outrageously
gay and I think this was

29:39.625 --> 29:43.605
why the play was written. Terrance
was way ahead of his time.

29:44.025 --> 29:48.285
As strange as it may seem, no one is
going to attack you. Someone already has

29:49.925 --> 29:50.758
beginner\'s luck.

29:50.905 --> 29:53.365
The roots was pretty shocking, really.

29:55.285 --> 29:59.045
I think that everybody who saw
it was sort of taken aback.

30:01.835 --> 30:06.485
When the Ritz opened in
Washington DC We got murdered.

30:07.865 --> 30:11.965
We got murdered just lacerated.

30:12.675 --> 30:17.565
They hated it. They didn\'t think it
was funny. They thought I was horrible.

30:18.025 --> 30:18.858
And the winner.

30:20.675 --> 30:23.245
When we got to New York,
everybody loved it.

30:25.435 --> 30:30.365
Rita Marina getting the Tony was the.

30:47.865 --> 30:51.385
I had been involved with two men
and one was convenient to them.

30:51.985 --> 30:55.585
I was invisible. Edward
was never proud to say,

30:55.585 --> 30:59.985
and this is my partner and
Bobby didn\'t know me at a movie

31:00.065 --> 31:02.825
premiere or a business situation.

31:07.725 --> 31:11.155
Bobby wanted to be successful
more than he wanted anything,

31:11.935 --> 31:16.145
and I wanted to be in love more than I
wanted to be a successful playwright.

31:16.425 --> 31:17.705
I wanted to be in a good relationship.

31:18.945 --> 31:23.185
Terrence was in London doing
a movie version of the Ritz,

31:23.185 --> 31:25.065
which was being directed
by Richard Lester.

31:26.105 --> 31:28.585
A friend of mine who worked for
William Morris called me and he said,

31:28.965 --> 31:31.945
I\'d love it if you could go to an opera
with him one night. And I said, sure.

31:33.625 --> 31:35.345
I wasn\'t expecting anything romantic.

31:35.925 --> 31:38.105
The door opened and there
was Terrance McNally.

31:38.765 --> 31:42.265
And we sort of got together right away
and then he ended up coming to New York.

31:43.045 --> 31:47.465
And talk about kindness. I
mean every penny of my tuition.

31:47.705 --> 31:51.905
I went to Columbia, got my masters
at Columbia Terrance paid for. When.

31:51.905 --> 31:55.665
Dominic and I met, I was
drinking my most heavily.

31:56.425 --> 31:59.265
I was just drunk all the time
and Dominic doesn\'t drink at all.

32:00.835 --> 32:01.705
Terry told me.

32:02.095 --> 32:05.425
They used to think I was a good playwright
and I convinced myself I was a good

32:05.425 --> 32:09.985
playwright. He says one time I woke up
and I hadn\'t done any work in 18 months,

32:10.445 --> 32:12.065
but I was drinking a
quarter of scotch a day.

32:12.935 --> 32:16.425
When I met him in 1982, he
kind of run out of steam,

32:16.685 --> 32:20.665
run out of friends in New York, I think
were upset with him about his drinking.

32:21.545 --> 32:26.225
I was at a birthday party for Stephen
Sondheim and I was drunk as usual,

32:26.645 --> 32:30.625
and I spilled my drink on Lauren
Baca and she tore me a new one.

32:31.785 --> 32:35.545
A few minutes later, Angela Lansbury
came up to me and said, Terrence,

32:35.545 --> 32:36.465
can I talk to you a second?

32:37.125 --> 32:39.845
It was a hell of a thing
to take upon myself,

32:39.945 --> 32:44.925
but I had had so much
experience with my own children

32:45.295 --> 32:49.565
being decimated by drugs and booze

32:50.305 --> 32:53.085
and I thought, here\'s this
brilliant, beautiful young man.

32:53.265 --> 32:57.965
His life is just going to go down
the drain unless he takes charge

32:58.225 --> 33:02.085
of himself. He\'s the only
person I\'ve ever done this to.

33:03.675 --> 33:05.515
I said to him,

33:09.015 --> 33:10.955
why are you destroying yourself?

33:13.175 --> 33:17.235
You are a brilliant writer. Listen,

33:17.895 --> 33:22.185
listen to what I\'m saying. Stop drinking.

33:23.845 --> 33:28.665
She was so gentle and loving
about it as opposed to Lauren Beca

33:28.685 --> 33:33.385
who was angry and I\'m going to send you
the bill from the dry cleaner and made

33:33.385 --> 33:34.745
me feel like a bad boy.

33:35.925 --> 33:39.865
Angela Lansbury made me feel
like someone cared about me.

33:42.335 --> 33:45.865
Dominic was really the
steadying influence in my life,

33:47.285 --> 33:52.105
and then one day he just sort
of burst into tears and he said,

33:52.205 --> 33:54.145
I\'m in love with someone else.
I\'ve been having an affair.

33:55.225 --> 34:00.225
I told him I love him and
I can\'t not be with him.

34:00.745 --> 34:02.625
I have to be with him. I was.

34:03.095 --> 34:07.385
Shocked. I was angry.

34:09.745 --> 34:14.065
I felt stupid. I felt really stupid.

34:16.405 --> 34:20.385
How could I have not have been aware of
the person you\'re sleeping with every

34:20.385 --> 34:24.385
night that they\'re in
love with someone else?

34:27.945 --> 34:32.585
Terrance was broke. He had
just broken up with Dominic.

34:33.605 --> 34:38.305
He was very newly sober and he had kind
of crashed and burned with the play

34:38.785 --> 34:42.025
Broadway. Broadway, which didn\'t come to
New York and it was a big, big career.

34:42.025 --> 34:46.145
Disappointment. He had kind of
run into a wall, but he said,

34:46.175 --> 34:50.945
it\'s okay because I\'ve got a great
idea for a brand new play. And I said,

34:50.975 --> 34:52.025
okay, what\'s it about? He goes,

34:52.025 --> 34:55.345
this is about a short order cook and a
waitress and they\'re one night together.

34:55.805 --> 34:59.825
And I thought to myself, that\'s
a terrible idea. Oh my God.

35:00.185 --> 35:01.025
I think of frankly, and Johnny,

35:01.145 --> 35:03.865
I wanted to make romantic
figures out of ordinary people.

35:05.065 --> 35:07.105
I was 40 not in a relationship,

35:07.485 --> 35:12.305
and I went to the video rental place and
there was a big line and I realized all

35:12.305 --> 35:16.025
these people are going to
spend the weekend alone in
their apartment eating junk

35:16.025 --> 35:18.625
food, watching 10 movies, and I said,

35:18.925 --> 35:21.545
I\'m not the only one in
the world who feels lonely.

35:22.285 --> 35:24.905
That\'s where I got the idea
for Frankie and Johnny,

35:26.685 --> 35:28.665
and then of course
there\'s that scary thing.

35:29.085 --> 35:31.585
Am I going to be able to write sober?

35:33.975 --> 35:37.845
I want to kill myself sometimes when I
think that I\'m the only person in the

35:37.845 --> 35:38.678
world

35:39.705 --> 35:44.365
and that part of me that feels that
way is trapped inside this body

35:46.055 --> 35:50.425
that only bumps into other bodies
without ever connecting to the only other

35:50.425 --> 35:53.385
person in the world
trapped inside of them.

35:54.845 --> 35:58.625
We have to connect. We just have to.

36:03.055 --> 36:07.835
It\'s like the plant that
insists on finding the light

36:07.835 --> 36:12.315
through the cracks in the sidewalk.
People will search for that connection.

36:13.175 --> 36:16.715
You still want a sandwich before you
go? Yeah, I still want a sandwich.

36:16.995 --> 36:18.995
Then you\'re going, you\'re
not staying over. Well,

36:18.995 --> 36:21.275
we\'ll cross that bridge when we
get there is no bridge to cross.

36:21.945 --> 36:26.915
What are you scared? I\'m not scared.
I\'m not scared. Yes you are. Well,

36:27.015 --> 36:28.075
not like in a horror movie.

36:28.475 --> 36:30.995
I don\'t think you\'re going to pull out a
knife and stab me if that\'s what you\'re

36:30.995 --> 36:33.835
talking about. You can just
subject, what do you mean? Come on,

36:33.835 --> 36:36.395
you\'re going to stand there and tell
me you\'re not weird. Who\'s some weird,

36:36.395 --> 36:38.555
there\'s a whole other side of
you. I never saw it before. Well,

36:38.555 --> 36:39.835
what\'d you think? All I did was cook.

36:39.835 --> 36:42.555
There\'s a whole other side of you I
never saw. Were doing it either. Well,

36:42.815 --> 36:47.115
that\'s because it\'s probably your
first time passionate and imaginative.

36:47.225 --> 36:48.058
Love them.

36:49.895 --> 36:51.915
At last. I get to see you and talk to.

36:51.915 --> 36:52.235
You.

36:52.235 --> 36:56.955
I know to think that we both sat and
memorized these lines and worked on them

36:57.055 --> 37:01.955
and dealt with blocking and had
opening nights and of the same stuff

37:02.055 --> 37:03.715
to very different people,

37:03.715 --> 37:07.955
different times in our lives and different
productions, but it\'s all Terrance.

37:08.295 --> 37:09.355
Did you ever really got it from me?

37:09.455 --> 37:12.955
Did you think you were attractive growing
up? I never thought I was attractive.

37:13.135 --> 37:13.745
No.

37:13.745 --> 37:18.715
Feeling like kind of the outsider and
not quite knowing how to connect and all

37:18.715 --> 37:19.225
that stuff.

37:19.225 --> 37:19.515
Yeah.

37:19.515 --> 37:22.675
What a drag and what a nice discovery
late to find out that I\'m terrifically

37:22.675 --> 37:23.335
attractive.

37:23.335 --> 37:25.035
Yes, yes, absolutely. I\'m with you.

37:25.035 --> 37:25.868
On that Late than never.

37:25.975 --> 37:27.395
Oh my God. Absolutely.

37:27.485 --> 37:28.915
How\'d you feel about
taking your clothes off?

37:28.935 --> 37:30.235
Was that the first time you did it?

37:30.305 --> 37:33.315
Yeah, it was. I was nervous as hell.

37:34.095 --> 37:38.395
The nakedness in Frankie Johnny
isn\'t just physical. I mean

37:40.185 --> 37:43.835
they clearly on some
level want to connect,

37:44.025 --> 37:48.875
want to have someone
see their insides though

37:48.875 --> 37:50.555
there\'s so much fear
attached to that as well,

37:50.735 --> 37:52.875
and I think that\'s what the play\'s about.

37:53.255 --> 37:54.195
He really, he.

37:54.195 --> 37:54.945
Can write.

37:54.945 --> 37:55.778
Yeah.

37:56.665 --> 38:00.235
I\'ve never used nudity in the
theater for a salacious reason.

38:00.995 --> 38:02.995
I think it\'s meaningful and natural.

38:04.195 --> 38:08.915
I go to the theater to see
characters strip themselves of their

38:09.105 --> 38:12.195
secrets to let us see into their hearts.

38:14.775 --> 38:15.875
In 1985,

38:16.125 --> 38:21.075
Bobby drivers came to my house
and he looked very ill and he was

38:21.105 --> 38:23.275
very thin and very, very weak.

38:24.255 --> 38:26.755
It wasn\'t like you turned
the page and it\'s at aids.

38:27.615 --> 38:29.395
It wasn\'t that defining moment.

38:29.855 --> 38:33.835
The more defining moment was
when a friend of yours was sick

38:34.855 --> 38:36.685
and you saw it firsthand.

38:39.525 --> 38:43.325
I had several friends including Bobby
Drive, who died in such solitude.

38:43.605 --> 38:48.285
They were so ashamed of having
aids of being gay that made me more

38:48.925 --> 38:50.725
militant than ever about being out.

38:51.905 --> 38:53.245
All lovers young,

38:54.745 --> 38:58.925
all lovers must consign
to thee and come to dust.

39:02.225 --> 39:03.245
You know what\'s really terrible?

39:03.565 --> 39:08.245
I can\'t think of anything terrific
to say in my own words. I mean,

39:09.985 --> 39:11.325
and I\'m the writer in the family.

39:15.405 --> 39:16.238
Goodbye.

39:18.695 --> 39:19.528
I love you.

39:22.365 --> 39:25.505
My first show on Broadway
was in 1958. I was seven.

39:26.265 --> 39:29.065
I got to know Terrance when they
needed kids at the actress studio.

39:30.055 --> 39:34.865
I\'ve always characterized Terrance\'s
characters as intensely vulnerable

39:36.365 --> 39:38.785
but fierce in their appetites,

39:38.965 --> 39:43.145
in their expression of their
needs and their angers,

39:43.275 --> 39:45.025
their feelings, their prejudices.

39:45.505 --> 39:47.585
I think Andre prefers
keeping me in the dark.

39:49.305 --> 39:50.138
I doubt that.

39:51.965 --> 39:53.505
He never tells me anything important.

39:54.765 --> 39:56.185
Do you ever ask him anything important?

39:57.105 --> 40:01.865
I wouldn\'t get a straight
answer if I did. Sorry.

40:03.165 --> 40:03.998
Why don\'t you try?

40:06.595 --> 40:08.825
Maybe there\'s some things
I just soon not know.

40:09.845 --> 40:14.585
To my mother\'s dying day, I don\'t
think she really understood my brother.

40:16.085 --> 40:19.425
She would always be the life
of the party in New York,

40:20.125 --> 40:22.665
but when Terry would come
home to Corpus Christi,

40:23.005 --> 40:27.585
he was kind of sequestered or cloistered
because she didn\'t want her friends

40:28.005 --> 40:29.865
to realize that he might be a gay man.

40:33.605 --> 40:38.025
The great thing about Terrance
is that he\'s really supportive of

40:38.525 --> 40:42.585
the new, and I was a young
playwright. He came to my first play.

40:43.145 --> 40:47.945
I remember just not knowing anything
and Terrence was extremely generous and

40:48.425 --> 40:52.385
encouraging. He made it easy
to feel that you were a peer.

40:53.505 --> 40:55.625
I still try and remember
this lesson to this day.

40:56.065 --> 40:58.585
A lot of theater people are lazy.
They don\'t go to enough plays.

40:58.975 --> 41:02.025
They don\'t know who the
new talents they talent is.

41:03.285 --> 41:06.825
Why live in New York City and not take
advantage of everything that\'s out there?

41:08.285 --> 41:11.105
I\'d have no career if it
wasn\'t for Terence McNally.

41:11.575 --> 41:13.785
When it comes to Terence McNally tributes,

41:14.085 --> 41:16.545
I\'m pretty much on speed
dial for the tri-state area.

41:21.255 --> 41:22.225
It\'s not surprising.

41:22.485 --> 41:26.225
We have a unique relationship
in the American theater
that began with the Lisbon

41:26.595 --> 41:28.345
Trata back in 1989,

41:28.345 --> 41:31.625
right up to last season\'s Broadway
revival of its only a play.

41:31.885 --> 41:34.925
Please understand that
even after all these years,

41:35.035 --> 41:38.365
it\'s not hard to find nice things
to say about Terrence McNally.

41:38.395 --> 41:42.845
He\'s a brilliant writer and
a wonderful man. Although

41:46.345 --> 41:50.165
yes, he\'s nice, but he\'s not that nice.

41:53.165 --> 41:57.765
I am not going to pull any punches.
He has done hard time in the slammer.

41:58.435 --> 42:00.245
Obviously he has killed people.

42:04.835 --> 42:07.845
When I wrote this shit, I didn\'t know
it would be for an opera society.

42:11.405 --> 42:15.405
Terrance and I met around 1987
at the Manhattan Theater Club.

42:17.075 --> 42:19.965
They were doing Frankie and
Johnny in the smaller theater,

42:20.705 --> 42:25.325
and I was doing a play on the main
stage that was not going very well.

42:26.605 --> 42:31.045
I went and sat outside in the lobby
and I think I had my head in my hands

42:32.065 --> 42:36.405
and Terrence saw me and came up to me
and introduced himself and said, hi,

42:36.405 --> 42:37.445
I am Terrace McNally.

42:38.595 --> 42:40.955
Remember I saw you in the lobby
of the theater. That\'s right.

42:41.135 --> 42:42.915
And you were upset with
the play you were in.

42:43.415 --> 42:43.875
Yes. I.

42:43.875 --> 42:45.115
Said, I\'ll write a play for you one day.

42:45.135 --> 42:49.235
And then when we couldn\'t
cast Elizabeth Ravita, I said,

42:49.365 --> 42:52.435
let\'s bring in Nathan Lane. They all
said, oh, he\'s too young. He\'s great,

42:52.575 --> 42:55.435
but he\'s 20 years too young for
the whole. I said, I don\'t care.

42:55.435 --> 42:59.675
And then you read three words and
I remember you said, should I stop?

42:59.695 --> 43:03.515
And then we said, no, go on. And you read
the entire phone call, which is what?

43:04.105 --> 43:06.555
15 minute tour to four. So

43:08.335 --> 43:09.995
God on many plays we\'ve done since.

43:10.655 --> 43:14.235
He was really the first person who
said, you\'re more than just funny.

43:14.235 --> 43:15.475
You\'re in it. You\'re an actor.

43:17.375 --> 43:22.355
Lisbon Ravita was about my
obsession with Maria Cos

43:22.685 --> 43:24.635
opera had a sense of betrayal.

43:26.115 --> 43:29.835
I wanted to write a play in which a
man rather than lose the man he loved,

43:29.895 --> 43:31.195
killed him, stabbed him.

43:33.255 --> 43:38.155
It was incredibly witty and
brave like Beckett. It\'s funny,

43:38.215 --> 43:39.048
and then suddenly.

43:39.065 --> 43:43.755
Life is not so funny. There was one
performance where suddenly a woman

43:45.965 --> 43:49.595
stood up and shouted from
the back, where\'s the plot?

43:50.195 --> 43:54.475
I want some plot. And stormed out of
the theater and Nathan said, well,

43:54.475 --> 43:57.795
stick around and you\'ll
see. I remember the.

43:57.995 --> 44:02.285
Audition for Lisbon Ravita. Joey said,

44:02.285 --> 44:05.285
I hate to ask you to do this,
but will you take your shirt off?

44:05.525 --> 44:09.125
Of course I had to show up
naked and I said, yeah, sure.

44:09.385 --> 44:13.085
You made your debut debut in New
York City, York Stark, naked,

44:14.065 --> 44:15.525
and you were great lines, great jokes.

44:15.665 --> 44:19.965
You were so wonderful in it and you
weren\'t just eye candy in the play by any

44:20.085 --> 44:22.645
means. You\'re kind of
the hero of the, I mean,

44:22.655 --> 44:27.245
there is another way of living and
you and Mike are uncomplicated.

44:29.795 --> 44:34.085
It\'s wonderful to be here to give an
award tonight to my very close friend,

44:34.085 --> 44:35.085
Terrance McNally,

44:35.085 --> 44:40.005
because lives Together is a wonderful
play and also because Terrance has more

44:40.155 --> 44:44.325
anxiety about writing a play
than any writer. I know Terrance,

44:44.325 --> 44:48.725
before sitting down to write a play,
does all his mail, pays all his bills,

44:49.695 --> 44:53.165
tries to listen to every CD in his
house that he hasn\'t listened to,

44:53.175 --> 44:54.965
which is quite a bit to do.

44:55.625 --> 44:59.645
He then works up his anxiety and
begins thinking, Lynn Meadow hates me.

44:59.905 --> 45:02.125
The William Morris Agency hates me.

45:02.865 --> 45:06.965
My mother doc from Texas hates
me. Nathan Lane hates me.

45:07.235 --> 45:11.205
What am I going to do? And then at
around four in the morning sweating,

45:11.265 --> 45:15.525
he begins writing a play. And inevitably
these plays are always wonderful,

45:16.145 --> 45:18.485
so I\'m very happy to give
you this award tonight too.

45:19.895 --> 45:23.085
Wendy was a student at Yale when
I was a playwright in residence,

45:24.705 --> 45:28.285
and I thought it was a very
talented, funny writer. I mean,

45:28.285 --> 45:31.885
everybody adored Wendy, just witty, smart,

45:32.995 --> 45:37.925
what was not to She came to New
York and pretty quickly she was in

45:37.925 --> 45:40.205
the vanguard of the next
generation of playwrights.

45:41.265 --> 45:43.525
We became just very good
friends, very close.

45:44.225 --> 45:48.045
She was someone I could call at any
hour of the day, laughing, talking,

45:48.435 --> 45:49.268
gossiping.

45:59.445 --> 46:01.205
I knew Terry and Wendy were friends,

46:01.665 --> 46:06.205
but one time I guess they thought we were
out of sight and she was getting a cab

46:06.265 --> 46:10.645
out in front of Terry\'s apartment and
he gives her the biggest romantic kiss

46:11.425 --> 46:16.245
and I was just like, wow,
he\'s got a girlfriend.

46:17.365 --> 46:19.085
I had seen

46:21.225 --> 46:24.885
the cost of being gay in the
eighties and I was like, suspicious.

46:25.865 --> 46:29.485
Do you just not want to be gay right
now? Because it\'s not the greatest time.

46:29.705 --> 46:31.365
But he did not see it that way.

46:31.745 --> 46:36.045
He truly had a love affair with Wendy.

46:38.395 --> 46:40.045
Some people aren\'t meant
to be together, I guess,

46:40.985 --> 46:44.965
but it took a few years to
figure that out. It ended,

46:45.425 --> 46:47.125
but I\'m glad we stayed. Great friends.

46:49.095 --> 46:50.725
Wendy was good at keeping secrets.

46:50.725 --> 46:55.165
People didn\'t even know that
she was not well. Her death was.

46:56.395 --> 47:00.325
It\'s just a shock to people. It happened.

47:00.345 --> 47:03.605
So not only was she young,
but it happened so suddenly

47:06.585 --> 47:10.595
it\'s just a terrible loss of a
vital, wonderful human being.

47:20.815 --> 47:24.515
It was the middle of winter, so
New York was so bleak and as usual,

47:24.755 --> 47:26.315
I was struggling financially.

47:27.315 --> 47:32.245
I heard from Lynn Meadow that Terrence
wanted to write a play for four

47:32.245 --> 47:35.925
of his favorite actors,
one of whom was me.

47:37.955 --> 47:42.685
Lips Together was about people living
in denial about cancer and infidelity

47:42.905 --> 47:47.045
and middle age and paranoia about aids.

47:47.875 --> 47:50.965
They all sort of agreed to do a play
that I hadn\'t really written yet.

47:51.785 --> 47:54.125
We were all much younger and
the world was a different.

47:54.125 --> 47:57.165
Place. I periodically called
Manhattan Theater clients.

47:57.455 --> 48:00.525
How\'s Terrance doing with that
play? He\'s still working on it.

48:01.235 --> 48:04.605
Waiting and waiting.
Finally, I got the call.

48:05.185 --> 48:09.125
So I got the script, got back on
the subway, started to read it,

48:10.505 --> 48:13.565
got home. I said to my
wife, this is terrible.

48:15.155 --> 48:19.485
This is terrible. I can\'t do
this. She said, you have to do it.

48:19.485 --> 48:20.318
He wrote it for you.

48:20.795 --> 48:23.285
Frankly, it was a blood bath.

48:24.345 --> 48:29.005
It was very raunchy and
I felt couldn\'t be played

48:29.665 --> 48:30.498
on the stage.

48:32.665 --> 48:37.525
We did the first reading and both
Christine and Nathan got very angry

48:37.525 --> 48:40.845
because they had been promised
rewrites. At one point.

48:41.395 --> 48:46.085
Tony threw the script across the
room and said, well, this will.

48:46.085 --> 48:50.445
Never work. This is the first
time in my career I ever did this.

48:50.845 --> 48:54.685
I actually spoke up and
very honestly to Terrance,

48:56.725 --> 48:57.345
I said,

48:57.345 --> 49:02.205
you\'ve put us in a position where I
don\'t know if we\'ll be able to reach that

49:02.365 --> 49:06.085
place where the play will
be ready. And it was scary.

49:07.605 --> 49:12.565
I just left to go to the
ladies\' room and Terrance saw me

49:12.565 --> 49:16.005
in the hall and he said, thank you
for that. I hear what you have to say.

49:16.205 --> 49:17.845
I heard what you have to
say. Thank you so much,

49:19.145 --> 49:21.885
and I will never forget
that as long as I live.

49:22.105 --> 49:24.765
And it\'s like he just went home and boom,

49:24.825 --> 49:27.365
it sprang out of his head
right onto the paper.

49:27.745 --> 49:28.805
It was just beautiful.

49:29.145 --> 49:33.085
One minute people are laughing and the
next minute it\'s like, oh, wait a minute.

49:33.385 --> 49:37.925
And it leads into my favorite thing
that Christine says to me and he says,

49:38.685 --> 49:41.605
I need to know the truth. And she
says the truth. Fuck the truth.

49:42.305 --> 49:46.885
The truth has hurt more people than
all the lies they were ever told.

50:07.145 --> 50:11.165
The idea of telling stories by singing,

50:11.605 --> 50:15.685
I think that\'s something Terra and I
shared from the moment we met each other.

50:20.155 --> 50:24.325
Fred and I were working with another
writer for the rink and it just wasn\'t

50:24.325 --> 50:28.925
happening. But when Terrence came
on board, the piece took a shift

50:30.425 --> 50:34.565
and we found ourselves
working in a wonderfully

50:37.665 --> 50:39.965
smooth, harmonious, interesting way.

50:40.265 --> 50:43.765
Gee, this is just our temporary
commercial of our new musical, the Rink.

50:43.955 --> 50:47.045
It\'s a story of a mother and the story
of a daughter and the roller rink.

50:47.045 --> 50:48.885
They call home the rink.
When we get a free minute,

50:48.885 --> 50:52.365
we\'ll do the real commercial
sets, singing costumes and lots of

50:57.745 --> 50:59.925
the rink was an extraordinary
experience for me.

51:00.805 --> 51:05.445
I remember seeing Terrance in the
back of the room on his typewriter,

51:06.205 --> 51:10.405
diligently changing things. That\'s
how the show becomes what it is.

51:10.825 --> 51:13.405
The words, the music, the steps,

51:14.065 --> 51:15.885
all the pieces have to fit.

51:17.305 --> 51:18.665
I think the rink is
one of the best pieces,

51:18.845 --> 51:20.305
one of the best things that we ever wrote.

51:22.365 --> 51:26.825
We loved the show. We
loved doing it every night.

51:27.245 --> 51:28.945
The audiences loved it,

51:29.285 --> 51:32.985
but critics said there were some
pretty startling and terrible things.

51:33.485 --> 51:36.865
Our reaction to the critics
was bewildered bewilderment.

51:37.385 --> 51:39.985
I don\'t think I ever
really quite got over that.

51:40.515 --> 51:45.185
We\'re so obsessed with hits
because no one likes a hit more

51:45.495 --> 51:48.785
than me, but they don\'t
happen that often. It\'s rare.

51:49.665 --> 51:54.625
I think our defense is just doing the
very best we can and doing the piece that

51:54.625 --> 51:59.025
we really love and screw it.
Otherwise, what are you going to do?

51:59.445 --> 52:03.465
So close your eyes and
you can be the movie star.

52:04.805 --> 52:05.985
Why must escape?

52:08.975 --> 52:12.025
Freddie and John called me
about Kiss of the Spider Woman.

52:14.485 --> 52:15.785
Boy, what a phenomenal show.

52:17.125 --> 52:21.025
It was written so magnificently.

52:21.845 --> 52:23.465
The nicest thing about being happy.

52:25.485 --> 52:30.245
You think you\'ll never be unhappy again.

52:30.985 --> 52:35.845
If there was a musical moment, Terrance
would usually write it in prose,

52:36.865 --> 52:39.445
the most gorgeous prose you\'ve ever read,

52:40.385 --> 52:45.285
and we would steal shamelessly lines and

52:45.565 --> 52:49.645
attitudes from those moments. He
seemed perfectly content with that.

52:50.905 --> 52:53.565
The first time I won a Tony, it was
the first time I been nominated,

52:53.785 --> 52:58.125
was Kiss of the Spiderwoman.
Winning awards does not change.

52:58.385 --> 53:03.165
The struggle to be an authentic person
who you are is still who you are.

53:03.165 --> 53:03.998
When you get home,

53:04.885 --> 53:08.385
you still have to face a blank
screen and start a new play.

53:09.075 --> 53:11.265
Thank you very much. This means a lot.

53:11.265 --> 53:14.305
To someone who grew up dancing
around the house to his parents,

53:14.945 --> 53:18.145
Broadway cast albums, other guys
were collecting baseball cards.

53:18.265 --> 53:19.385
I was doing too darn hot

53:24.975 --> 53:26.085
until I went to India.

53:26.805 --> 53:31.605
I think I\'d always experienced life
as the conflict between regret for the

53:31.605 --> 53:34.085
past and sort of a dread of the future.

53:36.625 --> 53:39.245
The minute I got off the
plane, I felt very small,

53:39.265 --> 53:42.085
but at the same time I
found that very enlarging.

53:44.645 --> 53:47.005
I had never heard of the God
Ganesha until I went to India.

53:48.565 --> 53:52.925
I love Ganesha right away because he
was humble and he believes in impossible

53:52.925 --> 53:56.045
things. He looks just like me, doesn\'t he?

53:58.325 --> 54:02.485
I am a God. My name is Ganesha.
I am also called Vin Shara.

54:03.065 --> 54:07.325
The queller of obstacles. To this
day before any venture is undertaken,

54:07.985 --> 54:12.165
IHA, who is invoked and whose
blessings are sought once asked,

54:12.705 --> 54:17.165
always granted I\'m a good
God, cheerful, giving,

54:17.775 --> 54:22.525
often smiling, seldom
sad. I am everywhere.

54:23.465 --> 54:26.285
I\'m in your mind and in the
thoughts you think in your heart,

54:26.435 --> 54:31.325
whether full or broken in your face
and in the very air you breathe.

54:32.385 --> 54:37.245
Inhale Samoa Ganesha. Exhale.

54:39.345 --> 54:40.178
Yo. So

54:45.765 --> 54:50.485
I am in what you eat and evacuate.
I am sunlight, moonlight, dawn,

54:50.585 --> 54:54.365
and dusk. I am stool. I am
your kiss. I am your cancer.

54:54.845 --> 54:58.725
I am the smallest insect that
crawls across your picnic basket,

54:58.825 --> 55:03.405
toward your potato
salad. I am in your hand.

55:04.035 --> 55:07.565
That squashes it. I am everywhere.

55:08.885 --> 55:11.885
I am happy. I am Ganesha.

55:16.905 --> 55:20.285
I\'m met Gary at a Play by Robbie
Bates, directed by Joe Mantello.

55:21.105 --> 55:23.965
And the person sitting next to
me said, I really enjoyed this.

55:24.265 --> 55:29.005
And he started talking about it
and that\'s how it sort of began.

55:31.195 --> 55:34.125
Gary was an angel.

55:35.465 --> 55:38.365
He was one of the great people.

55:39.265 --> 55:42.085
He had a kind of

55:44.475 --> 55:47.045
genuine, genuine goodness about him.

55:49.295 --> 55:50.705
That first night. I guess he said,

55:50.765 --> 55:54.465
I\'m HIV positive because
it was very scary.

55:55.165 --> 55:57.545
But I said, okay, I think
I can deal with that.

55:58.245 --> 56:02.585
And this was before people started
living long, successful, healthy lives.

56:05.945 --> 56:08.705
I think you\'ve come to look more and
more like each other over the years.

56:08.925 --> 56:11.265
You haven\'t known us that long.
Oh, it\'s not what he\'s saying.

56:11.985 --> 56:15.025
I think that you love
each other very much.

56:15.665 --> 56:18.385
I think you will stick it out, whatever.

56:18.785 --> 56:23.725
I think right now you\'re holding
hands that when Perry has

56:23.725 --> 56:26.805
to take his hand from yours,
Arthur to steer in traffic,

56:26.945 --> 56:29.165
he puts it back in
yours as soon as he can.

56:29.965 --> 56:33.965
I think this is how you always drive. I
think this is how you go through life.

56:34.835 --> 56:36.885
When I first read Love
of Valor Compassion,

56:36.885 --> 56:41.125
I knew that Terrance had gone
to now a completely new level.

56:41.965 --> 56:43.885
I believed in the play from the beginning,

56:44.265 --> 56:48.045
but I knew that we needed a
strong director to corral it.

56:48.885 --> 56:50.525
Terrence changed my life.

56:51.305 --> 56:52.925
In so many profound ways.

56:53.195 --> 56:56.845
I\'ve been watching his work for a
couple of years at the Director\'s Lab at

56:56.845 --> 56:57.678
Circle Rep,

56:58.105 --> 57:02.525
and I kept being impressed by the work
of this young guy called Joe Mantello.

57:03.495 --> 57:07.005
There were a lot of other directors that
they were meeting with who had a lot

57:07.035 --> 57:09.525
more experience and
would\'ve been the safer,

57:11.525 --> 57:12.885
probably wiser choice.

57:13.625 --> 57:16.445
So I sort of had to sell
him and they said, no,

57:16.445 --> 57:20.085
we insist you send the play to three
other Tony Award-winning directors.

57:21.025 --> 57:25.165
But the only one who experienced the
play as I wished it to be experienced in

57:25.165 --> 57:27.245
the theater by an audience was Joe.

57:28.395 --> 57:31.205
He\'s the person who said,
you should direct an opera.

57:31.865 --> 57:34.845
He made it a condition
of the sale of the play.

57:34.845 --> 57:39.325
Love valor that I direct the
film. He gave me my first musical.

57:40.445 --> 57:45.365
Terrence sort of makes me weep
just because he\'s got this thing

57:45.365 --> 57:50.285
that goes into that comes from his soul
and kind of goes into yours. It\'s very

57:53.405 --> 57:55.925
powerful. What\'s your secret?

57:56.705 --> 57:58.845
The secret of unconditional love.

57:59.345 --> 58:03.725
My brother smiled wanderly and shook
his head suggesting he didn\'t know Dear

58:03.725 --> 58:04.558
Spectators.

58:07.145 --> 58:11.565
And just then a tear started to
fall from the corner of one eye.

58:11.565 --> 58:15.845
This tear told me my brother
knew something of the pain I felt

58:16.705 --> 58:20.805
of never, ever not once being loved.

58:21.785 --> 58:26.085
The word was out that Terrance
had written this beautiful play,

58:27.035 --> 58:31.765
this big play about gay guys, friendship,

58:31.825 --> 58:36.125
family, love, loss. I hadn\'t
worked much in New York.

58:36.285 --> 58:40.605
I maybe had done a couple of off-Broadway
plays and in some ways I was scared

58:41.505 --> 58:45.005
at admitting to myself how
badly I wanted to get that part.

58:45.755 --> 58:48.205
John Glover, the wonderful actor,
has been in a lot of my plays,

58:48.995 --> 58:53.205
used to call it that period in
the spring Love Valor competition.

58:53.715 --> 58:56.125
When I read the script of
Love, valor, compassion,

58:57.405 --> 59:02.005
I don\'t remember how many pages it was.
I just remember it was like this thick.

59:02.425 --> 59:04.685
It was a real puzzle to figure out.

59:05.125 --> 59:09.845
A lot of the process was about editing
this script and whittling it down

59:09.915 --> 59:14.165
from this wonderful huge
evening to what it is now.

59:14.795 --> 59:18.085
Sometimes I\'m the last one to
understand what I\'ve written.

59:18.825 --> 59:21.445
We find the play together
in the rehearsal room.

59:22.505 --> 59:26.405
At one point a week or so before we
were about to go into the theater,

59:26.605 --> 59:30.445
Terrance said, I feel something is missing
for your character in the third act.

59:31.345 --> 59:35.805
And I said, maybe it\'s nothing more
than life isn\'t like a musical comedy.

59:36.075 --> 59:40.925
There\'s no guaranteed
happy ending. He said,

59:41.075 --> 59:42.645
okay. And he went away.

59:44.865 --> 59:48.605
And then Joe called me one
morning and said, well,

59:48.995 --> 59:51.525
he\'s written this scene
that\'s extraordinary.

59:52.065 --> 59:55.485
And it just knocked our socks off.

59:55.505 --> 01:00:00.125
And I remember Nathan like it was
yesterday, the first time he read it,

01:00:00.665 --> 01:00:02.125
he killed it.

01:00:02.775 --> 01:00:03.455
Beautifuls.

01:00:03.455 --> 01:00:03.805
Don\'t.

01:00:03.805 --> 01:00:03.965
All.

01:00:03.965 --> 01:00:04.205
Have.

01:00:04.205 --> 01:00:08.925
Happy endings either. Yes they do. That\'s
why I like them. Even the sad ones,

01:00:08.985 --> 01:00:13.085
the orchestra plays, the characters die.
The audience cries, the curtain falls.

01:00:13.385 --> 01:00:14.765
The actors get up off the floor,

01:00:14.865 --> 01:00:17.805
the audience puts on their couch and
everybody goes home feeling better.

01:00:18.265 --> 01:00:21.165
That\'s a happy ending.
Perry, once, just once.

01:00:21.925 --> 01:00:25.605
I want to see a West Side story
where Tony really gets it,

01:00:27.175 --> 01:00:28.245
where they all die.

01:00:28.305 --> 01:00:33.245
The Sharks and the Jets and Maria w Rat

01:00:33.245 --> 01:00:35.965
at Officer Crufty. What\'s he
doing? Sticking out of the theater.

01:00:36.025 --> 01:00:40.445
Get back here and die with everybody
else\'s hell of a fix or a king and I where

01:00:40.445 --> 01:00:45.045
you Brenner doesn\'t get up from that
little Siamese bed for a curtain call.

01:00:45.325 --> 01:00:50.205
I want to see a sound of music
where the entire VRA family dies

01:00:53.505 --> 01:00:56.645
in an authentic alpine avalanche.

01:00:57.725 --> 01:01:02.125
A kiss me tape where she\'s got
a big cold. So on her mouth,

01:01:03.205 --> 01:01:07.245
a funny thing happened on the way to the
forum where the only thing that happens

01:01:07.545 --> 01:01:12.005
is nothing and it\'s not funny.

01:01:12.945 --> 01:01:16.805
And they all die. Waiting, waiting,

01:01:17.435 --> 01:01:20.525
waiting for what? Waiting for nothing.

01:01:21.235 --> 01:01:24.805
Like everyone I know and
care about is including me.

01:01:25.185 --> 01:01:27.085
That\'s the musical I want to see, Perry,

01:01:27.305 --> 01:01:31.245
but they don\'t write musicals like
that anymore. In the meantime,

01:01:31.275 --> 01:01:33.485
gateway World, get off of my runway.

01:01:34.655 --> 01:01:36.145
It\'s side splittingly funny.

01:01:36.615 --> 01:01:41.425
It\'s angry and it\'s
devastatingly sad all at the same

01:01:41.425 --> 01:01:42.258
time.

01:02:01.005 --> 01:02:05.145
The only person who ever would be angry
at me for putting her in a play was my

01:02:05.145 --> 01:02:05.978
mother.

01:02:06.005 --> 01:02:10.865
And she said it after every play of mine
she saw including masterclass. Well,

01:02:10.925 --> 01:02:14.625
how you could put me up on stage
like that? And I said, mom,

01:02:15.225 --> 01:02:18.945
I really don\'t think anyone will
ever confuse you with Maria Colli.

01:02:21.635 --> 01:02:22.765
When I was still in high school,

01:02:23.365 --> 01:02:26.285
I fell madly in love with
the voice of Maria Coli.

01:02:33.105 --> 01:02:34.205
And then 30 years later,

01:02:34.485 --> 01:02:38.165
I was teaching playwriting in
Julliard and I saw a sign that said,

01:02:38.165 --> 01:02:40.765
masterclass Lantine Price, 4:00 PM

01:02:43.405 --> 01:02:47.405
I thought that\'s going to be
applied. Masterclass. Maria Thomas

01:02:49.105 --> 01:02:52.685
and I went home to do the
rest. Oh, I\'m on camera.

01:02:52.795 --> 01:02:55.925
It\'s Terrace de Valley speaking
to you from 45th Street.

01:02:56.925 --> 01:03:01.845
I wasn\'t an actress before
Masterclass confronting the hurricane.

01:03:01.845 --> 01:03:05.405
That is Zoe Caldwell on
stage. That\'s a force.

01:03:06.025 --> 01:03:10.925
And you either get up there and become
a hurricane yourself or you get blown

01:03:10.925 --> 01:03:11.758
off the stage.

01:03:12.505 --> 01:03:15.045
You all sink you so special.

01:03:16.905 --> 01:03:20.605
You are a dime a dozen.
There are hundreds.

01:03:21.025 --> 01:03:25.965
No thousands of you out there
auditioning, starving, going here, there,

01:03:25.995 --> 01:03:27.085
here and yarn.

01:03:27.945 --> 01:03:31.405
You expect people to remember
you if you don\'t have a look.

01:03:35.765 --> 01:03:37.805
I was never arrogant that way.

01:03:38.885 --> 01:03:43.765
I knew I needed a look and I got one. You.

01:03:45.225 --> 01:03:48.005
Yes you. And don\'t take this person.

01:03:51.345 --> 01:03:52.485
You don\'t have a look.

01:03:57.605 --> 01:04:01.625
You look very nice. I\'m sure
you are. You look very clean,

01:04:01.975 --> 01:04:06.625
very crummy of four, but you
don\'t have a look. Get one

01:04:09.005 --> 01:04:10.625
as quick as possible.

01:04:11.735 --> 01:04:14.785
It\'s much easier than
practicing your scales.

01:04:16.265 --> 01:04:19.625
I first heard about masterclass
from a friend of mine who told me,

01:04:19.685 --> 01:04:20.785
you should go on an audition.

01:04:21.945 --> 01:04:26.425
I was only a year and a half out of
Julliard and I would get so nervous

01:04:27.225 --> 01:04:32.185
I would pass out and wake up on the
floor and everybody else would be

01:04:32.185 --> 01:04:35.145
scared to death. And I\'d be like,
oh, I\'m fine. I\'m fine, I\'m fine.

01:04:36.185 --> 01:04:39.265
I remember Terrance and
Zoe, Caldwell being there,

01:04:39.405 --> 01:04:43.705
and I remember clutching the side
of the piano as I tried to sing

01:04:44.565 --> 01:04:49.465
and thinking, well, I\'ve blown this.

01:04:50.925 --> 01:04:55.185
And then Terrance took me
to lunch and he just kind of

01:04:55.545 --> 01:04:57.905
disarmed me in a way. Put
me completely at ease.

01:04:58.855 --> 01:05:03.035
You will believe women can
have balls, Sharon. Yes I do.

01:05:04.245 --> 01:05:06.875
There is daring you to show us yours.

01:05:08.985 --> 01:05:09.818
Will you do it?

01:05:11.335 --> 01:05:12.168
Yes.

01:05:21.365 --> 01:05:23.445
I was very excited to go see Masterclass,

01:05:24.185 --> 01:05:28.685
the revival in 2011 and Zoe
Caldwell and I went on a date

01:05:29.705 --> 01:05:32.405
and time was spectacular in the role.

01:05:33.145 --> 01:05:36.685
So what are you doing out here? Go
away. We don\'t want to see you yet.

01:05:38.625 --> 01:05:43.485
You want me to go off and come
back out? No, I want you to enter.

01:05:44.105 --> 01:05:48.795
You are on a stage. Use
it, own it. This is opera,

01:05:48.815 --> 01:05:52.235
not a voice recital. Anyone
can stand there and sing.

01:05:53.015 --> 01:05:55.475
An artist enters and is.

01:05:55.965 --> 01:05:59.795
She\'s jealous and competitive and sad and

01:06:01.375 --> 01:06:04.435
so many yummy things to act.

01:06:15.135 --> 01:06:18.275
Almost two decades later.
I find myself amazed.

01:06:18.275 --> 01:06:22.035
Every time I see a production of
Ragtime, it goes back to El Dr.

01:06:22.035 --> 01:06:25.315
Rose\'s novel and Terence\'s, amazing book.

01:06:26.015 --> 01:06:29.875
It continues to be so relevant.
Immigration, terrorism,

01:06:30.575 --> 01:06:34.955
the travails of Americans, how
we are constantly in change,

01:06:35.285 --> 01:06:37.875
constantly in turmoil. What was so.

01:06:37.875 --> 01:06:41.235
Beautiful about Ragtime is also
attributed to Terrance\'s work.

01:06:41.575 --> 01:06:44.155
Let me pass. That\'ll be $25.

01:06:44.625 --> 01:06:47.955
It\'s just making everybody look at how
different we are. But at the same time,

01:06:48.055 --> 01:06:49.995
we are all so similar. Her.

01:06:53.955 --> 01:06:56.795
I got a call to come in and
audition for Mother in rag time.

01:06:57.595 --> 01:07:02.555
I had read the script and I had
read the doctoral novel and I was so

01:07:02.555 --> 01:07:06.075
excited because it was Terence
McNally and I was a huge admirer.

01:07:06.075 --> 01:07:10.435
Of his plays. Marin just has one
of the most exquisite voices ever,

01:07:11.055 --> 01:07:12.515
and she\'s fearless.

01:07:13.415 --> 01:07:16.035
Mother did not have a song in Act two.

01:07:16.625 --> 01:07:20.995
That was a moment where she finally stood
her ground and became a woman who was

01:07:21.115 --> 01:07:22.275
stepping into the 20th century.

01:07:22.875 --> 01:07:26.035
Terrance would come up with
these flashes of brilliance,

01:07:26.035 --> 01:07:30.515
which would really lead us to the song,

01:07:30.515 --> 01:07:34.475
to the musical idea. He
wrote a beautiful speech,

01:07:34.475 --> 01:07:35.635
called Back to Before.

01:07:36.155 --> 01:07:40.875
Terrance said, I wrote something and he
handed me a manila envelope. He said,

01:07:40.875 --> 01:07:42.395
don\'t read it now, just take it with you.

01:07:42.815 --> 01:07:46.555
And I got in the cab by immediately
opened up this envelope and I read his

01:07:46.555 --> 01:07:48.555
monologue and I burst into tears.

01:07:49.615 --> 01:07:50.555
You were.

01:07:53.615 --> 01:07:54.448
My stars.

01:07:59.175 --> 01:08:01.195
It was the jumping off
point for the entire show.

01:08:22.875 --> 01:08:25.165
Gary seemed really very well.

01:08:27.185 --> 01:08:30.245
We did a bicycle tour of Cuba
and had a wonderful time.

01:08:31.185 --> 01:08:35.965
And we came back and the
very next morning he said,

01:08:36.265 --> 01:08:40.285
oh my God, I can\'t see right away.

01:08:40.585 --> 01:08:44.605
We went to the doctor and this
doctor was introduced as the

01:08:45.225 --> 01:08:49.565
doctor for the show of Iran
and Mrs. Onassis, Jackie,

01:08:50.345 --> 01:08:54.965
Jackie o. And I said to Gary,
that\'s not much of a recommendation.

01:08:54.995 --> 01:08:55.925
They\'re both dead.

01:09:01.445 --> 01:09:06.325
I got a call from Terrance
saying, if you\'d like to see Gary,

01:09:07.585 --> 01:09:08.965
you should probably come today.

01:09:10.985 --> 01:09:15.565
It was the first time that I ever
had to say goodbye to someone

01:09:20.115 --> 01:09:21.705
where it was really like, oh,

01:09:21.705 --> 01:09:25.225
this is the moment that
you get to say to someone

01:09:26.735 --> 01:09:30.145
what they meant to you and

01:09:31.975 --> 01:09:33.865
just say, I love you.

01:09:38.195 --> 01:09:43.135
We need people like Gary to
remind us that life is still

01:09:43.135 --> 01:09:47.535
good, that theater is still worth
doing, and that love, humanity,

01:09:47.585 --> 01:09:49.015
grace are still possible.

01:09:56.315 --> 01:09:58.775
If you thought about your
memorial, I\'ll think about mine.

01:09:59.995 --> 01:10:02.035
I got too much work to do before I die.

01:10:02.225 --> 01:10:05.515
Good for you. Well, I shouldn\'t
waste my time planning my,

01:10:06.795 --> 01:10:11.635
I most remember how excited
I was when I saw the normal

01:10:11.645 --> 01:10:12.275
heart.

01:10:12.275 --> 01:10:16.955
There\'s never ever been anything in
my lifetime quite like that theatrical

01:10:16.965 --> 01:10:21.715
event of a play that made people
want to jump out of their seat and

01:10:21.935 --> 01:10:25.555
run and do something active
about a horrible situation.

01:10:26.655 --> 01:10:28.715
And it had the most electrify.

01:10:28.745 --> 01:10:31.835
I\'ve never seen that
kind of cause and effect.

01:10:32.265 --> 01:10:34.195
Well, you were always in my mind,

01:10:35.655 --> 01:10:38.115
an amazing person because
as I said earlier,

01:10:38.415 --> 01:10:42.395
you were so productive and
I wasn\'t as a playwright

01:10:43.415 --> 01:10:45.275
and I admired that you

01:10:46.815 --> 01:10:51.715
worked so hard and so much and that
you wrote about gay stuff when so

01:10:51.715 --> 01:10:52.595
few people did

01:10:55.695 --> 01:11:00.675
and were successful with it. And you
also dealt with the politics of it.

01:11:00.695 --> 01:11:01.755
And Corpus Christi,

01:11:04.415 --> 01:11:05.955
you have a record to be proud of.

01:11:06.935 --> 01:11:11.235
You got to do something with your life.
Time is short matter. Do something,

01:11:12.135 --> 01:11:14.725
act. Stand up for something.

01:11:17.345 --> 01:11:18.178
In a lot of ways,

01:11:18.465 --> 01:11:23.325
art can move faster than society
Corpus Christi was out there in

01:11:23.325 --> 01:11:27.525
advance of lawyers and activists like me.

01:11:28.865 --> 01:11:30.285
For at least four years.

01:11:31.065 --> 01:11:35.165
We kept announcing that we were do
this play called Corpus Christi.

01:11:36.165 --> 01:11:38.525
Terrance was on fire in that period.

01:11:39.105 --> 01:11:43.125
His role at Manhattan Theater Club
was just seminal to our growth,

01:11:43.425 --> 01:11:44.258
to his growth.

01:11:44.755 --> 01:11:49.085
Very early on we got a group of great
actors and did a reading at Manhattan

01:11:49.085 --> 01:11:51.405
Theater Club. All of a sudden,

01:11:51.595 --> 01:11:55.485
this earnest little play was
thrust into the spotlight.

01:11:56.905 --> 01:12:01.565
The incredible hysteria when
Corpus Christi was first performed

01:12:01.705 --> 01:12:05.325
was kind of an early symptom of what
would come later in the fight for marriage

01:12:05.565 --> 01:12:06.398
equality.

01:12:06.425 --> 01:12:11.005
And God saw everything that he
made and behold it was very good.

01:12:11.845 --> 01:12:13.605
I enclo scripture as well as the next man.

01:12:15.065 --> 01:12:18.125
God loves us most when we love each other.

01:12:19.215 --> 01:12:22.395
We accept you and we bless
you. Now who\'s got to read.

01:12:23.115 --> 01:12:27.195
A controversial play is sending shock
waves from New York City across the whole

01:12:27.275 --> 01:12:27.945
country.

01:12:27.945 --> 01:12:31.715
When a theater announced it would be
performing a non-biblical depiction of a

01:12:31.775 --> 01:12:34.595
gay Jesus Christ character,
it got death threats.

01:12:35.095 --> 01:12:38.715
You have to be brave to
write a play of spiritual

01:12:40.435 --> 01:12:43.635
substance. It\'s a
dangerous thing. Manhattan.

01:12:43.635 --> 01:12:48.075
Theater Club undertook to do the
Corpus Christi and then they abandoned.

01:12:48.135 --> 01:12:49.955
It because of pressure.

01:12:50.395 --> 01:12:55.315
I had asked Terence to postpone his play
for a year because I felt that the play

01:12:55.315 --> 01:12:56.475
needed to have more of work.

01:12:56.855 --> 01:12:58.355
In our 25 year history,

01:12:58.615 --> 01:13:02.995
we have never censored a play nor
turned to play down because of content

01:13:04.295 --> 01:13:06.195
in the face of these accusations,

01:13:06.775 --> 01:13:10.875
we took steps to further evaluate what
has always been the only issue for us

01:13:11.415 --> 01:13:12.875
safety and security.

01:13:13.835 --> 01:13:17.355
MTC said, we\'re going to have to cancel
this, and I said, well, before you do,

01:13:17.435 --> 01:13:19.235
I think you should
think long and hard. We.

01:13:19.235 --> 01:13:23.595
Think it\'s incredibly important
to tell fts and crazy people

01:13:24.025 --> 01:13:27.875
that in New York City freedom
of expression is sacrosanct.

01:13:28.825 --> 01:13:29.545
Finally,

01:13:29.545 --> 01:13:34.395
they opened the play under vigorous
security and it was a very hot ticket

01:13:34.395 --> 01:13:36.035
through the entire length of the run.

01:13:37.425 --> 01:13:42.075
Even though the controversy kind
of overwhelmed the actual play,

01:13:43.895 --> 01:13:48.075
but as an artistic experience,
a moment in my life,

01:13:48.185 --> 01:13:50.115
it\'s one of my things I most treasure.

01:13:51.325 --> 01:13:54.785
Now, if you\'re a cobbler
by your hundredth shoe,

01:13:55.245 --> 01:13:58.625
you know how to make a shoe work, but
it\'s not the same thing with a play.

01:13:58.885 --> 01:14:01.585
It keeps you young and fresh and humble,

01:14:02.085 --> 01:14:06.185
but it also I think prevents you
from ever thinking, I\'ve got this.

01:14:07.555 --> 01:14:11.245
Every play is precarious. Will this live?

01:14:11.635 --> 01:14:13.485
Will this take on its life?

01:14:14.075 --> 01:14:17.365
There\'s a lot at stake for him
and Terrance loves that challenge.

01:14:18.795 --> 01:14:22.285
They may not be young, they may not be
pretty, they may not even be very good,

01:14:22.345 --> 01:14:25.125
but tonight for one night only they here,

01:14:25.795 --> 01:14:30.485
they\'re life and they\'re
going for no less than

01:14:30.665 --> 01:14:32.365
the full Monte.

01:14:33.875 --> 01:14:37.965
This is such a gritty real story and
I would talk to Terrance and say,

01:14:37.965 --> 01:14:40.765
these are not performers. These are guys.

01:14:41.725 --> 01:14:46.645
I wonder if we can do a naturalistic
musical in which nobody seems to be

01:14:46.695 --> 01:14:50.525
performing so that the music and

01:14:51.745 --> 01:14:56.725
the dialogue just simply
flow together and by God

01:14:56.725 --> 01:14:57.558
we did.

01:14:58.085 --> 01:15:02.325
I was in a prep school and my first play
that I did was next by Terrance McNally

01:15:02.825 --> 01:15:07.285
and I really got into this character
in my own little 17-year-old way,

01:15:07.665 --> 01:15:10.445
and I remember by the end
of the play I was in tears.

01:15:10.805 --> 01:15:12.205
I couldn\'t even finish the play

01:15:15.665 --> 01:15:19.805
and the lights went down and I just
felt very raw and I felt like, wow,

01:15:19.925 --> 01:15:21.965
I guess that\'s what acting is.

01:15:22.805 --> 01:15:27.365
I went by the theater one night and I
saw Patrick Wilson on a Gershwin review

01:15:27.505 --> 01:15:30.605
and I thought, this guy is really
great and we\'re casting full money.

01:15:32.615 --> 01:15:36.685
David Yasbeck wrote a brilliant score
and we had a wonderful perfect cast.

01:15:37.785 --> 01:15:42.005
The characters in Fulani to me represent
everybody who\'s got some gumption and

01:15:42.055 --> 01:15:46.925
wants to better themselves, and I
just love writing these six men.

01:15:48.115 --> 01:15:49.765
This show was as much about

01:15:52.435 --> 01:15:57.285
life and love and not taking
anybody for granted as any show

01:15:57.285 --> 01:16:00.885
that I\'ve ever been a part of. Hey,
who are you calling A loser? My father.

01:16:01.985 --> 01:16:06.045
Almost a great father except we
needed to kill him. This is it.

01:16:06.565 --> 01:16:09.805
Everyone we know is out there.
You think I\'m a great father?

01:16:11.325 --> 01:16:12.158
I said, almost.

01:16:13.445 --> 01:16:18.405
I love you big fuck. When
you think about Terrance,

01:16:18.915 --> 01:16:23.645
well, what\'s the category
that leaps to mind? Musical,

01:16:24.245 --> 01:16:28.965
librettist, gay historian, comic writer,

01:16:30.205 --> 01:16:32.565
romantic. Bring it on.

01:16:46.565 --> 01:16:48.455
Come on, Maestro. What
are we eating today?

01:16:48.855 --> 01:16:52.695
I don\'t know. Look at the
patterns on these. It\'s beautiful.

01:16:53.915 --> 01:16:57.375
I\'d buy a shirt with that pattern.
I would. It\'s I know you would.

01:16:58.445 --> 01:17:02.695
What flowers do you like? Not many people
will fess up to love at first sight,

01:17:02.715 --> 01:17:06.015
but I will and I believe in it.

01:17:07.275 --> 01:17:10.605
It was a Sunday afternoon in June of 2001.

01:17:11.845 --> 01:17:16.445
I put together an afternoon panel
called Theater from a gay perspective.

01:17:17.485 --> 01:17:21.085
I thought, Hey, another panel on
gay theater. I\'m so tired of them,

01:17:21.465 --> 01:17:24.165
but my mother was visiting
from Texas. I said, well,

01:17:24.165 --> 01:17:26.485
it\'s something to take
mom to, so I said, yes.

01:17:28.425 --> 01:17:31.245
My mother died shortly after. That
was really the last time I saw her.

01:17:32.635 --> 01:17:36.735
It is so exciting for me to be a part
of a panel discussion with these three

01:17:37.015 --> 01:17:41.415
distinguished playwrights.
Today. We had Edward Alby,

01:17:41.815 --> 01:17:45.335
Lanford Wilson and Terrence
McNally on the panel.

01:17:46.355 --> 01:17:49.655
At the time, I was lawyering.
I was still doing HIV work,

01:17:49.995 --> 01:17:54.135
but at a very young age I
fell in love with the theater,

01:17:55.155 --> 01:17:57.415
so I was absolutely starstruck.

01:17:57.525 --> 01:18:01.615
It\'s very convenient for critics to call
the three of us gay writers because it

01:18:01.615 --> 01:18:03.055
fits us into a little compartment.

01:18:04.285 --> 01:18:08.695
Imagine how absurd it would be to call
Arthur Miller or David Mamet straight

01:18:08.695 --> 01:18:09.528
writers.

01:18:10.115 --> 01:18:14.015
It shows how marginalized gay men
and lesbians are in our society.

01:18:15.735 --> 01:18:17.295
I just thought, wow, that guy,

01:18:17.505 --> 01:18:22.175
those eyes are just a blaze
and he\'s so funny and we

01:18:22.955 --> 01:18:23.788
hit it off.

01:18:24.395 --> 01:18:26.055
My first date with Tom Ee,

01:18:26.495 --> 01:18:31.495
I made spaghetti with a
store-bought tomato sauce,
so I don\'t call that cooking.

01:18:31.655 --> 01:18:32.695
I call that boiling water.

01:18:33.515 --> 01:18:37.695
We talked and we talked for hours and
we talked about my work as an AIDS

01:18:37.935 --> 01:18:38.405
attorney.

01:18:38.405 --> 01:18:43.295
Terence talked a lot about Carrie
Bon Aste and I loved the way he

01:18:43.295 --> 01:18:47.655
spoke about this man he loved.
I was very moved by that.

01:18:48.635 --> 01:18:51.095
It was instant, instant connection.

01:18:52.555 --> 01:18:56.575
Our days together were
incredible. By Thanksgiving,

01:18:56.885 --> 01:19:01.695
it\'s clear were falling
in love and Terrance said,

01:19:02.645 --> 01:19:07.295
look, we need to have a conversation.
I\'ve been diagnosed with lung cancer.

01:19:08.655 --> 01:19:13.095
I have struggled with
when and how to tell you,

01:19:14.155 --> 01:19:18.815
but I\'m going to have major
lung surgery on December 10th

01:19:21.715 --> 01:19:26.295
and I think it\'s unfair not to
share that information with you.

01:19:28.095 --> 01:19:32.575
I expected him to say, give me a ring
when you get better. Instead, he said,

01:19:32.795 --> 01:19:37.415
I\'d like to go through this with you,
and Tom was there every inch of the way.

01:19:38.565 --> 01:19:39.415
That first year.

01:19:39.505 --> 01:19:44.335
There were six or seven hospitalizations
and there was enormous fear that he

01:19:44.335 --> 01:19:45.255
wasn\'t going to make it.

01:19:48.015 --> 01:19:51.695
I have cancer, Sally. It\'s
only a little speck now,

01:19:51.775 --> 01:19:54.895
a microscopic dot of pain and terror,

01:19:55.715 --> 01:19:59.975
but they tell me it will soon grow and
ripen and flower in this fertile bed of

01:19:59.985 --> 01:20:02.095
malignancy that has
somehow become my body.

01:20:05.035 --> 01:20:09.085
No cancer will be worse than mine. No,

01:20:09.085 --> 01:20:12.485
none more virulent, more
horrendous, more agonizing.

01:20:15.225 --> 01:20:18.005
I\'m scared. I\'m very, very scared.

01:20:24.725 --> 01:20:29.725
Terrance now has a quarter
of a lung on one side

01:20:29.825 --> 01:20:31.965
and a half a lung on the other side,

01:20:32.545 --> 01:20:36.225
so he is got less than a
lung and he\'s doing great.

01:20:47.355 --> 01:20:50.665
After the cancer, it was like
he\'d experienced a rebirth.

01:20:51.555 --> 01:20:55.345
There were new plays on
Broadway and off musicals operas

01:20:56.565 --> 01:20:58.465
and I was so thrilled to be by a side.

01:21:11.125 --> 01:21:15.625
We are gathered here today to witness
the reaffirming of marriage vows of

01:21:15.625 --> 01:21:17.385
Terrance McNally and Thomas.

01:21:18.605 --> 01:21:22.825
If there is anyone present today who
knows of any reason why this couple should

01:21:22.825 --> 01:21:27.385
not reaffirm their vows, let them
speak now or forever hold their peace,

01:21:28.865 --> 01:21:29.698
excellent.

01:21:31.035 --> 01:21:35.985
Being happily married to Tom
has really made me a trusting of

01:21:35.985 --> 01:21:40.825
life in a way that there wasn\'t before.
I\'ve had some terrific relationships,

01:21:40.885 --> 01:21:44.145
but this is a one that
really it matters the most.

01:21:46.525 --> 01:21:49.625
Vested in me by the state
of New York. I nce you,

01:21:49.655 --> 01:21:52.145
Mary and you may seal
your vows with a kiss.

01:21:58.615 --> 01:22:02.945
When people say, when are you going
to retire? I sort of want to hit \'em.

01:22:04.935 --> 01:22:06.745
I\'ve got about three
plays I want to write.

01:22:07.365 --> 01:22:09.105
I\'m still the most critical of my work.

01:22:09.765 --> 01:22:13.625
I\'m more critical of my work than any
director or actor and God knows any critic

01:22:13.625 --> 01:22:17.745
will ever be. I think maybe
a lack of self-confidence.

01:22:17.845 --> 01:22:22.185
It has motivated me and
kept me going for 78 years.

01:22:25.415 --> 01:22:27.905
Mothers and sons is about forgiveness

01:22:30.105 --> 01:22:34.655
and even if we can\'t forgive,
we have to move forward.

01:22:35.595 --> 01:22:37.775
He was barely 18 when he left Texas.

01:22:38.395 --> 01:22:40.575
That\'s too young to come
to a city like New York.

01:22:40.915 --> 01:22:43.935
As a young gay man, he didn\'t
feel comfortable where he was.

01:22:45.345 --> 01:22:47.375
Andre wasn\'t gay when he came to New York.

01:22:50.965 --> 01:22:53.895
We\'d been talking about the
condition of becoming invisible,

01:22:54.865 --> 01:22:57.255
especially for women as you age.

01:22:58.355 --> 01:23:01.135
She sees how bereft she is of connection.

01:23:01.585 --> 01:23:04.695
She\'s beginning to realize
how she\'s made herself alone.

01:23:05.625 --> 01:23:09.915
Mothers and sons was very much me
trying to understand my mother,

01:23:11.295 --> 01:23:16.115
my kind of telling my
mother who I am and she

01:23:16.135 --> 01:23:18.315
had to sort of listen as
opposed to change the subject.

01:23:18.885 --> 01:23:21.755
Jesus Christ woman, reach
out to someone, let someone.

01:23:21.895 --> 01:23:25.515
In. There\'s so much I want to
say that\'s not about Andre.

01:23:25.665 --> 01:23:29.835
It\'s about me and no one else. Me as if
I were the only person on the planet,

01:23:30.005 --> 01:23:34.475
which is how I felt all my life. There
were other people, a mother, a father,

01:23:34.755 --> 01:23:35.715
a husband, didn\'t matter.

01:23:35.995 --> 01:23:40.435
I was still alone and then there was
Andre and I thought everything would be

01:23:40.435 --> 01:23:44.315
fine. He was going to fix it.
He didn\'t even come close.

01:23:45.295 --> 01:23:49.755
My work never gave me pleasure before.
Only in the past couple of years

01:23:51.415 --> 01:23:53.435
during the run of Mothers and Sons,

01:23:53.955 --> 01:23:57.275
I just was going up eighth Avenue and
I saw the marquee and I just like, wow,

01:23:57.275 --> 01:24:01.555
that\'s me. That\'s my life
up there and it\'s not over,

01:24:01.815 --> 01:24:06.275
but I let it in. That\'s the
day I said, I am a playwright.

01:24:06.625 --> 01:24:09.875
I\'ve done this. Whereas before,
I don\'t know. It was like,

01:24:10.415 --> 01:24:15.115
thanks for the use of the hall. Turn
off the lights when you\'re done.

01:24:15.195 --> 01:24:19.995
I always felt like a visitor and I
suddenly felt like a part of the American

01:24:19.995 --> 01:24:23.355
theater. It was a great feeling.

01:24:35.425 --> 01:24:37.995
Theater is collaborative,
but life is collaborative.

01:24:38.815 --> 01:24:41.555
We need that spirit more than
ever in these days ahead.

01:24:43.175 --> 01:24:47.835
I\'m always startled when I\'m asked
why I chose to write about aids.

01:24:48.605 --> 01:24:49.715
There was no choice.

01:24:50.695 --> 01:24:54.635
An artist responds to their world
and tries to make sense of it,

01:24:55.145 --> 01:24:59.755
even the bad things. What else was
I going to write about the weather?

01:25:01.315 --> 01:25:06.235
I am thankful for the men and women who
took to the streets and made our voices

01:25:06.405 --> 01:25:08.395
heard. They made a difference,

01:25:09.295 --> 01:25:14.275
but I\'m also grateful to the
artists who tried to make sense of

01:25:14.275 --> 01:25:18.435
the terror and confusion.
We also made a difference.

01:25:19.555 --> 01:25:24.355
I am bewildered and more than a
little angry by the artists who did

01:25:24.355 --> 01:25:27.275
nothing but fiddle while their Rome,

01:25:27.865 --> 01:25:29.435
this great city burned.

01:25:31.475 --> 01:25:36.315
I lost two partners to aids.
I walk for Gary Bonte today.

01:25:37.195 --> 01:25:38.435
I walk for Bobby Drive.

01:25:39.515 --> 01:25:44.355
I walk for all the men and women who
never had the opportunity of life

01:25:45.095 --> 01:25:49.195
not cut unreasonably short.
So many possibilities denied.

01:25:50.435 --> 01:25:53.755
I walk in remembrance. I walk in love.

01:25:59.185 --> 01:26:02.595
Someone told me the average age
expectancy now is 80 something.

01:26:03.825 --> 01:26:06.085
How many of those moments
you live with such intensity?

01:26:07.595 --> 01:26:11.805
Half of our life we\'re getting cabs or
washing the dishes or picking up the dry

01:26:12.005 --> 01:26:15.045
cleaning or not noticing the
person sitting next to us.

01:26:19.505 --> 01:26:24.285
The arts are an attempt to hold
in our hands what is hard to hold?

01:26:24.285 --> 01:26:26.445
Lightning, sand of water.

01:26:27.495 --> 01:26:31.885
Those moments that are full and
right and true and just life.

01:26:34.885 --> 01:26:35.725
I want more of these moments.

01:26:42.145 --> 01:26:46.565
If I have seemed harsh, it is because
I have been harsh with myself.

01:26:48.065 --> 01:26:51.485
I\'m not good with words, but
I have tried to reach you.

01:26:52.145 --> 01:26:56.965
To communicate something of what I
feel about what we do as artists,

01:26:58.545 --> 01:27:02.405
as musicians and as human beings.

01:27:03.745 --> 01:27:07.805
The sun will not fall down from
the sky if there are no more trata.

01:27:08.785 --> 01:27:11.885
The world can and will go on without us.

01:27:12.585 --> 01:27:15.365
But I have to think that we have
made this world a better place,

01:27:15.555 --> 01:27:18.245
that we have left it richer,

01:27:19.375 --> 01:27:21.885
wiser than had we not
chosen the way of art.

01:27:22.785 --> 01:27:26.205
The older I get, the less I know,

01:27:26.945 --> 01:27:31.045
but I\'m certain that
what we do matters If.

01:27:31.045 --> 01:27:32.245
I didn\'t believe that,

01:27:34.385 --> 01:27:36.285
you must know what you want to do in life.

01:27:36.585 --> 01:27:39.725
You must decide for we
cannot do everything.

01:27:40.425 --> 01:27:43.925
Do not think singing is an easy career.

01:27:44.625 --> 01:27:48.045
It is a lifetime\'s work.
It does not stop here.

01:27:48.595 --> 01:27:49.805
Whether I continue.

01:27:49.835 --> 01:27:54.405
Singing or not, doesn\'t matter besides,
it\'s all there in the recordings.

01:27:54.475 --> 01:27:57.685
What matters is that you use
whatever you have learned wisely.

01:27:58.295 --> 01:28:03.045
Think of the expression of the words
of good diction and of your own

01:28:03.075 --> 01:28:03.925
deep feelings.

01:28:05.345 --> 01:28:10.325
The only thanks I ask is that you
sing properly and honestly if you

01:28:10.425 --> 01:28:12.965
do this, then I will be repaid.

01:28:14.595 --> 01:28:16.685
Well, that\'s that.

01:28:18.065 --> 01:28:22.245
She gathers her things and
goes black out the end.