Ida's Diary
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
A young Norwegian woman with Borderline personality disorder, struggling with a turbulent emotional life, keeps a video diary to ease her mind and to structure her thoughts. The film is a unique insight into a world of fear and anxiety with precious moments of everyday victories and self-discovery. It shows also a powerful struggle towards self-acceptance and a genuine appreciation of life as opposed to labeling mental health as a disorder. A film about hope, about finding your own identity and about daring to live.
Citation
Main credits
Hanssen, August B. (film director)
Aanonsen, Carsten (film producer)
Storm, Ida (on-screen participant)
Storm, Ida (director of photography)
Other credits
Director of photography, Ida Storm; editor, Erik Andersson; original music, Topscore.
Distributor subjects
No distributor subjects provided.Keywords
Ida’s Diary - TV-version 56minutes
Clean Version - starts at 10:00:00:00
10:00:00:00 - 10:01:30:00
Colour bar
10:01:30:00 - 10:02:00:00
Black Burst
10:02:01:00 - 10:02:05:05
LOGO:
INDIE FILM
10:02:05:20 - 10:02:12:04
TEXT :
IDA STARTED SELF-HARMING
IN SECRETE WHEN SHE WAS 10
10:02:12:23 - 10:02:19:14
TEXT:
TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF HER LIFE
IDA DECIDED TO RECORD A VIDEO DIARY
10:02:19:23 - 10:02:26:00
TEXT:
THIS FILM IS BASED ON HER DIARY
10:02:26:12
SEQUENCE 1 - IDA YOUNG AND RESTLESS, BUT DOESN’T FEEL WELL
Scene 1: Ida in her car, night
10:02:28:04 - 10:02:39:02 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Ida's personal ad:
Hi, my name is Ida.
I am 24 years old.
I sometimes miss
being in a relationship.
10:02:39:17 - 10:02:49:08 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I have been told I am different.
According to the professionals -
I am a hopeless, insane,
brain-damaged ex-junkie.
10:02:49:12 - 10:00:54:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I have emotionally unstable
personality disorder.
I either love you or hate you.
10:02:55:00 - 10:02:58:07 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I think Hannibal
also was borderline, like me.
10:02:58:17 - 10:03:10:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Sometimes I can be upbeat, like,
"Yes, this is the life!
I love living here on earth."
"I wish life was always like this!
Yes!"
10:03:11:00 - 10:03:18:09 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And then I can hit rock bottom.
"Screw the entire world!
Fucking pile of shit!"
10:03:19:05 - 10:03:26:01 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I hope you feel the same.
Actually, I hope you aren't like me.
To be honest.
10:03:26:15 - 10:03:36:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Most important is that
you are who you are.
Yes
From…
10:03:37:03 - 10:03:39:22 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Sweetie Pie.
Hope to hear from you!
Yes! Bye!
10:03:39:23 - 10:03:46:05
TEXT IN IMAGE - GRAPHICS TITLE:
IDAS DAGBOK
10:03:46:16 - 10:03:51:08
TEXT IN IMAGE - GRAPHICS YEAR:
2006
10:03:46:16
Scene 2: Ida in her car, smoking
10:04:01:03 - 10:04:09:04 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've decided to find some
positive things about myself.
So I can think of them
when I feel down.
10:04:09:08 - 10:04:13:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
One positive thing is that
I am easily pleased.
10:04:16:15 - 10:04:33:17 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It makes me happy
when someone shows they care about me.
I hate spoiled little brats.
The kinds that whine if they don't
get everything they point at.
I'm perfectly content.
10:04:42:09 - 10:04:49:18 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I don't really need anything.
Except someone who cares about me.
And I have that.
10:04:50:00
Scene 3: montage; Ida with her friends
10:04:52:18 - 10:04:56:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Linda is out shoveling snow
while I sit here doing nothing.
10:04:59:00 - 10:05:02:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I'm going to meet Andreas.
Exciting!
10:05:02:09 - 10:05:06:12 - FRIEND TO IDA
And that little man
just lay down in the snow.
10:05:06:16 - 10:05:11:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Merete and I are where
Charlotte and I ate Chinese earlier.
10:05:12:03 - 10:05:17:15 - FRIEND TO IDA
I don't think
the water's very warm, Ida.
10:05:30:10
Scene 4: Ida back in her car, smoking, high on weed, in bed at night
10:05:30:10 - 10:05:36:11 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I didn't get very high
from that joint.
So I'm going to roll
another small one.
10:06:13:00 - 10:06:14:11 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It's crazy.
10:06:16:00 - 10:06:20:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Sick, sick, sick.
10:06:36:15 - 10:06:38:12 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've taken a sleeping pill.
10:06:46:11 - 10:06:58:03 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Actually I don't feel
very well at all, right now.
Everything's going to hell.
Like a bunch of bad
lumps in my stomach.
10:07:04:10 - 10:07:12:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
School sucks right now.
I'm tired of getting shitty grades.
And being absent all the time.
10:07:15:22 - 10:07:27:07 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And I have so many feelings.
Ida.
I weigh 61.5 kilos.
Or is it 60.5 kilos?
And I am full of emotion.
10:07:28:15 - 10:07:32:19 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But you can make the best of it,
instead of making it worse.
10:07: 33:13
Scene 5: Ida, night, drives fast in her car
10:07:43:10 - 10:07:45:05 - IDA OFF TO THE CAMERA
Almost at 100!
10:07:51:11 - 10:07:52:22 - IDA OFF TO THE CAMERA
Over 100!
10:07:53:20 - 10:07:57:05 - IDA OFF TO THE CAMERA
Boy, are we going fast!
10:07:57:15 - 10:08:00:24 - IDA OFF TO THE CAMERA
A car is coming head-on...
10:08:02:19 - 10:08:04:19 - IDA OFF TO THE CAMERA
Almost 130!
10:08:10:00 - 10:08:19:11 - IDA OFF TO THE CAMERA
140, closing in on 150!
Come on, you stupid car!
10:08:40:19
Scene 6: Ida at her bathroom and in the basement. Cuts herself
10:08:52:09 - 10:08:54:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I don't know what to do.
10:09:44:21
SEQUENCE 2 - IDA IS SERIOUSLY ILL
Scene 7: Ida, day, at psychiatric ward
10:09:47:10 - 10:09:50:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Hi, I have just arrived at Ward C.
10:09:51:20 - 10:10:06:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
And...
It's a fairly small room.
With the ugliest bathroom
I have ever seen.
Absolutely horrible.
10:10:07:01 - 10:10:14:18 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've had to fill out some forms.
A whole bunch of. -
- things.
10:10:17:15 - 10:10:29:18 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
"Am I too gullible?”
Three.
"Do I make a fool of myself?"
Definitely.
"Do I feel an urge to break things?"
Four.
10:10:30:00 - 10:10:45:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Blah, blah, blah. After reading this,
they're going to say, -
"Ida, you feel insecure
at the moment."
"And you're quite strange.".
"But otherwise perfectly healthy."
10:10:45:24
Scene 8: Montage; Ida’s life at psychiatric ward
10:10:46:22 - 10:10:52:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I had six slices of bread
and scrambled eggs for lunch.
I'm full.
10:10:53:15 - 10:10:57:01 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
There's a psycho
with a jigsaw puzzle outside.
10:10:58:00 - 10:11:02:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Hash affects your mood.
I feel better when I don't smoke.
10:11:02:18 - 10:11:03:22
TEXT IN IMAGE:
ANXIETY
10:11:04:08 - 10:11:06:18 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
The coffee machine.
10:11:06:19 - 10:11:11:02 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
The walls are thin here.
I should lower my voice.
10:11:11:21 - 10:11:23:19 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Lunch is coming up.
In an hour.
And then I have conversation therapy.
A group session,
where we all talk about our problems.
10:11:24:06 - 10:11:36:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And at four o’clock
I have an appointment
with the attending physician
and Vibeke.
So they can find out
what's wrong with me.
10:11:38:03
Scene 9: Ida, day, at her room at psychiatirc ward
10:11:38:03 - 10:11:46:08 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I have just had my meeting,
with Vibeke.
We talked.
She actually seems nice.
10:11:46:19 - 10:11:56:09 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I told her
that I don't tell people things
because I'm afraid they'll get mad.
10:11:57:01 - 10:12:02:11 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
There was a lot of yelling
and screaming at home.
When dad moved out.
10:12:03:12 - 10:12:21:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
She said that even though
I may have forgotten about it,
it's still a repressed memory.
Something that...
When people start yelling,
I get afraid and anxious.
10:12:25:02 - 10:12:29:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
When I think back, I remember
my childhood as very depressing.
10:12:32:11 - 10:12:41:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Back then,
my mother listened to Enya a lot.
I've been thinking about those days
when mom listened to Enya.
10:12:42:09 - 10:12:57:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Whenever I hear that music,
I remember
how incredibly depressed I was.
I want to be happy!
I want to be like everyone else.
10:12:58:05 - 10:13:00:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've been told
that I may be psychotic.
10:13:04:15 - 10:13:10:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
That's strange.
I don't feel crazy, I feel odd..
But apparently I am crazy.
10:13:15:15 - 10:13:18:18 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I am so bored,
and I only have one cigarette left.
10:13:24:04 - 10:31:04 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
This is how many pills I take in
three days, plus three sleeping pills..
10:11:32:17 - 10:13:37:19 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I may be going home today.
Cheers!
10:13:41:20 - 10:13:43:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It will be a little strange.
10:13:46:23
Scene 10: Night, Ida at home on leave, at a party
10:13:57:12 - 10:13:59:09 - OFF PERSON AT THE PARTY
What the hell?
10:14:02:19 - 10:14:11:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've just snorted some speed
but don't really feel...
Shit, I dropped my cigarette!
10:14:11:24 - 10:14:24:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Ida, it doesn't help to get high.
It doesn't help to smoke hash.
It just makes your problems
five times worse.
Do something with your problem,
instead of embracing it.
10:14:34:23 - 10:14:40:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I want to harm myself so much right
now. I don't know how to stop myself.
10:14:45:00 - 10:14:55:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I don't really want to stop myself.
I've decided to do it.
It will be painful and nice
and I just have to do it.
10:14: 55:13
Scene 11: Ida in and out at several different psychiatric institutions and hospitals - montage.
10:15:32:11 - 10:15:33:22
TEXT IN IMAGE:
56 STITCHES
10:15:34:24 - 10:15:42:23 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I almost get proud
if it's a clean cut.
If it isn't a scratch,
but a nice, clean, deep cut.
10:15:45:12 - 10:15:46:14
TEXT IN IMAGE:
DIAGNOSIS
10:15:46:18 - 10:15:50:02 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
On Thursday I found out
I was schizophrenic.
10:15:51:00 - 10:15:51:20
TEXT IN IMAGE:
VALIUM.
ANXIETY.
10:15:56:24 - 10:16:03:07 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
On Monday I'm getting shock treatment.
I'm real nervous about that.
10:16:05:05 - 10:16:06:05
TEXT IN IMAGE:
AGAINST NIGHTMARES
10:16:06:09 - 10:16:08:19 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Really, really scary.
10:16:08:20 - 10:16:11:11
TEXT IN IMAGE:
Emotionally unstable personality
10:16:20:18 - 10:16:28:19 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I don't know what's happened.
But I'm at the hospital and they...
I don't know what's going on.
It's...
10:16:47:20 - 10:16:58:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
My last night in Ward A.
Thank God. Tomorrow
I'll be transferred to Ward C.
Finally I'll get some help again.
10:17:01:02 - 10:17:06:11 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
This isn't the place for me.
I can't get any help here.
10:17:12:17 - 10:17:20:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I don't feel I have a future.
Not the way things are now.
10:17:40:01 - 10:17:45:13
TEXT IN IMAGE - GRAPHICS YEAR:
2010
10:17:45:14
SEQUENCE 3 - IDA IS GETTING BETTER
Scene 12: Night, winter, Ida on her way home in the snow, singing.
10:17:46:00 - 10:18:00:08 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
“Let it rain
on me.”
“Let it rain!”
“Oh, let it rain!”
Right, but anyway
10:18:01:02 - 10:18:10:17 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I'm on my way home,
but I have so much to tell you, Ida.
You can look at this
when you're in one of your dark moods.
10:18:11:04 - 10:18:17:24 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've been as low
as I can possibly get.
But,
I have made it back up.
10:18:21:15 - 10:18:26:11 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And...
If I tear up now,
it's with tears of joy, not sadness.
10:18:35:00 - 10:18:40:07 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Everything that happens
in my life is weird
and strange and different.
10:18:40:18 - 10:18:45:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
The journeys my mind has taken
are insane.
10:18:46:19 - 10:18:52:14 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I am on my way up to
my mental-health residence, but...
10:18:54:19
Scene 13: day, becomes night, Ida at home
10:19:03:03 - 10:19:13:24 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I am very pleased with myself.
I have been to yoga.
And I have baked
chocolate-chip cookies
based on a recipe I got from Nora.
10:19:17:08 - 10:19:23:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I never thought I would
make something like this.
This is totally extreme.
10:19:24:00 - 10:19:26:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But are they done?
They're all soft.
10:19:28:13 - 10:19:48:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I'm having huge mood swings now.
I never feel I'm good enough
at anything.
And I constantly feel
that those around me,
my sisters Helene and Camilla, mom...
That they are waiting for me
to get well.
10:19:48:19 - 10:19:55:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
To become normal.
They've been waiting for years.
Waiting for me to get well.
10:19:56:20 - 10:20:03:02 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And I do strive
to be well enough.
10:20:03:08 - 10:20:07:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I don't cut myself,
I don't get high, but still...
10:20:09:21 - 10:20:17:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
A lot of people say,
"But you were sick."
"You had an illness.
You couldn't help it."
10:20:18:00 - 10:20:37:22 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But you never hear people
tell a cancer patient,
"Get a grip.
Can't you see you're hurting us?"
"Why don't you just stop?"
"Stop losing your hair.
It's embarrassing."
When it's something mental,
it's so damn hard.
10:20:43:00 - 10:20:59:11 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Sometimes I can't bear
talking about it. Like earlier.
I told dad I had a lot on my mind.
That I don't know where I am
or where I'm going.
And I'm tired and fed up.
10:21:01:00 - 10:21:12:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And he said,
"That's how everyone feels at times."
There's no point
in talking to him about it.
I just asked him
about something else instead.
10:21:15:20 - 10:21:22:03 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I just saw a stupid American movie.
The kind where you know the ending
before it has even started.
10:21:24:01 - 10:21:42:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
There was a father
who had failed his daughter.
Without intending to.
And then he started
being so wonderful and nice
to his daughter.
He did everything he could for her.
10:21:34:20 - 10:21:46:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
So the ending was very touching.
10:21:48:02 - 10:21:57:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And, like now,
that triggered a lot of
powerful, painful emotions.
I miss him.
10:22:02:05
Scene 14: Archive, home video, montage Ida’s childhood
10:22:46:11
Scene 15: Night, Ida in her car on her way to her special place by the sea; Spornes
10:22:47:00 - 10:22:54:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Now everything is...
I don't want to do anything.
Just want the days to pass.
10:22:56:07 - 10:22:58:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Everything is difficult.
10:22:59:00 - 10:23:19:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
So I'm forcing myself
to go to my special place.
Because I know that,
when it's hardest for me
to go there,
that's when
it's most important to go.
I've put this off for several days,
but now I have to go.
10:23:44:00 - 10:23:47:10 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Here I am.
10:23:47:14 - 10:24:15:08 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
This is Ida's new strategy
for mastering winter nights.
This is very good.
The way I used to master
winter nights
was by taking speed and
cutting myself. But now I'm here.
Facing the scary darkness instead.
This seems like a healthy choice.
10:24:18:00 - 10:24:29:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
There is the place I always long for.
Look at this!
A little cabin of sorts,
at the top of the hill.
10:24:30:00 - 10:24:38:16 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Too bad
the camera can't see the ocean.
My whole life,
I've wanted a place by the sea.
A place where I can go. And this...
10:24:39:10 - 10:24:49:17 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
And this... I'm at a loss for words.
Words don't do it justice.
I'm going to start crying.
10:25:02:16 - 10:25:13:14
TEXT IN IMAGE - GRAPHICS YEAR:
2011
10:25:13:15
SEKVENS 4 - IDA IS TRYING TO MOVE ON WITH HER LIFE
Scene 16: Day, Spring, Ida swimming in the ocean
10:25:19:00 - 10:25:27:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Lovely!
That was awesome!
My first swim of the year. Yes!
10:25:27:22
Scene 17: Day, Ida at home in her coach
10:25:40:12 - 10:25:50:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've looked at some videos lately.
Clips I shot at Ward A, B and C
and other hospitals and institutions.
10:25:50:20 - 10:26:02:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And I find it so annoying
that I haven't filmed
more than I have.
But I should be glad
I have filmed something.
10:26:02:15 - 10:26:06:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And I'm glad I've written
all those diaries.
10:26:06:15 - 10:26:09:15 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
And drawn what I saw.
10:26:14:20 - 10:26:25:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I could have not written anything.
And I could have not filmed anything.
So it's good that I did.
10:26:25:20 - 10:26:40:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And I think it's a good idea
to simply be here and now.
In one sense
it feels good to think back.
It seems so distant
and I'm so glad to be here...
10:26:42:00
Scene 18: Day, Ida in front of her mirror
10:26:42:04 - 10:26:55:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Everyone has wounds and scars.
Of course.
Everyone does.
It's just that mine are so visible.
So my pain becomes very visible.
10:26:56:00 - 10:27:19:12 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Christ! If it's what's on the outside
that counts
there wouldn't be much hope for me.
I've even cut my face.
I've cut myself here, and on my neck.
I've cut myself here.
And here. And my shin
is what most people stare at.
Here.
10:27:21:15 - 10:27:26:23 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
You can get used to most everything..
Christ!
10:27:27:15 - 10:27:41:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
I got some prescriptions,
but I don't have any money.
De That's because
I spent my money on you guys.
You bring a little life to this place.
10:27:42:19
Scene 19: Day, Ida on her way home from the store, have bought potatoes, boils them at home.
10:27:45:14 - 10:27:54:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Today is April 9, 2011.
And I have bought potatoes
for the first time in my life.
10:27:59:04 - 10:28:09:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Eat potatoes and drink tea.
Yay!
That's so...
Yes!
I've been jumping up and down,
"Yes, I bought potatoes!"
10:28:09:14 - 10:28:11:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It's just…
Yay!
10:28:12:16 - 10:28:20:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I have to go hug someone.
Yes!
The first time I have boiled potatoes.
I am so proud!
10:28:21:09 - 10:28:30:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Imagine having a family
to boil potatoes for.
That would be so nice.
Maybe...
No, I'm sure I'll have one some day.
10:28:33:07
Scene 20: Night, out at town, Ida celebrates her 24th birthday with friends
10:28:33:07 - 10:28:44:08 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
My last day as a 23-year-old.
I have...
FRIEND ONE OFF
-Are you 23?
IDA ON TO FRIEND ONE
-I'll be 24.
FRIEND TWO TO THE CAMERA, IDA AND FRIEND ONE
She's 24 now, actually.
She is 24
10:28:44:12 - 10:29:00:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
My last day at 23,
and I've never been happier.
IDA TO FRIEND TWO
I have to tell you...
Pretend you aren't here.
IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Mariann...
OK, you're not here.
Mariann isn't here right now.
10:29:00:14 - 10:29:10:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But this is so real,
and I can just be myself. Be Ida.
And that's totally fine.
It's good to be Ida.
I feel much more confident
about myself.
I'm seeing double now,
and that I'm more confident.
10:29:19:24
Scene 21: Day, Ida at home celebrating the birthday with her friends at the porch, goes into the bathroom to talk to the camera
10:29:19:24 - 10:29:31:08 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Today I am 24 years old.
I went out last night
and I feel it in my entire body.
I think I'm still drunk.
10:29:31:14 - 10:29:38:03 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Mariann and Anne are coming over.
I can't wait!
But I feel like crap.
10:29:38:07 - 10:29:43:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It's worth putting in the effort.
I am so grateful
to these people here.
Thank you so much!
10:29:49:09 - 10:29:52:19 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I'm the luckiest person in the world!
Thank you!
10:29:52:23 - 10:29:05:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I can be utterly miserable,
and hit rock bottom
and be full of anxiety
and crap, but...
Right now, Ida...
10:30:10:00 - 10:30:12:23
TEXT IN IMAGE:
IDA, YOU'RE THE BEST!
10:30:20:23
Scene 22: Afternoon and night, Ida at home in front of her mirror, dealing with the fact that someone have called her Sweetie Pie two days before
10:30:21:01 - 10:30:29:23 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Today is Thursday.
On Tuesday,
a 25-year-old, seemingly normal girl
called me Sweetie Pie.
10:30:31:20 - 10:30:41:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I associate "Sweetie Pie"
with a fat little girl with glazed
eyes and ice cream around her mouth.
10:30:41:14 - 10:31:04:02 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Who would call me Sweetie Pie?.
It's...
I've tried to focus on something else,
but it keeps churning around -
in my mind.
I keep picturing it,
just like it happened.
Sweetie Pie? What the fuck is that?
Sweetie Pie?
10:31:04:20 - 10:31:12:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Anyway, it's
5 o'clock. Let's see
if I can shake it by tonight.
10:31:13:10 - 10:31:26:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Sweetie Pie?.
I can't seem to shake it.
I keep repeating it inside my head.
Twenty times a minute.
Sweetie Pie.
10:31:27:13 - 10:31:38:21 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I should have called her a fucking
bitch. See how that made her feel.
Sweetie Pie?
I'm no Sweetie Pie.
I’m not.
10:31:39:19 - 10:31:53:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It's nighttime now,
and I'm doing better.
with Sweetie Pie and all that.
It has to do with
my past, my lack of self-confidence,
my insecurities.
10:31:53:17 - 10:32:22:12 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But now I'm doing better.
I'm upbeat.
And I visited mom.
She's upbeat tonight too.
We joked about it, because Helene
wants to be called Little Baby.
Mom is Lion Mother,
Kitty is Mink and I'm Sweetie Pie.
We joked that we should get
an engraved name plate:
"Little Baby, Lion Mother,
Sweetie Pie and Mink live here."
10:32:23:05
Scene 23: Day, Ida is having fun with her pets, at home, on her porch and out by a lake.
10:32:30:24 - 10:32:37:18 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
On May 3,
Nora passed away.
Now only Michelle is left.
10:32:39:00 - 10:32:48:05 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Kitty entered my world a few days ago.
Nora out and Kitty in.
And now Nora into Kitty...
10:32:49:20 - 10:33:26:09 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Nora is dead.
She was Michelle's "bowlmate".
If Michelle can live briefly here,
she'll experience something other...
IDA TO THE FISH
Look at this. Yes, Michelle
Is it scary?
Yes..
Look how scared she is.
The other way, Michelle.
Look, you're out!
You're out!
-Look at that.
FRIEND TO IDA
Can you film under water?
IDA TO FRIEND
Look at that.
There she goes!
10:33:26:13 - 10:33:36:20
FRIEND TO IDA
Can goldfish live in lakes?
IDA TO FRIEND
At this moment, yes.
FRIEND TO IDA
Spread the rose petals.
IDA TO THE FISH
Bye, Michelle!
Bye.
10:33:37:05 - 10:33:44:06 - IDA TO THE CAT
Are you having fun, Kitty?
You like it in there.
Here, Kitty!
10:33:47:01
SEQUENCE 5: WHAT IF THIS GOOD PERIODE IS JUST A PERIODE?
Scene 24: Day, Ida is lying in the floor in her bathroom and talking to the camera
10:33:48:20 - 10:34:07:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I'm so afraid of
not daring to take advantage of
the life I have.
I'm actually terrified of that.
Scared to death.
10:34:09:09 - 10:34:13:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I think I'm equally afraid of both.
Living and dying.
10:34:17:07 - 10:34:39:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Because in life, my days to come,
I have no idea what to expect.
And if I choose death,
which is actually a choice,
I have no idea
where that might lead.
But I know just as little
about where my life might lead
if I wake up tomorrow.
10:34:46:09
Scene 25: Night, Ida outside her appartment, removing her nameplate, day, at home popping a champagne bottle and filming her appartment which she is now leaving.
10:34:50:00 - 10:35:01:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It is nighttime now.
And I am removing my nameplate.
There.
10:35:05:12 - 10:35:13:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I am moving out
of my mental-health residence!
Yes!
10:35:23:22 - 10:35:26:07 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
This place is not good for me.
10:35:35:06
Scene 26: Night, Ida outside her now, old, appartment
10:35:36:00 - 10:35:53:15 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Hey, Kitty!
Perfect.
You were just what I needed.
There's the mental-health residence
I'm moving out of.
And the first thing I see
is a white cat.
Thank you, Kitty!
10:35:54:01
Scene 27: Day, Ida is showing the camera her new home, stopping at the bathroom to deal with some bad emotions. Night, she plays on her orgel. Montage trees and branches at night.
10:35:54:01 - 10:36:09:09 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
We have just moved out
the last of my stuff.
I'm never going back there again.
But I don't have a couch,
so I have to sit in the corner.
Here's my kitchen,
wood-burning stove, and bathroom.
10:36:11:15 - 10:36:23:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It sucks that I have to feel...
Suddenly I got so
depressed.
Everything became hopeless.
10:36:26:15 - 10:36:38:24 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And unfortunately
experience tells me
things won't necessarily
get any better.
This isn't necessarily
something that will pass.
10:36:39:13 - 10:36:50:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But I do have some new experience.
I can get through this.
But now I'm starting to feel
like before.
When I had to cut myself.
10:36:57:00 - 10:36:59:16 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But I'm not going to.
Never again
10:37:43:20
Scene 28: Morning, Ida in front of the bathroom mirror - she’s crying because she cut herself last night
10:37:45:11 - 10:37:55:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It is late September
and I cut myself yesterday.
I was never going to cut myself again,
but I did yesterday.
10:37:56:16 - 10:38:05:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I did it on both my arms and now
I have to go to the emergency room.
I haven't told anyone.
10:38:06:00 - 10:38:22:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Because yesterday, it was so weird...
There were lots of people here
and I had to mark myself and them.
We talked together
and all these people came and went.
And suddenly they were gone.
10:38:23:03 - 10:38:38:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It was so confusing.
And then I threw up.
I just wanted to...
I went to bed and thought,
"I'll just go to bed,
and when I wake up
it will all have been a nightmare."
10:38:39:05 - 10:38:49:14 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I've had many nightmares
and woken up without bandages.
But this time I have them,
and it really hurts.
10:38:52:00 - 10:38:55:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Shit, how could I have avoided this?
10:38:59:10 - 10:39:19:05 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Dammit,
now I look like the Devil, too!
I am not back.
I can't stand being back there again.
I'd rather kill myself
than go through that hell again.
Shit!
10:39:20:20
Scene 29: Day, Ida is in her car at the parking lot outside her physiatrist’s office.
10:39:21:12 - 10:39:37:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I have just been to see
my psychiatrist.
And
suddenly I was somewhere else.
And I couldn't bring myself back.
10:39:38:10 - 10:39:51:18 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
There was so much evil
in there where I was.
I wasn't in her office.
I was in the basement at our cabin.
In the innermost
dirt cellar.
10:39:52:07 - 10:40:08:02 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And there I saw
a huge, black triangle.
And it yelled horrible things at me.
And these black figures
stood around it.
And that was scary.
10:40:08:14 - 10:40:28:12 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And my psychiatrist
said things,
but I only heard sounds, not words.
And I talked to her inside my head,
but I couldn't...
I wasn't in the real world.
10:40:32:00
Scene 30: Day, Ida is playing on her orgel.
10:41:02:13
Scene 31: Day, Ida is in the forrest taking pictures and shows the camera a WW2 bunker and the ocean view.
10:41:11:20 - 10:41:26:06 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
A couple of hours ago I was at home
crying, and everything was hopeless.
I was completely out of it.
And I just...
Everything seemed so hopeless.
10:41:26:20 - 10:41:43:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But now I'm out here taking pictures,
and I can tell
that walking around
taking pictures
and being forced to focus on that...
That really helps.
10:41:47:07 - 10:42:01:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
What were the Germans thinking
when they built this? It is so scary!
Look at that.
I imagine
that if someone went down there,
they were shot.
10:42:12:00 - 10:42:22:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
This is excellent therapy.
Look at that!
What would we do without the ocean?
10:42:38:23 - 10:42:45:15
TEXT IN IMAGE - GRAPHICS YEAR
2012
10:42:45:16
SEQUENCE 6: IDA APPRECIATES EVERY DAY EXPERIENCES AND HAVE LEARNED MORE ABOUT HER ILLNESS
Scene 32: Morning, Ida at home in her living room and in front of the bathroom mirror.
10:42:46:00 - 10:42:50:02 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Breakfast.
Oatmeal, Fanta and coffee.
10:42:50:09 - 10:43:12:10 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I just managed to break
my "Hotel Caesar" TV-series mug.
I'm on the verge of tears.
I can never get it back.
I ordered it from a warehouse sale.
I had to order it.
Because it was my only chance.
But I only ordered one mug.
10:43:13:00 - 10:43:19:12 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It's the best mug I've ever had.
No matter what I poured in it,
it tasted good.
10:43:20:22 - 10:43:25:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And I only got one sip of coffee
before it broke.
10:43:26:14 - 10:43:41:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But otherwise the sun is shining,
I'm about to eat, and life is great.
All I had to complain about today,
was my broken "Hotel Caesar" mug.
And that's a great sign.
Yes!
10:43:43:01
Scene 33: Day, summer, Ida is out driving, montage, reflecting over the future
10:43:51:13 - 10:43:58:11 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
I went to Risøya to look at the ocean.
On my way home,
these guys showed up to say goodbye.
10:44:14:10 - 10:44:34:14 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
A suicidal cat.
Simply waiting to get run over.
Watch this.
See? He doesn't want to move.
Hey, Kitty!
See?
He wants to die.
That's pretty special.
Where did he go?
There he is.
10:44:44:04 - 10:45:09:22 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I don't need a husband,
kids, and a house.
But I'd love to be in a relationship
at least once in my life.
That's...
That's what I think I miss.
But I am only 25.
And usually you enter into
relationships during the summer.
Especially in Tvedestrand.
10:45:16:06 - 10:45:38:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
But now,
for several years I've been saying,
"Maybe next summer."
And now I'm 25 years old.
And I'm thinking, "Maybe next summer."
Maybe there won't be a next summer?
10:45:42:09
Scene 34: Day, Ida on her way to her psychiatrist, in her car before and after the visit.
10:45:42:09 - 10:45:55:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
My psychiatrist and I talk a lot
about being in the moment.
But why stay in the present, when
you can dream back to better times?
10:45:57:13 - 10:46:12:13 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I went to see my psychiatrist.
And I was told my appointment
was next Friday.
They told me it was Friday,
and I thought they meant this Friday.
10:46:13:13 - 10:46:19:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
That...
How am I expected to make it through
seven more days?
10:46:41:14
Scene 35: Evening and night, Ida in fromt of the bathroom mirror - Daring to meet her fears and nightmares.
10:46:41:20 - 10:47:10:07 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
The more I try to hide…
No, not hide, but push aside
the bad thoughts and feelings,
the stronger they come.
And no matter what,
I take everything as criticism.
Like I'm looking for
all the bad...
10:47:11:22 - 10:47:16:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
That's the first time in ages
my reflection has looked like Satan.
10:47:17:04 - 10:47:35:04 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
That black triangle.
Do it again, Ida,
so you get used to it.
I can see that it's my own face.
But the camera must be able to see
that black, that triangle...
10:48:24:12 - 10:48:35:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
You are never supposed to
look at yourself in the mirror
in the dark.
You always see what you fear most.
No matter what it is.
10:49:11:20
Scene 36: Day, Ida is lying on the floor at the psychiatric ward. She have had herself admitted.
10:49:13:21 - 10:49:44:03 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Now I am on the floor
in a psychiatric ward.
The emergency ward.
And I'm just lying here.
It's good for me to be here.
I'm relieved I contacted them.
Tonight I have had a contact here.
who has talked with me for hours.
No wonder I have to lie down.
10:49:45:04 -
TEXT IN IMAGE - GRAPHICS YEAR:
2013
10:49:52:16
SEQUENCE 7: IDA IS STILL HAVING BAD PERIODS, BUT DEALS WITH THEM IN A BETTER WAY, AND HER GOOD PERIODS ARE EVEN BETTER
Scene 37: Day, winter, Ida by the ocean at her special place, Spornes.
10:50:02:11 - 10:50:12:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Now I'm at Spornes.
I haven't been here for ages.
I don't really have much else to say.
10:50:19:03 - 10:50:27:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Except that
I'm going to get through this.
Again and again.
10:50:32:15 - 10:50:41:12 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
It is nice here. My eyes can see
that it is pretty here.
It just doesn't feel nice.
10:50:49:00 - 10:50:56:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Yeah.
I'm sure it'll be nice some other day.
I just have to hang in there.
10:50:57:13
Scene 38: Day and evening, spring, Ida at home, montage hobbies. Summer is approaching again
10:50:57:13 - 10:51:06:00 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Look at this.
I simply have to buy it.
I really want to buy that,
although a real one would be better.
10:51:07:16 - 10:51:18:22 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
It is Friday night and I am
enjoying myself with rice porridge,
soda, and my drawings.
The others went out, but I chose
to stay home with my porridge.
10:51:19:14 - 10:51:34:01 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Independence Day is not a good day
for us with social anxiety.
I'll just stay inside
with my piece of chocolate.
I'll eat half of this,
and one nut.
10:51:34:08 - 10:51:38:18 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
I look forward to wearing
these pants next summer.
10:51:39:00 - 10:51:46:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
I have finally found a hobby.
And then I glue them back together.
10:51:47:23 - 10:52:00:07 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
All the children had healthy hobbies
except Ida...
I can't wait!
Ta-da!
“Hello!”
10:52:00:18
Scene 39: Day, at a lake, Ida is on her way to Galdhøpiggen, highest mountain in Norway
10:52:06:21 - 10:52:22:15 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
I am on my way to climb
Norway's highest mountain. It is 2013.
And where I stand now
is deep inside the country.
In 24 hours I will be on the mountain.
10:52:23:00 - 10:52:50:18 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
And it is so strange and surreal.
Because...
It's just unreal.
Something I have wanted to do
for so long.
It has been a distant dream.
It may not be a big deal
for some people, but it is for me.
Many things are a big deal for me.
10:52:54:17 - 10:53:18:03 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
Even being right here.
And going
like this.
That's a big deal for me.
Because it felt so good.
My feet are tired and I got to dip
them in this water, with this view.
And smell the smells of summer.
And simply enjoy it.
10:53:18:07 - 10:53:46:20 - IDA ON TO THE CAMERA
That's a big deal for me.
What a lovely trip!
And the best part is that
I can enjoy it without that heavy,
indifferent feeling.
That tells me there's no difference
between TV and reality.
But this...
I love this.
And that makes me so happy.
10:53:55:23
Scene 40: Day, Galdhøpiggen, Ida on her way up to the top. The camera leaves her at the top showing a panorama image of the mountains and Ida in the middle.
10:54:13:01 - 10:54:15:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
What a fantastic feeling!
10:54:33:05 - 10:54:35:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
This is exhausting!
10:54:47:11 - 10:54:53:00 - IDA TO THE CAMERA
Only a short climb left.
10:56:01:02 - 10:57:26:02
END CREDITS:
IDA STORM
—
DIRECTOR
AUGUST BAUGSTØ HANSSEN
—
PRODUCER
CARSTEN AANONSEN
—
LINE PRODUCER
KARIANNE BERGE
—
EDITOR
ERIK ANDERSSON
—
ORIGINAL MUSIC
TOPSCORE
—
VIDEO FOOTAGE
IDA STORM
—
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
LARS ERLEND TUBAAS ØYMO
—
SOUND RECORDING AUGUST BAUGSTØ HANSSEN
STEADYCAM OPERATOR LARS-ERIK KRISTIANSEN
DRONE EQUIPMENT OKTOKOPTERFILM
DRONE PILOT BOB AAS CARHO
DRONE CAMERA OPERATOR KARSTEN HEIDAR
ADDITIONAL PHOTO EVEN G. BENESTAD
NILS PETTER DEVOLD MIDTHUN
AUGUST BAUGSTØ HANSSEN
KARIANNE BERGE
—
SOUND DESIGNER TUOMAS KLAAVO
FOLEY ARTIST KIMMO VÄNTTINEN
FOLEY RECORDING JUUSO HEIKKILÄ
RE RECORDING MIXER SAMI SARHAMAA, KALEVALASTUDIO
CONFORM LARS ERLEND TUBAAS ØYMO
POST PRODUCTION NORDISK FILM SHORTCUT
GRADING/ONLINE DYLAN R. HOPKIN
MASTERING TERJE K. GILLEBO
MANAGER KRISTIN HELLEBUST
PRODUCER ESPEN SKJETNE
POST COORDINATOR TOM JOELSEN
—
DEVELOPMENT EVEN G. BENESTAD
AUGUST BAUGSTØ HANSSEN
DOKUMENTARY COMMISSIONER, NFI KRISTIN ANN SKARET
DOKUMENTAR COMMISSIONER, NFI STIG ANDERSEN utvikling
PRODUCTION ADVISOR, NFI OLA HUNNES
MENTAL HEAKTH ADVISORS SVEIN ØVERLAND
FINN SKÅRDERUD
—
EQUIPMENT RENTAL EQUIPPE
INTERFOTO
FLASHSTUDIO
STORYLINE
ACCOUNTING BJERKE ØKONOMI OG REGNSKAP AS
HARLAD KLÆBOE, ANDERS VETHE
AUDITING BDO AS
NORUNN BYRKJELAND
JØRGEN FAKSVÅG
FREDRIK HOSETH
INSURANCE LYBERG & PARTNERE, MARIT ODDEN
CODAN FORSIKRING
—
OUTREACH DEVELOPMENT with thanks to GOODPITCH EUROPE 2013
THE BRITDOC FOUNDATION
MAXYNE FRANKLIN
JESS SEARCH
BEADIE FINZI
NICOLE VAN SCHAIK
OUTREACH PARTNERS MENTAL HELSE, RUNE HELLAND
NSFs faggruppe for sykepleiere innen psykisk helse og rus, KURT LYNGVED
NSSF nasjonalt senter for selvmordsforskning og -forebygging
ANITA JOHANNE TØRMOEN
LARS MEHLUM
MINDFULL
DOCACADEMY
—
DESIGN ALEN GUJIC - BALKAN ART DEPARTEMENT
FESTIVAL DISTRIBUTION NFI v/TORIL SIMONSEN
DISTRIBUTION (no) INDIE FILM
INTERNATIONAL SALES FIRST HAND FILMS
—
PRODUCED BY INDIE FILM
IN CO-PRODUCTION WITH MOUKA FILMI
SAMI JAHNUKAINEN
TELLING PRODUCTIONS
KAT MANSOOR
CHEZVILLE
GARY CRANNER
SUBSTANS FILM
KRISTIAN MOSVOLD
—
IN COLLABORATION WITH NRK, TORE TOMTER
UR - SVERIGES UTBILDNINGSRADIO,
DANIEL PYNINONEN OG SUSANNE FOLKESON
YLE, SARI VOLANEN OG ERKKI ASTALA
DR, METTE HOFFMAN MEYER
PITCHED AT NORDISK FORUM 2012
GOODPITCH 2013
IDFA FORUM 2013
—
PRODUCED WITH SUPPORT FROM NORSK FILMINSTITUTT
FRITT ORD, BENTE ROALDSVIG
THE FINNISH FILM FOUNDATION, ELINA KIVIHALME
SØRNORSK FILMSENTER, KIRSTEN B. RASK
FILMKRAFT ROGALAND, JARLE BJØRKNES
NRK, TORE TOMTER
UR - SVERIGES UTBILDNINGSRADIO, DANIEL PYNNONEN OG SUSANNE FOLKESSON
YLE, SARI VALONEN OG ERKKI ASTALA
DR, METTE HOFFMANN MEYER
WELLCOME TRUST
PUMA. CREATIVE CATALYST AWARD
—
IDA WHISES TO THANK FAMILY
FRIENDS
SUPPORTERS IN THE HEALTH SECTOR
AUGUST BAUGSTØ HANSSEN
—
THANKS TO INGUNN BEYER HANSEN
TANYA POTTS AANONSEN
EIRIK AANONSEN
MARITA BAUGSTØ
IBEN YDE HANSEN
REIDUN BEYER
CLAUDIA AANONSEN
THOMAS ØSTBYE
SOLVEIG MELKERAAEN
RAVN LANESKOG
SEVERIN BAUGSTØ HANSSEN
STINE KARIN HÅTUFT
STINE HOLME
LARS KAASIN
PATRIK SYVERSEN
NINA MINO THORUD
—
THANKS TO MARTIN J ROSENDAHL
MARTHA M.HANSEN
ELISABETH CHRISTIANSEN
EVA CECILIE ORVIN
NICOLE VAN SCHAIK
MAXYNE FRANKLIN
BEADIE FINZI
JESS SEARCH
STEPHANIE LITTLE
SANDRA WHIPHAM
LUKE MOODY
JON MICHAEL PUNTERVOLD
OTTAR SAMUELSEN, DINAMO FORLAG
INGRID SØLVERUD
ELEVENE VED FJÆRE UNGDOMSSKOLE (sal og scene)
—
THANKS TO (OUTREACH) RBUP OSLO OG AKERSHUS
RÅDET FOR PSYKISK HELSE
VIP - VESTRE VIKEN HF
LSSF landsforeningen for forebygging av selvskading og selvmord
—
SPECIAL THANKS TO ROLV
EVEN G. BENESTAD
MARIANN HIRSCH (1979-2014)
—
LOGO: Idfa Forum
GoodPitch
Norwegian Film Institute
Fritt Ord
Sørnorsk Filmsenter
Filmkraft Rogaland
The Finnish Film Foundation
Nordisk Film og TV-Fond
Wellcome Trust
PUMA Creative Catalyst Award
NRK
UR
YLE
DR
FIRST HAND FILMS
INDIE FILM
MOUKA FILMI
TELLING PRODUCTIONS
CHEZVILLE
SUBSTANS FILM
—
20©4
Indie Film, Mouka Filmi, Telling Productions, Chezville, Substans Film
