00:00:00.292 --> 00:00:05.292
(serene music)

00:00:38.999 --> 00:00:43.999
- [Narrator] A man on
a quest, day and night.

00:00:47.709 --> 00:00:49.792 position:20%
Fearless, insatiable, even
in his dreams late in life.

00:00:53.999 --> 00:00:57.999
And he notes everything.

00:00:59.999 --> 00:01:03.959
- I think that this
idea of waking up,

00:01:03.999 --> 00:01:07.292 position:20% line:20%
people who are complacent,
was very Miller.

00:01:10.999 --> 00:01:11.999 line:20%
He was probably the most
open person I ever met

00:01:15.999 --> 00:01:18.999 position:20%
and he wanted other
people to be open, to see,

00:01:19.042 --> 00:01:22.999
and he felt that
people were blind.

00:01:25.918 --> 00:01:27.083
- [Narrator] Most of
his books are about sex,

00:01:27.250 --> 00:01:29.709
relentless, obscene.

00:01:31.292 --> 00:01:32.999
But what does this mean to him?

00:01:33.042 --> 00:01:35.709
Is the egomaniac in
him seeking pleasure?

00:01:35.876 --> 00:01:39.375
Or is he searching
for a higher truth?

00:01:42.584 --> 00:01:43.584
Who was Henry Miller?

00:01:45.250 --> 00:01:47.375 line:20%
- A sort of a monk
with genitals.

00:02:00.876 --> 00:02:05.876 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:02:40.667 --> 00:02:45.667
- He used to say, I have the
most incredible, erotic dreams.

00:02:49.876 --> 00:02:53.125
And I would say,
okay, Henry, tell me.

00:02:53.292 --> 00:02:55.918
And he would say, oh, in my
dreams, I'm fucking everybody.

00:02:55.999 --> 00:03:00.042
- Ah, ah.

00:03:00.999 --> 00:03:03.375 position:20%
Pretty good, pretty good.

00:03:03.542 --> 00:03:06.125 position:20%
So that's the kind of
babies you have here, huh?

00:03:06.292 --> 00:03:09.999
Very good.

00:03:10.918 --> 00:03:11.792 position:20%
All in one piece, too, huh?

00:03:11.959 --> 00:03:13.975
(laughing)

00:03:13.999 --> 00:03:14.834
(woman exclaiming)

00:03:17.709 --> 00:03:22.459
Yeah, yeah, mm.

00:03:24.751 --> 00:03:29.751
- [Narrator] Miller
grows up in New York

00:03:29.918 --> 00:03:31.125 position:20%
at the turn of the century.

00:03:31.292 --> 00:03:33.042
His grandparents had
emigrated from Germany

00:03:33.209 --> 00:03:35.626
and settled in Yorkville, the
German quarter in Manhattan.

00:03:39.834 --> 00:03:41.626
(people chattering)

00:03:41.792 --> 00:03:43.209
He's baptized Heinrich,
after his father,

00:03:43.375 --> 00:03:46.542
who runs a tailor
shop in Brooklyn.

00:03:46.709 --> 00:03:49.167 position:20%
German narrow-mindedness
awakens the rebel in him.

00:03:53.375 --> 00:03:54.626
- In that stupid,
German neighborhood,

00:03:54.792 --> 00:03:56.999
they were great disciplinarians.

00:03:57.042 --> 00:03:59.167
They were brutal people.

00:03:59.334 --> 00:04:00.834
All my boyfriends, when
I go home with 'em,

00:04:00.999 --> 00:04:03.542
they would say,
defend me, help me.

00:04:03.709 --> 00:04:05.999
If my father starts to hit me,

00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:07.876
grab something and let's
run, you know, huh?

00:04:07.999 --> 00:04:11.459 position:20%
Yeah, it was all brutality
and discipline, it seemed.

00:04:11.626 --> 00:04:16.042
Crazy.

00:04:16.999 --> 00:04:17.999
(solemn music)

00:04:20.584 --> 00:04:24.167 position:20%
- He hated that, what he
calls the Germanic fault of

00:04:28.375 --> 00:04:32.125 line:20%
allowing oneself
to be subjugated.

00:04:32.292 --> 00:04:35.584 line:20%
And you just go, because
that's how it works.

00:04:35.751 --> 00:04:39.975
You just go along
this one channel.

00:04:39.999 --> 00:04:42.626
You don't see the other worlds.

00:04:42.792 --> 00:04:45.250
You're just focused.

00:04:46.999 --> 00:04:47.999
(solemn music)

00:04:50.542 --> 00:04:53.459 position:20%
- Oh, my mother, she was a
peculiar woman, you know.

00:04:53.626 --> 00:04:56.975
The neighbors said she loved me.

00:04:56.999 --> 00:04:59.000
They used to say that she was

00:04:59.167 --> 00:05:00.417
really greatly fond
of me, and all.

00:05:00.584 --> 00:05:03.500
I never felt any
warmth from her.

00:05:03.667 --> 00:05:05.417
She never kissed
me, never hugged me.

00:05:05.584 --> 00:05:07.334
I don't ever
remember going to her

00:05:07.500 --> 00:05:09.292
and putting my arms around her.

00:05:09.459 --> 00:05:11.000
That was a big loss.

00:05:12.834 --> 00:05:13.999
I didn't know that
mothers did that,

00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:16.751 position:20%
'til one day I visit a
friend of mine, his house.

00:05:16.918 --> 00:05:20.999
We're 12 years old,
and I go home with him.

00:05:24.667 --> 00:05:25.999
They were English, and I
hear the mother's voice,

00:05:29.999 --> 00:05:31.083
Jackie, oh, Jackie, she says.

00:05:31.250 --> 00:05:33.834
Darling, how are you?

00:05:33.999 --> 00:05:35.417
How have you been?

00:05:35.584 --> 00:05:36.975 position:20%
Puts her arms around him,
you know, and kissin'.

00:05:36.999 --> 00:05:39.292
Jeez, I never heard that
kind of language, do you see?

00:05:39.459 --> 00:05:42.542
Even that tone of
voice was new to me.

00:05:42.709 --> 00:05:46.209 position:20%
- I think he was searching
for something in women

00:05:46.375 --> 00:05:50.125 position:20% line:20%
that he couldn't find, and
that didn't really exist,

00:05:54.334 --> 00:05:55.876 position:20% line:20%
because he had this ideal.

00:05:55.999 --> 00:05:58.584
There's a relationship

00:06:00.334 --> 00:06:03.125
that's very

00:06:04.042 --> 00:06:08.876
typical, I guess,
is the right word,

00:06:08.999 --> 00:06:11.250
of his attitude towards women,

00:06:11.417 --> 00:06:13.417 position:20%
and that was his adoration
of this young woman

00:06:13.584 --> 00:06:16.459
named Cora Seward that he
knew as a youth in Brooklyn.

00:06:20.667 --> 00:06:22.834 position:20%
He was infatuated with her,

00:06:22.999 --> 00:06:24.792
but he could never bring
himself to approach her,

00:06:28.918 --> 00:06:30.542
to declare his interest in her.

00:06:30.709 --> 00:06:33.834
He used to go out
and walk to her house

00:06:33.999 --> 00:06:37.584 position:20%
and just stare up at the
window just longing for her

00:06:37.751 --> 00:06:42.083
so he was somebody
from a fairly early age

00:06:42.250 --> 00:06:45.083
was on a search for
something that was

00:06:48.292 --> 00:06:49.542
truer to what his
own feelings were

00:06:52.334 --> 00:06:54.042
and he was also in
rebellion against his mother

00:06:54.209 --> 00:06:58.250
and her values and
willing to do things

00:06:58.417 --> 00:06:59.999
that would outrage her.

00:07:00.125 --> 00:07:02.667
So he was consorting
with prostitutes,

00:07:02.834 --> 00:07:05.709 position:20%
he was going to dance halls

00:07:05.876 --> 00:07:07.975
and he was taking
up with older women

00:07:07.999 --> 00:07:09.999 position:20%
and he was doing things that
would have deeply offended

00:07:14.083 --> 00:07:17.250
his mother and that was like
a mission for him to do that.

00:07:21.459 --> 00:07:26.167
- [Narrator] He begins
writing at this time,

00:07:26.334 --> 00:07:28.417
discovering his artistic side.

00:07:28.584 --> 00:07:31.375
The work in his
father's tailor shop

00:07:31.542 --> 00:07:33.125 position:20%
doesn't suit him at all,
and his attempt at marriage

00:07:33.292 --> 00:07:35.876
fails quickly, a
result of boredom.

00:07:38.792 --> 00:07:39.959
His memories of this
time are bitter.

00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:45.542 position:20%
- Ah, now I know, now I know
where I am and who I am.

00:07:49.751 --> 00:07:51.083 position:20%
Back in that old shit hole,
New York where I was born.

00:07:55.292 --> 00:07:56.876
A place where I knew nothing
but starvation, humiliation,

00:08:00.834 --> 00:08:01.999
despair, frustration,
every goddamn thing.

00:08:05.500 --> 00:08:06.959
Nothing but misery.

00:08:06.999 --> 00:08:08.999
Of course this was the
New York that I knew

00:08:09.083 --> 00:08:11.999
when I was being born or
rather I didn't know it yet.

00:08:12.083 --> 00:08:16.375
Later, when I begin
to explore it,

00:08:16.542 --> 00:08:19.000 position:20%
why it's a different city.

00:08:19.167 --> 00:08:20.999
A little more horrible,
gets worse all the time.

00:08:21.042 --> 00:08:24.083
When I think of
the Brooklyn Bridge

00:08:24.250 --> 00:08:26.083
which was the only
bridge then in existence

00:08:26.250 --> 00:08:29.459
how many times I
walked over that bridge

00:08:29.626 --> 00:08:32.459
on an empty stomach,
back and forth,

00:08:32.626 --> 00:08:35.876
looking for a handout,
never getting anything.

00:08:35.999 --> 00:08:38.999
Selling newspapers
at Times Square.

00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.999
Begging on Broadway.

00:08:42.042 --> 00:08:43.975
Coming home with a dime, maybe.

00:08:43.999 --> 00:08:46.999 position:20%
It's no wonder that I had
these goddamn recurrent

00:08:47.042 --> 00:08:50.042
nightmares all my life.

00:08:51.999 --> 00:08:53.584
I don't know how I ever survived

00:08:56.167 --> 00:08:57.250
or why I'm still sane.

00:08:57.417 --> 00:08:59.751
(upbeat jazzy music)

00:09:02.792 --> 00:09:03.709
(honking)

00:09:05.918 --> 00:09:06.999
- [Narrator] From
the very beginning,

00:09:07.042 --> 00:09:07.975
Henry wants to be free.

00:09:07.999 --> 00:09:09.667
Free for his adventures.

00:09:09.834 --> 00:09:12.292
He seeks these out with
women in nighttime Manhattan.

00:09:16.500 --> 00:09:19.292 position:20%
Following a chance encounter
with June Mansfield,

00:09:19.459 --> 00:09:22.250
he wants to marry
her immediately.

00:09:22.417 --> 00:09:24.999
- She was a taxi dancer.

00:09:26.999 --> 00:09:28.999
They used to call it a
taxi dancer in New York.

00:09:29.042 --> 00:09:32.417 position:20% line:20%
You would go to a dance
hall, pay a girl 25 cents,

00:09:36.626 --> 00:09:39.083 position:20%
and she would dance with
you and rub up against you.

00:09:39.250 --> 00:09:43.999
She must have been very pretty,

00:09:44.083 --> 00:09:46.667
and she must have
been seductive.

00:09:49.334 --> 00:09:51.375
And also she must have
been unattainable.

00:09:54.876 --> 00:09:57.375
You know, and Henry
was like a big boy,

00:09:57.542 --> 00:10:01.375
a big little boy.

00:10:01.542 --> 00:10:03.000 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:10:52.167 --> 00:10:57.167
- But Henry I think over
time he came to see June

00:11:01.167 --> 00:11:02.999
as kind of a muse

00:11:03.083 --> 00:11:04.999
who believed in Henry's
abilities as a writer perhaps

00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:11.999 line:20%
even more than
Henry himself did.

00:11:12.083 --> 00:11:14.975 line:20%
And she was the one who
kind of kicked him out

00:11:14.999 --> 00:11:17.959
of the nest and said if
you're gonna become a writer,

00:11:17.999 --> 00:11:21.375
you're gonna have
to go to Paris.

00:11:21.542 --> 00:11:23.918
That's where artists
become artists.

00:11:23.999 --> 00:11:25.834
(serene music)

00:11:28.334 --> 00:11:32.167
- [Narrator] And Paris is
indeed a wake up call for him.

00:11:32.334 --> 00:11:35.792 position:20%
He has already been writing
in New York, but in Paris

00:11:35.959 --> 00:11:39.000 position:20%
he'll have the existential
experiences that will form

00:11:39.167 --> 00:11:41.918
the basis of his later works.

00:11:41.999 --> 00:11:44.334
First he fills
piles of notebooks.

00:11:44.500 --> 00:11:47.292 position:20%
He writes about people, streets,
smells, and his poverty.

00:11:51.542 --> 00:11:52.975 position:20%
His constant hunger, the search
for a roof over his head.

00:11:52.999 --> 00:11:56.542
- I think that when you
suffer deeply somewhere

00:11:56.709 --> 00:12:00.250 position:20%
you can't escape, you begin
to accept the situation

00:12:04.459 --> 00:12:05.999
and then you find
marvelous things in it.

00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:09.209
Don't you know?

00:12:09.375 --> 00:12:10.500
(jaunty piano music)

00:12:13.584 --> 00:12:15.042 position:20%
So in the midst of my poverty
and suffering and all that,

00:12:15.209 --> 00:12:19.584 position:20%
I really discovered Paris,
the true French spirit

00:12:19.751 --> 00:12:23.999
and everything, and
I got to love it.

00:12:27.042 --> 00:12:28.584 position:20%
This was of course, that's
a hard thing to understand,

00:12:28.751 --> 00:12:30.975 position:20%
that how can you enjoy
being like that right down

00:12:30.999 --> 00:12:34.709
at the very bottom?

00:12:36.209 --> 00:12:38.999 position:20%
As for the street itself,
there one may still see

00:12:39.083 --> 00:12:42.000
the old and the bent.

00:12:43.959 --> 00:12:46.042
The genuinely demented.

00:12:47.999 --> 00:12:50.209
The beggars and tramps.

00:12:50.375 --> 00:12:52.999
The drunkard.

00:12:53.999 --> 00:12:55.250
It's so interesting, so fussy.

00:12:55.417 --> 00:12:57.626
You're still thoroughly
alive when you do that.

00:12:57.792 --> 00:13:00.876 position:20%
You're living then with your
instincts, like an animal.

00:13:00.999 --> 00:13:04.417 position:20%
And that's a great thing
for us overcivilized people

00:13:04.584 --> 00:13:08.500 position:20%
to know again how to be a
bird of prey or, you know,

00:13:08.667 --> 00:13:13.083
an animal, just wolfing
every meal and begging

00:13:13.250 --> 00:13:17.792
and being humiliated
time and again.

00:13:20.792 --> 00:13:22.042 position:20%
Accepting it, being pushed
down and then bouncing

00:13:22.209 --> 00:13:24.709
back up again.

00:13:24.876 --> 00:13:26.209
Each day is a miracle
that you get through.

00:13:26.375 --> 00:13:29.250
Do you see?

00:13:29.417 --> 00:13:30.751
This is a very wonderful thing.

00:13:30.918 --> 00:13:32.209
- It's the instincts, the urges,

00:13:32.375 --> 00:13:34.417
that we aren't really
consciously controlling.

00:13:38.209 --> 00:13:39.751 position:20%
But Miller believed we had
to be connected to that

00:13:39.918 --> 00:13:42.375 position:20%
if we were going to ascend.

00:13:44.667 --> 00:13:45.876
So it was sort of like

00:13:47.667 --> 00:13:50.125
as above, so below.

00:13:51.876 --> 00:13:53.125
You can't rise without
having your feet in the mud.

00:13:56.999 --> 00:13:58.500 position:20%
And it's like the tree with
its roots in the ground

00:13:58.667 --> 00:14:01.000
and its leaves are in the sky.

00:14:01.167 --> 00:14:03.792
That image.

00:14:04.667 --> 00:14:06.000 position:20%
To become transcendent, a
transcendent human being,

00:14:06.167 --> 00:14:09.083
you have to incorporate all
of yourself and understand it.

00:14:13.292 --> 00:14:15.334
So that was what
Henry was about.

00:14:18.000 --> 00:14:21.999
Indulging all this obscenity.

00:14:22.042 --> 00:14:23.876 position:20%
He was saying this is part of
who we are as human beings.

00:14:23.999 --> 00:14:26.999 position:20%
And I'm not gonna pretend
that we're not this way.

00:14:27.083 --> 00:14:29.334
(typewriter clacking)

00:14:29.500 --> 00:14:31.250
- [Narrator] In Paris he
writes his undisguisedly

00:14:31.417 --> 00:14:33.542
autobiographical wild novels.

00:14:33.709 --> 00:14:36.334
Tropic of Cancer, Black
Spring, Tropic of Capricorn,

00:14:36.500 --> 00:14:40.209
and later, Quiet Days in Clichy.

00:14:42.999 --> 00:14:44.375
Miller has found his
world and his habitat.

00:14:47.999 --> 00:14:50.626 position:20%
Unloved America, where his
books are banned as obscene

00:14:50.792 --> 00:14:54.751
for many years, becomes
less and less important.

00:14:54.918 --> 00:14:58.125
(serene music)

00:14:58.292 --> 00:15:00.209 position:20% line:20%
- He called America the
air-conditioned nightmare.

00:15:00.375 --> 00:15:03.542 line:20%
As you know.

00:15:03.709 --> 00:15:05.083 position:20% line:20%
He wrote a book called The
Air-Conditioned Nightmare.

00:15:05.250 --> 00:15:08.000
He absolutely hated America.

00:15:10.417 --> 00:15:13.751
- [Henry] It hasn't
been too late.

00:15:13.918 --> 00:15:15.667
I will never become a European,

00:15:15.834 --> 00:15:17.876
but thank god I am no
longer an American.

00:15:17.999 --> 00:15:21.209
I am one of those things
you call an expatriate,

00:15:21.375 --> 00:15:24.292
a voluntary exile.

00:15:24.459 --> 00:15:26.459 position:20%
I have no country, no
frontiers, no taxes to pay,

00:15:26.626 --> 00:15:30.209
no army to fight for,
and I adore France.

00:15:33.751 --> 00:15:35.959
Brassai.

00:15:36.751 --> 00:15:37.876
(jaunty piano music)

00:15:37.999 --> 00:15:39.999
The eye of Paris.

00:15:41.334 --> 00:15:43.000 position:20%
And it was in those early days
that I used to go with him

00:15:43.167 --> 00:15:46.375
at night, all over Paris
helping him carry his equipment

00:15:46.542 --> 00:15:51.083
and so on.

00:15:51.999 --> 00:15:53.751
And I got to see a great
many parts of Paris

00:15:53.918 --> 00:15:56.292
I might never have
seen through him.

00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:06.000 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:16:32.000 --> 00:16:37.000
(serene music)

00:16:39.709 --> 00:16:41.042
- [Narrator] His
Parisian friendships

00:16:41.209 --> 00:16:42.709 position:20%
from the '20s and '30s will
remain throughout his life.

00:16:46.876 --> 00:16:48.975
Miller repeatedly visits
photographer and artist

00:16:48.999 --> 00:16:51.334
Brassai in his studio,
admiring the sculptures

00:16:51.500 --> 00:16:54.709
that he creates there.

00:16:56.500 --> 00:16:58.083
For instance, there is a
plaster Saint Sebastian

00:16:58.250 --> 00:17:01.000
whose body is pierced by
cigarettes rather than arrows.

00:17:01.167 --> 00:17:04.975 position:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:17:04.999 --> 00:17:07.375
- [Narrator] Whenever
Brassai prays to him,

00:17:07.542 --> 00:17:09.167
he gives him some cigarettes.

00:17:09.334 --> 00:17:10.083 position:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:17:10.250 --> 00:17:14.500 position:20%
- [Narrator] But once
again, Henry is interested

00:17:14.667 --> 00:17:15.999 position:20%
in something else entirely.

00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:18.083
A portrait of Brassai's wife.

00:17:18.250 --> 00:17:20.375 position:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:18:19.918 --> 00:18:24.918
(upbeat accordion music)

00:18:24.999 --> 00:18:28.375
- [Narrator] The novel
Quiet Days in Clichy,

00:18:28.542 --> 00:18:30.975 position:20%
which he completed in
1940, and which was later

00:18:30.999 --> 00:18:33.918
made into a movie,
deals with nothing less

00:18:33.999 --> 00:18:36.334 position:20%
than this experimentation.

00:18:38.542 --> 00:18:39.975
Two author friends live
together in the Paris suburb

00:18:39.999 --> 00:18:42.834
of Clichy, where they
lead bohemian lives.

00:18:42.999 --> 00:18:46.459 position:20%
If there's money in the house,
they spend it immediately

00:18:46.626 --> 00:18:48.959
on prostitutes and
debauched parties.

00:18:51.999 --> 00:18:53.167
Henry Miller celebrates
his Parisian adventures

00:18:53.334 --> 00:18:55.584
in this novel.

00:18:56.834 --> 00:18:58.999
Naturally, the film
provokes a scandal,

00:18:59.000 --> 00:19:01.000
and can't be shown in
a number of countries.

00:19:05.999 --> 00:19:10.999
Miller wrote several
versions of the novel

00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:12.751
in which he processed
his 20 years in Paris.

00:19:12.918 --> 00:19:16.751
Years which had started
off with a big bang.

00:19:16.918 --> 00:19:20.975
- He is reborn, reborn
because of Paris.

00:19:20.999 --> 00:19:24.584
Reborn because he's out
of the United States,

00:19:24.751 --> 00:19:27.542
and then he meets Anais.

00:19:29.542 --> 00:19:30.334
(pensive music)

00:19:30.500 --> 00:19:32.459
- [Narrator] Anais Nin is an
author with French-Cuban roots.

00:19:36.667 --> 00:19:37.834
She shares Miller's
interest in the sexual.

00:19:37.999 --> 00:19:40.083
After meeting in 1932, they
begin a stormy relationship.

00:19:44.709 --> 00:19:49.709 position:20%
- He fell in love with her.

00:19:51.999 --> 00:19:53.667
I think with kind
of the image of her.

00:19:56.876 --> 00:19:58.626 position:20%
She was very quixotic and
mercurial and unpredictable

00:19:58.792 --> 00:20:03.209
and a strange kind of woman.

00:20:05.999 --> 00:20:10.999 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:20:59.999 --> 00:21:04.975 position:20%
- [Henry] Anais Nin, author
of the now-famous Diary,

00:21:04.999 --> 00:21:08.999
an inspiration to and a
protectress of so many

00:21:12.834 --> 00:21:14.125 position:20%
striving artists, including
yours truly, Henry Miller.

00:21:14.292 --> 00:21:17.999 position:20%
- I just finished this book
about writing and writers

00:21:18.083 --> 00:21:21.751
and I said that if they
would trust that people

00:21:21.918 --> 00:21:24.792
could do this, if they
trusted the artist to do the

00:21:24.959 --> 00:21:27.626
dreaming you see and then
instead of taking drugs, say--

00:21:27.792 --> 00:21:30.999
- Yeah.

00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:32.000
- They watched a
painting for a long time

00:21:32.167 --> 00:21:33.751
or watched a movie
for a long time

00:21:33.918 --> 00:21:35.334 position:20%
or trusted the artist or looked
at a painting very deeply

00:21:35.500 --> 00:21:39.125 position:20%
that they would be set
off on their own dreaming.

00:21:43.250 --> 00:21:44.375
(pensive music)

00:21:44.542 --> 00:21:46.500
- [Narrator] Anais
lives in Paris

00:21:46.667 --> 00:21:47.999 position:20%
with her American husband
Hugo, a rich banker

00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:50.834
who also longs to be
part of the art scene.

00:21:54.292 --> 00:21:55.876 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:23:17.334 --> 00:23:22.334
(solemn music)

00:23:26.626 --> 00:23:31.626
- Anais is the muse, I think.

00:23:31.792 --> 00:23:33.959 position:20% line:20%
He wrote Tropic of Cancer
on that explosion of

00:23:37.751 --> 00:23:39.999 line:20%
suddenly I am the
happiest man alive.

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:42.626 position:20%
I've no money, no hope, I
am the happiest man alive.

00:23:42.792 --> 00:23:45.667
It's wonderful, it's
like exuberance.

00:23:48.751 --> 00:23:52.584 line:20%
- And then of course there
was his crossing of the line

00:23:52.751 --> 00:23:56.000 line:20%
on what kind of language
we could use in a book,

00:23:56.167 --> 00:23:58.626 line:20%
what kinds of human
experiences could be described

00:23:58.792 --> 00:24:01.792
in a book, what features
of the human anatomy

00:24:01.959 --> 00:24:05.751
could be described in a book

00:24:05.918 --> 00:24:07.334
and how they could be described.

00:24:07.500 --> 00:24:09.792 position:20%
The kinds of words that
we would use to talk about

00:24:09.959 --> 00:24:11.626
sexual experience.

00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:14.792
He just, as he said, fuck it.

00:24:17.083 --> 00:24:21.167
I'm going to write what
I feel like writing.

00:24:21.334 --> 00:24:25.626
So that was a new
kind of experience.

00:24:28.709 --> 00:24:32.792
(solemn music)

00:24:32.959 --> 00:24:34.083 position:20%
- [Narrator] Tropic of
Cancer is banned in the USA

00:24:34.250 --> 00:24:36.125
until 1963.

00:24:37.042 --> 00:24:38.667
The puritanical
censors are relentless.

00:24:38.834 --> 00:24:42.042 line:20%
The English edition can
only be purchased in France.

00:24:42.209 --> 00:24:46.250 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:25:07.876 --> 00:25:12.876
- Miller certainly
influenced the Beats.

00:25:12.999 --> 00:25:15.999 position:20%
Kerouac and he
influenced Norman Mailer,

00:25:16.042 --> 00:25:19.000
he influenced Cormac McCarthy.

00:25:21.626 --> 00:25:23.250
So he's an important
figure in the story

00:25:26.667 --> 00:25:27.999
of 20th century
American literature.

00:25:30.999 --> 00:25:34.375
- Which means set it
free, setting it free.

00:25:34.542 --> 00:25:38.000 line:20%
If it hadn't been for
Olympia Press in Paris

00:25:41.834 --> 00:25:44.542 position:20% line:20%
which people had to smuggle
home in their suitcase,

00:25:44.709 --> 00:25:48.292
he would never have
been published.

00:25:48.459 --> 00:25:51.000
Can you imagine
what an explosion?

00:25:51.167 --> 00:25:53.542
And he's receiving
royalties for the first time

00:25:53.709 --> 00:25:56.999
in his life and
he can buy things.

00:25:59.918 --> 00:26:00.999
By then, he doesn't
care about money.

00:26:01.042 --> 00:26:03.999
Money is shit to him.

00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:06.250
But he has freedom.

00:26:07.999 --> 00:26:09.999
So there's a sense of
amazement and freedom.

00:26:13.667 --> 00:26:17.209
Reborn again.

00:26:17.375 --> 00:26:18.542
Henry's reborn and
reborn and reborn.

00:26:18.709 --> 00:26:21.209
In every epoch of his
life, he's reborn.

00:26:21.375 --> 00:26:24.000
(serene music)

00:26:24.167 --> 00:26:26.125
- [Narrator] This time
his rebirth takes place

00:26:26.292 --> 00:26:28.584
in California.

00:26:28.751 --> 00:26:30.083 position:20%
On the cliffs of Big Sur.

00:26:30.250 --> 00:26:32.667 position:20%
Henry Miller intends to retire
there with his third wife,

00:26:32.834 --> 00:26:35.751
Polish Janina Lepska

00:26:35.918 --> 00:26:37.626
and their two children,
Valentine and Tony.

00:26:41.125 --> 00:26:42.667
- [Arthur] A cabin became
available that he could have

00:26:42.834 --> 00:26:46.417
for $10 a month rent and
it was very primitive.

00:26:50.334 --> 00:26:53.876
- [Narrator] Miller writes
and meditates in this paradise

00:26:53.999 --> 00:26:56.542
and paints his
beloved watercolors.

00:26:59.375 --> 00:27:00.918
- There was no commerce there,
there was no industry there,

00:27:00.999 --> 00:27:03.584
it was very pure.

00:27:04.999 --> 00:27:07.417 line:20%
It resonated with him.

00:27:09.209 --> 00:27:11.083 position:20%
So he settled there and
stayed there for 17 years.

00:27:15.292 --> 00:27:16.709 position:20%
It was probably his longest
tenure in one place,

00:27:16.876 --> 00:27:21.375 position:20%
in one residence, outside of
his growing up in Brooklyn.

00:27:25.584 --> 00:27:26.999
(light music)

00:27:27.083 --> 00:27:29.417
(seagulls cawing)

00:27:29.584 --> 00:27:32.834 position:20%
- Everything that you
could want from a father,

00:27:32.999 --> 00:27:35.626 position:20%
from a place, was Big Sur.

00:27:37.834 --> 00:27:38.975
Just the natural
beauty of Big Sur.

00:27:38.999 --> 00:27:41.999 line:20%
But then having my father there.

00:27:44.626 --> 00:27:45.999 line:20%
That's something that
probably most other kids

00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:48.667 position:20%
that were there didn't have
because he's a storyteller.

00:27:48.834 --> 00:27:53.459
And we had no TV, radio
once in a while worked,

00:27:53.626 --> 00:27:57.709 position:20%
we didn't have a telephone.

00:27:57.876 --> 00:28:00.500 position:20%
So nights, around the dinner
table, we got stories.

00:28:00.667 --> 00:28:05.292 position:20%
And they were lovely stories
about all over the world.

00:28:05.459 --> 00:28:08.417
Whether they were true or not
made no difference whatsoever.

00:28:08.584 --> 00:28:11.209 position:20%
It took us on a geographical
trip and a mental trip

00:28:11.375 --> 00:28:14.975
and a spiritual trip and
we adored it, you know.

00:28:14.999 --> 00:28:18.834
(gentle music)

00:28:21.334 --> 00:28:24.876
We had a question like
what is this word,

00:28:24.999 --> 00:28:26.975 position:20%
what is this country, it's
instant, he had the answer.

00:28:26.999 --> 00:28:30.876 position:20%
He knew more people, places,
things, or said he did

00:28:34.999 --> 00:28:37.250
than anybody I've ever known.

00:28:37.417 --> 00:28:39.292
And believed.

00:28:39.459 --> 00:28:40.751 position:20%
See that's the difference,
we believed it.

00:28:40.918 --> 00:28:43.209
It was joyous.

00:28:44.417 --> 00:28:45.975 position:20%
He always had a nice glass
of wine with dinner or two

00:28:45.999 --> 00:28:48.584
and a gin and tonic
before dinner.

00:28:48.751 --> 00:28:51.999 position:20%
And I used to curl up on
his lap at the dinner table

00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:55.334
after dessert and he had a
corduroy coat he liked to wear

00:28:55.500 --> 00:28:59.375 position:20%
and it always smelled of
Pall Malls or Chesterfields

00:28:59.542 --> 00:29:02.959
and I love that
smell until this day.

00:29:07.999 --> 00:29:12.999
(waves washing)

00:29:22.876 --> 00:29:27.876
- The books that were
published in France

00:29:27.999 --> 00:29:30.042
were generating revenue for him,

00:29:30.209 --> 00:29:32.000
but he couldn't
get the money out.

00:29:32.167 --> 00:29:33.999 position:20%
Because of exchange laws.

00:29:35.999 --> 00:29:37.417
And the books that he was
publishing in the United States

00:29:37.584 --> 00:29:40.834
which were tame and
mild by comparison

00:29:43.999 --> 00:29:46.417
with these hot-selling
Paris books,

00:29:46.584 --> 00:29:48.542
weren't bringing him
very much income.

00:29:48.709 --> 00:29:51.792
So he was living
close to the bone,

00:29:51.959 --> 00:29:54.584
he was getting advances
from his publisher,

00:29:54.751 --> 00:29:57.250
he painted watercolors
and used them

00:29:57.417 --> 00:29:58.975
to barter for services.

00:29:58.999 --> 00:30:01.626
He would need work on
his teeth done and he'd

00:30:01.792 --> 00:30:04.584
give the dentist a watercolor.

00:30:04.751 --> 00:30:06.975
Now that dentist would be
happy to have the watercolor

00:30:06.999 --> 00:30:08.667
'cause they're selling
for $25,000, $30,000.

00:30:12.250 --> 00:30:13.751
But he was doing the thing
that he believed he had to do

00:30:17.500 --> 00:30:20.125
to be an artist
which was just write.

00:30:20.292 --> 00:30:22.417
(light music)

00:30:24.999 --> 00:30:26.959
- [Narrator] In 1963, Henry
Miller moves to Los Angeles.

00:30:26.999 --> 00:30:31.500
He is now 72, and likes things
to be a bit more comfortable.

00:30:35.709 --> 00:30:36.999 position:20%
The courts have just determined
that Tropic of Cancer

00:30:37.125 --> 00:30:39.542
can be sold in America so
there's finally money coming in.

00:30:39.709 --> 00:30:44.250
He moves into a villa
in Pacific Palisades

00:30:44.417 --> 00:30:47.083
but he remains a seeker.

00:31:10.999 --> 00:31:15.999 position:20%
- One of his wives, Lepska,
bought him that house

00:31:16.125 --> 00:31:19.626 line:20%
in the Pacific Palisades
because she was worried

00:31:19.792 --> 00:31:23.792 line:20%
that he'd be too
isolated in Big Sur.

00:31:23.959 --> 00:31:26.709 position:20% line:20%
And also he kept saying
that he was hounded by fans

00:31:26.876 --> 00:31:29.250
in Big Sur who would
come and bother him

00:31:29.417 --> 00:31:30.999
at all hours of the night and so

00:31:33.792 --> 00:31:36.667
it looked kind of like
a corny suburban house.

00:31:36.834 --> 00:31:39.999
It had columns, it
was white, it was like

00:31:40.125 --> 00:31:43.125
you would never think a
writer or a poet or an artist

00:31:43.292 --> 00:31:46.584 position:20%
would live in such a house.

00:31:46.751 --> 00:31:48.626
But the second you
opened the door

00:31:48.792 --> 00:31:50.709 position:20%
there was some atmosphere
that said I'm home,

00:31:50.876 --> 00:31:53.876 position:20%
I feel I can do anything,
I can be creative.

00:31:53.999 --> 00:31:57.500
He had posters all over
the walls like sometimes

00:31:57.667 --> 00:32:00.125
there were psychedelic posters.

00:32:00.292 --> 00:32:01.792 position:20%
He had tons of his watercolors
all over the walls.

00:32:01.959 --> 00:32:05.125
He had different writing
stations all throughout

00:32:05.292 --> 00:32:07.918
his house where he
sat and he typed

00:32:07.999 --> 00:32:09.999
on an old fashioned typewriter
and wrote letters and stuff.

00:32:10.083 --> 00:32:13.751
But then he would have visitors.

00:32:13.918 --> 00:32:15.876
People like Brassai and
Picasso's grandson and

00:32:15.999 --> 00:32:19.792
Lawrence Durell and
these Japanese women

00:32:22.999 --> 00:32:24.375
when he married
Hoki and all kinds.

00:32:24.542 --> 00:32:26.999 position:20%
And just a flow of people
who were interesting.

00:32:30.959 --> 00:32:32.292 position:20%
Jakob Gimpel, the pianist,
who was a concert pianist.

00:32:32.459 --> 00:32:35.999
Bronislau Kaper
who wrote the song

00:32:36.083 --> 00:32:38.834
Hi Lili, Hi Lili, Hi Lo.

00:32:38.999 --> 00:32:41.167
And he came over
and he was funny and

00:32:41.334 --> 00:32:44.083
I mean it was just
always someone special

00:32:44.250 --> 00:32:46.500
would be coming over.

00:32:46.667 --> 00:32:48.000
(piano music)

00:32:54.500 --> 00:32:59.417
(singing in foreign language)

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:45.000
To have dinner with him
at his house was like

00:33:45.167 --> 00:33:48.417
theater or literature or
something and I used to go out

00:33:48.584 --> 00:33:52.999
in the back to the
pool in the morning

00:33:53.042 --> 00:33:55.918
and maybe take a swim
or hang out and suddenly

00:33:55.999 --> 00:33:58.918
he'd open the sliding
door and say Tom,

00:33:58.999 --> 00:34:00.792
what's the temperature
of the pool?

00:34:00.959 --> 00:34:04.083
And I'd have to go
pull that pool thing up

00:34:04.250 --> 00:34:06.626
and look at the temperature.

00:34:06.792 --> 00:34:08.459
It was like a ritual.

00:34:08.626 --> 00:34:09.999
He wanted to know what the
temperature of the pool was.

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:12.626
(serene music)

00:34:17.209 --> 00:34:22.209 line:20%
- In terms of eroticism
he had this beautiful

00:34:22.375 --> 00:34:25.209 position:20% line:20%
young woman who had
introduced herself to him.

00:34:25.375 --> 00:34:28.292 position:20%
Her name was Brenda Venus
and she was absolutely

00:34:28.459 --> 00:34:31.584
gorgeous and she
was a Playboy nude.

00:34:34.584 --> 00:34:36.000 position:20%
Beautiful body, beautiful
woman, probably in her

00:34:36.167 --> 00:34:38.918
maybe mid thirties at this time

00:34:38.999 --> 00:34:41.751 position:20%
and so she introduced
herself to Henry somehow.

00:34:45.667 --> 00:34:46.999
I'm trying to think how
that happened, but whatever.

00:34:47.083 --> 00:34:49.292 position:20%
She was a fixture in the
house and she would come,

00:34:49.459 --> 00:34:51.584 position:20%
she didn't live there, but
she would come and see him

00:34:51.751 --> 00:34:56.125
and he wrote her, there's a
whole book, Dear Dear Brenda.

00:34:56.292 --> 00:34:59.975
And he wrote her
letters constantly.

00:34:59.999 --> 00:35:03.167
Huge letters.

00:35:03.334 --> 00:35:04.751
You know 10, 12 pages letters.

00:35:04.918 --> 00:35:07.792
They were immense and
it's a lovely book

00:35:07.959 --> 00:35:09.975
and she would, as I
said, once in a while

00:35:09.999 --> 00:35:12.334
walk around nude which
gave him great pleasure

00:35:12.500 --> 00:35:14.751
to look at her.

00:35:15.999 --> 00:35:17.083
But it was just sort of
an octogenarian romance

00:35:20.918 --> 00:35:23.000
I guess I'd say.

00:35:23.167 --> 00:35:24.542
More with the idea of
something than the actuality

00:35:24.709 --> 00:35:27.250
or reality of doing anything.

00:35:29.751 --> 00:35:31.834 position:20%
- [Narrator] Miller
enjoys the bizarre, unreal

00:35:31.999 --> 00:35:33.999
side of life here.

00:35:34.125 --> 00:35:36.375
He's attracted to
Hollywood and its stars.

00:35:36.542 --> 00:35:39.542
As well as the trashy
part of the city.

00:35:39.709 --> 00:35:42.000 position:20%
To him everything here seems
somehow sexually charged.

00:35:42.167 --> 00:35:46.999 position:20%
And some of it reminds
him of his time in Paris.

00:35:52.417 --> 00:35:57.417 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:37:03.250 --> 00:37:08.250
- He was that hot commodity
when Tropic of Cancer came out

00:37:08.417 --> 00:37:11.876
finally, but again it was
like always let's talk about

00:37:11.999 --> 00:37:16.626 position:20% line:20%
the sex and this and that.

00:37:16.792 --> 00:37:19.000 line:20%
If you don't mind me
segueing for a second.

00:37:19.167 --> 00:37:22.125
This woman and man came
up from South America.

00:37:25.999 --> 00:37:27.751 position:20%
For some reason my dad
had told them it was okay

00:37:27.918 --> 00:37:29.834
for them to come up.

00:37:29.999 --> 00:37:30.999
And they showed up with
a full poodle, okay?

00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:34.500
Not a toy poodle, but
full-sized poodle.

00:37:34.667 --> 00:37:37.751 position:20%
But done with all that weird
haircut and everything.

00:37:37.918 --> 00:37:40.999 position:20%
They sit down and they have
a nice lunch and everything

00:37:41.042 --> 00:37:43.375
and then the woman gets
up and says something

00:37:43.542 --> 00:37:46.500
to the dog and
pulls her dress up.

00:37:46.667 --> 00:37:48.209 position:20%
The dog goes up underneath.

00:37:48.375 --> 00:37:50.250
Performs cunnilingus.

00:37:50.417 --> 00:37:52.000
Okay?

00:37:52.999 --> 00:37:55.975
I mean...

00:37:55.999 --> 00:37:57.083
Flabber...

00:37:57.250 --> 00:37:58.792
My dad was just...

00:37:58.959 --> 00:38:00.417 position:20%
Like this is what they
thought he was and wanted.

00:38:00.584 --> 00:38:03.334
This is almost through our lives

00:38:03.500 --> 00:38:06.209
things like this have happened.

00:38:06.375 --> 00:38:08.167
(pensive music)

00:38:08.334 --> 00:38:11.334 position:20%
- He invented this persona

00:38:13.542 --> 00:38:14.999 position:20% line:20%
which was a rebel, a man
who did nothing but fuck.

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.584 position:20% line:20%
He wasn't like that at all.

00:38:21.876 --> 00:38:23.125 position:20% line:20%
He was very romantic and there
was a sweetness about him.

00:38:26.999 --> 00:38:29.083 position:20%
And I think he invented
that fuck rogue character

00:38:33.167 --> 00:38:35.334
because it was the
opposite of him.

00:38:35.500 --> 00:38:38.999
- Now in this...

00:38:39.083 --> 00:38:40.999
- When Henry would plunge
into relationships with women

00:38:41.042 --> 00:38:45.250 position:20%
and he would do this kind
of projection onto them

00:38:45.417 --> 00:38:49.167
and then he would
see their frailties,

00:38:49.334 --> 00:38:52.459
their weaknesses,
their vulnerabilities,

00:38:52.626 --> 00:38:54.375 line:20%
that they were human, and
didn't conform to the ideal,

00:38:58.542 --> 00:38:59.626 line:20%
then disillusionment
would set in

00:38:59.792 --> 00:39:01.667
and he wasn't really
able to relate I think

00:39:01.834 --> 00:39:04.584
to very many women
on what I would call

00:39:07.918 --> 00:39:08.999
kind of a mature,
realistic basis.

00:39:11.709 --> 00:39:12.918
And I think this is why
he just had all these

00:39:12.999 --> 00:39:15.975
serial relationships
and never really found

00:39:15.999 --> 00:39:19.334
what he was looking for
because it couldn't be found.

00:39:19.500 --> 00:39:22.042
(serene music)

00:39:22.209 --> 00:39:23.918 position:20%
- [Narrator] In 1967 he gets
married for a fifth time,

00:39:23.999 --> 00:39:27.125
to Hoki, a Japanese
nightclub singer

00:39:27.292 --> 00:39:29.751 position:20%
who takes advantage of him
and often leaves him alone.

00:39:29.918 --> 00:39:34.417
Three years later
she abandons Henry.

00:39:34.584 --> 00:39:36.999
His infirmities quickly increase

00:39:37.125 --> 00:39:38.918
and he will require
around the clock care.

00:39:42.292 --> 00:39:43.375
- It wasn't a big drama.

00:39:43.542 --> 00:39:44.975
It wasn't a big drama.

00:39:44.999 --> 00:39:46.042
I mean, he was holding
court every night at his

00:39:46.209 --> 00:39:47.999
dinner table almost
to the very end,

00:39:48.000 --> 00:39:49.834 line:20%
even with his head falling
down then we'd pick it back up

00:39:49.999 --> 00:39:52.375 line:20%
and in his pajamas,
always clean.

00:39:55.083 --> 00:39:56.626 position:20%
And he just, as he said, we
have to accept what comes,

00:39:56.792 --> 00:39:59.375
don't you know?

00:39:59.542 --> 00:40:00.876
I mean there's this
wonderful story about how he

00:40:00.999 --> 00:40:02.584
got up in the middle
of the night one night

00:40:02.751 --> 00:40:04.626 position:20%
to go to the bathroom and
when he got in the bathroom

00:40:04.792 --> 00:40:07.999 position:20%
he sat down on the floor
and the door closed on him

00:40:08.042 --> 00:40:12.209
and when Bill Pickerow who
was there taking care of him

00:40:12.375 --> 00:40:15.125 position:20%
found him the next morning,

00:40:15.292 --> 00:40:16.667
Henry was on the
floor talking to

00:40:16.834 --> 00:40:18.083 position:20%
the people on the wall,
his bathroom was legendary

00:40:18.250 --> 00:40:20.999
because he had all of these
pictures of people on the wall.

00:40:21.042 --> 00:40:24.375 position:20%
Famous people, not famous
people, and he would be

00:40:24.542 --> 00:40:27.542
talking to this
one and that one.

00:40:27.709 --> 00:40:29.167
(gentle music)

00:40:33.542 --> 00:40:38.542
(water running)

00:40:41.125 --> 00:40:42.375
- We're traveling,
not around the world

00:40:42.542 --> 00:40:45.417 position:20%
but around my bathroom
which is a little microcosm

00:40:45.584 --> 00:40:48.792
like the world.

00:40:48.959 --> 00:40:50.500 position:20%
Now for instance is really
I think one of the things

00:40:50.667 --> 00:40:53.918 position:20%
that are the most magical
to me in this whole room.

00:40:53.999 --> 00:40:57.375
That (speaking foreign
language) castle by

00:40:57.542 --> 00:41:00.042 position:20%
the mad Ludwig of Bavaria.

00:41:00.209 --> 00:41:02.751
He was truly a mad
architectural poet

00:41:05.876 --> 00:41:06.959
and that is his
greatest piece of work.

00:41:06.999 --> 00:41:09.876
He ruined the state of
Bavaria, the kingdom,

00:41:09.999 --> 00:41:12.999
by the expenditures
on his castles.

00:41:13.042 --> 00:41:16.083 position:20%
To me it's a magic castle.

00:41:16.250 --> 00:41:18.918
The outside and the
inside, all marvelous.

00:41:22.292 --> 00:41:23.167
Yeah.

00:41:23.999 --> 00:41:26.542 position:20%
Tom, over here in this corner
I have a couple of photos

00:41:30.751 --> 00:41:32.959
that I put up here
expressly for people

00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:38.334
who want to be shocked.

00:41:38.500 --> 00:41:39.975 position:20%
They're people who
already heard a great deal

00:41:39.999 --> 00:41:41.999
about the walls in this bathroom

00:41:42.083 --> 00:41:44.542
and they imagine
all sorts of things.

00:41:44.709 --> 00:41:46.999
If you notice if you look around

00:41:47.000 --> 00:41:49.000 position:20%
there's nothing really
very obscene on the walls.

00:41:49.167 --> 00:41:52.459
They're largely curiosities.

00:41:54.876 --> 00:41:56.083 position:20%
But I put these expressly
for those people,

00:41:56.250 --> 00:41:59.417 position:20%
what would you call them,
who are looking always

00:41:59.584 --> 00:42:01.459
for dirty stuff, do you know?

00:42:06.334 --> 00:42:11.334
Here's a wonderful zen story.

00:42:11.500 --> 00:42:13.792
It's about a monk called
Roshibobo which in English means

00:42:17.999 --> 00:42:20.000
master of fuck.

00:42:20.167 --> 00:42:21.975
Now the title
shouldn't throw anyone

00:42:21.999 --> 00:42:24.417
and may not mean exactly
what people think,

00:42:24.584 --> 00:42:27.500
but there's one thing
you can say about

00:42:27.667 --> 00:42:30.667
the master of fuck, that this
fuck is an extraordinary one

00:42:34.876 --> 00:42:35.959
like none that ever was before.

00:42:35.999 --> 00:42:38.751 position:20%
The whole story concerns a
young man 15 years of age

00:42:42.959 --> 00:42:44.542
whose parents sent him to a
zen monastery to become a monk

00:42:44.709 --> 00:42:48.959
and of course to
receive enlightenment.

00:42:48.999 --> 00:42:51.542 position:20%
Finally after 15 years,
he would go out and enjoy

00:42:51.709 --> 00:42:55.375
earthly life, you know?

00:42:57.250 --> 00:42:58.500
Be a man of the world if
he couldn't be a monk.

00:42:58.667 --> 00:43:02.125 position:20%
So he slipped out one night
with his bag and baggage

00:43:02.292 --> 00:43:05.667
and he wandered into
the red light district

00:43:09.167 --> 00:43:10.375
and there he encountered
a girl, seemed to him

00:43:10.542 --> 00:43:13.542
like a geisha, and he went
to bed with her immediately.

00:43:17.751 --> 00:43:20.125
So in the midst of this
marvelous experience,

00:43:23.999 --> 00:43:25.542
he suddenly has what he
couldn't get in the monastery,

00:43:25.709 --> 00:43:29.334 position:20%
the experience of satori.

00:43:29.500 --> 00:43:31.209 position:20% line:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:43:56.792 --> 00:44:01.709
(pensive music)

00:44:01.876 --> 00:44:04.292 position:20%
- [Narrator] Hollywood is
no replacement for Paris.

00:44:04.459 --> 00:44:07.792
The turning point in his life.

00:44:07.959 --> 00:44:09.918
He now daydreams about
it more and more often.

00:44:17.999 --> 00:44:22.999
It's true he was hungry
and homeless in France,

00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:26.083 position:20%
but he also received great
recognition as an author.

00:44:26.250 --> 00:44:31.083
In America he is denied
recognition to the end.

00:44:31.250 --> 00:44:35.584
He remains an outcast.

00:44:41.999 --> 00:44:46.975
The medal of the
French Legion of Honor

00:44:46.999 --> 00:44:48.751
which is bestowed on him
shortly before his death

00:44:48.918 --> 00:44:51.417
is a final highlight
for Henry Miller.

00:44:54.626 --> 00:44:55.876
- The day comes, my dad,
bathrobe, and the French

00:44:59.834 --> 00:45:00.918
consul general comes.

00:45:00.999 --> 00:45:02.500
Just a wonderful man.

00:45:02.667 --> 00:45:03.999 position:20%
And of course he spoke
the most beautiful French

00:45:04.000 --> 00:45:05.999
you've ever heard in your life.

00:45:06.125 --> 00:45:08.209
Right?

00:45:08.375 --> 00:45:09.792 position:20%
So he comes and this speech
is like 15 minutes long

00:45:09.959 --> 00:45:12.751
and it's all in French.

00:45:12.918 --> 00:45:14.918 position:20% line:20%
Telling my father his
contribution to the French

00:45:18.918 --> 00:45:21.459
and to the world.

00:45:22.999 --> 00:45:24.334
I tell you.

00:45:24.500 --> 00:45:25.334
(crying)

00:45:25.500 --> 00:45:26.626
Like me, I mean he
was just crying.

00:45:29.250 --> 00:45:30.459
And then they pin it on
him, on his bathrobe.

00:45:30.626 --> 00:45:34.500
And afterwards everybody
had a little salutation.

00:45:38.626 --> 00:45:39.999 position:20%
(speaking foreign language)

00:45:40.042 --> 00:45:42.626
And everything and it was
over and it was magnificent.

00:45:42.792 --> 00:45:45.417
(serene music)

00:45:51.999 --> 00:45:56.999 position:20%
- [Narrator] Anais Nin,
perhaps the most important

00:45:57.042 --> 00:45:58.792 position:20%
woman in his life, visits Henry
Miller a couple more times

00:45:58.959 --> 00:46:02.042
to talk about the
old Parisian days.

00:46:02.209 --> 00:46:05.334 position:20%
She dies of cancer in 1977,
three years before him.

00:46:09.542 --> 00:46:11.000
- [Anais] I never
believed people who
say that the obsession

00:46:11.167 --> 00:46:14.999
of death you remember
that Franco had and--

00:46:15.083 --> 00:46:17.417 position:20%
- Yes.
- And that you shared that

00:46:17.584 --> 00:46:18.626
and I said no, I
didn't think so ever.

00:46:18.792 --> 00:46:20.584
You played with them and
their own terminology

00:46:20.751 --> 00:46:24.999 position:20%
if you want but you never were
very concerned about that.

00:46:25.083 --> 00:46:28.709
- Yes.

00:46:28.876 --> 00:46:29.709
Well I tell you--

00:46:29.876 --> 00:46:31.000 position:20%
- About destruction,
destruction of the world.

00:46:31.167 --> 00:46:33.125 position:20%
- But what they were talking
about really Anais was

00:46:33.292 --> 00:46:36.375
death and life, which
so many people come to.

00:46:36.542 --> 00:46:39.209
- Ah yes.
- Death and life,

00:46:39.375 --> 00:46:40.209
don't you know?
- Yes, yes.

00:46:40.375 --> 00:46:41.292
- I think.

00:46:41.459 --> 00:46:42.584
- But you didn't know
anything about that.

00:46:42.751 --> 00:46:43.834
(laughing)

00:46:43.999 --> 00:46:45.167 position:20%
- No, but I become more aware
of it all the time though.

00:46:45.334 --> 00:46:49.083
- That there are people
who are dead in life.

00:46:49.250 --> 00:46:50.999
- Oh yes, right, and
that's the only death,

00:46:51.042 --> 00:46:53.584
that's the real death.

00:46:53.751 --> 00:46:54.999
Not this death when
you depart the body,

00:46:55.125 --> 00:46:57.751 position:20%
but being dead while you're
alive, that's real death.

00:46:57.918 --> 00:47:00.918
(pensive music)

00:47:04.834 --> 00:47:09.834 position:20%
- I think great suffering,
poverty, living in Paris

00:47:09.999 --> 00:47:13.626
with no money, begging on the
streets for a crust of bread,

00:47:13.792 --> 00:47:17.918
you know what I mean?

00:47:17.999 --> 00:47:19.209
He went to the very, very
bottom and then he saw the light

00:47:19.375 --> 00:47:23.500
so to speak.

00:47:23.667 --> 00:47:24.975
He let himself go
all the way down.

00:47:24.999 --> 00:47:27.042
And that's what he
also advised to me.

00:47:27.209 --> 00:47:29.209
If you're depressed,
be depressed.

00:47:29.375 --> 00:47:31.375
Be as depressed as
you possibly can,

00:47:31.542 --> 00:47:33.999
but you're gonna come up again.

00:47:34.083 --> 00:47:36.000 line:20%
And also, just being
is sometimes enough.

00:47:36.167 --> 00:47:39.751 line:20%
He also said that.

00:47:39.918 --> 00:47:40.999 line:20%
He said doing nothing is okay.

00:47:41.083 --> 00:47:43.667 position:20%
There's all of this
pressure on society to go

00:47:43.834 --> 00:47:46.500
earn a living, earn, which is
a bunch of nonsense, you see.

00:47:46.667 --> 00:47:50.542 position:20%
And he said sometimes just
existing is sufficient.

00:47:50.709 --> 00:47:53.667
(serene music)

00:48:10.626 --> 00:48:15.626 position:20%
- [Henry] If we get through
this bloody business

00:48:15.792 --> 00:48:17.999
we can thank all
the gods there are

00:48:18.083 --> 00:48:20.083 position:20%
plus the supreme being and
mother Kali mother of all.

00:48:24.292 --> 00:48:25.834 position:20%
What are we here for if
not to enjoy life eternal,

00:48:25.999 --> 00:48:29.375 position:20%
solve what problems we can,
give light, peace, and joy

00:48:29.542 --> 00:48:33.975 position:20%
to our fellow man, and leave
this dear fucked up planet

00:48:33.999 --> 00:48:38.292
a little healthier
than when we were born?

00:48:41.999 --> 00:48:46.999
- Dad I think wanted to
believe up until he died

00:48:50.999 --> 00:48:52.375 position:20%
that there was something
better, but we never talked

00:48:52.542 --> 00:48:54.292 position:20%
about god as an
existence, as an example.

00:48:54.459 --> 00:48:58.292 line:20%
But he was afraid
of how you die.

00:48:58.459 --> 00:49:01.709 position:20% line:20%
Because everybody and
everybody's family has the

00:49:01.876 --> 00:49:04.626 line:20%
horror story.

00:49:05.751 --> 00:49:07.125
His mother.

00:49:07.292 --> 00:49:08.959 position:20%
We all remember he flew
back and it took six months

00:49:08.999 --> 00:49:12.709
for her to die.

00:49:12.876 --> 00:49:14.125
And then he made paintings of
her that her eyes popped open

00:49:14.292 --> 00:49:18.000
when he went to see
her in the mortuary.

00:49:18.167 --> 00:49:20.792
Like her last fuck you to him.

00:49:20.959 --> 00:49:23.876
I think he died in the morning,

00:49:23.999 --> 00:49:25.667 position:20%
and the last secretary he
had says I'm calling you

00:49:25.834 --> 00:49:28.167
from Palm Springs, I
think your dad is dead.

00:49:31.999 --> 00:49:34.125 position:20%
So I went down the next
day and yeah, he was dead.

00:49:38.334 --> 00:49:40.667
- In fact, I don't know
now whether I'm really

00:49:40.834 --> 00:49:42.999
awake or dreaming.

00:49:44.500 --> 00:49:45.751
My whole past seems
like one long dream

00:49:45.918 --> 00:49:48.542 position:20%
punctured with nightmares.

00:49:48.709 --> 00:49:50.999
(pensive music)

00:49:53.999 --> 00:49:58.975
- I don't think that he
ever got over his need

00:49:58.999 --> 00:50:02.125 position:20%
to reconstruct his mother.

00:50:04.334 --> 00:50:05.709
I think that stayed with
him until the very end.

00:50:05.876 --> 00:50:08.292
He never integrated with
his own feminine inside

00:50:12.292 --> 00:50:14.125 line:20%
and lost the need
to find it outside

00:50:14.292 --> 00:50:17.667 line:20%
in a form that was
conformed to this ideal

00:50:17.834 --> 00:50:21.125 line:20%
he was carrying.

00:50:21.292 --> 00:50:22.975
And I think that's maybe
why he felt this letdown

00:50:22.999 --> 00:50:26.975
when he had completed Nexus.

00:50:26.999 --> 00:50:29.042 position:20%
He kind of knew that the
transformation that he had

00:50:29.209 --> 00:50:32.792 position:20%
hoped would happen through
the art hadn't happened.

00:50:32.959 --> 00:50:36.999
So he certainly achieved
his literary ambitions

00:50:40.999 --> 00:50:43.542
but whether he achieved
his highest goal

00:50:46.959 --> 00:50:48.999
which is this
self-transformation,
this transcendence,

00:50:49.125 --> 00:50:51.999 position:20%
to reach your highest self,
the kind of thing that

00:50:52.042 --> 00:50:55.667
Buddhist monks are
trying to achieve,

00:50:58.709 --> 00:50:59.542
I don't think he did.

00:50:59.709 --> 00:51:01.626
(murmuring)

00:51:01.792 --> 00:51:03.792
- [Narrator] But Henry
Miller does not see his life

00:51:03.959 --> 00:51:05.417
as a failure.

00:51:05.584 --> 00:51:06.999
(clapping)

00:51:07.042 --> 00:51:08.500
Not someone like him, who
lived from moment to moment.

00:51:12.584 --> 00:51:13.751
Who was Henry Miller?

00:51:13.918 --> 00:51:15.999
(piano music)

00:51:16.083 --> 00:51:17.209
Perhaps the rest of
us are more interested

00:51:17.375 --> 00:51:18.709
in the answer to this
question than he was himself.

00:51:22.500 --> 00:51:24.999
(dramatic music)