The Only Son
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A story about the challenge of keeping Dolpo’s ancient culture alive as the area becomes less isolated. It centers on Pema’s parents’ expectation that Pema will return to Dolpo when he completes his education, marry a Dolpapa woman, and manage the family’s land. As the only son, this is his role in Dolpo’s traditional culture. Pema is torn between his duty to the family and his desire to live the modern life that he now prefers. The film is primarily shot in Karang, a village at 13,000 feet in Upper Dolpo one of the most remote areas of Nepal.
Two of Pema’s sisters are adopted: Dorje in America and Sumchog in the Netherlands. Both are artists and received bachelor in Fine Arts. Dorje is the author of, “Yak Girl: Growing Up in the Remote Dolpo Region of Nepal”. Two younger sisters, Dolma is currently studying in college and Tsering is finishing her high school and she will go to college next. Pema received his bachelor and master’s degree in the Netherlands and currently works there and visits Nepal often to spend time with the family. The second oldest sister, Chunzombuty lives in Dolpo and is married and happy her children can go to their village school now. Due to health issues and Dolpo not having hospitals, the parents mostly stay in Kathmandu where they have more access to medical care.
The family says, “It was not easy to put our personal lives in the public but we hope our stories will inspire and educate others about the unique Dolpo culture and spread awareness the need for medical and educational resources in Dolpo, Nepal. It is very difficult to survive in Dolpo without proper health care. We lost five of our siblings and our sister, Chunzombuty lost three children. We are extremely grateful our parents made multiple a month-long trek from Dolpo to Kathmandu in order to save our lives from life-threatening health conditions. Without our parent’s bravery, most of us will not be a live today. We currently support and collaborate with several organizations that support people in Nepal especially in Dolpo with education and medical care. And we will continue to advocate health and education need for remote people. Thank you First Hand Films for helping us tell our stories!“.
Citation
Main credits
Jong, Simonka de (film director)
Jong, Simonka de (screenwriter)
Borgdorff, Carolijn (film producer)
Other credits
Camera, Wiro Felix [and 3 others]; editor, Menno Boerema, Erik van de Belt.
Distributor subjects
No distributor subjects provided.Keywords
VOICE OVER
00:03:40:11 00:03:44:24
This is where I was born,
and where my parents still live
00:03:45:18 00:03:49:11
Karang, a village high in
the Himalayas in Nepal.
00:03:51:06 00:03:55:09
But me and 5 of my sisters
couldn’t survive there
00:03:57:18 00:04:03:10
My parents brought us to a children’s home
in Kathmandu, one by one
00:04:05:04 00:04:08:12
First, my eldest sister Dorje
00:04:08:16 00:04:13:09
She had a serious back problem
and could go to the US for surgery.
00:04:13:13 00:04:16:14
She was raised by an American couple .
00:04:18:01 00:04:24:01
Few years later, my second sister Sumchog
was left in Kathmandu.
00:04:24:05 00:04:28:04
She rolled into a fire and
was seriously burned.
00:04:28:08 00:04:31:05
A Dutch woman adopted her.
00:04:34:18 00:04:36:18
Then me, pema.
00:04:37:24 00:04:41:10
When I was 8,
I nearly died of Meazles.
00:04:43:09 00:04:48:02
My father brought me to Kathmandu
and left me in the Childrens home.
00:04:48:06 00:04:53:10
I was happy there, and lived a different
life in the big city.
00:04:56:19 00:04:59:03
I had to study hard at school.
0016 00:05:00:03 00:05:04:00
The village, and my parents,
soon felt far away.
00:05:14:08 00:05:17:22
My 2 younger sisters,
Dolma and Tsering.
00:05:18:22 00:05:23:11
I convinced my parents they should
have an education, like me.
00:05:23:15 00:05:29:05
They missed our parents at first,
but soon I was like a father to them.
00:05:41:17 00:05:44:03
It’s my dream to be a photographer.
00:05:44:07 00:05:48:05
Travel around the world and meet new people.
00:05:48:09 00:05:51:11
I hope to live in the West,
like my 2 sisters.
00:05:51:15 00:05:55:01
Work to make a career and follow my heart.
00:06:07:02 00:06:12:12
3 years ago, my parents came back
with an unexpected message.
00:06:12:16 00:06:17:03
They wanted me to come back home
and marry a local girl.
0001 00:06:19:14 00:06:24:06
We're getting older,
we tend to forget things.
0002 00:06:24:10 00:06:29:16
You're our only hope now.
0003 00:06:29:20 00:06:34:01
We heard you did something stupid
at the children's home
0004 00:06:34:05 00:06:37:08
and, of course, as parents
we're very worried.
0005 00:06:37:12 00:06:44:14
We told the children's home that we're
glad our son is getting an education.
0006 00:06:44:18 00:06:48:15
I heard them talking about you.
0007 00:06:48:19 00:06:51:11
It might be a good idea for you to...
0008 00:06:52:19 00:06:57:23
You keep refusing to marry.
It's a never-ending story.
0009 00:06:58:02 00:07:01:07
That's causing me a lot of worry.
0010 00:07:01:11 00:07:04:22
Sometimes I can't eat
because of the stress.
0011 00:07:05:01 00:07:08:12
You keep disagreeing with
our choice of girls for you to marry.
0012 00:07:08:16 00:07:09:20
I want an educated wife.
0013 00:07:09:24 00:07:14:02
All the girls we suggested
have been to school till 10th grade.
0014 00:07:14:06 00:07:18:01
We also know girls
who have not been to school.
0015 00:07:18:05 00:07:26:14
We know a relative with two children who
have lived in the city since childhood.
0016 00:07:26:18 00:07:31:01
The girl is studying here
and the son lives abroad.
0017 00:07:31:05 00:07:34:13
She could be a good option for you,
but she is very young.
VOICE OVER
00:08:05:07 00:08:07:17
I did not go back to the village.
00:08:07:21 00:08:11:01
And recently I got a chance to study in the Netherlands
00:08:11:05 00:08:14:19
and live with my sister Sumchog
and her Dutch mom.
00:08:14:23 00:08:19:03
When I arrived, my American sister
Dorje came over for a visit
00:08:19:07 00:08:22:24
so that the 3 of us could spend
some time together.
00:08:47:16 00:08:51:15
Dorje, Sumchog and me always kept
in touch through the internet
00:08:51:19 00:08:55:05
but it’s the first time
we are together again.
00:08:58:01 00:09:02:21
We cannot speak the same language anymore.
We have to talk in English.
0018 00:09:23:16 00:09:25:13
One, two, three.
- One, two, three.
0019 00:09:25:17 00:09:27:17
One, two, three, four, five.
0020 00:09:27:23 00:09:32:07
One, two, three...
eight, nine, ten.
0021 00:09:32:11 00:09:34:04
Thank you.
- Chicken soup.
0022 00:09:34:08 00:09:37:23
Oh, you spoke Dutch. You learn quickly.
- Thank you for everything.
0023 00:09:38:02 00:09:39:15
Very good.
0024 00:09:39:19 00:09:41:14
Chicken soup.
0025 00:09:42:21 00:09:43:24
Here you are.
0026 00:09:52:05 00:09:54:13
Cheers.
VOICE OVER
00:09:56:18 00:10:01:21
Dorje had to go back to the US and I have started
studying Tourism Management.
00:10:02:21 00:10:07:17
My new foster mother thinks it is the best
option for me to make a career.
00:10:08:24 00:10:14:06
Now when i am finally living in Holland,
I feel homesick for Kathmandu.
00:10:16:13 00:10:19:10
Stop. Your time is up.
00:10:19:14 00:10:23:17
Would you please count the
number of words, Pema ?
00:10:37:18 00:10:41:05
My sister Sumchog is my
only close friend.
00:10:41:09 00:10:46:10
Sometimes we share the same room again,
like we did when we were small.
00:10:47:22 00:10:50:14
He passed away. Really.
00:10:55:18 00:10:59:14
I feel further away from
my parents than ever.
00:10:59:18 00:11:04:12
But then I hear from them again.
There is a phone now in the village.
0027 00:11:05:19 00:11:08:19
Mum, are you OK?
0028 00:11:10:08 00:11:14:19
I'm not too well, I had to go
to hospital lots of times.
0029 00:11:14:23 00:11:19:00
What's wrong?
Why did you go to hospital?
0030 00:11:19:16 00:11:25:10
I don't know, I hurt all over.
I went to Shechen hospital.
0031 00:11:25:14 00:11:27:13
What's the matter?
0032 00:11:30:15 00:11:32:14
What's the matter?
- What did you say?
0033 00:11:32:18 00:11:36:12
What's the matter with you?
What's the matter?
0034 00:11:36:16 00:11:40:09
The doctor said that it was a problem
with my heart, pain in my heart.
0035 00:11:41:19 00:11:42:23
Well then... I'll...
0036 00:11:43:02 00:11:48:01
They say it's caused by
your stubborn behaviour.
0037 00:11:48:05 00:11:52:06
As for your marriage,
you'd better come up with some ideas.
0038 00:11:52:10 00:11:54:18
We're having a hard time.
0039 00:11:55:17 00:11:57:06
Marriage again...
0040 00:11:57:10 00:12:00:13
Concentrate on your health.
Marriage isn't important.
0041 00:12:00:17 00:12:02:17
You go on about
this stupid marriage.
0042 00:12:03:02 00:12:06:22
You... You say me not listening
to you makes you anxious
0043 00:12:07:01 00:12:09:16
but I get stressed
when you go on about it.
0044 00:12:09:20 00:12:11:16
You should all come to the village.
0045 00:12:11:20 00:12:14:21
You're fortunate to be abroad
but I worry about your sisters,
0046 00:12:15:00 00:12:16:18
because you're not with them.
VOICE OVER
00:12:16:22 00:12:21:22
I can’t escape my mum,
not even at the other end of the globe.
.
00:12:22:17 00:12:27:04
I have to decide if I will return to the village
to help my parents
00:12:27:08 00:12:31:16
or live in the West and
follow my own dreams.
00:12:35:11 00:12:38:23
I must go back to Karang,
to find a solution.
00:12:39:02 00:12:41:23
Sumchog wants to come with me,
to support me
00:12:42:02 00:12:45:10
and because she’s longing
for a family reunion.
00:12:45:17 00:12:49:16
We agree to take our 2 younger sisters as well.
0047 00:13:12:00 00:13:13:06
How are you?
- Fine.
0048 00:13:13:10 00:13:14:23
What?
- I'm fine!
0049 00:13:21:14 00:13:24:14
Everything's good?
- Yeah.
0050 00:13:28:04 00:13:30:13
Take that one, Tsering.
0051 00:14:02:03 00:14:05:05
Namaste.
- Welcome.
0052 00:14:13:15 00:14:14:20
Everything OK?
- Yes.
0053 00:14:14:24 00:14:16:10
When did you arrive?
- Today.
0054 00:14:16:14 00:14:19:05
Pema has changed a lot.
0055 00:14:21:12 00:14:25:09
Everything OK with you too?
You've lost weight.
0056 00:14:27:11 00:14:30:18
Namaste.
- Welcome.Namaste.
0057 00:14:30:22 00:14:32:16
Welcome.
0058 00:14:34:22 00:14:36:12
How are you, OK?
- I'm fine. You?
0059 00:14:36:16 00:14:39:01
Everything's fine.
- You look very fit.
0060 00:14:39:10 00:14:45:02
A small gift, Miss Radha.
- Thank you.
0061 00:14:46:00 00:14:48:01
Oh, Pemba!
0062 00:14:48:05 00:14:52:14
How are you?
- Fine.
VOICE OVER
00:14:58:03 00:15:01:01
Sumchog doesn’t have any memories of living here.
00:15:01:05 00:15:06:22
she was too young and only stayed here for a
couple of months before she was adopted.
00:15:09:05 00:15:12:19
Dolma and Tsering still live in the Children’s Home.
00:15:12:23 00:15:17:16
They grew up here together but
Sumchog hardly knows them.
.
0063 00:15:58:24 00:16:03:11
Hello, Dad! We've arrived safely.
Sumchog is here as well.
0064 00:16:07:04 00:16:11:17
What?
- How long till you get here?
0065 00:16:11:21 00:16:17:08
I don't know.
I'll try to call you from Tarap.
0066 00:16:18:04 00:16:21:01
Sumchog needs help.
I'll come and collect you.
0067 00:16:21:05 00:16:27:20
You don't have to worry about us.
We're coming with a guide.
VOICE OVER
00:16:31:07 00:16:35:08
When my father brought me to Kathmandu,
he had to walk for a month
00:16:35:12 00:16:40:01
carrying me on his back crossing
countless mountain passes..
00:16:41:07 00:16:45:06
Now we will cover most of the
distance with 2 small airplanes
00:16:45:10 00:16:48:13
and then we still have to
walk for 10 days.
00:16:50:17 00:16:56:13
We will do it like westerners, with a guide,
sherpa’s and mules to carry our tents.
00:16:57:07 00:17:03:06
Karang lies in upper Dolpa, border area
with Nepal where mostly Tibetans live.
00:17:25:21 00:17:29:18
I remember the smell of the
mountain flowers in summer..
00:17:29:22 00:17:33:02
In winter, our village would
be covered in snow
00:17:33:06 00:17:36:12
and I had to stay inside near
the fire for weeks on end.
00:18:21:08 00:18:25:24
After a few days we have to stop to
get used to the high altitude.
00:18:26:03 00:18:30:12
We still have to pass a cross
of over 5000 meters.
00:18:33:11 00:18:35:17
When I am not around
to translate,
00:18:35:21 00:18:39:00
Sumchog can hardly understand
our little sisters.
.
00:18:39:04 00:18:43:13
I speak English with Sumchog,
Nepalese with my younger sisters
00:18:43:17 00:18:46:05
and Tibetan with my parents.
0068 00:19:53:01 00:19:55:00
What's up, Dolma?
- It hurts.
0069 00:19:55:04 00:19:56:19
Does your back hurt?
- Yes.
0070 00:19:56:23 00:19:58:11
Show me.
0071 00:20:06:05 00:20:07:09
Where?
0072 00:20:10:03 00:20:12:13
Here? Where does it hurt?
- It hurts, don't touch it.
0073 00:20:12:17 00:20:13:20
Sorry, sorry!
0074 00:20:14:22 00:20:17:22
How did it happen?
- The horse threw me.
0075 00:20:18:01 00:20:19:23
I'll be gentle.
0076 00:20:29:15 00:20:32:10
It hurts!
Ow, that burns!
0077 00:20:36:02 00:20:38:09
Yes, but it helps to clean it.
0078 00:20:38:24 00:20:40:13
Does it hurt here?
0079 00:20:42:15 00:20:44:03
Oh my God!
0080 00:20:45:16 00:20:47:10
Almost done.
VOICE OVER
00:20:49:16 00:20:53:06
It’s now only 3 more days
walking to the village.
00:20:53:10 00:20:55:14
My sisters are getting excited.
00:20:55:18 00:20:59:19
They are looking forward to have a happy
family reunion with our parents
00:20:59:23 00:21:02:22
and the one sister
who stayed behind.
00:21:03:01 00:21:06:15
For Sumchog it’s the first time
she returns to our village
00:21:06:19 00:21:10:10
she hasn’t seen our parents
for many years.
.
00:21:10:14 00:21:14:13
But I feel worried about
things to come.
0081 00:21:15:20 00:21:17:09
Dolma, is that our father?
- Yes.
0082 00:21:17:13 00:21:20:06
He looks like our father.
Look how he walks.
0083 00:21:20:10 00:21:23:10
It's the same way our father walks.
0084 00:21:24:18 00:21:26:04
Father!
0085 00:21:29:22 00:21:31:01
Hello!
0086 00:21:31:05 00:21:32:07
It is our father.
0087 00:21:32:11 00:21:35:02
"Father" is the only
Dolpo word she knows.
0088 00:21:48:06 00:21:49:23
Dolma, get off the horse.
0089 00:21:51:04 00:21:53:06
Hello.
0090 00:22:04:09 00:22:06:12
She said she wants to get off.
0091 00:22:08:16 00:22:12:10
Last time we spoke,
I told you not to come.
0092 00:22:12:14 00:22:17:17
Why not? I was worried about her.
- Why? She walks fine.
0093 00:22:17:21 00:22:23:21
I told you we're in a group,
so it's safe.
0094 00:22:25:17 00:22:28:00
She says she is happy to see you.
0095 00:22:32:00 00:22:34:04
How many children has
our sister got now?
0096 00:22:34:08 00:22:37:01
She's got three now.
0097 00:22:37:05 00:22:39:04
Are she and her husband
at home now?
0098 00:22:39:08 00:22:41:16
He's gone to China to trade.
VOICE OVER
00:22:49:15 00:22:55:00
As a traditional Tibetan healer my father is
used to travel by foot around Dolpa.
00:22:55:20 00:22:58:21
My mother spends most of
the time alone in the village
00:22:59:00 00:23:02:03
taking care of the
land of our family.
00:24:31:08 00:24:34:11
Karang is now only
few hours away.
00:24:34:15 00:24:38:01
I wish I could feel excited
like my sisters.
00:24:38:05 00:24:41:24
and I try to push away the thoughts
about why I’m here.
00:24:42:03 00:24:47:24
But I know, sometime in this coming week,
I will have to confront my parents
0099 00:24:58:21 00:25:00:12
So this is Karang?
0100 00:25:00:16 00:25:02:00
It's so beautiful.
0101 00:25:04:21 00:25:06:24
We can't see our house.
0102 00:25:11:16 00:25:13:23
It's behind the hill.
0103 00:25:14:02 00:25:15:20
They all look the same.
0104 00:25:33:08 00:25:36:04
She can put it on in the house.
0105 00:25:36:08 00:25:41:19
Then Mother will see it,
it should be a surprise.
0106 00:26:16:24 00:26:20:23
It isn't done at the back yet.
- Where? Here?
0107 00:26:21:24 00:26:23:17
Higher.
0108 00:26:23:21 00:26:26:09
Cut it, cut it.
Cut it above eye level.
0109 00:26:26:13 00:26:28:23
Like this?
- Yes.
0110 00:26:29:08 00:26:30:24
That's enough!
0111 00:27:28:10 00:27:31:18
Tsering, that's your old school.
0112 00:27:32:23 00:27:35:23
Till which grade were you here?
- I don't have any friends here.
0113 00:27:36:02 00:27:40:03
I asked which grade?
- Kindergarten.
0114 00:27:40:21 00:27:47:06
Do you remember?
- They've rebuilt it now.
0115 00:27:52:20 00:27:53:24
Hello!
0116 00:27:56:00 00:27:57:22
Hello!
- Hello!
0117 00:28:03:18 00:28:06:03
Hello, children.
0118 00:28:18:19 00:28:21:19
Hey kids, do you remember me?
0119 00:28:22:20 00:28:25:24
I came here before, remember?
0120 00:28:28:00 00:28:29:16
Is school out now?
0121 00:28:32:21 00:28:37:09
Are the villagers back from China?
- Not yet.
0122 00:28:49:04 00:28:52:13
Horses are coming!
Horses are coming!
0123 00:29:01:12 00:29:06:03
You can leave the horses here.
0124 00:29:11:16 00:29:13:13
Hello.
0125 00:29:30:13 00:29:32:12
Hello, Mum!
0126 00:29:59:11 00:30:02:17
Hey boy, can you tell the people
0127 00:30:02:21 00:30:08:16
to put the horses
somewhere near the monastery?
0128 00:30:34:04 00:30:34:23
Go faster.
0129 00:30:35:02 00:30:37:00
It's very difficult to go faster here.
0130 00:30:40:11 00:30:43:07
Sit close to Sumchog.
0131 00:30:43:11 00:30:49:00
Give everyone the cups
and give the mug to him.
0132 00:30:49:04 00:30:52:22
Be careful.
0133 00:30:53:01 00:30:56:08
Give your brother
a plate from there.
0134 00:31:09:24 00:31:14:06
I don't want the special cup,
just give me a normal one.
0135 00:31:14:10 00:31:17:06
What are you saying?
0136 00:31:17:10 00:31:21:21
You are our only son,
you must have the special cup.
0137 00:31:29:12 00:31:31:14
It's so pale, did you forget the tea?
0138 00:31:35:18 00:31:38:05
Looks like local beer or something.
0139 00:31:45:21 00:31:49:03
She puts her finger up her nose,
then in her mouth, then in the tea.
0140 00:31:49:07 00:31:53:07
It's disgusting. She doesn't
understand our traditions.
0141 00:32:00:01 00:32:03:02
OK, let's sit together for a while.
0142 00:32:26:19 00:32:29:02
I can't see your scar.
0143 00:32:34:12 00:32:41:07
When she was a baby she was very
clever, but she had weak muscles.
0144 00:32:41:11 00:32:44:21
For a long time
she wasn't able to eat by herself.
0145 00:32:45:00 00:32:50:18
I had to put the food in her mouth,
like a baby. Until she was six.
0146 00:32:51:12 00:32:54:02
You know "champa", the flour we eat?
0147 00:32:54:06 00:33:00:21
I had to feed it to her
from my mouth to her mouth.
0148 00:33:13:11 00:33:17:17
At the time of the accident
I was working in the field.
0149 00:33:17:21 00:33:20:09
It happened right here.
0150 00:33:20:13 00:33:25:16
She was sleeping here
and there was an open fire in the room.
0151 00:33:25:20 00:33:29:24
She was asleep in that corner.
Then she crawled near the fire.
0152 00:33:30:03 00:33:33:17
The floor was uneven and she fell
like this, with her head in the fire.
0153 00:33:33:21 00:33:35:20
This bit of her head
was completely burnt.
0154 00:33:35:24 00:33:39:15
Your mother heard her crying
while she was working in the field.
0155 00:33:39:19 00:33:42:16
Initially, the burnt area
was very small.
0156 00:33:42:20 00:33:51:08
We put herbs on the wound
but it got bigger and bigger.
0157 00:33:51:12 00:33:56:24
We didn't have any medicines.
0158 00:33:57:03 00:34:01:04
Then the wound got bigger and bigger.
0159 00:34:01:08 00:34:05:00
Later we removed the dead skin,
but it got worse.
0160 00:34:05:14 00:34:09:13
I had to take her to Kathmandu
and carried both of you on my back
0161 00:34:09:17 00:34:13:02
in a big wooden basket. You were
at the bottom, she was on top.
0162 00:34:13:06 00:34:15:16
You were both crying because it hurt.
0163 00:34:15:20 00:34:18:03
I had to put the basket down
and reposition you.
0164 00:34:18:07 00:34:21:13
You were both
tied tightly on my back.
0165 00:34:21:17 00:34:25:08
I clearly remember
what it was like in the city.
0166 00:34:25:12 00:34:30:20
One day we lost Sumchog
early in the morning.
0167 00:34:30:24 00:34:34:21
We looked everywhere for her
but couldn't find her.
0168 00:34:35:00 00:34:37:08
Your mother was extremely worried
and crying.
0169 00:34:37:12 00:34:40:22
We finally found her outside
Mummy Lea's children's home.
0170 00:34:41:01 00:34:43:20
There was a foreigner
0171 00:34:43:24 00:34:48:13
who was taking her chuba,
old shoes and torn trousers off.
0172 00:34:48:17 00:34:54:10
She was dressed in new clothes
and looked completely different.
0173 00:34:55:16 00:34:57:10
Sister!
0174 00:35:21:20 00:35:23:09
Take her.
0175 00:35:33:08 00:35:36:21
Let me help you put your load
down on the ground.
VOICE OVER
00:35:37:00 00:35:40:06
My sister Chonzom comes to visit for a day.
00:35:40:10 00:35:44:17
She’s the only one in the family who
did not go to the children’s home..
00:35:44:21 00:35:48:14
She was the strongest and my parents
kept her in the village.
00:35:48:18 00:35:51:09
She worked the land with my mother.
00:35:51:13 00:35:55:18
Since my parents married her off to
a local farmer in the next village
00:35:55:22 00:35:59:10
my mom has to do all the
work on her own again.
0176 00:36:51:14 00:36:54:24
How old is she, sister?
- She's 7.
0177 00:36:55:03 00:36:58:09
And her?
- She's 3.
0178 00:36:58:22 00:37:02:14
What's that black dot on his head?
0179 00:37:03:21 00:37:05:05
Is it a wound?
- No, it's not.
0180 00:37:05:09 00:37:08:05
What then?
- It makes the hair grow better.
0181 00:37:08:09 00:37:11:03
So what is that dot?
- Zildag.
0182 00:37:12:01 00:37:15:07
It's only for small children.
It gives them a good moral character.
0183 00:37:15:11 00:37:20:04
Our niece had it too.
Every child does.
0184 00:37:20:23 00:37:23:02
Is your husband coming home tomorrow?
0185 00:37:23:06 00:37:27:02
Yesterday I asked some travelers,
they said he might arrive tomorrow.
0186 00:37:27:06 00:37:28:23
But it's not certain.
0187 00:37:35:13 00:37:37:01
I fell over yesterday and
0188 00:37:37:05 00:37:42:13
hurt my hand
and I can hardly move it now.
0189 00:37:42:17 00:37:46:20
When all of you aren't here
I have to do everything myself.
0190 00:37:46:24 00:37:49:23
There's not enough food.
0191 00:37:50:02 00:37:52:00
We can't eat
if the farming isn't done.
0192 00:37:52:04 00:37:54:11
Firstly, I didn't receive an education.
0193 00:37:54:15 00:37:59:00
Other children
always help their parents, but...
0194 00:38:03:24 00:38:06:05
I'd love to go to Kathmandu
but have to stay here.
0195 00:38:08:00 00:38:12:04
So you're thinking of coming with us?
Stop it, Mum is talking!
0196 00:38:13:09 00:38:16:21
If I go to Kathmandu with you
Father will be here all by himself.
0197 00:38:17:00 00:38:19:05
If you marry,
there'll be three people here.
0198 00:38:19:09 00:38:27:05
So you are saying that if I marry
all the problems will be solved?
0199 00:38:32:15 00:38:35:21
If you don't marry soon,
it will be a lot more difficult.
0200 00:38:36:00 00:38:38:18
Yesterday a girl of Dolma's age came by.
0201 00:38:38:22 00:38:41:11
She regrets not listening
to her father before he died.
0202 00:38:41:15 00:38:44:10
Are you saying
Dolma should get married?
0203 00:38:44:14 00:38:51:04
At least one of you should
get married, or all three of you.
0204 00:38:52:14 00:38:55:14
I can't cope anymore.
0205 00:39:10:06 00:39:13:20
Do they go to school?
- No.
0206 00:39:13:24 00:39:18:17
Why not?
Why don't you send them?
0207 00:39:18:21 00:39:22:03
It's too far for them
to walk by themselves,
0208 00:39:22:07 00:39:26:18
and they don't learn anything anyway.
0209 00:39:28:14 00:39:30:02
What does she mean?
0210 00:39:30:06 00:39:34:23
She's afraid her children will fall
off the rocks on the way to school.
0211 00:39:35:02 00:39:37:24
And the teaching
isn't very good, anyway.
0212 00:39:38:20 00:39:42:01
If they can go alone,
you should send them.
0213 00:39:42:08 00:39:48:02
I'm too busy working the land.
0214 00:40:03:00 00:40:07:03
How do you say "scar"?
- Wangko.
0215 00:40:49:20 00:40:53:22
That piece of land
close to the house is ours.
0216 00:40:54:01 00:41:00:24
The piece close to the outhouse,
where the barley is growing, is ours.
0217 00:41:01:03 00:41:08:22
And that piece, that piece and
also that piece. That piece too.
0218 00:41:09:01 00:41:11:14
Can you see the one
where we grow potatoes?
0219 00:41:11:18 00:41:14:03
Yeah, the potato field.
0220 00:41:14:07 00:41:17:02
Did you see our potato stock?
It's all from that field.
0221 00:41:17:06 00:41:20:05
From there, right?
0222 00:41:20:09 00:41:25:05
From the stream up there,
it's all ours.
0223 00:41:25:18 00:41:29:05
I inherited all this land
from my father.
0224 00:41:29:09 00:41:34:12
So sooner or later
you will inherit it from me.
0225 00:41:34:16 00:41:39:15
Some of it will go to my daughters.
0226 00:41:39:19 00:41:43:05
You should remember the land
I told you about,
0227 00:41:43:09 00:41:47:13
so you can claim it after my death.
0228 00:41:47:17 00:41:51:04
You should remember these things.
VOICE OVER
00:42:26:10 00:42:29:18
How could I ever live in
this isolated place?
00:42:29:22 00:42:35:16
It’s the land of my ancestors,
but my world is so much bigger now.
00:42:35:20 00:42:39:05
How will I ever make my
parents understand?
0229 00:43:02:12 00:43:07:03
You've never experienced
the difficulties of living here
0230 00:43:07:15 00:43:12:22
but not the joys of living here either.
0231 00:43:13:01 00:43:16:22
That's why I think it's very important
you get married here.
0232 00:43:17:01 00:43:23:15
And as your mother says,
you are our only son.
0233 00:43:23:19 00:43:28:04
You are the most important
of all our children.
0234 00:43:28:09 00:43:35:20
If I'd grown up here,
I would've known about the culture.
0235 00:43:35:24 00:43:44:19
But my heart can't be forced
to be happy here.
0236 00:43:45:04 00:43:52:08
If I don't have a computer, books
and paper, it'd be like I was dead.
0237 00:43:52:12 00:43:56:05
Do you really think
I could live here?
0238 00:43:56:20 00:43:58:09
Now people say to us:
0239 00:43:58:13 00:44:02:15
you have all your children,
all in very good health,
0240 00:44:02:19 00:44:06:01
but you don't have anyone
to cook for you and help you.
0241 00:44:06:05 00:44:09:03
Life is very difficult for us
without anyone here.
0242 00:44:09:07 00:44:11:21
You will bring shame on us
if you ignore our wishes.
0243 00:44:12:00 00:44:14:08
Some people say
our children don't come back
0244 00:44:14:12 00:44:17:14
because they are influenced
by Westerners and their culture.
0245 00:44:17:18 00:44:20:04
Recently, your uncle said,
about the land, that...
0246 00:44:20:08 00:44:24:18
The solution to this problem would be
for you to come and live in Kathmandu.
0247 00:44:24:22 00:44:27:17
You'd be happy there
and would enjoy good health.
0248 00:44:27:21 00:44:32:12
That's why I keep saying
to come to Kathmandu.
0249 00:44:32:18 00:44:37:23
You wouldn't have to
worry about money.
0250 00:44:38:02 00:44:40:21
I'd take care of it.
0251 00:44:41:00 00:44:47:08
Our house and land
are very important to us.
0252 00:44:47:12 00:44:54:19
It belonged to my father
and his father and so on.
0253 00:44:54:23 00:44:59:18
It goes back many generations.
0254 00:44:59:22 00:45:04:16
And that's not only the case
in our house.
0255 00:45:04:20 00:45:11:08
Dolpo has a long history
that we should keep alive.
0256 00:45:14:04 00:45:16:15
You shamed me
in front of my brother-in-law.
0257 00:45:16:19 00:45:21:06
I spoke to your brother-in-law.
0258 00:45:21:10 00:45:23:24
He was actually proud of me.
0259 00:45:24:03 00:45:25:18
You just don't accept me.
0260 00:45:25:22 00:45:28:16
You say, "Don't do this or that.
This is not OK, nor is that."
0261 00:45:28:20 00:45:30:18
That you're ashamed of me.
0262 00:45:30:22 00:45:34:01
Your brother-in-law
wasn't ashamed at all.
0263 00:45:34:05 00:45:37:02
So why should you be?
0264 00:45:37:06 00:45:43:08
He actually understood that
we're living in different situations.
0265 00:45:43:12 00:45:47:04
So it's all my fault now?
- It's not your fault.
0266 00:45:47:08 00:45:50:12
I gave birth to 11 children.
- I'm not saying it's your fault.
0267 00:45:50:16 00:45:54:20
I'm not blaming you, I just want you
to understand my point of view.
0268 00:45:54:24 00:45:58:09
Why do you never ask me
if I'm doing OK or need help
0269 00:45:58:13 00:46:02:03
or if there's someone to
prepare food and help on the land?
0270 00:46:02:07 00:46:05:12
I have lots of problems and
always need help, but you never ask.
0271 00:46:05:16 00:46:10:13
That's why I keep saying come to
Kathmandu to be closer to your children.
0272 00:46:10:17 00:46:12:18
How can we help you
if you stay here?
0273 00:46:12:22 00:46:15:05
We just aren't able to help you here.
0274 00:46:15:09 00:46:19:07
Look at you.
- Look at me? OK, I won't talk then.
0275 00:46:19:11 00:46:22:05
Just be quiet.
- OK, I'll shut up.
0276 00:46:22:09 00:46:26:16
We're going round in circles anyway.
0277 00:46:27:09 00:46:32:03
Your father and I respected
our parents wishes in marriage.
0278 00:46:32:07 00:46:34:23
We simply obeyed our parents.
0279 00:46:44:04 00:46:48:11
I said I would help!
What's there to understand?
VOICE OVER
00:47:49:01 00:47:52:12
I feel trapped. To get some air, away
from the tensions in the house,
00:47:52:16 00:47:55:22
I go with Sumchog to visit
our sister Chonzom.
00:47:56:01 00:48:00:22
I hope she will understand me a
nd can help me find a way out.
0280 00:49:11:21 00:49:14:09
His eyes are so big.
0281 00:49:18:07 00:49:27:05
Are you OK? You look better now,
two years ago you were thinner.
0282 00:49:27:09 00:49:31:22
We're fine.
I gave birth to 5 children, but 2 died.
0283 00:49:32:01 00:49:36:14
Do you want more kids?
- I want to have 20.
0284 00:49:57:13 00:50:01:01
Don't have too many children.
0285 00:50:01:05 00:50:06:02
It's not good for your health.
0286 00:50:06:06 00:50:13:19
If you have twenty, for example,
you'll look like you're forty.
0287 00:50:18:15 00:50:23:17
We need children to help us.
Life is too difficult without them.
0288 00:50:23:21 00:50:29:12
If you hire someone to help you
you have to pay about 350 rupees.
0289 00:50:32:00 00:50:37:05
That's true,
but it's not good for your health.
0290 00:50:37:09 00:50:42:23
Giving birth to too many children
is bad for you. So why do it?
0291 00:50:43:02 00:50:46:17
If I marry, I'll have only 3.
0292 00:51:14:12 00:51:16:20
What you said?
0293 00:51:21:18 00:51:25:07
If you tie your hair like this,
it will look better.
0294 00:51:28:01 00:51:32:20
This eye... it's nice, it's nice.
0295 00:51:34:13 00:51:37:05
This is... OK...
0296 00:51:41:11 00:51:46:10
So... eye is nice, hair is nice...
0297 00:51:46:14 00:51:51:07
Shall I put my earrings in?
- Ah, yeah. OK...
0298 00:51:54:22 00:51:59:00
So... your eye is like this OK...
0299 00:52:02:12 00:52:05:11
This is... OK...
0300 00:52:09:08 00:52:10:22
OK.
0301 00:52:19:07 00:52:23:05
Your eye is like this OK...
0302 00:52:26:05 00:52:31:04
And your leg is like this OK...
0303 00:52:31:08 00:52:33:12
Not like that...
0304 00:52:33:16 00:52:36:04
Leg like this.
So... and like this...
0305 00:52:39:02 00:52:40:11
Wait a minute.
0306 00:52:44:15 00:52:46:00
Understand?
- Yes, I understand.
0307 00:52:46:04 00:52:48:17
Like this... Like this.
0308 00:52:48:21 00:52:51:21
Your leg is like this... OK.
0309 00:52:54:14 00:52:55:18
Like this.
0310 00:52:55:22 00:52:57:24
And your hand... Like this.
0311 00:52:59:15 00:53:01:11
That's very good.
0312 00:53:02:16 00:53:05:19
And... and this... OK.
VOICE OVER
00:53:52:05 00:53:55:13
Suddenly my brother in
law comes home.
00:53:55:17 00:54:00:02
He went to China with his yaks,
two weeks walking away.
00:54:01:01 00:54:05:19
When the mountain passes are open in summer,
most men are away for months
00:54:05:23 00:54:09:15
to buy supplies in order to
survive the long winter
0313 00:54:29:06 00:54:32:19
Who is our brother-in-law?
- The one with the cap.
0314 00:54:38:13 00:54:41:12
My head is dirty.
0315 00:54:42:06 00:54:46:21
She lives in Holland now,
another sister is in America.
0316 00:54:47:00 00:54:49:01
She left when she was 5.
0317 00:54:49:05 00:54:51:11
Where are the presents?
0318 00:55:19:20 00:55:23:10
When you've finished your studies,
what do you want to do?
0319 00:55:23:14 00:55:25:02
Come back to Dolpa or...
0320 00:55:25:06 00:55:28:09
I don't believe marriage
0321 00:55:29:05 00:55:36:02
is the solution
to our family's situation.
0322 00:55:36:06 00:55:42:06
You did not marry
someone of your own choice.
0323 00:55:42:10 00:55:46:24
It was our parents' decision
that you got married.
0324 00:55:47:03 00:55:49:08
It was an arranged marriage.
0325 00:55:49:12 00:55:53:04
But in today's world,
in Kathmandu and abroad,
0326 00:55:53:08 00:55:59:23
people don't get married
because their parents wish it.
0327 00:56:00:02 00:56:06:18
If you truly love each other,
then you decide to get married.
0328 00:56:07:05 00:56:12:09
Do you really believe that
if I were to get married here
0329 00:56:12:13 00:56:18:06
that would make me happy?
0330 00:56:18:10 00:56:23:08
Do you really believe that?
- Yes.
0331 00:56:25:13 00:56:29:05
You can always do like others do.
Such as our relative Lhabrang.
0332 00:56:29:09 00:56:35:08
His wife stays in the village
and he goes wherever he wants.
0333 00:56:35:12 00:56:37:11
Do like he does.
0334 00:56:37:15 00:56:41:12
That's exactly what I don't want to do.
0335 00:56:41:16 00:56:43:08
You still don't understand me.
0336 00:56:43:12 00:56:46:08
I don't want to marry
someone I don't know.
0337 00:56:46:12 00:56:49:16
I heard that they proposed to a girl
who is staying nearby.
0338 00:56:49:20 00:56:52:03
How come you know this and I don't?
0339 00:56:52:07 00:56:55:03
You guys keep looking at
all the available girls.
0340 00:56:55:07 00:56:58:16
I hear she is well educated.
- That's not the point.
0341 00:56:58:20 00:57:01:12
You should love someone.
- You've got someone abroad?
0342 00:57:01:16 00:57:09:15
I've got friends.
- If you haven't got anyone
0343 00:57:09:19 00:57:16:22
you should at least think about
our parents' wishes.
0344 00:57:17:01 00:57:23:12
I could put your daughter
in a good school and in return
0345 00:57:23:16 00:57:28:03
you could look after our parents' land.
0346 00:57:28:07 00:57:36:16
Not work in the field,
just check that everything's OK.
0347 00:57:36:20 00:57:43:01
In return I can put your daughters
in a good school.
0348 00:57:43:08 00:57:45:16
I've got lots of work here
0349 00:57:45:20 00:57:48:13
and have to look after the children
all the time too.
0350 00:57:48:17 00:57:51:23
We always have lots of work to do
in Dolpa.
0351 00:57:52:02 00:57:57:07
My in-laws won't let me help our parents
and I have to do everything on my own.
0352 00:57:57:23 00:58:02:07
In two or three years' time
0353 00:58:02:11 00:58:07:14
Tsering and Dolma should come back
to learn our way of life.
0354 00:58:07:18 00:58:11:20
You should tell them to come back here.
0355 00:58:11:24 00:58:17:08
They are healthy enough to live here.
- That's a terrible thing to say.
0356 00:58:17:12 00:58:23:05
Why?
- Look at what you've been through.
0357 00:58:23:09 00:58:27:08
Whenever I see you,
you are always working.
0358 00:58:27:12 00:58:31:15
In the city, you work hard too
but there is time to have fun.
0359 00:58:31:19 00:58:38:01
There is time to relax
and do things you like doing.
0360 00:58:38:05 00:58:42:03
Look at your hands and face,
0361 00:58:42:07 00:58:47:15
you're only 26
but you look like you're 40.
0362 00:58:47:19 00:58:53:08
I sent our sisters to school
so they wouldn't become like you.
We have to return to our parents house because we have only two days left in Karang.
0363 00:59:16:18 00:59:20:15
Is it a cow or an ox?
- It's a cow.
0364 00:59:21:10 00:59:23:12
Don't go round that side.
0365 00:59:30:09 00:59:34:20
Those girls, Dolma and Tsering,
don't work very hard.
0366 00:59:36:05 00:59:39:02
They used to work
when they were here before.
0367 00:59:41:01 00:59:44:13
If they don't learn to,
they won't be happy.
0368 00:59:44:17 00:59:46:21
All the girls in the village work hard.
0369 00:59:50:16 00:59:56:00
A Tarap girl came back to the village
after finishing 10th grade.
0370 00:59:56:04 01:00:00:04
She has worked very hard since then.
0371 01:00:02:17 01:00:05:19
We have to prepare bread
and other food for tomorrow.
0372 01:00:05:23 01:00:09:00
And they won't help.
- I'll tell them to help you.
0373 01:00:09:04 01:00:11:19
They don't set the fire.
They don't fetch water.
0374 01:00:12:22 01:00:15:12
Dolma is very rude to me
when I ask her to help.
0375 01:00:15:16 01:00:18:16
Even if I ask her nicely.
0376 01:00:28:13 01:00:30:20
Hey boy, take the cow away.
0377 01:00:33:02 01:00:37:10
And bring me the other cow, OK?
0378 01:00:49:07 01:00:53:09
Don't let the black cow
come over here.
0379 01:00:54:15 01:00:57:03
And don't stand behind the cow.
0380 01:01:05:16 01:01:07:17
Father treated me
with hot metal.
0381 01:01:07:21 01:01:09:09
Did he?
- Yes.
0382 01:01:10:03 01:01:14:00
I couldn't move my hands yesterday
but I can now.
0383 01:01:17:08 01:01:20:08
Where's Dolma?
- Over there.
0384 01:01:23:17 01:01:24:22
Are we going to make tea?
0385 01:01:25:01 01:01:27:16
Tsering, you have to help Mum
tomorrow, OK?
0386 01:01:27:20 01:01:32:12
I heard girls here work very hard.
So you have to help Mum.
0387 01:01:32:20 01:01:39:20
Don't just say yes and then not do it.
0388 01:01:42:02 01:01:44:15
People say I have
beautiful, caring children.
0389 01:01:44:19 01:01:48:13
But you two girls don't bother to
help me, not even with your baby niece.
0390 01:01:48:17 01:01:52:13
You just mess around.
0391 01:02:04:19 01:02:07:02
Boy, put the calf inside.
0392 01:04:06:08 01:04:09:17
You're their son, that's why
you're responsible for them.
0393 01:04:09:21 01:04:11:17
You should visit frequently.
0394 01:04:13:16 01:04:18:10
Life here is difficult because you have
to put a lot of energy into surviving.
0395 01:04:18:14 01:04:20:02
You need to make a wise decision.
0396 01:04:20:11 01:04:25:01
It's impossible to find someone
to take care of the land and house.
0397 01:04:25:05 01:04:27:04
Your parents are your responsibility.
0398 01:04:27:08 01:04:31:09
Your uncle and aunt came here
to discuss this.
0399 01:04:31:13 01:04:34:15
We want you to understand
your role in the family.
0400 01:04:34:19 01:04:39:22
You must realise that I'm very lonely
and that there's so much work to do.
0401 01:04:40:01 01:04:42:21
That's why I keep saying
to come to the city.
0402 01:04:43:00 01:04:47:16
You've studied so much
but don't care about us.
0403 01:04:47:20 01:04:50:19
We might die tomorrow
and you are to blame.
0404 01:04:51:00 01:04:56:13
You should talk to your son.
0405 01:04:57:00 01:04:59:18
Why do I have to do it all?
0406 01:05:01:10 01:05:07:12
If he refuses, we need Dolma
to come back to the village.
0407 01:05:25:21 01:05:29:10
What's this in your hair?
Don't use strange products on it.
0408 01:05:33:12 01:05:37:21
Here, too.
Take good care of your hair, eh?
0409 01:05:39:09 01:05:43:16
Have you enjoyed staying here,
do you like this place?
0410 01:05:43:20 01:05:46:15
It's a nice place.
0411 01:05:50:01 01:05:56:02
After you've finished 10th grade,
will you think of us?
0412 01:05:56:06 01:06:00:06
You should study hard
and live your life.
0413 01:06:00:10 01:06:09:24
But we hope that
you will think about us as well.
0414 01:06:11:12 01:06:13:19
Don't you think you should too?
0415 01:06:17:19 01:06:22:09
We've tried convincing your brother,
but he says he doesn't have time.
0416 01:06:22:13 01:06:27:18
And now we're getting weak and old.
So you girls have to look after us.
0417 01:06:30:10 01:06:36:17
You should stop acting like a child.
You're 15 years old now.
0418 01:06:36:22 01:06:42:16
If you want me to stay here,
just ask me.
0419 01:06:44:16 01:06:46:22
Ask you?
- Yes, ask me.
0420 01:06:49:05 01:06:55:08
When you said that you love us and
want to take care of us, I was so happy.
0421 01:06:55:12 01:06:58:19
Did your sister, Tsering, say the same?
- Yes, she did.
0422 01:06:58:23 01:07:03:01
Did she also say I am a bit annoying?
- No, not at all.
0423 01:07:31:04 01:07:33:16
Hi Mum, this is Sumchog.
0424 01:07:33:20 01:07:37:10
Hi darling, good to hear from you.
How are you?
0425 01:07:37:14 01:07:42:12
Fine, I'm in Karang at the moment.
- Right.
0426 01:07:42:16 01:07:47:10
Everything's fine,
but you heard I've got a boil.
0427 01:07:47:14 01:07:51:03
Well, it's nearly gone now.
- Mind you don't develop a fever.
0428 01:07:51:07 01:07:55:06
I haven't got a fever... and, uh...
What did you say?
0429 01:07:55:10 01:07:59:11
Sumchog, that medicine helps.
- Yes, I've got some.
0430 01:07:59:15 01:08:06:16
The one with the lion.
- I've got it with me all the time.
0431 01:08:06:20 01:08:11:03
Yes, but if you've got it...
- I'm taking it too.
0432 01:08:11:07 01:08:14:19
Well, if you think
this is all nonsense...
0433 01:08:14:23 01:08:18:12
That's not what I'm saying.
That's not what I'm saying.
0434 01:08:18:20 01:08:23:03
Well, how are Pema and the children?
Are they OK?
0435 01:08:23:07 01:08:27:18
Yes, the children are all fine
0436 01:08:27:22 01:08:32:16
and Pema and Dolma...
0437 01:08:32:20 01:08:40:17
For Pema it's really good,
because now he can discuss it all.
0438 01:08:40:21 01:08:41:21
Yes, of course.
0439 01:08:42:00 01:08:46:09
One more thing, Sum,
the way back is really dangerous.
0440 01:08:46:13 01:08:49:07
Remember the film where the yak fell.
0441 01:08:49:11 01:08:55:21
It's important you are tied on safely
so you can't get dizzy and fall.
0442 01:08:56:00 01:08:57:11
Will you promise me that?
0443 01:08:57:15 01:09:03:01
Yes, but if I get dizzy
I won't go over a high pass.
0444 01:09:03:05 01:09:07:21
Sum, I am just telling you,
that's all I can do.
0445 01:09:08:00 01:09:12:09
The way back has
that sheer 4,000 metre drop.
0446 01:09:12:13 01:09:17:08
And if you slip, if you get dizzy,
you'll fall over the edge and be killed.
0447 01:09:17:12 01:09:22:01
I'm telling you,
it's important to be tied on well.
My sister and her children have come to say goodbye. We will be leaving early tomorrow.
0448 01:10:11:04 01:10:13:23
Mother must give them the yarka.
0449 01:10:20:16 01:10:26:19
I'll go back to the city and develop
all the pictures of our memories.
0450 01:10:34:20 01:10:36:20
Take good care of yourself, Mum.
0451 01:10:36:24 01:10:43:11
I know it has been very hard for you,
you've got many things to take care of.
0452 01:10:43:15 01:10:46:08
I will do my best
to make things better for you.
0453 01:10:46:12 01:10:49:11
I say stupid things when I am angry
but I don't really mean them.
0454 01:10:50:02 01:10:53:14
Please don't worry too much.
0455 01:10:53:18 01:10:59:17
Don't cry, please don't cry. If you cry,
we won't have a safe journey.
0456 01:11:05:22 01:11:10:03
In the West
people say goodbye like this.
0457 01:11:10:07 01:11:13:14
In Dolpo we do it like this.
0458 01:11:15:07 01:11:17:07
Take good care of yourself.
0459 01:11:18:03 01:11:24:03
Don't worry, I'll try to find someone
to look after the house.
0460 01:11:53:23 01:11:56:23
Lead the horse up the hill a little way.
VOICE OVER
01:13:49:03 01:13:54:07
Father brings us to the airstrip,
10 days walking from Karang..
01:13:56:14 01:14:01:02
It will be our last days together
for a long time to come.
01:14:35:04 01:14:40:16
Looking at my little sisters, I feel worried
about what will become of them..
01:14:42:14 01:14:45:18
My head is full of confusing thoughts
0461 01:15:35:01 01:15:39:01
A few days ago Mum was
doing your hair and talking to you,
0462 01:15:39:05 01:15:41:10
what was she saying?
0463 01:15:41:14 01:15:48:00
She said that after finishing 10th
grade, I should come back to the village
0464 01:15:48:04 01:15:56:18
and maybe work as a teacher
at the local school.
0465 01:15:56:22 01:16:00:06
She asked a lot of things,
but I don't remember what.
0466 01:16:00:10 01:16:06:10
Did Mum talk about marriage,
or say that you have to get married?
0467 01:16:06:14 01:16:10:05
She said that if I get married I have
to marry someone from the village.
0468 01:16:11:14 01:16:17:04
In my opinion, you are too young
to talk about marriage.
0469 01:16:17:08 01:16:19:21
You are still too small
for burdens like that.
0470 01:16:20:00 01:16:25:14
Now's the time for you
to pick up a pen and study.
0471 01:16:25:18 01:16:29:03
Don't worry about marriage.
0472 01:16:29:07 01:16:32:02
What I suggest is that
0473 01:16:32:06 01:16:40:06
before you make any decisions
for yourself
0474 01:16:40:10 01:16:45:06
or for anybody else,
0475 01:16:45:22 01:16:54:01
you follow your heart
and then decide.
VOICE OVER
01:18:42:14 01:18:46:03
I know now, I have to
live my own life.
01:18:46:07 01:18:51:06
I will return to Holland and stay there.
Maybe for good.
01:18:51:10 01:18:55:06
I know Dolma is considering
going back to the village..
01:18:56:00 01:18:59:21
Like me, she can’t stand
the feeling of guilt.
01:19:18:01 – 01:19:20:09
I’m still waiting for a miracle.
