WEBVTT

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In small towns across

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Canada, crystal meth has become the drug
of choice for many teens. It\'s cheap,

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easy to get, but it\'s also highly
addictive. You know you\'re hurtin\',

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and you know when you look hurt, and you know you look like
shit, but it don\'t matter, as long as you got a pipe and

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shit in your hand, it don\'t matter. The first time you do
it, a lot of people just get hooked, and they can\'t get out

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out if. Oh, if you try it once, fuck.
You\'re gonna like it. He swears a lot.

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Yeah, he\'s threatened to kill the whole
family while we\'re sleeping, and so-

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Yeah, he\'s like, I know where you sleep.

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I live in a, in a typical
small town called Hope,

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about two hours from Vancouver. And over the
period of a year, I filmed the stories of three

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families whose lives were affected by crystal meth.
I didn\'t have to go far to find these stories.

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Because crystal meth is invading our
neighborhood with an incredible speed.

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[sil.]

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Yeah, jus-, crank glass, ice,

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speed, fuck, meth, boy.
Amphetamines, fuckin\' hoots,

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I don\'t know, got any shit? Oh, man.

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[sil.]

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Michelle is a mother of four. And she
works at the only hospital in hope.

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Her eldest son, Aaron, has been using
crystal meth on and off for five years.

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Crystal meth causes a specific psychotic
state. It\'s dangerous. It\'s dangerous to the

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patient, it\'s dangerous to the staff. It\'s
dangerous to the family whose down there,

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they don\'t know what to do. In emergency here, you see these
people who come in in their early 20\'s they\'ve been doing crystal

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meth for a few years, and their such beautiful
people, and they have such wonderful

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minds and their destroying it, and now they\'re not
the same person you, you knew before. When I talk

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to my kids about it, and I didn\'t realize, at
that time, I think my oldest son had just started

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experimenting with it himself.

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It\'s taken a huge toll on our family.
It\'s been a rough, uphill ride.

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He was very violent. A lot of times
I had to ask him to leave the house

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because we couldn\'t keep him here, because it wasn\'t
safe for the other kids to, to be living here.

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I was just devastated, and I phoned Steve
Fachler, and we talked, and I cried and

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cried and cried. Come
on, come on, let\'s go!

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The kind of job that I have is certainly not typical. I
take what I call a very holistic view with the students.

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True, I\'m providing reading and writing,
arithmetic, academic upgrading to a

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high school graduation level. But as
importantly, uh, these days, I provide

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emotional support. If a young
person has a drug addiction

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before I get worried too much about school, I\'m
gonna provide alcohol and drug support services.

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If a person is on income assistance, or
they\'re not even on income assistance,

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and they have no means of support, I\'m gonna go
to the food bank first. And I\'m gonna get them

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a couple of bags of groceries. Can I can\'t do any
reading, writing, arithmetic if I\'ve got somebody

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uh with an empty stomach. And I
try and mentor them as well as I

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can with issues like relationships.
With choice of peers.

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[sil.] I told you.

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Kelsie is of Steve\'s students.
And her crystal meth use

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was so bad that her mother finally gave
up on her. I couldn\'t live with her.

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There\'s no way. She was so
messed up on this crystal meth,

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and completely, um, disruptive. I just couldn\'t
live with her. I just flat out told, you have to

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go. Leave. And, and she did.
I\'m just to the end of

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my rope, and I don\'t really know, any more,

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what I can do. I been clean for like,

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almost six months, I gue-, I think.
Um, I\'m going to school. Well, I\'m

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done for the year now. But, and
I\'m working for Hell\'s Gate.

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[sil.]

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I don\'t always believe him when he
says he\'s clean, because I\'m not sure.

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Unless they were to do a drug test
on him, I wouldn\'t know for sure.

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They get attached to weird things, so

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that\'s, the weird things. They took the
kids\' baby teeth. You know, I had saved.

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So, yeah. Like why the hell would somebody who\'s supposed
to be your friend break into your house in the first place?

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That was the time they took my dad,
was the first time. This is my dad.

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He, um, was cremated and he\'s in the box.
We haven\'t quite had him buried yet.

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Luckily, made a couple phone
calls to some of Aaron\'s

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friends and they returned \'em. I also sold a lot of
my stuff to get it, too. I wasn\'t much of a criminal.

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Just my CD players. My wood disc ones.

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Ohh, like...

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Sorry, Aaron.

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I know it can\'t be easy for him, because every time he does
something that\'s a little bit different, I\'m yelling at him, saying

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\'Oh, you\'re doing meth again.\' Then he gets really
upset, but I don\'t think he really understands

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what, what we went through
when he was doing it.

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Kelsie\'s boyfriend was arrested on drug
charges, and now Kim has allowed her to come

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home. Well, I just found out
she\'s pregnant. And, uh,

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it\'s not good news. Quite frankly,
I don\'t know how she\'s going

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to manage. She has no job,
she dropped out of school,

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on and on it goes, right? Her
boyfriend doesn\'t have a job.

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And, her dad and I have
just told her, well,

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we\'re not supporting the child. We\'re not
doing it. And if she did start using

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again, well, being pregnant,
that\'s, that\'s a huge

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concern. I mean, not only now is she putting her own
health and wellness in jeopardy, but now she\'s also

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involving, and putting the baby\'s
health and wellness in jeopardy, and

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you can\'t turn that back. You can\'t
change that. The damage could be done.

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So that\'s a big problem. Hey. Hi

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You wanna come in? Well, cuz, I mean,

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I sorta need to know what your plan is.
Part of,

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of our reasoning for wanting you to

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get out, is to make Brian be responsible.

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And, you-Well maybe, there\'s a chance
though, but it-, you know, when the baby\'s

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born, he could smarten up. It\'s not likely,
but. Sometimes it happens I guess.

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Occasionally, I suppose it can.
Kind of excited.

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Definitely take the baby for walks.

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It\'s gonna be alright. Thank you momma.
It\'s gonna be okay.

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Yeah. It\'s my first real grandchild,

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you know. It is. Yeah, it\'s my first one.

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So I am excited, I just,
worried, very worried.

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Me too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It\'ll be

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okay. You just need to stay clean. That\'s
most important. Have a healthy baby, now.

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Yep. Good.

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Kelsie, you know it was last December that I registered
you, December the eighth, for that GED exam,

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and you\'re telling me you want
to reschedule to the fall, now.

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Can you tell me why? Cuz I found, I found out I was
pregnant. I been, morning sickness, I haven\'t been able to

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come to school for that reason. That\'s quite
a surprising bit of news, I didn\'t know

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that, number one, and number two,
a phone call would of been nice.

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So, where does school fit in.
S\'pretty much priority, almost.

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Still a priority? Even though you\'re gonna be a mom?
Yeah, it\'s more a priority, because I\'m gonna be a mom.

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You\'re, you\'re battling a tough, fight.

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When you due? Uh, December 30th.
That\'s just my approximate, estimated,

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I go in for an ultrasound in August, maybe.
I\'m going to reschedule the exam,

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it\'s a one time only reschedule, it\'ll
be to the fall, and I hoping that with

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your new motivation, on top
of the inner strength that

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I\'m sure you have, that you\'ll be able to follow through
and complete this, and get your high school grade 12.

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I\'ll see you in September,
just like the song.

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Kelsie and Brian found an
apartment near her mom\'s house.

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And Kim drops by regularly
to see how Kelsie\'s doing.

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Where\'d you get that plant? I got
it at, uh, down at Wal-Mart.

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Needs to be re-potted. Yes, badly, look at
how-Oh, I know, huh? Hey, oh my goodness.

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I\'m not sure how healthy this relationship
is. I heard that Brian recently was release

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from prison, he was in for three months,
I believe, for a drug offense. So,

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how much consistent support is
this person gonna give Kelsie.

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Because this is such a nasty habit. It is such a brutal
addiction, and I think maybe the one thing that could help her

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break this addiction is
the love of her baby.

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[sil.]

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I can understand why people, um,
would want to keep it hush hush.

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But I don\'t think it\'s the right thing to do,
because we need, we need discussion around this,

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we need, um, a mission around this,
we need, we need some solutions

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and the only way, I think, that, that\'s, that, that
ball will get rolling is if people start opening up and

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talking about the problem, and it\'s huge.
It\'s huge in our community,

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and I don\'t think our community\'s alone.

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[sil.]

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In a small town, word gets around, and Kim
has been invited over to Elizabeth\'s house.

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She\'s worried about her daughter LeRae. The parallels
between our stories are very, very similar.

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There\'s so many threads
that are common, um,

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and I sometimes think that what I did, if
there was something I did do, maybe I gave

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Kelsie too much freedom.

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K Her whole attitude changed toward us,

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you know, she\'s told me that she doesn\'t want me around her at all. Part
of her life, part of her graduation. Anything to do with her life, period.

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She doesn\'t want me in her life.
Did she have, take any pills?

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Um, like Gravol (ph), or-Yes.
Yes, yes. Gravol,

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was a big thing. Oh, no way.
Because she got sick, or?

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When they\'re coming down, they\'re fe-, they feel
awful. And nausea, nausea is a big, um, a big

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aspect of it. They can also get high on-See
we tried to deceive ourselves, yeah-

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They can also get high on large amounts
of Gravol. Really? Yes. Yep. So,

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I mean, I don\'t, I don\'t know if she\'s,
if she was using it to get high,

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I know they do, they can. But it\'s a large amount,
but I also know that they, they\'re absolutely sick

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when they\'re coming down, and
nausea is a big part of-

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Oh my God, and she\'s always sayin\' she was sick,
and-So you know there\'s many other parents who are

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going through this, this as well. And, uh, if
you just say, okay, this is what\'s going on,

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this is what\'s happening in her
life, I believe then, you actually

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bring, you, start a better road of
recovery, because the denial is

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not, is not helping anybody.
She took my diary.

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She took my diary, she um, well

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the day that I left, she took my diary, I was gettin\'
into this state where I just wanted to leave, and

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never come back. Then I went to talk
to her, and I told her that, and,

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we were upstairs and she went downstairs because I had, the
night before I had told her that I was gonna kill myself.

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Like I, was, she was making me so mad, like
she, like her husband was like pushing me

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so hard. Kelsie\'s stop patter was so, uh,

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chaotic, that she could not finish a task. Do half the
garbage, and then leave it in the middle of the floor-

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Yep, yes. -and then start something else. Exactly.
It was scary. One day she, she put plastic

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bags in the drier, yes, and so I actually
got to the point where I was afraid to

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leave her at home, because I was not sure

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what she would do, because she obviously
wasn\'t thinking straight. She,

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I, I\'m sure that she\'s gonna wanna make
amends. Because, you are her mother, and

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right now she\'s not herself, and
we need to keep that in mind,

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like I really needed to keep that in mind, and
people around me had to keep reminding me.

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She\'s not herself right now, you know,
this drug is a powerful, powerful

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drug. Why don\'t we get some, uh, some ground beef
would be good. Sure. Let\'s get some ground beef-

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I\'m just really concerned about her health and well
being, and that of the baby. I took her a bag of

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groceries, we actually shopping together. She looked a
little bit on the pale and pinky side, I\'m not sure how

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strong her immune system is, and she
is due this December. That\'s not very

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far away. So, I\'m just hoping she\'s
keeping up her nutrition that\'s gonna

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allow her to have a good
pregnancy to term, so I\'m

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hopin\', but, I\'m not gonna, I\'m not
gonna bet on it. Aaron is doing well

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at school. And he also picked up another
job at a new Italian restaurant in town.

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So, next time I see you, you
gonna be more Italian? Yep.

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Okay. Ciao! Ciao! Ciao! Bambino!

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Sometimes I forget that that\'s that
guy\'s job. He gets paid to do that.

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So how did you get this job? I walked in with my resume,
and I said, you need some cooks, and they\'s like yep!

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And I\'s like here you go. Got an interview
that day, got the job that day.

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Are you still okay, or are
you using any of the-

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I relapsed for a bit, but I\'m back now.

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Because I\'m not torturing myself, I\'m not gonna say I\'ll never do it
again, I\'m just saying, you know, I stopped, cuz I have a life that

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wanna live.

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[sil.]

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Aaron, now he\'s like, \'I\'m the
God, \' and yeah, it\'s like

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weird. He\'s just like, \'I\'m, I\'m the king

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and if you tell me to do something, you can
just shut up and go to your room, \' and

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he does stuff like that. He\'s had
some weird moments lately, so I don\'t

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know if he\'s doing meth again,
or just, did he say that he was?

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Okay, yeah, because he thinks
that we can\'t tell. And,

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I don\'t know w-, I ask him all the
time, \'No, I\'m not, no I\'m not\' well,

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I looked at him last night at work, and I could kinda tell
his face is kinda drawn in, and his eyes get this funny look

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and he gets bags, so, it\'s,
yeah, it\'s really hard.

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Inch by inch, I\'m finding my place.

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Inch by inch, I\'m really

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disgraced. Chuck in town
here, who does a lot with

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recording and stuff, and I\'d like Aaron to, to connect
with him maybe, and, and it would be such an incentive for

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Aaron, I mean, if he could see that, being
straight actually is rewarding, and that he could

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meet somebody who\'d be interested in his
music. I think that that would just be

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the coolest thing for him.

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Oops, fuck, fucked it up, see, I was trying to
throw somethin\' in there, but I messed it up.

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Well, I think, uh, Aaron is, is a really
talented singer, songwriter, and guitar player.

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And to think that he\'s come
up with this, this uh,

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unique approach to, uh, music,
taking his Metallica influences

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and his crystal meth influences,
and uh, applying these to his

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acoustic guitar with no
lessons, no direction-

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If you really exist.
You better hold me down.

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You better hold me down.

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From what Kim said, I honestly
believe LeRae was doing

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uh, doing something. I can\'t believe that she
would look through my room, like that\'s,

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the kinda things that you
just don\'t do with your kids.

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I don\'t believe that you have that much Gravol hidden in your
room in three different spots. I don\'t really know where

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she found Gravol. I don\'t know.
That\'s weird.

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I really think something\'s gone on, and she
just hasn\'t told you yet. She was doing it.

00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.999
I know she\'s done it. The way she was acting
when she was in here, just the way Kim said her

00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:09.999
daughter was. He\'s sleeping
and it\'s almost two?

00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.999
If that says anything.

00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:19.999
I wish I had that opportunity.

00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:24.999
He\'s outta my way in there.

00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:29.999
So what about, um, Brian, do you think, is he using, or has he got any-I
don\'t see him do it, I don\'t know if, I don\'t know that he does it

00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.999
or not. As far as I know, he doesn\'t. So. He
doesn\'t do it here, so, it\'s all I can judge.

00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:39.999
He just, doesn\'t got everything together,

00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.999
up in his head. He\'s gotta
straighten some things out.

00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:49.999
He needs a wake up call.
But, I\'m tired of trying.

00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:54.999
I\'m tired of trying to do-, be the wake up call. But
I can see like, if I, if I was to be around it all

00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:59.999
the time, then it would not be as
easy as it is for me to not do it.

00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:04.999
Kim is concerned about
the influence Brian has

00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:09.999
on Kelsie drug use. And she\'s
looking for a professional opinion.

00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:14.999
The reason they turn to peers is if their
attachment needs are not met in the adult world.

00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:19.999
We used to grow up in the context of village,
clan, tribe, community, neighborhood.

00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:24.999
The neighborhood grocer, the family doctor
has been a stable figure, you know,

00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:29.999
the, the neighbors being surrogate
parents, the tribal elders,

00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:34.999
where is all that stuff now? The extended family\'s gone,
grandparents live in Halifax, we have grandchildren live in VC.

00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:39.999
Huge divorce rate, lotta stress on the
families, the parents are very stressed,

00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:44.999
so that parents are just not enough to give their
kids the kind of calm, nurturing, non-stressed

00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:49.999
attention that brain development actually needs. So
our kids brains are not developing the way they ought

00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:54.999
to be. And then, not being
able to tolerate lack of, uh,

00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:59.999
attachment contacts, they\'ll attach to whoever\'s
around. Who they imprint on in this culture,

00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.999
they imprint on each other. Once they
imprint on each other, they push us away.

00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:09.999
Then everything you say is just so much noise.
Now what happens is, to attach to each other,

00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.999
they have to become more out there
to become cool. Now cool means,

00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:19.999
shutting down emotion. They\'re no longer curious, they\'re
no longer excited, they\'re no longer interested about life,

00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:24.999
you, you cool. Nothing happens.
When you shut down

00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:29.999
your emotions, you stop developing, you stay very immature,
number one. Number two, the world becomes very boring

00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:34.999
when you shut down emotionally. Now what
are you gonna do to feel more alive?

00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.999
Do drugs. Do drugs. Stimulants. Or they have to get into
early sexuality. You know, again, to have the attachment

00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:44.999
needs met. So it\'s all part and parcel
of the same thing. And it\'s not an

00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.999
individual parenting failure, it\'s a
whole social, cultural breakdown.

00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.999
So I\'d be very concerned about anybody
using any kind of drugs during

00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.999
pregnancy because the baby\'s developing, the
nervous system is very vulnerable to all kinds of

00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.999
influences. I jus-, I just had
to get some s-, my, my laundry.

00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:09.999
I\'m going to do my driving test.
If I get there in time.

00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:14.999
But I\'m already late.

00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:23.000
[music]

00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
A month after Aaron started his

00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
new job, I saw him outside the school.
So, how is it

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
going? I got fired.

00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
What happened? Well, I was late.

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
And when he lost his job at \"It\'s A Pizza\",
it took a big blow out of his, his

00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
self-esteem, I think. Plus, he lost all his
friends, he didn\'t talk to anybody anymore, and

00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
so he started hangin\' out with his old friends again, and I
think that he probably had that same sort of, \'Oh, I could just

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
do one or two, \' um, I think he
smokes it, I\'m not sure, but I could

00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
do one or two hoots, I think that\'s what
they call it, and then, I\'ll be okay, I can

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
stop. I just got bored and decided fuckin\' I\'m a grown man, I
don\'t need to torture myself, I can get high if I want to.

00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
He took six years out of his life, where you were
supposed to be growing up and changing, and he didn\'t.

00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
So, emotionally and socially,
he\'s still at a 15 year old,

00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
not a 20 year old. I haven\'t seen any,
like, super negative effects, yet.

00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
Like maybe, lost a bit of weight,
big deal, fuck, I\'ll gain it back.

00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
I haven\'t seen Aaron at all. I hardly saw
him last week. Maybe showed up two days.

00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
And, I think, uh, what we all fear is, is
coming to pass. And it was reinforced for me

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
this morning, his brother Kyler (ph) told me
that, uh, he\'s back on the jibb (ph). And I

00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
figured that that was what was happening. It\'s affected
my motivation, because I was all gun-ho to get a job,

00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
had my resume typed up, handed it out everywhere, and
now I\'m just gonna wait until Hell\'s Gate opens again.

00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
I\'m not even gonna try to get another job.

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
I noticed that this coincided, the whole, sort of, downward slide,
he talked to his dad, and he asked if he could go live with him,

00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
until he found his own place and got a job, cuz
he wants to be an adult. That\'s what he wants

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
to do. And his dad said, well, \'I\'m sorry, but at this
point in my life, I\'m not ready to make that sort of

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
commitment. Because he was
doing so good up until then.

00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:58.000
[sil.]

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
LeRae lives with her dad
and hasn\'t seen her mom in

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
weeks. Oh, I miss her, terribly. It\'s,
you know, some days are better than

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
others. And, uh, it\'s just really hard to
live in the same town and know that your

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
daughter doesn\'t want anything to do
with you, because of what she was doing.

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
That\'s why I don\'t wanna talk to her. Cuz it\'s the same
thing, she hasn\'t changed anything. I\'ve know I-, I know I\'ve

00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
changed. And I know I don\'t do drugs.
And, I know that I\'m not

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
gonna go back there. Because the same thing happens
every time. She said she doesn\'t want me to

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
call her, she\'ll call me. So we\'ll
see how long it takes before

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
she calls me.

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
[sil.]

00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
Your GED exam, your GED exam that
we worked so hard on, right?

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
Well, I passed. Passed which one?
All of \'em. All five? You passed

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
all five? Seriously? First time? First time.
Well, seeing is believing. May I see the report?

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
Wow-I know, she did well in
some of them, didn\'t she? Wow,

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
94 in science, when did that come about? 99 in
my-I\'m working towards that. 99 in Language Arts

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
and Reading. Congratulations.
I\'m very pleased.

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
I\'m very happy for ya. And I\'m proud of ya,
and I\'m very pleased. I completed something.

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
You did. You did. you did. Yes.

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
I\'ve re-, I\'ve never been in the studio before, so I don\'t even
know what\'s goin\' on whenever I go in there. How\'s it goin?

00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
Nice couch. Here\'s what you wanted.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
We\'re gonna come up with
a, a product that he can

00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
uh, be proud of, and uh, go into the
music industry, go out into the

00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
world, and, have this calling
card that represents him.

00:25:55.000 --> 00:26:03.000
[sil.]

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
You know what? Funny thing, it\'s the
only copy I brought was like, this.

00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
Scrap that. I\'ll wing it.

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
You\'re hurting someone
else, I\'m telling you to.

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
[sil.]

00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
Just couldn\'t remember the chorus, there? Yeah, that\'s fuckin\', ah.
I\'m fuckin\' s-Could you turn the camera off for a bit, please?

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:38.000
[sil.]

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
I can do one more.

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
[sil.]

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
I\'m hoping that, that, that
as the more Aaron gets, uh,

00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
involved in his music, the less interested
in, things which are debilitating

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
to himself and his music
will be will be for him.

00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:18.000
[sil.]

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
On Christmas Eve, I had an urgent
call from Kim, that Kelsie is in

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
labor.

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
[sil.]

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
We\'d been waiting with Kelsie in labor for

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
about seven hours, when the doctor
told us that something wasn\'t right.

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
Times like this, you start to
say, \'What\'s goin\' on, right?\'

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
I mean, this, the cervix is not changing at
all. We\'d like to know why things aren\'t,

00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
aren\'t moving along. So I\'ll come back.

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
I think you\'re gonna need a caesarian. I think so. Yeah,
yeah, because they don\'t wanna distress the baby any more,

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
and you have gone through enough.
Okay, I\'m gonna go call your dad,

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
cuz I want him to come here, okay.
Brian, he\'s gonna come to.

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:23.000
[sil.]

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
See your new daughter? Sweet girl?

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
She\'s got my lips, eh?

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
For sure. For sure.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
[sil.]

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
Thank you, mom. Hey! No drugs, eh? There\'s
no drugs here. Do you see any drug

00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
dealers here? Besides me, no? Thank you very much.
That\'s the best present I\'ve gotten all year.

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
He\'s being kinda like really
crazy, and he\'s been like swearing

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
at mom. And, she, he\'s just, he
needs to learn how to control his

00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
temper. Take in mind it\'s my birthday,
so I\'m like, trying to like,

00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
enjoy this.

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:18.000
[sil.]

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
I know I\'m gonna have to ask him to
leave, cuz he, \'kay, he\'s 21 years old,

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
he\'s an adult, can\'t be livin\'
like this, comin\' and just

00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
place to crash. Get clean, get some
clean clothes and go. I\'m not a hotel.

00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
I don\'t even live, like I live
here, but I\'m never here.

00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
\'Cause I\'m always trying to get some dope. And I
know, Kyler, uh, my other son, he\'s, he\'s quite

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
upset because him and Aaron are very
close, and always have been very close.

00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
He, he doesn\'t like watching his brother,
uh, get destroyed like this. So-

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
Fuck, it\'s, it\'s just a drug and fuckin\', it fucks you in
the head so hard, you think it\'s not fuckin\' you in the

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
head, you know. I never think I\'m gonna
get emotional. Because, I mean, he\'s 21,

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
like I said, he\'s an adult, and,
but I guess, as a mother, it\'s

00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
it\'s not so easy to turn off. What,
what do you think, if you do, do

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
tell him to leave and not come
back, what\'s gonna happen to him?

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
Um, I think that he\'ll probably
end up in jail before he, uh,

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
before he straightens out. Really. Yeah.
Um, I just hope that he doesn\'t

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
hurt somebody before he goes to jail. I\'m just at my
wits end, I\'m either gonna kill myself, or fuckin\' just

00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
be a dick to like, lots
of people who deserve it.

00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
Fuckin\' rip me off, and fuckin\' said they\'re my
friends, and said they\'re my fuckin\' bro or whatever.

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.999
And fuck, I mean. It\'s, no

00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
actually, that\'s actually not what I\'m gon-,
what I\'m gonna do, I\'m gonna pawn my stereo,

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
get some drugs, and get high, and then everything will
be all better, because I won\'t be here, and fuckin\'

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
yeah. Um, j-,

00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
fuckin\' I don\'t know.

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
I\'m sorry.

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
Somebody had mentioned that they had seen

00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
her grad dress. And, my heart broke.

00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
I wanted to be with her to do that. And now

00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
I\'m not. Cuz it\'s to-, it,
it\'s too painful to, uh,

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
know that, you know, I have flashbacks of

00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
her childhood. And all
the little things that

00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
I did, and that we did together.

00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
[sil.]

00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
Nope. Not moving back, I\'m
moving to Alberta next year.

00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
With my dad.

00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
[sil.]

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
So, how\'s it going with Brian?

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:48.000
Does he have a job, yet? No, he\'s lying
down, he\'s just not feeling good.

00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
How\'re you feeling? I have a migraine?

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
I know. Is it any better? No. Okay.
Thank you. Were you ever worried about

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
that, that she would be affected by
your use of crystal meth? Oh, yeah.

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
But, she obviously isn\'t. So.

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
Hey. You gotta do what you

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
gotta do, when you gotta do it. I owe some
people some money and I told \'em I\'d have it.

00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
And, this is the best way to insure
that I give them their money.

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
If I brought my stereo in, and you took a
look at it, um, would you be able to possibly

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
buy it off me for a short period of time?

00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
A-, Aaron Webb.

00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:53.000
[sil.]

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
It\'s just six more weeks to graduation,

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
when LeRae decides to visit her mom.
What\'s wrong? To take your kid\'s diary.

00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
That is wrong. Okay, LeRae,
you know, the police told us-

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
No, I don\'t care what the police did, you
should feel, as a mother, that is wrong.

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
You don\'t understand that that\'s so wrong.
That\'s all my personal beliefs, and you

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
went and read them with Chris. I didn\'t
read them with Chris, I read them myself-

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
Yes, you did! You told me! You said to
me!- I read them. I read it, LeRae.

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
Nobody\'s judging you, LeRae.
Nobody\'s judging you, we

00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
just wanted to find out if you were
on fucking crystal meth! Okay?

00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.999
Why couldn\'t you just ask me or let me get
a drug test. You were lying, you were

00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.999
deceiving, you were stealing,
you were taking off, and

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
you were on drugs, and I still believe it to this day, you were
on drugs. What were the frickin\' pills for. Anybody I talked to

00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
about those pills told me it was
to come off of crystal meth.

00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
It\'s not to come off crystal meth. Then what\'s
it to come of, LeRae? Nothing-Bullshit.

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
Whatever. I don\'t wanna be told I\'m a bad
mother because I don\'t do the things you want

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
me to do, or be this person that you, have

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
this fantasy about that I\'m
supposed to be this wonder mother.

00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
Perfect person. I\'m not perfect, LeRae. I made
mistakes. Why do you expect me to be perfect?

00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
I don\'t expect you to be perfect, I just
don\'t want you to go through your life

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
lying.

00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
I\'m going home.

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
So whatta you been doin\'
the last month? Drugs.

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
Aaron, you look gaunt. Yeah, I know, I\'m s-You\'re a lovely young man, and I
look at ya, and you\'re lookin\' gaunt, you\'re looking very sunken in the cheeks,

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
oh yeah, complexion ain\'t that great.
Are you eating? Yeah.

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
Are ya? Yeah. Yeah? Well it\'s a hell of a
way to diet. Yeah, fuck, I don\'t know, I

00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
don\'t even wanna talk about it. Nn-, you don\'t wanna talk
about? Well, listen, more importantly, when can I get you back

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
because I do miss you, and you and I go way back. I\'m thinkin\' uh, I\'m
thinkin\' like next Monday, or, possibly sooner, yeah. Are ya? Yeah?

00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
Well listen, Aaron. Please look after yourself.
Please come back. And stay connected with me.

00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
Even if you phone me once in a while, phone me. Okay. Okay?
I want you to, you know my number. Okay? Yep. Will do.

00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
Good to see you. You too, man. You
know, the most upsetting thing

00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
apart from seeing him and talking
to him, is to hear him say,

00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
that as much as he knows
it\'s ruining his life, he

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
loves it. He loves it. He said that
at least twice. He just loves it.

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
And so he\'s entrenched
in that addiction again,

00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
and he\'s lovin\' it. Even
though it\'s killin\' him.

00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:58.000
[sil.]

00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
Yeah, we haven\'t seen him much, he just came home, we\'ll
see, he\'ll be really grouchy in the next few days.

00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
He\'s lost tons of weight. Tons of weight.
I mean he\'s, you can\'t, he\'s got

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
his hat on, so you can\'t see it, but
he\'s got little scabbies, and yeah,

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
so. I think he\'s selling, too,
because he\'s been getting money from

00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
someplace. But I think it\'s only a
matter of time before he gets caught.

00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
[sil.]

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
Had a call from one of my liaison officers,

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
and, uh, Aaron was arrested,
crystal meth possession, and

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
and apparently, I guess, he was being very, uh,
obstructionist and obstreperous, and as a result, he\'s also

00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
been charged with resisting arrest. And
he\'s currently in cells. And that\'s

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
very disappointing, but again,
I guess, not surprising.

00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
When I went to pick him up, they released him on, they gave him
a conditional release that he be drug free for four months,

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
he has to report to the police officer every
Friday, and a few other-, go to school every day,

00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
and they will drop all the charges against him. It\'s
not fair. I\'m not a criminal. Fuckin\', you made me

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
sit in fuckin\' prison until my mom came and
picked me up, like I\'m so lucky to have my mom,

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
that she\'d do something like that, eh? Oh.
I don\'t know. Fuckin\' buncha bullshit,

00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
I don\'t give a-, even give a shit, he said, \'Clean up your act,
go back to school, I\'ll drop all the charges.\' I\'s like, \'Deal!\'

00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
You know, I\'m gonna take the easy way
out, fuck. I don-, I don\'t know any more.

00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
I\'d like to say that he\'s just gonna quit, and
carry on with his life, but I don\'t think

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
he\'s gonna make that choice. Nobody makes you
do it. You do it on your own. He\'s doin\' it cuz

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
he wants to. I\'ll binge for a couple
months and s-, then stop, for at least a

00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
month. For every three months I\'ve been using. I think. That\'s
what I\'ve worked it out to. I got it all mathematically

00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
chopped up and everything. Like out of the
past six yea-, six, seven years, I\'ve

00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
probably, been awake for a
good solid five of that.

00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
You think that anybody who have been on it for
a while, that will be able to stop forever?

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
No.

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
I doubt it. I seriously

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
do. Hello. How are you doing

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
LeRae? Oh, we\'re fine now. It\'s okay now.
We-, I apologized

00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
to her, she apologized to me, we\'re okay.

00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
Yep, she\'s learned the lessons that we thought she had to
learn, so, you know, and there\'ll be lots more to come.

00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:43.000
[sil.]

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
I think she did try it with the people
that she was hanging around with, but

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
I\'m glad that she wasn\'t one of
the kids that got on, hooked

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
on that drug. But, we\'ll see what happens.

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
[sil.]

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
What has happened since
the last time I saw you?

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
Um, um well Brian moved out. How,
how did that happen. Did you

00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
decide to, or did he decide to. What
happened? Uh, he just, never came back,

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
pretty much. Just left one
day and didn\'t come back.

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
Are you concerned about the fact that
there might be a temptation to use again?

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
No. No, its out. It\'s gone. It was
one of those things in her life

00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
that, um, lasted for about a year.
It was a very rough

00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
year. And, I do believe that
that part of her life is

00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
over. And that, um, her
experimentation with

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
this very profound drug is finished.

00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
Um, who knows what the future holds, but
I, I really, really believe that, um, her

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
daughter has given her
a new purpose in life.

00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
You know, what\'s the forecast. In a small town
like this, it\'s mighty tough. Every time you walk

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
down the street, every time you turn the corner, every
time you walk across that park, you\'re gonna see

00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
the same people who use. You\'re gonna
have the same opportunities to get

00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
back into the life of drugs.
And all I can do is to

00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.999
keep reminding Kelsie of this, and to hope that she has
the inner strength, and she has enough where-with-all,

00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
for the love of her baby, as well
as the well-being of herself,

00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
to stay strong, and to stay clean.

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:48.000
[sil.]

00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
Are you gonna make it? Yeah,
I\'m gonna fuckin\' do it.

00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:05.000
[sil.]