Crystal Fear, Crystal Clear
Methamphetamine, or 'crystal meth' as it is sometimes known, is the third most abused street drug in the world, and has become the drug of choice for teenagers in small towns across North America. Highly addictive, cheap, and easy to get, meth is also an incredibly dangerous drug that can cause psychosis, permanent brain damage, and even death. Crystal Fear, Crystal Clear documents a year in the lives of three families devastated by this powerful, seductive drug.
Kelsie had stopped using meth, but when she chooses to move in with her drug-dealing boyfriend her parents almost give up on her - then she becomes pregnant. Will her coming baby give her the motivation to stay clean? Despite evidence to the contrary, LeRae hotly denies using drugs, and becomes estranged from her mother who, she finds out, has read her diary. She even refuses to let her mother attend her high school graduation.
Aaron is an aspiring young musician. His mother, Michelle, is a nurse who sees meth abusers coming into her emergency room on a regular basis, so she's no stranger to what's going on with her son - she's had to ask him to leave the house because of his violent behavior toward her other kids. For now, he's cutting a demo with a local producer, and he's stopped using - or has he?
The program also features the dedicated principal of the alternative school the teens attend. He provides important emotional support and counseling to Aaron and Kelsie, and is clearly an important influence in their lives. Crystal Fear, Crystal Clear sheds light on a rapidly growing problem that affects communities of all sizes across Canada and the United States.
Wunderman, Eva (film director)
Wunderman, Eva (screenwriter)
Wunderman, Eva (film producer)
Poskitt, Patti (film producer)
Directed and written by Eva Wunderman; producers, Patti Poskitt, Eva Wunderman; editor, Jane Morrison.
Distributor subjectsAdolescence; Community and Public Health; Fanlight Collection; Health Care Issues; Substance Abuse / Addiction
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In small towns across
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Canada, crystal meth has become the drug
of choice for many teens. It\'s cheap,
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easy to get, but it\'s also highly
addictive. You know you\'re hurtin\',
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and you know when you look hurt, and you know you look like
shit, but it don\'t matter, as long as you got a pipe and
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shit in your hand, it don\'t matter. The first time you do
it, a lot of people just get hooked, and they can\'t get out
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out if. Oh, if you try it once, fuck.
You\'re gonna like it. He swears a lot.
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Yeah, he\'s threatened to kill the whole
family while we\'re sleeping, and so-
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Yeah, he\'s like, I know where you sleep.
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I live in a, in a typical
small town called Hope,
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about two hours from Vancouver. And over the
period of a year, I filmed the stories of three
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families whose lives were affected by crystal meth.
I didn\'t have to go far to find these stories.
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Because crystal meth is invading our
neighborhood with an incredible speed.
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Yeah, jus-, crank glass, ice,
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speed, fuck, meth, boy.
Amphetamines, fuckin\' hoots,
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I don\'t know, got any shit? Oh, man.
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Michelle is a mother of four. And she
works at the only hospital in hope.
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Her eldest son, Aaron, has been using
crystal meth on and off for five years.
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Crystal meth causes a specific psychotic
state. It\'s dangerous. It\'s dangerous to the
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patient, it\'s dangerous to the staff. It\'s
dangerous to the family whose down there,
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they don\'t know what to do. In emergency here, you see these
people who come in in their early 20\'s they\'ve been doing crystal
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meth for a few years, and their such beautiful
people, and they have such wonderful
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minds and their destroying it, and now they\'re not
the same person you, you knew before. When I talk
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to my kids about it, and I didn\'t realize, at
that time, I think my oldest son had just started
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experimenting with it himself.
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It\'s taken a huge toll on our family.
It\'s been a rough, uphill ride.
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He was very violent. A lot of times
I had to ask him to leave the house
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because we couldn\'t keep him here, because it wasn\'t
safe for the other kids to, to be living here.
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I was just devastated, and I phoned Steve
Fachler, and we talked, and I cried and
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cried and cried. Come
on, come on, let\'s go!
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The kind of job that I have is certainly not typical. I
take what I call a very holistic view with the students.
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True, I\'m providing reading and writing,
arithmetic, academic upgrading to a
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high school graduation level. But as
importantly, uh, these days, I provide
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emotional support. If a young
person has a drug addiction
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before I get worried too much about school, I\'m
gonna provide alcohol and drug support services.
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If a person is on income assistance, or
they\'re not even on income assistance,
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and they have no means of support, I\'m gonna go
to the food bank first. And I\'m gonna get them
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a couple of bags of groceries. Can I can\'t do any
reading, writing, arithmetic if I\'ve got somebody
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uh with an empty stomach. And I
try and mentor them as well as I
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can with issues like relationships.
With choice of peers.
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[sil.] I told you.
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Kelsie is of Steve\'s students.
And her crystal meth use
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was so bad that her mother finally gave
up on her. I couldn\'t live with her.
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There\'s no way. She was so
messed up on this crystal meth,
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and completely, um, disruptive. I just couldn\'t
live with her. I just flat out told, you have to
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go. Leave. And, and she did.
I\'m just to the end of
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my rope, and I don\'t really know, any more,
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what I can do. I been clean for like,
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almost six months, I gue-, I think.
Um, I\'m going to school. Well, I\'m
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done for the year now. But, and
I\'m working for Hell\'s Gate.
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I don\'t always believe him when he
says he\'s clean, because I\'m not sure.
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Unless they were to do a drug test
on him, I wouldn\'t know for sure.
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They get attached to weird things, so
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that\'s, the weird things. They took the
kids\' baby teeth. You know, I had saved.
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So, yeah. Like why the hell would somebody who\'s supposed
to be your friend break into your house in the first place?
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That was the time they took my dad,
was the first time. This is my dad.
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He, um, was cremated and he\'s in the box.
We haven\'t quite had him buried yet.
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Luckily, made a couple phone
calls to some of Aaron\'s
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friends and they returned \'em. I also sold a lot of
my stuff to get it, too. I wasn\'t much of a criminal.
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Just my CD players. My wood disc ones.
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I know it can\'t be easy for him, because every time he does
something that\'s a little bit different, I\'m yelling at him, saying
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\'Oh, you\'re doing meth again.\' Then he gets really
upset, but I don\'t think he really understands
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what, what we went through
when he was doing it.
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Kelsie\'s boyfriend was arrested on drug
charges, and now Kim has allowed her to come
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home. Well, I just found out
she\'s pregnant. And, uh,
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it\'s not good news. Quite frankly,
I don\'t know how she\'s going
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to manage. She has no job,
she dropped out of school,
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on and on it goes, right? Her
boyfriend doesn\'t have a job.
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And, her dad and I have
just told her, well,
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we\'re not supporting the child. We\'re not
doing it. And if she did start using
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again, well, being pregnant,
that\'s, that\'s a huge
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concern. I mean, not only now is she putting her own
health and wellness in jeopardy, but now she\'s also
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involving, and putting the baby\'s
health and wellness in jeopardy, and
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you can\'t turn that back. You can\'t
change that. The damage could be done.
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So that\'s a big problem. Hey. Hi
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You wanna come in? Well, cuz, I mean,
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I sorta need to know what your plan is.
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of our reasoning for wanting you to
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get out, is to make Brian be responsible.
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And, you-Well maybe, there\'s a chance
though, but it-, you know, when the baby\'s
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born, he could smarten up. It\'s not likely,
but. Sometimes it happens I guess.
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Occasionally, I suppose it can.
Kind of excited.
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Definitely take the baby for walks.
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It\'s gonna be alright. Thank you momma.
It\'s gonna be okay.
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Yeah. It\'s my first real grandchild,
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you know. It is. Yeah, it\'s my first one.
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So I am excited, I just,
worried, very worried.
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Me too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It\'ll be
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okay. You just need to stay clean. That\'s
most important. Have a healthy baby, now.
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Kelsie, you know it was last December that I registered
you, December the eighth, for that GED exam,
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and you\'re telling me you want
to reschedule to the fall, now.
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Can you tell me why? Cuz I found, I found out I was
pregnant. I been, morning sickness, I haven\'t been able to
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come to school for that reason. That\'s quite
a surprising bit of news, I didn\'t know
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that, number one, and number two,
a phone call would of been nice.
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So, where does school fit in.
S\'pretty much priority, almost.
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Still a priority? Even though you\'re gonna be a mom?
Yeah, it\'s more a priority, because I\'m gonna be a mom.
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You\'re, you\'re battling a tough, fight.
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When you due? Uh, December 30th.
That\'s just my approximate, estimated,
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I go in for an ultrasound in August, maybe.
I\'m going to reschedule the exam,
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it\'s a one time only reschedule, it\'ll
be to the fall, and I hoping that with
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your new motivation, on top
of the inner strength that
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I\'m sure you have, that you\'ll be able to follow through
and complete this, and get your high school grade 12.
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I\'ll see you in September,
just like the song.
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Kelsie and Brian found an
apartment near her mom\'s house.
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And Kim drops by regularly
to see how Kelsie\'s doing.
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Where\'d you get that plant? I got
it at, uh, down at Wal-Mart.
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Needs to be re-potted. Yes, badly, look at
how-Oh, I know, huh? Hey, oh my goodness.
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I\'m not sure how healthy this relationship
is. I heard that Brian recently was release
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from prison, he was in for three months,
I believe, for a drug offense. So,
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how much consistent support is
this person gonna give Kelsie.
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Because this is such a nasty habit. It is such a brutal
addiction, and I think maybe the one thing that could help her
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break this addiction is
the love of her baby.
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I can understand why people, um,
would want to keep it hush hush.
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But I don\'t think it\'s the right thing to do,
because we need, we need discussion around this,
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we need, um, a mission around this,
we need, we need some solutions
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and the only way, I think, that, that\'s, that, that
ball will get rolling is if people start opening up and
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talking about the problem, and it\'s huge.
It\'s huge in our community,
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and I don\'t think our community\'s alone.
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In a small town, word gets around, and Kim
has been invited over to Elizabeth\'s house.
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She\'s worried about her daughter LeRae. The parallels
between our stories are very, very similar.
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There\'s so many threads
that are common, um,
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and I sometimes think that what I did, if
there was something I did do, maybe I gave
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Kelsie too much freedom.
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K Her whole attitude changed toward us,
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you know, she\'s told me that she doesn\'t want me around her at all. Part
of her life, part of her graduation. Anything to do with her life, period.
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She doesn\'t want me in her life.
Did she have, take any pills?
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Um, like Gravol (ph), or-Yes.
Yes, yes. Gravol,
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was a big thing. Oh, no way.
Because she got sick, or?
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When they\'re coming down, they\'re fe-, they feel
awful. And nausea, nausea is a big, um, a big
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aspect of it. They can also get high on-See
we tried to deceive ourselves, yeah-
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They can also get high on large amounts
of Gravol. Really? Yes. Yep. So,
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I mean, I don\'t, I don\'t know if she\'s,
if she was using it to get high,
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I know they do, they can. But it\'s a large amount,
but I also know that they, they\'re absolutely sick
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when they\'re coming down, and
nausea is a big part of-
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Oh my God, and she\'s always sayin\' she was sick,
and-So you know there\'s many other parents who are
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going through this, this as well. And, uh, if
you just say, okay, this is what\'s going on,
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this is what\'s happening in her
life, I believe then, you actually
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bring, you, start a better road of
recovery, because the denial is
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not, is not helping anybody.
She took my diary.
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She took my diary, she um, well
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the day that I left, she took my diary, I was gettin\'
into this state where I just wanted to leave, and
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never come back. Then I went to talk
to her, and I told her that, and,
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we were upstairs and she went downstairs because I had, the
night before I had told her that I was gonna kill myself.
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Like I, was, she was making me so mad, like
she, like her husband was like pushing me
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so hard. Kelsie\'s stop patter was so, uh,
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chaotic, that she could not finish a task. Do half the
garbage, and then leave it in the middle of the floor-
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Yep, yes. -and then start something else. Exactly.
It was scary. One day she, she put plastic
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bags in the drier, yes, and so I actually
got to the point where I was afraid to
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leave her at home, because I was not sure
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what she would do, because she obviously
wasn\'t thinking straight. She,
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I, I\'m sure that she\'s gonna wanna make
amends. Because, you are her mother, and
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right now she\'s not herself, and
we need to keep that in mind,
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like I really needed to keep that in mind, and
people around me had to keep reminding me.
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She\'s not herself right now, you know,
this drug is a powerful, powerful
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drug. Why don\'t we get some, uh, some ground beef
would be good. Sure. Let\'s get some ground beef-
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I\'m just really concerned about her health and well
being, and that of the baby. I took her a bag of
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groceries, we actually shopping together. She looked a
little bit on the pale and pinky side, I\'m not sure how
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strong her immune system is, and she
is due this December. That\'s not very
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far away. So, I\'m just hoping she\'s
keeping up her nutrition that\'s gonna
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allow her to have a good
pregnancy to term, so I\'m
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hopin\', but, I\'m not gonna, I\'m not
gonna bet on it. Aaron is doing well
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at school. And he also picked up another
job at a new Italian restaurant in town.
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So, next time I see you, you
gonna be more Italian? Yep.
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Okay. Ciao! Ciao! Ciao! Bambino!
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Sometimes I forget that that\'s that
guy\'s job. He gets paid to do that.
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So how did you get this job? I walked in with my resume,
and I said, you need some cooks, and they\'s like yep!
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And I\'s like here you go. Got an interview
that day, got the job that day.
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Are you still okay, or are
you using any of the-
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I relapsed for a bit, but I\'m back now.
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Because I\'m not torturing myself, I\'m not gonna say I\'ll never do it
again, I\'m just saying, you know, I stopped, cuz I have a life that
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Aaron, now he\'s like, \'I\'m the
God, \' and yeah, it\'s like
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weird. He\'s just like, \'I\'m, I\'m the king
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and if you tell me to do something, you can
just shut up and go to your room, \' and
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he does stuff like that. He\'s had
some weird moments lately, so I don\'t
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know if he\'s doing meth again,
or just, did he say that he was?
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Okay, yeah, because he thinks
that we can\'t tell. And,
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I don\'t know w-, I ask him all the
time, \'No, I\'m not, no I\'m not\' well,
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I looked at him last night at work, and I could kinda tell
his face is kinda drawn in, and his eyes get this funny look
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and he gets bags, so, it\'s,
yeah, it\'s really hard.
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Inch by inch, I\'m finding my place.
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Inch by inch, I\'m really
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disgraced. Chuck in town
here, who does a lot with
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recording and stuff, and I\'d like Aaron to, to connect
with him maybe, and, and it would be such an incentive for
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Aaron, I mean, if he could see that, being
straight actually is rewarding, and that he could
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meet somebody who\'d be interested in his
music. I think that that would just be
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the coolest thing for him.
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Oops, fuck, fucked it up, see, I was trying to
throw somethin\' in there, but I messed it up.
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Well, I think, uh, Aaron is, is a really
talented singer, songwriter, and guitar player.
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And to think that he\'s come
up with this, this uh,
00:17:05.000 --> 00:17:09.999
unique approach to, uh, music,
taking his Metallica influences
00:17:10.000 --> 00:17:14.999
and his crystal meth influences,
and uh, applying these to his
00:17:15.000 --> 00:17:19.999
acoustic guitar with no
lessons, no direction-
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:24.999
If you really exist.
You better hold me down.
00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:29.999
You better hold me down.
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:34.999
From what Kim said, I honestly
believe LeRae was doing
00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:39.999
uh, doing something. I can\'t believe that she
would look through my room, like that\'s,
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:44.999
the kinda things that you
just don\'t do with your kids.
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:49.999
I don\'t believe that you have that much Gravol hidden in your
room in three different spots. I don\'t really know where
00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:54.999
she found Gravol. I don\'t know.
00:17:55.000 --> 00:17:59.999
I really think something\'s gone on, and she
just hasn\'t told you yet. She was doing it.
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.999
I know she\'s done it. The way she was acting
when she was in here, just the way Kim said her
00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:09.999
daughter was. He\'s sleeping
and it\'s almost two?
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:14.999
If that says anything.
00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:19.999
I wish I had that opportunity.
00:18:20.000 --> 00:18:24.999
He\'s outta my way in there.
00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:29.999
So what about, um, Brian, do you think, is he using, or has he got any-I
don\'t see him do it, I don\'t know if, I don\'t know that he does it
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:34.999
or not. As far as I know, he doesn\'t. So. He
doesn\'t do it here, so, it\'s all I can judge.
00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:39.999
He just, doesn\'t got everything together,
00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:44.999
up in his head. He\'s gotta
straighten some things out.
00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:49.999
He needs a wake up call.
But, I\'m tired of trying.
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:54.999
I\'m tired of trying to do-, be the wake up call. But
I can see like, if I, if I was to be around it all
00:18:55.000 --> 00:18:59.999
the time, then it would not be as
easy as it is for me to not do it.
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:04.999
Kim is concerned about
the influence Brian has
00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:09.999
on Kelsie drug use. And she\'s
looking for a professional opinion.
00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:14.999
The reason they turn to peers is if their
attachment needs are not met in the adult world.
00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:19.999
We used to grow up in the context of village,
clan, tribe, community, neighborhood.
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:24.999
The neighborhood grocer, the family doctor
has been a stable figure, you know,
00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:29.999
the, the neighbors being surrogate
parents, the tribal elders,
00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:34.999
where is all that stuff now? The extended family\'s gone,
grandparents live in Halifax, we have grandchildren live in VC.
00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:39.999
Huge divorce rate, lotta stress on the
families, the parents are very stressed,
00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:44.999
so that parents are just not enough to give their
kids the kind of calm, nurturing, non-stressed
00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:49.999
attention that brain development actually needs. So
our kids brains are not developing the way they ought
00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:54.999
to be. And then, not being
able to tolerate lack of, uh,
00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:59.999
attachment contacts, they\'ll attach to whoever\'s
around. Who they imprint on in this culture,
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.999
they imprint on each other. Once they
imprint on each other, they push us away.
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:09.999
Then everything you say is just so much noise.
Now what happens is, to attach to each other,
00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:14.999
they have to become more out there
to become cool. Now cool means,
00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:19.999
shutting down emotion. They\'re no longer curious, they\'re
no longer excited, they\'re no longer interested about life,
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:24.999
you, you cool. Nothing happens.
When you shut down
00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:29.999
your emotions, you stop developing, you stay very immature,
number one. Number two, the world becomes very boring
00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:34.999
when you shut down emotionally. Now what
are you gonna do to feel more alive?
00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.999
Do drugs. Do drugs. Stimulants. Or they have to get into
early sexuality. You know, again, to have the attachment
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:44.999
needs met. So it\'s all part and parcel
of the same thing. And it\'s not an
00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.999
individual parenting failure, it\'s a
whole social, cultural breakdown.
00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.999
So I\'d be very concerned about anybody
using any kind of drugs during
00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.999
pregnancy because the baby\'s developing, the
nervous system is very vulnerable to all kinds of
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.999
influences. I jus-, I just had
to get some s-, my, my laundry.
00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:09.999
I\'m going to do my driving test.
If I get there in time.
00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:14.999
But I\'m already late.
00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:23.000
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
A month after Aaron started his
00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
new job, I saw him outside the school.
So, how is it
00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
going? I got fired.
00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
What happened? Well, I was late.
00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
And when he lost his job at \"It\'s A Pizza\",
it took a big blow out of his, his
00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
self-esteem, I think. Plus, he lost all his
friends, he didn\'t talk to anybody anymore, and
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
so he started hangin\' out with his old friends again, and I
think that he probably had that same sort of, \'Oh, I could just
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
do one or two, \' um, I think he
smokes it, I\'m not sure, but I could
00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
do one or two hoots, I think that\'s what
they call it, and then, I\'ll be okay, I can
00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
stop. I just got bored and decided fuckin\' I\'m a grown man, I
don\'t need to torture myself, I can get high if I want to.
00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
He took six years out of his life, where you were
supposed to be growing up and changing, and he didn\'t.
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
So, emotionally and socially,
he\'s still at a 15 year old,
00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
not a 20 year old. I haven\'t seen any,
like, super negative effects, yet.
00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
Like maybe, lost a bit of weight,
big deal, fuck, I\'ll gain it back.
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
I haven\'t seen Aaron at all. I hardly saw
him last week. Maybe showed up two days.
00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
And, I think, uh, what we all fear is, is
coming to pass. And it was reinforced for me
00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
this morning, his brother Kyler (ph) told me
that, uh, he\'s back on the jibb (ph). And I
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
figured that that was what was happening. It\'s affected
my motivation, because I was all gun-ho to get a job,
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
had my resume typed up, handed it out everywhere, and
now I\'m just gonna wait until Hell\'s Gate opens again.
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
I\'m not even gonna try to get another job.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
I noticed that this coincided, the whole, sort of, downward slide,
he talked to his dad, and he asked if he could go live with him,
00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
until he found his own place and got a job, cuz
he wants to be an adult. That\'s what he wants
00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
to do. And his dad said, well, \'I\'m sorry, but at this
point in my life, I\'m not ready to make that sort of
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
commitment. Because he was
doing so good up until then.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:58.000
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
LeRae lives with her dad
and hasn\'t seen her mom in
00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
weeks. Oh, I miss her, terribly. It\'s,
you know, some days are better than
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
others. And, uh, it\'s just really hard to
live in the same town and know that your
00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
daughter doesn\'t want anything to do
with you, because of what she was doing.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
That\'s why I don\'t wanna talk to her. Cuz it\'s the same
thing, she hasn\'t changed anything. I\'ve know I-, I know I\'ve
00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
changed. And I know I don\'t do drugs.
And, I know that I\'m not
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
gonna go back there. Because the same thing happens
every time. She said she doesn\'t want me to
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
call her, she\'ll call me. So we\'ll
see how long it takes before
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
she calls me.
00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
Your GED exam, your GED exam that
we worked so hard on, right?
00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
Well, I passed. Passed which one?
All of \'em. All five? You passed
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
all five? Seriously? First time? First time.
Well, seeing is believing. May I see the report?
00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
Wow-I know, she did well in
some of them, didn\'t she? Wow,
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
94 in science, when did that come about? 99 in
my-I\'m working towards that. 99 in Language Arts
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
and Reading. Congratulations.
I\'m very pleased.
00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
I\'m very happy for ya. And I\'m proud of ya,
and I\'m very pleased. I completed something.
00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
You did. You did. you did. Yes.
00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
I\'ve re-, I\'ve never been in the studio before, so I don\'t even
know what\'s goin\' on whenever I go in there. How\'s it goin?
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
Nice couch. Here\'s what you wanted.
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
We\'re gonna come up with
a, a product that he can
00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
uh, be proud of, and uh, go into the
music industry, go out into the
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
world, and, have this calling
card that represents him.
00:25:55.000 --> 00:26:03.000
00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
You know what? Funny thing, it\'s the
only copy I brought was like, this.
00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
Scrap that. I\'ll wing it.
00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
You\'re hurting someone
else, I\'m telling you to.
00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
Just couldn\'t remember the chorus, there? Yeah, that\'s fuckin\', ah.
I\'m fuckin\' s-Could you turn the camera off for a bit, please?
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:38.000
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
I can do one more.
00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
I\'m hoping that, that, that
as the more Aaron gets, uh,
00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
involved in his music, the less interested
in, things which are debilitating
00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
to himself and his music
will be will be for him.
00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:18.000
00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
On Christmas Eve, I had an urgent
call from Kim, that Kelsie is in
00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
We\'d been waiting with Kelsie in labor for
00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
about seven hours, when the doctor
told us that something wasn\'t right.
00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
Times like this, you start to
say, \'What\'s goin\' on, right?\'
00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
I mean, this, the cervix is not changing at
all. We\'d like to know why things aren\'t,
00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
aren\'t moving along. So I\'ll come back.
00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
I think you\'re gonna need a caesarian. I think so. Yeah,
yeah, because they don\'t wanna distress the baby any more,
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
and you have gone through enough.
Okay, I\'m gonna go call your dad,
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
cuz I want him to come here, okay.
Brian, he\'s gonna come to.
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:23.000
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
See your new daughter? Sweet girl?
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
She\'s got my lips, eh?
00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
For sure. For sure.
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
Thank you, mom. Hey! No drugs, eh? There\'s
no drugs here. Do you see any drug
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
dealers here? Besides me, no? Thank you very much.
That\'s the best present I\'ve gotten all year.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
He\'s being kinda like really
crazy, and he\'s been like swearing
00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
at mom. And, she, he\'s just, he
needs to learn how to control his
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
temper. Take in mind it\'s my birthday,
so I\'m like, trying to like,
00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:18.000
00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
I know I\'m gonna have to ask him to
leave, cuz he, \'kay, he\'s 21 years old,
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
he\'s an adult, can\'t be livin\'
like this, comin\' and just
00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
place to crash. Get clean, get some
clean clothes and go. I\'m not a hotel.
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
I don\'t even live, like I live
here, but I\'m never here.
00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
\'Cause I\'m always trying to get some dope. And I
know, Kyler, uh, my other son, he\'s, he\'s quite
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
upset because him and Aaron are very
close, and always have been very close.
00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
He, he doesn\'t like watching his brother,
uh, get destroyed like this. So-
00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
Fuck, it\'s, it\'s just a drug and fuckin\', it fucks you in
the head so hard, you think it\'s not fuckin\' you in the
00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
head, you know. I never think I\'m gonna
get emotional. Because, I mean, he\'s 21,
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
like I said, he\'s an adult, and,
but I guess, as a mother, it\'s
00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
it\'s not so easy to turn off. What,
what do you think, if you do, do
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
tell him to leave and not come
back, what\'s gonna happen to him?
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
Um, I think that he\'ll probably
end up in jail before he, uh,
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
before he straightens out. Really. Yeah.
Um, I just hope that he doesn\'t
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
hurt somebody before he goes to jail. I\'m just at my
wits end, I\'m either gonna kill myself, or fuckin\' just
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
be a dick to like, lots
of people who deserve it.
00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
Fuckin\' rip me off, and fuckin\' said they\'re my
friends, and said they\'re my fuckin\' bro or whatever.
00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.999
And fuck, I mean. It\'s, no
00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
actually, that\'s actually not what I\'m gon-,
what I\'m gonna do, I\'m gonna pawn my stereo,
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
get some drugs, and get high, and then everything will
be all better, because I won\'t be here, and fuckin\'
00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
yeah. Um, j-,
00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
fuckin\' I don\'t know.
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
Somebody had mentioned that they had seen
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
her grad dress. And, my heart broke.
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
I wanted to be with her to do that. And now
00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
I\'m not. Cuz it\'s to-, it,
it\'s too painful to, uh,
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
know that, you know, I have flashbacks of
00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
her childhood. And all
the little things that
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
I did, and that we did together.
00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
Nope. Not moving back, I\'m
moving to Alberta next year.
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
With my dad.
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
So, how\'s it going with Brian?
00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:48.000
Does he have a job, yet? No, he\'s lying
down, he\'s just not feeling good.
00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
How\'re you feeling? I have a migraine?
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
I know. Is it any better? No. Okay.
Thank you. Were you ever worried about
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
that, that she would be affected by
your use of crystal meth? Oh, yeah.
00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
But, she obviously isn\'t. So.
00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
Hey. You gotta do what you
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
gotta do, when you gotta do it. I owe some
people some money and I told \'em I\'d have it.
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
And, this is the best way to insure
that I give them their money.
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
If I brought my stereo in, and you took a
look at it, um, would you be able to possibly
00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
buy it off me for a short period of time?
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
A-, Aaron Webb.
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:53.000
00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
It\'s just six more weeks to graduation,
00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
when LeRae decides to visit her mom.
What\'s wrong? To take your kid\'s diary.
00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
That is wrong. Okay, LeRae,
you know, the police told us-
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
No, I don\'t care what the police did, you
should feel, as a mother, that is wrong.
00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
You don\'t understand that that\'s so wrong.
That\'s all my personal beliefs, and you
00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
went and read them with Chris. I didn\'t
read them with Chris, I read them myself-
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
Yes, you did! You told me! You said to
me!- I read them. I read it, LeRae.
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
Nobody\'s judging you, LeRae.
Nobody\'s judging you, we
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
just wanted to find out if you were
on fucking crystal meth! Okay?
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.999
Why couldn\'t you just ask me or let me get
a drug test. You were lying, you were
00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.999
deceiving, you were stealing,
you were taking off, and
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
you were on drugs, and I still believe it to this day, you were
on drugs. What were the frickin\' pills for. Anybody I talked to
00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
about those pills told me it was
to come off of crystal meth.
00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
It\'s not to come off crystal meth. Then what\'s
it to come of, LeRae? Nothing-Bullshit.
00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
Whatever. I don\'t wanna be told I\'m a bad
mother because I don\'t do the things you want
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
me to do, or be this person that you, have
00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
this fantasy about that I\'m
supposed to be this wonder mother.
00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
Perfect person. I\'m not perfect, LeRae. I made
mistakes. Why do you expect me to be perfect?
00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
I don\'t expect you to be perfect, I just
don\'t want you to go through your life
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
I\'m going home.
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
So whatta you been doin\'
the last month? Drugs.
00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
Aaron, you look gaunt. Yeah, I know, I\'m s-You\'re a lovely young man, and I
look at ya, and you\'re lookin\' gaunt, you\'re looking very sunken in the cheeks,
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
oh yeah, complexion ain\'t that great.
Are you eating? Yeah.
00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
Are ya? Yeah. Yeah? Well it\'s a hell of a
way to diet. Yeah, fuck, I don\'t know, I
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
don\'t even wanna talk about it. Nn-, you don\'t wanna talk
about? Well, listen, more importantly, when can I get you back
00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
because I do miss you, and you and I go way back. I\'m thinkin\' uh, I\'m
thinkin\' like next Monday, or, possibly sooner, yeah. Are ya? Yeah?
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
Well listen, Aaron. Please look after yourself.
Please come back. And stay connected with me.
00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
Even if you phone me once in a while, phone me. Okay. Okay?
I want you to, you know my number. Okay? Yep. Will do.
00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
Good to see you. You too, man. You
know, the most upsetting thing
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
apart from seeing him and talking
to him, is to hear him say,
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
that as much as he knows
it\'s ruining his life, he
00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
loves it. He loves it. He said that
at least twice. He just loves it.
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
And so he\'s entrenched
in that addiction again,
00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
and he\'s lovin\' it. Even
though it\'s killin\' him.
00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:58.000
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
Yeah, we haven\'t seen him much, he just came home, we\'ll
see, he\'ll be really grouchy in the next few days.
00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
He\'s lost tons of weight. Tons of weight.
I mean he\'s, you can\'t, he\'s got
00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
his hat on, so you can\'t see it, but
he\'s got little scabbies, and yeah,
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
so. I think he\'s selling, too,
because he\'s been getting money from
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
someplace. But I think it\'s only a
matter of time before he gets caught.
00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
Had a call from one of my liaison officers,
00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
and, uh, Aaron was arrested,
crystal meth possession, and
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
and apparently, I guess, he was being very, uh,
obstructionist and obstreperous, and as a result, he\'s also
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
been charged with resisting arrest. And
he\'s currently in cells. And that\'s
00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
very disappointing, but again,
I guess, not surprising.
00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
When I went to pick him up, they released him on, they gave him
a conditional release that he be drug free for four months,
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
he has to report to the police officer every
Friday, and a few other-, go to school every day,
00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
and they will drop all the charges against him. It\'s
not fair. I\'m not a criminal. Fuckin\', you made me
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
sit in fuckin\' prison until my mom came and
picked me up, like I\'m so lucky to have my mom,
00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
that she\'d do something like that, eh? Oh.
I don\'t know. Fuckin\' buncha bullshit,
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
I don\'t give a-, even give a shit, he said, \'Clean up your act,
go back to school, I\'ll drop all the charges.\' I\'s like, \'Deal!\'
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
You know, I\'m gonna take the easy way
out, fuck. I don-, I don\'t know any more.
00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
I\'d like to say that he\'s just gonna quit, and
carry on with his life, but I don\'t think
00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
he\'s gonna make that choice. Nobody makes you
do it. You do it on your own. He\'s doin\' it cuz
00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
he wants to. I\'ll binge for a couple
months and s-, then stop, for at least a
00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
month. For every three months I\'ve been using. I think. That\'s
what I\'ve worked it out to. I got it all mathematically
00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
chopped up and everything. Like out of the
past six yea-, six, seven years, I\'ve
00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
probably, been awake for a
good solid five of that.
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
You think that anybody who have been on it for
a while, that will be able to stop forever?
00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
I doubt it. I seriously
00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
do. Hello. How are you doing
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
LeRae? Oh, we\'re fine now. It\'s okay now.
We-, I apologized
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
to her, she apologized to me, we\'re okay.
00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
Yep, she\'s learned the lessons that we thought she had to
learn, so, you know, and there\'ll be lots more to come.
00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:43.000
00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
I think she did try it with the people
that she was hanging around with, but
00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
I\'m glad that she wasn\'t one of
the kids that got on, hooked
00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
on that drug. But, we\'ll see what happens.
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
What has happened since
the last time I saw you?
00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
Um, um well Brian moved out. How,
how did that happen. Did you
00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
decide to, or did he decide to. What
happened? Uh, he just, never came back,
00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
pretty much. Just left one
day and didn\'t come back.
00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
Are you concerned about the fact that
there might be a temptation to use again?
00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
No. No, its out. It\'s gone. It was
one of those things in her life
00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
that, um, lasted for about a year.
It was a very rough
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
year. And, I do believe that
that part of her life is
00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
over. And that, um, her
00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
this very profound drug is finished.
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
Um, who knows what the future holds, but
I, I really, really believe that, um, her
00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
daughter has given her
a new purpose in life.
00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
You know, what\'s the forecast. In a small town
like this, it\'s mighty tough. Every time you walk
00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
down the street, every time you turn the corner, every
time you walk across that park, you\'re gonna see
00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
the same people who use. You\'re gonna
have the same opportunities to get
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
back into the life of drugs.
And all I can do is to
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.999
keep reminding Kelsie of this, and to hope that she has
the inner strength, and she has enough where-with-all,
00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
for the love of her baby, as well
as the well-being of herself,
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
to stay strong, and to stay clean.
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:48.000
00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
Are you gonna make it? Yeah,
I\'m gonna fuckin\' do it.
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:05.000