Perfect Strangers
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- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
PERFECT STRANGERS tells the story of two unique and engaging characters. One is Ellie, who embarks on an unpredictable journey of twists and turns, determined to give away one of her kidneys. Five hundred miles away, Kathy endures nightly dialysis and loses hope of receiving a transplant until Ellie reads her profile on an online website. Both women face unexpected challenges as their parallel stories unfold over the course of four years. The film explores the ineffable magnitude of Ellie’s gift and the burden of responsibility that accompanies it, for both donor and recipient. Intimate scenes with Ellie, Kathy, and their families reveal the complicated physical and emotional terrain of organ donation. PERFECT STRANGERS raises questions about what motivates an individual towards this act of compassion. Why are we unnerved by the idea of such an extreme gift? The film provokes the viewer to confront his/her place on the continuum between selfishness and altruism, inevitably asking, “Could I do this, and if so, for whom?”
Video Librarian | Kathy Fennessy
"Jan Krawitz's informative and suspenseful documentary toggles between two women in different states. Perfect Strangers underscores the need for more organ donors but also highlights the human capacity for beneficent, selfless behavior."
Education Media Reviews Online | Reviewed by Sue F. Phelps, Washington State University, Vancouver, WA
Highly Recommended "Krawitz gives the viewer high quality audio and video with an intimate feel that merges professionalism and familiarity. She presents Ellie as an everyday hero offering the prospect of organ donation as a realistic and openhanded gift. Public libraries, high school libraries and academic libraries that support programs in psychology, health and human services would find this a worthy addition to their collection."
Library Journal | Reviewed by Beth Traylor, Univ. of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Libs
"A worthwhile addition to college and university classes in ethics and health sciences as well as donor drives and for the general public seeking information on the subject."
Stanford University | Valerie Miner, Professor and Artist-in-Residence, The Clayman Institute for Gender Research
“Thank you for sharing your splendid film yesterday at the salon. The film is such an achievement—beautiful and moving and provocative. I also appreciated your thoughtful and informative responses to questions from the audience. I heard lots of great feedback afterward.”
Reed College | Margaret Scharle, Professor of Philosophy
“Jan’s movie fit perfectly into my Introduction to Ethics syllabus. The course introduces students to three dominant normative ethical theories and I used Perfect Strangers as a provocative case study for testing these theories and their application. Several student evaluations noted the movie as a highlight of the course.”
Transplant Games of America | A. H., Living Kidney Donor
“Perfect Strangers is a haunting portrayal of how an altruistic person comes to grips with the true meaning of charity; anonymous, selfless and with the faith that each one of us has the power to change at least one life and by extension the world."
University Film and Video Association | Allan Holzmann, ACE Emmy and Peabody Award Winning Director
“Perfect Strangers is a stunning piece about love in ways that I’ve never imagined. >The documentary plays like a feature film with characters that jump off the screen into your hearts. Krawitz’s storytelling simplicity is inundated some of life’s most challenging issues. Remarkable film, remarkable filmmaker.”
American Association of Kidney Patients | Jerome Bailey, Communications Director
“The American Association of Kidney Patients was so honored to have the movie Perfect Strangers shown at our national patient meeting in Las Vegas. The documentary tells the story of two women on a journey – one a life-affirming journey and the other a life-saving journey. The film touched the hearts and souls of many people in the audience and still today provokes thoughtful conversation.”
Stanford University, School of Medicine | Dr. Diana Farid, Clinical Instructor
“I was deeply moved by the film and happy to see the students engaged.”
Annaleigh Sage Bergman (Facebook post after PBS Screening)
"Everyone, you MUST see the documentary: "Perfect Strangers." It's such a heartwarming, uplifting doc about Eldonna (Ellie), a mother of three, who donated a kidney to a stranger… It's sincerely one of the most moving and informative documentaries I've ever seen."
Transplant Recipients International Organization | Monet Thomson, President, San Francisco Bay Area TRIO
“We had an incredible time at our last meeting. Filmmaker Jan Krawitz joined us and presented Perfect Strangers, her remarkable film about a woman who gave a kidney to… oh, just anyone who needed it. The film was an intimate look into one human life, human heart, and one human kidney – and at the effect of the donation on the lives of others.
Life Gift Dallas | Katy Portell, Program Coordinator
"Perfect Strangers is a beautifully composed film which follows the journey of a selfless living kidney donor in her search for a recipient. It showcases the uncertainty of the wait, the overwhelming joy of unexpectedly receiving “the call,” and moves audiences to understand what donation and transplantation can mean in the lives it touches."
Husson University | Nico Jenkins, Lecturer, Ethics and Philosophy Program
“The documentary asks each of us to consider why, if each of us has the power to help another, literally within each one of us, we do not make that happen.”
KRCC, The Middle Distance | Kathryn Eastburn
"It's a fascinating film journey with amazing footage of an actual organ harvest, tense and touching moments before and after, and through it all, the reassuring voice of Ellie who never loses her focus."
From the Heart Productions | Don Schwartz
"Krawitz tells this story of giving and receiving with standard-bearing production quality – along with an immeasurable amount of heart."
The Independent Critic | Written by Richard Propes
"...intelligently constructed and emotionally resonant documentary that will likely leave you examining both your heart and your head as the closing credits roll. Krawitz does an excellent job of making the complex issues examined more accessible and, in the process, she helps her audience examine the questions she raises while answering them for themselves."
The Clayman Institute for Gender Research | Leila Glass
"Along the way, the people Ellie meets are amazed by her choice; except her son, who says, 'I was not surprised at all.' In that understated moment, we glimpse that Ellie’s kidney donation is just one of many ways she has chosen to be a compassionate and giving person.
Valley News | Nicola Smith
"Everybody involved in the documentary gave Krawitz extraordinary access, partially because she lets the story tell itself[...]The result is a film that reflects on how people connect in the most extraordinary ways, in extraordinary situations."
Citation
Main credits
Krawitz, Jan (film director)
Krawitz, Jan (film producer)
Krawitz, Jan (editor of moving image work)
Other credits
Cinematography, Charlene Music, Mike Seeley.
Distributor subjects
Public Health Policy; Medicine; Mindfulness Studies; Philosophy; EthicsKeywords
01:00:00.506 --> 01:00:28.336
♪
01:00:28.836 --> 01:00:31.046
>>Ellie: I was fairly
resolute from the beginning
01:00:31.046 --> 01:00:34.586
and throughout the
whole process.
01:00:34.586 --> 01:00:37.636
The only time I doubted myself
was when someone doubted me.
01:00:37.636 --> 01:00:42.176
If somebody raised a question
of whether it was ethical,
01:00:42.176 --> 01:00:44.426
whether my health
would be compromised,
01:00:44.426 --> 01:00:48.516
whether I really knew what I
was doing and getting into...
01:00:48.516 --> 01:00:50.056
then I would pull
back a little bit.
01:00:50.296 --> 01:00:53.226
But it wouldn't be long before
I would come back to center
01:00:53.226 --> 01:00:55.116
and feel really strongly
01:00:55.196 --> 01:00:57.786
that I was doing
what I wanted to do --
01:00:59.046 --> 01:01:09.076
at the time I wanted to do it.
01:01:09.216 --> 01:01:11.256
People are often surprised when
I tell them what I'm doing.
01:01:11.256 --> 01:01:14.016
I'm surprised that
they're surprised.
01:01:15.446 --> 01:01:16.966
The first question
they ask me is,
01:01:17.186 --> 01:01:19.216
'Is it a family member
or is it a friend?'
01:01:20.196 --> 01:01:23.196
They don't understand why you
would give one of your organs --
01:01:23.196 --> 01:01:29.486
while you're alive --
to a relative stranger.
01:01:30.046 --> 01:01:30.546
Are you ready?
01:01:31.886 --> 01:01:36.266
Okay. Take off my shoes?
01:01:36.266 --> 01:01:38.876
Take off your shoes.
01:01:40.206 --> 01:01:41.696
And if you want to
go around that side,
01:01:41.696 --> 01:01:42.856
I'm going to hold
the sheet up here.
01:01:42.856 --> 01:01:47.306
Yeah, you're really
tight back there today.
01:01:47.306 --> 01:01:49.976
That spot bothering you, Eloise?
01:01:50.526 --> 01:02:15.276
Just a little higher it is.
01:02:15.486 --> 01:02:15.896
Hey, Rich.
01:02:15.896 --> 01:02:16.966
Hey, Eldonna.
01:02:17.186 --> 01:02:18.526
Howdy, how ya doing?
01:02:18.596 --> 01:02:19.136
Hey, Charlie.
01:02:19.206 --> 01:02:21.666
When we drove up, he saw
you and he was crying.
01:02:22.276 --> 01:02:23.026
He knows me.
01:02:23.026 --> 01:02:25.496
You said last time he
got like a block away
01:02:25.696 --> 01:02:27.666
and he starts crying....
01:02:28.306 --> 01:02:30.496
Come on back.
01:02:30.816 --> 01:02:32.676
If you want to know
where I need massage?
01:02:32.846 --> 01:02:33.486
Everywhere.
01:02:33.726 --> 01:02:34.166
Okay.
01:02:34.786 --> 01:02:38.586
>>Ellie: A couple years ago,
I started taking some classes
01:02:38.586 --> 01:02:40.036
at Cuesta Community College.
01:02:41.156 --> 01:02:43.806
And I met a student
there with kidney disease.
01:02:44.246 --> 01:02:46.926
And after having interesting
conversations with her
01:02:46.926 --> 01:02:49.526
and finding out about the
need for kidney donors,
01:02:50.366 --> 01:02:52.256
I decided to use
that for the topic
01:02:52.256 --> 01:02:56.126
for my research paper
in my English class.
01:02:56.126 --> 01:02:56.946
I went online...
01:02:56.946 --> 01:02:59.996
and I found out about matching
donors dot com and poked
01:02:59.996 --> 01:03:03.016
around the site a little bit.
01:03:03.016 --> 01:03:05.036
>>Ellie: I kept looking at
those profiles and thinking,
01:03:05.376 --> 01:03:16.016
"If not me, then who?"
01:03:16.376 --> 01:03:20.486
Matching donors is a website
that brings together people
01:03:20.486 --> 01:03:22.006
who need an organ with people
01:03:22.006 --> 01:03:24.106
who are interested
in donating one.
01:03:25.736 --> 01:03:26.906
How do you choose?
01:03:27.416 --> 01:03:29.266
When you say yes to
somebody, you're saying no
01:03:29.266 --> 01:03:30.426
to a whole bunch
of other people.
01:03:31.346 --> 01:03:36.496
But one in particular jumped
out at me and that was Kathy's.
01:03:36.496 --> 01:03:39.986
I was just drawn to her
story...her profession
01:03:40.026 --> 01:03:50.276
as a hospice nurse...and
decided to contact her.
01:03:50.276 --> 01:03:50.346
♪
01:03:50.346 --> 01:03:58.566
Let's go garden.
01:03:58.566 --> 01:03:58.856
Come on, Sammy.
01:03:58.856 --> 01:04:04.866
You coming?
01:04:04.866 --> 01:04:05.976
Hurry up.
01:04:06.066 --> 01:04:07.376
>>Kathy: One of
the first people
01:04:07.376 --> 01:04:10.506
that I made contact
with was Ellie.
01:04:10.506 --> 01:04:13.186
Just an incredible person
and the epitome of a person
01:04:13.186 --> 01:04:15.126
that you would want to
be taking a kidney from
01:04:15.126 --> 01:04:17.346
or receiving a kidney from.
01:04:18.186 --> 01:04:20.876
But it is hard to imagine that
somebody would be willing to do
01:04:20.876 --> 01:04:25.276
that -- especially for
somebody that they don't know.
01:04:25.276 --> 01:04:28.206
I can understand taking a kidney
from somebody that has passed.
01:04:28.206 --> 01:04:29.856
They don't need it anymore.
01:04:29.856 --> 01:04:33.976
But to willingly say,
'I'll let you put yourself
01:04:34.046 --> 01:04:48.316
at risk for me.'
01:04:48.316 --> 01:04:49.536
That's hard.
01:04:50.076 --> 01:04:52.416
>>Jim: When we were looking
for transplant possibilities,
01:04:52.826 --> 01:04:53.976
I went in to get tested.
01:04:54.856 --> 01:04:57.406
It's easy for me to
volunteer to donate
01:04:57.406 --> 01:05:00.746
because this is my wife
and there's a bond there.
01:05:01.606 --> 01:05:04.986
I found out that I had enough
issues with my own kidneys
01:05:05.016 --> 01:05:07.916
that I was no longer a
candidate for donating
01:05:07.916 --> 01:05:09.316
to her or anybody else.
01:05:10.346 --> 01:05:12.496
On the one hand,
there was some relief
01:05:12.706 --> 01:05:14.956
that I was no longer
a possible donor.
01:05:15.486 --> 01:05:18.146
There's some relief to
not being operated on.
01:05:18.976 --> 01:05:20.726
And then of course
there's some disappointment
01:05:20.726 --> 01:05:22.366
because we were
back to square one
01:05:22.366 --> 01:05:23.726
as far as locating a kidney.
01:05:25.116 --> 01:05:27.206
What confuses me is how someone
01:05:27.206 --> 01:05:30.456
with no connection would
be motivated to donate.
01:05:31.286 --> 01:05:33.536
How do you deal with...
01:05:33.536 --> 01:05:39.736
a donation like that and what
it means for the recipient?
01:05:39.736 --> 01:05:44.736
Okay, in the neighborhoods,
it's twenty-five...
01:05:44.896 --> 01:05:47.396
I'm going twenty-five.
01:05:47.526 --> 01:05:49.176
This is what I mean
Jacob...slowing
01:05:49.176 --> 01:05:51.276
down farther ahead
of the stop sign.
01:05:51.496 --> 01:05:54.126
You haven't done a lot
of left turns in traffic
01:05:54.316 --> 01:05:56.486
so let's do the left
instead of right up here.
01:05:57.896 --> 01:06:00.676
The relationship between me
and my mom is a lot different
01:06:00.836 --> 01:06:02.566
than most kids and
their parents.
01:06:03.246 --> 01:06:04.566
We've been through
a lot together.
01:06:04.566 --> 01:06:04.633
♪
01:06:04.633 --> 01:06:07.876
>>Jacob: A lot of the time
it was just me and her.
01:06:07.876 --> 01:06:11.656
When I was eight,
my mom and I moved
01:06:11.656 --> 01:06:12.976
out to California together.
01:06:12.976 --> 01:06:17.376
My sisters were both old
enough to be out of the house.
01:06:17.376 --> 01:06:19.666
They stayed in Michigan
along with the rest
01:06:19.756 --> 01:06:23.406
of my extended family.
01:06:23.586 --> 01:06:26.596
>>Ellie: Can we show
them your closet door?
01:06:26.596 --> 01:06:28.746
Yeah. This is my closet door.
01:06:28.746 --> 01:06:34.516
And these are all
these different cards
01:06:34.636 --> 01:06:36.496
that we made one day.
01:06:36.496 --> 01:06:40.146
There's some for me and
there's some for Mom.
01:06:40.406 --> 01:06:45.586
Hi.... And these are all my
cards that you made for me
01:06:45.586 --> 01:06:48.776
because I'm intuitive,
sweet, loving.
01:06:48.776 --> 01:06:56.216
I'm also antsy...only
when I have my coffee.
01:06:56.216 --> 01:07:01.876
Playful, loving, beautiful
again, sensual, funky,
01:07:01.876 --> 01:07:04.616
spontaneous, wacky, caring.
01:07:04.616 --> 01:07:06.766
That's my favorite one.
01:07:06.766 --> 01:07:07.386
>>Jacob: She's the kind
01:07:07.386 --> 01:07:13.566
of person...she sees you
parked somewhere, you're looking
01:07:13.566 --> 01:07:15.056
for meter change
and she has some
01:07:15.056 --> 01:07:17.376
in her purse...it's not
even something she has
01:07:17.376 --> 01:07:18.026
to think about.
01:07:18.796 --> 01:07:21.186
I mean when she told me she
was going to give a kidney
01:07:21.186 --> 01:07:22.676
to someone she didn't
even know, I mean...
01:07:22.826 --> 01:07:29.436
it did not surprise me at all.
01:07:29.576 --> 01:07:31.286
>>Ellie: Once I
had the information
01:07:31.286 --> 01:07:32.616
about the surgery itself,
01:07:32.616 --> 01:07:36.016
I did take into
consideration my family -
01:07:36.016 --> 01:07:38.266
especially my oldest
daughter, Andrea,
01:07:38.266 --> 01:07:42.676
who is also a B
positive blood type.
01:07:42.676 --> 01:07:45.406
If she ever needed a kidney,
I would want to be able
01:07:45.406 --> 01:07:46.426
to provide her with that.
01:07:46.426 --> 01:07:51.036
And her answer to me was, 'Mom,
I know if you provide a kidney
01:07:51.036 --> 01:07:55.186
to someone, there'll be one for
me if I ever should need one.'
01:07:55.576 --> 01:07:59.296
My son -- I didn't give
him too much information
01:07:59.416 --> 01:08:00.696
because I didn't
want to scare him.
01:08:01.536 --> 01:08:03.966
If you don't have
all the information,
01:08:03.966 --> 01:08:07.446
it seems like a scary
thing but it's not
01:08:08.396 --> 01:08:19.636
as big as what people think.
01:08:21.156 --> 01:08:22.606
>>Kathy: My family
has a history
01:08:22.606 --> 01:08:24.566
of polycystic kidney disease.
01:08:25.996 --> 01:08:28.596
Two years ago, it was
evident I was going
01:08:28.596 --> 01:08:30.016
to need to go on dialysis.
01:08:32.896 --> 01:08:35.676
You do dialysis because
your kidneys have failed
01:08:35.846 --> 01:08:37.216
to filter your blood.
01:08:38.276 --> 01:08:41.746
You've got to have an
alternative way of doing that.
01:08:42.426 --> 01:08:43.976
One of the nurses told me
01:08:43.976 --> 01:08:46.916
about the next stage
home dialysis system.
01:08:47.996 --> 01:08:49.726
And my husband was
a willing partner
01:08:49.726 --> 01:08:51.466
so we went and got
the training.
01:08:53.046 --> 01:08:55.506
>>Jim: I'm the guy that
ran the projector so dealing
01:08:55.506 --> 01:08:57.356
with a machine like,
that once I'm trained
01:08:57.356 --> 01:08:58.716
on it, is no big deal.
01:08:59.696 --> 01:09:01.196
It's just a matter
of doing it...day
01:09:01.196 --> 01:09:03.806
after day, week after week.
01:09:03.806 --> 01:09:07.446
You don't get a choice.
01:09:12.026 --> 01:09:13.896
>>Kathy: Takes an hour
to set the program up,
01:09:14.156 --> 01:09:18.296
about three hours in the chair,
an hour to cool down afterwards,
01:09:18.716 --> 01:09:21.806
holding my needle sites
so that they don't bleed.
01:09:26.156 --> 01:09:30.846
>>Jim: About every
half an hour,
01:09:30.846 --> 01:09:33.326
you take the blood
pressure and the heart rate.
01:09:33.516 --> 01:09:36.026
So you're always kind
of operating with one eye
01:09:36.026 --> 01:09:39.516
on the clock and listening
for what the machine is doing.
01:09:40.156 --> 01:09:41.656
When it beeps, then
you've got to be
01:09:41.656 --> 01:09:43.376
within earshot and
react to that.
01:09:47.306 --> 01:09:50.716
We're running three
bags tonight.
01:09:51.636 --> 01:09:53.276
>>Jim: We dialyze
five nights a week.
01:09:54.446 --> 01:09:55.996
We have two nights a week off.
01:10:00.506 --> 01:10:12.646
Well, that's when
we do the dishes.
01:10:13.146 --> 01:10:16.896
♪
01:10:17.396 --> 01:10:18.606
>>Kathy: I've had
a lot of friends
01:10:18.786 --> 01:10:20.086
that have tried
to donate to me.
01:10:21.216 --> 01:10:22.916
I've gone through
it enough times now
01:10:22.916 --> 01:10:24.076
to know the likelihood is
01:10:24.076 --> 01:10:25.556
that they're not
going to be a match.
01:10:26.726 --> 01:10:36.386
It'll happen when it happens.
01:10:40.686 --> 01:10:42.266
When I first started, I'd been
01:10:42.266 --> 01:10:44.616
on a transplant
list for three years.
01:10:45.006 --> 01:10:47.586
But now it's five to seven
years for my blood type.
01:10:49.466 --> 01:10:53.096
It really does bring you up
short in terms of time ahead...
01:10:53.646 --> 01:10:54.376
the future.
01:10:57.966 --> 01:11:07.006
I just don't make
a lot of plans.
01:11:07.546 --> 01:11:27.776
♪
01:11:28.276 --> 01:11:30.666
I was very excited.
01:11:30.666 --> 01:11:34.676
I had convinced myself that
because we had B positive blood
01:11:34.676 --> 01:11:36.736
that we were going to
'be positive' about this
01:11:36.736 --> 01:11:38.496
and we were going to be a match.
01:11:39.846 --> 01:11:42.216
>>Ellie: I rode to the
nearest lab to go ahead
01:11:42.216 --> 01:11:43.196
and have my blood drawn.
01:11:43.196 --> 01:11:46.686
I kept looking at the little
Band-aid on my arm thinking,
01:11:46.866 --> 01:11:48.806
'This is going to be great,
this is a good thing.'
01:11:50.486 --> 01:11:52.376
I was anxious to
find out the results.
01:11:52.736 --> 01:11:55.446
But not in the same way that
somebody who has been waiting
01:11:55.446 --> 01:11:57.486
and waiting and had
so many failed attempts
01:11:57.486 --> 01:11:58.906
at trying to find a donor.
01:11:59.556 --> 01:12:01.146
For me, I'm going
on with my life.
01:12:01.146 --> 01:12:03.836
I'm not at home getting
dialysis four times a week.
01:12:06.866 --> 01:12:07.666
Hey, girl.
01:12:07.666 --> 01:12:12.016
Do you want to go to the park?
01:12:12.626 --> 01:12:14.186
Come on, load up.
01:12:14.186 --> 01:12:15.566
Load up. Good girl.
01:12:15.566 --> 01:12:19.316
That was close.
01:12:20.646 --> 01:12:23.166
Good job. Stay, stay.
01:12:23.646 --> 01:12:24.396
Jake, you drive.
01:12:25.696 --> 01:12:27.886
>>Ellie: Mostly it was
a long waiting period
01:12:28.266 --> 01:12:29.606
until we finally heard.
01:12:30.546 --> 01:12:34.986
We found out that her blood
created antigens to my blood--
01:12:35.616 --> 01:12:38.516
which means that she
would reject my kidney.
01:12:38.776 --> 01:12:41.506
Now we had hit a
pretty big obstacle.
01:12:42.046 --> 01:12:45.646
♪
01:12:46.146 --> 01:12:50.376
>>Jim: Right now you're
stuck in a holding pattern.
01:12:50.706 --> 01:12:53.396
You really can't plan
for whatever happens
01:12:53.446 --> 01:12:54.846
to Kathy and her kidneys.
01:12:54.966 --> 01:12:58.766
It can be kind of
overwhelming some times.
01:12:59.166 --> 01:13:00.506
A little disquieting.
01:13:00.506 --> 01:13:05.596
See, I've done all
the high stuff.
01:13:05.596 --> 01:13:08.966
Oh, okay. You want to
do that before...well,
01:13:08.966 --> 01:13:11.106
you've got to get the electrical
before we finish that.
01:13:11.106 --> 01:13:13.146
Get the electrical first
and then we can start
01:13:13.146 --> 01:13:14.876
with the sheetrock and things.
01:13:14.956 --> 01:13:19.106
Okay. So is that what you want
next...is the floor in there?
01:13:19.306 --> 01:13:20.306
I would think so.
01:13:20.396 --> 01:13:22.846
>>Jim: Long about
twelve years ago,
01:13:22.846 --> 01:13:24.546
we started a house project.
01:13:24.546 --> 01:13:27.796
Living in a double-wide
is not something you want
01:13:27.796 --> 01:13:29.466
to do forever.
01:13:29.466 --> 01:13:30.836
It's a long ways from finished.
01:13:30.836 --> 01:13:31.926
But it's up and closed
01:13:31.926 --> 01:13:35.626
which means it can kind
of sit a little bit.
01:13:35.626 --> 01:13:37.246
As Kathy's dialysis started,
01:13:37.246 --> 01:13:39.436
that's kind of what the
house has done -- is sat.
01:13:39.436 --> 01:13:43.386
>>Jim: You know we've
got a place
01:13:43.386 --> 01:13:44.416
for a ceiling fan up there.
01:13:44.416 --> 01:13:45.916
Put that on.
01:13:45.916 --> 01:13:46.596
>>Kathy: What, Sammy?
01:13:46.596 --> 01:13:50.126
>>Jim: What are you
griping about, Sammy?
01:13:50.126 --> 01:13:52.106
>>Kathy: I work, I
come home, we dialyze.
01:13:52.156 --> 01:13:52.896
We go to bed.
01:13:52.896 --> 01:13:55.926
I get up and I do that
again the next day.
01:13:56.066 --> 01:13:58.966
So there's just not a lot
of time for working on it.
01:14:01.016 --> 01:14:02.486
>>Jim: Once a transplant
happens,
01:14:03.286 --> 01:14:05.256
we'll gain back five
nights a week
01:14:05.686 --> 01:14:07.256
with which we can
do other things.
01:14:07.866 --> 01:14:21.306
And some freedom to tackle other
projects, including the house.
01:14:22.356 --> 01:14:23.626
>>Jim: Ellie came
up for a visit.
01:14:23.626 --> 01:14:27.616
She just kind of fit
right into our lifestyle.
01:14:30.906 --> 01:14:34.046
>>Ellie: I'd never actually
witnessed dialysis before.
01:14:34.046 --> 01:14:38.876
I felt very honored that they
would allow me to be in the room
01:14:38.876 --> 01:14:40.456
for such an intimate procedure.
01:14:40.456 --> 01:14:48.146
It's painful...an
arduous process.
01:14:48.146 --> 01:14:51.036
And then just the idleness.
01:14:51.036 --> 01:14:53.656
I can't imagine having
to sit still like that,
01:14:53.866 --> 01:14:56.066
for that many hours every week.
01:14:56.236 --> 01:15:00.006
It's kind of been
burned into my memory.
01:15:00.546 --> 01:15:33.776
♪
01:15:34.276 --> 01:15:37.246
>>Ellie: At that point,
I had to make a decision
01:15:37.246 --> 01:15:39.816
about whether I was going to
go back on matching donors
01:15:39.886 --> 01:15:42.496
and start browsing
the profiles again.
01:15:43.106 --> 01:15:45.946
But I learned about a different
program called a paired
01:15:45.946 --> 01:15:47.196
exchange program.
01:15:47.636 --> 01:15:52.566
I would continue to stay on the
list for Kathy and we would wait
01:15:52.566 --> 01:15:55.656
for another couple - a
couple being another donor
01:15:55.726 --> 01:15:58.486
and a recipient in the same
situation that we're in.
01:15:59.216 --> 01:16:02.186
We would all go in
together and swap donors.
01:16:02.546 --> 01:16:03.956
And the four of us
would be rolled off
01:16:04.046 --> 01:16:12.936
to surgery at the same time.
01:16:13.816 --> 01:16:20.076
♪
01:16:20.576 --> 01:16:23.636
>>Ellie: It's hard to
believe it's been three years
01:16:23.636 --> 01:16:25.856
since the seed was planted.
01:16:25.856 --> 01:16:27.756
A week from today,
I will be in surgery
01:16:28.106 --> 01:16:30.656
and my kidney will
start its next journey.
01:16:30.656 --> 01:16:33.016
I'm not getting any younger.
01:16:33.416 --> 01:16:36.366
And I wanted to donate
while I was still healthy
01:16:36.366 --> 01:16:38.156
and able to recover quickly.
01:16:38.406 --> 01:16:41.106
If Ellie is able to
donate to somebody,
01:16:41.106 --> 01:16:44.346
I think I'd feel relieved
01:16:44.346 --> 01:16:46.986
because I know it's
something she wants to do.
01:16:47.206 --> 01:16:48.916
We hung in there for
a long time together,
01:16:48.916 --> 01:16:51.816
hoping that we would
find a solution to that.
01:16:51.906 --> 01:16:52.546
But we didn't.
01:16:52.996 --> 01:16:54.246
So we've moved forward.
01:16:57.096 --> 01:16:59.236
I missed you.
01:16:59.676 --> 01:17:01.166
Come on in.
01:17:01.166 --> 01:17:06.336
I know. We all missed you.
01:17:06.526 --> 01:17:08.446
You're never around anymore.
01:17:08.796 --> 01:17:10.776
How much do I miss
the outdoor shower?
01:17:11.336 --> 01:17:13.346
I wish it was warm
enough to take one.
01:17:13.466 --> 01:17:14.136
How are you feeling?
01:17:14.136 --> 01:17:15.006
Are you anxious...
01:17:15.136 --> 01:17:17.466
nervous? You know, I keep
thinking I should be.
01:17:17.666 --> 01:17:18.816
But I'm not really.
01:17:18.816 --> 01:17:19.646
And maybe it will hit me.
01:17:19.706 --> 01:17:21.666
Because they said you can
change your mind right
01:17:21.666 --> 01:17:23.336
up to the time before
they put you out.
01:17:23.686 --> 01:17:25.786
And they're like, no guilt.
01:17:25.866 --> 01:17:26.946
Where's the incision?
01:17:27.416 --> 01:17:28.476
There's three.
01:17:28.846 --> 01:17:31.676
There's one right about here.
01:17:31.676 --> 01:17:33.726
There's one that goes
in...and it's the camera.
01:17:34.026 --> 01:17:36.476
So they have a screen so they
can watch what's going on.
01:17:36.476 --> 01:17:36.796
Oh my gosh.
01:17:36.796 --> 01:17:38.176
So do you know anything
01:17:38.176 --> 01:17:40.216
about the person
you're donating it to?
01:17:40.216 --> 01:17:41.066
I know it's a male.
01:17:41.066 --> 01:17:42.756
I know he's about my age.
01:17:43.316 --> 01:17:43.726
That's it.
01:17:44.006 --> 01:17:45.936
So tell me again...
01:17:46.276 --> 01:17:47.246
why are you doing this?
01:17:47.246 --> 01:17:54.026
Besides that it gives you
big gold karma points.
01:17:54.206 --> 01:17:55.686
I'm kidding.
01:17:55.686 --> 01:17:56.396
But really...
01:17:56.396 --> 01:17:59.756
The more I got involved,
the more committed I became.
01:18:00.066 --> 01:18:00.946
Because I met people.
01:18:01.136 --> 01:18:04.296
I saw what dialysis was
like, you know, three,
01:18:04.296 --> 01:18:07.006
four times a week --
for hours at a time.
01:18:07.006 --> 01:18:08.456
I mean it's awful.
01:18:09.546 --> 01:18:10.316
It's awful.
01:18:10.686 --> 01:18:12.586
Do you ever worry, what
01:18:12.586 --> 01:18:15.036
if my one kidney
that's left gets hurt?
01:18:15.196 --> 01:18:19.286
If I ever have problems, I
think that the karma points
01:18:19.286 --> 01:18:22.766
that you said build up...there's
probably one with my name on it.
01:18:22.766 --> 01:18:25.546
And also, just trust that
it's not going to happen.
01:18:26.336 --> 01:18:28.776
You know, so...I don't know.
01:18:28.776 --> 01:18:31.136
Well... you're braver than I am.
01:18:31.676 --> 01:18:37.146
♪
01:18:37.646 --> 01:18:41.276
>>Jacob: Now that it's
about a week before surgery,
01:18:41.446 --> 01:18:42.466
I'm not going to lie.
01:18:42.466 --> 01:18:43.686
I'm getting pretty nervous.
01:18:44.316 --> 01:18:45.826
It's kinda crazy.
01:18:46.876 --> 01:18:50.656
Like say if something goes
wrong with her remaining kidney.
01:18:50.946 --> 01:18:53.016
You know, like now she's...
01:18:53.226 --> 01:18:54.326
she's out of spares.
01:18:55.686 --> 01:18:57.426
>>Jacob: I did try to talk
her out of it one time.
01:18:58.886 --> 01:19:00.006
What I realized at the end
01:19:00.006 --> 01:19:02.926
of the day was...it's
not really my call.
01:19:13.576 --> 01:19:15.576
>>Ellie: One of the most
difficult things has been
01:19:15.626 --> 01:19:20.006
letting go of knowing exactly
where my kidney was going.
01:19:21.016 --> 01:19:23.636
I have become very
close with Kathy.
01:19:23.636 --> 01:19:25.876
They actually came down and
we spent some time together.
01:19:25.876 --> 01:19:29.366
And I got this feeling
when they hugged me goodbye
01:19:30.026 --> 01:19:31.156
that they knew that this was...
01:19:31.456 --> 01:19:33.116
this is the way that things
were going to turn out.
01:19:33.116 --> 01:19:34.056
I think we both...
01:19:34.126 --> 01:19:42.156
we all knew by then that....
01:19:45.216 --> 01:19:46.436
Cookie cutters!
01:19:46.436 --> 01:19:49.766
Okay. Is that it?
01:19:51.296 --> 01:19:55.066
This...that's a saw.
01:19:55.306 --> 01:19:57.566
Oh yeah. Look.
01:19:59.046 --> 01:20:00.926
What is that?
01:20:01.146 --> 01:20:01.896
That's a ghost.
01:20:02.156 --> 01:20:04.316
Okay. You've got enough.
01:20:04.596 --> 01:20:06.956
Let's go wash them.
01:20:07.036 --> 01:20:08.346
Let's go wash them.
01:20:08.346 --> 01:20:10.616
Can you bring them over
here and let's wash them.
01:20:11.006 --> 01:20:14.756
>>Kathy: Recently
Ellie asked how I felt
01:20:14.756 --> 01:20:17.306
about her moving on
with her donation.
01:20:18.976 --> 01:20:21.816
How do you describe
those feelings?
01:20:22.656 --> 01:20:27.146
And I decided it was
kind of like fishing.
01:20:27.526 --> 01:20:30.206
That you go out and you
hope you catch a fish,
01:20:30.746 --> 01:20:33.106
but you're not devastated
if you don't catch one.
01:20:33.366 --> 01:20:35.916
And you've had a good day,
you've been outside and you got
01:20:35.916 --> 01:20:40.836
to enjoy the river,
and the environment.
01:20:41.476 --> 01:20:45.046
And I think that it's that
way with waiting for a kidney.
01:20:46.876 --> 01:20:51.016
You know, you hope you
get one, but it's okay
01:20:51.016 --> 01:20:53.116
if you don't, you'll go on.
01:20:53.146 --> 01:20:55.236
Do you want Grandma to
help you with your nose?
01:20:55.526 --> 01:21:00.516
I can use it with my shirt.
01:21:00.516 --> 01:21:01.276
You can? Okay.
01:21:01.356 --> 01:21:08.046
Should we help your momma
make the cookie dough?
01:21:08.356 --> 01:21:11.486
Where did your book go
and I'll read it to you?
01:21:12.076 --> 01:21:13.666
'I found a dog in the desert.
01:21:13.786 --> 01:21:15.166
I called him Nubs.
01:21:16.026 --> 01:21:17.276
We clicked right away.
01:21:17.276 --> 01:21:19.726
He flips on his back and
makes me rub his stomach.'
01:21:20.246 --> 01:21:24.586
I think I was nineteen when it
was confirmed that I had PKD.
01:21:24.586 --> 01:21:28.236
I'd always assumed that I
would have it since it seems
01:21:28.236 --> 01:21:31.976
to be passed down
consistently within our family.
01:21:32.016 --> 01:21:33.296
:
01:21:33.296 --> 01:21:35.506
>>Kathy: Going back through
the generations, you can kind
01:21:35.506 --> 01:21:38.226
of see...the person that
died young was the person
01:21:38.226 --> 01:21:42.886
that had polycystic
kidney disease.
01:21:43.416 --> 01:21:44.656
It's a genetic disease.
01:21:44.716 --> 01:21:49.586
We all tested positive--
three brothers and myself.
01:21:49.586 --> 01:21:55.486
My older brother died after
two years on his transplant.
01:21:56.196 --> 01:21:58.096
He died of cancer.
01:21:58.466 --> 01:22:02.276
Even though he got a good
kidney donated to him,
01:22:02.276 --> 01:22:03.576
he still had a short life.
01:22:04.206 --> 01:22:08.486
One of the things that happens
with a kidney transplant is
01:22:08.486 --> 01:22:11.486
that you then have to take a
lot of anti-rejection drugs
01:22:12.436 --> 01:22:14.656
which interfere with
your body's ability
01:22:14.656 --> 01:22:17.566
to fight off other
things...infections and cancers.
01:22:18.656 --> 01:22:23.656
And so, that becomes a
tradeoff, pure and simple.
01:22:24.316 --> 01:22:26.476
You know, without a
kidney, you're toast.
01:22:27.236 --> 01:22:29.106
With a kidney, you
might be toast.
01:22:29.396 --> 01:22:32.206
I've got shoes.
01:22:33.136 --> 01:22:34.516
There we go.
01:22:34.516 --> 01:22:36.876
I want to be upside down.
01:22:37.416 --> 01:22:38.396
Yeah, I know.
01:22:39.196 --> 01:22:40.616
I'll turn you upside down.
01:22:40.616 --> 01:22:42.026
I want to be a spinner.
01:22:42.196 --> 01:22:49.456
A what? My goal is to preserve
my health so that I can be
01:22:49.456 --> 01:22:52.146
with my family as
much as possible.
01:22:52.146 --> 01:22:52.606
>>Kathy: So...
01:22:52.606 --> 01:22:54.656
I'd kind of like to
go six more years...
01:22:54.656 --> 01:22:56.036
just to give Rowan
time to remember...
01:22:56.576 --> 01:23:02.076
♪
01:23:02.576 --> 01:23:04.566
>>Rowan: It's a book.
01:23:04.936 --> 01:23:23.436
It's about dogs.
01:23:23.506 --> 01:23:27.736
>>Ellie: As the journey
has taken its twists
01:23:27.736 --> 01:23:32.226
and turnsand I've gotten older
and had more experiences waiting
01:23:32.226 --> 01:23:35.616
for this to turn out, I
realize that when you give,
01:23:35.616 --> 01:23:37.166
you need to give
with a warm hand.
01:23:37.746 --> 01:23:39.346
And by putting conditions,
'Well,
01:23:39.346 --> 01:23:41.146
I'm going to give a
kidney only if it's going
01:23:41.146 --> 01:23:42.336
to be for this person...'
01:23:42.336 --> 01:23:46.306
it kind of counteracts
the whole intention.
01:23:46.886 --> 01:23:50.406
So when the transplant
coordinator contacted me
01:23:50.406 --> 01:23:54.156
and said, 'Well, what if we
put you into a non-directed,
01:23:54.716 --> 01:23:58.386
a truly altruistic program
where you don't know who's going
01:23:58.386 --> 01:23:59.156
to get your kidney'...
01:23:59.606 --> 01:24:02.226
You know, it actually
is perfect.
01:24:02.496 --> 01:24:03.176
It's perfect.
01:24:03.976 --> 01:24:04.976
How are you?
01:24:05.356 --> 01:24:07.426
Good, good.
01:24:07.426 --> 01:24:14.266
Can you do blue with
a pink flower?
01:24:14.266 --> 01:24:20.876
I'm having surgery next week so
I want my toes to look pretty.
01:24:20.936 --> 01:24:23.896
Oh, it feels so good.
01:24:24.046 --> 01:24:27.756
Ah, this is my favorite part.
01:24:28.156 --> 01:24:28.746
>>Ellie: I'm not allowed
01:24:28.746 --> 01:24:31.336
to contact the person
that's receiving my kidney
01:24:31.876 --> 01:24:34.106
until after the
surgery has taken place.
01:24:34.736 --> 01:24:37.946
And then, only via
the transplant center,
01:24:37.946 --> 01:24:38.796
not direct contact.
01:24:39.926 --> 01:24:42.046
Do you think I should
do blue with the pink?
01:24:42.386 --> 01:24:43.486
Yes. Or pink with the blue?
01:24:44.066 --> 01:24:44.776
Blue with the pink.
01:24:45.036 --> 01:24:46.646
Do you want a flower?
01:24:46.646 --> 01:24:48.736
>>Ellie: And my plan is
01:24:48.826 --> 01:24:51.066
to write a letter
and wish them well.
01:24:51.676 --> 01:24:53.646
But I really can't
be attached to whether
01:24:53.646 --> 01:24:54.916
or not they contact me.
01:24:55.366 --> 01:24:58.606
Do you want me to
design a heart?
01:24:59.326 --> 01:25:01.656
Heart is what I was
thinking this morning.
01:25:01.656 --> 01:25:02.336
You read my mind.
01:25:02.336 --> 01:25:03.886
>>Ellie: It would be nice
01:25:03.946 --> 01:25:10.236
to hear whether the kidney did
what I hope it's going to do.
01:25:10.306 --> 01:25:12.976
But sometimes they're rejected.
01:25:14.906 --> 01:25:16.356
>>Kathy: I've been
on a transplant list
01:25:16.486 --> 01:25:20.856
for seven years
now...dialysis for four years.
01:25:22.586 --> 01:25:25.456
The average time
that people are able
01:25:25.456 --> 01:25:27.296
to be on dialysis varies.
01:25:27.296 --> 01:25:31.196
You start having
changes to your heart.
01:25:31.696 --> 01:25:36.756
Over time the disease advances.
01:25:36.756 --> 01:25:39.886
There's a real slow decline
01:25:39.886 --> 01:25:43.136
to Kathy's function
-- even on dialysis.
01:25:44.086 --> 01:25:45.736
>>Jim: So, long term,
01:25:45.736 --> 01:25:48.426
the picture out there is
something that's a little hard
01:25:48.426 --> 01:25:48.916
to deal with.
01:25:56.856 --> 01:25:57.686
>> Morgan: My parents were able
01:25:57.686 --> 01:26:00.326
to bring their portable
dialysis machine down here.
01:26:00.576 --> 01:26:01.566
It allows them to travel.
01:26:01.566 --> 01:26:04.046
They live about six
and a half hours away.
01:26:04.486 --> 01:26:06.366
If they weren't able
to bring the machine,
01:26:06.556 --> 01:26:10.026
either we would have to drive
up there or it would have
01:26:10.026 --> 01:26:11.926
to be a very short visit.
01:26:11.926 --> 01:26:14.076
You know, drive down one
day, drive back the next.
01:26:14.216 --> 01:26:17.246
This is where you
get...with your blood.
01:26:17.246 --> 01:26:20.496
See the bubbles come
out that pipe.
01:26:21.356 --> 01:26:25.726
Then it goes down, down,
down...down into the drain.
01:26:25.726 --> 01:26:27.676
Down and around and up and out.
01:26:27.866 --> 01:26:28.506
That's good, Grandpa.
01:26:28.556 --> 01:26:30.606
Okay, I'm ready to turn.
01:26:30.606 --> 01:26:33.386
Are you ready to
get in the chair?
01:26:34.396 --> 01:26:37.926
I'm ready.
01:26:38.026 --> 01:26:38.456
Hey Rowan.
01:26:38.596 --> 01:26:39.416
Can you turn the light on?
01:26:40.136 --> 01:26:45.156
Get it closer in so it
can hover over the arm.
01:26:45.266 --> 01:26:46.086
Hey sweetie.
01:26:46.146 --> 01:26:47.106
Why don't you stay off grandma
01:26:47.106 --> 01:26:52.846
until she gets her
needles in, okay?
01:27:01.996 --> 01:27:04.926
Careful, come over to this side.
01:27:05.036 --> 01:27:06.916
Other side, buddy.
01:27:07.156 --> 01:27:11.086
There you go, roll that way.
01:27:11.606 --> 01:27:12.806
I'm a good roller.
01:27:13.166 --> 01:27:13.706
Yes you are.
01:27:13.756 --> 01:27:15.186
You're a good roller.
01:27:15.186 --> 01:27:17.696
Can we sneak a blood
pressure in there?
01:27:18.506 --> 01:27:19.226
Hey roller kid.
01:27:19.896 --> 01:27:22.336
Roll over this way.
01:27:22.906 --> 01:27:24.066
'So he quickly stopped...'
01:27:24.226 --> 01:27:25.336
Uh oh, there's food.
01:27:25.336 --> 01:27:26.266
There's food.
01:27:26.376 --> 01:27:26.946
Food is here.
01:27:26.946 --> 01:27:29.016
Can I just set it
over here for you?
01:27:29.056 --> 01:27:29.706
Will that work?
01:27:30.476 --> 01:27:31.386
Down here?
01:27:31.386 --> 01:27:34.296
Rowan, do you want to go out and
have supper out with Grandpa?
01:27:34.706 --> 01:27:38.376
You ready to eat, sweetie?
01:27:38.566 --> 01:27:39.116
Here, let's...
01:27:39.226 --> 01:27:41.426
I think that's grandma's.
01:27:41.596 --> 01:27:44.236
You go and have yours
out at the table.
01:27:44.236 --> 01:27:48.776
I could have cut it
up a little smaller.
01:27:49.126 --> 01:27:50.816
Oh, that's okay.
01:27:51.066 --> 01:27:52.836
I'll give you this.
01:27:53.946 --> 01:27:56.036
Here we go.
01:27:57.946 --> 01:27:59.396
Hey, it's supper, Grandpa.
01:28:00.636 --> 01:28:01.246
It's supper.
01:28:01.556 --> 01:28:09.096
Ready for chicken, Dad?
01:28:09.096 --> 01:28:12.976
Yes, please.
01:28:13.046 --> 01:28:18.296
♪ I'm the doctor....
01:28:18.376 --> 01:28:21.396
We've talked about
having another child.
01:28:21.396 --> 01:28:26.696
That's the one time where, you
know, considering the impact
01:28:26.696 --> 01:28:27.396
of PKD on your life...
01:28:27.396 --> 01:28:29.916
All right, spread it
around a little bit.
01:28:29.916 --> 01:28:34.756
>>Morgan: I know that I'll have
issues with my kidneys later
01:28:34.876 --> 01:28:41.426
in life and that I'll most
likely need a transplant.
01:28:41.706 --> 01:28:52.086
I just hope that my son is old
enough to really understand.
01:28:52.726 --> 01:28:59.026
When the transplant coordinator
first explained the non-directed
01:28:59.836 --> 01:29:03.806
donation program to me,
I did have some thoughts.
01:29:03.806 --> 01:29:07.166
I had some thoughts
about who is going to end
01:29:07.166 --> 01:29:09.626
up with my kidney and, um...
01:29:12.016 --> 01:29:14.606
Anybody who knows me
knows my politics.
01:29:14.666 --> 01:29:17.416
They're pretty far to the left.
01:29:17.456 --> 01:29:21.046
I'm a tree-hugging,
heart-bleeding liberal.
01:29:22.416 --> 01:29:25.806
So my first thought
was, 'what if this goes
01:29:25.806 --> 01:29:28.716
to somebody who's totally
the opposite of me?'
01:29:29.286 --> 01:29:31.016
>>Ellie: One of the
reasons I picked Kathy was
01:29:31.016 --> 01:29:33.366
because it was obvious
that we were probably
01:29:33.366 --> 01:29:35.976
on the same page
with that regard.
01:29:37.076 --> 01:29:42.006
I had to go back to - you're
giving with a warm hand.
01:29:42.006 --> 01:29:43.546
You can't really
be attached to that.
01:29:44.456 --> 01:29:46.846
But then a little
other voice in me said,
01:29:46.846 --> 01:29:51.106
'What if it is a Republican
and your kidney turns
01:29:51.106 --> 01:29:53.036
that Republican into a liberal?'
01:29:53.036 --> 01:29:55.586
Maybe there's some of that
that goes along with it.
01:29:55.586 --> 01:29:56.046
I don't know.
01:29:56.586 --> 01:29:56.736
MU
01:29:57.066 --> 01:30:16.276
>>Teacher: 3, 4,
5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
01:30:24.406 --> 01:30:39.236
Out to the side, bring it up.
01:30:41.616 --> 01:30:58.866
♪
01:30:59.366 --> 01:31:03.466
>>Elevator: Fourth floor
01:31:08.256 --> 01:31:11.566
I have this little
thing for you.
01:31:11.566 --> 01:31:14.536
I've removed the
information for the recipient.
01:31:14.896 --> 01:31:17.636
Just so you have an idea of
what's sort of happening.
01:31:17.716 --> 01:31:19.516
I actually have a card for him.
01:31:19.586 --> 01:31:20.776
Can I have you forward it?
01:31:20.776 --> 01:31:21.166
Yes, sure.
01:31:21.166 --> 01:31:22.056
You can give it to me now.
01:31:22.056 --> 01:31:24.326
I don't have a name on
it because, of course,
01:31:24.326 --> 01:31:25.406
I don't know who it's going to.
01:31:25.406 --> 01:31:26.906
And let me make sure
it's sealed.
01:31:29.776 --> 01:31:33.586
Do you mind if I
forward this next week?
01:31:34.426 --> 01:31:35.676
Or you wanted it to
go with the kidney?
01:31:35.746 --> 01:31:37.166
I'd like it to be
there before Christmas.
01:31:37.656 --> 01:31:39.896
So maybe you could put
his number or whatever...
01:31:39.896 --> 01:31:41.266
I can't even know a first name?
01:31:41.676 --> 01:31:44.396
Not yet. If eventually
that person is interested
01:31:44.396 --> 01:31:47.466
in releasing that information,
then...we'll be happy to...
01:31:47.466 --> 01:31:49.426
I just wanted to like, you
know be thinking of....
01:31:50.326 --> 01:31:52.476
So I've named him Frankie.
01:31:52.476 --> 01:31:54.806
Okay, whatever you need to do.
01:31:54.806 --> 01:31:55.656
That's fine.
01:31:55.836 --> 01:31:57.896
Well, he's from New Jersey.
01:31:57.956 --> 01:31:59.136
Frankie sounded right.
01:31:59.136 --> 01:31:59.846
Sounds good.
01:31:59.846 --> 01:32:00.406
Sounds good.
01:32:01.066 --> 01:32:04.206
So I've heard a lot about
your situation, your case.
01:32:04.206 --> 01:32:06.676
And I'm impressed that
you want to move forward.
01:32:06.676 --> 01:32:07.426
That's great.
01:32:07.536 --> 01:32:08.076
So far. So far.
01:32:08.426 --> 01:32:14.096
So I kind of read your
history a little bit but I want
01:32:14.196 --> 01:32:15.206
to just review everything.
01:32:15.286 --> 01:32:19.826
We've decided that the left
kidney is probably the best side
01:32:19.826 --> 01:32:23.306
to take, as far as for
the recipient operation.
01:32:23.996 --> 01:32:25.566
For you, it really
doesn't matter
01:32:25.566 --> 01:32:27.566
because both kidneys
are equal quality.
01:32:27.886 --> 01:32:31.906
Okay. Any operation that we do,
there's a risk of infection.
01:32:32.026 --> 01:32:34.956
There's a risk of bleeding and
then there's a risk of injury
01:32:34.956 --> 01:32:36.596
to structures that
we're operating
01:32:36.596 --> 01:32:40.706
around that could get damaged
during the operation itself.
01:32:40.956 --> 01:32:44.296
The structures I worry about on
the left side are the spleen --
01:32:44.976 --> 01:32:48.676
which sits on top of the
kidney, the colon which drapes
01:32:48.676 --> 01:32:54.406
over the upper part of the
kidney, and the adrenal gland
01:32:54.886 --> 01:32:57.616
and the pancreas kind of
on the side of the kidney.
01:32:57.616 --> 01:33:00.296
So all these structures
are right around...nestled
01:33:00.296 --> 01:33:02.906
around the kidney but,
you know, we deliver it
01:33:02.906 --> 01:33:04.526
through the incision
that we have to make
01:33:04.596 --> 01:33:05.766
to take the kidney out.
01:33:06.096 --> 01:33:08.586
If there's any injury
or bleeding
01:33:08.586 --> 01:33:12.406
that we can't control
laparoscopically, we would have
01:33:12.406 --> 01:33:15.796
to do an open operation which
would be the old-fashioned way
01:33:15.796 --> 01:33:18.466
of doing the case -- which
would be basically an incision
01:33:18.466 --> 01:33:20.146
on the side of the abdomen.
01:33:20.146 --> 01:33:24.276
Okay, we may have to go back
in if there's ongoing bleeding
01:33:24.276 --> 01:33:25.666
after the operation
01:33:25.666 --> 01:33:27.366
or if there's any
injuries that were missed.
01:33:27.496 --> 01:33:30.646
I have to just disclose
all the risks...
01:33:30.646 --> 01:33:33.826
so the ultimate risk of any
operation is the possibility
01:33:33.826 --> 01:33:35.236
of death from the operation.
01:33:35.676 --> 01:33:39.726
Again, it's quite...much
lower than a percent, okay,
01:33:39.726 --> 01:33:42.676
but I have to just
let you know that.
01:33:43.016 --> 01:33:45.636
The whole operation is
probably going to take about two
01:33:45.636 --> 01:33:46.866
and half to three hours.
01:33:46.866 --> 01:33:49.656
Aren't surgeries
usually in the morning?
01:33:49.656 --> 01:33:52.756
So the reason that we're going
so late...we could have gone
01:33:52.756 --> 01:33:56.526
in the morning but then what
happens is the kidney sits
01:33:57.206 --> 01:33:58.176
too long.
01:33:58.526 --> 01:34:02.546
We're trying to limit the amount
of time the kidney sits on ice.
01:34:02.866 --> 01:34:03.456
Makes sense.
01:34:03.456 --> 01:34:06.056
So that's why we're trying
to go as late in the day...
01:34:06.056 --> 01:34:08.006
but not too late because
then we'll miss the flight
01:34:08.006 --> 01:34:08.836
for the kidney.
01:34:08.836 --> 01:34:10.146
And you've done a few of these?
01:34:10.356 --> 01:34:10.956
Quite a few.
01:34:10.956 --> 01:34:14.696
And actually, Dr. Bry,
who you've met already,
01:34:14.696 --> 01:34:15.836
is going to help
me with this case.
01:34:15.836 --> 01:34:16.976
So a familiar face that
you've already seen.
01:34:17.056 --> 01:34:21.676
Ah, it's Kathy thinking
about me.
01:34:22.846 --> 01:34:24.616
Hi. Nice to meet you.
01:34:25.186 --> 01:34:26.006
>>Ellie: Good to meet you too.
01:34:26.416 --> 01:34:27.516
How old are your children?
01:34:27.816 --> 01:34:28.606
21, 30, and 33.
01:34:29.086 --> 01:34:31.916
Okay. And they're healthy?
01:34:32.206 --> 01:34:32.916
They're all healthy.
01:34:32.916 --> 01:34:35.176
And who's at home with you?
01:34:35.366 --> 01:34:36.216
For following up?
01:34:37.006 --> 01:34:40.326
My son. He's on winter
break from UC Santa Cruz.
01:34:40.816 --> 01:34:41.656
And he signed up for this?
01:34:42.396 --> 01:34:44.656
Well, he's kind of
gotten signed up, yeah...
01:34:45.396 --> 01:34:48.266
This is always very exciting for
us for someone to step forward,
01:34:48.266 --> 01:34:49.256
especially for someone
who is doing this
01:34:49.286 --> 01:34:49.976
for an altruistic reason.
01:34:50.726 --> 01:34:54.556
So everything's been
pretty clear.
01:34:55.066 --> 01:34:57.106
Yeah, in fact, doubly clear,
01:34:57.106 --> 01:34:59.546
because they all covered the
same things which is great.
01:34:59.696 --> 01:35:00.316
I told you.
01:35:00.316 --> 01:35:01.696
It's all the same...
01:35:01.906 --> 01:35:03.106
But that's reassuring.
01:35:03.266 --> 01:35:04.116
It's reassuring.
01:35:04.116 --> 01:35:06.296
Any procedure, anything...
01:35:06.296 --> 01:35:07.566
you want somebody experienced.
01:35:07.566 --> 01:35:09.116
You know how it is
with the work you do.
01:35:09.246 --> 01:35:11.826
These folks are so,
so experienced.
01:35:11.826 --> 01:35:13.556
So what are your
plans for tonight?
01:35:13.556 --> 01:35:15.776
I'm going to have a nice dinner
01:35:15.906 --> 01:35:16.956
because I'll probably
have a light breakfast.
01:35:16.986 --> 01:35:17.976
I'll probably be
nervous in the morning.
01:35:18.106 --> 01:35:21.896
>>Ellie: I'm going
to go up by myself...
01:35:21.896 --> 01:35:25.206
and then, on the day
of surgery, my friend...
01:35:25.206 --> 01:35:26.976
my dear friend Mark is going
to come and accompany me.
01:35:27.686 --> 01:35:29.246
Did you order room service?
01:35:29.746 --> 01:35:31.516
Did you bring me room service?
01:35:31.516 --> 01:35:32.466
Yes, exactly.
01:35:34.526 --> 01:35:36.196
You didn't have too bad traffic?
01:35:36.726 --> 01:35:37.826
We won't even discuss it.
01:35:38.126 --> 01:35:40.286
That's probably not
a good subject.
01:35:40.486 --> 01:35:40.886
Let's see.
01:35:41.576 --> 01:35:42.996
We started out with...
01:35:42.996 --> 01:35:46.336
they took another
eleven vials of blood.
01:35:46.766 --> 01:35:50.406
Maybe you could handle giving
them the healthcare directive?
01:35:51.286 --> 01:35:53.146
Either it will be
successful or it won't.
01:35:53.366 --> 01:35:54.466
There's good news and bad news.
01:35:54.466 --> 01:35:58.276
Good news is we harvested
a kidney.
01:35:58.366 --> 01:36:01.696
And even better news...
01:36:01.696 --> 01:36:02.506
there's a lot more...
01:36:02.506 --> 01:36:03.816
A lot more organs to go.
01:36:03.986 --> 01:36:06.986
Exactly. Ah, I have
a good feeling.
01:36:06.986 --> 01:36:08.266
I think it's going to be fine.
01:36:08.586 --> 01:36:10.486
What size scar are
you going to have?
01:36:10.486 --> 01:36:14.726
I thought it was going to be
like three, four centimeters.
01:36:14.796 --> 01:36:16.186
It's more like seven or eight.
01:36:16.686 --> 01:36:18.686
But it's at the bikini line.
01:36:18.686 --> 01:36:22.476
They come in and they mark
where they're going to...
01:36:22.746 --> 01:36:23.236
This side...
01:36:25.326 --> 01:36:26.676
Yeah, this side up.
01:36:26.676 --> 01:36:27.736
So probably by the
time I'm done,
01:36:27.736 --> 01:36:28.796
it's going to be four hours.
01:36:28.866 --> 01:36:32.006
Because they gotta wake
you up and everything.
01:36:32.006 --> 01:36:34.866
And then they'll bring me
into the recovery room.
01:36:34.936 --> 01:36:37.236
And then they'll
probably come get you
01:36:37.446 --> 01:36:39.156
when they've got me
into a regular room.
01:36:39.376 --> 01:36:41.516
Couple people I've
mentioned...'Where you going?'
01:36:41.976 --> 01:36:42.816
San Francisco.
01:36:43.166 --> 01:36:43.906
'Why are you going there?
01:36:43.906 --> 01:36:45.016
What are you going to do?'
01:36:45.386 --> 01:36:46.456
Sit around in a hospital.
01:36:47.876 --> 01:36:51.836
'Why?' Well, there's
this pink lady
01:36:52.116 --> 01:36:55.716
who is going to donate a kidney.
01:36:56.296 --> 01:36:59.426
'Really. To a family member?'
01:36:59.426 --> 01:37:01.196
No. 'To whom?'
01:37:01.486 --> 01:37:02.266
She doesn't know.
01:37:02.366 --> 01:37:03.786
30 Across.
01:37:03.786 --> 01:37:05.136
Evita. Role.
01:37:05.206 --> 01:37:08.616
♪ And it's 1, 2, 3,
4, 5 letters beginning
01:37:08.866 --> 01:37:11.466
with P. Peron Ah...as
soon as you say that,
01:37:11.466 --> 01:37:17.236
I go, 'ah...I knew that.'
01:37:17.426 --> 01:37:23.416
I don't want to think anymore.
01:37:23.416 --> 01:37:30.806
I'm just going to enjoy this.
01:37:30.806 --> 01:37:39.736
My brain shut off.
01:37:39.806 --> 01:37:42.906
Hi. Am I in the right place?
01:37:42.906 --> 01:37:43.666
You are. Oh good.
01:37:43.666 --> 01:37:47.176
Are you here to check in?
01:37:47.176 --> 01:37:49.136
What's your last name?
01:37:49.566 --> 01:37:53.996
Edwards. It's Dr. Mahanty
and I don't know how
01:37:53.996 --> 01:37:55.286
to spell his last name.
01:37:56.576 --> 01:38:00.256
So in case Jacob calls,
tell him that if he needs
01:38:00.436 --> 01:38:02.866
to call, he should call mine.
01:38:03.306 --> 01:38:09.236
Okay. I'll send him a text.
01:38:09.566 --> 01:38:10.556
There. Edwards.
01:38:10.656 --> 01:38:11.966
That was quick.
01:38:13.396 --> 01:38:14.906
That was really quick.
01:38:14.906 --> 01:38:16.236
Hello. My name is Carranda.
01:38:16.306 --> 01:38:18.316
I'm the nurse's assistant.
01:38:18.316 --> 01:38:19.706
I'm going to show you to a room.
01:38:19.706 --> 01:38:21.716
I can take your paperwork.
01:38:21.716 --> 01:38:22.916
A bag for your shoes.
01:38:23.456 --> 01:38:35.476
And all of your things can
go inside the garment bag.
01:38:35.476 --> 01:38:35.596
Okay.
01:38:35.806 --> 01:38:38.376
Mark. Are you out there?
01:38:38.626 --> 01:38:40.696
Can you come and tie me?
01:38:42.036 --> 01:38:49.016
This thing ties in the back
and I don't know how to do it.
01:38:50.566 --> 01:38:51.306
You can lie back.
01:38:52.296 --> 01:38:55.516
Now did you know your gown is
part of your warming device?
01:38:55.826 --> 01:38:59.586
Well, I get hot flashes so you
might not warm it too much--
01:38:59.686 --> 01:39:01.906
because I'll be ripping it off.
01:39:02.356 --> 01:39:05.976
Okay. So if it gets too
warm, you can turn it down.
01:39:07.366 --> 01:39:08.066
That's funny.
01:39:08.596 --> 01:39:11.056
Do you want a blanket?
01:39:11.056 --> 01:39:12.976
No. It is a little
bit warm in here.
01:39:13.216 --> 01:39:17.976
I came and I was all bundled
up and now I'm like, whoo...
01:39:18.636 --> 01:39:21.556
Do you have an advanced
directive
01:39:21.556 --> 01:39:22.686
or is there someone
you want to appoint
01:39:22.686 --> 01:39:24.386
to make medical decisions
for you?
01:39:24.496 --> 01:39:27.306
I do have an advanced
medical directive.
01:39:27.306 --> 01:39:29.866
He also has power
of attorney for me.
01:39:30.346 --> 01:39:32.716
Did you have a good
last meal last night?
01:39:32.776 --> 01:39:34.946
Don't say it that way.
01:39:34.946 --> 01:39:36.536
Not that way, I'm sorry.
01:39:36.536 --> 01:39:39.996
A good meal before you can't
eat anything for a while.
01:39:39.996 --> 01:39:41.496
Well, since the surgery
is late in the day,
01:39:41.496 --> 01:39:42.706
I was allowed to have breakfast.
01:39:42.976 --> 01:39:47.786
Okay. So, Eldonna Edwards,
what's your birthdate?
01:39:48.046 --> 01:39:50.016
March 3, 1959 Okay.
01:39:50.016 --> 01:39:51.206
And this is a consent form.
01:39:51.256 --> 01:39:54.066
Okay? It says you're having
a left donor nephrectomy.
01:39:54.506 --> 01:39:56.926
You've already spoken to the
doctor about the procedure.
01:39:56.926 --> 01:39:57.436
I have. Okay.
01:39:57.666 --> 01:39:59.406
Then I'll have you sign here
if you're comfortable with it.
01:39:59.526 --> 01:40:02.606
I am. And then down here is
consent for blood transfusion
01:40:02.606 --> 01:40:03.966
in case they need to
give you any blood.
01:40:03.966 --> 01:40:05.706
Okay. Nothing from Jacob?
01:40:07.986 --> 01:40:08.606
No. Don't worry about it.
01:40:08.676 --> 01:40:09.636
Do you think I should call him?
01:40:09.636 --> 01:40:10.866
If you want.
01:40:11.016 --> 01:40:15.586
Why not? If you'd be more
comfortable, give him a call.
01:40:15.586 --> 01:40:19.096
I just... like if he's driving,
I don't want him to pick
01:40:19.096 --> 01:40:20.476
up the phone thinking, 'Oh,
01:40:20.526 --> 01:40:22.266
something bad happened
so I better pick up.'
01:40:22.266 --> 01:40:25.816
I don't want to inhibit his
driving any more than...
01:40:28.536 --> 01:40:29.676
Hey, did I wake you up?
01:40:34.056 --> 01:40:35.996
Oh, are you at home?
01:40:38.676 --> 01:40:39.676
Oh, no worries.
01:40:39.676 --> 01:40:42.256
I just don't want you to get
caught in traffic or anything.
01:40:43.316 --> 01:40:45.816
You know, if you don't come in
until tomorrow, that's fine too.
01:40:45.986 --> 01:40:46.676
It's up to you.
01:40:46.856 --> 01:40:48.896
>>Jacob: I'm still not sure.
01:40:48.896 --> 01:40:53.556
I would like to come
in tonight and see you.
01:40:53.896 --> 01:40:55.756
Okay. Well, if you
don't make it...
01:40:55.756 --> 01:40:57.266
I mean, don't do
it on my account.
01:40:58.086 --> 01:41:00.536
Oh, he has terrible
reception in his apartment.
01:41:00.986 --> 01:41:04.396
It sounds like he wants to
be here but he's realizing
01:41:04.396 --> 01:41:07.446
that it's gonna be a push.
01:41:07.446 --> 01:41:10.646
I just don't want him to think
that I don't want him here.
01:41:10.966 --> 01:41:11.936
Well no. Understandable.
01:41:16.466 --> 01:41:17.606
Yeah, I lost you.
01:41:17.716 --> 01:41:19.576
I don't want you to think
I don't want you here.
01:41:19.576 --> 01:41:22.206
You're more than welcome to be
here if you want to be here.
01:41:22.516 --> 01:41:23.586
As long as you talk to Mark
01:41:23.586 --> 01:41:25.616
and you feel comfortable
with how I'm doing.
01:41:26.186 --> 01:41:27.636
If for any reason
I want you here,
01:41:27.636 --> 01:41:29.886
I promise you I will tell you,
'Please get your butt over here.
01:41:31.376 --> 01:41:32.116
How's that?'
01:41:32.296 --> 01:41:36.806
>>Jacob: I'm ready to hop
in the car at any time.
01:41:36.806 --> 01:41:37.486
Okay, good.
01:41:37.486 --> 01:41:37.636
All right.
01:41:37.636 --> 01:41:39.686
So I will talk to you
hopefully tonight.
01:41:40.956 --> 01:41:43.326
>>Jacob: Good luck
with your surgery, Mom.
01:41:43.326 --> 01:41:43.966
Thank you.
01:41:44.016 --> 01:41:44.836
Keep your phone on.
01:41:44.836 --> 01:41:46.226
Okay? Love you kiddo.
01:42:10.556 --> 01:42:10.666
♪ Bye.
01:42:24.486 --> 01:42:25.846
I don't know.
01:42:26.276 --> 01:42:30.566
I just got emotional
when I talked to him.
01:42:34.836 --> 01:42:39.016
Just being silly.
01:42:39.116 --> 01:42:45.576
Will you hand me
a tissue, please?
01:42:45.716 --> 01:42:46.606
Thank you.
01:42:46.606 --> 01:42:58.946
I don't know why I
got so emotional.
01:43:00.106 --> 01:43:01.976
I want to hold on to it, thanks.
01:43:02.956 --> 01:43:07.776
Okay, do you want to lie there?
01:43:08.066 --> 01:43:13.456
Or do you want to do something?
01:43:13.456 --> 01:43:14.276
Tap dance?
01:43:14.276 --> 01:43:20.286
No. You feel like reading?
01:43:20.436 --> 01:43:29.216
Huh? You feel like reading?
01:43:29.216 --> 01:43:36.766
No, not right now.
01:43:36.766 --> 01:43:43.796
Just want a few minutes.
01:43:43.796 --> 01:43:43.976
Thank you.
01:43:44.046 --> 01:43:45.256
Hi. Hi again.
01:43:45.256 --> 01:43:48.576
Now I'm going to give
you something to relax.
01:43:48.576 --> 01:43:51.136
That's the first
thing I'm going to do.
01:43:51.176 --> 01:43:55.116
Before we do anything else.
01:43:55.116 --> 01:43:55.266
All right.
01:43:56.546 --> 01:43:59.896
A little cold.
01:44:02.236 --> 01:44:04.296
Now I'm just going to
give you some more oxygen
01:44:04.296 --> 01:44:04.976
for a couple seconds.
01:44:05.116 --> 01:44:10.916
Still doing all right?
01:44:11.816 --> 01:44:16.106
You doing okay?
01:44:20.086 --> 01:44:21.976
We're doing a left
donor nephrectomy.
01:44:22.516 --> 01:46:01.906
♪
01:46:02.406 --> 01:46:11.116
Can we have another bag
of ice just in case...?
01:46:11.176 --> 01:46:11.636
It's up there.
01:46:12.106 --> 01:46:13.116
Slow it down.
01:46:34.266 --> 01:46:35.446
Help me isolate....
01:46:39.716 --> 01:46:40.586
All right, it's good to go.
01:46:40.586 --> 01:46:47.046
Do we have a sticker for this?
01:46:47.296 --> 01:46:48.716
I do indeed.
01:46:49.166 --> 01:46:50.836
Okay, I'll hand it to you,
01:46:50.946 --> 01:46:57.176
you'll put that on...put
it in your cooler.
01:46:57.486 --> 01:46:57.576
Okay.
01:46:58.411 --> 01:47:00.411
♪
01:47:00.806 --> 01:47:06.526
>>Ellie: Dear Friend, By the
time this letter reaches you,
01:47:06.776 --> 01:47:08.876
I hope that your new
kidney is working hard
01:47:08.876 --> 01:47:10.346
to do what it's
supposed to do...
01:47:10.656 --> 01:47:13.296
as it did for me for
the past 51 years.
01:47:14.156 --> 01:47:16.466
I say your kidney, because ever
01:47:16.466 --> 01:47:18.666
since the transplant
center found a match,
01:47:18.896 --> 01:47:20.686
I no longer felt
it was my organ -
01:47:20.686 --> 01:47:24.216
more like I was just incubating
it until the transfer.
01:47:26.056 --> 01:47:27.356
Leading up to the surgery,
01:47:27.546 --> 01:47:29.306
I've been very protective
of your kidney.
01:47:29.426 --> 01:47:31.656
I've been a more
careful driver.
01:47:31.656 --> 01:47:34.576
I've eaten more vegetables
and exercised more.
01:47:35.056 --> 01:47:40.366
I decided to write you because
if it were me, I would want
01:47:40.366 --> 01:47:42.776
to know a little about the
person who raised my kidney
01:47:43.136 --> 01:47:44.506
on the first leg