WEBVTT

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You never know, like, really
what somebody\'\'s going through

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by looking at them
until you ask them

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and then they might not
even tell you.

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They may not let you know
or they may not tell you.

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And they might not
tell you all of it.

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Look, I guarantee
every person that\'\'s here

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are going through
this situation.

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There\'\'s a lot of anger
and a lot of hurt.

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You know, but you really
never know what people

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are going through.

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How they disguise it
or how they mask it.

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You never know.

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Um...

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...what does the general public
need to know

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about living
with limited resources?

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The general public?

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That\'\'s a good question, yeah.

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I\'\'m gonna pass on that one.

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Okay, it\'\'s like you come
to a fork in the road

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when you\'\'re poor
and you\'\'re living in poverty

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and it feels like
you\'\'re backed into a corner

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where you don\'\'t have any money
to get hygiene stuff.

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Wash your clothes.

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Laundry.

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You don\'\'t have no soap.

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Shampoo.

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You don\'\'t have money
for toothbrush, toothpaste--

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And all those different things.

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And all that other stuff.

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I\'\'m getting paid minimum wage.

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We can\'\'t even afford
to keep a roof over our head.

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And then, what do you do?

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I don\'\'t have money,
I don\'\'t have money,

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I only have...
well I don\'\'t wanna get

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into what I have,
but I do not have any money.

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I am...

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I just feel like being poor,
you get ideas.

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\"Okay, I can do this with this.

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Okay, I got this.\"

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My mom used to make things
out of egg cartons

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and anything
that you could give her.

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She could make something out of
a picture frame

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or anything,
as a matter of fact.

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I really like to fix cars.

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That\'\'s what I really like to do.

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If I fix your car,
I can use your car

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and that\'\'s less money
that I have to pay

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to get on public transportation
or to pay for a taxi

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or stuff like that.

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Like, I\'\'ll do a friend\'\'s hair
and that person will do my hair,

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so it\'\'s like now I don\'\'t have
to pay to get may hair done.

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Sometimes, I have actually taken
extra material I had

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that I would make curtains with
and make clothes with them.

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I mean, it gives you
just more to be creative with.

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So, it opens up things to you,
\'\'cause sometimes,

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when you have things,
you don\'\'t search

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inside yourself for anything.

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It\'\'s our creativity,
we don\'\'t need a lot

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to have a lot
and that\'\'s proven.

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But we\'\'re in a country--

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You know, everything
in this country--

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Live in a capitalistic society--

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That requires for us
to have money.

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You have to have money here.

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In fact, it kinda takes
a lot of our creativity away.

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Money is kind of like
the new form of slavery

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in America.

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More than race.

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It\'\'s just a modern-day slavery.

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And power is money here.

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If you got the money,
I can overlook your color

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or your something or your--

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That\'\'s the only way
you can change things here.

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You know what I mean?

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You need money to...
keep yourself up.

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Not even just keeping
up with the Joneses.

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You need money just to feel
like a normal citizen.

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Because I don\'\'t have money,

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I just know
I can\'\'t participate in life

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and do the kind of things
that, quote-unquote,

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\"your average person\" does.

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You need money just to feel
like you\'\'re human.

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I don\'\'t wanna use
the word \"poverty.\"

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It just sounds like such a...

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...well, we know
what we think of

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when we hear
the word \"poverty.\"

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The way I felt when
I didn\'\'t have any money

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and I was still young,
it felt as if I was a rock

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and I was kicked
around every day

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by different people

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with nice shoes on.

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And I could just remember
having no hope, being hopeless.

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Okay, so I count to three now?

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Yeah, if you want.

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Hello, my name
is Tito McMillan.

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I\'\'m 40 years old

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and my interests that I have
are playing with my children.

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I just...I have
three grandchildren,

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I enjoy playing with them.

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PlayStation, Madden \'\'13.

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That\'\'s my hobbies.

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I worked pretty much
all my life up until 2011

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and...

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I drove for AAA
for 15 years

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and it was...I enjoyed it.

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I mean, it was anywhere
from 14 hours a day,

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\'\'cause you at least wanna make
at least $100

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and it\'\'s kinda hard doing it
when you\'\'ve got 25

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other drivers out there
and you might have 19 calls

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in a day.

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That part of it
messed it up for me.

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In 2010, I quit
to go out to Texas.

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They have refining jobs
at the oil rigs out there

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were pretty good money,
but once I got out there,

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it was something
totally different

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and if I could,
I would have enjoyed--

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I would love to get back
in a tow truck.

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I grew up in a small town
in Arkansas

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called England, Arkansas,
population, 3,060 people.

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There was a set
of railroad tracks

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that ran through the middle
of the town,

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whites on one side,
blacks on the other.

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I grew up on the wrong side
of the street.

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On my side of the street
were ran-down apartments

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and then, on the opposite
side of the street

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were upscale condos.

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Whites owned all the property
and the farms

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and the blacks worked
on the farms.

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But out here in California--

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I see only black people.

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I didn\'\'t grow up
with many white people around.

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It was pretty much
just Hispanics--

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Latinos.

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Lot of African Americans--

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And Mexicans--

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Lived on the flat lands.

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It\'\'s not in a very good
neighborhood.

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Not the good areas of LA.

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And then,
predominantly middle class,

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people that live in the hills.

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They don\'\'t wanna be
where the urban people are.

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They don\'\'t wanna be where
all the poverty is involved,

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the people who are homeless.

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It\'\'s not a coincidence.

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This is done all over
the United States.

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We were pretty much secluded
from the regular city.

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They had it all cornered in
and contained right there

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around the police station.

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The air even smells different
for some reason.

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And the police is patrolling
to make sure

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that we don\'\'t bother
the nice neighborhoods.

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I\'\'ll make this more clear:

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There\'\'s not a lot
in the neighborhood

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that\'\'s positive.

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There\'\'s so many people
who are out of jobs there,

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they\'\'re out in the street
looking for jobs.

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You\'\'d never see it
in the suburbs

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of white neighborhoods.

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African-American men
hanging out on the corner.

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The white guys hanging out
at the liquor store.

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Matter of fact,
they didn\'\'t even have

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liquor stores
too much in the suburbs.

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They had liquor barns
or, you know,

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in my neighborhood,
within a two block radius,

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we have six liquor stores.

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There\'\'s like a liquor store
on every corner.

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Do the math.

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Okay.

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My name is Doray, I\'\'m 25,
I have a daughter who\'\'s four,

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and I currently live
at Ucla Villa,

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which is a homeless shelter.

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I have been...I have
cerebral palsy

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and I am a very strong person,
very outgoing, very motivated,

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very funny, bubbly person,
and that\'\'s me.

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Um, I live in Los Angeles,
I don\'\'t care to give that out,

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and this city is full
of pretty much millionaires.

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You know what\'\'s funny,
half this city is like rich

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and the other side is poor
and then, there\'\'s like,

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oh, my God,
we live in this place

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where there\'\'s billionaires
like right down the street

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from you and yet,
you\'\'re struggling

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just to get insurance,
you\'\'re struggling to pay this

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and there\'\'s a billionaire
right down the street.

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Yeah, it\'\'s so funny,
but it\'\'s true.

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And everybody\'\'s like,
\"The City of Angels,

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I can\'\'t with to go
to Los Angeles.\"

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If they could see
that there is a whole other side

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that is so poor,
like in poverty,

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like really bad,
like little hut houses.

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I dunno why that is, I dunno,
but I\'\'ve seen it.

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And then, you go to this
beautiful side of--

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Can I say this?

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Of Hollywood and it\'\'s,
like, gorgeous,

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makes you wanna cry.

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My bathroom, their bathroom
is bigger than my house!

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And it\'\'s like holy crap,
how do you get there?

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When we lived in Inglewood,
I mean, now when I go back

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to LA, it\'\'s horrible,
but I dunno,

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when I was growing up,
it was really nice.

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In actuality,
it was a lot of fun.

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It was a very residential
neighborhood.

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I knew most of the people
on my street

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and in the neighboring streets.

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It was real tight, it was
like your own neighborhood.

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Your own family.

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Where everybody
knows each other,

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knows what\'\'s going in,
what\'\'s going out.

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Neighbors help take care
of each other or look out

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for each other
and try to help each other

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as much as they can.

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As a kid, we ran around
the city a lot,

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around our neighborhood.

00:11:19.041 --> 00:11:22.333
We used to stay out late,
played outside,

00:11:22.333 --> 00:11:24.834
just like summertime.

00:11:24.834 --> 00:11:27.291
Go swimming.

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Gardening.

00:11:27.999 --> 00:11:30.917
We played sports like football.

00:11:30.917 --> 00:11:32.792
We used to play
with Barbie dolls.

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Fire hydrant being busted open.

00:11:33.999 --> 00:11:39.333
Have a lot of fun things
to do as a child

00:11:39.333 --> 00:11:41.667
growing up in West Oakland.

00:11:41.667 --> 00:11:44.375
Then I moved,
I moved away from there.

00:11:44.375 --> 00:11:47.375
I moved away from Carson
and went to Inglewood

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and it was like
a different world.

00:11:51.792 --> 00:11:53.667
I think when things
started going down south

00:11:53.667 --> 00:11:57.750
in the LA area around the \'\'90s
is when my parents decided

00:11:57.750 --> 00:11:59.333
to move out to Palmdale.

00:11:59.333 --> 00:12:02.667
And then, we kinda moved
on up from there.

00:12:02.667 --> 00:12:05.417
We moved away from
the projects into

00:12:05.417 --> 00:12:09.458
a middle class neighborhood.

00:12:09.458 --> 00:12:11.333
It was better.

00:12:11.333 --> 00:12:12.959
It was quite comfortable.

00:12:12.959 --> 00:12:14.333
I lived in the suburbs.

00:12:14.333 --> 00:12:15.250
In our own home.

00:12:15.250 --> 00:12:21.041
And I grew up with a nice house,
big house.

00:12:21.041 --> 00:12:22.208
We were very middle class.

00:12:22.208 --> 00:12:25.333
We were one of the first tracts
in Orange County.

00:12:25.333 --> 00:12:27.917
I didn\'\'t want and need
for anything.

00:12:27.917 --> 00:12:29.500
If I had to say,
me and my brother

00:12:29.500 --> 00:12:31.750
were pretty spoiled.

00:12:33.083 --> 00:12:36.000
In 2008, my mom\'\'s
house foreclosed

00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:39.166
due to a loan scam.

00:12:39.166 --> 00:12:42.625
There was a lot
of fraud things going on,

00:12:42.625 --> 00:12:45.625
so she though that she
would be able to trust

00:12:45.625 --> 00:12:48.125
whoever the broker was
to reevaluate her loan

00:12:48.125 --> 00:12:50.709
and give her a lower mortgage
on her house

00:12:50.709 --> 00:12:55.250
and somehow the lady
transferred the house over

00:12:55.250 --> 00:12:58.333
to someone else\'\'s name
and kinda quick sold it over,

00:12:58.333 --> 00:13:02.999
quick loan, quick deed, quick
something, over to her name,

00:13:02.999 --> 00:13:04.458
sold the house
from underneath my mom

00:13:04.458 --> 00:13:07.999
and within three weeks,
we had to get out of there

00:13:07.999 --> 00:13:11.667
and that\'\'s where me
and both my brothers

00:13:11.667 --> 00:13:14.291
and my sister,
we all were there.

00:13:16.959 --> 00:13:19.000
Trying to survive
with just food stamps.

00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:21.999
Which is only $15 a month.

00:13:21.999 --> 00:13:23.250
It\'\'s not enough.

00:13:23.250 --> 00:13:23.999
It\'\'s a joke.

00:13:23.999 --> 00:13:29.417
It\'\'s a living hell,
just to be honest.

00:13:29.417 --> 00:13:32.959
I call it
the American nightmare.

00:13:32.959 --> 00:13:36.834
Welfare just gives you
enough money to live

00:13:36.834 --> 00:13:37.458
in extreme poverty.

00:13:37.458 --> 00:13:39.999
I dunno how anyone
could just live on welfare.

00:13:39.999 --> 00:13:43.000
With one child we receive
$516 a month.

00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:46.792
$516 for three people.

00:13:46.792 --> 00:13:49.125
You can\'\'t live off of that.

00:13:49.125 --> 00:13:53.208
It\'\'s not enough to pay rent.

00:13:53.208 --> 00:13:54.417
Even for a room.

00:13:54.417 --> 00:13:55.375
In the Bay Area.

00:13:55.375 --> 00:13:58.583
In California,
you cannot find a studio

00:13:58.583 --> 00:14:01.417
for less than $700 a month.

00:14:01.417 --> 00:14:02.542
Let alone keep you fed.

00:14:02.542 --> 00:14:04.999
Common necessities
of you, a child.

00:14:04.999 --> 00:14:07.291
My rent\'\'s $500
and I\'\'m sharing

00:14:07.291 --> 00:14:08.999
that apartment
with three people.

00:14:08.999 --> 00:14:10.999
And that\'\'s in
the worst part of town.

00:14:10.999 --> 00:14:13.417
In exchange for such
a cheap rent,

00:14:13.417 --> 00:14:14.999
we have rats, we have roaches,

00:14:14.999 --> 00:14:17.625
we have no kitchenette,
one bed, one TV,

00:14:17.625 --> 00:14:20.999
and one bathroom,
which the three of us share.

00:14:20.999 --> 00:14:23.583
Our faucet didn\'\'t work
in the bathroom,

00:14:23.583 --> 00:14:25.625
nor did our sink.

00:14:26.999 --> 00:14:30.999
As far as food,
I run out of food stamps.

00:14:30.999 --> 00:14:31.999
I always run out of money.

00:14:31.999 --> 00:14:34.417
Maybe 10 days before
the end of the month?

00:14:34.417 --> 00:14:37.083
Every month, it\'\'s a given.

00:14:37.083 --> 00:14:38.458
Regardless of how
you spend them.

00:14:38.458 --> 00:14:41.999
So, in those 10 days,
we have to find places

00:14:41.999 --> 00:14:44.083
where they feed us

00:14:44.083 --> 00:14:50.999
and sometimes, there\'\'s not
even a place to go.

00:14:51.999 --> 00:14:54.625
You know, you\'\'re hungry.

00:14:54.625 --> 00:14:56.250
Your kid is hungry.

00:14:56.250 --> 00:15:01.500
Been hungry...
numbers of days,

00:15:01.500 --> 00:15:04.875
not having the funds

00:15:04.875 --> 00:15:08.792
to get my kids something to eat.

00:15:16.875 --> 00:15:20.667
My name is Melinda Emilien.

00:15:20.667 --> 00:15:26.875
My interest are I love to read,
I love knowledge,

00:15:26.875 --> 00:15:31.792
I love computers,
and I love being a mom.

00:15:31.792 --> 00:15:36.000
I like doing the mom thing.

00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:38.375
One thing I really
like doing is reading.

00:15:38.375 --> 00:15:42.999
It takes me out
of my situation.

00:15:44.999 --> 00:15:48.458
It, uh...

00:15:48.458 --> 00:15:50.999
I dunno, it takes me into a...

00:15:50.999 --> 00:15:52.999
like I said, takes me out
of my situation

00:15:52.999 --> 00:15:54.792
that I\'\'m in now.

00:15:54.792 --> 00:15:56.333
But even when I\'\'m not
in a situation,

00:15:56.333 --> 00:16:00.875
I still like to read,
but I really like

00:16:00.875 --> 00:16:04.375
to read now more than ever.

00:16:04.375 --> 00:16:06.834
More than ever.

00:16:06.834 --> 00:16:09.709
I like Facebook.

00:16:09.709 --> 00:16:12.542
It also takes me out
of the situation

00:16:12.542 --> 00:16:17.291
because you can be anybody
you wanna be on a computer.

00:16:17.291 --> 00:16:18.333
You can be anybody.

00:16:18.333 --> 00:16:19.792
Not that I wanna
be somebody different,

00:16:19.792 --> 00:16:25.542
but...oh, I sound
like I\'\'m contradicting myself.

00:16:25.542 --> 00:16:28.417
I don\'\'t wanna see this
when its done.

00:16:28.417 --> 00:16:34.583
I like reality shows,
but reality shows is reality,

00:16:34.583 --> 00:16:36.792
you can\'\'t...

00:16:36.792 --> 00:16:39.250
not that they\'\'re really reality
because they\'\'re all edited

00:16:39.250 --> 00:16:43.999
and stuff, but what\'\'s
happening is live,

00:16:43.999 --> 00:16:49.417
it\'\'s...but in a book,
you can create your own ending,

00:16:49.417 --> 00:16:51.834
you can create
your own beginning,

00:16:51.834 --> 00:16:53.959
even though
it\'\'s someone else\'\'s story

00:16:53.959 --> 00:16:58.291
that they\'\'re telling
and I like that.

00:17:02.500 --> 00:17:08.917
I think sometimes people
have a hard time understanding

00:17:08.917 --> 00:17:13.083
why someone can\'\'t function,
why someone can\'\'t get a job

00:17:13.083 --> 00:17:14.041
after living on the streets.

00:17:14.041 --> 00:17:20.999
Being homeless is a job,
it\'\'s a 24 hour a day job,

00:17:20.999 --> 00:17:25.041
a 24 hour a day
non-paying job,

00:17:25.041 --> 00:17:26.417
lemme put it like that.

00:17:26.417 --> 00:17:30.458
I think people minimize
the severity of the situation

00:17:30.458 --> 00:17:31.583
of being homeless.

00:17:31.583 --> 00:17:35.041
That\'\'s my roadblock
of trying to find a job.

00:17:35.041 --> 00:17:36.999
And I don\'\'t wanna sound
like I\'\'m complaining,

00:17:36.999 --> 00:17:41.999
but I just wanna be very real
abut this situation

00:17:41.999 --> 00:17:46.834
and the situation is
is it\'\'s hard because--

00:17:46.834 --> 00:17:48.417
I want a job.

00:17:48.417 --> 00:17:49.458
I want to get up and go to work.

00:17:49.458 --> 00:17:51.208
I wanna get up,
I wanna go to work.

00:17:51.208 --> 00:17:55.166
It feels good.

00:17:55.166 --> 00:17:56.834
I need to work.

00:17:56.834 --> 00:17:58.125
Having to get up
to hate to get up.

00:17:58.125 --> 00:18:01.542
It feels good doing something
with your life,

00:18:01.542 --> 00:18:02.625
doing something productive.

00:18:02.625 --> 00:18:08.333
I mean, I would love to,
but, man, I ain\'\'t got no phone.

00:18:08.333 --> 00:18:09.625
You have no phone.

00:18:09.625 --> 00:18:10.792
Where they can contact you.

00:18:10.792 --> 00:18:12.999
If they want you
to come in for an interview,

00:18:12.999 --> 00:18:15.208
how are they gonna call you?

00:18:15.208 --> 00:18:17.000
You don\'\'t have that address.

00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:18.792
What kind of address
am I gonna put on

00:18:18.792 --> 00:18:20.542
an application for a job.

00:18:20.542 --> 00:18:21.458
I ain\'\'t had a shower.

00:18:21.458 --> 00:18:26.458
But half my day is gone,
trying to take a shower

00:18:26.458 --> 00:18:28.959
and trying to eat
and then the rest

00:18:28.959 --> 00:18:31.000
of the day is pretty much done.

00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:33.083
What I look like
going on an interview like that?

00:18:33.083 --> 00:18:35.917
I\'\'m coming in an interview,
leaving from

00:18:35.917 --> 00:18:39.208
a Wal-Mart bathroom,
freshening up

00:18:39.208 --> 00:18:41.750
from sleeping
in my car at night.

00:18:41.750 --> 00:18:45.750
The mailman is not
gonna deliver any mail saying

00:18:45.750 --> 00:18:49.959
I got an interview tomorrow
to my car

00:18:49.959 --> 00:18:53.041
or to the tree
that I\'\'m sleeping under.

00:18:53.041 --> 00:18:55.208
By the time
the job interview comes along,

00:18:55.208 --> 00:18:57.999
it just seems
like you\'\'re so exhausted

00:18:57.999 --> 00:18:59.417
to go actually on it.

00:18:59.417 --> 00:19:01.999
Because you\'\'re not
in a comfortable state.

00:19:01.999 --> 00:19:03.792
So, when you\'\'re not comfortable,

00:19:03.792 --> 00:19:05.999
I believe that people
can see it.

00:19:05.999 --> 00:19:13.166
It\'\'s hard to try to keep
some kind of positive attitude.

00:19:13.166 --> 00:19:16.583
It\'\'s very, very difficult.

00:19:16.583 --> 00:19:20.250
People can kinda feel it
when you talk

00:19:20.250 --> 00:19:24.417
and how you speak
and I dunno,

00:19:24.417 --> 00:19:29.959
but I couldn\'\'t find a job
and I didn\'\'t find a job

00:19:29.959 --> 00:19:30.625
for four years.

00:19:30.625 --> 00:19:33.999
It just wasn\'\'t coming
and I found out

00:19:33.999 --> 00:19:37.500
that I wasn\'\'t the only one
in that condition

00:19:37.500 --> 00:19:39.667
and in that position,
that there was just work

00:19:39.667 --> 00:19:42.875
for no one and it was
the sign of the times

00:19:42.875 --> 00:19:50.709
that when that all started,
2009, 2010, \'\'11.

00:19:50.709 --> 00:19:53.208
Right, I went to college.

00:19:53.208 --> 00:19:56.583
I have a business certificate,
a medical billing certificate,

00:19:56.583 --> 00:20:01.250
a cosmetology license,
but I still ended up here.

00:20:01.250 --> 00:20:04.500
My house burned down in 2007

00:20:04.500 --> 00:20:08.792
and I\'\'ve been homeless
ever since.

00:20:08.792 --> 00:20:10.625
People tell you,
\"If you do this

00:20:10.625 --> 00:20:12.999
and you do that,
you\'\'ll be okay,\"

00:20:12.999 --> 00:20:15.999
but that\'\'s not necessarily true.

00:20:27.125 --> 00:20:32.208
My name is Michael Leininger,
I\'\'m gonna be 61 this month.

00:20:32.208 --> 00:20:35.625
Theater was my focus
in college and I did

00:20:35.625 --> 00:20:38.500
some professional acting
and my last job

00:20:38.500 --> 00:20:41.333
was working for
a professional theater.

00:20:41.333 --> 00:20:45.166
I\'\'ve been HIV-positive
for about 25 years

00:20:45.166 --> 00:20:51.959
and my health has gone up
and down and took a dive

00:20:51.959 --> 00:20:56.500
and I was calling in sick a lot
and so they laid me off.

00:20:57.375 --> 00:21:00.291
The day that they called me in
and they let me go,

00:21:00.291 --> 00:21:05.917
it was just...broke my heart.

00:21:05.917 --> 00:21:07.834
And then, financially,
it impacted me.

00:21:07.834 --> 00:21:10.999
I started to fall farther
behind on my rent.

00:21:10.999 --> 00:21:17.999
Every month, I would pay
like $100 less than...

00:21:17.999 --> 00:21:19.792
what my rent was.

00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:25.166
I was stupid about homeless.

00:21:25.166 --> 00:21:27.375
I just didn\'\'t have a clue.

00:21:27.375 --> 00:21:31.917
Didn\'\'t ever see myself there,
couldn\'\'t really relate.

00:21:31.917 --> 00:21:36.999
I think I had as much of an
attitude about homeless people

00:21:36.999 --> 00:21:42.375
as all having mental issues
as I\'\'ve encountered

00:21:42.375 --> 00:21:43.000
from other people.

00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:47.125
It\'\'s not something
I would wish on my worst enemy.

00:21:52.999 --> 00:21:56.375
I think the misconception
is that people say,

00:21:56.375 --> 00:21:57.709
\"Just go get a job.\"

00:21:57.709 --> 00:21:58.999
\"I work, why can\'\'t you?\"

00:21:58.999 --> 00:22:00.917
It\'\'s not that easy.

00:22:00.917 --> 00:22:02.208
They\'\'re like,
\"Just go get a job.\"

00:22:02.208 --> 00:22:04.333
You\'\'re viewed as
you don\'\'t want to work.

00:22:04.333 --> 00:22:10.041
But, I mean, I don\'\'t know
if those people

00:22:10.041 --> 00:22:13.208
have ever worked
just to turn

00:22:13.208 --> 00:22:15.625
your whole paycheck
over to rent.

00:22:15.625 --> 00:22:17.999
At the bank,
I make $12 an hour.

00:22:17.999 --> 00:22:19.250
I made $21 an hour.

00:22:19.250 --> 00:22:22.000
I can tell you
I can\'\'t live off that.

00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:24.041
You can go through it
really quickly.

00:22:24.041 --> 00:22:27.999
Just because the rent
is so out of control

00:22:27.999 --> 00:22:31.458
you cannot have one income
and pay rent,

00:22:31.458 --> 00:22:34.500
especially
in southern California--

00:22:34.500 --> 00:22:36.583
I became homeless
while I was working.

00:22:36.583 --> 00:22:37.667
I can\'\'t afford to live.

00:22:37.667 --> 00:22:39.583
I\'\'ve tried it,
I\'\'m living proof

00:22:39.583 --> 00:22:41.625
it is virtually impossible.

00:22:41.625 --> 00:22:43.542
I can\'\'t do it.

00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:47.667
Um...

00:22:47.667 --> 00:22:50.250
in the future, I...

00:22:50.250 --> 00:22:52.333
I want stability.

00:22:52.333 --> 00:22:54.125
I want to be able
to hold my own.

00:22:54.125 --> 00:22:58.333
I want to be able
for my daughter to be able

00:22:58.333 --> 00:23:02.500
to depend on me
for anything and everything.

00:23:02.500 --> 00:23:05.458
She told me
my first day of work,

00:23:05.458 --> 00:23:06.999
I came back,
I picked her up,

00:23:06.999 --> 00:23:08.999
I\'\'m like, she\'\'s like,
\"You went to work?\"

00:23:08.999 --> 00:23:10.333
I\'\'m like,
\"Yeah, I went to work.\"

00:23:10.333 --> 00:23:12.999
She\'\'s like, \"Okay,
where\'\'s the money?\"

00:23:12.999 --> 00:23:16.125
I\'\'m like, \"You don\'\'t
get money every day.\"

00:23:16.125 --> 00:23:17.834
She\'\'s like, \"Why? You work.\"

00:23:17.834 --> 00:23:20.999
I\'\'m like, \"No, you have
to work a whole 14 days.\"

00:23:20.999 --> 00:23:23.625
She\'\'s like, \"Well,
that\'\'s day one.\"

00:23:23.625 --> 00:23:26.000
My baby\'\'s counting.

00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:27.667
Yeah.

00:23:32.500 --> 00:23:37.999
My name is Leighanne Clark,
I\'\'m 36 years old.

00:23:37.999 --> 00:23:39.458
My interests?

00:23:39.458 --> 00:23:41.834
Film and criminal justice,
which I know

00:23:41.834 --> 00:23:44.959
is a weird combination,
but that\'\'s what I like

00:23:44.959 --> 00:23:47.999
and that\'\'s what
my degrees are in.

00:23:47.999 --> 00:23:50.834
I have two B.A.s,
one in Criminal Justice,

00:23:50.834 --> 00:23:51.750
one in Theater.

00:23:51.750 --> 00:23:54.458
I have two A.A.s,
one in Social Work,

00:23:54.458 --> 00:23:55.875
one in Liberal Arts,

00:23:55.875 --> 00:23:59.999
and eventually, I wanna get
my Ph. D. in Criminal Justice.

00:23:59.999 --> 00:24:04.709
My family comes from,
I guess you could call,

00:24:04.709 --> 00:24:06.041
lower class.

00:24:06.041 --> 00:24:08.458
Things happened in the house
and eventually,

00:24:08.458 --> 00:24:11.166
I was shipped off to Ohio
to keep from them

00:24:11.166 --> 00:24:12.999
getting in trouble.

00:24:12.999 --> 00:24:15.959
I became a foster kid in Ohio

00:24:15.959 --> 00:24:17.750
and I bounced around a lot.

00:24:17.750 --> 00:24:21.000
There\'\'s a joke that I was in
over 100 placements

00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:25.750
between the age of 13 and 18.

00:24:25.750 --> 00:24:28.166
I learned how to survive
the hard way.

00:24:28.166 --> 00:24:31.375
Detention centers, group homes,

00:24:31.375 --> 00:24:35.667
you learn to survive
in those environments.

00:24:35.667 --> 00:24:39.999
This time around,
I became homeless

00:24:39.999 --> 00:24:43.999
on July 7th, 2012.

00:24:43.999 --> 00:24:47.125
I\'\'ve yet to make it
to middle class,

00:24:47.125 --> 00:24:49.291
but one day, maybe.

00:24:54.333 --> 00:24:57.375
A lot of people I know,
including myself,

00:24:57.375 --> 00:24:57.999
it\'\'s like--

00:24:57.999 --> 00:25:00.999
I had always taken pride
in doing all of it by myself.

00:25:00.999 --> 00:25:02.333
It\'\'s hard to ask for help.

00:25:02.333 --> 00:25:03.417
I can\'\'t ask people for stuff.

00:25:03.417 --> 00:25:06.333
There are people
that don\'\'t want any help.

00:25:06.333 --> 00:25:07.999
It\'\'s like they\'\'re
too proud to beg.

00:25:07.999 --> 00:25:09.583
They do, but they\'\'re
too ashamed.

00:25:09.583 --> 00:25:13.999
I can\'\'t ask people for money,
I can\'\'t beg people for money.

00:25:13.999 --> 00:25:14.667
I don\'\'t do that.

00:25:14.667 --> 00:25:17.291
I don\'\'t wanna say,
\"Can I borrow some money?\"

00:25:17.291 --> 00:25:20.000
I\'\'m not the type of person
that can stand on the side

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:20.999
of the freeway.

00:25:20.999 --> 00:25:25.083
Put my hand out, ask for help.

00:25:25.083 --> 00:25:28.709
My experience in
not having money,

00:25:28.709 --> 00:25:33.999
it caused people to do things
they wouldn\'\'t normally do

00:25:33.999 --> 00:25:35.625
as far as--

00:25:35.625 --> 00:25:39.709
You just have to do things
that you never thought

00:25:39.709 --> 00:25:41.291
you would do.

00:25:41.291 --> 00:25:47.834
Things that you never thought
that you would do...

00:25:47.834 --> 00:25:49.542
you have to do
so that your kids

00:25:49.542 --> 00:25:53.083
can go to school every day
and not be hungry

00:25:53.083 --> 00:26:01.125
and be okay, you know,
things like, for an example,

00:26:01.125 --> 00:26:01.999
panhandling.

00:26:01.999 --> 00:26:07.375
I\'\'ve had to ask people...
for help.

00:26:07.375 --> 00:26:09.667
For money, food.

00:26:09.667 --> 00:26:12.500
I never thought
that I would have to panhandle.

00:26:12.500 --> 00:26:14.999
On a freeway with a sign
in my hands.

00:26:14.999 --> 00:26:16.583
It\'\'s really degrading and--

00:26:16.583 --> 00:26:19.291
But I need it
to feed my children,

00:26:19.291 --> 00:26:24.333
to put gas in the car,
to get them to school,

00:26:24.333 --> 00:26:26.000
to buy them shoes.

00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:30.917
Definitely took
a toll on my ego

00:26:30.917 --> 00:26:33.999
and...

00:26:33.999 --> 00:26:37.999
that in turn...

00:26:37.999 --> 00:26:40.959
kinda...

00:26:40.959 --> 00:26:43.291
kinda made me give up
on myself as far

00:26:43.291 --> 00:26:46.000
as getting off the streets.

00:26:48.959 --> 00:26:53.999
Didn\'\'t like the way
I was living or live,

00:26:53.999 --> 00:27:03.000
but sometimes it just feels
like there\'\'s no way out.

00:27:04.583 --> 00:27:07.999
A lot of times, there isn\'\'t.

00:27:12.999 --> 00:27:15.333
Well...

00:27:15.333 --> 00:27:18.375
I went and stood on a corner

00:27:18.375 --> 00:27:20.417
and I wrote a sign that said,

00:27:20.417 --> 00:27:24.291
\"Things aren\'\'t always
as they appear.\"

00:27:26.999 --> 00:27:27.999
Now, I told the Lord,
I said,

00:27:27.999 --> 00:27:30.333
\"Lord, all I want
is enough for gas money.

00:27:30.333 --> 00:27:32.542
That\'\'s all I want,
just give me enough

00:27:32.542 --> 00:27:35.999
for some gas money.\"

00:27:35.999 --> 00:27:42.333
But I held up my sign,
I had my big sunglasses on,

00:27:42.333 --> 00:27:44.999
and I don\'\'t fit the profile
of being homeless.

00:27:44.999 --> 00:27:47.999
Someone told me
I have a $150 haircut

00:27:47.999 --> 00:27:50.208
and nice glasses.

00:27:52.083 --> 00:27:57.083
And...I tried to hold up
the sign the next day

00:27:57.083 --> 00:28:00.709
and I couldn\'\'t,
my body wouldn\'\'t let me.

00:28:03.750 --> 00:28:07.500
Now, I don\'\'t tell people
that I stay in PATH.

00:28:07.500 --> 00:28:09.834
I\'\'m gonna say,
\"Oh, I stay at People

00:28:09.834 --> 00:28:10.917
Assisting The Homeless.\"

00:28:10.917 --> 00:28:15.834
Why, because even
at work at my job,

00:28:15.834 --> 00:28:19.999
they ask me,
\"Where do you live?\"

00:28:19.999 --> 00:28:22.999
And I lie.

00:28:22.999 --> 00:28:24.083
That\'\'s bad, huh?

00:28:24.083 --> 00:28:28.000
But I lie, I make up a whole...

00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:30.999
it\'\'s a different story
to a different person.

00:28:30.999 --> 00:28:35.999
They\'\'re gonna figure it out
one day that...

00:28:35.999 --> 00:28:37.625
\"She said she lives in Gardena,\"

00:28:37.625 --> 00:28:40.250
\"She said she lives in Compton.\"

00:28:40.250 --> 00:28:45.250
But I just don\'\'t want everybody
looking at me like,

00:28:45.250 --> 00:28:46.250
\"Oh, you\'\'re homeless.\"

00:28:46.250 --> 00:28:47.709
Or feel pity for me.

00:28:47.709 --> 00:28:51.709
I hate that, I really hate pity

00:28:51.709 --> 00:28:54.417
because it\'\'s different
from compassion.

00:28:54.417 --> 00:28:56.041
When we have compassion
for somebody,

00:28:56.041 --> 00:28:57.792
we feel for them,
you know what I\'\'m saying?

00:28:57.792 --> 00:29:02.999
Pity is like,
\"I wouldn\'\'t wanna be you.\"

00:29:02.999 --> 00:29:04.375
You know what I mean?

00:29:04.375 --> 00:29:06.999
That\'\'s why I don\'\'t tell people,
\"Oh, I\'\'m homeless.\"

00:29:06.999 --> 00:29:07.999
And I tell my daughter,

00:29:07.999 --> 00:29:09.999
\"If somebody asks you
where you live,

00:29:09.999 --> 00:29:12.709
you say, \'\'With my mommy.\'\'

00:29:12.709 --> 00:29:14.375
Or you say,
\'\'I live with my mommy.\'\'

00:29:14.375 --> 00:29:16.959
You don\'\'t have to tell them,
\'\'I live in a homeless shelter,\'\'

00:29:16.959 --> 00:29:20.166
or \'\'I live here,
I live there,\'\' you know?

00:29:20.166 --> 00:29:22.542
Or I move here, here,
live with my mommy.

00:29:22.542 --> 00:29:25.792
Wherever my mommy is,
that\'\'s where I live,\"

00:29:25.792 --> 00:29:27.542
and she\'\'s at home right now.

00:29:27.542 --> 00:29:34.500
So, technically
that\'\'s not lying, is it?

00:29:42.208 --> 00:29:46.250
The neighborhood
that we lived in was--

00:29:46.250 --> 00:29:47.792
I basically grew up in--

00:29:47.792 --> 00:29:51.542
I grew up in a gang-related
environment.

00:29:51.542 --> 00:29:54.667
There was a lot
of gangs everywhere.

00:29:54.667 --> 00:29:55.875
Nothing but gangs.

00:29:55.875 --> 00:29:57.166
Gang members in the streets

00:29:57.166 --> 00:29:59.999
and still gang members
to this day there.

00:29:59.999 --> 00:30:05.999
Where everything around you
was either graffiti, drugs,

00:30:05.999 --> 00:30:07.834
or violence.

00:30:07.834 --> 00:30:09.417
I live around a lot
of violence.

00:30:09.417 --> 00:30:11.834
Lot of violence in my community.

00:30:13.750 --> 00:30:15.583
I live around a lot of drugs.

00:30:15.583 --> 00:30:19.542
There\'\'s a lot of drug activity
in the streets.

00:30:19.542 --> 00:30:22.834
I mean, a lot of drugs.

00:30:22.834 --> 00:30:25.125
Outside my home--

00:30:25.125 --> 00:30:26.999
I\'\'d hear a lot of gunshots.

00:30:26.999 --> 00:30:29.417
We got a lot of shooting
in the area.

00:30:29.417 --> 00:30:32.999
There\'\'s homicides
and killings every day.

00:30:32.999 --> 00:30:35.458
So many people were either
getting killed or hurt.

00:30:35.458 --> 00:30:37.709
You\'\'d see people just,
you know, run across

00:30:37.709 --> 00:30:40.375
your yard and then get shot
and you\'\'d just see them

00:30:40.375 --> 00:30:41.999
fall down and die.

00:30:42.583 --> 00:30:47.417
To me, we\'\'re more like
a bunch of crabs in a bucket

00:30:47.417 --> 00:30:50.709
and we\'\'d pull each other down.

00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:57.417
My husband--

00:30:57.417 --> 00:30:58.041
My dad--

00:30:58.041 --> 00:30:58.917
My boyfriend--

00:30:58.917 --> 00:31:01.208
One of my cousins,
a close cousin of mine--

00:31:01.208 --> 00:31:03.959
He was, he was shot.

00:31:03.959 --> 00:31:04.542
Twice.

00:31:04.542 --> 00:31:05.166
Eight times.

00:31:05.166 --> 00:31:05.792
Six times.

00:31:05.792 --> 00:31:07.750
In my shoulder, in my leg.

00:31:07.750 --> 00:31:08.999
By a gang member.

00:31:08.999 --> 00:31:10.125
By LAPD.

00:31:10.125 --> 00:31:12.083
This officer shot him 26 times.

00:31:12.083 --> 00:31:14.458
Thought I was a gang member,
I wasn\'\'t,

00:31:14.458 --> 00:31:15.999
but I looked the part.

00:31:15.999 --> 00:31:19.291
And he got hit in the crossfire.

00:31:19.291 --> 00:31:22.166
He got killed on the streets.

00:31:22.166 --> 00:31:23.542
On the 21st of this month.

00:31:23.542 --> 00:31:26.667
One shot to the head
and a few hours later,

00:31:26.667 --> 00:31:29.625
I got a call
that he passed away.

00:31:33.208 --> 00:31:36.041
That was pretty shocking.

00:31:37.709 --> 00:31:39.375
So.

00:31:40.041 --> 00:31:40.999
So.

00:31:40.999 --> 00:31:42.959
He was 15 years old.

00:31:46.208 --> 00:31:48.458
After that had happened,

00:31:48.458 --> 00:31:50.125
it was like everything stopped.

00:31:50.125 --> 00:31:51.458
I couldn\'\'t cope.

00:31:51.458 --> 00:31:53.667
I just could not function.

00:31:53.667 --> 00:31:56.375
That was four
and a half years ago

00:31:56.375 --> 00:31:58.041
and it still breaks me down.

00:31:58.041 --> 00:31:59.375
So.

00:32:01.625 --> 00:32:02.792
Yeah.

00:32:06.166 --> 00:32:07.999
So.

00:32:12.999 --> 00:32:15.458
I had my own way
of escaping everything.

00:32:15.458 --> 00:32:20.625
It\'\'s called an MP3
and a great pair of headphones.

00:32:20.625 --> 00:32:21.792
You can tune everybody out.

00:32:21.792 --> 00:32:24.792
You see me every day,
I have a pair of headphones

00:32:24.792 --> 00:32:25.834
in my ear.

00:32:25.834 --> 00:32:26.542
Why?

00:32:26.542 --> 00:32:29.542
I don\'\'t wanna hear
all the negativity

00:32:29.542 --> 00:32:30.792
that goes on out here.

00:32:30.792 --> 00:32:33.999
I wanna see things
that\'\'s gonna keep me

00:32:33.999 --> 00:32:36.999
on the straight path.

00:32:36.999 --> 00:32:41.542
Not hear what people
throw at me.

00:32:41.542 --> 00:32:44.999
Keep looking foreword,
keep going forward

00:32:44.999 --> 00:32:47.333
\'\'cause when you detour,
you make left turns

00:32:47.333 --> 00:32:49.000
and right turns.

00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:52.667
Man, it does not get you
to exactly where you wanna go.

00:32:52.667 --> 00:32:55.709
It takes a shortcut
back to hell.

00:32:56.041 --> 00:32:59.375
But then, police relations
with the community

00:32:59.375 --> 00:33:00.999
is all terrible.

00:33:00.999 --> 00:33:04.375
So, it\'\'s like the good guys
is looked at as the bad guys

00:33:04.375 --> 00:33:06.333
and the bad guys is admired.

00:33:06.333 --> 00:33:08.041
Any given day,
you could shoot us.

00:33:08.041 --> 00:33:09.375
Basically over nothing.

00:33:09.375 --> 00:33:11.917
There\'\'s a case
of mistaken identity,

00:33:11.917 --> 00:33:13.291
somebody looks
like somebody else.

00:33:13.291 --> 00:33:15.959
It\'\'ll be on TV,
you\'\'ll get suspension with pay,

00:33:15.959 --> 00:33:17.999
take a vacation and you\'\'ll
be back to work.

00:33:17.999 --> 00:33:20.999
When the real person
that the police is looking for

00:33:20.999 --> 00:33:23.542
is still running
the streets and--

00:33:23.542 --> 00:33:27.500
It\'\'s not safe
and I\'\'m scared to go home.

00:33:27.500 --> 00:33:29.834
You have to be cautious.

00:33:29.834 --> 00:33:31.999
I have to look over my shoulder.

00:33:31.999 --> 00:33:33.458
Walking down the street
to your house.

00:33:33.458 --> 00:33:34.083
Walking in the house.

00:33:34.083 --> 00:33:36.917
To make sure there\'\'s
no one behind me,

00:33:36.917 --> 00:33:38.625
trying to kill me.

00:33:38.625 --> 00:33:40.917
Some days, it feels good
just to be able

00:33:40.917 --> 00:33:42.999
to walk in a house
and not be shot

00:33:42.999 --> 00:33:46.583
or not be harassed
by the police.

00:33:49.999 --> 00:33:52.667
And so, this is all
that I saw

00:33:52.667 --> 00:33:59.291
and this is what I knew
and this is what I became.

00:33:59.291 --> 00:34:07.417
My father was a drug dealer,
he basically dealed marijuana.

00:34:07.417 --> 00:34:10.667
Now that I\'\'m 23, I realize
that I\'\'ve been following

00:34:10.667 --> 00:34:12.709
in my mom\'\'s footsteps and--

00:34:12.709 --> 00:34:15.999
These are the same steps
that I followed

00:34:15.999 --> 00:34:18.792
right behind him.

00:34:18.792 --> 00:34:24.999
At 13 and 14, 10 and 11,
we were selling drugs.

00:34:24.999 --> 00:34:26.458
In and out of jail.

00:34:26.458 --> 00:34:32.625
I think the bottom line
is a lack of education,

00:34:32.625 --> 00:34:38.291
not knowing about opportunities

00:34:38.291 --> 00:34:44.375
and...lack of mentoring.

00:34:47.250 --> 00:34:49.667
Along with the drugs,

00:34:49.667 --> 00:34:51.291
that\'\'s what took me to prison.

00:34:51.291 --> 00:34:52.750
How\'\'s somebody gonna know
how to do something

00:34:52.750 --> 00:34:55.750
or be someone if it hasn\'\'t
been taught to \'\'em.

00:34:55.750 --> 00:34:56.999
It\'\'s like how a rich man
gonna be rich

00:34:56.999 --> 00:34:58.834
unless he learned how
to be rich,

00:34:58.834 --> 00:35:00.250
but if a poor man,
all he know how to do

00:35:00.250 --> 00:35:01.999
is be poor,
then he\'\'s gonna be poor.

00:35:01.999 --> 00:35:04.000
If all he knows how to do
is struggle,

00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:05.166
he\'\'s gonna struggle.

00:35:05.166 --> 00:35:07.417
My dad was always at work.

00:35:07.417 --> 00:35:10.959
He worked, he was
an honest working man.

00:35:10.959 --> 00:35:12.999
My dad, he was a truck driver.

00:35:12.999 --> 00:35:15.125
My dad sold car parts.

00:35:15.125 --> 00:35:16.917
He wasn\'\'t there much.

00:35:16.917 --> 00:35:17.999
My father was always gone.

00:35:17.999 --> 00:35:22.959
My dad, he\'\'s in active duty
right now with the Navy.

00:35:22.959 --> 00:35:24.417
My dad fought in two wars.

00:35:24.417 --> 00:35:27.125
He fought in Afghanistan,
he fought in Iraq.

00:35:27.125 --> 00:35:29.999
He always used to say
he was a front line person.

00:35:29.999 --> 00:35:31.999
And it ended up being
the death of him.

00:35:31.999 --> 00:35:33.917
Post traumatic stress
and all of that.

00:35:33.917 --> 00:35:37.625
Because of the residuals
effects of what it did

00:35:37.625 --> 00:35:38.999
to his life.

00:35:38.999 --> 00:35:41.999
After he died, my mom
had to work two jobs.

00:35:41.999 --> 00:35:43.834
Mom always worked.

00:35:43.834 --> 00:35:46.999
She used to have a lot of jobs.

00:35:46.999 --> 00:35:48.000
Two and three jobs.

00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:48.999
She was never around.

00:35:48.999 --> 00:35:50.166
I remember she worked
at a factory

00:35:50.166 --> 00:35:52.458
and when she wasn\'\'t working
in the factory,

00:35:52.458 --> 00:35:55.041
she worked at some
white woman\'\'s house

00:35:55.041 --> 00:35:57.417
as a housekeeper.

00:35:57.417 --> 00:35:59.250
There was a movie out
called The Help,

00:35:59.250 --> 00:36:01.208
my mom was one of those women.

00:36:01.208 --> 00:36:06.291
She worked in somebody\'\'s house

00:36:06.291 --> 00:36:10.583
and it was...

00:36:10.583 --> 00:36:11.000
it was me--

00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:13.959
Pretty much, I was raised
by my sisters and brothers.

00:36:13.959 --> 00:36:16.709
--basically taking care
of my younger brothers

00:36:16.709 --> 00:36:17.834
and sisters.

00:36:17.834 --> 00:36:21.500
I had to raise
two younger brothers

00:36:21.500 --> 00:36:25.125
and go to school
and try to do

00:36:25.125 --> 00:36:28.208
as much as I could.

00:36:28.208 --> 00:36:32.999
Basically, I had to be the mom.

00:36:35.208 --> 00:36:37.458
I think that growing up,
I didn\'\'t really make

00:36:37.458 --> 00:36:40.999
the right choices,
I wasn\'\'t really taught--

00:36:40.999 --> 00:36:45.166
Things that you should learn,
you don\'\'t learn.

00:36:45.166 --> 00:36:49.583
I don\'\'t have the tools.

00:36:49.583 --> 00:36:51.417
I don\'\'t know,
there\'\'s something missing

00:36:51.417 --> 00:36:52.999
in the picture--

00:36:52.999 --> 00:36:54.083
Role models.

00:36:54.083 --> 00:36:55.375
We didn\'\'t have that.

00:36:55.375 --> 00:36:58.208
We had none of that.

00:36:58.208 --> 00:37:01.458
You have to learn firsthand.

00:37:01.458 --> 00:37:02.166
I had to learn everything.

00:37:02.166 --> 00:37:04.041
I had to figure out
a lot of stuff.

00:37:04.041 --> 00:37:06.750
Basically, I\'\'m on my own.

00:37:06.750 --> 00:37:09.999
I kinda had to learn on my own.

00:37:09.999 --> 00:37:11.417
On my own.

00:37:13.125 --> 00:37:16.999
I grew up very, very young.

00:37:16.999 --> 00:37:18.583
It kinda made me stronger,
in a way,

00:37:18.583 --> 00:37:20.792
having to go through
all the situations

00:37:20.792 --> 00:37:22.999
I\'\'d been though
to think, look back

00:37:22.999 --> 00:37:24.417
in my past and say,
\"I went through that,\"

00:37:24.417 --> 00:37:28.625
or I experienced those things
and it kinda makes me like,

00:37:28.625 --> 00:37:30.041
\"Wow, look where I\'\'m at today,

00:37:30.041 --> 00:37:33.375
I\'\'m getting my GED,
I\'\'m doing all this stuff.\"

00:37:33.375 --> 00:37:35.999
So, I think what
doesn\'\'t kill you

00:37:35.999 --> 00:37:37.125
makes you stronger.

00:37:37.125 --> 00:37:43.917
It is hard, it\'\'s real...
it\'\'s hard just for me

00:37:43.917 --> 00:37:44.291
as myself.

00:37:44.291 --> 00:37:46.625
I consider myself
being strong-minded

00:37:46.625 --> 00:37:48.999
that I just sometimes
I just wanna give up,

00:37:48.999 --> 00:37:52.041
but I can\'\'t
\'\'cause I have two kids

00:37:52.041 --> 00:37:55.999
that are looking up
at me and I wanna be

00:37:55.999 --> 00:37:58.999
a good role model for them, so.

00:38:05.458 --> 00:38:07.917
Okay, my name is Billy Counts.

00:38:07.917 --> 00:38:13.083
Right now,
I\'\'m currently living...

00:38:13.083 --> 00:38:16.709
in a homeless shelter, I guess.

00:38:16.709 --> 00:38:18.291
It\'\'s a pretty nice place, too.

00:38:18.291 --> 00:38:22.834
After 18 years in prison,
I\'\'m restarting my life

00:38:22.834 --> 00:38:23.917
all over again.

00:38:23.917 --> 00:38:28.999
So, I\'\'m trying to make
the best out of life

00:38:28.999 --> 00:38:30.250
that I have left.

00:38:30.250 --> 00:38:35.999
Two weeks ago, I completed
an Associate\'\'s Degree

00:38:35.999 --> 00:38:39.417
in Biblical Studies.

00:38:39.417 --> 00:38:43.208
These opportunities
have given me hope,

00:38:43.208 --> 00:38:48.583
what I didn\'\'t previously have
when I came out of prison,

00:38:48.583 --> 00:38:49.792
but the past...

00:38:49.792 --> 00:38:57.166
the Board of Prison Terms
asked me a question and that was

00:38:57.166 --> 00:39:01.959
how do I feel about
getting let out of prison.

00:39:01.959 --> 00:39:07.250
And I told them,
\"I\'\'m scared to death.\"

00:39:08.750 --> 00:39:13.917
But if they open the door,
I\'\'m going.

00:39:13.917 --> 00:39:16.917
And they opened the door.

00:39:21.959 --> 00:39:23.208
Um...as far as,

00:39:23.208 --> 00:39:24.999
the reason why I\'\'m not
really into politics,

00:39:24.999 --> 00:39:27.750
I don\'\'t really think
that anybody

00:39:27.750 --> 00:39:29.999
would really listen to me.

00:39:29.999 --> 00:39:31.792
First, we gotta get
acknowledged.

00:39:31.792 --> 00:39:32.542
I mean, come on.

00:39:32.542 --> 00:39:34.166
Obama\'\'s just worried
about the middle class

00:39:34.166 --> 00:39:36.000
and the upper class
and the lower class don\'\'t exist

00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:39.709
and as long as we don\'\'t exist,
it\'\'s just...will continue

00:39:39.709 --> 00:39:40.333
to be the way it is.

00:39:40.333 --> 00:39:42.917
We\'\'re invisible,
people don\'\'t wanna see us.

00:39:42.917 --> 00:39:45.125
They see us,
but they don\'\'t wanna see us.

00:39:45.125 --> 00:39:46.750
They don\'\'t wanna believe
that we exist

00:39:46.750 --> 00:39:50.999
or they just wanna believe
that we deserve to be out here.

00:39:50.999 --> 00:39:52.542
\"Oh, they just wanna
be on welfare,\"

00:39:52.542 --> 00:39:54.959
\"Oh, they just wanna
live on food stamps.\"

00:39:54.959 --> 00:39:58.875
They assume that we
just wanna live this life.

00:40:00.625 --> 00:40:03.999
A lot of the people
who do know the neighborhoods

00:40:03.999 --> 00:40:06.125
and do know how to fix
what\'\'s going on

00:40:06.125 --> 00:40:09.417
in the neighborhoods,
their voices do not get heard.

00:40:09.417 --> 00:40:11.333
Like, my mom,
when she had her house,

00:40:11.333 --> 00:40:13.959
she would just sit out
on the porch all day

00:40:13.959 --> 00:40:18.999
after she retired her day care
and she knew all the people

00:40:18.999 --> 00:40:20.166
walking by.

00:40:20.166 --> 00:40:21.542
She had a garden
in her backyard,

00:40:21.542 --> 00:40:24.583
so she would pass out
fruits and vegetables

00:40:24.583 --> 00:40:26.625
to the women at the bus stop
with the kids

00:40:26.625 --> 00:40:28.375
that were coming over
after the kids got out

00:40:28.375 --> 00:40:31.208
of the elementary that was
right across the street.

00:40:31.208 --> 00:40:34.291
She would speak to every wino
that walked by,

00:40:34.291 --> 00:40:37.625
every drug dealer,
every prostitute,

00:40:37.625 --> 00:40:40.959
every person
from every walk of life

00:40:40.959 --> 00:40:42.667
that\'\'s in that neighborhood

00:40:42.667 --> 00:40:45.667
she knew on
a name-to-name basis.

00:40:45.667 --> 00:40:47.999
So, it\'\'s those type
of people that you need

00:40:47.999 --> 00:40:53.458
to talk to that can offer you
an opinion about what\'\'s going on

00:40:53.458 --> 00:40:57.208
in that neighborhood
and how to fix it.

00:40:57.208 --> 00:41:01.250
When Occupy came to Oakland,
I went downtown Broadway

00:41:01.250 --> 00:41:03.333
and I\'\'m not bragging,
but I\'\'m telling you,

00:41:03.333 --> 00:41:05.750
I went down there
and I said, \"Occupy?

00:41:05.750 --> 00:41:07.625
Before you came,
these young black people

00:41:07.625 --> 00:41:12.583
were hanging out downtown
looking for a safe place to be

00:41:12.583 --> 00:41:15.709
without being harassed
by the police.\"

00:41:15.709 --> 00:41:17.250
They were here.

00:41:17.250 --> 00:41:19.959
I asked Occupy to go
to East Oakland

00:41:19.959 --> 00:41:24.083
and show some interest
in these neighborhoods.

00:41:24.083 --> 00:41:27.667
Don\'\'t just go making
a nice environment for you

00:41:27.667 --> 00:41:31.917
and explain to the people
this is our neighborhood.

00:41:31.917 --> 00:41:33.458
Don\'\'t go gentrifying.

00:41:33.458 --> 00:41:34.999
Say this is our neighborhood.

00:41:34.999 --> 00:41:36.999
We\'\'re a part of this,
let\'\'s make

00:41:36.999 --> 00:41:39.083
this beautiful together.

00:41:45.999 --> 00:41:48.542
People call people that don\'\'t
have a lot of money

00:41:48.542 --> 00:41:51.375
or not that much money,
people call them--

00:41:51.375 --> 00:41:52.125
Worthless.

00:41:52.125 --> 00:41:52.999
Bums.

00:41:52.999 --> 00:41:53.458
Non-entities.

00:41:53.458 --> 00:41:54.999
You\'\'re at the bottom
of the barrel.

00:41:54.999 --> 00:41:56.083
Lowest of the low.

00:41:56.083 --> 00:41:57.999
You don\'\'t count.

00:41:57.999 --> 00:41:59.999
Not having enough money
and being poor

00:41:59.999 --> 00:42:05.875
makes you feel
just like you\'\'re trash.

00:42:05.999 --> 00:42:10.417
You\'\'re looked at differently,
you\'\'re treated differently,

00:42:10.417 --> 00:42:18.083
and it\'\'s...hard not to see that.

00:42:18.083 --> 00:42:19.792
You see that
on other people\'\'s faces

00:42:19.792 --> 00:42:20.999
and peoples eyes.

00:42:20.999 --> 00:42:22.083
People wanna avert their eyes.

00:42:22.083 --> 00:42:25.959
They look at you
like you\'\'re nothing.

00:42:25.959 --> 00:42:27.125
It starts to work on you.

00:42:27.125 --> 00:42:29.291
It takes a toll on your spirit.

00:42:29.291 --> 00:42:30.458
People spiritually die.

00:42:30.458 --> 00:42:32.709
It kills one\'\'s spirit.

00:42:32.709 --> 00:42:36.417
Each day that I\'\'m out here,
my spirit gets torn down

00:42:36.417 --> 00:42:40.417
little by little,
little by little.

00:42:44.999 --> 00:42:47.083
I don\'\'t know if anybody\'\'s
ever just looked at me

00:42:47.083 --> 00:42:53.999
and just said, \"You\'\'re poor
and so you\'\'re a loser.\"

00:42:53.999 --> 00:42:55.500
Although, I\'\'m sure
there are people

00:42:55.500 --> 00:42:56.999
that have thought that.

00:42:59.667 --> 00:43:02.500
You\'\'ve thought it!