WEBVTT

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[music]

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[music]

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[music]

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Okay. Here\'s the problem with DCIS.

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You\'re not allowed to take notes. I
want to write a whole lot of stuff.

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You can take notes if you want, but you can\'t, because when
people are taking notes they\'re two sentences behind you.

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That\'s my dad. He was a psychiatrist,
he just died recently.

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Yeah we\'re worried that cancer cells
are out there. We have to use

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whole-body treatment and tumor cells
that are running around your body

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whether it\'s ten of them or 10,000
of them do not make a symptom.

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There is no blood test and they don\'t show up
on a scan. Can you tell me why I got this?

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Is it just because I\'m older? Well, it does increase
with age, but if I could tell you why you got this

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I will win Nobel Prize. Yeah, you would.
I had vegetarians that come here

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and have breast cancer. I mean it\'s an
equal opportunity disease. I have people

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that are Pilates teachers
and yoga fanatics. I mean

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you can\'t think of it as anything you did.
And real healthy food,

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nuts have it too. Yeah, of course. You know
you have a cancer that you can\'t die from,

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and I\'m going to explain that
to you in really good detail.

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The only way people die from breast cancer is if
it leaves their breast and goes somewhere else.

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And the kind you have doesn\'t know
how to do that, it\'s just stupid.

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Well, because you hear of women
just doing radical mastectomies

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and stuff because they just want peace of mind, because
they\'re they\'re getting the wrong peace of mind.

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I am going to show you that. They\'re thinking the wrong
thing. They\'re thinking that\'s going to save their life.

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I\'m going to show you that a mastectomy doesn\'t save
your life. There is no such thing as a normal mammogram.

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It\'s not like your blood sugar or your cholesterol
where there\'s a number and the whole world\'s supposed

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to have the same number. This is just a picture,
it\'s not scientific at all. So it\'ll be okay for me

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to go on the mission trip next week and maybe All
right, absolutely. Maybe soon after that I can do it.

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Absolutely. Okay, good. You always
have to do all good things,

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because and this is a crude way of saying it, but if you\'re not going
to die from this, another week isn\'t going to make any difference;

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if you are going to die from it, then you
definitely should do some good things, okay.

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You have like an old lady cancer, because it\'s
small, it\'s well-differentiated it\'s positive for

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You\'ve done so much for my ego today.
No, this is what you want to have.

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The pathologist call it a bridge club cancer. It
gives me a lot of peace. Good peace is important.

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It\'s the most important thing, because
this is something that you don\'t have

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control over so you need to have peace.

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Yeah we\'re just going to talk,

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I\'m not going to do anything, I promise.
I had a partial mastectomy

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and a lumpectomy, one of each. One of each.

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And I had my last radiation
treatment also in July.

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Okay, okay.

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Yes, yeah. Okay, thank you,

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all right. I\'m going to put
this next to you okay,

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and Dr. Schnaper will be in shortly. Okay, thank
you. You\'re very welcome. It was nice to meet you.

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It was nice meeting you. All right, tell
me the reason that she want mastectomies.

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Last mammogram that I had which
was in June they found something

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and I just want it out of my system.

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I don\'t want to worry about it anymore.
Okay, the issue with you know

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it\'s been a long time since you\'ve been treated and you\'ve heard from a
lot of different doctors. Yes. The issue with prophylactic mastectomies

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is it doesn\'t keep you from
dying of breast cancer. Okay.

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The issue of dying from breast cancer
isn\'t having it comeback in your breast

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it\'s having a comeback somewhere much more
important. If you\'re doing this to feel secure and

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It\'s a next Dr Snapper.
I don\'t want to feel.

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I am girly girl. I am clearly
feminine and I want to look

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as close to possible of being that person.
Well, they\'re reconstructing nipple,

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and reconstructed nipples look fine. I mean
that\'s what we\'ve been doing for a long time.

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Okay. This was from the first surrendering.
I don\'t know if you can see.

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See how it\'s all pushed over.

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The nipple is distorted,
it\'s going this way.

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I mean you can see the
difference in that one.

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Yeah, it\'s normal. And that\'s the lumpectomy he did
here. Well, that was fine. That was fine, but this,

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it\'s horrible. She had reasons,

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several reasons for this.
One of the reasons is

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her fear of recurrence, but the other
reason I\'m sure is the deformed.

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And that\'s pretty common actually. And it\'s
not she may not even be conscious of it.

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The two reasons sometimes
just get intermingled

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and people don\'t even realize
how they feel about it.

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This is Dr. Slezak. This is Doris Doyle and
Randy. Nice to meet you. Hi. Nice to meet you.

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I just feel like why me why have them,

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you know what I mean, why go through this.
Jesus done you wrong.

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He had. Give me the fake ones, the real
one is trying to kill me basically.

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So when they do mastectomy, they go here usually taking the
nipple and just core out this is like the inside of an orange,

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and then we would raise up this muscle, pectoralis
muscle, we do something called an AlloDern sling

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to span the distance from
there down to the fall

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and then put the implant or
tissue expander behind that.

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So generally when people want to be bigger, we use a tissue
expander first. So this is much like a water balloon.

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We put it in at the time of surgery
there, we fill it halfway full

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and then you come back to the office
and we find that with a magnet,

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this little cord here, we stick a needle in there and
keep blowing and until you\'re the size you want to be,

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and that stretches out that skin which
we particularly need to do in you,

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and allows you to go bigger
than what our are needed.

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Well, we\'re booked at Fort Lauderdale for
an year, so we have to be ready to go.

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I wish that long. For a week. The
pressure is on. Yeah, the pressure is on.

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Can I give you a hug? No. I
wear a big sign that says,

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don\'t hug the surgeon. Nice meeting Dr.
Schnaper, no hugs,

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but you can give a shake. Yeah your
other hand, I am not touching that.

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We wear two pairs of gloves.

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This is protection by wearing two sets
in case you get stuck by a needle.

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Isn\'t that a lot of gloves what Halsted.

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He did. Halsted invented rubber gloves; Halsted
invented almost all of modern surgery.

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It wasn\'t just the glove that was making
sterility in the entire operating room.

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I mean he just he did it all.
And it just shows you

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that you can be high and really have some
insights. So I always when I lecture to the kids,

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I always say to them, don\'t let your parents tell you doing
drugs is bad because Dr. Halsted invented all of surgery

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and he was a lifelong
cocaine and heroin addict.

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The standard operation for cancer to breast
was described by Dr. William S. Halsted,

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the first Professor of Surgery at Johns Hopkins.
In the fill, in the slide on the screen,

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you see the skin incision outlined.

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The second step was the removal of the
underlying muscle. The third step

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consisted in the removal of the fat and lymph
nodes in the armpit, and in the fourth part

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was removal of the breast, the muscle,
the fat and the ancillary gland

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in one piece. This moving picture shows
determinations of a radical operation

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for cancer of the breast. Now I just need

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to say this one last thing about it. When
it comes to the GBMC in your breast cancer,

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you don\'t need to lose the breast. Why do
you keep trying to get me to say that.

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Because that\'s what you said and I
remember it. You don\'t have to say

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But it\'s not like you don\'t have to lose the breast,
that\'s a wrong emphasis. The emphasis is it\'s a choice

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and that choice has to
be made from knowledge,

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from education and then what you
choose is the right operation for you,

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but it has to be made from understanding
not from being frightened.

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Most patients when they come in are so frightened,
they just want both her breasts off immediately,

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and it\'s really the surgeon\'s
job to educate them.

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So they end up making a decision for mastectomy, it\'s a
decision that\'s made after they understand the science,

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and the science is we have studies
going way back to the 70s,

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showing that a mastectomy
doesn\'t save your life.

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In pregnancies, how many

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My pregnancy, I was 15. Okay. And my daughter
is around 16. So you have four children.

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Are they boys or girls? They are all girls.

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Wow, oh my goodness, you\'re surrounded.
That\'s so good. (inaudible) estrogen.

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All right, so how about birth control
pills? Never, never took them,

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because my mother died of breast cancer.
Okay. And you were Yeah, she was convinced,

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it was because she tried to the pill for six months, got a lump
and then that was it. And are you good about examining yourself?

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Yeah. I had (inaudible) about it and he\'s
wonderful with helping. I enjoy helping, yeah.

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That\'s right. I always
tell that to patients.

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If you can\'t do that, your
mate and you\'re married

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and what do you teach? I teach school counselors,
mental health counselors, marriage counselors.

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Okay, good. My expertise
is anger and video gaming.

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I am very in touch with my anger. I see
anger as a positive and productive emotion.

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I have a theory actually published in 2008. Oh,
I have to read that. Amazon warrior therapy

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is what it\'s called. The anger
can actually work for you.

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Yes, it\'s what you do, what you choose to do with
that and a lot of us are influenced by the modeling

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of angering from our parents.

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Okay, all right, let\'s start here. Thank you all for being here, I mean obviously you
all have been through a really touch time ever since I called you and told you that

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I\'ve got breast cancer, and the great
news is it is not metastasize at all.

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We\'re going to kick his ass, and if I am
going down, I am not going without fighting.

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That\'s al there\'s to it. And you have health
coverage and are you okay financially?

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Really. Is that a question? We one of better
family, we have to let\'s just talk about it.

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Yeah, I have great healthcare.

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I\'m afraid of all this positive energy,

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because I\'m mad, I am pissed, I am angry, I am negative
and I don\'t like all health talk, I don\'t like it.

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I feel the same way. When mom told me on the
phone, that it was up to God, I was like,

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that\'s what I am worried about,
because God\'s plan is very different

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than mine and with her being tired, I was trying
I can\'t say it. That\'s what I am worried about,

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because you\'re only human and that\'s
why I don\'t want to say anything.

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So thank you for mentioning that, because I\'m
sitting here going, this doesn\'t mean shit,

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because doctors don\'t know shit.

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Halleluiah. Halleluiah.

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Oh my God as we anoint
Sister Sheila right now God.

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Holy Spirit we invite your presence.

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You are the chief physician,
you never lost a case.

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Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord.
In Jesus name. Amen!

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Thank you Lord, Jesus, Halleluiah.

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When they first diagnosed me with the breast cancer
and all of us in my family was sitting in the room,

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and Dr. Schnaper said, this case
is really, really aggressive

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and it\'s going to depend on how much you can handle,
and I looked at her and I said, I can handle it.

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Tomorrow is my surgery. I
know it\'s going to be okay.

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I am so glad you\'re my sister.

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[music]

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I am on my way.

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I got (inaudible)

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You\'re my baby.

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And you\'re my baby too, my baby, baby.

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How old are you baby? Thirty-three.
Okay. You\'re still young.

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Baby, I know. You\'re real you today. Yeah, this is
me. And she is gorgeous person. Oh, she always was.

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This is one of my favorite pictures.

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This is one of the pictures when she was
my modeling. Her name was cinnamon.

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She was beautiful model and tall,
and she was just gorgeous.

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So yeah, she did quite well
in that modeling field.

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She was a person, she would try
and they\'re going to do anything.

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So I just think before she knew it, it was
out of hand. Ever been the victim of abuse?

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Years ago. Any illicit drug use?

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Yes, in the past. Okay.
It\'s been ten years,

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ten years clean. So one
Sunday I went to church

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and somebody was like, and I am looking.

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It was her. Oh, we hugged, we cried
and that was her turning point.

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She stopped coming back to church.

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[music]

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We\'ll wait for the pathology to come
back, because as we look at it closely,

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it looks okay, but she had so
much disease to begin with

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and I\'m worried that all of the edges
including the skin will be positive,

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and if they are, then she\'s going to
need a whole lot more skin removed

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and then we won\'t be able to bring it together
and so we\'ll have to, Dr. Rosson we\'ll have to

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take tissue from your back, muscle from her back
and swing it around to the front to cover it,

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so that she can go get radiation therapy,
and then when everything is done,

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he\'ll fix it all up so it looks pretty, but the
most important thing now is her treatment.

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Hi (inaudible).

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[sil.]

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Come on sweetie. You want
to see the picture of dad.

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Yes, there we are

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and you never knew him. He didn\'t
want a little dog in the apartment.

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My husband was Dr. Edward F. Lewis

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and Ed just did breast work,
and I think somehow when

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was he was doing his research
in breast, he came across

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the Patron Saint of breast diseases.
He got interested in Saint Agatha

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and wrote a monograph of Saint Agatha,
which is the one that I have here.

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I think this is the only copy that
that shows the cover being a picture

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of Saint Agatha and it has
quite a few representations

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of Saint Agatha showing how
her breasts were shorn off

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with pinchers, and the
illustrations were wonderful

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and he had a large number but he could not put them
in his office, because they were a little gory.

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It is in Sicily, then all
of this took place because

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Saint Agatha rejected the advances
of a very, very famous person

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and he got very angry
and he said that since

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she wouldn\'t give him what he wanted that
she would have her breast shorn off.

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[music]

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This is a pathology department and here\'s the
morgue. So you\'re getting the view of really

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the best parts of the hospital.

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You look beautiful. Oh thank you.
I\'m just a slave to fashion.

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[music]

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For Christmas one year, the team
gamey declarations on my light.

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This is my crown. This has been my kingdom

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for a long time and I don\'t intend
to retire, Stephanie, my scrub tech

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and I have a murder suicide pact. Hi Steph.

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Good morning princes. How are you?

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[music]

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I\'m not angry that I have breast cancer,

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but I\'m angry and I\'m about other things
related to that, and so Like what?

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Well, I\'m thinking a lot about my mother and I\'ve
been out on a lot of flashbacks to when she died.

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She died really quickly. She had a hard lump
on our liver and she died eight weeks later.

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She died at home, and I got
suspended from school for drinking

00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.999
on school property. I was 13 years old. So she and I were
home together three days, three whole days, together,

00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:44.999
and I had always thought

00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.999
until now she probably
didn\'t notice she was dying.

00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.999
Now, I know she knew. I know she knew.

00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:59.999
I\'m really pissed off at her. We were together for
three whole day, you couldn\'t have said something,

00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:04.999
you couldn\'t have said, hey, 20 years from
now when you\'re feeling bad about this,

00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:09.999
because I knew something, and she just

00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:14.999
I\'m just really, I am really pissed about that.
So that really drives me at moving forward

00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:19.999
and it really was great until last night kind
of resolved some of that with my children

00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:24.999
and I said, look, okay, let\'s go there.

00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:29.999
I brought Valentine candy for my mother

00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:34.999
and for her nurse who my
mother refers to as her maid.

00:21:35.000 --> 00:21:39.999
Was she more around for you?
No, my mother was the original

00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:44.999
independent woman. My mother,
you\'re talking about 50s,

00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:49.999
early 50s, and she was an opera singer,

00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:54.999
but that\'s what I got from my mother.
I mean she was a free spirit,

00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.999
and my father encouraged it in both of us.

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:04.999
He liked it that we were independent. One
time I hitchhiked across the whole country

00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:09.999
to come home to March in Washington,

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:14.999
and when I came in the house and I came
with a friend, my father gave me such hell

00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:19.999
about hitchhiking and not trusting
people and getting into trouble.

00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:24.999
Usually when I walk in, the first thing
my mother says is comb your hair

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:29.999
or put on lipstick.

00:22:30.000 --> 00:22:34.999
Front desk. Hi. It\'s Mrs.
Schnaper\'s daughter.

00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:39.999
Ho. Come on in. Thanks. Hi mom.

00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:44.999
How are you? Here. How are you doing? Are you
having a good time? I\'m having a wonderful time.

00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:49.999
Is that my Valentine present? Thank
you very much. Happy Valentine\'s Day.

00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:54.999
We are almost he twins.

00:22:55.000 --> 00:22:59.999
And I have a valentine for you too. Oh, what is that? Candy of course.
Oh, look at that. And I have one for Gwynne too. Isn\'t that darling?

00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.999
They are making they\'re making a
movie about the breast center

00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:09.999
and they\'re following a bunch of breast
cancer patients. I\'m getting goosebumps.

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.999
That\'s wonderful. Yes, It is wonderful. And how long has
that been going on? Oh, it\'s been going up for a while,

00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:19.999
like for six, seven months, I mean… It\'s
probably been going on more than a year.

00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:24.999
Oh really. Operation and everything. Yes, we met
a long time ago. Well, how did she get involved?

00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:29.999
How did she get involve? Well, because
she is a very important breast

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:34.999
No, I got involved, because they annoyed the
crap out of me until I said I would do it.

00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:39.999
I put stuff on, a little too much,
but No, I think you look perfect.

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.999
Did you see my maid as you walk in? I saw
Gwynne, yes, she left. Did she go in?

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
Yes, okay. Gwynne left. She went home.

00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.999
And she didn\'t say goodbye.
Hey there kiddo. Thank you.

00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
I want you to see that I got this.
Did you know that I got this?

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
I gave it to you sweetie. Oh, you gave it to me. All right, let me put
it in here and when we go upstairs I\'ll take it upstairs for you.

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
Thank you so much. Hi Doris.

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
How are you? We\'ve got a magnet
here and so we just find it.

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
So what we want to do is go forward
enough that we make it bigger

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
but not enough to pull your muscle and
put you into pain. So we\'ll start seeing

00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
a little cleavage and a little size.

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
How is your stay? Good. How are you? So how was last week, did you feel
it that night? The following day, I was like huh… That\'s how it often is,

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
it\'s like a pulled muscle. And I am ready to
go, I am like… You mean bring more sailing,

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
all right. You see, that\'s bigger.

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
Yeah. Oh, it\'s amazing. You
look wonderful. Hi. Hi.

00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
We are going 60 or 90 today?
What do you want to do? 90.

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
Okay. We have definitely a difference.

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
Don\'t you think honey? Wow. Wow.

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
Well, here she is. How are you?
Flash me and show me.

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
Oh, it\'s looking very good. So what do you think about
the size? I think they\'re good, but I\'d like to go…

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
50, how do you feel?

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
Well… I guess I could go ten more. Well, there\'s
no way Dr. Slezak, I could get more of a cleavage.

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
At least not at this point. Okay.

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
So remember, your breasts were
like 140 grams and these are 400.

00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
So remember, you\'re much
bigger than you were. I know.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
It\'d be great that (inaudible).
Well, sometimes better

00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
is the enemy of good, and good is really
a pretty good thing. At the moment

00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
in the cure of cancer of anyone that
develops one type of this disease

00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
is that there\'d be early detection.

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
Today only 46% of the patients with
cancer the breast are being faded,

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
but in early and properly treated cases,
the rate has been as high as 81%.

00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
Cancer of the breast can be cured.
It can be cured

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
and arrested in several different ways, but
that early detection is a very important thing.

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
Early detection is kind of a myth

00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
that\'s just been perpetuated like
all the other myths in medicine,

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:34.999
and the most famous myth is lead time
bias, and lead time bias is this.

00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.999
You\'ve got two women, woman 1 and
woman 2, and this is the day

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
that their cancer starts. They both
get cancer on the exact same day,

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
okay, and they have the
exact same kind of cancer

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
and then this is the day they
die and they die at year five,

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
okay. So this is death

00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
and this is not detection, this
is origination of the cancer

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
when it\'s born, okay.

00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
So this woman gets screened all the
time, she gets her yearly mammogram

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
and so she finds out about her cancer here,

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
because she\'s getting screened. This
lady is not getting mammograms,

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
so she is not screened and she dies

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
the exact same day, she has the exact
same cancer, the exact same behavior,

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
but it\'s not picked up until here,
because this is picked up on a mammogram

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
and this has picked up as a mass, okay.
So this woman here

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
thinks she lives five years
longer, but she doesn\'t.

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
She lives the exact same time as
this woman here and it might be said

00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
that this woman here has five more years
of anguish than this woman does down here.

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
So that\'s called lead
time bias and that\'s part

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
of the problem with screening mammography. But
don\'t you think that people feel that they control

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
their bodies if they have
more screenings and kind of

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
We\'re not talking about what people feel.
We\'re talking about science.

00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
Anyone that believes
that she may have cancer

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
should certainly go to her doctor immediately
and as you have seen tonight, the pianist,

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
who found that she had the cancer
in her breast was with her doctor

00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
and immediately within 36 hours,
the operation was performed

00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
and she is playing the piano today.

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:53.000
[music]

00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
Having a mammogram detects a cancer
when you can have a small operation

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
and it is true for many cancers

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
that they start small get
bigger and bigger and bigger

00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
and then spread but it\'s not true for all cancers,
because you can have a huge cancer that has no spread

00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
and you can have a tiny cancer that\'s spread all
over the place. So you can\'t ask me a question about

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
why do we get mammography. It\'s complex. You
can\'t answer. It\'s a soundbite. I can\'t answer

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
it in a soundbite.

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
Ah, son of a freaking… oh my God, oh
my god. They\'re in the radio building.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
Fudge. Thank you chief, thank
you, thank you, thank you.

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
We are down one, aren\'t we?
Aren\'t we five to four.

00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
Anything (inaudible) I don\'t
know, am I showing on one?

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
I don\'t see you. I need an invite. Somebody
needs to invite alpha. We met in Halo 2,

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
so it\'s always going to be romantic
stuff, like Halo. Right baby? Absolute.

00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
Yeah. Because this is our Oh crap. I am
going to kill a chicken just for that.

00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
No I am not. Oh boy, a whole
bunch of those guys over here.

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
[sil.]

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
I\'m starting to get nauseous now.
Yeah I might have to stop

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
after this you guys.

00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
Wait buddy, wait. Sit, good boy. Sit.

00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
Good boy,

00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
okay let\'s go.

00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
I still have my mammogram pictures from when I was diagnosed. I
have the actual pictures. Now they\'ll give them to you on a disk,

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
but I have the actual pictures and I\'ve tried
to look at them and try to say is that

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
really where the disease was.
Debra had ductal carcinoma

00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
in site 2 DCIS. It\'s a non spreading
cancer. It was in several places

00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
so she had a mastectomy on her left breast,
and Deb had a really hard time with this.

00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
[music]

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
From the time, I had my first excisional
biopsy until the time I had my mastectomy

00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
was only about two months. I
might have taken more time.

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
Hi Deb. How are you? I am good. Good.

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
I got these for you. I was going to bring them
last time and then my appointment got changed, so.

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
You don\'t have to do that. Look, it\'s very nice.
Thank you. You\'re welcome. So how are you?

00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
I really like having something here,
I really do. It\'s really nice.

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
It\'s funny how the little things make a huge difference
and you don\'t even realize them until you get them back.

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
So good, let\'s see how it\'s healing, good. So a
little scab is perfectly normal. You see how

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
it\'s starting to raise up a little bit. Yeah I mean We\'re just starting to
see that. Yeah, if you look down, I mean you can so it will go even more.

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
So you feel like it\'s really good. Yeah,
and I think our symmetry is great.

00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
Yeah I do too. Great central cleavage,
so you can wear things slip down here

00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
at work like I know, like you do every
day, right. Right No, but that\'s great.

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.999
Yeah One thing I\'ve learned through all these
years is that a breast is a very subjective organ

00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
and one woman can lose it and not think
much more about it and another woman

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
it\'s devastating to lose it and
she will mourn for it for years.

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
After my mastectomy, I needed to
have the reconstruction right away.

00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
I thought well why do they hurry up with all
of this, why you have to do it all at once,

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
but it was important as I look back to
be able to have the bandage come off

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
and to have a breast there.

00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:50.000
[music]

00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
Yeah, we\'re good now.

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
How are you doing? Good. I am Maggie.

00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
This is Maggie and Beth. Hello. Hi. I think you
made them. Yay. Excited, nervous. Excited.

00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
She is a little nervous. No, that\'s good. A
little nervous. We\'ll get you (inaudible).

00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
So you had a bilateral mastectomy when?
June 20th. And they did expanders?

00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
Expanders and silicon implants.

00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
The nice thing about it now when I
cut the grass, they don\'t jiggle.

00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
They got cold into winter though. Oh yeah.

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
So somewhere along the line someone decided that
3.5 centimeters was the normal areola size.

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
I don\'t know where they came up with that,
but Whatever, I wasn\'t normal to start with.

00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
So I think 3.5 centimeters, 3.5 centimeters so I\'ve
become pretty good at drawing 3.5-centimeter circles.

00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
Let\'s see how close I am.

00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
This is Vinnie\'s mother. Hi.
Hello. This is Deb.

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
Nice to meet you. You remember Maggie.

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
Sure. I think we met at the shop once.
Okay, love you. Mom, you want to sit here.

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
The color I really like came in a limited edition,
a set of sharpies called Caribbean Colors

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
and it was cream sickle orange, and it\'s
that one right there, but it\'s gone.

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
It barely makes a mark anymore, but
every time I still try to use it,

00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
but you can\'t they don\'t sell them anymore, and that\'s
the last one on the planet. I\'ve looked all over EBay.

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
When this kind tattooing
started taking over,

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
my tattooing it became
mostly what I was doing

00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
and I wasn\'t I didn\'t have time for other kinds
of tattooing. I sacrificed artistic satisfaction

00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.999
of doing regular tattoos, but
again, the satisfaction I get

00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.999
from helping out all the ladies. There.

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
Oh my gosh. It is amazing. You
can\'t even tell this close up.

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
My feet is feeling so lovely.

00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
When I wake up every day I\'m like
I\'m alive. Every day, I\'m like,

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
thank you God. You look at life
differently and you love people more.

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
I don\'t look at people in the same way like I used
to, because I would look at you and say whatever,

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
I didn\'t care, but now I care about people, because I
know life is precious. The treatment that I am getting

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
is really helping to save
my life, and the radiation

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
that I getting now is like
so strong that it\'s burning.

00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
What do you mean burning? Like a sun tan. Oh. Have you ever
been like you\'re in the sun too long and it burns your skin,

00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.999
but guess what, it\'s okay. I want to live.
I want to see

00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.999
my grand I got three grandchildren,
two girls and one boy.

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
Wow. Real classy. These are
our new metallic tools.

00:35:55.000 --> 00:35:59.999
I love that. Yeah. Because there\'s so many wonderful
things in life that we don\'t have to miss out on now.

00:36:00.000 --> 00:36:04.999
I had a mastectomy and my family

00:36:05.000 --> 00:36:09.999
and everybody was there, and I\'m telling
you it was this everybody was in tears,

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
but they were there to give me support.
And she made me look at her chest.

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
I think the three of us. I cleaned, I
took care of her. The three of us.

00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
I am not medically inclined and I did not
want to look at her chest, but she insisted

00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
over and over. After I had my surgery,
I couldn\'t look at this part.

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
I could not look at it, but then the nurse
told me, she said, you got to look at it,

00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
and when I looked at it and I knew that it was going to
be okay, because you\'ve got to face your fears, you do,

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
and I had to look at it and say, you know what, this
is my body, and guess what, I\'m not going to die.

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
It was worth living. So when I go
back, they\'re going to take that out

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
and take the tissues here and add it up
here, and they\'re going to be sitting up,

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
[sil.]

00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
nipple and everything.
I know, that\'s right.

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
That is awesome.

00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
You would be a perfect candidate for flap
surgery. Being as it is that side is radiated.

00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
Right now we\'d be tattooing right
over top of that bad spot,

00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
which would not be good. So
whatever she does in the revisions,

00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
we hope that as this moves, it
changes the center to be somewhere

00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
that\'s a little better skin, so we can
get a better result. And because spot

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
that I have right here, you know the spot that\'s
always tearing open and has a scab on it,

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
he said that that\'s dead
the middle of where my

00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
tattoos should be, and he says it\'s
going to be extremely difficult

00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:54.999
to do that, because of the healing
process of radiated skin.

00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.999
He was so informative, I felt like I was
talking to a surgeon. Hello. How are you?

00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
I\'m on my self-imposed every
six months or so follow.

00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
Sometimes I just need a cheerleader, that\'s
all right. This whole experience sharing

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
it just stays with me. It\'s not like I just

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
But it still affects you you\'re saying in a
negative way. Well, I mean I started doing yoga

00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
once or twice a week, so you put your hands
at your heart center and I feel my breasts

00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
that are different than they were
before I had this experience.

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
I know you told me when I had that implant
exchange and the augmentation that

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
10% of women do lose sensation
on the augmented side

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
and I fit into that category, and I didn\'t
realize that that was such a big deal for me.

00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
I mean it\'s it was a very pleasurable

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
and erotic part of my body
and it\'s not there now.

00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
So I mean I have sensation.
It\'s just not pleasurable.

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
So you can feel, you are being touched
but it\'s just not pleasurable,

00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
that\'s interesting. And
this nipple, as you said,

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
you have dominant nipples or
whatever the term was, it still like

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
rubs against the inside of a bra

00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
and it is just kind of annoying to me. So
this nipple bugs you when you\'re in a bra

00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
and it shaves. Yeah, sometimes. So,
you certainly could make it smaller,

00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
but I\'m kind of surprised you asked
that because that\'s your normal size.

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
I know, I know. I liked it before
I mean when I had to that size,

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
but after the augmentation, it
just became even more pronounced.

00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
You can feel it when I touch you.
Yeah, oh yeah.

00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
Okay, but of course on this side, you
can\'t, because those nerves are gone.

00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
I could take a little bit of that and put
it over here again. Oh really. Yeah.

00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
And you think it would take again. Um-hmm.

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
Oh. So this should make this a little flatter
so it shouldn\'t be quite so irritating

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
while you\'re running,

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:19.999
and we\'ll recycle. So use what we
take away and put on the other side

00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.999
. Not hurting at all?

00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:29.999
No.

00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:34.999
You\'re going to be long
asleep shortly. Okay.

00:40:35.000 --> 00:40:39.999
Take some nice deep breaths.

00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:44.999
Think of something pleasant. The beach.

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
Yeah, with really blue water.
Yeah, nice water, sand.

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
Any beach in particular. Cancun is
beautiful. Cancun. Boy I feel it.

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
Oh, there we go.

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
Wow. This feels good. Dr. Amin,

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
you\'re a very man. I am trying to help.
You\'re going to be just fine,

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.999
okay. Cancun. Right Cancun.
Margaritas, gray goose.

00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:19.999
Higher power is in-charge, you
would be get directed here.

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
[music]

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
That\'s a sentinel node.

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
It\'s who die, so it goes
to the sentinel node

00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
and lights it up.

00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
[music]

00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
Somebody\'s been playing when my hat.

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
So we give Dr. Slezak a job to keep
her busy, keep her out of my way,

00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
because she has got a little touch of ADD and
she can\'t just stand here and hold the traffic.

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:04.999
I thought it was crazy. Raise
the table up a little higher,

00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:09.999
because we are tall. We are very tall. (inaudible)
myosin, penicillin, tetracycline, Demerol.

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
She was given 600 mg of pentamycin.

00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
She has SEDs on (inaudible).

00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:28.000
[music]

00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
That must be it, right there.
(inaudible) Dr. Slezak. Okay.

00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
[music]

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:44.999
It\'s weak and poopy, but it\'s there. (inaudible) All right, probably
here, I am not seeing, this is the sentinel node, hole right here.

00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:53.000
[music]

00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:24.999
504 for the right.

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.999
504. Yes. So we\'ll use the 470 then.

00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.999
470. Yeah. Okay.

00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:43.000
[music]

00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:49.999
This is AlloDern. This is a human
collagen that\'s processed.

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:54.999
Her own cells will grow into this
and that will become part of her.

00:43:55.000 --> 00:44:03.000
[music]

00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:14.999
So the more I put in, the more they\'re
happy, because they don\'t look flat,

00:44:15.000 --> 00:44:19.999
and they feel more whole, but the
more I put in, the more I stretch

00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:24.999
their muscle and the more I give them pain. So
that\'s why we go kind of a half to two-thirds

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.999
of what their volume was.

00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:38.000
[music]

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.999
Thank you. Please have a seat. So I am done

00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:49.999
and Dr. Slezak is working away, so
she has finished the first side,

00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:54.999
so it\'d still be about another 45 minutes maybe
an hour. I can\'t think anything else to do.

00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:59.999
God, I\'d like to take you dinner sometime. Okay. Well, that
would be great, but right now I just need a cup of coffee.

00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.999
All right. I appreciate you. Thank
you so much. You\'re welcome.

00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:09.999
Hey Carol. Hi. Welcome back.
You\'re just waking up.

00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.999
Everything went well. Did you go to Cancun?

00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:19.999
Yeah. You were talking about it.

00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.999
Was the water really nice? Yeah.

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.999
I felt rich. Good.

00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:34.999
We went shopping

00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:39.999
for lingerie and I had picked
out a bra that was D cup.

00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:44.999
So when I had the surgery and
kind of like wasn\'t coherent,

00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.999
because of the anesthesia, and I remember
her telling me she couldn\'t do the size

00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:54.999
that I expected that I would probably
be a C, and I was kind of out of it,

00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.999
and I was like, okay. After the surgery, when
I took off the bandage the following day,

00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.999
I was very disappointed and I cried.

00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.999
And I felt like 2.5 months of stretching

00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.999
and going through misery, the painful
part of stretching your skin

00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.999
and then look in the mirror
and say, what is that.

00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:24.999
[music]

00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:29.999
I got mad at myself and said,
how ungrateful can you be,

00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:34.999
you didn\'t have anything, you got cancer.

00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.999
You got cancer because you tried to go
back to school. I did go back to school.

00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.999
I did a year. You did go back to school for
a year and a half and then you got cancer

00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:49.999
and you were never more
stressed out in your life,

00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.999
negative, stressed. It caused you cancer.

00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:59.999
Your biggest stress would be what\'s for dinner.
What\'s for dinner? What\'s for dinner. Okay.

00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.999
[music]

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.999
Hello everybody.

00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.999
Today is my last day.

00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:19.999
Hi. That\'s my friend there.

00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:24.999
How are you doing? Oh wow, wonderful. Taking
a picture, because it\'s your last day.

00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.999
Yes, (inaudible). Look at you, I am here.
I\'ve got four more weeks.

00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:34.999
How you do it? Do it every
day, get up and get dressed.

00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:39.999
Through the grace of God. I am going to miss
you all, and especially you, because me

00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.999
and you had a lot of fun.

00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.999
Look how it\'s peeling here and here,

00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.999
but it is going to come back to its
natural color. That\'s when the radiation

00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:59.999
and it\'s peeling, and it is pain-free.

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.999
[music]

00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:09.999
Here\'s to our graduate.

00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:14.999
[music]

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.999
How are you?

00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.999
Well, I have some things on my list to talk to you about.
Sure. I think when I saw you last we were planning

00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:29.999
a proposal for a fashion
week and there were

00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.999
five young breast cancer survivors
and myself as part of fashion week

00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:39.999
and redesigned dresses.

00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:48.000
[music]

00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.999
(inaudible) on the runway,

00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.999
the admiration, the lights,
yeah, this was me.

00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:14.999
It was very, very powerful. Wow.
So how are you doing health-wise?

00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.999
Everything okay or not? I\'ve been
following this literature about DCIS

00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.999
and how it\'s not really cancer

00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.999
and I just think of all

00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:34.999
the changes that seem to have
happened since my diagnosis.

00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:39.999
I just feel like it was just such
an urgency and everything happened

00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.999
here if you look back really fast.
Do you think that

00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:49.999
sort of the speed of decision
making led you to make some choices

00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.999
that you might not have made had things moved
along in the slower clip. I might not have

00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:59.999
felt like mastectomy was my only choice.
I mean I would\'ve liked I don\'t know.

00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.999
I mean I know if I talked to Dr.
(inaudible), he will remind me,

00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.999
as he does every appointment, the
pathology that he saw. But still

00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:14.999
how do you know that you can\'t
just live with that for a while.

00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:19.999
We know that these
diseases are overtreated.

00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:24.999
We are not good enough yet as an oncologic community.
Probably most women with DCIS could be left

00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.999
alone and do fine, and a lot of this has
become a price to pay for screening,

00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:34.999
but the good part of screening is
that it can pick up invasive cancers,

00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:39.999
but the casualty of all that
are all these women with DCIS.

00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:44.999
But I just I just didn\'t
realize what a loss

00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:49.999
it would be for me. The loss of the breast,

00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:54.999
it just opened up so many boxes,
other losses, other regrets.

00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.999
It\'s kind of touchdown in a way.

00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.999
Yeah. It\'s changed me. It\'s kind
of like an emergency situation.

00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:09.999
I took a shower and I noticed a hole.

00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:14.999
So I picked up the phone, I called Dr.
Slezak, I sent a few pictures, and this is

00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.999
what it looks like.

00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:24.999
I was thinking Dr. Slezak was
going to remove my implants,

00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:29.999
and I wasn\'t wanting to do that,

00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:34.999
and I know that\'s really
stupid, you know what I mean,

00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:39.999
because if you think about it in
the right context, you think life,

00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:44.999
infection, dangerous,
something could get worse,

00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:49.999
implant. And all I kept
thinking was implant.

00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:54.999
I don\'t know.

00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:59.999
I guess I should call Randy,

00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:04.999
tell him what Sheri said

00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:09.999
and see if he will but now I
can\'t get a hold of Dr. Rosson

00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:14.999
and hold on honey.

00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:19.999
Hello. Hello. Billy,

00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:24.999
could you hold on one second?

00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:29.999
Okay, hold on one second. It\'s Dr.
Rosson\'s nurse.

00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:34.999
Can I call you back? All right. I love you.

00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:39.999
Love you too. Bye. Bye. Laura.
Yes. I am sorry.

00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:44.999
That\'s okay. I got your message. Okay.
There is (inaudible) be back.

00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:49.999
We need to remove the
implant on the left side.

00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:54.999
So how are you? It\'s worse. Yeah, I figured
it would. That\'s why we can\'t really wait.

00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:59.999
We\'ve got to do something and it just the
longer it\'s open, the more it gets infected.

00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:04.999
Let me just show you. It\'s a chance.
Yeah. And I\'m leaking.

00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:09.999
Yeah. So if we just leave the hole
there, it gets bigger and bigger

00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:14.999
and then more and more bacteria come
in and it\'s a chance of infection.

00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:19.999
Love you honey. Bye baby. Call me when you
get up. I\'m not doing anything tonight, so.

00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:24.999
You really look cute with that,
your purse is really cute. Thanks.

00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:29.999
So you\'re at peace with this decision.
I think so. Okay, that\'s good.

00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:34.999
I think so. Doris is on the way
to emotional rollercoaster

00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:39.999
and it\'s better to get off and
have a time to find yourself.

00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:44.999
Yes, because right now this is not really
about her breast cancer at this point.

00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:49.999
I mean when she first came to see us, she was
cancer free, she was definitely in remission,

00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:54.999
she may have been cured. But
when she first came, her goal

00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:59.999
was to get rid of her breast to give yourself the
lowest chance of breast cancer that she ever could,

00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:04.999
but somehow in her journey that\'s
changed to nothing about breast cancer

00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:09.999
and I want these specific big
breasts, and that\'s not the purpose.

00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:14.999
A look in the mirror and
I can see in my eyes

00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.999
tiredness instead of the
boldness that I know

00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:24.999
who I am so I\'ll do a check-in and be like,

00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:29.999
okay there you are and that\'s really hard for me to find that. So
it takes me a little bit longer to be like, okay, there you are.

00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:34.999
So I am not rejecting

00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:39.999
that joy I suppose. Yeah that\'s it.

00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:44.999
I\'m seeing more pain than joy
and fight and spirit in there.

00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:49.999
It used to be instant for me to be look
at it, okay, there you are, let\'s go,

00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:54.999
boom, and now I have to really pull
it out to be able to see that person.

00:54:55.000 --> 00:54:59.999
That\'s what\'s scary. Wow,
it does look better.

00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.999
It looks better than it did this morning
actually. You see how dark that is,

00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:09.999
like wow. Under here that\'s kind
of like how the whole thing was,

00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.999
but the fact that it\'s going so well,
I am like, AlleDerm doesn\'t go there.

00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:19.999
It doesn\'t affect my femaleness.
It that doesn\'t affect

00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:24.999
my sense of who I am or where
I am going, and again,

00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:29.999
it\'s asymmetrical, but that\'s
my doctor right there.

00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:34.999
Hey Dr. Chaudhry. What\'s your purple shade?
Well, I don\'t have my purple shade

00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:39.999
on to me. So how are you? You\'re looking
like that. Well nobody want to say,

00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:44.999
it\'s going to be okay Dr. Chaudhry.
God got me. I know. Can I get a hug?

00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:49.999
Yes, you can. So what I
wanted to go through,

00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:54.999
this scan was very
different to the last one.

00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:59.999
The scan did show that the cancer pretty much came back right in
the liver and unfortunately this can happen with breast cancer.

00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:04.999
But I do believe mine is curable. I
think I don\'t care, because of the God.

00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:09.999
Yeah, and I\'m not here to take
any of your hope away at all,

00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:14.999
because everybody needs hope, and the good thing is that
chemotherapy it works really well with your kind of cancer,

00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:19.999
because it\'s an aggressive cancer, which just sounds funny,
but when you have an aggressive cancer they tend to work

00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.999
chemotherapy tends to work better for them. So I\'m hoping that
since you did beautifully with the chemo that we did before

00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:29.999
and how sensitive it was that this
will do the same thing, okay.

00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:34.999
It will, because God told me. I heard from Him Dr. Chaudhry.
You\'re tolerating it really well, which is good, okay.

00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:39.999
I\'m fighting for my life, because God is
with me. He\'s always with me Dr. Chaudhry.

00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:44.999
He is with me. He is telling
me that it\'s not my time.

00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:49.999
He is telling me it\'s going to be okay, it\'s going
okay, just trust Dr. Chaudhry. He told me to trust you

00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:54.999
and Dr. Schnaper and all the doctors
and just do what you all say.

00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:59.999
[sil.]

00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.999
Stop walking so fast.

00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:13.000
[sil.]

00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:19.999
This is about life and death,

00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:24.999
and we\'re going to be here
tomorrow or next week,

00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:29.999
we don\'t know. So it\'s not a
time to keep (inaudible).

00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:34.999
So if I am going to help somebody,

00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:39.999
I want to, I want to be
able to (inaudible).

00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:44.999
It\'s not easy, but I am fighting. I don\'t
know when God is going to take me,

00:57:45.000 --> 00:57:49.999
but while I am here, I am going to do His
work, and I want to be able to (inaudible),

00:57:50.000 --> 00:57:54.999
everyone is. Some days

00:57:55.000 --> 00:57:59.999
it\'s hard, today was hard.

00:58:00.000 --> 00:58:04.999
This is what was inside me.

00:58:05.000 --> 00:58:09.999
This is a pain, just as a royal pain.

00:58:10.000 --> 00:58:14.999
I can\'t I have to wear certain bras,

00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:19.999
if I wear a certain bra, then obviously

00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:24.999
it just se how it\'s got
to be even somewhat.

00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:29.999
[music]

00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:34.999
If we\'re going somewhere,
I want to be attractive.

00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:39.999
I want to be normal. I want
to be that confident girl

00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:44.999
I\'ve been my entire life. That\'s what Randy
fell in love with. He said that was just

00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:49.999
an instant turn on to see that woman walking
through the door and having all that confidence.

00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:54.999
And now I feel like I\'ve
wavered from that person.

00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:59.999
So all my dreams and hopes
are on this next surgery.

00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:04.999
Lord did I hate that feeling.

00:59:05.000 --> 00:59:09.999
Oh my goodness, do I hate that feeling.

00:59:10.000 --> 00:59:14.999
Do you want me to type like I used to?
Yeah, do your regular stuff,

00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:19.999
because I\'ll just there\'s no point in doing it
twice. Okay, all right. So do your usual thing.

00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:24.999
The last time you saw my mother, remember
how wonderful and outgoing she was

00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:29.999
and spunky. Well, since the last
time you saw her, she\'s had a stroke

00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:34.999
and they actually gave her a
miracle drug that brought her arm

00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:39.999
and her leg back and she was practically
her regular self in terms of mobility,

00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:44.999
but her speech hasn\'t come back,

00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:49.999
and so she\'s very, very
hard to grasping words

00:59:50.000 --> 00:59:54.999
and also she\'s her dementia is worse

00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:59.999
and so she\'s not herself at all anymore. When
you saw her, she was all wearing Valentine red

01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:04.999
and her hair was all done
and her nails matched

01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:09.999
and she would never ever leave the house without
looking like she just came out of a fashion show,

01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:14.999
and now she doesn\'t care at all
anymore and she\'s in a hospital gown,

01:00:15.000 --> 01:00:19.999
and it doesn\'t matter if it\'s dirty or
not, and this is really sad for me.

01:00:20.000 --> 01:00:24.999
And today she\'s gone back to where she
lived and it\'s bad. She\'s frightened

01:00:25.000 --> 01:00:29.999
and she\'s angry and they\'re never going
to let her go back to her house again.

01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:34.999
She\'s going to end up staying in the
medical unit or the dementia unit.

01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:39.999
So it\'s a bad day for me. That\'s it.
Turn her off.

01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:44.999
You should see her. She is like. Don\'t put any of this in. You
could have a little bit of me tearful but not all of this.

01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:53.000
[sil.]

01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:04.999
Randy and I split up I
guess about a month ago,

01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:09.999
a little over a month ago,
and I am slowly taking

01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.999
my stuff out of here.

01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:19.999
I don\'t know I guess he changed, I changed.

01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:24.999
Whenever you go through an experience like this,
you\'re going to change, and he keeps asking me

01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:29.999
to be the old DD and I can\'t be the old DD.

01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:34.999
With him being a caregiver,

01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:39.999
I can see the change in him also
and he had repeated to me that

01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:45.000
he didn\'t want to be the caregiver anymore.

01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:59.999
I posted on Facebook this morning that you\'re
having 12 hours of reconstructive surgery

01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:04.999
and Randy liked it.

01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.999
When I went well, he came
in while I was packing,

01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:14.999
and I kind of like shocked
when he opened the door.

01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:19.999
Basically, he was baffled and couldn\'t
understand why I was so angry.

01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:24.999
I didn\'t have much to say to him and he
was like what the hell did I do to you,

01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:29.999
what\'s the anger or why are you
so mad, and I was like, really,

01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:34.999
and I was like, look at what I\'m doing right now. At
that point, he just said, get the hell out of here.

01:02:35.000 --> 01:02:40.000
He said, I was the most
ungrateful bitch he\'s ever met.

01:02:45.000 --> 01:02:50.000
Thanks.

01:02:55.000 --> 01:03:03.000
[music]

01:03:15.000 --> 01:03:19.999
Well, finished.

01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:24.999
Why do you wear glasses on the tip
of your nose. See it this way.

01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:29.999
This is (inaudible) over there.

01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:34.999
You can\'t say there\'s a piece of I
don\'t know. I don\'t think it does.

01:03:35.000 --> 01:03:39.999
I think it\'s just that one right there.

01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:44.999
[sil.]

01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:49.999
You haven\'t seen your stomach yet. No.

01:03:50.000 --> 01:03:54.999
(inaudible) take your vitals
after everything wrapped, okay.

01:03:55.000 --> 01:03:59.999
You\'re okay mostly (inaudible).
It\'s right here.

01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:04.999
You got any pain.

01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:09.999
Yeah. Yeah, okay. I know

01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:14.999
(inaudible). I know I am (inaudible)

01:04:15.000 --> 01:04:19.999
honey. I know (inaudible).

01:04:20.000 --> 01:04:24.999
They\'re (inaudible) mom,

01:04:25.000 --> 01:04:29.999
and they\'ll look better.
You\'ve been out of surgery,

01:04:30.000 --> 01:04:34.999
it\'s not going to (inaudible) 24 hours.
I just want to be happy with somebody.

01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:39.999
You got to work on you first.

01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:44.999
You can\'t make anyone happy
if you\'re not happy.

01:04:45.000 --> 01:04:49.999
[sil.]

01:04:50.000 --> 01:04:54.999
Why can\'t I understand it, life support

01:04:55.000 --> 01:04:59.999
(inaudible) understand that baby.

01:05:00.000 --> 01:05:08.000
[music]

01:05:10.000 --> 01:05:15.000
Look at her hair. I know.

01:05:20.000 --> 01:05:24.999
You feel like a cat. It\'s so soft.

01:05:25.000 --> 01:05:29.999
It\'s over he ears now (inaudible) haircut.

01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:34.999
Someone asked me if this is a haircut, and I was like yeah, it was God\'s haircut. God\'s haircut.
You look great. Thank you. You know the procedure. Yeah, sure do. I like having enough hair

01:05:35.000 --> 01:05:39.999
so that people think I\'m gay instead of
sick and they do treat me differently

01:05:40.000 --> 01:05:44.999
because of that. It\'s kind of like, they
me kind of like about the yeah right

01:05:45.000 --> 01:05:49.999
on or but they don\'t look at
me with pity, and that\'s nice,

01:05:50.000 --> 01:05:54.999
because I don\'t like I don\'t like the
feeling of not appearing as powerful

01:05:55.000 --> 01:05:59.999
or empowered. Dr. Slezak Zack

01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:04.999
and I want to go with you Sicily. Can
we go? What are you going to do there?

01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:09.999
We are going to see the celebration of Agatha, the saint
of the breast. Look at the trample. Oh, when is it?

01:06:10.000 --> 01:06:14.999
February. I think we should go in February.

01:06:15.000 --> 01:06:19.999
Do you get us a room together? Are you ready for
like a million men pulling the statute with ropes?

01:06:20.000 --> 01:06:24.999
No we want a million men
carrying us with the statute.

01:06:25.000 --> 01:06:29.999
Actually when I used to
lecture the medical students,

01:06:30.000 --> 01:06:34.999
I used to start my lecture with one of these pictures,
these millions of pictures of Saint Agatha.

01:06:35.000 --> 01:06:39.999
[music]

01:06:40.000 --> 01:06:44.999
This is Quintianus, the Roman
governor and he wanted Agatha,

01:06:45.000 --> 01:06:49.999
but she wanted to be a nun and serve Jesus.
She was a virgin.

01:06:50.000 --> 01:06:54.999
So she refused him and he got angry. He sent
her to a brothel to try to break her fate,

01:06:55.000 --> 01:06:59.999
but he couldn\'t. So he had
her breasts amputated.

01:07:00.000 --> 01:07:04.999
And these are really some very brutal
and gory pictures. Here her breasts

01:07:05.000 --> 01:07:09.999
on a platter. They really look very cruel.
Look at look at this guy.

01:07:10.000 --> 01:07:14.999
He looks like he\'s crazy, but
the miracle is that she healed

01:07:15.000 --> 01:07:19.999
and she didn\'t die and she remained faithful
to God. I think these were just brutal times.

01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:24.999
He was trying to break her both physically
and psychologically, but it didn\'t work

01:07:25.000 --> 01:07:29.999
and you know it\'s also a
better story this way to.

01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:34.999
Why do you think that Agatha
became the breast cancer saint.

01:07:35.000 --> 01:07:39.999
Well, she lost both our press, and so I
think anybody that has to lose a breast

01:07:40.000 --> 01:07:44.999
becomes a saint in their own way. They go through
a journey that they don\'t really want to do

01:07:45.000 --> 01:07:49.999
but they learn a lot about themselves on
the way and gather a lot of new strength,

01:07:50.000 --> 01:07:55.000
so they become a saint.

01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:08.000
[music]

01:09:15.000 --> 01:09:19.999
Even though I was diagnosed with
the cancer, I\'m not afraid to die,

01:09:20.000 --> 01:09:24.999
and no matter what they say,
because this stuff is not mine,

01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:29.999
and it\'s okay. I think sometimes

01:09:30.000 --> 01:09:34.999
you\'re almost like a saint Shelia.
A saint is somebody

01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:39.999
that walked with Jesus. I\'m no saint.

01:09:40.000 --> 01:09:44.999
I wish I was.

01:09:45.000 --> 01:09:49.999
You wonder why she didn\'t bleed to death

01:09:50.000 --> 01:09:54.999
loosened her breasts. That must be one of
her miracles. I thought the miracle was

01:09:55.000 --> 01:09:59.999
she stayed a virgin in a brothel. I
think she looks a little like me,

01:10:00.000 --> 01:10:05.000
little big nose.

01:10:20.000 --> 01:10:24.999
See the little angel right
there with a plate of breasts.

01:10:25.000 --> 01:10:29.999
Look at the little angel with pliers, and we
should get a pair for the operating room.

01:10:30.000 --> 01:10:34.999
That\'s not elegant and reconstructive.
No, wouldn\'t make a clean line either.

01:10:35.000 --> 01:10:39.999
Wow. That is so offensive.

01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:48.000
[music]

01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:54.999
All right, here she comes again.

01:11:55.000 --> 01:11:59.999
[music]

01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:04.999
What is really impressive about this is how intensely
personal it is. I mean we\'ve been here since

01:12:05.000 --> 01:12:09.999
I don\'t know I forgot you won\'t let us
sleep. We\'ve been here for a few days

01:12:10.000 --> 01:12:14.999
and we walk around this city. There are
no tourists here. This belongs to them.

01:12:15.000 --> 01:12:19.999
She protects them.

01:12:20.000 --> 01:12:28.000
[music]

01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:39.999
I don\'t think I\'ve ever experienced
anything quite like this, ever in my life.

01:12:40.000 --> 01:12:48.000
[music]

01:12:50.000 --> 01:12:54.999
I\'m not overwhelmed by
the relics or by her,

01:12:55.000 --> 01:12:59.999
but I am overwhelmed by their commitment.

01:13:00.000 --> 01:13:08.000
[music]

01:13:10.000 --> 01:13:14.999
very strange sensation, having a circle draw on you. That\'s
why I went into surgery just so I could draw on people.

01:13:15.000 --> 01:13:19.999
All of this comes out and
this point goes down to here,

01:13:20.000 --> 01:13:24.999
and then we\'ll make a new bellybutton. So all
of these bulks get stretched out go away.

01:13:25.000 --> 01:13:29.999
They reclaim their lives, so it\'s actually
a celebration, it\'s a great thing.

01:13:30.000 --> 01:13:34.999
Sometimes it\'s cosmetic surgery like I\'ve had
people wanted to do their tummies or their eyes.

01:13:35.000 --> 01:13:39.999
It\'s kind of saying, yes I\'m worth it and I\'m
going to be this and I\'m going to enjoy it.

01:13:40.000 --> 01:13:44.999
It\'s taking your life back. So it\'s a
great sign. That\'s a sign of progress

01:13:45.000 --> 01:13:49.999
and good mental health.

01:13:50.000 --> 01:13:54.999
Here\'s the AlloDern which is well-taken. I always
wondered if she was reacting a little to the AlloDern

01:13:55.000 --> 01:13:59.999
but everything looks good in there.
So this is 650.

01:14:00.000 --> 01:14:04.999
These are larger than what
she had in which was 610.

01:14:05.000 --> 01:14:09.999
We\'ll see which one we like.

01:14:10.000 --> 01:14:14.999
Why don\'t we sit up and have a look, okay.

01:14:15.000 --> 01:14:19.999
So this is 650 on the right
and a 700 on the left.

01:14:20.000 --> 01:14:24.999
So see I am afraid of the skin

01:14:25.000 --> 01:14:29.999
on the left. It\'s just thin and
I think I like the 650 better,

01:14:30.000 --> 01:14:34.999
so yes. And we still are further out.

01:14:35.000 --> 01:14:39.999
I\'ll try to do that, a little
folds are better, much better,

01:14:40.000 --> 01:14:44.999
so we\'re getting there. Okay, let\'s
go down. I\'m operating slowly today,

01:14:45.000 --> 01:14:49.999
because ever since I came back from
Catania, I\'ve improved. Catania, Italy.

01:14:50.000 --> 01:14:54.999
Yes, Sheri and I went to Catania

01:14:55.000 --> 01:14:59.999
for the festival of Saint Agatha.
Now you know what it is,

01:15:00.000 --> 01:15:04.999
it\'s really not a Catholic festivals, it\'s
more of a pagan festival. And I think

01:15:05.000 --> 01:15:09.999
it\'s backwards. I think what happened is
that breast cancer people adapted to her,

01:15:10.000 --> 01:15:14.999
because is Saint Agatha. Yeah, because she lost her
breast. But they\'re not so interested in that.

01:15:15.000 --> 01:15:19.999
They\'re interested in her protection from
Mount Etna, which is an active volcano.

01:15:20.000 --> 01:15:24.999
The original story was, it erupted, it was coming down,
she threw a veil over it and protected the village.

01:15:25.000 --> 01:15:30.000
We went up on Mount Etna. We saw the
place where the lava stopped flowing.

01:15:50.000 --> 01:15:54.999
This is unbelievable. Look at that column
of ash. We\'re looking at Mount Etna

01:15:55.000 --> 01:15:59.999
where we were standing, probably right
there, and now there\'s probably lava flowing

01:16:00.000 --> 01:16:04.999
exactly where we were standing.
I mean this is amazing.

01:16:05.000 --> 01:16:09.999
So this happened a couple of days ago and they\'ve
had to close the airport because of the ash.

01:16:10.000 --> 01:16:14.999
You told me that what moved you was the fact
that they cared so much about their saint

01:16:15.000 --> 01:16:19.999
and that they had this passion.
So is passion something

01:16:20.000 --> 01:16:24.999
that\'s out of control for you.
No, this is them.

01:16:25.000 --> 01:16:29.999
I mean I wanted to talk about the devotees. I am not
talking about any other passion and the religious passion

01:16:30.000 --> 01:16:34.999
that these people feel. I don\'t want to
talk about passion at all, that\'s private.

01:16:35.000 --> 01:16:39.999
I don\'t want to talk about cosmic issues
that had to do with arty-farty shit.

01:16:40.000 --> 01:16:44.999
I only want to talk about science and medicine.
Isn\'t cancer always out-of-control though?

01:16:45.000 --> 01:16:49.999
By definition cancer is out of control.

01:16:50.000 --> 01:16:55.000
It\'s unregulated cell growth and
so it\'s always out of control.

01:17:00.000 --> 01:17:04.999
Dr. (inaudible) Hey Ms.
(inaudible) How are you?

01:17:05.000 --> 01:17:09.999
Good. How are you? I came by to say hi
because I heard you\'re in hospital.

01:17:10.000 --> 01:17:14.999
I\'ve had a lot of pain. I am going to get
better. Yeah. We\'ll want you to get better.

01:17:15.000 --> 01:17:19.999
We\'ll get some more results and then we\'ll
figure out a good plan for you, okay, all right.

01:17:20.000 --> 01:17:24.999
It was good to see. Great to see you. It\'s great to
see you. You have the best attitude of any patient.

01:17:25.000 --> 01:17:33.000
[music]

01:17:35.000 --> 01:17:39.999
One day she was hospitalized
and I went to the hospital

01:17:40.000 --> 01:17:44.999
and she told me I am going to die. I said,

01:17:45.000 --> 01:17:49.999
it ain\'t over until God says it\'s over. She
said, no not that, and I explained to her,

01:17:50.000 --> 01:17:54.999
don\'t be afraid, not that
Ben did, so I don\'t know,

01:17:55.000 --> 01:17:59.999
because he has already let, but I said, but don\'t be afraid,
because there is no sickness and there\'s no trouble there.

01:18:00.000 --> 01:18:04.999
I said every day is going to be Sunday when
you get there, nobody there has cancer.

01:18:05.000 --> 01:18:09.999
I said, you\'re going to take on a
glorified body when you get to Heaven,

01:18:10.000 --> 01:18:14.999
and I was explaining it to her like it
is in a Bible and it perked her up.

01:18:15.000 --> 01:18:19.999
I can just feel Shelia\'s
spirit in this room now.

01:18:20.000 --> 01:18:24.999
She is with us.

01:18:25.000 --> 01:18:30.000
Yes, she is. Yes, she is.

01:18:35.000 --> 01:18:39.999
You\'ve done this before.

01:18:40.000 --> 01:18:44.999
Yeah, we have dogs. To see her
go through that and come back

01:18:45.000 --> 01:18:49.999
just as strong and as bright
and loving and giving as ever

01:18:50.000 --> 01:18:54.999
has just completely solidified my
admiration and adoration for her

01:18:55.000 --> 01:18:59.999
and her abilities as a person. The fact
that my mother died from breast cancer

01:19:00.000 --> 01:19:04.999
prepared me for the diagnosis.
It prepared me for

01:19:05.000 --> 01:19:09.999
wanting to live and doing whatever I could

01:19:10.000 --> 01:19:14.999
to get through with the treatment. She told me that
the other day a sentence you missed her nipples.

01:19:15.000 --> 01:19:19.999
Oh, I was doing that I used to harass her.
I don\'t miss

01:19:20.000 --> 01:19:24.999
them emotionally I missed them because I used
to do things to her too and irritate them

01:19:25.000 --> 01:19:29.999
so that they would become erect

01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:34.999
and she then she said, well, that doesn\'t necessarily
mean that I was in the mood for anything.

01:19:35.000 --> 01:19:39.999
I said, well, in my mind it does and that\'s all that mattered
at the moment, so that\'s why I said that I miss then.

01:19:40.000 --> 01:19:44.999
Outside of that realistically, there\'s no
detraction from our life because they\'re not there.

01:19:45.000 --> 01:19:49.999
Do you think Agatha helps to people in
Catania to the deal with fear and mortality?

01:19:50.000 --> 01:19:54.999
Well, they have a more fatalistic

01:19:55.000 --> 01:19:59.999
or realistic view of mortality
than we do in America.

01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:04.999
Look at us we got all these crazy drinks and
all these crazy foods and all this crazy

01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:09.999
going to the gym every day,

01:20:10.000 --> 01:20:14.999
and no offense, there\'s a whole crowd of people going to
the gym every day. Not every day. All this crazy stuff

01:20:15.000 --> 01:20:19.999
to be immortal and lots of vitamins that you
don\'t need because you just pee them out.

01:20:20.000 --> 01:20:24.999
This is America where we
think we\'re immortal.

01:20:25.000 --> 01:20:29.999
So we always worry about that one life saved
and I would worry if it was my life also.

01:20:30.000 --> 01:20:34.999
I would personalize it
too, but as a culture

01:20:35.000 --> 01:20:39.999
we are all wrapped up and immortality.

01:20:40.000 --> 01:20:44.999
That\'s where I\'m going
to get my face lifted,

01:20:45.000 --> 01:20:49.999
because I\'m wrapped up in immortality also.

01:20:50.000 --> 01:20:54.999
I mean really who made up the pliers thing.
Now you know damn well that

01:20:55.000 --> 01:20:59.999
I don\'t know how her breasts were amputated or even
if she lived or even if any of this is true or not,

01:21:00.000 --> 01:21:04.999
but the first person that made a
painting of it was the person

01:21:05.000 --> 01:21:09.999
who insinuated pliers into the story.
So what\'s the matter with that guy,

01:21:10.000 --> 01:21:14.999
because she could have had them amputated
with a knife, she could have had an amputated

01:21:15.000 --> 01:21:19.999
with a burning ember. But
it was something like that.

01:21:20.000 --> 01:21:24.999
Yes. No, these are wrappers
so they have a blade.

01:21:25.000 --> 01:21:29.999
They were pliers in all the pictures,
so they were pulled off essentially.

01:21:30.000 --> 01:21:34.999
So some pervert made that up. You\'ve
made me feel very comfortable

01:21:35.000 --> 01:21:39.999
Dr. Bonawitz, you\'ve made me feel really
good every time that I talk to you.

01:21:40.000 --> 01:21:44.999
Good, one little step at a time here.
So I am going to stand you up.

01:21:45.000 --> 01:21:49.999
So it looks like the Giesha\'s face is probably
going to go here. IS that okay with you?

01:21:50.000 --> 01:21:54.999
I don\'t have a choice, do I? Yeah, I
think they\'ll be able to come back in

01:21:55.000 --> 01:21:59.999
and over tattoo this and recreate this. I am taking it just
down to above the shoulder, so they could actually retattoo

01:22:00.000 --> 01:22:04.999
or give her a new face. She
needed that face lift.

01:22:05.000 --> 01:22:09.999
Exactly, but she\'s going to get
kind of a neck lift I think.

01:22:10.000 --> 01:22:14.999
[music]

01:22:15.000 --> 01:22:19.999
I think we\'re going to carry
it all the way up into here.

01:22:20.000 --> 01:22:24.999
We\'re going to create a place for that
muscle to go, because in pushing it forward,

01:22:25.000 --> 01:22:29.999
it\'s going to have somewhere to go. So we
make space for it or staple that closed,

01:22:30.000 --> 01:22:34.999
and then we\'re going to flip her up on her side, bring
up that muscle, tuck it forward, then inset that flap,

01:22:35.000 --> 01:22:39.999
I mean trying to pull it together.

01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:48.000
[music]

01:22:50.000 --> 01:22:54.999
Okay, staple it.

01:22:55.000 --> 01:23:03.000
[music]

01:23:25.000 --> 01:23:29.999
See this is going to be her (inaudible)
tunnel. This, probably I was breaking

01:23:30.000 --> 01:23:34.999
in the middle of it over here.

01:23:35.000 --> 01:23:39.999
Shall we? Okay knife.

01:23:40.000 --> 01:23:48.000
[music]

01:24:05.000 --> 01:24:09.999
This is the flap here, that\'s the big triangular
muscle, the skin, blood vessels come up into the skin

01:24:10.000 --> 01:24:14.999
from the muscle when I keep that skin alive. So that\'s the flap, we\'re
going to lift it forward and then flip the whole thing around that way.

01:24:15.000 --> 01:24:19.999
So you\'re not even detaching it. We leave
it attached, and here\'s our sponge

01:24:20.000 --> 01:24:24.999
from the front so this is our space. This
is what we left in the space in front here.

01:24:25.000 --> 01:24:29.999
So completely we\'ve communicated. That\'s
our old sponge, we get rid of it.

01:24:30.000 --> 01:24:34.999
So we can just take a (inaudible)

01:24:35.000 --> 01:24:39.999
and swing it forward like that and we\'ll see
how it comes out. (inaudible) more than that.

01:24:40.000 --> 01:24:44.999
Can I have a staple remover please? Where is
the Geisha? You\'ll see her in just a moment.

01:24:45.000 --> 01:24:49.999
There she is.

01:24:50.000 --> 01:24:58.000
[music]

01:25:20.000 --> 01:25:24.999
There was a strain. It was
a long drawn out strain,

01:25:25.000 --> 01:25:29.999
mentally for me. I
definitely needed my breasts

01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:34.999
to be the way they are for me to be
happy, I absolutely needed that.

01:25:35.000 --> 01:25:39.999
Emotionally, mentally, physically,

01:25:40.000 --> 01:25:44.999
looking at myself I wanted that feeling of,

01:25:45.000 --> 01:25:49.999
all right, I feel good about this.
They really look nice

01:25:50.000 --> 01:25:54.999
and it\'s what I wanted to be
able to accomplish. I was thrown

01:25:55.000 --> 01:25:59.999
a major curve in my life and I\'ve gone

01:26:00.000 --> 01:26:04.999
from one end of it to the other, to
the final spot where I wanted to be.

01:26:05.000 --> 01:26:09.999
Would you like a little caterpillar?
It\'s so cute. yes.

01:26:10.000 --> 01:26:14.999
No, you have to take the whole thing. I you pull it
off, it will die. I mean it\'ll back I mean stuck

01:26:15.000 --> 01:26:19.999
and it\'ll break. Oh my goodness, never
mind, we need to leave these here.

01:26:20.000 --> 01:26:24.999
Look all these caterpillars are eating the
parsley. Oh, let\'s put that one back.

01:26:25.000 --> 01:26:29.999
They\'re very cute.

01:26:30.000 --> 01:26:34.999
If you\'re walking here,
watch out for dog shit.

01:26:35.000 --> 01:26:39.999
[music]

01:26:40.000 --> 01:26:44.999
Every single person here
thinks of her as his or hers.

01:26:45.000 --> 01:26:49.999
I see the need for this mythical story

01:26:50.000 --> 01:26:54.999
and this firm belief,
because that was Shelia.

01:26:55.000 --> 01:26:59.999
Shelia had all the faith.

01:27:00.000 --> 01:27:04.999
She believed in miracles.

01:27:05.000 --> 01:27:09.999
I just need my life to
be Lord\'s will. Jesus.

01:27:10.000 --> 01:27:14.999
It makes me a little jealous,

01:27:15.000 --> 01:27:19.999
because they can suspend their
beliefs and believe in something

01:27:20.000 --> 01:27:24.999
that to me is just not possible.

01:27:25.000 --> 01:27:29.999
So I envy them, their lack of practicality.

01:27:30.000 --> 01:27:34.999
The Agatha myth is not about facts. It doesn\'t
really matter if Agatha stop the lava.

01:27:35.000 --> 01:27:39.999
What matters is how committed
they are to that idea.

01:27:40.000 --> 01:27:44.999
To me the ideal goal is to find the
cure for cancer. I personally believe

01:27:45.000 --> 01:27:49.999
that finding the cure for cancer is sort
of like unlocking the secret to life.

01:27:50.000 --> 01:27:54.999
Why does a cell give birth to a bad
cell or give birth to a malignant cell?

01:27:55.000 --> 01:27:59.999
The real issue is that do we really
need to know the answer and I think no,

01:28:00.000 --> 01:28:04.999
we don\'t need to know the secret to life.
If we can never figure out

01:28:05.000 --> 01:28:09.999
how it happens, but we can figure out how to
cure cancer, that\'s just fine. Modern sciences

01:28:10.000 --> 01:28:14.999
the veil we have to protect women.

01:28:15.000 --> 01:28:19.999
Imagine how many lives will
change when we do cure cancer.

01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:28.000
[music]

01:29:15.000 --> 01:29:19.999
I suspect

01:29:20.000 --> 01:29:24.999
in another certain number of
years, I don\'t know when,

01:29:25.000 --> 01:29:29.999
that mastectomy will not be a
part of the way of curing cancer.

01:29:30.000 --> 01:29:34.999
I believe in 50 years people will look
back and say they cut on people for this.

01:29:35.000 --> 01:29:39.999
I believe that people will look at us
the way we look at William Halsted.

01:29:40.000 --> 01:29:48.000
[music]