00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:19.240
Fuck, it’s hot.

00:00:20.200 --> 00:00:24.960
I’m melting. Let´s go to the pool.

00:00:25.960 --> 00:00:26.880
I´m broke.

00:00:29.560 --> 00:00:30.560
Fuck…

00:00:32.120 --> 00:00:32.760
Between this heat

00:00:32.760 --> 00:00:35.200
and your boring ass, I’m gonna fall asleep.

00:00:39.280 --> 00:00:40.640
I broke up with Laura.

00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:44.680
Laura? Which Laura?

00:00:44.720 --> 00:00:45.200
Which fucking Laura do you think I am talking about?

00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:46.520
The one with the big tits?

00:00:46.600 --> 00:00:47.480
Watch it, asshole! She’s my girlfriend.

00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:48.440
Well, more like your ex now, right?

00:00:48.480 --> 00:00:49.440
You broke up with her.

00:00:49.640 --> 00:00:50.480
Yeah, ok.

00:00:51.800 --> 00:00:53.240
That girl is the shit… Damn.

00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:56.400
Fuck man, I don´t get it…

00:00:56.880 --> 00:00:58.800
Why did you break up with the hottest girl on Earth?

00:00:58.840 --> 00:00:59.680
You’ re a pain in the ass…

00:00:59.720 --> 00:01:00.840
Not cool, man.

00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:03.240
Half of the neighbourhood gets a boner everytime she walks by.

00:01:03.760 --> 00:01:05.280
You were our fucking hero, Jota!

00:01:05.320 --> 00:01:06.680
Fine! I´m the only one who doesn´t get a boner anymore, ok?

00:01:07.160 --> 00:01:07.760
Shut your trap!

00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:14.880
What a stud...

00:01:15.080 --> 00:01:16.760
You got it on with another girl, didn´t you?

00:01:16.880 --> 00:01:18.840
You are such a pain in the ass.

00:01:18.880 --> 00:01:20.200
She must have huge titties,

00:01:20.240 --> 00:01:22.120
cause Laura… Never seen anything like her.

00:01:22.160 --> 00:01:23.120
Do you want me to hit you?

00:01:23.160 --> 00:01:24.840
Or maybe you nailed a fugly girl .

00:01:24.880 --> 00:01:26.480
and that´s why you´ve been so emo all week.

00:01:26.520 --> 00:01:27.360
Do you wanna shut up?

00:01:27.600 --> 00:01:28.640
Can´t you see I´m having a shitty time?

00:01:28.680 --> 00:01:29.920
So why did you hook up with a troll then?

00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.600
I haven´t hooked up with anyone!

00:01:38.480 --> 00:01:39.880
Ah, I see…So you like some other girl,

00:01:39.920 --> 00:01:41.440
but you haven´t boned her yet.

00:01:41.520 --> 00:01:44.520
Am I right? Where are you going? Tell me who she is!

00:01:44.960 --> 00:01:45.520
Jota!

00:01:48.320 --> 00:01:48.880
Is it Tamara?

00:01:49.160 --> 00:01:49.640
No.

00:01:49.760 --> 00:01:51.640
Fuck,  I would eat her tuna taco any day of the week.

00:01:54.160 --> 00:01:54.600
Merche?

00:01:55.880 --> 00:01:56.800
No, not Merche.

00:01:57.920 --> 00:01:58.760
I know… Asun!

00:01:59.040 --> 00:02:00.560
Good god, what a booty.

00:02:00.600 --> 00:02:02.920
I would toss that salad like a fucking chef…

00:02:02.960 --> 00:02:03.720
No, not Asun.. Ok?

00:02:07.880 --> 00:02:08.360
Slut…

00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:08.400
What?

00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:10.440
It´s Carmen, right?

00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:11.200
Carmen? Which Carmen?

00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:12.160
Dude! Carmen…

00:02:12.280 --> 00:02:13.400
Carmen, man?

00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:16.040
She’s 40 and has more hair on her face than I do on my nuts!

00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:18.320
Ok, ok… Shit, we´ve been over the whole
neighbourhood, I was just making sure.

00:02:24.600 --> 00:02:26.880
I hate this fucking heat… I´m going home, my playstation awaits.

00:02:26.920 --> 00:02:27.760
Hold up….

00:02:27.760 --> 00:02:30.160
Didn´t you wanna go to the pool?

00:02:48.280 --> 00:02:48.960
Well?

00:02:49.200 --> 00:02:50.000
What do you think?

00:02:50.680 --> 00:02:51.600
This is your plan?

00:02:53.160 --> 00:02:54.160
Did you forget to pay your brain bill?

00:02:54.200 --> 00:02:56.440
I´ve heard these scientology people

00:02:56.480 --> 00:02:58.760
have a pool on the rooftop.

00:02:58.800 --> 00:02:59.880
Wouldn´t it be cool to use it?

00:02:59.960 --> 00:03:00.760
Right, dude.

00:03:00.920 --> 00:03:02.600
We become scientologists so we can take a dip.

00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:03.080
You got it!

00:03:03.320 --> 00:03:04.560
Are you high?  No!

00:03:11.840 --> 00:03:12.280
Look,

00:03:12.480 --> 00:03:13.520
we go there, we play along…

00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:16.080
Yes, aliens do exist.

00:03:16.120 --> 00:03:17.360
No, of course Tom Cruise is not gay…

00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:18.760
And we get a free pass to the pool!

00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:19.440
Do you want it or not?

00:03:19.480 --> 00:03:20.040
No.

00:03:23.920 --> 00:03:24.360
Hi…

00:03:24.640 --> 00:03:25.080
We…

00:03:26.800 --> 00:03:28.480
We are here to join the cult.

00:03:29.680 --> 00:03:33.080
What my buddy means is that we’d like some information.

00:03:34.520 --> 00:03:36.080
Well, if you are interested,

00:03:36.120 --> 00:03:38.360
you can take a free personality test.

00:03:39.200 --> 00:03:40.360
Who would like to start?

00:03:42.200 --> 00:03:45.480
My mom always says that I don’t have much of a personality, so…

00:03:45.720 --> 00:03:46.640
my buddy here will start.

00:03:46.640 --> 00:03:47.640
This way…

00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:58.000
… With this machine we can tell what is blocking your potential.

00:04:03.160 --> 00:04:04.760
I will ask you a series of questions

00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:07.760
and we´ll find out what´s getting in the way of your progress in life.

00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:09.080
Cool!

00:04:09.200 --> 00:04:10.440
Like a lie detector?

00:04:10.480 --> 00:04:11.480
Like the ones cops use?

00:04:13.400 --> 00:04:15.040
Put your hands on the sensors

00:04:15.120 --> 00:04:16.480
while I ask you some questions.

00:04:16.960 --> 00:04:18.120
If the needle jumps,

00:04:18.200 --> 00:04:19.600
we´ll know what´s bothering you,

00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:20.920
even if you don´t realize it.

00:04:23.640 --> 00:04:24.560
What´s your name?

00:04:24.880 --> 00:04:25.440
Jota.

00:04:27.520 --> 00:04:28.560
Off to a good start…

00:04:28.840 --> 00:04:29.240
What?

00:04:30.280 --> 00:04:33.040
His full name is Jorge David Serrano since forever and the needle did not move.

00:04:35.840 --> 00:04:37.440
How is your relationship with your family?

00:04:38.000 --> 00:04:38.360
Good.

00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:39.920
How´s school?

00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:40.760
Alright.

00:04:41.480 --> 00:04:42.280
Are you seeing someone?

00:04:43.640 --> 00:04:44.640
Awesome!

00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:46.680
Let´s see if he answers you, he won´t tell me a thing…

00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:48.040
Can you shut up, asshole?

00:04:51.400 --> 00:04:52.240
Do you have a girlfriend?

00:04:53.400 --> 00:04:53.880
No.

00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:55.240
But… Is there anyone you like?

00:04:58.160 --> 00:04:59.360
Any special friends?

00:05:00.040 --> 00:05:02.200
Ask him if he likes Fat Jessica…

00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:03.320
I can’t think of anyone else.

00:05:03.360 --> 00:05:05.360
Ask him… ask him for real.

00:05:05.520 --> 00:05:06.920
Do you like fat Jessica?

00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:11.000
The thing is it seems something is bugging you about your love life.

00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:11.400
What?

00:05:13.080 --> 00:05:14.000
No, seriously…

00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:16.040
The machine never lies.

00:05:18.880 --> 00:05:20.840
Well, maybe…

00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:22.440
You don´t have a girl in mind…

00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:25.000
maybe...

00:05:25.200 --> 00:05:26.200
it´s a guy.

00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:32.880
Come on, lady…

00:05:33.560 --> 00:05:35.000
That machine is broken for sure.

00:05:35.400 --> 00:05:40.040
My friend here is as much of a faggot as I am an astronaut…

00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:41.200
Right, Jota?

00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:43.240
Jota?

00:05:46.320 --> 00:05:48.400
No fucking way…

00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:15.160
Is that why you have been so down?

00:06:22.680 --> 00:06:23.360
Fuck…

00:06:23.640 --> 00:06:25.040
You don´t wanna get in my pants, do you?

00:06:29.880 --> 00:06:33.040
Yeah, right on. I´m crazy for you.

00:06:35.840 --> 00:06:38.040
I love the way you snore.

00:06:38.280 --> 00:06:40.160
And how you pick your nose and wipe the snot on your pants,

00:06:40.320 --> 00:06:42.200
that makes me so hard.

00:06:42.760 --> 00:06:44.080
And your nasty feet and…

00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:46.080
Ok, ok. You made your point.

00:06:47.280 --> 00:06:48.440
What do you want me to think?

00:06:49.320 --> 00:06:53.040
I just found out you like getting your browneye poked.

00:06:55.840 --> 00:06:56.520
DIckhead.

00:07:02.920 --> 00:07:03.480
Jota…

00:07:06.120 --> 00:07:08.040
Jota, wait…

00:07:20.280 --> 00:07:21.440
So… Who do you like then?

00:07:25.520 --> 00:07:26.840
Because you like someone, right…

00:07:29.440 --> 00:07:31.680
Come on…  “The machine never lies”

00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:38.160
Ah, ok. It’s Frank, right?

00:07:38.880 --> 00:07:40.640
No, not him.

00:07:41.400 --> 00:07:41.960
Javi…

00:07:42.680 --> 00:07:43.160
Nope.

00:07:45.560 --> 00:07:47.440
Edu, it´s Edu for sure…

00:07:47.520 --> 00:07:49.400
I´ve seen him in the locker room, he´s packing some heat…

00:07:49.520 --> 00:07:52.800
He should be a cop.

00:07:55.440 --> 00:07:57.920
Come on man… Spit it out.

00:07:58.080 --> 00:08:00.920
Come on, for real…

00:08:10.400 --> 00:08:11.800
You like Juanlu!