The meanings and metaphors of blood.
Dreamtime
- Description
- Reviews
- Citation
- Cataloging
- Transcript
BLOODTIME MOONTIME DREAMTIME is a poetic three-part documentary work by Emmy Award winning filmmaker, Roberta Cantow which recontextualizes the experience of menstruation, blood, creativity and power for women today. With stunning visual images, a haunting musical score, and an original approach, this work delves into the values of the ancient “wise woman” ways. As a whole, Bloodtime Moontime Dreamtime provides a bird’s eye view of a culture within our culture which has begun to have influence over how women think and feel about their bodies and the earth and about personal and spiritual transformation. Combining notions of spirituality with the philosophy of the expressive arts movement and eco-feminism, this trilogy presents a landscape of women creatively engaged in the meaning making of their lives.
Together, the three parts provides a tapestry of contemporary ideas and practices that bespeak a need in the culture and in our times to invest our most elemental experiences of ‘life passage’ with new meanings. Touches on themes with interdisciplinary appeal to: women’s studies; contemporary ethnography; sociology; religion and spirituality; myth and ritual; culture and performance studies; depth psychology, expressive arts, etc.
Bloodtime: Claiming the Territory - (The meanings and metaphors of blood) (20:00)
Moontime: Celebrating the Blessing - (Honoring a girls' entrance into womanhood) (36:00) (Featuring interview with Laura Owen, author of Her Blood is Gold and others participants)
Dreamtime: Creating Art and Ritual (Art and Ritual as Transformative tools; Women as agents of change. (62:00) (Includes Ccommentary with Judith Greer Essex, PhD, Expressive Arts and artist, Helen Redman, among others)
Citation
Main credits
Cantow, Roberta (film director)
Cantow, Roberta (film producer)
Cantow, Roberta (publisher)
Cantow, Roberta (distributor)
Other credits
Music, Bronwen Jones.
Distributor subjects
Women's StudiesKeywords
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(gentle music )
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(gentle music continues)
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(birds chirping)
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- [Participant] It is through imagining
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that we can begin to change.
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(gentle music)
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(Various women speakers follow)
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(Participant) It's not
necessarily about the future,
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and it's not necessarily about the past,
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it's about another state of being.
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It's about the invisible.
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All that is not informed
represents the dreamtime.
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(gentle music)
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For example, you probably
know that the Aborigines
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have songs and those songs keep them
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moving towards a certain destination.
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Not everyone has the same songs.
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Different tribes have different songs,
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but they all interconnect with each other.
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(bird cawing)
(gentle music)
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It's a different place of consciousness.
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(gentle dramatic music)
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The dreamtime is about
that which is invisible
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and waiting to be
revealed or brought forth.
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When we go into ritual,
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in those moments, we know
it is all fully present
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within our own being.
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So it's about revealing it
and then bringing it forth.
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(slow dramatic music)
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(birds chirping) - (Participant) The
language of my people is a language
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like a river...
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Always moving, changing
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Everything connected.
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The same is true for a woman's blood.
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Every bloodtime is different,
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a new healing, learning in a woman's life.
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But truly, you have all the teachings
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you will ever need in your blood.
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Every blood time has its own grandmother,
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not all grandmothers we can see.
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But if a woman sits quiet with herself
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and asks to know, the
medicine of that bloodtime
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will be revealed to her.
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And as she bleeds through
the seasons of her life,
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she will grow wise because she
will know what it feels like
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to be woman standing on the earth
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and woman planting seeds and
woman reaching up to the sun.
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And when the last of her moons has passed,
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she will be a grandmother in the world,
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who can teach the daughters
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that their blood is not
one thing, but many things.
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- [Participant] The blood
follows us throughout the journey
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of our life, whether it's
with us or no longer there.
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- Bloodtime, moontime, dreamtime,
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and the woman's journey it's something
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I care about passionately,
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not only as a woman but
also for my culture.
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I have a counseling practice
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and I work with a lot
of women in particular,
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helping them through the
landmark times of womanhood.
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(haunting music, drums beaing)
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- Every rite of passage in our
life is connected to blood.
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- Our mysteries are five blood mysteries.
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We actually acknowledge
that there is a birth,
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which is your own birth.
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(foreboding music)
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- We enter the world coated in
blood, but it is moon blood.
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It is the woman's blood
that coats the baby.
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- The menarche, which is when a young girl
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begins to bleed.
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There's mothering when
you birth your own child,
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and that time may also be not
just in creating children,
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but this fertile time of
being the mother maker
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of all of your visions and dreams
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as a child coming to fruition.
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The next blood mystery is menopause.
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The threshold that we cross
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when we begin to hold our own blood
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and we become what's
considered a young Crone,
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we begin to wisen and
deepen as we hold the blood.
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That is the wisdom of life itself.
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- [Participant] And instead of
wasting away the great magic
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of her blood, she holds
it and becomes wise,
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a wise woman and a leader.
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- [Participnt] And then comes death.
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- [Participant] And then death
very often involves blood
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and if not blood, it involves the heart,
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the great blood muscle, stopping.
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- [Paticipant] The
ultimate transformation,
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which brings us back into
the cycle of death to birth,
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from womb to tomb.
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- (Participant)You know,
there were three phases
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of the sacred feminine.
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The virgin, the mother, and
the Crone and Christianity
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was able to absorb the first two,
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like the Virgin Mary and work with it.
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But the Crone was so
threatening because the Crone
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represented really the crown.
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She was the crowning power,
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and in that she was an authority threat.
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Plus, she's also so much of a death figure
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and our culture is not really
able to deal with death.
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And she is the destroyer
goddess and the birth goddess.
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So she's all these things in one.
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- Then I realized that it's
not just birth tied to death.
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There is that passage through
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that wound that is part of life.
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So I had birth and a wound and death,
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endless birth and beautiful wounds
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had to do with experiencing pain
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and then pushing forth
for change in your life.
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We never really die.
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We sort of cycle through
an endless beginning.
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And even the things that
we find to be the end
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are often new beginnings.
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Life really turns out to be
a series of endless births
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with the beautiful wounds
pushing us to new levels.
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(gentle music)
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- (Participant) I have found
intention to be the most
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powerful tool in my toolbox
of life,...to set an intention
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to plant the seeds,
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to blossom into the fruition of dreams.
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As a young woman, I floundered
...so many paths I could take.
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Which would I choose?
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Which one would not be a mistake?
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I've learned over time
it was not the path,
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but the intention that
held my dreams intact.
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(Participant chanting)
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- Ritual captures for us what
it is that we want to exist.
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Ritual is synonymous with intention.
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- To look at our inner life,
to look at our metaphoric life,
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to look at our soul images, if you will.
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We need ritual in order to be in contact
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with the meaning of our lives.
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That I think is the purpose of ritual.
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And what I saw was people
creating various versions
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of rituals, some borrowed,
some completely improvised
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that have meaning to,
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that have meaning to them.
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(participant laughing)
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Ritual space does allow
people to have a heightened
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awareness of their own experience,
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because they're activating all the senses
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and each sense has its own form
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of intelligence and language.
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So when we're involved with
things that heighten our senses,
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we're going to have an extraordinary,
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a non-ordinary experience.
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And this is why we, as I like to say,
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go through the burning door.
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Why we enter that ritual space is to have
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some kind of a change of
ordinary consciousness.
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You see yourself in
relationship to metaphors
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and images that are extraordinary.
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(gong sounding)
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- This is kind of a self-made practice.
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I start with a little breathing exercise,
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express gratitude for
having another day of life.
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And I ring the gong to
wake up the qi in the house
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and in my being and in
all my energy centers.
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And then I let incense
in front of Guan Yin
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to honor the female aspect of my life.
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I do a prayer or a mantra to
bless and protect the house
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and express gratitude for having the space
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for all living beings in the
space and outta the space.
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And thank the universe for that.
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After having been confronted
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with a life-threatening
disease and coming through it,
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every breath, every day,
every minute is precious
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and valued and celebrated.
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So yes, I thank the universe for my life,
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for this body, and all
life in the universe.
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- There's a sort of
mystery attached to ritual
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that I think is very precious.
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You never know what's gonna happen,
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even if you plan it out real perfectly,
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there's still some magic that can happen.
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- In writing out my life story,
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told someone for the first
time that I'd been raped at 13
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and my therapist suggested that I go home
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and make a little doll
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that represented me at that
time to give me a way to release
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the emotions and create
some ritual about healing
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and give this story somewhere to go.
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And what I found myself
doing was sewing by hand
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this tiny little creature
who's anatomically correct
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and reliving the experience
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and I bandaged up her ears
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from the things I'd heard.
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And I bandaged up her genitalia
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because it affected me as a sexual being,
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as a woman, the loss of innocence,
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my sense of responsibility,
and it's all my fault.
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I bandaged everything of her heart.
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Her heart had been broken,
all the ways it scarred me.
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(Gentle Music) I wrote a song
and I took her down to the ocean
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and I prayed over her and
unwrapped the bandages
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and I buried them in the sand.
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And it was the single most powerful
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healing experience of my life.
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(Comforting music)You know, I was
stitch by stitch telling this story,
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and having it come out differently for me.
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And then I made her this little dress,
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and this is her little
tool belt, you know,
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for getting on in the world.
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Her little wand, just symbols,
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you know, being a powerful woman.
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(gentle music continues)
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I began to study other
cultures, use of dolls,
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icons, fetishes, totems as
tools for transformation
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in ritual and myth and folklore,
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and came across the goddess.
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And that really opened the box
for me about what women are.
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And you know, I found those archetypes,
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that giant, giant bag of options for me.
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So I started making little
cloth creatures about them.
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That's how it started.
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(gentle music)
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- When I look at all
of the different things
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that we're doing, all the
rituals that are being created,
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all of the ways that we
are marking our transitions
00:13:34.410 --> 00:13:38.040
through life, I would
say that we are the key
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to our own creation.
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All the things that actually
make us feel whole in ourselves
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are things that we are willing to make up.
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(birds chirping)
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- And the development of
people making their own life
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transitions beautiful and public,
00:13:57.780 --> 00:14:02.760
and taking the time and
the care and the thought
00:14:02.760 --> 00:14:07.760
to make these transition
points more important.
00:14:07.920 --> 00:14:12.720
And they're imbuing them with
their own meaning and symbols
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and saying for themselves
00:14:15.540 --> 00:14:17.488
what the meaning and importance is.
00:14:17.488 --> 00:14:18.982
(gentle music)
00:14:18.982 --> 00:14:21.844
(birds chirping)
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(children faintly shouting)
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(gentle music continues)
00:14:37.650 --> 00:14:41.880
- What will happen is
Robin will move forward
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and she's going to be
lighting these candles.
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Just when you finish one breath,
00:14:45.900 --> 00:14:47.373
just continue with the sound.
00:14:48.210 --> 00:14:50.520
And we're putting our
intention into the candle
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for Robin and the baby that
she has a really beautiful,
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perfect labor, and birth.
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We call forth the energy of
the east place of illumination.
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Place of enlightenment,
it's a place of the eagle,
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and we call forth our
beloved earth mother.
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And we feel your crystalline heart beating
00:15:10.620 --> 00:15:12.270
within our own hearts,
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that we feel supported by you
as you support us in all ways.
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(group chanting)
00:15:27.527 --> 00:15:31.489
♪ Deepen your heart ♪
00:15:31.489 --> 00:15:36.101
♪ Lives a divine light ♪
00:15:36.101 --> 00:15:39.544
♪ I honor that light ♪
00:15:39.544 --> 00:15:41.961
♪ Within you ♪
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This is the way it's meant to be,
00:15:44.370 --> 00:15:48.270
women supporting the
mother, the pregnant mother,
00:15:48.270 --> 00:15:51.390
as she moves into her
birthing of her baby girl,
00:15:51.390 --> 00:15:52.652
her baby boy.
00:15:52.652 --> 00:15:55.410
(women singing)
00:15:55.410 --> 00:15:57.150
Standing for each other,
00:15:57.150 --> 00:15:59.190
remembering the mother mysteries,
00:15:59.190 --> 00:16:01.800
remembering the power of
what it means to be a woman.
00:16:01.800 --> 00:16:04.620
Supporting our sister as
she goes through the most
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magnificent act of
creation on this planet.
00:16:13.251 --> 00:16:14.640
You know, you feel our support.
00:16:14.640 --> 00:16:19.440
So as you enter into labor,
you trust your birthing body,
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.930
you trust your laboring body.
00:16:21.930 --> 00:16:24.750
You trust the wisdom that this body knows
00:16:24.750 --> 00:16:26.763
how to birth your baby in a good way.
00:16:27.976 --> 00:16:30.143
♪ We will ♪
00:16:33.151 --> 00:16:36.115
- [Host] We will hold
our hands up like this.
00:16:36.115 --> 00:16:38.538
(gentle music with drum beat)
00:16:38.538 --> 00:16:42.371
(singing in foreign language)
00:16:56.837 --> 00:17:00.420
- One of the things of
interest to me is the notion
00:17:00.420 --> 00:17:04.352
of creating art or ritual in community.
00:17:04.352 --> 00:17:09.330
I think that in 21st century America,
00:17:09.330 --> 00:17:12.450
there has been a great
emphasis on our individuality
00:17:12.450 --> 00:17:16.083
and therefore a great need for community.
00:17:16.950 --> 00:17:21.300
So one of the values of working
in groups or communities
00:17:21.300 --> 00:17:23.763
is the notion of being
witnessed by someone.
00:17:24.600 --> 00:17:27.600
I like to say that a group
acts as an amplifier,
00:17:27.600 --> 00:17:32.100
it magnifies its effect on me.
00:17:32.100 --> 00:17:33.780
And then of course I have witnesses,
00:17:33.780 --> 00:17:35.370
who are seeing what I'm doing,
00:17:35.370 --> 00:17:38.540
which can be very, very positive.
00:17:38.540 --> 00:17:40.110
(women laughing)
00:17:40.110 --> 00:17:42.690
- Witness in and of itself is one of the
00:17:42.690 --> 00:17:46.980
biggest gifts that we give
to each other as women
00:17:46.980 --> 00:17:51.450
supporting women, birthing
women, birthing other women,
00:17:51.450 --> 00:17:54.060
birthing their ideas,
birthing their hopes,
00:17:54.060 --> 00:17:56.700
their dreams, their creativity,
00:17:56.700 --> 00:18:00.420
whether it's art on canvas
or art out in the world,
00:18:00.420 --> 00:18:02.613
living a life that works for them.
00:18:04.380 --> 00:18:09.330
The way that this piece
ended up asked for the title:
00:18:09.330 --> 00:18:12.483
From here, all the
Christs, all the Buddhas
00:18:12.483 --> 00:18:14.013
entered the world.
00:18:15.750 --> 00:18:19.620
I call my type of art, embody art.
00:18:19.620 --> 00:18:22.530
And by printing with my body,
00:18:22.530 --> 00:18:25.410
I actually am embodying the work
00:18:25.410 --> 00:18:27.930
and I am leaving the image behind
00:18:27.930 --> 00:18:29.760
after I do the printing.
00:18:29.760 --> 00:18:34.710
I started the process of
printing with my body by working
00:18:34.710 --> 00:18:39.270
with an expressive arts
modality called body writing.
00:18:39.270 --> 00:18:44.270
It's a very powerful weekend
process in which women
00:18:44.670 --> 00:18:49.670
form a sacred circle that
involves trust, journaling,
00:18:51.120 --> 00:18:52.863
a sense of safety.
00:18:54.390 --> 00:18:55.890
The biggest part of the process
00:18:55.890 --> 00:18:58.385
is actually printing with their bodies,
00:18:58.385 --> 00:19:03.385
leaving behind a map to any area of life
00:19:03.540 --> 00:19:06.420
that they're currently
bringing to the circle
00:19:06.420 --> 00:19:10.403
within the group of women for witness.
00:19:10.403 --> 00:19:13.927
Mysterious music) And
throughout this process,
00:19:13.927 --> 00:19:16.550
over the years, I've discovered
00:19:16.550 --> 00:19:19.490
that have the most to reveal to me,
00:19:20.490 --> 00:19:23.460
and the ones that will
tell the biggest story
00:19:23.460 --> 00:19:27.930
and move me along the furthest
on my own personal journey,
00:19:27.930 --> 00:19:32.723
are the body prints that
have a deep story to tell.
00:19:32.723 --> 00:19:35.306
(gentle music)
00:19:41.190 --> 00:19:44.160
There is a lot of the
birthing process going on
00:19:44.160 --> 00:19:45.810
during that weekend.
00:19:45.810 --> 00:19:50.280
Women actually birth these images into
00:19:50.280 --> 00:19:52.863
what ends up as a piece of art.
00:19:54.810 --> 00:19:57.420
- To me, this piece speaks
about the stunning power
00:19:57.420 --> 00:20:01.020
of the feminine creative
principle and about the empowering
00:20:01.020 --> 00:20:03.390
that's really available
to women being connected
00:20:03.390 --> 00:20:07.830
to all living humans
through mitochondrial DNA
00:20:07.830 --> 00:20:09.690
passed down by the mother,
00:20:09.690 --> 00:20:12.263
through the mother line, through the egg.
00:20:12.263 --> 00:20:14.220
(gentle music)
00:20:14.220 --> 00:20:16.200
- And I think our imagination
00:20:16.200 --> 00:20:18.960
is a very underutilized resource.
00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:23.010
It is through imagining
that we can begin to change.
00:20:23.010 --> 00:20:25.950
We can imagine a new way of being.
00:20:25.950 --> 00:20:27.480
It is through imagination,
00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:29.746
I think, that we have the courage
00:20:29.746 --> 00:20:32.100
to move forward in our lives.
00:20:32.100 --> 00:20:34.740
One of the things that I strive
to do as an expressive arts
00:20:34.740 --> 00:20:39.740
therapist is have people
imagine the solution,
00:20:40.080 --> 00:20:44.490
and use art to help flesh
that out in a sensory way,
00:20:44.490 --> 00:20:48.147
so that we can imagine
ourselves moving through change
00:20:48.147 --> 00:20:52.170
and transition and using
really what we've always used.
00:20:52.170 --> 00:20:56.717
Ritual, the arts, these are powerful tools
00:20:56.717 --> 00:20:58.710
and connected to the imagination
00:20:58.710 --> 00:21:00.410
that's where they get their power.
00:21:03.008 --> 00:21:05.490
I'm the director of the
Expressive Arts Institute,
00:21:05.490 --> 00:21:06.840
San Diego.
00:21:06.840 --> 00:21:10.866
It's based on the premise
that art making is per se
00:21:10.866 --> 00:21:15.866
helpful activity for people
who are in transition
00:21:16.350 --> 00:21:20.161
to make change or manage
change in their lives.
00:21:20.161 --> 00:21:22.828
(gentle music)
00:21:23.790 --> 00:21:26.430
- [Participant] Once I was
captivated by this doll making
00:21:26.430 --> 00:21:30.690
process in that they could
hold my focus and the more
00:21:30.690 --> 00:21:34.023
they held my focus, the more
things changed inside of me.
00:21:34.023 --> 00:21:38.464
In Africa, they build little
dolls out of wood and sticks
00:21:38.464 --> 00:21:40.470
and they're little vessels.
00:21:40.470 --> 00:21:42.600
And when something traumatic happens,
00:21:42.600 --> 00:21:46.440
like the death of someone
or famine or a crop failure,
00:21:46.440 --> 00:21:50.040
they take those intense, painful emotions.
00:21:50.040 --> 00:21:52.680
They put them in the
vessel and they seal it up
00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:54.300
and they put it on a shelf,
00:21:54.300 --> 00:21:56.280
so that they can go
about the daily business
00:21:56.280 --> 00:21:59.070
that they have to attend to
and then they can come back
00:21:59.070 --> 00:22:00.240
and revisit it.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.770
They also use these vessels
to put positive intentions
00:22:04.770 --> 00:22:08.010
for that situation inside the vessel.
00:22:08.010 --> 00:22:10.690
And when they want that energy activated,
00:22:10.690 --> 00:22:13.945
they drive a nail in it,
break it, and release it.
00:22:15.300 --> 00:22:17.820
So I started looking
at my dolls as vessels,
00:22:17.820 --> 00:22:19.980
and I started to put things inside them,
00:22:19.980 --> 00:22:23.370
and I create little amulets
that may have physical symbols,
00:22:23.370 --> 00:22:27.573
charms, stones, herbs,
powders, whatever I want.
00:22:28.710 --> 00:22:29.880
They're buried in the bellies
00:22:29.880 --> 00:22:32.223
or in the chest, depending, you know,
00:22:34.320 --> 00:22:36.870
like the orange piece in
there that I'm working on.
00:22:38.250 --> 00:22:43.020
I have a list of intentions
I am concentrating on
00:22:43.020 --> 00:22:46.683
and focusing my thoughts and my energy.
00:22:48.090 --> 00:22:49.650
It's bead by bead.
00:22:49.650 --> 00:22:52.080
It's that magical art of sewing to me
00:22:52.080 --> 00:22:55.800
that it's casting a spell
and building energy.
00:22:55.800 --> 00:22:59.733
So intentions are a
primary part of my work.
00:23:00.840 --> 00:23:01.803
It's a totem.
00:23:02.730 --> 00:23:07.260
My totem about embracing
change and helping
00:23:07.260 --> 00:23:09.450
to actually manifest the changes
00:23:09.450 --> 00:23:12.060
that seem to be taking place in my life.
00:23:12.060 --> 00:23:14.970
And one of them is about
becoming more visible.
00:23:14.970 --> 00:23:17.839
This is about helping me have
the courage, the stamina,
00:23:17.839 --> 00:23:22.593
the determination, whatever I need to do.
00:23:24.930 --> 00:23:27.630
- [Participant] Some of
the activities express
00:23:27.630 --> 00:23:32.630
a trend in our culture,
where people are taking back
00:23:34.500 --> 00:23:38.640
their own aesthetic experiences
00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:43.640
and trying to come to their
own authority in making art
00:23:43.931 --> 00:23:47.220
that speaks about them and their lives,
00:23:47.220 --> 00:23:51.300
so that they can experience
the power of creativity
00:23:51.300 --> 00:23:54.270
in relation to their
own life and the themes
00:23:54.270 --> 00:23:56.310
that are in their lives.
00:23:56.310 --> 00:24:00.990
A lot of women, particularly,
are interested in the body
00:24:00.990 --> 00:24:03.423
and the bodily felt experiences.
00:24:10.680 --> 00:24:14.100
- The body casts after I had decorated it,
00:24:14.100 --> 00:24:15.033
I didn't like it.
00:24:16.710 --> 00:24:18.990
When I came out of the form,
00:24:18.990 --> 00:24:21.870
I loved the form and saw my body in a way
00:24:21.870 --> 00:24:23.790
I'd never seen it before.
00:24:23.790 --> 00:24:26.220
When I began to decorate it,
00:24:26.220 --> 00:24:28.380
that's when I had judgment come up,
00:24:28.380 --> 00:24:31.560
and I went, "Oh, it's not
as good as everyone else's
00:24:31.560 --> 00:24:32.640
and it's too different.
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:36.217
And I eventually got to a
place where I could say,
00:24:36.217 --> 00:24:37.893
"Yes, this is who I am.
00:24:40.110 --> 00:24:43.050
"Let me be as I am.
00:24:43.050 --> 00:24:46.500
She wanted to mold me into
being like everyone else.
00:24:46.500 --> 00:24:50.850
It's why I grew to hate
my own self-expression.
00:24:50.850 --> 00:24:54.324
It hurt so much to conform, but I tried.
00:24:54.324 --> 00:24:58.350
Along the way, I lost my essential self.
00:24:58.350 --> 00:25:00.000
As the body casts came off,
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.393
I began to remember the
beauty of my original self.
00:25:04.320 --> 00:25:07.980
And then I began to express
her with splashes of color,
00:25:07.980 --> 00:25:12.780
paint, slivers of glass,
sequence, shells, and feathers.
00:25:12.780 --> 00:25:15.633
She became without conscious intention
00:25:15.633 --> 00:25:17.583
all that I had become.
00:25:18.600 --> 00:25:20.520
My mother once told me,
00:25:20.520 --> 00:25:23.823
you just have to accept what
life brings you, who you are.
00:25:24.930 --> 00:25:27.993
But why couldn't she accept me as I was?.
00:25:29.040 --> 00:25:33.210
Finally, this woman
that is me has returned.
00:25:33.210 --> 00:25:36.180
I look on her form and
see that she will change
00:25:36.180 --> 00:25:37.410
again and again,
00:25:37.410 --> 00:25:40.950
now liberating from the confines
of my mother's conditioning
00:25:40.950 --> 00:25:42.900
and later my own.
00:25:42.900 --> 00:25:47.553
Let me be as I am for it brings me joy".
00:25:48.780 --> 00:25:50.400
I feel like the weekend for me
00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:55.400
was about birthing my
sacred self in female form.
00:26:00.120 --> 00:26:05.021
I wanted to really
accept my body as it was.
00:26:05.021 --> 00:26:06.150
(gentle music)
00:26:06.150 --> 00:26:07.620
If I couldn't love my body,
00:26:07.620 --> 00:26:10.320
if I couldn't come to a place
of acceptance for the way
00:26:10.320 --> 00:26:13.230
that I was expressing my own body,
00:26:13.230 --> 00:26:16.470
how could I really do what
makes my heart dance?,
00:26:16.470 --> 00:26:21.205
which is really what is
going to serve in my world
00:26:21.205 --> 00:26:24.030
'cause I think if we
do what brings us joy,
00:26:24.030 --> 00:26:27.630
it brings us the peace,
it brings us the love,
00:26:27.630 --> 00:26:29.453
and that unites us.
00:26:29.453 --> 00:26:32.120
(gentle music)
00:26:39.510 --> 00:26:41.850
The wholeness that I think
is required right now
00:26:41.850 --> 00:26:46.850
on the planet is the revealing
of the divine feminine.
00:26:48.090 --> 00:26:52.650
Because it has been separate
or even ignored for so long
00:26:52.650 --> 00:26:55.080
as we pay attention to something,
00:26:55.080 --> 00:26:57.449
it naturally becomes integrated
00:26:57.449 --> 00:27:00.933
for more wholeness to reveal itself.
00:27:02.040 --> 00:27:07.040
For me, the divine feminine
represents the life force
00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:11.358
that allows us to express who we are.
00:27:11.358 --> 00:27:14.025
(gentle music)
00:27:15.180 --> 00:27:19.830
Each woman is using her individual
talents in bringing forth
00:27:19.830 --> 00:27:22.320
a new level of consciousness,
00:27:22.320 --> 00:27:25.668
a new way of being on this planet.
00:27:25.668 --> 00:27:28.335
(gentle music)
00:27:32.250 --> 00:27:33.810
- And I had a near death experience
00:27:33.810 --> 00:27:38.460
when I was 19 years old that
really opened me up to the most
00:27:38.460 --> 00:27:43.460
direct connection of spirit
living so powerfully through me.
00:27:43.500 --> 00:27:44.880
And in the near death experience,
00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:48.300
it was as if spirit took
me like a magical bird
00:27:48.300 --> 00:27:50.880
on a ride throughout the universe.
00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:53.430
And yet when I came back
to my day-to-day life,
00:27:53.430 --> 00:27:55.716
I had to learn to come back in my body.
00:27:55.716 --> 00:28:00.210
And part of the way I did
that was through the arts.
00:28:00.210 --> 00:28:04.230
So it was a natural part of
the creative process as I began
00:28:04.230 --> 00:28:08.340
to heal myself and share
my experience with others
00:28:08.340 --> 00:28:12.015
in the community, that people
were naturally gravitated
00:28:12.015 --> 00:28:14.641
to move into more of their wholeness.
00:28:14.641 --> 00:28:19.641
So this form is a
celebration of who we are,
00:28:21.570 --> 00:28:25.840
as spirit in these magnificent bodies.
00:28:25.840 --> 00:28:28.507
(gentle music)
00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:34.140
- This is the doll that
came to me in the dream.
00:28:34.140 --> 00:28:36.960
She represents Shakti,
00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:41.960
the Hindu goddess of the
heavens who spread the planets
00:28:42.090 --> 00:28:46.110
and the stars and the divine feminine.
00:28:46.110 --> 00:28:50.100
And I never seen myself as
a dancer or light-hearted
00:28:50.100 --> 00:28:53.310
or flying across the stage,
00:28:53.310 --> 00:28:57.090
but this I know lives within me
00:28:57.090 --> 00:29:00.930
and that's what the divine
feminine does for us.
00:29:00.930 --> 00:29:05.490
And I have this nature and
this encourages me to live it
00:29:05.490 --> 00:29:09.870
in some other fashion, though
I'm not a dancer, you know.
00:29:09.870 --> 00:29:14.870
She was a beginning, a
real opening to my soul.
00:29:16.230 --> 00:29:20.340
There is something bigger
than who we are physically
00:29:20.340 --> 00:29:21.900
that lives within us.
00:29:21.900 --> 00:29:26.900
And the feminine is a potent
and powerful source of healing.
00:29:28.592 --> 00:29:31.259
(gentle music)
00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:38.406
This enormous fertility and
life that we give to the world,
00:29:38.406 --> 00:29:40.833
it's really attached to the belly.
00:29:44.670 --> 00:29:48.030
There's an old folk tale
that women have two hearts,
00:29:48.030 --> 00:29:50.398
one in their breast and one in their womb.
00:29:50.398 --> 00:29:53.610
So this is my honoring the beautiful noise
00:29:53.610 --> 00:29:56.730
that a woman's wisdom and a woman's story
00:29:56.730 --> 00:29:58.650
is a beautiful noise to the universe.
00:29:58.650 --> 00:30:03.240
And I do believe if the
feminine was recognized
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:05.250
and honored more in the world,
00:30:05.250 --> 00:30:08.013
things would be different
and they still can be.
00:30:11.670 --> 00:30:16.380
Women are community builders,
soothsayers, and peacemakers.
00:30:16.380 --> 00:30:18.093
We're not conquerors.
00:30:20.040 --> 00:30:23.163
The divine feminine gives birth, gestates.
00:30:25.140 --> 00:30:28.530
We bleed, we get to bleed.
00:30:28.530 --> 00:30:33.270
We have a way of releasing
things out of our bodies,
00:30:33.270 --> 00:30:35.708
and I think that's sacred.
00:30:35.708 --> 00:30:38.820
(gentle music)
00:30:38.820 --> 00:30:40.950
- And there's a Jewish
concept called Tikkun Olam,
00:30:40.950 --> 00:30:43.050
which is to repair the world.
00:30:43.050 --> 00:30:45.494
And if we're looking for
ways to repair things,
00:30:45.494 --> 00:30:48.153
then we're already setting a tone.
00:30:50.850 --> 00:30:54.150
When I was 18, when I started
doing Jewish renewal ritual,
00:30:54.150 --> 00:30:57.180
I was just delighted to
learn this word Shekhinah,
00:30:57.180 --> 00:31:00.270
which can be translated to
mean "in dwelling presence,"
00:31:00.270 --> 00:31:02.679
"womb like one," the breast of God."
00:31:02.679 --> 00:31:05.857
And women weren't allowed
to study Torah for so long,
00:31:05.857 --> 00:31:10.110
and so they didn't know that
there was this definition
00:31:10.110 --> 00:31:12.270
of the divine that was the person,
00:31:12.270 --> 00:31:16.290
who's inside themselves or the
person who's dwelling within.
00:31:16.290 --> 00:31:18.546
That's just a much more friendly concept.
00:31:18.546 --> 00:31:21.780
(gentle music)
00:31:21.780 --> 00:31:24.147
- Mikvah is a Jewish ritual cleansing that
00:31:24.147 --> 00:31:27.030
women are required to
do at least once a month
00:31:27.030 --> 00:31:29.640
when they're bleeding
and if they're married.
00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:32.700
For me, it's a transformative tool,
00:31:32.700 --> 00:31:33.690
that as a Jewish woman,
00:31:33.690 --> 00:31:36.033
I wanna reclaim in a positive sense.
00:31:37.260 --> 00:31:40.950
For me, Mikvah is about
coming back to center,
00:31:40.950 --> 00:31:42.757
my deeper self.
00:31:42.757 --> 00:31:44.520
(crow cawing)
00:31:44.520 --> 00:31:46.080
There's several things in a Mikvah
00:31:46.080 --> 00:31:47.400
that are really important.
00:31:47.400 --> 00:31:49.300
It's considered a kind of birth,
00:31:49.300 --> 00:31:53.249
and you are not to be in
contact with either the air
00:31:53.249 --> 00:31:56.209
or the ground, so that you're completely
00:31:56.209 --> 00:31:58.860
in touch with only water.
00:31:58.860 --> 00:32:00.450
And the water has to be living water.
00:32:00.450 --> 00:32:03.390
And it can't just be a
bathtub or a hot tub.
00:32:03.390 --> 00:32:05.400
I usually do Mikvah once a month
00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:07.500
to let go of whatever things
00:32:07.500 --> 00:32:09.873
I need to let go of or
cleanse myself from.
00:32:11.160 --> 00:32:14.760
I've had a lot of concerns
this pregnancy about the health
00:32:14.760 --> 00:32:17.883
of the baby and about
everything working out okay.
00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:21.213
My intention, my kavana for this Mitvah,
00:32:22.320 --> 00:32:26.190
is to release into the
pregnancy and into the birth
00:32:26.190 --> 00:32:27.990
and to honor it.
00:32:27.990 --> 00:32:29.583
And to honor this baby.
00:32:31.110 --> 00:32:35.642
I can just move into a place
of acceptance and lack of fear.
00:32:35.642 --> 00:32:38.034
(birds chirping)
00:32:38.034 --> 00:32:40.784
(water sloshing)
00:32:48.436 --> 00:32:51.861
Blessed are you oh, deep and cold water.
00:32:51.861 --> 00:32:54.611
(water sloshing)
00:32:56.286 --> 00:32:59.453
(participant gasping)
00:33:01.778 --> 00:33:05.695
(chanting in Hebrew)
00:33:25.321 --> 00:33:28.071
(water sloshing)
00:33:29.305 --> 00:33:31.527
(participant gasping)
00:33:31.527 --> 00:33:33.694
Mikvgah is hard sometimes.
00:33:36.197 --> 00:33:37.030
It's okay.
00:33:39.236 --> 00:33:42.403
(participant sobbing)
00:33:51.207 --> 00:33:52.770
(birds chirping)
00:33:52.770 --> 00:33:55.170
It's cold and it's dark
and you're very alone.
00:33:55.170 --> 00:33:56.940
It's just you and the water.
00:33:56.940 --> 00:34:00.393
And so that brings up
feelings from a deep place.
00:34:02.790 --> 00:34:04.740
It's just stuff that needs to release
00:34:04.740 --> 00:34:06.840
and I need to let go of it.
00:34:06.840 --> 00:34:10.290
I've been holding onto this
for the whole pregnancy,
00:34:10.290 --> 00:34:13.050
and it feels really good to just feel like
00:34:13.050 --> 00:34:14.703
I've let it go into the water.
00:34:17.160 --> 00:34:19.170
When you give birth,
00:34:19.170 --> 00:34:21.873
it's just this complete
process of surrender,
00:34:22.770 --> 00:34:26.310
and it's really about being
able to cry and scream
00:34:26.310 --> 00:34:28.773
and shout. I was opening that door.
00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:32.613
Mikvah is something you
do over and over again.
00:34:34.350 --> 00:34:37.350
It becomes a part of your process
00:34:37.350 --> 00:34:39.870
and a part of your ability
to be a powerful woman
00:34:39.870 --> 00:34:43.260
in the world and to reclaim the sanctity
00:34:43.260 --> 00:34:45.297
of our body experiences.
00:34:45.297 --> 00:34:48.793
(forlorn music)
00:34:48.793 --> 00:34:51.876
(singers vocalizing)
00:34:57.960 --> 00:35:01.380
(New participant) It is just all
moving through at the same time.
00:35:01.380 --> 00:35:05.103
We are dying and being born all the time.
00:35:06.975 --> 00:35:09.558
(solemn music)
00:35:23.702 --> 00:35:28.290
- Having been at death's
door with a diagnosis
00:35:28.290 --> 00:35:31.380
of end stage cancer many years ago,
00:35:31.380 --> 00:35:34.230
I had to confront that
whole issue of mortality
00:35:34.230 --> 00:35:37.230
and really be with that concept of death
00:35:37.230 --> 00:35:38.730
of where I could totally accept it
00:35:38.730 --> 00:35:41.343
and view it as as a transition.
00:35:42.180 --> 00:35:47.180
It's my journey from
death's door to wellness
00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:49.920
and the transformation that occurred
00:35:49.920 --> 00:35:52.590
burning through old belief systems
00:35:52.590 --> 00:35:56.580
that bound me to an imbalance existence.
00:35:56.580 --> 00:36:00.870
So the female figure makes
her way up the mountain
00:36:00.870 --> 00:36:02.970
through the lotus blossom there,
00:36:02.970 --> 00:36:05.610
the seat of consciousness,
and burns through the old
00:36:05.610 --> 00:36:09.300
illusions and belief systems,
and goes up out of the ashes,
00:36:09.300 --> 00:36:11.370
the phoenix rising, if you will,
00:36:11.370 --> 00:36:14.313
into the golden sunlight
of happiness and health.
00:36:15.780 --> 00:36:18.567
You know, there was always a fear for me
00:36:18.567 --> 00:36:21.330
and my interpretation of it is that
00:36:21.330 --> 00:36:23.960
you were never good enough to die.
00:36:23.960 --> 00:36:27.990
You know, you had to be
perfect when you die.
00:36:27.990 --> 00:36:30.240
I was always terrified
that I wasn't gonna be good
00:36:30.240 --> 00:36:33.120
enough to go to God.
00:36:33.120 --> 00:36:38.120
And I realized that if
there's anyone that is going
00:36:38.820 --> 00:36:41.973
to accept me for exactly
who I am, it would be God.
00:36:43.410 --> 00:36:45.270
Who else would it be?
00:36:45.270 --> 00:36:47.610
And that was a gift I got
in that whole experience.
00:36:47.610 --> 00:36:49.830
I got comfortable with that.
00:36:49.830 --> 00:36:52.563
That's the cycle; that's healing.
00:36:54.660 --> 00:36:58.590
- I had a really hard
doorway to find myself
00:36:58.590 --> 00:37:03.590
on the other side of when
I lost my only child,
00:37:03.630 --> 00:37:07.020
my son Sean, to suicide.
00:37:07.020 --> 00:37:08.730
He was 24 years old.
00:37:08.730 --> 00:37:11.370
When I was in my grieving process,
00:37:11.370 --> 00:37:15.150
I felt that I just needed
to hear my son's voice.
00:37:15.150 --> 00:37:16.260
And with technology,
00:37:16.260 --> 00:37:18.180
I happened to have an answering machine,
00:37:18.180 --> 00:37:22.230
an old one that had a tape
on it that I could rewind
00:37:22.230 --> 00:37:25.590
and listen to messages from times past.
00:37:25.590 --> 00:37:27.750
And I ran to that answering machine
00:37:27.750 --> 00:37:32.100
as if it were going to give me
the wonders of the universe.
00:37:32.100 --> 00:37:35.620
And somehow and sometimes I
think it was an act of magic
00:37:36.510 --> 00:37:38.490
out of all the messages that I heard,
00:37:38.490 --> 00:37:42.540
and there must have
been,literally ,tens of them,
00:37:42.540 --> 00:37:46.620
my son's voice was not on
that machine, not one time.
00:37:46.620 --> 00:37:51.620
And I realized that day that
I was going to have to go
00:37:52.710 --> 00:37:56.073
from the place of wishing
that I could have him with me,
00:37:57.060 --> 00:38:01.170
to embracing that he had left me
00:38:01.170 --> 00:38:03.630
and that now the meaning of my life
00:38:03.630 --> 00:38:05.223
was going to be up to me.
00:38:06.150 --> 00:38:11.100
And so today, I consider
myself a midwife of transition.
00:38:11.100 --> 00:38:14.250
Most of the people that I
work with doing grief recovery
00:38:14.250 --> 00:38:17.400
work come to me because
they're facing a change
00:38:17.400 --> 00:38:20.853
and they wonder if they can
make it through that change.
00:38:22.020 --> 00:38:24.183
That has become my life's path.
00:38:25.244 --> 00:38:27.911
(gentle music)
00:38:34.350 --> 00:38:38.010
Having an altar to the one
that you have lost is probably
00:38:38.010 --> 00:38:40.413
one of the most important things.
00:38:46.890 --> 00:38:49.133
And that's how I used ritual.
00:38:49.133 --> 00:38:51.800
(gentle music)
00:38:52.860 --> 00:38:57.860
- The story about this
woman, who is looking back
00:38:59.071 --> 00:39:02.800
at the past when there were demons
00:39:03.960 --> 00:39:06.630
that she kept from her children,
00:39:06.630 --> 00:39:11.130
that she didn't let them come
anywhere near her children.
00:39:11.130 --> 00:39:14.190
They grew up in laughter and strength.
00:39:14.190 --> 00:39:16.290
And then when they left,
00:39:16.290 --> 00:39:20.130
she waved them goodbye and she came in
00:39:20.130 --> 00:39:24.210
and slid the brassy bolt too.
00:39:24.210 --> 00:39:26.523
That's one of the best lines I ever wrote.
00:39:27.367 --> 00:39:31.470
"Now, let the demons come if they will."
00:39:31.470 --> 00:39:36.470
In dream time all that I
need, I have in abundance.
00:39:37.890 --> 00:39:41.640
A sheltering roof, a
mug of dark brewed tea,
00:39:41.640 --> 00:39:45.270
a crumbly scone and a peaceful mind.
00:39:45.270 --> 00:39:47.043
All battles done.
00:39:48.090 --> 00:39:51.120
Was it yesterday or many yester years,
00:39:51.120 --> 00:39:54.032
I faced the demons that encircled me
00:39:54.032 --> 00:39:58.320
and struck the blows
that made them disappear
00:39:58.320 --> 00:40:01.890
gathering my children
close under wraps of love.
00:40:01.890 --> 00:40:05.580
They never knew the evil
nor feared the unseen.
00:40:05.580 --> 00:40:09.813
They grew in light and
laughter, tall and strong.
00:40:10.770 --> 00:40:14.340
Tearless then was their leave taking.
00:40:14.340 --> 00:40:18.180
I stood at the Trellis gate
and waved them out of sight,
00:40:18.180 --> 00:40:22.353
closed the door and slid
home the brassy bolt.
00:40:23.310 --> 00:40:26.283
Now let the demons come if they will.
00:40:27.390 --> 00:40:29.850
- In other cultures, when a woman comes
00:40:29.850 --> 00:40:33.970
to her menopausal stature in life
00:40:34.890 --> 00:40:37.740
and becomes a wise blood,
in American culture,
00:40:37.740 --> 00:40:40.380
that woman is marginalized.
00:40:40.380 --> 00:40:42.300
And the women's groups I do,
00:40:42.300 --> 00:40:45.769
the women are all amazed as
they go through menopause
00:40:45.769 --> 00:40:49.890
and how invisible they
become in the culture.
00:40:49.890 --> 00:40:52.173
And we grieve that as women.
00:40:53.940 --> 00:40:57.780
Each stage builds to a grand finale
00:40:57.780 --> 00:41:00.300
of the true crowning glory of the crown
00:41:00.300 --> 00:41:02.190
in her senior status.
00:41:02.190 --> 00:41:05.130
But the beginning of the
Crone is that menopause
00:41:05.130 --> 00:41:08.280
and that turning point
where you hold your blood
00:41:08.280 --> 00:41:10.560
and you turn it into wisdom.
00:41:10.560 --> 00:41:13.413
And that's a great triumph
in a woman's journey.
00:41:14.460 --> 00:41:19.450
- In our blood, we actually
hold the genetic material
00:41:20.610 --> 00:41:25.140
for all of life, all of our
lineage in terms of our species.
00:41:25.140 --> 00:41:30.140
Tapping into that wisdom, we
become deep in our knowledge,
00:41:30.990 --> 00:41:33.333
hopefully, and deep in our experience.
00:41:35.130 --> 00:41:38.850
This particular series has to
do with the gateway passage
00:41:38.850 --> 00:41:42.450
of menopause into the elder
or the upstairs of our life,
00:41:42.450 --> 00:41:44.340
the Crone phase.
00:41:44.340 --> 00:41:49.340
This painting was just my
way of beginning to explore
00:41:49.496 --> 00:41:52.920
what was coming up inside of
me when I entered menopause
00:41:52.920 --> 00:41:57.177
and was hot flashing
and trying to understand
00:41:58.290 --> 00:42:02.160
the particular changes that
were going on in my body.
00:42:02.160 --> 00:42:05.910
And one of them that comes up
in menopause has to do with
00:42:05.910 --> 00:42:08.910
the issue of facing your own mortality.
00:42:08.910 --> 00:42:12.300
You're definitely on the
later stages of your life
00:42:12.300 --> 00:42:15.570
and there is a need to come
to grips with act to birth
00:42:15.570 --> 00:42:17.460
the new life you're
going to have as a Crone,
00:42:17.460 --> 00:42:20.280
which now is really a very long time.
00:42:20.280 --> 00:42:22.560
When you reach into the Crone stage,
00:42:22.560 --> 00:42:25.590
you begin seeing the
connections of all of life,
00:42:25.590 --> 00:42:28.023
the much larger universe
that you're part of.
00:42:28.980 --> 00:42:30.810
And that's both very comforting.
00:42:30.810 --> 00:42:32.310
And I can see where it's frightening
00:42:32.310 --> 00:42:34.470
to some people to look at.
00:42:34.470 --> 00:42:37.800
The wrinkles and the way skin ages
00:42:37.800 --> 00:42:39.240
are like a landscape to me.
00:42:39.240 --> 00:42:41.130
If you notice, this has
almost become a terrain
00:42:41.130 --> 00:42:43.140
like the moon or the earth.
00:42:43.140 --> 00:42:45.390
Instead of it being
something hideous or ugly,
00:42:45.390 --> 00:42:47.220
I'm really into it.
00:42:47.220 --> 00:42:49.713
I'm into the wrinkles.
I love to look at them.
00:42:50.970 --> 00:42:55.590
As a Crone, you have new eyes
and I wanna encourage women
00:42:55.590 --> 00:42:59.850
to use those, not to suppress
it, to fit in with a culture.
00:42:59.850 --> 00:43:02.349
I mean, part of what
I'm doing is welcoming
00:43:02.349 --> 00:43:04.410
this stage of my life.
00:43:04.410 --> 00:43:07.110
And it's a defiance of what the rest
00:43:07.110 --> 00:43:08.343
of the culture is doing.
00:43:09.300 --> 00:43:13.710
- And the basic journey is
the journey to authenticity.
00:43:13.710 --> 00:43:17.433
Who am I as an authentic woman?
00:43:19.230 --> 00:43:21.510
- I have a big birthday coming up.
00:43:21.510 --> 00:43:22.593
I'm going to be 50.
00:43:23.841 --> 00:43:27.810
And I didn't think I had much
really wanted to do that.
00:43:27.810 --> 00:43:31.113
So I thought I would get married instead.
00:43:32.820 --> 00:43:37.820
There were no plausible
candidates to be the groom.
00:43:40.500 --> 00:43:41.970
So I thought, well, you know,
00:43:41.970 --> 00:43:44.403
I would enjoy having
a wedding nonetheless.
00:43:45.810 --> 00:43:50.463
So I went to Oz Stationary
Store and bought my groom.
00:43:52.120 --> 00:43:55.080
(participant laughing)
00:43:55.080 --> 00:43:59.730
I'm nowhere near ready
for a Croning ceremony.
00:43:59.730 --> 00:44:03.390
That's actually part of why
this was what I came up with.
00:44:03.390 --> 00:44:05.040
It's like, no, maybe next year
00:44:05.040 --> 00:44:06.450
I'll be ready for a Croning ceremony.
00:44:06.450 --> 00:44:07.350
But it's like, no,
00:44:07.350 --> 00:44:11.460
I have to, the girl wants something first.
00:44:11.460 --> 00:44:14.155
It really is about
doing something to honor
00:44:14.155 --> 00:44:17.643
the passage of time,
the phases, all of that.
00:44:19.800 --> 00:44:22.383
I'm really marrying a cardboard man.
00:44:24.838 --> 00:44:29.337
And there's that kind of
wonderful peace about that just,
00:44:33.810 --> 00:44:36.030
it's just such a good idea.
00:44:36.030 --> 00:44:37.530
And the more it's really happening,
00:44:37.530 --> 00:44:41.190
the less of a lunatic event it truly is.
00:44:41.190 --> 00:44:43.860
So it's an excuse to have
bunches of friends here
00:44:43.860 --> 00:44:45.090
and we don't have to make a big deal
00:44:45.090 --> 00:44:46.980
about the actual birthday,
00:44:46.980 --> 00:44:47.813
but we're having a celebration.
00:44:47.813 --> 00:44:49.470
(Light joyful music)
00:44:49.470 --> 00:44:52.680
I just think that whether you
happen to have a guy to do
00:44:52.680 --> 00:44:55.560
it with or not, a girl deserves a wedding.
00:44:55.560 --> 00:44:56.670
The first time around,
00:44:56.670 --> 00:44:58.980
we did it like hippies at
a Justice of the Peace.
00:44:58.980 --> 00:45:01.050
And I didn't get to have a wedding.
00:45:01.050 --> 00:45:05.277
I want a wedding, but afar
from viewing it as humiliating.
00:45:05.277 --> 00:45:06.663
- [Crowd Member] Wheres the music?
00:45:06.663 --> 00:45:09.413
(group crooning)
00:45:15.060 --> 00:45:16.781
- I'm giving the bride away today here.
00:45:16.781 --> 00:45:18.720
(group chattering faintly)
00:45:18.720 --> 00:45:21.120
- In times of bliss and a glee.
00:45:21.120 --> 00:45:24.460
I will love thee, with every
recycled fiber of my being.
00:45:24.460 --> 00:45:25.293
(all laughing)
00:45:25.293 --> 00:45:26.693
- I, Elise, take you Cardboard.
00:45:28.765 --> 00:45:31.682
(group applauding)
00:45:32.926 --> 00:45:35.286
(pleasant music)
00:45:35.286 --> 00:45:38.536
(men shouting faintly)
00:45:41.558 --> 00:45:44.391
(pleasant music)
00:45:49.465 --> 00:45:53.220
- I think what we kind of
overlook is that every person
00:45:53.220 --> 00:45:54.360
is male and female.
00:45:54.360 --> 00:45:58.476
And to merge the male and the
female aspects of our nature
00:45:58.476 --> 00:46:00.240
is the ultimate balance.
00:46:00.240 --> 00:46:02.790
By marrying this cardboard man,
00:46:02.790 --> 00:46:05.880
maybe she was just merging
her male and female aspects
00:46:05.880 --> 00:46:07.153
and symbolizing that.
00:46:07.153 --> 00:46:11.167
- A woman in a sense,
marrying herself gets to say,
00:46:11.167 --> 00:46:15.420
"I am the key to my completeness."
00:46:15.420 --> 00:46:17.581
- Ready 1, 2, 3.
00:46:17.581 --> 00:46:18.414
(shutter clicks)
00:46:18.414 --> 00:46:21.000
(all laughing)
00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:23.550
- It's a commitment to
making oneself happy
00:46:23.550 --> 00:46:25.530
and honoring oneself.
00:46:25.530 --> 00:46:28.770
The thing I wanted myself to
get in a way that was joyous
00:46:28.770 --> 00:46:32.400
and delightful and very light was that
00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:36.180
I wasn't gonna have somebody
else take care of me ever.
00:46:36.180 --> 00:46:39.510
- There's a lot of losses
that you go through
00:46:39.510 --> 00:46:41.070
in your menopausal passage,
00:46:41.070 --> 00:46:45.003
but what I know of the
healthy function of grief
00:46:45.003 --> 00:46:50.003
is to create new space for a new identity.
00:46:50.730 --> 00:46:54.450
- I was officially
giving up a deep fantasy
00:46:54.450 --> 00:46:56.250
of Mr. Ghostly Lover,
00:46:56.250 --> 00:46:59.874
but I really wanted that
gone from my heart and soul.
00:46:59.874 --> 00:47:02.580
And I think somehow my wedding
00:47:02.580 --> 00:47:04.473
to Mr. Cardboard really helped.
00:47:05.730 --> 00:47:07.613
It was a good thing to do.
00:47:07.613 --> 00:47:10.280
(drums banging)
00:47:11.370 --> 00:47:14.400
- People think of me as being
kind of in the background
00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:16.290
and as I do things like this,
00:47:16.290 --> 00:47:18.570
that's certainly not in the background
00:47:18.570 --> 00:47:22.053
and it's owning more
of the power than I am.
00:47:22.890 --> 00:47:25.650
- [Ruth] I am Ruth, daughter of Elizabeth,
00:47:25.650 --> 00:47:28.050
granddaughter of Della.
00:47:28.050 --> 00:47:30.407
- [Roxanne] I'm Roxanne,
daughter of Stella,
00:47:30.407 --> 00:47:32.640
granddaughter of Lily.
00:47:32.640 --> 00:47:35.460
- I am Pat, daughter of Gertrude.
00:47:35.460 --> 00:47:37.350
Granddaughter of Sadie.
00:47:37.350 --> 00:47:39.210
- [Participant] When a
woman reaches midlife,
00:47:39.210 --> 00:47:41.400
she's beginning a new life.
00:47:41.400 --> 00:47:44.100
The support she needs
comes from her circle
00:47:44.100 --> 00:47:45.753
and from within herself.
00:47:47.790 --> 00:47:50.643
Remember that beauty works from within.
00:47:51.960 --> 00:47:54.870
- [Participant] My intentions
are to create a space
00:47:54.870 --> 00:47:57.240
where compassion and loving kindness
00:47:57.240 --> 00:47:59.520
are revealed and expressed.
00:47:59.520 --> 00:48:02.940
To live in peace down at
the very depths of my soul,
00:48:02.940 --> 00:48:04.563
where all strain is gone.
00:48:05.880 --> 00:48:09.243
And finally being fully
supported by this work.
00:48:11.415 --> 00:48:13.936
♪ Woman am I ♪
00:48:13.936 --> 00:48:16.356
♪ Spirit am I ♪
00:48:16.356 --> 00:48:21.356
♪ I'm the infinite within my soul ♪
00:48:21.704 --> 00:48:24.032
♪ I have no beginning ♪
00:48:24.032 --> 00:48:27.099
♪ And I have no end ♪
00:48:27.099 --> 00:48:29.766
♪ All this I am ♪
00:48:31.753 --> 00:48:32.853
- She's a Crone.
00:48:32.853 --> 00:48:35.686
(group cheering)
00:48:36.747 --> 00:48:41.310
And it's like owning more
of the power that I am
00:48:41.310 --> 00:48:43.860
and it's seeing myself
in a different light
00:48:43.860 --> 00:48:44.880
and that feels good.
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:47.580
And I guess that's some of
where the tears come from.
00:48:47.580 --> 00:48:49.800
I'm owning more who I am.
00:48:49.800 --> 00:48:54.000
- I decided I wanted to
join a writing group,
00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:57.750
and I leafed through the
catalog from the writing center
00:48:57.750 --> 00:49:02.347
and I said, here's a
one day seminar called
00:49:02.347 --> 00:49:07.347
"The Crone, the Older but Wiser Woman."
00:49:07.560 --> 00:49:10.140
And I said, well now that's me.
00:49:10.140 --> 00:49:11.837
That should be interesting.
00:49:11.837 --> 00:49:16.837
And that's how I got
into writing seriously.
00:49:17.130 --> 00:49:19.950
Joan, our fearless leader, said,
00:49:19.950 --> 00:49:23.670
now you've been writing about
your life up to this point.
00:49:23.670 --> 00:49:26.880
Now what are your goals for the future?
00:49:26.880 --> 00:49:29.940
And write about this
last period of your life.
00:49:29.940 --> 00:49:34.260
And I said, "June, I'm in
the last period of my life."
00:49:34.260 --> 00:49:36.423
I have no goals.
00:49:37.860 --> 00:49:39.543
She said, write. (Sound of chimesd)
00:49:40.410 --> 00:49:44.343
And I wrote, what shall I
be when I should be old.
00:49:45.450 --> 00:49:47.790
- We get beards too, you know, our skin,
00:49:47.790 --> 00:49:49.950
just things grow on you.
00:49:49.950 --> 00:49:52.560
One of the women brought in
bundles of sage in the workshop.
00:49:52.560 --> 00:49:54.510
I asked people to bring
in different materials,
00:49:54.510 --> 00:49:58.410
particularly old materials
and organic materials
00:49:58.410 --> 00:50:00.300
that show the beauty of old.
00:50:00.300 --> 00:50:03.030
Each material helps somebody
to express something.
00:50:03.030 --> 00:50:05.010
There's no one way.
00:50:05.010 --> 00:50:07.923
And part of the Crone
is she's a truth teller.
00:50:09.210 --> 00:50:10.770
This is your time to speak
00:50:10.770 --> 00:50:14.456
before you leave this cycle of your life.
00:50:14.456 --> 00:50:17.123
(gentle music)
00:50:20.886 --> 00:50:25.383
There's a lot of power in this
time, a lot of fierceness.
00:50:29.940 --> 00:50:33.663
- And I wrote, what shall
I be when I shall be old?
00:50:38.531 --> 00:50:42.130
What shall I be when I shall be old?
00:50:42.130 --> 00:50:47.130
Shall I be withered,
seared like a fallen leaf,
00:50:47.130 --> 00:50:50.790
brown and wrinkled, fragile?
00:50:50.790 --> 00:50:54.690
Careful now, a sudden misstep might create
00:50:54.690 --> 00:50:58.083
a barely visible pile of dust.
00:50:58.980 --> 00:51:02.203
Shall I instead be fresh and green,
00:51:02.203 --> 00:51:07.203
born of spring rain and gusting
winds, a moment of promise.
00:51:13.920 --> 00:51:17.310
I shall be something in between.
00:51:17.310 --> 00:51:22.310
Neither new nor old, neither
brown nor newborn green.
00:51:24.360 --> 00:51:29.360
I shall be flame all
scarlet, orange and gold,
00:51:29.970 --> 00:51:33.390
still passionate, yearning to live
00:51:33.390 --> 00:51:37.020
and learn with knowledge to impart.
00:51:37.020 --> 00:51:38.973
If there be one to listen,
00:51:40.019 --> 00:51:42.963
I shall not know when I shall be old.
00:51:43.980 --> 00:51:47.643
Only one day I shall no longer be.
00:51:50.370 --> 00:51:52.680
- [Moderator] Welcome to The Crone Show.
00:51:52.680 --> 00:51:55.380
Show evolved from the
Birthing the Crone workshops
00:51:55.380 --> 00:51:59.610
on creativity and aging, as
a way to express ourselves
00:51:59.610 --> 00:52:02.490
as aging women, to celebrate and honor
00:52:02.490 --> 00:52:04.265
ourselves as aging women.
00:52:04.265 --> 00:52:05.700
(group laughing)
00:52:05.700 --> 00:52:09.096
- And this particular piece
is an homage to my mother.
00:52:09.096 --> 00:52:13.110
And then of course I'm
pointing to the vaginal area
00:52:13.110 --> 00:52:15.063
from whence I came.
00:52:15.960 --> 00:52:17.190
It's been very important
00:52:17.190 --> 00:52:20.340
to have a welcoming and loving heart.
00:52:20.340 --> 00:52:21.810
I got that from my mom.
00:52:21.810 --> 00:52:22.710
And as you can see,
00:52:22.710 --> 00:52:25.260
I'm holding a heart in my hand.
00:52:25.260 --> 00:52:26.700
It's a great piece, I think,
00:52:26.700 --> 00:52:29.940
because my mother is so much a part of it
00:52:29.940 --> 00:52:31.982
and so much a part of my life.
00:52:31.982 --> 00:52:33.930
(group chattering)
00:52:33.930 --> 00:52:37.530
- I wanted something that
would represent my body.
00:52:37.530 --> 00:52:40.170
I had recently become disabled,
00:52:40.170 --> 00:52:42.270
and I wanted to do it as a way of working
00:52:42.270 --> 00:52:44.760
through my disabilities.
00:52:44.760 --> 00:52:46.170
Well, now that it's completed,
00:52:46.170 --> 00:52:48.153
I think it needs to be worked on more.
00:52:49.110 --> 00:52:51.113
Maybe I would've made up some feet
00:52:51.113 --> 00:52:53.910
'cause now I'm having
problems with my feet.
00:52:53.910 --> 00:52:55.650
You know, I have places to go,
00:52:55.650 --> 00:52:57.303
people to meet, things to do.
00:52:58.170 --> 00:52:59.130
Here, they're cut off.
00:52:59.130 --> 00:53:01.880
So I don't know if I'm gonna
be able to carry that out.
00:53:04.395 --> 00:53:09.395
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
00:53:10.244 --> 00:53:12.300
(waves crashing)
00:53:12.300 --> 00:53:17.300
- Space and time, sound,
silence elements from the earth,
00:53:21.780 --> 00:53:24.450
wind, water, fire.
00:53:24.450 --> 00:53:27.483
I mean these are all
components to the holy.
00:53:28.860 --> 00:53:32.430
To be healthy, there needs
to be this continued cycle,
00:53:32.430 --> 00:53:34.863
healthy and full and complete.
00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:40.420
Unless we spiritually look at
aging and dying and illness
00:53:41.387 --> 00:53:42.690
as the model of health,
00:53:42.690 --> 00:53:45.903
then we're just missing the full circle.
00:53:49.114 --> 00:53:53.313
So I think that's really what
lifecycle rituals are about.
00:53:55.564 --> 00:54:00.420
I am a licensed funeral
director in California.
00:54:00.420 --> 00:54:03.930
I consider myself to be an
alternative funeral director
00:54:03.930 --> 00:54:06.240
and a death midwife.
00:54:06.240 --> 00:54:11.240
I help families and hold the
space for them during the time
00:54:11.400 --> 00:54:15.633
of a death and in their
funeral ceremony and ritual.
00:54:16.590 --> 00:54:20.970
And when a death occurs, not
only the person who's died,
00:54:20.970 --> 00:54:22.650
but the people who are bearing witnesses
00:54:22.650 --> 00:54:25.800
are sort of on this threshold
between these worlds.
00:54:25.800 --> 00:54:30.800
And there were actually people
participating in the death,
00:54:31.710 --> 00:54:33.824
being present to the body,
00:54:33.824 --> 00:54:35.910
bathing and dressing the body
00:54:35.910 --> 00:54:38.820
and lying their own loved
one out in honor at home.
00:54:38.820 --> 00:54:40.140
When I bear witness to that,
00:54:40.140 --> 00:54:43.830
when I work with families in a death,
00:54:43.830 --> 00:54:47.220
it's an opportunity for
them to go into that cycle
00:54:47.220 --> 00:54:49.500
and to feel it and understand
00:54:49.500 --> 00:54:51.990
it is truly part of life.
00:54:51.990 --> 00:54:53.910
It's beautiful to bear witness to that.
00:54:53.910 --> 00:54:56.940
You don't get to see that
in our society these days.
00:54:56.940 --> 00:54:58.440
It's missing.
00:54:58.440 --> 00:55:01.890
We've lost our understanding
of how important that space is,
00:55:01.890 --> 00:55:05.010
honoring the space that's around
the family, the survivors,
00:55:05.010 --> 00:55:07.860
and the person who's made
their transition, who has died.
00:55:09.210 --> 00:55:11.310
We have to mark that space
00:55:11.310 --> 00:55:13.350
and we have to hold that space.
00:55:13.350 --> 00:55:15.690
And I remind them of the
importance of the space
00:55:15.690 --> 00:55:20.580
surrounding that to really
help us be present to it
00:55:20.580 --> 00:55:22.353
and feel it and experience it.
00:55:26.010 --> 00:55:28.893
We need to embrace death.
00:55:29.970 --> 00:55:33.453
And I think in that awakening,
there's a beauty in it.
00:55:36.390 --> 00:55:38.288
We need to go towards that.
00:55:38.288 --> 00:55:41.455
(gentle solemn music)
00:55:49.722 --> 00:55:52.410
- [Participant] And when the
last of her moons has passed,
00:55:52.410 --> 00:55:54.870
she will be a grandmother in the world,
00:55:54.870 --> 00:55:57.450
who can teach the
daughters that their blood
00:55:57.450 --> 00:56:00.153
is not one thing, but many things.
00:56:02.070 --> 00:56:04.590
- [Participant] Women are
stepping into leadership
00:56:04.590 --> 00:56:08.820
in bringing forth a new
level of consciousness,
00:56:08.820 --> 00:56:11.842
a new way of being on this planet.
00:56:11.842 --> 00:56:16.842
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
00:56:18.630 --> 00:56:20.940
- [Participant] The blood
mysteries then relates
00:56:20.940 --> 00:56:23.523
to a cyclical nature of life itself.
00:56:27.630 --> 00:56:30.600
- [Participant] There really
is this intimate dance
00:56:30.600 --> 00:56:33.723
between nature and the person.
00:56:35.369 --> 00:56:39.300
(gentle music)
(birds chirping)
00:56:39.300 --> 00:56:42.390
- [Participant] As women, we
know because we give birth
00:56:42.390 --> 00:56:44.910
that we're connected to the whole of life.
00:56:44.910 --> 00:56:49.563
It's not separate from our
blood is about nurturing.
00:56:53.100 --> 00:56:56.830
The systems that we have
allowed are changing
00:56:58.380 --> 00:57:02.943
because they no longer serve
the wellbeing of our planet.
00:57:06.480 --> 00:57:08.400
- [Participant] It is through imagining
00:57:08.400 --> 00:57:10.596
that we can begin to change.
00:57:10.596 --> 00:57:13.263
(gentle music)
00:57:16.350 --> 00:57:18.600
- [Participant] To really
live awakened lives
00:57:18.600 --> 00:57:22.197
that are deeply connected
to the earth, to each other
00:57:22.197 --> 00:57:25.488
and to the larger global
organism that we are all becoming
00:57:25.488 --> 00:57:29.047
as one whole family.
00:57:29.047 --> 00:57:31.800
(birds cawing)
00:57:31.800 --> 00:57:35.940
- [Participant] Coming
into a more whole place
00:57:35.940 --> 00:57:38.929
within ourselves and the world itself.
00:57:38.929 --> 00:57:42.124
(solemn music)
00:57:42.124 --> 00:57:44.957
(birds chirping)
00:57:48.750 --> 00:57:51.930
- [Participant] We're at a
point of embracing all those
00:57:51.930 --> 00:57:53.550
aspects of our being
00:57:53.550 --> 00:57:58.550
that are the feminine
reveal, the emotions,
00:57:58.950 --> 00:58:03.503
the intuitions, the coming
from the heart space.
00:58:07.508 --> 00:58:09.090
(solemn music)
(singers vocalizing)
00:58:09.090 --> 00:58:11.490
- [Participant] So where 30 years ago
00:58:11.490 --> 00:58:14.454
there were very few people
talking about blood mysteries
00:58:14.454 --> 00:58:16.968
and reclaiming women's bodies,
00:58:16.968 --> 00:58:21.078
now there is a gradual
awakening across the planet.
00:58:21.078 --> 00:58:23.661
(solemn music)
00:58:29.850 --> 00:58:32.643
- [Participant] We can
imagine a new wave being.
00:58:33.780 --> 00:58:36.458
- [Participant] Women are
becoming more visible.
00:58:36.458 --> 00:58:39.125
(gentle music)
00:58:40.170 --> 00:58:42.690
- [Participant] Being the creator.
00:58:42.690 --> 00:58:46.024
That's the link with the divine feminine.
00:58:46.024 --> 00:58:49.260
(gentle music)
00:58:49.260 --> 00:58:51.383
- [Participant] Well, you know,
we're all wounded healers.
00:58:52.560 --> 00:58:54.000
- [Participant] It is all fully present
00:58:54.000 --> 00:58:55.710
within our own being.
00:58:55.710 --> 00:58:58.842
So it's about bringing it forth.
00:58:58.842 --> 00:59:00.514
(gentle music with high
pichrd voices that amplify)
00:59:00.514 --> 00:59:03.597
(singers vocalizing to ednd)
00:59:11.250 --> 00:59:13.378
- [Participant] Not
everyone has the same songs,
00:59:13.378 --> 00:59:17.236
but they all interconnect with each other.
00:59:17.236 --> 00:59:19.819
(solemn music)
00:59:25.253 --> 00:59:28.336
(singers vocalizing)
00:59:31.320 --> 00:59:34.737
(solemn music continues)
00:59:38.459 --> 00:59:42.459
(singers vocalizing crescendos)
00:59:46.674 --> 00:59:48.695
(waves lapping)
00:59:48.695 --> 00:59:51.278
(gentle music)
00:59:53.250 --> 00:59:57.303
(waves lapping continues)
00:59:57.303 --> 01:00:00.720
(gentle music continues)
01:00:04.812 --> 01:00:09.812
(waves lapping continues)
(gentle music continues)
01:00:15.232 --> 01:00:19.527
(waves lapping continues)
(gentle music continues)
01:00:19.527 --> 01:00:22.944
(gentle music continues)
01:00:39.082 --> 01:00:42.499
(gentle music continues)
01:01:00.936 --> 01:01:04.353
(gentle music continues)
01:01:26.240 --> 01:01:29.657
(gentle music continues)
01:01:46.605 --> 01:01:50.022
(gentle music continues)
Distributor: Roberta Cantow
Length: 62 minutes
Date: 2008
Genre: Mixed
Language: English
Grade: College, Adults
Color/BW:
Closed Captioning: Available
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