00:00:08.551 --> 00:00:12.776
[birds chirping/traffic sounds]

00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:18.694
[traffic sounds]

00:00:18.718 --> 00:00:20.652
(female #1)
I was in class,

00:00:20.676 --> 00:00:22.235
and we're talking
about feminism.

00:00:22.259 --> 00:00:25.652
This one girl in class
raised her hand and said,

00:00:25.676 --> 00:00:28.068
"You know, like,
I really hate feminism.

00:00:28.092 --> 00:00:30.026
"I think feminism
is really stupid.

00:00:30.050 --> 00:00:32.485
"Women should
suck it up, let go,

00:00:32.509 --> 00:00:34.485
and do whatever
they wanna do."

00:00:34.509 --> 00:00:36.735
The way that people
can oftentimes, like,

00:00:36.759 --> 00:00:39.775
dismiss, like, feminism
as, like, a useless thing.

00:00:39.799 --> 00:00:43.235
It's really sad how much
feminism is misunderstood.

00:00:43.259 --> 00:00:45.068
Feminism is basic belief
in equality.

00:00:45.092 --> 00:00:47.485
You don't have
to be radical, crazy,

00:00:47.509 --> 00:00:50.775
part of some big movement
to be a feminist.

00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:52.775
(female #2)
My mom grew up

00:00:52.799 --> 00:00:54.775
where both brothers
went to college,

00:00:54.799 --> 00:00:56.485
and her parents
paid for them.

00:00:56.509 --> 00:00:59.943
Her parents refused
to pay to send her to college.

00:00:59.967 --> 00:01:02.235
That was something
real in her life.

00:01:02.259 --> 00:01:04.775
(female #3)
It's still real in our lives.

00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:08.318
I think the need for feminism
hasn't changed.

00:01:08.342 --> 00:01:24.193
♪

00:01:24.217 --> 00:01:27.402
[bird cawing]

00:01:27.426 --> 00:01:29.775
(female #4)
Prison is a small town.

00:01:29.799 --> 00:01:32.485
You have the diner
that you would go to,

00:01:32.509 --> 00:01:35.943
or you have the laundrymat
where your clothes are washed.

00:01:35.967 --> 00:01:41.985
Um...it's just that...
you can never move.

00:01:42.009 --> 00:01:45.068
♪

00:01:45.092 --> 00:01:49.694
(female #5)
There are about 308 million
people in the United States,

00:01:49.718 --> 00:01:54.151
and about 1.6 million of them
are in prisons

00:01:54.175 --> 00:01:55.735
throughout the United States.

00:01:55.759 --> 00:01:56.775
That doesn't even count jails,

00:01:56.799 --> 00:02:01.026
and it doesn't count people
under community supervision.

00:02:01.050 --> 00:02:02.818
♪

00:02:02.842 --> 00:02:05.985
So for Iowa,
we have nine prisons.

00:02:06.009 --> 00:02:09.901
There is one that is
a dedicated women's prison--

00:02:09.925 --> 00:02:11.859
the Iowa Correctional
Institution for Women.

00:02:11.883 --> 00:02:15.859
(female #6)
We have about 600 women
here today, uh...

00:02:15.883 --> 00:02:17.775
which is way over capacity.

00:02:17.799 --> 00:02:18.775
We incarcerate more women

00:02:18.799 --> 00:02:21.402
than any other country
in the world

00:02:21.426 --> 00:02:23.026
with the highest rate.

00:02:23.050 --> 00:02:25.235
♪

00:02:25.259 --> 00:02:28.110
(female #7)
I've been in here 6 1/2 years.

00:02:28.134 --> 00:02:32.193
I see...how these women
come in and out, in and out.

00:02:32.217 --> 00:02:34.193
Somewhere along the way,
they got tired.

00:02:34.217 --> 00:02:38.775
[emotionally]
I don't wanna get tired,
'cause it's so easy to do.

00:02:38.799 --> 00:02:41.985
It's so easy to do--
just get tired.

00:02:42.009 --> 00:02:43.318
♪

00:02:43.342 --> 00:02:46.068
(female #8)
My daughter
asked my mom

00:02:46.092 --> 00:02:47.443
if Mommy was in jail.

00:02:47.467 --> 00:02:50.235
I talked to her
about that the people--

00:02:50.259 --> 00:02:52.485
parole board--
would let Mommy know

00:02:52.509 --> 00:02:53.775
when she could leave.

00:02:53.799 --> 00:02:54.818
She was like, oh okay.

00:02:54.842 --> 00:02:58.775
She said, "Because you've
been here a long time."

00:02:58.799 --> 00:03:00.110
♪

00:03:00.134 --> 00:03:01.402
(Wachtendorf)
The average citizen

00:03:01.426 --> 00:03:04.360
that pays taxpayer dollars
to keep a prison going

00:03:04.384 --> 00:03:07.694
doesn't know what's going on
in the prison system.

00:03:07.718 --> 00:03:09.775
People should know
what's going on.

00:03:09.799 --> 00:03:11.901
Came to prison
when I was 17.

00:03:11.925 --> 00:03:15.652
Got a 45-year sentence
with a mandatory of 17.

00:03:15.676 --> 00:03:16.775
Got tired
of everything.

00:03:16.799 --> 00:03:18.527
Was abused,
always movin' around,

00:03:18.551 --> 00:03:20.443
runnin' from cops,
from family.

00:03:20.467 --> 00:03:21.443
It's safer here.

00:03:21.467 --> 00:03:22.775
Out there,
can't do anything

00:03:22.799 --> 00:03:25.775
without havin' to look
over your shoulder.

00:03:25.799 --> 00:03:29.235
♪

00:03:29.259 --> 00:03:32.610
(female #9)
I've been in prison
for 23 years,

00:03:32.634 --> 00:03:35.443
and I have a life
without parole sentence.

00:03:35.467 --> 00:03:37.775
I committed my crime
at age 17,

00:03:37.799 --> 00:03:39.735
and I've had
every birthday

00:03:39.759 --> 00:03:42.818
from 18 through 40
in prison.

00:03:42.842 --> 00:03:46.775
♪

00:03:46.799 --> 00:03:49.694
(Covington)
When you go
into a women's prison,

00:03:49.718 --> 00:03:52.694
and you sit and listen
to their stories,

00:03:52.718 --> 00:03:54.026
it forever changes you.

00:03:54.050 --> 00:03:56.985
And it changes how you think
about feminism,

00:03:57.009 --> 00:03:59.110
how you think
about women's lives.

00:03:59.134 --> 00:04:01.775
When you're gonna judge
somebody, you know,

00:04:01.799 --> 00:04:03.818
I don't think you
can judge 'em

00:04:03.842 --> 00:04:05.818
until you understand
everything about them.

00:04:05.842 --> 00:04:09.402
I mean, everybody
has a story...you know.

00:04:09.426 --> 00:04:18.485
♪

00:04:18.509 --> 00:04:23.443
[people talking/laughing]

00:04:23.467 --> 00:04:27.943
Sorry about the mess
with the tables
and the cameras.

00:04:27.967 --> 00:04:29.610
(female #2)
I'm Emma.

00:04:29.634 --> 00:04:31.068
I'm really excited.

00:04:31.092 --> 00:04:33.318
It's nice
to meet you all.

00:04:33.342 --> 00:04:34.443
I'm Noga...hi.

00:04:34.467 --> 00:04:34.901
[nervously
laughs]

00:04:34.925 --> 00:04:36.775
(Emma, voice-over)
I have family in prison.

00:04:36.799 --> 00:04:40.901
You know, like, it's...it's
a big thing for a lot of people.

00:04:40.925 --> 00:04:43.568
I've never had an interaction
in a prison.

00:04:43.592 --> 00:04:47.151
I've never met people
who have been incarcerated.

00:04:47.175 --> 00:04:48.943
I've never taught
a feminism class

00:04:48.967 --> 00:04:51.485
in a maximum-security
women's prison before,

00:04:51.509 --> 00:04:52.527
and I've been teaching

00:04:52.551 --> 00:04:55.485
since my first year
at Grinnell College.

00:04:55.509 --> 00:04:55.775
♪

00:04:55.799 --> 00:04:57.360
(male #1)
Grinnell Prison Program

00:04:57.384 --> 00:04:59.610
is a collection
of students and faculty

00:04:59.634 --> 00:05:03.402
Nwho devote their time and energy
to teaching inmates.

00:05:03.426 --> 00:05:04.776
It's an unbelievable
environment.

00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:08.360
And as...and as teachers,
you learn so much.

00:05:08.384 --> 00:05:09.068
We work at, um...

00:05:09.092 --> 00:05:11.985
a couple of different prisons
in this state--

00:05:12.009 --> 00:05:12.901
a medium-security men's prison,

00:05:12.925 --> 00:05:18.485
and a maximum-security women's
prison in Mitchellville, Iowa.

00:05:18.509 --> 00:05:18.776
♪

00:05:18.800 --> 00:05:20.775
(Emma)
I call myself a feminist.

00:05:20.799 --> 00:05:23.151
That means everything
I do is feminist.

00:05:23.175 --> 00:05:25.235
Everything I think,
everything I say.

00:05:25.259 --> 00:05:26.775
NStarting
with our first class,

00:05:26.799 --> 00:05:28.527
Nasking what feminism is,
it's...it's huge.

00:05:28.551 --> 00:05:31.985
That's what we're gonna answer
this...the coming eight weeks.

00:05:32.009 --> 00:05:34.151
When I think
of the word feminism,

00:05:34.175 --> 00:05:36.943
what that means is
equal rights for all people.

00:05:36.967 --> 00:05:41.402
And, um...it's always been
focused particularly on women,

00:05:41.426 --> 00:05:44.193
because we've always been
second-class citizens.

00:05:44.217 --> 00:05:48.151
But I think true feminism
is everyone.

00:05:48.175 --> 00:05:51.235
There's a really famous sentence
related to feminism.

00:05:51.259 --> 00:05:52.943
"The personal is political."

00:05:52.967 --> 00:05:56.775
A statement that says a lot
about the feminist movement.

00:05:56.799 --> 00:05:58.068
What it means
to be feminist.

00:05:58.092 --> 00:06:01.943
(Emma)
Say something that happens
to us very specifically

00:06:01.967 --> 00:06:02.776
and make it big.

00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:05.276
My father was abusive
to my mother.

00:06:05.300 --> 00:06:07.652
That's something
very personal to me,

00:06:07.676 --> 00:06:08.485
but that's really big.

00:06:08.509 --> 00:06:11.943
A lot of husbands
are abusive to their wives--

00:06:11.967 --> 00:06:12.527
a huge amount.

00:06:12.551 --> 00:06:16.610
(female #10)
My dad was very abusive
to my mom.

00:06:16.634 --> 00:06:17.775
She just
did it.

00:06:17.799 --> 00:06:18.775
It didn't matter.

00:06:18.799 --> 00:06:19.527
She didn't leave.

00:06:19.551 --> 00:06:23.110
When my mom and dad
would get into a fight,

00:06:23.134 --> 00:06:24.068
um...she would have bruises.

00:06:24.092 --> 00:06:27.775
She would lie to family,
and they would let it go.

00:06:27.799 --> 00:06:29.901
Twenty-three years,
she went through that.

00:06:29.925 --> 00:06:33.775
I only went through it for 13
and took off.

00:06:33.799 --> 00:06:35.568
Where my sisters stayed,

00:06:35.592 --> 00:06:40.360
and one was pregnant
and married by the age of 15.

00:06:40.384 --> 00:06:41.775
And it was okay.

00:06:41.799 --> 00:06:43.276
This was not
that long ago.

00:06:43.300 --> 00:06:46.735
When I got married,
it was barefoot and pregnant.

00:06:46.759 --> 00:06:51.775
That's the way that my husband
perceived our marriage.

00:06:51.799 --> 00:06:54.402
All my life,
I've had this thing

00:06:54.426 --> 00:06:56.859
where I had to be
with somebody.

00:06:56.883 --> 00:06:57.485
Um...my dependency.

00:06:57.509 --> 00:07:00.026
Um...I'm not sure
where that came from.

00:07:00.050 --> 00:07:00.568
I have been.

00:07:00.592 --> 00:07:03.068
I've had
multiple marriages
that have failed.

00:07:03.092 --> 00:07:05.775
I thought that I
should stay home,

00:07:05.799 --> 00:07:10.527
have my babies,
clean house, do the dishes.

00:07:10.551 --> 00:07:11.818
You know, it's all there.

00:07:11.842 --> 00:07:15.235
When you bring it up
as a feminist issue,

00:07:15.259 --> 00:07:15.943
people are often...

00:07:15.967 --> 00:07:17.235
(Noga)
It's a coincidence.

00:07:17.259 --> 00:07:19.818
Make a path and connection
between these.

00:07:19.842 --> 00:07:20.775
It's not
one thing.

00:07:20.799 --> 00:07:22.776
(Yvette)
What about the prison systems?

00:07:22.800 --> 00:07:25.776
A man and woman
can get the same charge,

00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:28.775
same amount of time,
start the same time.

00:07:28.799 --> 00:07:30.193
There are so few beds

00:07:30.217 --> 00:07:32.485
in work release facilities
for women.

00:07:32.509 --> 00:07:34.943
She might get parole
to work release

00:07:34.967 --> 00:07:37.110
but has to wait
five, six months

00:07:37.134 --> 00:07:40.193
to get a bed
in a work release facility.

00:07:40.217 --> 00:07:43.775
That's why we end up
doin' more time.

00:07:43.799 --> 00:07:45.443
You can say
that's my problem.

00:07:45.467 --> 00:07:48.943
Then if a hundred more women
say the same thing,

00:07:48.967 --> 00:07:50.776
then we have
a bigger issue.

00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:52.901
When we say something
is political,

00:07:52.925 --> 00:07:54.901
we mean that
it's not coincidental.

00:07:54.925 --> 00:07:56.775
That there's
a structural problem.

00:07:56.799 --> 00:07:58.276
Something bigger
than all of us.

00:07:58.300 --> 00:08:01.775
The principle in feminism
that the personal is political

00:08:01.799 --> 00:08:03.193
I think is
particularly important

00:08:03.217 --> 00:08:06.735
when we look at women
in the prison system.

00:08:06.759 --> 00:08:07.775
That what has happened

00:08:07.799 --> 00:08:09.652
or what their personal lives
reflect,

00:08:09.676 --> 00:08:12.235
they reflect all
of the major social issues

00:08:12.259 --> 00:08:14.775
that we struggle with
in our society.

00:08:14.799 --> 00:08:16.026
But what they're
struggling with

00:08:16.050 --> 00:08:19.775
is related to the fact
that they were born female.

00:08:19.799 --> 00:08:22.235
Women and men
aren't equal.

00:08:22.259 --> 00:08:22.652
Right?

00:08:22.676 --> 00:08:25.775
Anywhere you wanna look,
women and men aren't equal.

00:08:25.799 --> 00:08:28.360
The moral position,
"And they should be,"

00:08:28.384 --> 00:08:30.985
that's all you need
to support feminism.

00:08:31.009 --> 00:08:31.694
[audience laughing]

00:08:31.718 --> 00:08:35.610
Most Americans agree with both
of those statements by the way.

00:08:35.634 --> 00:08:38.775
We think gender equality
is a zero-sum game.

00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:40.652
If women win,
we will lose.

00:08:40.676 --> 00:08:43.068
We think this is
a level playing field.

00:08:43.092 --> 00:08:46.527
So any policy that tilts it
even a little bit,

00:08:46.551 --> 00:08:49.193
we think, oh my god,
water's rushing uphill.

00:08:49.217 --> 00:08:51.151
It's reverse discrimination
against us.

00:08:51.175 --> 00:08:52.443
Let's be clear about this.

00:08:52.467 --> 00:08:55.527
White men in the United States
are the beneficiaries

00:08:55.551 --> 00:08:58.110
of the single greatest
affirmative action program

00:08:58.134 --> 00:08:59.818
in the history
of the world.

00:08:59.842 --> 00:09:02.985
It is called,
"The history of the world."

00:09:03.009 --> 00:09:03.735
[audience laughing]

00:09:03.759 --> 00:09:06.694
Gender equality
is not a net loss for men.

00:09:06.718 --> 00:09:09.985
Might be the best thing
that ever happened.

00:09:10.009 --> 00:09:11.775
♪

00:09:11.799 --> 00:09:14.402
(female #11)
It's at your left.

00:09:14.426 --> 00:09:20.026
[people talking]

00:09:20.050 --> 00:09:23.859
(Andrea)
I grew up mostly, um...

00:09:23.883 --> 00:09:25.527
no...nowhere
in particular.

00:09:25.551 --> 00:09:31.775
I spent a lot of time
in, uh...foster care.

00:09:31.799 --> 00:09:33.775
And I have
a life sentence.

00:09:33.799 --> 00:09:37.652
I've been incarcerated
since probably 2002,

00:09:37.676 --> 00:09:38.943
so up until that time,

00:09:38.967 --> 00:09:41.485
I worked in clubs
as a topless dancer.

00:09:41.509 --> 00:09:43.943
(Emma)
I consider
that I love my body,

00:09:43.967 --> 00:09:46.775
but I got...sometimes
I'll look at myself and think,

00:09:46.799 --> 00:09:51.360
"Is this the reason that I'm
not dating someone right now?"

00:09:51.384 --> 00:09:52.318
You know, like...

00:09:52.342 --> 00:09:52.859
[everyone laughing]

00:09:52.883 --> 00:09:55.110
I'm not gonna pretend
I don't think that.

00:09:55.134 --> 00:09:59.193
(Amy)
I would honestly say this
is probably the most, um...

00:09:59.217 --> 00:10:03.068
time in my life I've been
so conscious of my body,

00:10:03.092 --> 00:10:05.402
'cause you're with so many women
every day.

00:10:05.426 --> 00:10:08.775
(Felicia)
After I had children,
I had stretch marks.

00:10:08.799 --> 00:10:11.775
My breasts didn't sit up
the way I wanted.

00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:13.735
(Melissa)
I look in the mirror.

00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:16.985
Suck it in, push it up,
cover it up, exercise.

00:10:17.009 --> 00:10:19.775
(Noga)
Why is it I wanna change
myself?

00:10:19.799 --> 00:10:22.193
Be more attractive
to other people?

00:10:22.217 --> 00:10:23.318
Society keeps
telling us

00:10:23.342 --> 00:10:25.775
you need this product
to look better.

00:10:25.799 --> 00:10:27.318
We are influenced
by the media.

00:10:27.342 --> 00:10:30.775
(Andrea)
Who put them thoughts
in our head anyways?

00:10:30.799 --> 00:10:33.068
We do want our bodies
to look sexy.

00:10:33.092 --> 00:10:37.694
I used to be very, very thin,
like...like this big.

00:10:37.718 --> 00:10:38.151
[everyone laughing]

00:10:38.175 --> 00:10:43.443
And I put on, like, 70 pounds
in a very short amount of time.

00:10:43.467 --> 00:10:44.235
All of a sudden,

00:10:44.259 --> 00:10:46.985
I was walkin' around
with somebody behind me,

00:10:47.009 --> 00:10:49.775
and I realized
that it's my butt.

00:10:49.799 --> 00:10:52.485
[everyone laughing]

00:10:52.509 --> 00:10:56.485
I mean, just the body changes
are very difficult to deal with,

00:10:56.509 --> 00:11:01.775
especially you know when...
when I got so much validation

00:11:01.799 --> 00:11:04.775
for my shape and size
when I was thin.

00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:10.775
I was an exotic dancer
for, um...most of the time.

00:11:10.799 --> 00:11:13.443
And you feel good
out of selling sex,

00:11:13.467 --> 00:11:15.775
or being sexual,
or being objectified.

00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:18.235
(Andrea)
I worked in the sex industry.

00:11:18.259 --> 00:11:20.652
And women can empower
themselves

00:11:20.676 --> 00:11:23.151
with the attitudes
with being objectified.

00:11:23.175 --> 00:11:27.568
I mean that can
absolutely be
such a power...

00:11:27.592 --> 00:11:29.943
I did it,
because I wanted to.

00:11:29.967 --> 00:11:31.735
Got some
sick power trip.

00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:32.775
Know what
I'm sayin'?

00:11:32.799 --> 00:11:35.775
(Jamie)
Ask why was that a power trip?

00:11:35.799 --> 00:11:37.943
Why is it powerful
to appear sexual?

00:11:37.967 --> 00:11:41.568
I think for me,
it was seeing
somebody that...

00:11:41.592 --> 00:11:45.509
a man that is
in such a powerful position...

00:11:46.342 --> 00:11:48.360
so freakin' weak!

00:11:48.384 --> 00:11:50.652
I mean
pathetically weak!

00:11:50.676 --> 00:11:52.901
I mean...they're willing
to go home.

00:11:52.925 --> 00:11:55.235
You're willing to lose
your entire life,

00:11:55.259 --> 00:11:59.318
because you just spent
your whole paycheck on me.

00:11:59.342 --> 00:12:01.527
As long as it's
your choosing

00:12:01.551 --> 00:12:03.402
to do that,
then it's okay.

00:12:03.426 --> 00:12:05.735
It's not being forced
on you.

00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:06.652
Many of the women,

00:12:06.676 --> 00:12:09.775
their only way to have
any sense of power

00:12:09.799 --> 00:12:11.568
is through the sex industry.

00:12:11.592 --> 00:12:13.193
They use sex
as a trap...

00:12:13.217 --> 00:12:15.652
Sex has always been
a commodity for women.

00:12:15.676 --> 00:12:20.151
It's not a coincidence this is
the power women have over men.

00:12:20.175 --> 00:12:21.485
I understand
what you're saying,

00:12:21.509 --> 00:12:25.360
but I think bodies in themselves
have a certain power that...

00:12:25.384 --> 00:12:27.694
There's that feeling
of power exchange there,

00:12:27.718 --> 00:12:31.443
but the power has
a definite glass ceiling.

00:12:31.467 --> 00:12:32.775
For many
of these women,

00:12:32.799 --> 00:12:37.110
using sex, uh... as
their economic...way

00:12:37.134 --> 00:12:40.193
of sustaining themselves
is not out of choice.

00:12:40.217 --> 00:12:42.026
It's out of desperation.

00:12:42.050 --> 00:12:46.110
♪

00:12:46.134 --> 00:12:48.859
(female #12)
Hi, baby girl, it's Mom.

00:12:48.883 --> 00:12:49.859
I love you.

00:12:49.883 --> 00:12:51.235
Look what book I found.

00:12:51.259 --> 00:12:53.318
You're gonna love it--
"Chicken, Chicken."

00:12:53.342 --> 00:12:55.775
I'm gonna read you
another book today.

00:12:55.799 --> 00:12:57.735
It's called,
"Beauty and the Beast."

00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:01.402
We have about 60 women a month
come and read.

00:13:01.426 --> 00:13:02.775
We bring out
the books.

00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:05.527
The moms come
and pick out the books

00:13:05.551 --> 00:13:06.943
they wanna read
for their children.

00:13:06.967 --> 00:13:11.026
(Amy)
The worst thing is to be
separated from our children.

00:13:11.050 --> 00:13:14.068
My son learned how
to talk and-and walk,

00:13:14.092 --> 00:13:14.775
and-and I wasn't there.

00:13:14.799 --> 00:13:18.775
There's moms here who their kids
don't get to come see them.

00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:22.193
[reading book]
"Red red, they call me Red.
Red bed."

00:13:22.217 --> 00:13:25.775
[voice-over]
Even if you
don't get to see them,

00:13:25.799 --> 00:13:26.859
they hear your voice.

00:13:26.883 --> 00:13:29.776
Once they're done,
they bring everything back,

00:13:29.800 --> 00:13:30.775
and we burn CDs.

00:13:30.799 --> 00:13:34.235
It makes such a huge difference
in the lives.

00:13:34.259 --> 00:13:36.235
That's the end--
read to page 5,

00:13:36.259 --> 00:13:40.568
I would like for you
to continue on in the story.

00:13:40.592 --> 00:13:41.775
And I love you.

00:13:41.799 --> 00:13:43.818
Here's my oldest son, Lonny,

00:13:43.842 --> 00:13:46.775
and then my second oldest son,
little William.

00:13:46.799 --> 00:13:48.775
These are
my two younger ones.

00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:51.402
And this one,
his name is Jeremiah,

00:13:51.426 --> 00:13:53.235
and this one
is Denaul.

00:13:53.259 --> 00:13:53.985
I have two kids.

00:13:54.009 --> 00:13:58.151
My daughter will be 16,
and my son will be 20.

00:13:58.175 --> 00:13:59.694
I have three children.

00:13:59.718 --> 00:14:01.776
A six-year-old--
her name is Sibley.

00:14:01.800 --> 00:14:04.485
I have a five-year-old,
and that's Blaine.

00:14:04.509 --> 00:14:06.735
Then I have
a two-year-old,

00:14:06.759 --> 00:14:07.943
and that's Calvin.

00:14:07.967 --> 00:14:10.610
[talking/laughing]

00:14:10.634 --> 00:14:14.610
(Emma)
I think that, you know,
a discussion of children

00:14:14.634 --> 00:14:15.110
is really important.

00:14:15.134 --> 00:14:18.443
Like as an institutional way
to, like, oppress,

00:14:18.467 --> 00:14:20.775
especially women
within a prison system.

00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:21.775
[everyone agreeing]

00:14:21.799 --> 00:14:22.775
Um...who gets
to decide

00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:24.775
whether you get
your children back.

00:14:24.799 --> 00:14:28.402
or get to see them,
or who they live with?

00:14:28.426 --> 00:14:29.193
Uh...you know
like...

00:14:29.217 --> 00:14:32.901
Or what say
you have
in the matter at all.

00:14:32.925 --> 00:14:35.775
In men's institution,
mothers keep the kids.

00:14:35.799 --> 00:14:36.360
Kids aren't uprooted.

00:14:36.384 --> 00:14:39.318
When the woman comes,
they lose their mother--

00:14:39.342 --> 00:14:41.068
father's not in the picture.

00:14:41.092 --> 00:14:42.110
They are parentless.

00:14:42.134 --> 00:14:43.652
Over 60% of the mothers

00:14:43.676 --> 00:14:45.775
incarcerated
for more than two years

00:14:45.799 --> 00:14:47.402
will lose
their parental rights

00:14:47.426 --> 00:14:50.610
and never have
their children again.

00:14:50.634 --> 00:14:52.775
I signed adoption papers,
'cause I had...

00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:56.360
I'm gonna be out of his life
for like 12 1/2 years.

00:14:56.384 --> 00:15:00.775
Iowa is quick,
in my opinion,
to take these kids.

00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:04.193
I have two life sentences
without parole.

00:15:04.217 --> 00:15:07.485
Twelve years later,
I still have
parental rights.

00:15:07.509 --> 00:15:09.901
I still have custody
of my kids.

00:15:09.925 --> 00:15:10.775
They send pictures.

00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:13.110
Every once in a while,
they write.

00:15:13.134 --> 00:15:15.193
Talk to them
on the phone.

00:15:15.217 --> 00:15:16.694
I'm part
of their life,

00:15:16.718 --> 00:15:20.568
but...I'm a part
of a faraway life.

00:15:20.592 --> 00:15:22.151
Over half of them
incarcerated

00:15:22.175 --> 00:15:24.775
never had a visit
from their children.

00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:28.276
I haven't seen 'em
in 6 1/2 years,

00:15:28.300 --> 00:15:30.485
but I get pictures.

00:15:30.509 --> 00:15:31.775
They come
every weekend.

00:15:31.799 --> 00:15:33.026
But I mean...
and it's okay.

00:15:33.050 --> 00:15:37.775
You know, I mean I don't cry
when they leave, but it sucks.

00:15:37.799 --> 00:15:40.859
'Cause I just...I
miss out on everything.

00:15:40.883 --> 00:15:44.901
(Noga)
What happens if a woman
comes to prison pregnant?

00:15:44.925 --> 00:15:47.775
I had a baby
while I was here.

00:15:47.799 --> 00:15:49.402
Had a baby
in September.

00:15:49.426 --> 00:15:53.402
I had him on a Saturday,
and a Monday,

00:15:53.426 --> 00:15:56.068
I had to give him
to my parents.

00:15:56.092 --> 00:15:58.443
If a woman comes
to prison pregnant,

00:15:58.467 --> 00:16:00.318
she'll deliver
at Iowa City hospitals.

00:16:00.342 --> 00:16:03.775
If she doesn't have family
to take that baby,

00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:04.775
it goes to foster care.

00:16:04.799 --> 00:16:09.735
[emotionally]
I know he knows who I am,
but...you don't get to bond.

00:16:09.759 --> 00:16:11.151
You know,
they take them.

00:16:11.175 --> 00:16:13.775
I'm gonna fight for that
when I leave.

00:16:13.799 --> 00:16:16.775
Your child should be able
to stay with you.

00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:18.652
Many other countries'
women's prisons,

00:16:18.676 --> 00:16:21.193
if they are pregnant
and have their infant,

00:16:21.217 --> 00:16:24.360
their infant stays with them
up to two years.

00:16:24.384 --> 00:16:26.360
There are prisons
in other countries

00:16:26.384 --> 00:16:28.235
where women who
have young children

00:16:28.259 --> 00:16:30.775
can bring their children
if they are arrested.

00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:34.735
It sucks that I'm here,
and I'm not in my son's life.

00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:39.775
[emotionally]
But it sucks more him...
wondering why I'm not.

00:16:39.799 --> 00:16:44.193
I told my kids, I said,
just hold on just a second,

00:16:44.217 --> 00:16:45.652
and I'll be right back.

00:16:45.676 --> 00:16:49.193
And now it's...
14 1/2 years later,

00:16:49.217 --> 00:16:55.276
and...I'll be right back
has turned into a lifetime away.

00:16:55.300 --> 00:17:07.775
♪

00:17:07.799 --> 00:17:11.775
[birds chirping]

00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:15.610
[dog barking]

00:17:15.634 --> 00:17:20.775
[people talking/laughing]

00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:22.652
(Kimmel)
During one of our meetings,

00:17:22.676 --> 00:17:25.068
I witnessed a conversation
between two women

00:17:25.092 --> 00:17:27.775
that changed
how I saw this forever.

00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:30.360
The black woman says
to the white woman,

00:17:30.384 --> 00:17:33.775
"When you wake up
and look in the mirror,

00:17:33.799 --> 00:17:34.775
what do you see?"

00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:37.318
The white woman said,
"I see a woman."

00:17:37.342 --> 00:17:39.485
The black woman said,
"That's the problem.

00:17:39.509 --> 00:17:43.985
"When I wake up in the morning
and look in the mirror,

00:17:44.009 --> 00:17:45.068
"I see a black woman.

00:17:45.092 --> 00:17:49.485
"To me, race is visible,
but to you, race is invisible.

00:17:49.509 --> 00:17:50.318
You don't see it."

00:17:50.342 --> 00:17:52.402
Then she said something
really startling.

00:17:52.426 --> 00:17:54.235
She said, "That's how
privilege works.

00:17:54.259 --> 00:17:57.568
"Privilege is invisible
to those who have it.

00:17:57.592 --> 00:17:58.318
It is a luxury."

00:17:58.342 --> 00:18:01.276
I would say to the white people
sitting in this room

00:18:01.300 --> 00:18:06.443
not to have to think about race
every split second of your life,

00:18:06.467 --> 00:18:07.775
that is a luxury.

00:18:07.799 --> 00:18:08.402
That is privilege.

00:18:08.426 --> 00:18:11.775
Privilege is invisible
to those who have it.

00:18:11.799 --> 00:18:15.026
There are very few women
of privilege in a prison.

00:18:15.050 --> 00:18:17.901
You know, if you have privilege
because of class,

00:18:17.925 --> 00:18:20.775
because you have resources,
because of race, education,

00:18:20.799 --> 00:18:24.859
there's a very small chance
you're gonna go to prison.

00:18:24.883 --> 00:18:25.276
♪

00:18:25.300 --> 00:18:27.775
(Emma)
Who wants to give
their definition

00:18:27.799 --> 00:18:29.775
of how they
understand privilege?

00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:30.652
Advantage.

00:18:30.676 --> 00:18:32.276
Advantage?

00:18:32.300 --> 00:18:33.318
Favored.

00:18:33.342 --> 00:18:34.026
Favored?

00:18:34.050 --> 00:18:38.652
Entitlement that is
not based on effort.

00:18:38.676 --> 00:18:40.527
It took me
a long time

00:18:40.551 --> 00:18:42.151
to understand
what it meant.

00:18:42.175 --> 00:18:45.026
I was the only man
in this group.

00:18:45.050 --> 00:18:46.443
I heard this and said,

00:18:46.467 --> 00:18:49.775
when I wake up
and look in the mirror,

00:18:49.799 --> 00:18:51.235
I see a human being.

00:18:51.259 --> 00:18:53.276
I'm kind
of a generic person.

00:18:53.300 --> 00:18:54.859
I'm a middle-class white man.

00:18:54.883 --> 00:18:57.026
I have no race,
no class.

00:18:57.050 --> 00:18:57.859
[audience laughing]

00:18:57.883 --> 00:18:59.402
I'm universally generalizable.

00:18:59.426 --> 00:18:59.818
[laughing]

00:18:59.842 --> 00:19:02.775
I like to think
that was the moment

00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:04.485
I became
a middle-class white man.

00:19:04.509 --> 00:19:07.775
Class, race, gender
were not about other people

00:19:07.799 --> 00:19:08.775
but also about me.

00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:11.276
I had to start taking
them on.

00:19:11.300 --> 00:19:12.193
It had been privilege

00:19:12.217 --> 00:19:14.901
that kept them
invisible to me for so long.

00:19:14.925 --> 00:19:18.943
I wanna look more
in the ways...
which is hard to do,

00:19:18.967 --> 00:19:22.318
in ways you've been privileged
or your family has.

00:19:22.342 --> 00:19:24.775
Or at least one way
you've benefited

00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:26.775
from some form
of privilege.

00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:33.694
[people talking]

00:19:33.718 --> 00:19:35.775
(Emma)
It obviously
doesn't make sense

00:19:35.799 --> 00:19:37.443
to talk
about necessarily
right now,

00:19:37.467 --> 00:19:41.151
um...but you can talk
about any point
in your history.

00:19:41.175 --> 00:19:43.402
You can talk
about being
in prison.

00:19:43.426 --> 00:19:46.026
The dynamics at least
within this place.

00:19:46.050 --> 00:19:48.775
It may sound strange,
but...being in prison

00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:51.775
in some ways
has been a privilege for me

00:19:51.799 --> 00:19:55.402
in an aspect that I
wouldn't have been able

00:19:55.426 --> 00:19:58.775
to take as many courses
and classes.

00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:02.360
On the outside, I wouldn't
have been able to do that,

00:20:02.384 --> 00:20:07.485
because those classes
were probably very expensive.

00:20:07.509 --> 00:20:10.026
It makes you appreciate
what you have

00:20:10.050 --> 00:20:11.443
and makes you feel bad.

00:20:11.467 --> 00:20:14.068
'Cause I've...I take
for granted my life

00:20:14.092 --> 00:20:15.360
and opportunities I had.

00:20:15.384 --> 00:20:16.485
Where some
of these women...

00:20:16.509 --> 00:20:20.652
they have to come to prison
to appreciate an opportunity.

00:20:20.676 --> 00:20:20.901
That's sad.

00:20:20.925 --> 00:20:24.068
Then the other kind
of backwards thing in prison

00:20:24.092 --> 00:20:27.318
is that because I have
a life sentence...

00:20:27.342 --> 00:20:31.776
I'm privileged in this...
in this environment,

00:20:31.800 --> 00:20:34.068
because I'm here,
I'm stable.

00:20:34.092 --> 00:20:35.610
It's really sad to me

00:20:35.634 --> 00:20:39.151
that people have
to come to prison

00:20:39.175 --> 00:20:40.901
to get
those opportunities.

00:20:40.925 --> 00:20:43.901
That those opportunities
are not there for them

00:20:43.925 --> 00:20:45.775
until they come
to prison.

00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:48.318
For some of these women
that grew up,

00:20:48.342 --> 00:20:51.694
their mothers did not provide
a safe environment.

00:20:51.718 --> 00:20:52.026
Uh...they grew up

00:20:52.050 --> 00:20:54.775
in that total, total
dysfunctional, abusive house,

00:20:54.799 --> 00:20:57.859
uh...up until the time
they committed their crimes

00:20:57.883 --> 00:20:58.818
and came to prison.

00:20:58.842 --> 00:21:01.775
This is the first time
they felt safe.

00:21:01.799 --> 00:21:04.360
They can go to bed
and don't worry

00:21:04.384 --> 00:21:06.318
about who's climbing
into their bed.

00:21:06.342 --> 00:21:08.652
They don't worry
about their next meal,

00:21:08.676 --> 00:21:11.485
being cold at night,
or anything like that.

00:21:11.509 --> 00:21:13.527
It's sad when you
come to prison

00:21:13.551 --> 00:21:17.068
to be safe for the first time
in your life.

00:21:17.092 --> 00:21:18.818
From the time
I was three,

00:21:18.842 --> 00:21:21.068
we traveled all over
the United States.

00:21:21.092 --> 00:21:23.943
My mom and stepdad
used to write bad checks

00:21:23.967 --> 00:21:26.985
to get money and stuff,
so...it was chaotic.

00:21:27.009 --> 00:21:28.901
Usually we stayed
in one place

00:21:28.925 --> 00:21:31.652
for a little less
than six months.

00:21:31.676 --> 00:21:32.318
It's movin' around,

00:21:32.342 --> 00:21:34.775
runnin' from the rest
of my family

00:21:34.799 --> 00:21:35.318
and law enforcement.

00:21:35.342 --> 00:21:39.026
Got taken away
when me and my sister were five

00:21:39.050 --> 00:21:40.360
and put in foster home.

00:21:40.384 --> 00:21:43.402
State of Nebraska made her
take parenting classes.

00:21:43.426 --> 00:21:45.694
Once we got back
with our mother,

00:21:45.718 --> 00:21:48.235
it was back
to movin' around.

00:21:48.259 --> 00:21:49.775
(Andrea)
I was not privileged

00:21:49.799 --> 00:21:51.943
within the environment
that I was in.

00:21:51.967 --> 00:21:55.360
You know, I grew up in,
you know, foster care

00:21:55.384 --> 00:22:00.318
and...you know, the lower end
of lower class.

00:22:00.342 --> 00:22:02.276
Left home
when I was 15.

00:22:02.300 --> 00:22:04.276
Never known
who my father is,

00:22:04.300 --> 00:22:05.985
and my mother
is an alcoholic.

00:22:06.009 --> 00:22:09.943
I mean, it's almost
a very typical childhood

00:22:09.967 --> 00:22:12.943
that leads you
to a life that I had.

00:22:12.967 --> 00:22:16.485
You know, I'm sittin' here
thinkin', you know, we...

00:22:16.509 --> 00:22:18.694
I guess I got
food stamps.

00:22:18.718 --> 00:22:19.193
[everyone laughing]

00:22:19.217 --> 00:22:22.775
Is that a privilege,
or is that a right?

00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:23.775
I don't know.

00:22:23.799 --> 00:22:26.026
When we look
at women in prison,

00:22:26.050 --> 00:22:27.985
you can predict
who's at risk.

00:22:28.009 --> 00:22:30.652
In any country I go to,
I ask,

00:22:30.676 --> 00:22:33.151
"Which group of women
in your country

00:22:33.175 --> 00:22:34.318
are the most disadvantaged?"

00:22:34.342 --> 00:22:36.652
Then I ask,
"Which group of women

00:22:36.676 --> 00:22:38.859
are overly represented
in your women's prison?"

00:22:38.883 --> 00:22:40.859
Those two groups match
in every country.

00:22:40.883 --> 00:22:45.775
(Ashley)
I grew up hangin' out
with the bikers, the guys.

00:22:45.799 --> 00:22:46.901
My parents
are bikers.

00:22:46.925 --> 00:22:49.193
They're an...
they're...just...

00:22:49.217 --> 00:22:50.443
there was drugs
everywhere.

00:22:50.467 --> 00:22:52.943
My first memory
that I can remember,

00:22:52.967 --> 00:22:54.901
me and my mom
were goin'

00:22:54.925 --> 00:22:56.776
to visit my dad in prison.

00:22:56.800 --> 00:22:58.694
The guy
that was drivin' us,

00:22:58.718 --> 00:23:01.694
they were like passing
this plate of cocaine

00:23:01.718 --> 00:23:03.775
back and forth
over the seat.

00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:05.026
Like that was my life.

00:23:05.050 --> 00:23:07.775
In some families,
there is this culture.

00:23:07.799 --> 00:23:10.818
It's a prison culture,
if you will, that, um...

00:23:10.842 --> 00:23:13.652
they've seen the grandparents
go to prison--

00:23:13.676 --> 00:23:14.652
someone of that generation.

00:23:14.676 --> 00:23:17.568
They see one of their parents
go to prison,

00:23:17.592 --> 00:23:20.068
and they actually think
it's almost inevitable.

00:23:20.092 --> 00:23:23.402
I grew up thinking
that my dad...

00:23:23.426 --> 00:23:24.694
♪

00:23:24.718 --> 00:23:26.735
[emotionally]
if he loved me more...

00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:32.026
if he loved me a little more...
or if I was better...

00:23:32.050 --> 00:23:33.318
♪

00:23:33.342 --> 00:23:36.775
maybe he wouldn't
keep goin' to prison.

00:23:36.799 --> 00:23:38.775
Maybe he wouldn't
keep leaving me.

00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:41.652
(Noga)
It's really hard to deal
with thinking

00:23:41.676 --> 00:23:44.985
some choices
you made
or the place
you are now

00:23:45.009 --> 00:23:46.859
has something to do
with privilege.

00:23:46.883 --> 00:23:50.568
Privilege has a lot
to do with who you are

00:23:50.592 --> 00:23:52.443
and where you'll
end up in life.

00:23:52.467 --> 00:23:56.318
(female #13)
My mother was 15
when she had me,

00:23:56.342 --> 00:23:57.818
and my father was 18.

00:23:57.842 --> 00:23:59.527
He was really not around.

00:23:59.551 --> 00:24:02.775
He had another family
right away.

00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:04.568
Mom is
a body piercer.

00:24:04.592 --> 00:24:05.775
Dad's a tattoo artist.

00:24:05.799 --> 00:24:07.775
I grew up
in a tattoo shop.

00:24:07.799 --> 00:24:11.443
Dad was in and out of prison
my whole life.

00:24:11.467 --> 00:24:12.568
My parents sold drugs.

00:24:12.592 --> 00:24:14.775
Don't remember
too much of childhood.

00:24:14.799 --> 00:24:16.110
Blocked out a lot.

00:24:16.134 --> 00:24:18.235
Grew up
in an abusive home.

00:24:18.259 --> 00:24:19.775
Dad was
an alcoholic.

00:24:19.799 --> 00:24:20.402
Abused me, my mom.

00:24:20.426 --> 00:24:25.775
I was molested by my...
one of my mom's boyfriends,

00:24:25.799 --> 00:24:27.818
um...about nine years old.

00:24:27.842 --> 00:24:32.276
And I believe
that really changed everything.

00:24:32.300 --> 00:24:36.068
By nine years old, I was usin',
uh...I was smokin',

00:24:36.092 --> 00:24:37.527
and I was usin' marijuana.

00:24:37.551 --> 00:24:41.735
Um...by 11 years old,
I had tried meth.

00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:44.193
I started doin' meth
when I was 12.

00:24:44.217 --> 00:24:48.276
Um...I divorced my parents
when I was 16.

00:24:48.300 --> 00:24:50.776
I moved out
when I was 15.

00:24:50.800 --> 00:24:52.193
About 12, 13 years old,

00:24:52.217 --> 00:24:54.735
I started doin' drugs
and runnin' away,

00:24:54.759 --> 00:24:57.694
and I just kept goin' down
that road.

00:24:57.718 --> 00:24:59.318
I ran away from home.

00:24:59.342 --> 00:25:00.402
I didn't come back.

00:25:00.426 --> 00:25:02.485
I've never been back
since then,

00:25:02.509 --> 00:25:04.735
so...um...I just moved
on my own.

00:25:04.759 --> 00:25:08.110
And I went through a lot
of stuff than that.

00:25:08.134 --> 00:25:09.775
I've lived, uh...
I was homeless.

00:25:09.799 --> 00:25:13.775
It's a rough life when you're
13 years old out there,

00:25:13.799 --> 00:25:16.110
and you don't have
anybody to turn to.

00:25:16.134 --> 00:25:20.527
It went out of control
really, really fast, you know.

00:25:20.551 --> 00:25:22.735
And then I got
my indictment.

00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:27.775
I've a 15-year drug sentence...
federal drug sentence.

00:25:27.799 --> 00:25:30.026
The number of women
who are incarcerated

00:25:30.050 --> 00:25:33.360
for either their drug use
or some drugs,

00:25:33.384 --> 00:25:36.775
but these are
very low-level drug dealers.

00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:40.068
The people who are
in the major drug deals

00:25:40.092 --> 00:25:42.610
are not in our prisons.

00:25:42.634 --> 00:25:43.610
They're not.

00:25:43.634 --> 00:25:45.151
It's the low level.

00:25:45.175 --> 00:25:47.318
I sold small quantities
of drugs.

00:25:47.342 --> 00:25:49.735
I was involved
in very small quantities.

00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:52.151
Quarter gram...
$25 worth of drugs.

00:25:52.175 --> 00:25:53.901
I'm under a conspiracy
drug charge,

00:25:53.925 --> 00:25:57.735
which the feds,
you don't even have to do it.

00:25:57.759 --> 00:25:59.026
Just talk
about doing it.

00:25:59.050 --> 00:26:02.610
And so...there was
no drug deal or anything.

00:26:02.634 --> 00:26:07.818
It was just...I talked about it
and got 20 years for that.

00:26:07.842 --> 00:26:11.775
The war on drugs has
actually been a war on women,

00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:15.026
and we can see that
looking at any state

00:26:15.050 --> 00:26:16.610
and even in this prison.

00:26:16.634 --> 00:26:17.818
(Emma)
It's important to know

00:26:17.842 --> 00:26:21.068
the language is often
about you as an individual.

00:26:21.092 --> 00:26:23.859
This is the way
they hide these ideas

00:26:23.883 --> 00:26:24.775
of institutional
oppression.

00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:28.776
If they say it was about you
and the thing you did,

00:26:28.800 --> 00:26:30.818
and you needing
to be punished.

00:26:30.842 --> 00:26:32.568
In reality,
you bring it back,

00:26:32.592 --> 00:26:35.818
and you see these huge reasons
why these things happen.

00:26:35.842 --> 00:26:39.775
When we talk about a woman who's
experienced domestic violence,

00:26:39.799 --> 00:26:42.193
substance abuse,
poverty, racism,

00:26:42.217 --> 00:26:44.110
yes, it's
her personal life.

00:26:44.134 --> 00:26:46.402
But this is
a structural issue.

00:26:46.426 --> 00:26:49.592
This is not
an individual issue.

00:26:49.799 --> 00:26:52.110
We are supposed
to be a nation

00:26:52.134 --> 00:26:54.026
in which everyone
can get educated.

00:26:54.050 --> 00:26:56.276
Christine had
to be a 60-year-old woman

00:26:56.300 --> 00:26:59.652
put in prison
to get the classes she wanted.

00:26:59.676 --> 00:27:02.402
I think it all goes down
to this idea

00:27:02.426 --> 00:27:04.818
that we believe
our actions are individual,

00:27:04.842 --> 00:27:07.193
and that privilege
has nothing to do

00:27:07.217 --> 00:27:10.235
with what kind of life
we'll end up living.

00:27:10.259 --> 00:27:12.110
The rhetoric
around these women's crimes

00:27:12.134 --> 00:27:14.859
is they did something wrong
as an individual.

00:27:14.883 --> 00:27:17.443
They have to be punished
as an individual.

00:27:17.467 --> 00:27:20.402
But it's about a...like...
these individual choices

00:27:20.426 --> 00:27:22.610
that aren't actually there.

00:27:22.634 --> 00:27:24.568
Wouldn't it be easier
to just accept

00:27:24.592 --> 00:27:28.068
that I did something bad,
and that's why I'm in prison?

00:27:28.092 --> 00:27:32.818
I mean, are we helping them,
or are we making it harder?

00:27:32.842 --> 00:27:33.402
Feminism is hard.

00:27:33.426 --> 00:27:36.485
To constantly question
the things people do to you,

00:27:36.509 --> 00:27:39.775
things people say to you,
but it's important.

00:27:39.799 --> 00:27:49.776
♪

00:27:49.800 --> 00:27:58.235
♪

00:27:58.259 --> 00:28:09.443
[people talking]

00:28:09.467 --> 00:28:12.443
(Yvette)
I did a trauma and abuse class,

00:28:12.467 --> 00:28:15.110
Our assignment is
that we have to write

00:28:15.134 --> 00:28:17.151
a fairytale
that starts with, um...

00:28:17.175 --> 00:28:19.610
"Once upon a time,"
and ends with,

00:28:19.634 --> 00:28:22.318
"And they all lived
happily every after."

00:28:22.342 --> 00:28:24.068
And, um...you
have to write it

00:28:24.092 --> 00:28:26.775
from the perspective
of you at the age

00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:30.151
when you experienced
your first trauma.

00:28:30.175 --> 00:28:33.943
And I was just in a panic
when they said that.

00:28:33.967 --> 00:28:37.360
I was like, well,
how do I do that.

00:28:37.384 --> 00:28:37.776
I was too little.

00:28:37.800 --> 00:28:42.568
You know, I was three years old
watching my dad rape my mom.

00:28:42.592 --> 00:28:44.775
I mean, I remember
being really little.

00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:46.901
Being in-in the little
footie pajamas,

00:28:46.925 --> 00:28:49.318
and my dad
and my mom fighting,

00:28:49.342 --> 00:28:51.318
and throwing things
at each other,

00:28:51.342 --> 00:28:53.694
and running out
and saying "stop,"

00:28:53.718 --> 00:28:56.360
and getting thrown
in my crib by my dad.

00:28:56.384 --> 00:29:00.775
How do you write a...a fairytale
of what you would've wanted

00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:03.775
your life to be like
when you're so little

00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:08.775
when it's already impossible
to have a fairytale?

00:29:08.799 --> 00:29:10.360
You know.

00:29:10.384 --> 00:29:11.694
National statistics estimate

00:29:11.718 --> 00:29:13.776
that about 60% of women
in prison

00:29:13.800 --> 00:29:15.775
have been victims
of domestic violence

00:29:15.799 --> 00:29:18.775
or sexual assaults
prior to coming to prison.

00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:20.776
Between 60 and 70%
of the women

00:29:20.800 --> 00:29:23.735
have been physically
or sexually abused

00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:25.443
before age of 10, okay.

00:29:25.467 --> 00:29:29.276
Then they also have been
sexually or physically abused

00:29:29.300 --> 00:29:30.110
when they're adolescents

00:29:30.134 --> 00:29:32.151
and then again
in their adult lives.

00:29:32.175 --> 00:29:35.775
In a comparison study
between men and women in prison,

00:29:35.799 --> 00:29:38.568
the women had
three times as much abuse

00:29:38.592 --> 00:29:40.068
in their childhood
as the men,

00:29:40.092 --> 00:29:44.775
and eight times as much abuse
in their adult lives as the men.

00:29:44.799 --> 00:29:45.985
(Emma)
An abusive relationship

00:29:46.009 --> 00:29:47.775
doesn't only involve
physical violence.

00:29:47.799 --> 00:29:49.901
There is no construction
in this article

00:29:49.925 --> 00:29:52.694
about like how pervasive
domestic violence is.

00:29:52.718 --> 00:29:57.068
(Ashley)
There is absolutely no reason
that a human being should hit...

00:29:57.092 --> 00:30:01.193
It's okay for her
to slap the hell
out of him?

00:30:01.217 --> 00:30:02.775
Abusers know
to hit you

00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:04.276
where it's
not gonna be seen.

00:30:04.300 --> 00:30:07.859
Many women
go through this
and go back to them.

00:30:07.883 --> 00:30:10.775
Never forget
the first time
he slapped me.

00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:13.775
Um...he choked me,
pulled a gun on me,

00:30:13.799 --> 00:30:15.193
spit in my face.

00:30:15.217 --> 00:30:15.694
It changed me.

00:30:15.718 --> 00:30:20.901
The relationship
changed me literally...
as a person, you know.

00:30:20.925 --> 00:30:26.527
And, uh...so I think that
my relationship had an affect

00:30:26.551 --> 00:30:32.527
on why I committed the crime
that I did, you know.

00:30:32.551 --> 00:30:33.652
It played a part.

00:30:33.676 --> 00:30:36.026
(Emma)
You're talking
about boyfriend crimes.

00:30:36.050 --> 00:30:37.610
Like the way
boyfriend crimes

00:30:37.634 --> 00:30:40.193
put so many women
in prison is like

00:30:40.217 --> 00:30:42.110
an institutional form
of oppression.

00:30:42.134 --> 00:30:44.610
Boyfriend crime
is a crime that happens

00:30:44.634 --> 00:30:46.859
where a woman is
with her boyfriend,

00:30:46.883 --> 00:30:49.402
but she actually doesn't commit
the crime.

00:30:49.426 --> 00:30:51.775
This can happen
a lot of different ways.

00:30:51.799 --> 00:30:56.568
One of my really good friends
has a 17 1/2 year mandatory,

00:30:56.592 --> 00:30:59.776
because her boyfriend
robbed her friends.

00:30:59.800 --> 00:31:02.775
And she did not participate
in the robbery,

00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:04.652
but she was
with him afterwards.

00:31:04.676 --> 00:31:08.151
And she knew what had happened,
and she didn't tell.

00:31:08.175 --> 00:31:11.652
And she was offered
probation to testify,

00:31:11.676 --> 00:31:14.568
and she didn't wanna testify
against her boyfriend.

00:31:14.592 --> 00:31:18.276
And so she's sitting in prison
with a 25-year sentence

00:31:18.300 --> 00:31:19.985
with the 17 1/2 year mandatory,

00:31:20.009 --> 00:31:24.050
which means she cannot
even be considered for parole...

00:31:24.800 --> 00:31:26.318
for 17 1/2 years.

00:31:26.342 --> 00:31:30.026
So it's these crimes that occur
where women are present,

00:31:30.050 --> 00:31:33.610
but they're not necessarily
involved in it at all...

00:31:33.634 --> 00:31:36.151
or didn't even know
it was going to happen.

00:31:36.175 --> 00:31:39.735
(Jamie)
Rodney, who was my husband,
became very abusive.

00:31:39.759 --> 00:31:44.068
On the Sunday...
Rodney had, um...come.

00:31:44.092 --> 00:31:46.026
We got
into a big fight.

00:31:46.050 --> 00:31:47.610
I said,
I'm divorcing you,

00:31:47.634 --> 00:31:49.818
I'm leaving you,
can't take it anymore.

00:31:49.842 --> 00:31:51.775
My dad'll take care
of everything.

00:31:51.799 --> 00:31:54.610
I'm not even worried,
my daddy's got me.

00:31:54.634 --> 00:31:56.360
My daddy'll take care
of everything.

00:31:56.384 --> 00:32:00.443
And, um...the next day,
um...he and his friend,

00:32:00.467 --> 00:32:04.235
they, uh...robbed
and killed my parents.

00:32:04.259 --> 00:32:04.527
♪

00:32:04.551 --> 00:32:09.901
(Battles)
A lot of cases, she's not part
of the planning in a crime.

00:32:09.925 --> 00:32:11.568
She doesn't want
the outcome.

00:32:11.592 --> 00:32:13.694
Doesn't want
the crime to happen.

00:32:13.718 --> 00:32:15.360
I was implicated
in the murder.

00:32:15.384 --> 00:32:18.610
His friend, um...
who got a plea bargain,

00:32:18.634 --> 00:32:20.818
said that I knew
about it beforehand,

00:32:20.842 --> 00:32:23.775
and that I did nothing
to stop it.

00:32:23.799 --> 00:32:25.775
Um...and...here I sit.

00:32:25.799 --> 00:32:28.735
In Iowa, you can be convicted
on hearsay.

00:32:28.759 --> 00:32:31.859
You do not have
to be at the crime

00:32:31.883 --> 00:32:32.775
when it's committed.

00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:35.775
You know, I was...you know,
12 hours away,

00:32:35.799 --> 00:32:39.776
working at a hospital,
completely documented,

00:32:39.800 --> 00:32:40.943
with a black eye.

00:32:40.967 --> 00:32:43.610
And...in Iowa,
it doesn't matter.

00:32:43.634 --> 00:32:47.110
You can be convicted
on circumstantial evidence...

00:32:47.134 --> 00:32:48.110
hearsay.

00:32:48.134 --> 00:32:50.775
And here I sit.

00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:52.775
♪

00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:56.235
(Battles)
There are women who are forced
to commit crime

00:32:56.259 --> 00:32:59.485
or coerced into participating
in crime by their batterers.

00:32:59.509 --> 00:33:02.610
A crime that they
never wanted to have happen,

00:33:02.634 --> 00:33:06.402
and now they're held
entirely liable for it.

00:33:06.426 --> 00:33:09.818
I just lost all will
to-to live at some point.

00:33:09.842 --> 00:33:11.735
And, um...and when
you're that low,

00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:14.568
there's always somebody
that's gonna pick you up.

00:33:14.592 --> 00:33:17.360
And...and then once
they pick you up,

00:33:17.384 --> 00:33:20.026
they have you,
you know.

00:33:20.050 --> 00:33:20.775
[sniffs]

00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:22.943
And that was
the end of me.

00:33:22.967 --> 00:33:26.735
He beat me,
but, uh...he also...

00:33:26.759 --> 00:33:27.985
[sniffs]

00:33:28.009 --> 00:33:30.610
emotionally abused me,
you know.

00:33:30.634 --> 00:33:34.610
He...um...just
made me his...

00:33:34.634 --> 00:33:35.026
♪

00:33:35.050 --> 00:33:38.776
I don't know, I can't
even describe it, but...

00:33:38.800 --> 00:33:39.443
[sniffs]

00:33:39.467 --> 00:33:44.193
Um...you know,
he kind of...he sold me.

00:33:44.217 --> 00:33:45.485
And, uh...

00:33:45.509 --> 00:33:46.901
♪

00:33:46.925 --> 00:33:52.110
And he put, um...he-he put
a needle in my arm, you know.

00:33:52.134 --> 00:33:57.235
[emotionally]
And, um...and took away my life.

00:33:57.259 --> 00:33:58.735
But...

00:33:58.759 --> 00:34:00.402
♪

00:34:00.426 --> 00:34:03.026
And he's why I'm here,
you know.

00:34:03.050 --> 00:34:08.068
We...went on this really
terrible journey together,

00:34:08.092 --> 00:34:13.485
and it ended up... [sniffs]
with, uh...somebody's death.

00:34:13.509 --> 00:34:15.901
And...and that's
why I'm here.

00:34:15.925 --> 00:34:20.859
(Battles)
In some cases, if you are
trying to cope with the abuse,

00:34:20.883 --> 00:34:23.360
with the-the pain,
and the confusion, um...

00:34:23.384 --> 00:34:26.901
and the...just all the emotions
that come with it, um...

00:34:26.925 --> 00:34:29.775
you might use drugs
to numb your body,

00:34:29.799 --> 00:34:31.776
so that you can handle
the abuse.

00:34:31.800 --> 00:34:36.467
You know, I numbed myself
with my alcohol, um...

00:34:37.509 --> 00:34:40.735
And when I got mad,
that's what I did.

00:34:40.759 --> 00:34:43.318
So it was kind
of like a...

00:34:43.342 --> 00:34:47.775
a shock to everyone
for...this to happen.

00:34:47.799 --> 00:34:50.485
Like, oh my god,
that's not Felicia.

00:34:50.509 --> 00:34:51.901
You know what I mean?

00:34:51.925 --> 00:34:53.610
But what people
don't know

00:34:53.634 --> 00:34:56.527
what was happening
behind closed doors

00:34:56.551 --> 00:34:57.943
that made me angry.

00:34:57.967 --> 00:35:02.193
Often people ask me what-what
do you think we should do

00:35:02.217 --> 00:35:03.775
about preventing
substance abuse?

00:35:03.799 --> 00:35:04.775
My answer to that

00:35:04.799 --> 00:35:06.943
is you stop violence
against women and girls.

00:35:06.967 --> 00:35:13.485
I don't think that society is
really kind of opened their arms

00:35:13.509 --> 00:35:14.694
around trauma yet,

00:35:14.718 --> 00:35:19.026
or the fact that they could be
in prison due to trauma.

00:35:19.050 --> 00:35:24.426
(female #14)
Ms. Dyess, how long had,
uh...Brian Street abused you?

00:35:24.967 --> 00:35:26.775
For about five
or six years.

00:35:26.799 --> 00:35:28.443
[voice-over]
I get sexually abused

00:35:28.467 --> 00:35:31.943
when I was three years old
by my grandpa.

00:35:31.967 --> 00:35:33.694
First was my grandpa.

00:35:33.718 --> 00:35:37.318
My...first stepdad,
my mom's friend,

00:35:37.342 --> 00:35:38.443
and my last stepdad.

00:35:38.467 --> 00:35:41.943
All the way up until I
got locked up at 17.

00:35:41.967 --> 00:35:44.776
People are surprised
at the level of victimization

00:35:44.800 --> 00:35:47.276
that a lot of women
have gone through

00:35:47.300 --> 00:35:50.151
and, um...how directly
it's related to their crimes.

00:35:50.175 --> 00:35:53.151
(female #14)
Tell us about the crime.

00:35:53.175 --> 00:35:54.799
What happened?

00:35:58.799 --> 00:36:01.775
On, um...March 31st...

00:36:01.799 --> 00:36:02.775
[voice-over]
Six years ago,

00:36:02.799 --> 00:36:06.735
I set fire to my house
to try to kill my stepdad.

00:36:06.759 --> 00:36:10.443
At the time, I wasn't planning
on getting out either.

00:36:10.467 --> 00:36:12.775
I just tried
to kill everybody.

00:36:12.799 --> 00:36:13.694
I got out.

00:36:13.718 --> 00:36:15.527
My stepdad
and my mom got out.

00:36:15.551 --> 00:36:18.527
My brother and sister ended up
passing away...in the fire.

00:36:18.551 --> 00:36:22.776
(female reporter)
Tracey Dyess was sentenced
to 45 years behind bars

00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:24.735
after she torched
the family home

00:36:24.759 --> 00:36:27.276
trying to escape
the sexual abuse she endured

00:36:27.300 --> 00:36:30.943
from her stepfather--
this man, Brian Street.

00:36:30.967 --> 00:36:35.775
(female #14)
Ms. Dyess, you stated
that you set the fire

00:36:35.799 --> 00:36:36.985
to kill Brian Street,

00:36:37.009 --> 00:36:39.775
because he was having sex
with you.

00:36:39.799 --> 00:36:42.485
And you couldn't take it
any longer.

00:36:42.509 --> 00:36:44.527
I broke down...
couldn't take it no more.

00:36:44.551 --> 00:36:49.402
[voice-over]
When goin' through that abuse,
I didn't know who I was.

00:36:49.426 --> 00:36:50.859
From the morning I got up,

00:36:50.883 --> 00:36:54.610
couldn't tell you what I did
throughout the day.

00:36:54.634 --> 00:36:55.360
Kept to myself.

00:36:55.384 --> 00:36:57.943
Tried to run away
a couple of times.

00:36:57.967 --> 00:37:00.068
Two reasons
I came back...the kids.

00:37:00.092 --> 00:37:02.443
If it wasn't
for the other two,

00:37:02.467 --> 00:37:04.735
I probably could of ran
and stayed gone.

00:37:04.759 --> 00:37:07.818
(female #14)
He started showin' attention
to your sister?

00:37:07.842 --> 00:37:12.026
Took about a year before he
started doin' it to my sister.

00:37:12.050 --> 00:37:15.318
(female #14)
Had you gotten too old for him?

00:37:15.342 --> 00:37:18.110
No, he kept doin' it
to me and her.

00:37:18.134 --> 00:37:20.901
[voice-over]
From 3 to 17, I got abused.

00:37:20.925 --> 00:37:22.610
Where does that put
my mind-frame?

00:37:22.634 --> 00:37:26.985
Grandma was there half the time
it was goin' on with my grandpa.

00:37:27.009 --> 00:37:31.485
Mom was in the room
half the time it was goin' on.

00:37:31.509 --> 00:37:32.776
Where does
that put me?

00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:34.568
(Yvette)
My childhood was tumultuous.

00:37:34.592 --> 00:37:37.775
Everybody looks at the house
and think everything's okay.

00:37:37.799 --> 00:37:40.026
Then there's
all this abuse and turmoil

00:37:40.050 --> 00:37:42.775
going on in the house
nobody knows about.

00:37:42.799 --> 00:37:45.151
You just have
to keep it a secret.

00:37:45.175 --> 00:37:48.360
My father, he's abused
three generations of women--

00:37:48.384 --> 00:37:51.776
his sister, my mom,
and then me.

00:37:51.800 --> 00:37:53.527
My mom went
to my school

00:37:53.551 --> 00:37:57.735
and told them that my dad
was abusing me and had me

00:37:57.759 --> 00:37:59.818
taken into the nurse's office
and checked.

00:37:59.842 --> 00:38:04.026
And they asked me where I
had gotten bruises from.

00:38:04.050 --> 00:38:08.775
But you know, nobody ever...
really did anything.

00:38:08.799 --> 00:38:10.568
Sometimes when people
experience trauma,

00:38:10.592 --> 00:38:14.775
um...it can change their brain
and how their brain functions.

00:38:14.799 --> 00:38:17.775
Um...when they experience
trauma repeatedly,

00:38:17.799 --> 00:38:19.068
um...that can set them up

00:38:19.092 --> 00:38:21.859
to experience
post-traumatic stress disorder.

00:38:21.883 --> 00:38:24.818
PTSD, which is
post-traumatic stress disorder,

00:38:24.842 --> 00:38:28.775
many of you might have heard
of that from soldiers.

00:38:28.799 --> 00:38:30.193
This is a problem shared

00:38:30.217 --> 00:38:33.775
by approximately 60%
of the women

00:38:33.799 --> 00:38:35.776
who are incarcerated.

00:38:35.800 --> 00:38:40.901
I think when I first came here,
I was kind of bewildered

00:38:40.925 --> 00:38:43.568
as to why I had committed
my crime.

00:38:43.592 --> 00:38:47.775
I didn't know that I was
so affected by certain things.

00:38:47.799 --> 00:38:49.775
I just thought
I was okay.

00:38:49.799 --> 00:38:51.775
As soon as I got to college,

00:38:51.799 --> 00:38:54.775
I thought, oh my problems
are over now.

00:38:54.799 --> 00:38:55.901
I'm away
from my dad.

00:38:55.925 --> 00:38:59.776
I'm away from all this
terrible stuff I grew up with.

00:38:59.800 --> 00:39:03.193
Then what I did
as soon as I got there

00:39:03.217 --> 00:39:05.235
was basically replicate
the same situation

00:39:05.259 --> 00:39:07.901
I was in growing up
with somebody else.

00:39:07.925 --> 00:39:10.193
I started nude modeling
for this man

00:39:10.217 --> 00:39:13.775
who was 42 years old
in his house once a week.

00:39:13.799 --> 00:39:17.485
It was a bizarre situation,
and it was secretive.

00:39:17.509 --> 00:39:20.276
And it was just kind
of a continuation

00:39:20.300 --> 00:39:22.775
of what
I had grown up with.

00:39:22.799 --> 00:39:23.985
In our study, we found

00:39:24.009 --> 00:39:27.775
that those who experienced
childhood sexual abuse

00:39:27.799 --> 00:39:31.610
were more likely
to have PTSD symptoms

00:39:31.634 --> 00:39:33.360
and more severe symptoms.

00:39:33.384 --> 00:39:35.818
I'm in prison,
because I killed the man

00:39:35.842 --> 00:39:39.110
that I was nude modeling for
in his home.

00:39:39.134 --> 00:39:40.360
Um...one day after probably

00:39:40.384 --> 00:39:42.110
about three months
of going there,

00:39:42.134 --> 00:39:45.068
he approached me,
and we were in his bedroom.

00:39:45.092 --> 00:39:48.775
I just basically went
far beyond what I needed to do

00:39:48.799 --> 00:39:53.110
to get out of the situation
and out of this house.

00:39:53.134 --> 00:39:53.652
Sometimes people

00:39:53.676 --> 00:39:56.235
with post-traumatic stress
disorder experience flashbacks.

00:39:56.259 --> 00:39:59.610
They are in the present time
and doing something.

00:39:59.634 --> 00:40:01.859
All of a sudden,
a smell, a sound,

00:40:01.883 --> 00:40:05.068
or where someone
is touching them on their body

00:40:05.092 --> 00:40:07.775
triggers up a memory
from their past

00:40:07.799 --> 00:40:08.735
that's a traumatic memory.

00:40:08.759 --> 00:40:11.568
Now all of a sudden,
instead of experiencing

00:40:11.592 --> 00:40:13.485
what's actually happening
right now,

00:40:13.509 --> 00:40:14.775
they are back experiencing

00:40:14.799 --> 00:40:17.068
what happened to them
during the traumatic event.

00:40:17.092 --> 00:40:20.775
(female #14)
You were afraid,
and you stated that earlier.

00:40:20.799 --> 00:40:23.694
You were afraid...
he was blocking the door,

00:40:23.718 --> 00:40:25.943
and you feared
he would force you

00:40:25.967 --> 00:40:27.026
to engage
in sexual conduct.

00:40:27.050 --> 00:40:30.443
(Yvette, voice-over)
I had already gone
through this stuff.

00:40:30.467 --> 00:40:32.985
The situation mirrored
everything I had been through.

00:40:33.009 --> 00:40:36.360
[emotionally]
As I entered the room,
the door shut.

00:40:36.384 --> 00:40:41.818
He had his back to the door,
and I was in front of him.

00:40:41.842 --> 00:40:46.110
He told me that I
wasn't going to go anywhere,

00:40:46.134 --> 00:40:48.859
and I started stabbing him.

00:40:48.883 --> 00:40:50.901
When they react,
they're not reacting

00:40:50.925 --> 00:40:52.818
to what's happening
in the present

00:40:52.842 --> 00:40:54.775
but what happened
in that traumatic event.

00:40:54.799 --> 00:40:58.901
(female #14)
Ms. Louisell, you had
a scholarship to ISU.

00:40:58.925 --> 00:41:01.485
You are
a very intelligent person.

00:41:01.509 --> 00:41:05.818
And during all of those times,
you still continued.

00:41:05.842 --> 00:41:08.026
You did not stop
seeing him.

00:41:08.050 --> 00:41:08.735
You still continued.

00:41:08.759 --> 00:41:11.985
Why did you ever go
to the...to his home?

00:41:12.009 --> 00:41:14.259
I don't understand it.

00:41:16.799 --> 00:41:19.776
I was very gifted
intellectually,

00:41:19.800 --> 00:41:23.775
but I was not very mature
on an emotional level.

00:41:23.799 --> 00:41:27.568
The psychologist who reviewed me
when I came into the system

00:41:27.592 --> 00:41:30.443
said that I had gotten
through my problems

00:41:30.467 --> 00:41:31.818
by just blocking
everything out.

00:41:31.842 --> 00:41:34.276
I had learned
to block everything out

00:41:34.300 --> 00:41:35.901
and pretend like
everything was okay.

00:41:35.925 --> 00:41:40.110
And I didn't have the awareness
to get help for myself

00:41:40.134 --> 00:41:42.652
that I needed
at that time.

00:41:42.676 --> 00:41:43.775
The way people
experience abuse

00:41:43.799 --> 00:41:47.775
and the impact it has
on their lives varies widely.

00:41:47.799 --> 00:41:51.485
There are also a lot of women
that are abused

00:41:51.509 --> 00:41:52.110
that don't commit crimes.

00:41:52.134 --> 00:41:55.775
However, those women struggle
with their abuse histories also,

00:41:55.799 --> 00:41:57.360
just often in different ways.

00:41:57.384 --> 00:41:58.527
(female #14)
I understand.

00:41:58.551 --> 00:42:01.151
I-I've read your file
front and back.

00:42:01.175 --> 00:42:02.943
You had
a horrible life.

00:42:02.967 --> 00:42:03.775
You was a victim,

00:42:03.799 --> 00:42:06.610
but you lived across the street
from the sheriff.

00:42:06.634 --> 00:42:10.652
There were plenty of people
you could've gone to for help.

00:42:10.676 --> 00:42:12.193
Something else
could have been done.

00:42:12.217 --> 00:42:15.694
(Tracey, voice-over)
I used to try
and tell somebody,

00:42:15.718 --> 00:42:17.443
whether the school,
police, whatever.

00:42:17.467 --> 00:42:20.151
State of Nebraska
came to our house.

00:42:20.175 --> 00:42:21.360
It was a pigsty.

00:42:21.384 --> 00:42:22.775
Made Mom
clean it up.

00:42:22.799 --> 00:42:24.985
Get us kids
to our grandparents.

00:42:25.009 --> 00:42:27.151
Clean it up,
let us come back.

00:42:27.175 --> 00:42:30.759
The police knew
what was goin' on, but...

00:42:31.009 --> 00:42:32.775
they didn't
wanna step in.

00:42:32.799 --> 00:42:33.735
They didn't
wanna intervene.

00:42:33.759 --> 00:42:36.901
Sometimes it's easy...like
if you got someplace to go.

00:42:36.925 --> 00:42:39.318
When you're 17,
and you've been abused

00:42:39.342 --> 00:42:41.694
from the time you're three
until then,

00:42:41.718 --> 00:42:44.402
and you try to tell people,
talk to 'em,

00:42:44.426 --> 00:42:47.776
what are you supposed to do
when you're 17 years old?

00:42:47.800 --> 00:42:50.775
(Covington)
We use these words
"victim" and "offender"

00:42:50.799 --> 00:42:53.360
as though they're
two separate groups of people.

00:42:53.384 --> 00:42:57.276
My experience is the women
in the criminal justice system

00:42:57.300 --> 00:42:58.235
have also been victims.

00:42:58.259 --> 00:43:00.859
Yet we don't provide
victim services for them.

00:43:00.883 --> 00:43:03.775
We don't think
about their rights as victims

00:43:03.799 --> 00:43:05.735
once they've stepped
over this line.

00:43:05.759 --> 00:43:07.859
Now they're only seen
as an offender.

00:43:07.883 --> 00:43:10.110
(Pulscher)
Ideally, it would be wonderful

00:43:10.134 --> 00:43:12.527
if we had a staff
of psychologists.

00:43:12.551 --> 00:43:16.775
We only have 2--
2 to 600 women.

00:43:16.799 --> 00:43:19.360
(Covington)
The women coming
into the system

00:43:19.384 --> 00:43:21.775
need so many services
in so many ways.

00:43:21.799 --> 00:43:25.402
Yet they come into a system
that was never designed

00:43:25.426 --> 00:43:27.068
to provide
any of these services.

00:43:27.092 --> 00:43:31.568
Criminal justice is
really a culture of control,

00:43:31.592 --> 00:43:34.110
and when we look
at physical healthcare,

00:43:34.134 --> 00:43:36.360
mental healthcare,
substance abuse treatment,

00:43:36.384 --> 00:43:38.235
that's all about culture
of change.

00:43:38.259 --> 00:43:40.901
And so there's
this automatic cultural conflict

00:43:40.925 --> 00:43:44.402
that goes on in prisons
all the time.

00:43:44.426 --> 00:43:57.151
♪

00:43:57.175 --> 00:44:00.568
[people talking/laughing]

00:44:00.592 --> 00:44:10.694
[talking/laughing]

00:44:10.718 --> 00:44:17.775
[talking/laughing]

00:44:17.799 --> 00:44:18.694
It's-it's
been great.

00:44:18.718 --> 00:44:21.110
I want you guys
to know that.

00:44:21.134 --> 00:44:21.735
It's meant a lot.

00:44:21.759 --> 00:44:26.235
(Noga)
It's been the day of the week
I look forward to.

00:44:26.259 --> 00:44:27.568
It's really
because of you.

00:44:27.592 --> 00:44:30.775
(Emma)
How has your experience
in this classroom

00:44:30.799 --> 00:44:31.568
had an impact
on you?

00:44:31.592 --> 00:44:35.859
(Yvette)
This-this class has, um...
really helped me make sense

00:44:35.883 --> 00:44:39.193
out of a lot of things
in my own life

00:44:39.217 --> 00:44:41.694
and in the lives
of the people around me.

00:44:41.718 --> 00:44:45.443
(Melissa)
I really didn't think
about what we've gone through

00:44:45.467 --> 00:44:48.775
and...how we've gotten
where we've gotten to.

00:44:48.799 --> 00:44:50.193
I think it empowers me

00:44:50.217 --> 00:44:52.443
by letting me know
I do have rights.

00:44:52.467 --> 00:44:56.775
I do have power to stand up
for myself and for other women.

00:44:56.799 --> 00:45:00.360
I understand
on the streets,
I'd gotten
so dependent.

00:45:00.384 --> 00:45:02.775
I always thought
I needed a man.

00:45:02.799 --> 00:45:04.775
Prison just changes you
for real.

00:45:04.799 --> 00:45:07.485
I think it helped me
be a feminist,

00:45:07.509 --> 00:45:08.985
because now
it's all women.

00:45:09.009 --> 00:45:11.068
You know, obviously,
you can live

00:45:11.092 --> 00:45:12.443
without depending
on a man.

00:45:12.467 --> 00:45:15.775
(Christine)
All my life,
I have had this thing

00:45:15.799 --> 00:45:17.775
where I had to be
with somebody.

00:45:17.799 --> 00:45:21.775
I've learned I don't have
to depend on a man.

00:45:21.799 --> 00:45:22.818
Us being women,

00:45:22.842 --> 00:45:24.775
we need
to embrace ourselves

00:45:24.799 --> 00:45:27.901
and be comfortable
with who we are.

00:45:27.925 --> 00:45:29.110
I am a feminist now,

00:45:29.134 --> 00:45:32.527
because I am just
as equal as the next.

00:45:32.551 --> 00:45:36.775
[emotionally]
I have a lot of goals
about when I leave here.

00:45:36.799 --> 00:45:40.193
I wanna do so much,
'cause I lost so much.

00:45:40.217 --> 00:45:42.775
I just don't wanna
come back.

00:45:42.799 --> 00:45:43.527
Taking this class

00:45:43.551 --> 00:45:46.276
was so that I can be
a strong woman.

00:45:46.300 --> 00:45:50.026
I can show my daughter
how to be a strong woman.

00:45:50.050 --> 00:45:52.985
That we should be able
to have everything

00:45:53.009 --> 00:45:53.818
that a man
should have.

00:45:53.842 --> 00:45:59.026
(Yvette)
Our lives, our mother's lives,
and our sister's lives

00:45:59.050 --> 00:45:59.985
are like poster lives

00:46:00.009 --> 00:46:04.402
for what not living
in a feminist society can do.

00:46:04.426 --> 00:46:06.068
I've been here
for six years.

00:46:06.092 --> 00:46:09.360
This is the best class
that I've ever taken.

00:46:09.384 --> 00:46:12.652
It's been a lot
of light in my life

00:46:12.676 --> 00:46:14.652
to do these things.

00:46:14.676 --> 00:46:15.775
I'm a mother.

00:46:15.799 --> 00:46:16.859
I'm a friend.

00:46:16.883 --> 00:46:17.652
I'm a prisoner.

00:46:17.676 --> 00:46:21.193
I think I'm a feminist
on top of all that.

00:46:21.217 --> 00:46:22.943
I'm Tracey--
I'm a feminist.

00:46:22.967 --> 00:46:25.342
I'm proud of it too.

00:46:25.467 --> 00:46:28.652
The idea you break the law,
you go to prison.

00:46:28.676 --> 00:46:31.193
That's something that's been
ingrained in our culture,

00:46:31.217 --> 00:46:35.443
It's been so long since it's
been revised or even questioned.

00:46:35.467 --> 00:46:36.485
Technically, we have prison,

00:46:36.509 --> 00:46:38.985
so those people
are not committing crimes.

00:46:39.009 --> 00:46:40.276
But if they're
not violent,

00:46:40.300 --> 00:46:43.775
are they really like a danger
to society right now?

00:46:43.799 --> 00:46:46.151
It doesn't really seem
like that to me.

00:46:46.175 --> 00:46:49.859
(Covington)
Every time I go
to a women's prison,

00:46:49.883 --> 00:46:50.527
I ask a warden,

00:46:50.551 --> 00:46:55.193
"What percentage of the women
do you think need to be here?"

00:46:55.217 --> 00:46:56.110
The wardens tell me

00:46:56.134 --> 00:46:59.276
maybe 20% of the women
need to be there.

00:46:59.300 --> 00:47:01.775
The rest could be
in the community,

00:47:01.799 --> 00:47:02.776
because they're
not dangerous.

00:47:02.800 --> 00:47:05.402
They have not committed
a violent crime.

00:47:05.426 --> 00:47:07.402
They're no risk
to the community.

00:47:07.426 --> 00:47:09.485
Some are gonna get
a second chance.

00:47:09.509 --> 00:47:12.694
Some have accepted
that they're not gonna get out.

00:47:12.718 --> 00:47:15.775
Some are making the best
of their opportunity

00:47:15.799 --> 00:47:16.193
while they're here.

00:47:16.217 --> 00:47:19.235
Uh...some still believe and hope
they're gonna get out.

00:47:19.259 --> 00:47:21.485
Maybe they will
with their appeal process,

00:47:21.509 --> 00:47:24.026
or the governor can always
commute their sentences.

00:47:24.050 --> 00:47:27.026
It's tough when you see
young 20s, 30-year-old women

00:47:27.050 --> 00:47:31.193
that's gonna spend the rest
of their life in prison.

00:47:31.217 --> 00:47:32.402
It's sad.

00:47:32.426 --> 00:47:33.485
♪

00:47:33.509 --> 00:47:36.775
(male reporter)
Yvette Louisell
along with Tracey Dyess,

00:47:36.799 --> 00:47:37.568
asking Governor Branstad

00:47:37.592 --> 00:47:38.402
to commute
their prison sentence.

00:47:38.426 --> 00:47:42.775
(female reporter)
They'll go before the Iowa
Parole Board tomorrow morning

00:47:42.799 --> 00:47:44.775
asking to be let out
of jail early.

00:47:44.799 --> 00:47:48.985
(male reporter)
She says Dyess, in prison
for arson and manslaughter,

00:47:49.009 --> 00:47:51.485
along with Louisell
for first-degree murder,

00:47:51.509 --> 00:47:52.485
deserve a second chance.

00:47:52.509 --> 00:47:55.610
(female #14)
Today is July 15, 2011.

00:47:55.634 --> 00:47:58.110
The interview
of Yvette Louisell,

00:47:58.134 --> 00:48:01.568
Inmate Number 805144,
is called to order.

00:48:01.592 --> 00:48:02.775
(Battles)
The commutation process

00:48:02.799 --> 00:48:05.276
is a lot different
than a criminal trial.

00:48:05.300 --> 00:48:08.735
Um...we're not concerned
with proving guilt or innocence.

00:48:08.759 --> 00:48:09.775
Commutation is completely

00:48:09.799 --> 00:48:11.776
at the discretion
of the governor.

00:48:11.800 --> 00:48:13.402
He doesn't have to do it.

00:48:13.426 --> 00:48:17.485
I'm sitting here today
and asking not for justice,

00:48:17.509 --> 00:48:20.652
because that was decided
by a court of law.

00:48:20.676 --> 00:48:23.443
What I'm asking for
is mercy,

00:48:23.467 --> 00:48:26.235
and I'm not so much
asking for mercy

00:48:26.259 --> 00:48:29.775
for the person
that I was 23 years ago.

00:48:29.799 --> 00:48:34.485
That person was immature,
irresponsible,

00:48:34.509 --> 00:48:39.235
had poor decision-making skills,
lack of insight

00:48:39.259 --> 00:48:42.568
into the long-term consequences
of her actions.

00:48:42.592 --> 00:48:49.610
The person sitting before you
today...has worked hard.

00:48:49.634 --> 00:48:52.527
I believe that I am not
the same person

00:48:52.551 --> 00:48:55.735
that I was when I took
Keith Stilwell's life.

00:48:55.759 --> 00:48:59.985
Here in the state of Iowa,
we don't have the death penalty,

00:49:00.009 --> 00:49:02.527
so if you receive
a life sentence,

00:49:02.551 --> 00:49:04.652
we expect you to die in prison.

00:49:04.676 --> 00:49:07.943
I believe in the possibility
of rehabilitation.

00:49:07.967 --> 00:49:09.485
I think it is possible

00:49:09.509 --> 00:49:11.235
for people
to change their lives.

00:49:11.259 --> 00:49:14.775
And then I think they need
a second chance...

00:49:14.799 --> 00:49:15.652
and to be released.

00:49:15.676 --> 00:49:20.568
I do believe, however,
that it is not too late

00:49:20.592 --> 00:49:22.943
for me
to be a productive citizen.

00:49:22.967 --> 00:49:24.694
Despite the fact
that I've done

00:49:24.718 --> 00:49:28.568
the worst thing that you can do
as a human being,

00:49:28.592 --> 00:49:30.402
which is take
somebody else's life,

00:49:30.426 --> 00:49:34.735
that...that I can still do
something positive

00:49:34.759 --> 00:49:35.402
for the world.

00:49:35.426 --> 00:49:39.235
I think they're women
who have taken a life.

00:49:39.259 --> 00:49:44.985
Um...who need to have
the opportunity to be paroled.

00:49:45.009 --> 00:49:46.775
Only way
that can get changed

00:49:46.799 --> 00:49:49.276
is if the governor
commutes your sentence

00:49:49.300 --> 00:49:51.694
to a term of years,
at which time,

00:49:51.718 --> 00:49:54.276
the board can review you
for consideration for release.

00:49:54.300 --> 00:50:01.235
(female #14)
The interview of Tracey Dyess,
Inmate Number 6294178,

00:50:01.259 --> 00:50:02.402
is called to order.

00:50:02.426 --> 00:50:07.402
When I...when I set the fire,
I was 17.

00:50:07.426 --> 00:50:08.901
I know it was wrong.

00:50:08.925 --> 00:50:10.775
I'm tryin' to work
on counseling.

00:50:10.799 --> 00:50:14.193
I plan on goin' to therapy,
workin' with people,

00:50:14.217 --> 00:50:15.110
using my coping skills

00:50:15.134 --> 00:50:17.193
I've learned
since I've been incarcerated,

00:50:17.217 --> 00:50:20.151
and to gain more
coping skills while here.

00:50:20.175 --> 00:50:23.026
I want you to look
at my sentence

00:50:23.050 --> 00:50:24.068
before mandatory's up

00:50:24.092 --> 00:50:25.818
and give me a chance
before then.

00:50:25.842 --> 00:50:29.859
(female #14)
Okay, at this time,
I will call for both.

00:50:29.883 --> 00:50:31.775
Remember to get
a positive recommendation

00:50:31.799 --> 00:50:35.943
from the board of parole,
the votes must be unanimous.

00:50:35.967 --> 00:50:37.110
♪

00:50:37.134 --> 00:50:41.276
[people talking]

00:50:41.300 --> 00:50:42.276
Good to see you.

00:50:42.300 --> 00:50:43.735
(Amy)
I'm at work release,

00:50:43.759 --> 00:50:47.652
and this is my last step
before I get to go home.

00:50:47.676 --> 00:50:51.360
I finished serving three years
on a ten-year sentence

00:50:51.384 --> 00:50:52.318
at the Mitchellville Prison.

00:50:52.342 --> 00:50:55.775
I am currently at a facility
serving six months

00:50:55.799 --> 00:50:57.776
as part of my parole plan.

00:50:57.800 --> 00:50:58.775
I was in prison,

00:50:58.799 --> 00:51:01.859
because I used
to have a daycare in my home.

00:51:01.883 --> 00:51:06.694
And one of the children
that I was caring for, um...

00:51:06.718 --> 00:51:09.652
had a seizure,
and I called an ambulance.

00:51:09.676 --> 00:51:12.402
And, um...after she left
in the ambulance,

00:51:12.426 --> 00:51:15.485
they said that, um...
she had a skull fracture,

00:51:15.509 --> 00:51:18.652
and the only place
that it could've occurred

00:51:18.676 --> 00:51:19.235
was at my home.

00:51:19.259 --> 00:51:23.568
And, um...because I was
the only adult there...um...

00:51:23.592 --> 00:51:28.110
therefore I had to...basically
take responsibility for that.

00:51:28.134 --> 00:51:32.776
And, um...and she's been fine
and healthy, but, uh...

00:51:32.800 --> 00:51:35.775
I'm not really scared,
I guess, for myself.

00:51:35.799 --> 00:51:37.694
I'm more scared
about my children

00:51:37.718 --> 00:51:39.775
and what people
are gonna say to them.

00:51:39.799 --> 00:51:43.193
[emotionally]
I'm afraid of people
not wanting their kids

00:51:43.217 --> 00:51:46.694
to play with my kids
or come to our house.

00:51:46.718 --> 00:51:48.360
Really, I get nervous
and worried

00:51:48.384 --> 00:51:50.360
about bein' around
other people's children anyway.

00:51:50.384 --> 00:51:54.775
[laughs]
I get nervous about bein'
around my children, you know,

00:51:54.799 --> 00:51:56.735
because...if something happens,

00:51:56.759 --> 00:52:00.110
I'm gonna be the one
who's blamed, you know.

00:52:00.134 --> 00:52:02.735
I do so call myself
a feminist.

00:52:02.759 --> 00:52:06.610
And, um...part of my whole
reentry thing is being myself

00:52:06.634 --> 00:52:10.026
and finding out what I like
and what I dislike.

00:52:10.050 --> 00:52:12.235
I've got five months
to do here.

00:52:12.259 --> 00:52:16.151
Then I will get a parole
from the parole board

00:52:16.175 --> 00:52:16.943
and will go home.

00:52:16.967 --> 00:52:20.068
It's been quite an experience,
and, um...

00:52:20.092 --> 00:52:21.276
♪

00:52:21.300 --> 00:52:23.068
I'm moving forward.

00:52:23.092 --> 00:52:30.402
♪

00:52:30.426 --> 00:52:31.735
[talking/laughing]

00:52:31.759 --> 00:52:35.610
(Felicia, voice-over)
I was released
from prison in 2009.

00:52:35.634 --> 00:52:40.527
I had a 20-year sentence,
and I served 6 1/2 years.

00:52:40.551 --> 00:52:41.818
Yeah, this is me.

00:52:41.842 --> 00:52:43.568
This is
all I have,

00:52:43.592 --> 00:52:46.193
and...it's...
just me and my kids.

00:52:46.217 --> 00:52:47.360
That's what
matters.

00:52:47.384 --> 00:52:50.110
My money situation
could be a whole lot better,

00:52:50.134 --> 00:52:55.775
but right now, I'm living off
of my, um...student loan...money

00:52:55.799 --> 00:52:57.568
and child support.

00:52:57.592 --> 00:53:00.443
I, uh...went
back to school,

00:53:00.467 --> 00:53:03.318
and I finished
my associate's degree

00:53:03.342 --> 00:53:07.110
that I had, um...started
prior to me
going to prison.

00:53:07.134 --> 00:53:11.818
I am currently goin' for my B.A.
in human services and psychology

00:53:11.842 --> 00:53:15.068
with a certificate
of, um...art therapy.

00:53:15.092 --> 00:53:17.610
This is my boys' room
right here.

00:53:17.634 --> 00:53:19.943
It's small,
but they got beds to lay in.

00:53:19.967 --> 00:53:24.775
[voice-over]
I think my struggle comes in at
is bein' a parent.

00:53:24.799 --> 00:53:27.193
Soon as I got out
of the facility,

00:53:27.217 --> 00:53:30.775
my mom and husband
pushed the kids off on me.

00:53:30.799 --> 00:53:32.276
That was one
of my prayers.

00:53:32.300 --> 00:53:36.610
To get all the kids and come
straight home and have them.

00:53:36.634 --> 00:53:39.402
I didn't know how to handle
that parenting part.

00:53:39.426 --> 00:53:44.151
I think my children still kind
of, uh...feel like I owe them,

00:53:44.175 --> 00:53:46.235
'cause of the time
I missed.

00:53:46.259 --> 00:53:49.443
I still think the oldest one
is still angry.

00:53:49.467 --> 00:53:52.527
Um...the middle one
I know is angry.

00:53:52.551 --> 00:53:54.818
And, uh...
the two youngest ones,

00:53:54.842 --> 00:53:56.735
they, you know,
they're okay with it.

00:53:56.759 --> 00:53:59.985
(Felicia, voice-over)
My oldest stays
with his grandmother.

00:54:00.009 --> 00:54:01.652
He can't stay
with me,

00:54:01.676 --> 00:54:03.775
because he had got
himself in trouble.

00:54:03.799 --> 00:54:09.318
He, um...caught hisself
sellin' drugs on the school,

00:54:09.342 --> 00:54:12.193
and so he was,
uh...sent to jail.

00:54:12.217 --> 00:54:14.859
My second son,
he got in trouble just recently.

00:54:14.883 --> 00:54:19.694
And I...I'm just like...I don't
want to throw my hands up at it,

00:54:19.718 --> 00:54:22.694
but I don't know what to do
as a mother.

00:54:22.718 --> 00:54:27.402
I done seen my whole family kind
of go through the prison system.

00:54:27.426 --> 00:54:30.610
I went
to the penitentiary...in '89.

00:54:30.634 --> 00:54:32.527
That's why
I tell my kids

00:54:32.551 --> 00:54:34.235
don't follow
in my footsteps.

00:54:34.259 --> 00:54:36.151
I want you
to do better.

00:54:36.175 --> 00:54:39.694
Don't want to see
my children in the system.

00:54:39.718 --> 00:54:40.775
That's one thing I said,

00:54:40.799 --> 00:54:43.775
um...when I was goin'
through my treatment.

00:54:43.799 --> 00:54:44.943
Is that, uh...

00:54:44.967 --> 00:54:45.775
♪

00:54:45.799 --> 00:54:49.026
that I wanted
to break the cycle in my family.

00:54:49.050 --> 00:54:51.193
I want them to know
something different.

00:54:51.217 --> 00:54:55.652
They don't have to sell drugs,
to fight, to do that.

00:54:55.676 --> 00:54:56.026
There's other ways

00:54:56.050 --> 00:54:58.151
to deal with whatever
you're goin' through.

00:54:58.175 --> 00:55:02.485
I wanna kinda forget that place
and just kinda move on

00:55:02.509 --> 00:55:04.527
and not have
to talk about it.

00:55:04.551 --> 00:55:08.360
But I like...I find myself
havin' to explain

00:55:08.384 --> 00:55:11.443
or defend those
that are in prison.

00:55:11.467 --> 00:55:12.818
You know what I mean?

00:55:12.842 --> 00:55:14.775
That's things
I have to do.

00:55:14.799 --> 00:55:17.151
I have to say,
I've been there--I know.

00:55:17.175 --> 00:55:21.443
More than anything is just
to be able to stay clean,

00:55:21.467 --> 00:55:22.775
take care of my kids,

00:55:22.799 --> 00:55:25.775
and finish everything
I set out to do.

00:55:25.799 --> 00:55:26.775
Know what I mean?

00:55:26.799 --> 00:55:29.527
And just live life
like everybody else.

00:55:29.551 --> 00:55:30.859
That's all I want.

00:55:30.883 --> 00:55:33.026
That's all I want.

00:55:33.050 --> 00:55:36.652
♪

00:55:36.676 --> 00:55:37.276
[chirping]

00:55:37.300 --> 00:55:40.901
(female #14)
Okay, at this time,
I will call for both.

00:55:40.925 --> 00:55:44.568
(Phillips)
Ms. Dyess, I am encouraged
by your comments

00:55:44.592 --> 00:55:46.068
about your need
to improve.

00:55:46.092 --> 00:55:48.360
(Robinson)
You are doin' a good job.

00:55:48.384 --> 00:55:50.985
We encourage you
to keep up the good work.

00:55:51.009 --> 00:55:53.610
(Tracey)
Recently, I started workin'
through stuff

00:55:53.634 --> 00:55:56.568
and dealin' with stuff,
since I've been locked up.

00:55:56.592 --> 00:55:59.859
Sooner or later,
I'm gonna walk out those gates.

00:55:59.883 --> 00:56:01.318
I've been taking classes.

00:56:01.342 --> 00:56:02.901
I've actually got
my GED.

00:56:02.925 --> 00:56:03.901
Been doin'
self-help books,

00:56:03.925 --> 00:56:06.775
talkin' to my counselors,
to the psychologist.

00:56:06.799 --> 00:56:07.775
The staff
have helped too.

00:56:07.799 --> 00:56:11.402
They've seen what I've came from
and how much I've improved.

00:56:11.426 --> 00:56:14.402
(Robinson)
Ms. Dyess, you have not served
enough time,

00:56:14.426 --> 00:56:17.276
and-and you yourself know
you haven't served enough time.

00:56:17.300 --> 00:56:20.775
(Felker)
I'm not impressed
by your statements on your part

00:56:20.799 --> 00:56:24.235
that you feel you've served
enough time on the sentence.

00:56:24.259 --> 00:56:26.485
(Tracey, voice-over)
Personally, I could handle

00:56:26.509 --> 00:56:28.818
sittin' the next...
till I discharge,

00:56:28.842 --> 00:56:31.859
which is another 17 years
in here.

00:56:31.883 --> 00:56:33.402
I wanna get out there.

00:56:33.426 --> 00:56:35.859
Have a family of my own--
have kids.

00:56:35.883 --> 00:56:38.276
Raise them how I
should've been raised.

00:56:38.300 --> 00:56:39.943
Get reconnected
with my grandparents,

00:56:39.967 --> 00:56:41.527
maybe with my mother...
who knows.

00:56:41.551 --> 00:56:44.735
(Robinson)
Even though I-I do believe
you're sorry, uh...

00:56:44.759 --> 00:56:47.527
I-I-I really believe that,
but it's not coming over.

00:56:47.551 --> 00:56:51.694
(female #15)
At this time, I cannot support
your request.

00:56:51.718 --> 00:56:53.527
I will be a no vote.

00:56:53.551 --> 00:56:55.068
(Felker)
My vote is no.

00:56:55.092 --> 00:56:56.775
(Phillips)
My vote is no.

00:56:56.799 --> 00:56:59.276
(Robinson)
My vote today is no.

00:56:59.300 --> 00:57:08.527
♪

00:57:08.551 --> 00:57:11.193
[door buzzing]

00:57:11.217 --> 00:57:13.610
(Andrea)
I did have
a life sentence,

00:57:13.634 --> 00:57:16.901
but it has been overturned
by the, um...appeals court.

00:57:16.925 --> 00:57:21.776
And I'm going to get
a new trial and a new chance.

00:57:21.800 --> 00:57:23.818
I have a bond
right now.

00:57:23.842 --> 00:57:24.775
Can you
believe that?

00:57:24.799 --> 00:57:28.318
It's-it's incredibly expensive,
and nobody could ever afford it.

00:57:28.342 --> 00:57:30.775
But...um...it's like
half a million dollars,

00:57:30.799 --> 00:57:33.818
but if I had
half a million dollars,

00:57:33.842 --> 00:57:34.775
I could leave.

00:57:34.799 --> 00:57:38.818
I've been here almost...
well, three years, eight months.

00:57:38.842 --> 00:57:42.775
And I finally get to see
the board in May.

00:57:42.799 --> 00:57:44.402
I'm scared...
scared to leave.

00:57:44.426 --> 00:57:45.776
I'm scared
I'm institutionalized.

00:57:45.800 --> 00:57:46.818
I'm scared
my children

00:57:46.842 --> 00:57:48.776
won't, um...want
anything to do with me.

00:57:48.800 --> 00:57:53.360
I'm scared that I've let them
down so much that, you know,

00:57:53.384 --> 00:57:55.610
where do I pick up
the pieces?

00:57:55.634 --> 00:57:57.775
Uh...so I'm very nervous
about everything.

00:57:57.799 --> 00:58:00.985
I went to work release
for three...months.

00:58:01.009 --> 00:58:05.652
And from there, um...
a family kind of adopted me.

00:58:05.676 --> 00:58:07.360
Um...I got
my own apartment.

00:58:07.384 --> 00:58:08.775
Was living by myself.

00:58:08.799 --> 00:58:09.775
Was doing very well.

00:58:09.799 --> 00:58:12.235
And I, uh...I got stupid,
like everybody,

00:58:12.259 --> 00:58:15.318
and decided that I wanted
to go out shoplifting.

00:58:15.342 --> 00:58:18.775
Even though I don't need it,
I went out.

00:58:18.799 --> 00:58:19.775
I had my debit card.

00:58:19.799 --> 00:58:23.652
I had the money there,
and I decided to shoplift.

00:58:23.676 --> 00:58:24.652
They violated
my parole.

00:58:24.676 --> 00:58:27.943
When I came back,
there were a lot of people

00:58:27.967 --> 00:58:30.360
that were really,
um...disappointed in me.

00:58:30.384 --> 00:58:32.610
I have not been mature
at all.

00:58:32.634 --> 00:58:34.193
Very childish
and very irresponsible.

00:58:34.217 --> 00:58:39.443
And now I'm able to say,
no, I don't wanna do this.

00:58:39.467 --> 00:58:41.193
Or no I won't go anywhere.

00:58:41.217 --> 00:58:44.193
And no I'm not coming back
to prison.

00:58:44.217 --> 00:58:46.775
About a year ago,
I had a breakdown.

00:58:46.799 --> 00:58:49.943
Was goin' through a lot
of emotional stuff

00:58:49.967 --> 00:58:51.775
and changes in my life.

00:58:51.799 --> 00:58:52.859
I was always numb

00:58:52.883 --> 00:58:54.943
to, you know,
not having feelings.

00:58:54.967 --> 00:58:56.775
Not going
through the emotions

00:58:56.799 --> 00:58:57.610
like a normal person.

00:58:57.634 --> 00:59:01.901
And I was taught how to have
emotions at 36 years old,

00:59:01.925 --> 00:59:04.775
and that's sad to say,
in prison.

00:59:04.799 --> 00:59:05.735
But...yeah.

00:59:05.759 --> 00:59:10.652
I can't wait
to...be me out there.

00:59:10.676 --> 00:59:14.193
Well, yeah, so...
one of these days.

00:59:14.217 --> 00:59:16.610
This is the longest
I've ever lived

00:59:16.634 --> 00:59:19.360
in one place
in my whole life...ever.

00:59:19.384 --> 00:59:22.068
I was arrested
when I was 21.

00:59:22.092 --> 00:59:22.943
♪

00:59:22.967 --> 00:59:23.901
I am 30.

00:59:23.925 --> 00:59:25.694
I've lost too much.

00:59:25.718 --> 00:59:28.360
It's not material
possessions.

00:59:28.384 --> 00:59:31.901
It's not...a person.

00:59:31.925 --> 00:59:37.402
It's...it's so much
of my life...

00:59:37.426 --> 00:59:38.694
that I've lost.

00:59:38.718 --> 00:59:41.193
I've given
the state of Iowa,

00:59:41.217 --> 00:59:43.943
you know,
14 years of my life.

00:59:43.967 --> 00:59:45.985
Iowa doesn't have
the death penalty,

00:59:46.009 --> 00:59:48.485
so they give life
without parole,

00:59:48.509 --> 00:59:53.360
which is actually a long,
drawn-out death sentence.

00:59:53.384 --> 00:59:57.235
It's saying that,
um...I'm a criminal

00:59:57.259 --> 01:00:01.985
who can never in life
be rehabilitated

01:00:02.009 --> 01:00:05.901
or be okay
to be in society.

01:00:05.925 --> 01:00:09.235
And that's not true.

01:00:09.259 --> 01:00:15.360
[wind blowing]

01:00:15.384 --> 01:00:15.775
[chirping]

01:00:15.799 --> 01:00:20.485
(Phillips)
Ms. Louisell, I commend you
on the many activities,

01:00:20.509 --> 01:00:22.443
programs that you've done
and accomplished,

01:00:22.467 --> 01:00:25.193
and I think that is
just a tremendous effort.

01:00:25.217 --> 01:00:27.985
(Robinson)
You have given a lot
to Mitchellville.

01:00:28.009 --> 01:00:30.652
You've, uh...mentored
a lot of young women.

01:00:30.676 --> 01:00:33.026
You have also become
a role model

01:00:33.050 --> 01:00:35.485
and a very talented person.

01:00:35.509 --> 01:00:38.818
No matter what
your situation is...

01:00:38.842 --> 01:00:42.068
you can
still maintain hope.

01:00:42.092 --> 01:00:45.235
I've always had the attitude
that, you know,

01:00:45.259 --> 01:00:50.360
maybe 15, 20, 25, 30 years,
I'm going to get that chance,

01:00:50.384 --> 01:00:52.985
although 15 and 20
have obviously past,

01:00:53.009 --> 01:00:55.694
and I still haven't gotten
that chance.

01:00:55.718 --> 01:00:56.985
But I still have that hope.

01:00:57.009 --> 01:00:59.735
(Kelley)
Your request for commutation
is supported

01:00:59.759 --> 01:01:02.818
with numerous letters
of recommendation,

01:01:02.842 --> 01:01:05.818
but there's also letters
opposing your commutation.

01:01:05.842 --> 01:01:13.360
(Phillips)
As you, uh...ask for mercy,
uh...to-to me, mercy, uh...

01:01:13.384 --> 01:01:17.318
is Iowa not having
the death sentence.

01:01:17.342 --> 01:01:21.775
I think what keeps me going
is the hope this is not it.

01:01:21.799 --> 01:01:26.068
Somebody told me today
that this was it.

01:01:26.092 --> 01:01:28.402
That I was going
to be here forever,

01:01:28.426 --> 01:01:33.735
and that, um...all I was ever
going to accomplish in my life

01:01:33.759 --> 01:01:36.652
was what-what I
was going to do in here.

01:01:36.676 --> 01:01:41.527
And I don't know...I don't know
for sure if I will be able

01:01:41.551 --> 01:01:44.235
to keep going
the way that I do now.

01:01:44.259 --> 01:01:48.818
(Felker)
Based on what I've heard today
and reviewing the file,

01:01:48.842 --> 01:01:49.443
my vote is no.

01:01:49.467 --> 01:01:53.193
(Kelley)
At this time, I cannot support
your request.

01:01:53.217 --> 01:01:54.610
I will be a no.

01:01:54.634 --> 01:01:56.735
(Robinson)
My vote will be no.

01:01:56.759 --> 01:01:58.775
(Philips)
My vote is no.

01:01:58.799 --> 01:02:11.775
♪

01:02:11.799 --> 01:02:14.818
(Battles)
It's devastating
when a woman is turned down.

01:02:14.842 --> 01:02:20.568
The stories of what they've
gone through are harrowing.

01:02:20.592 --> 01:02:24.235
♪

01:02:24.259 --> 01:02:26.818
And not being able
to-to fix that.

01:02:26.842 --> 01:02:31.235
And to know that it's happening
to other women right now too,

01:02:31.259 --> 01:02:36.360
and that some women
don't survive it is...

01:02:36.384 --> 01:02:39.527
♪

01:02:39.551 --> 01:02:43.110
unbelievable...and painful.

01:02:43.134 --> 01:02:46.735
♪

01:02:46.759 --> 01:02:50.610
(Covington)
As human beings,
we like things to be clear--

01:02:50.634 --> 01:02:52.775
yes, no,
black, white, you know.

01:02:52.799 --> 01:02:55.775
But life...most of life is grey.

01:02:55.799 --> 01:02:59.568
You know, there's a lot
of sort of in between stuff.

01:02:59.592 --> 01:03:03.735
And I don't think we do well
with grey at all.

01:03:03.759 --> 01:03:05.775
I think it's-it's hard.

01:03:05.799 --> 01:04:59.026
♪

01:04:59.050 --> 01:05:01.775
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01:05:01.799 --> 01:05:04.943
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01:05:04.967 --> 01:05:07.883
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