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(door creaking)

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Greg>Hello.
Mandy>Hi.

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Greg>Good, good. How are you? (coughs)

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So, back to kind of why

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I wanted to just touch base with you.

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Just kind of go over where you're at.

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Madison>I want him to have to answer to other people

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about what he did to me as much as I have.

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Greg>Right. But-

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Madison>And if we don't do anything about it,

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it's just gonna keep happening,

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and he's gonna keep victimizing more people.

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Greg>Again, though, it all comes back

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to that withdrawal of consent.

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And that's, you know, that's the point that has gone

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around and around and around.

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Madison>You're the only person that has ever told me

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that this wasn't rape.

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I was raped.

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And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be silent about it.

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(gentle piano music)
(crowd chattering)

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->I remember, this was one of my favorites of you.

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This is the one where you were like totally confident

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and loved it and enjoyed it.

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->I really liked this one.

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(children singing)

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I did this one too.

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Mom>Yes, you did. I remember you doing this dance.

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I do have a lot of happy memories growing up in Lindsborg.

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Jason>There you go.

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Mandy>Good hit, baby.
Jason>Good hit.

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->Everybody knows everybody

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and it's just got this great little charm to it.

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It was fun to grow up here.

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And with my dad being a cop growing up,

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I felt especially safe.

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It didn't feel like anybody was gonna hurt you or anything.

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Jason>Maddie!

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->Growing up, Maddie was absolutely the opposite

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of a pushover.

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She was so strong, so fierce.

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I didn't have to worry about her.

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Jason>Go, Maddie!

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Mandy>And so I never thought that she would be

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the victim of this kind of crime.

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And I certainly never considered

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that she would feel raped again by the justice system.

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->Bethany College is a Lutheran college,

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about 800 students max.

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Just a couple blocks away from where I grew up.

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And there's our mascot, the Swede.

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And then over here is the football stadium.

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(gentle music)

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(cheerleaders cheering)

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I didn't originally plan to go to Bethany,

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but when I got there, I loved it so much.

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My freshman year I lived in New Hall on Bethany campus,

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and there's probably 10 or 15 of us

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that would hang out every night,

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do homework together, study together, play games all night,

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and it was a lot of fun.

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Jared Stolzenberg was part of that group

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and we hung out all the time.

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We were pretty good friends.

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Jared definitely just seemed like every other normal person.

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I didn't really feel like anything was off.

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I just thought everything was fine.

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And then the night of February 11th, 2018,

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I was getting ready to do some laundry.

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I went to the laundry room and I saw Jared in there.

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He asked if I wanted to go hang out in his room

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and I said yes.

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We started talking about our futures,

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what we saw for ourselves.

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And he started kissing me,

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and then he started taking my clothes off.

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And we started to have sex.

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Everything was okay, it was all consensual.

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And then he just became so different.

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His eyes looked like something had just possessed him,

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like that was not the person that I knew.

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It turned very violent very quickly,

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and he slapped me across my face, both directions.

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And as we had sex, he began to strangle me.

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I grabbed his wrist and I tried to pull it off of me,

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and he wouldn't allow that.

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And he, his grip got tighter.

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I was gasping for air.

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I just wanted him to stop, but he didn't.

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He would strangle me for 20 to 30 seconds at a time

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until I would start to lose consciousness.

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I thought that this is how I die.

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I'm 19 years old and this is how I die.

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And then he stood up on the bed

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and yanked me up by my hair

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into a sitting position from a lying position.

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He made me sit up and then forced me

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to give him a blowjob by pulling my head with my hair.

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Having something jammed into your mouth,

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it was incredibly scary, it was incredibly painful.

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To survive, I'd had to separate myself from my body.

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I don't remember thinking about anything else

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other than doing whatever I had to do to make sure

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that I was gonna walk out of there alive.

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That whole ordeal, I think, in reality

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was maybe 20 minutes, but it felt like it took a year.

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After the rape was over, I just wanted to get outta there,

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so I fled the scene.

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->It was later in my workday at work,

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and Madison sent me a text and asked if she

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and her friend Alanna could come over.

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And, you know, "Of course you can.

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Why are you asking me if you can come over?"

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And I kind of thought, "Well, maybe they want dinner."

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It wasn't until I was home and in the driveway

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that I realized, "Oh, there's something going on here

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that she's going to tell us, so."

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->I saw her walk up with a friend of hers

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and her mom and I were out there,

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and I was just showing off my new tools

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and she said she had something to say,

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and so I stopped what I was doing.

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I looked up and then she told me that she was-

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->She pulled the neck of her hoodie down

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and showed us the bruising on her neck

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and told us that she was raped last night.

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And our whole world stopped in that moment in the driveway.

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->You just can't imagine, just the agony

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that goes with seeing that.

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It's one of the most horrible things

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you could ever even-

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And then said, "Maybe we should report this.

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This is gonna be tough. Have you thought about this?"

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And it's immediately, "Yeah, I'm on board. Let's go."

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And so that's what we did.

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->While Maddie was giving her statement,

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I was doing the best I could to be present, to be available

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to her and be there with her.

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But there were moments I just couldn't take it.

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I was just so broken and I couldn't fix it.

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You know, when they're little and they scratch,

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you know, they scratch themselves,

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you can put a bandaid on it and it's okay.

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And this was way beyond me being able to make okay.

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->We had to go through the hospital for the SANE/SART

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investigation, the rape kit.

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To think that he was somewhere in the area...

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That's tough.

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That's tough not to go door-to-door and just find him.

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And maybe it's just quicker and it's easier and...

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But I'm not helping her.

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If I do something, it denies her the justice

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that she should get.

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Because the system should work.

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(gentle music)

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(gentle music continues)

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->I've been a sexual assault nurse examiner since 2009,

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so approximately 13 years.

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We are considered impartial third party.

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And so our sexual assault report

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is considered evidence in a court of law.

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On Madison's examination, the most pertinent findings

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that I had were the bruising around her neck

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and she had petechiae in the roof of her mouth.

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Bruising around the neck corroborated her statements

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that she was being strangled

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and that she had grabbed the hands

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and was trying to remove the hands from around her neck,

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which could have caused the abrasions

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on the side of her neck.

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There was also petechiae in the roof of her mouth,

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which is where capillaries have burst.

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This corroborated her statement

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that the alleged perpetrator's penis

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was forcibly placed in her mouth.

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She also had erythema, which is a medical term for redness

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around her vulva.

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This could corroborate Madison's statement

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that she had been forcibly penetrated.

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->You hear so many things about how colleges don't respond

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to reports of sexual assaults on their campuses.

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And I was very pleasantly surprised

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with how Bethany College responded.

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They conducted a really thorough and swift investigation,

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and they expelled Jared.

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I felt like they took it more seriously

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than our police department did.

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I don't understand why they didn't just take him

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to jail immediately.

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->After Madison gave her statement to the police

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and had already submitted to the rape kit,

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that's when the police had Jared come down to the station

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and they did an interview there at the station.

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The statements that he makes that says,

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"That's just what I'm into.

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I thought that would be her thing, too."

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The rape kit's complete, the evidence exists.

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The admission is there.

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If I had still been in law enforcement

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and I had taken this case,

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I would've certainly arrested him.

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(gentle music)

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->After the rape, my life completely changed.

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Completely derailed my whole plan for college.

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I tried to live back on campus, wasn't sleeping very well.

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->She tried different halls, different dorm rooms,

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and just, she couldn't do it.

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->She couldn't be there.

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She couldn't walk those hallways,

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she couldn't do her laundry.

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It was just too much.

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->So I eventually just moved home.

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I felt very safe and I think

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that's what I needed at that point.

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->The smallest things just became such a big deal to her.

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She couldn't go to the grocery store alone.

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She was scared to walk in and out of work alone.

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I was beginning to wonder if she would

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ever be herself again.

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->The first panic attack I had

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was only a few days after the rape.

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I was just watching TV and I think it was "Grey's Anatomy."

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And there's a lot of sexual things

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that happen in Grey's Anatomy,

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and I didn't think about it before,

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and I think that's what set it off.

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I remember puking and then I started hyperventilating,

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and then I just started sobbing.

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That's the day I got prescribed anti-depressants

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and anti-anxiety meds.

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I was in a very bad place.

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I just wanted to sleep. That's all I wanted to do.

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->Before we met with the county attorney, Greg Benefiel,

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to talk about the different charges.

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We were prosecuting it ourselves, you know,

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around the dinner table and that type of thing.

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There were at least three charges that we were certain

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that this would fit.

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Aggravated sexual battery would've been the lowest charge.

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Aggravated criminal sodomy

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and then rape.

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->Going into the first meeting with the county attorney,

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I was very optimistic.

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I knew that I'd done everything I could

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and should have done to prepare.

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When we first showed up,

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he initially had asked to speak to me alone,

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and the first thing he said to me was,

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"We don't, we're not charging him with anything,

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because this wasn't rape, it was immature sex."

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I shut off.

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->And he opened the door and invited Jason and I in.

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He started talking to us and trying to sugarcoat things.

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My husband interrupted him and he said,

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"Are you telling me you're not filing

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any charges in this case?"

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And the county attorney told my husband,

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"That's exactly what I'm telling you."

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->And I remember thinking to myself, "Oh my God, wait,

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maybe he doesn't understand it.

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Maybe there's, maybe he didn't get the report yet."

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How can this be?

263
00:15:03.540 --> 00:15:07.203
You can't just say no, you can't just blow it off!

264
00:15:08.070 --> 00:15:11.133
When he called it just immature sex.

265
00:15:13.980 --> 00:15:14.813
What?

266
00:15:16.599 --> 00:15:19.230
->So my husband told him he was the biggest pussy

267
00:15:19.230 --> 00:15:21.930
he'd ever met and stood up and we walked out the door.

268
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And Madison lost it.

269
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->I was bawling.

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I was hysterical because at that point,

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that was the first person who told me

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that I wasn't raped.

273
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And I knew that I was, and I was like,

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"How can he think that?"

275
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->She was just sobbing.

276
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And I couldn't calm her down.

277
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And it was that day that I learned what re-victimization is.

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Prior to this experience, I didn't quite grasp

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that prosecutors have the power that they do.

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And that it's at their discretion if they file a charge

281
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or don't file a charge.

282
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And it blew my mind that one person

283
00:16:08.340 --> 00:16:10.473
could have that much power,

284
00:16:13.080 --> 00:16:14.910
and maybe not even know what they're doing

285
00:16:14.910 --> 00:16:16.410
with the power that they have.

286
00:16:21.360 --> 00:16:24.090
What was it, a week later, maybe after that meeting,

287
00:16:24.090 --> 00:16:27.000
I decided I would just pop in and see if he was available

288
00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:29.880
because I needed him to explain to me

289
00:16:29.880 --> 00:16:31.443
why he felt the way he did.

290
00:16:34.470 --> 00:16:35.828
I'm just stunned.

291
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Greg>Okay.

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Mandy>I'm just, I'm stunned.

293
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Greg>I understand.

294
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Mandy>And I'm heartbroken.

295
00:16:39.160 --> 00:16:39.993
Greg>I understand.

296
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Mandy>This is my baby and she's not okay.

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Greg>There are two legal standards,

298
00:16:42.780 --> 00:16:45.480
you know, probable cause and beyond a reasonable doubt.

299
00:16:45.480 --> 00:16:46.932
And this is a case I don't even think we get

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beyond probable cause.

301
00:16:50.490 --> 00:16:54.510
Maddie was a willing partner who was not willing,

302
00:16:54.510 --> 00:16:55.803
if that makes sense.

303
00:16:56.670 --> 00:17:01.200
The sexual relationship begins as a consensual relationship.

304
00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:04.530
It changes to a non-consensual in her mind.

305
00:17:04.530 --> 00:17:06.450
But then the issue becomes

306
00:17:06.450 --> 00:17:10.050
whether or not he had any knowledge whatsoever

307
00:17:10.050 --> 00:17:12.840
of that withdrawal of consent.

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Mandy>She was crying.

309
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She thought he was going to kill her.

310
00:17:21.900 --> 00:17:26.490
Greg>I agree that his behavior was reprehensible,

311
00:17:26.490 --> 00:17:28.770
but the decision that had to be made is,

312
00:17:28.770 --> 00:17:33.000
does it rise to the level of criminal behavior?

313
00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:35.550
Mandy>My research, the people I've spoken with,

314
00:17:35.550 --> 00:17:38.940
you don't have to scream, "No, stop, you're raping me"

315
00:17:38.940 --> 00:17:41.040
for consent to be revoked.

316
00:17:41.040 --> 00:17:42.000
Greg>Well, okay.

317
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:45.570
The law is really clear on this point.

318
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Mandy>Okay.

319
00:17:46.403 --> 00:17:47.850
Greg>Where it starts consensually,

320
00:17:47.850 --> 00:17:50.430
there actually has to be be clear communication

321
00:17:50.430 --> 00:17:53.283
to the other person that consent was withdrawn.

322
00:17:54.930 --> 00:17:58.170
->He told me that there was case law that says

323
00:17:58.170 --> 00:18:01.410
you have to verbally withdraw consent once you've given it.

324
00:18:01.410 --> 00:18:03.510
I asked him to see that case law.

325
00:18:03.510 --> 00:18:05.487
He said, "I will get you that case law."

326
00:18:05.487 --> 00:18:07.413
I still haven't seen that case law.

327
00:18:08.850 --> 00:18:10.590
And the reason I haven't seen that case law

328
00:18:10.590 --> 00:18:12.180
is because it's bullshit.

329
00:18:12.180 --> 00:18:13.953
And the case law doesn't exist.

330
00:18:15.390 --> 00:18:18.447
Dammit, you can't just do things like that

331
00:18:18.447 --> 00:18:21.180
and there be no consequences.

332
00:18:21.180 --> 00:18:22.013
Greg>Well, you know-

333
00:18:22.013 --> 00:18:24.420
Mandy>She has to live with it forever.

334
00:18:24.420 --> 00:18:27.063
Greg>She's a victim. I recognize that.

335
00:18:29.506 --> 00:18:30.339
Mandy>It just makes me sick

336
00:18:30.339 --> 00:18:31.950
that he's gonna get away with it.

337
00:18:32.910 --> 00:18:34.800
Greg>I understand that.

338
00:18:34.800 --> 00:18:38.643
He broke rules, but not really legal rules.

339
00:18:41.340 --> 00:18:45.090
->I was just a mom, just a really sad mom.

340
00:18:45.090 --> 00:18:46.920
You know, I have no legal training,

341
00:18:46.920 --> 00:18:49.350
but I had learned just enough to know

342
00:18:49.350 --> 00:18:50.880
that he was terribly wrong

343
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:53.103
in everything that he was saying to me.

344
00:18:55.380 --> 00:18:58.563
Still, I was like, "This is how it ends. This is it.

345
00:19:00.510 --> 00:19:02.510
I guess there's nothing else we can do."

346
00:19:04.598 --> 00:19:07.181
(gentle music)

347
00:19:13.853 --> 00:19:17.270
(gentle music continues)

348
00:19:24.420 --> 00:19:26.460
Host>In this episode, you'll hear how a team

349
00:19:26.460 --> 00:19:27.840
of three people in Utah-

350
00:19:27.840 --> 00:19:30.213
->I was giving up all hope.

351
00:19:31.110 --> 00:19:34.560
And then almost a year after Madison was raped,

352
00:19:34.560 --> 00:19:38.220
I heard this podcast where a former law enforcement officer

353
00:19:38.220 --> 00:19:39.053
was speaking.

354
00:19:40.560 --> 00:19:43.770
Host>In 2012, Justin Boardman was a police officer

355
00:19:43.770 --> 00:19:46.860
at the West Valley City Police Department in Utah.

356
00:19:46.860 --> 00:19:49.560
When it came to rape or sexual assault,

357
00:19:49.560 --> 00:19:52.560
Justin admits he was lost.

358
00:19:52.560 --> 00:19:55.170
Justin>We investigated the crime to close them,

359
00:19:55.170 --> 00:19:59.160
not to solve them or to prosecute them.

360
00:19:59.160 --> 00:20:03.603
->Every word he said was every way that I felt.

361
00:20:04.830 --> 00:20:08.400
The thing that piqued my curiosity the most,

362
00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:12.330
he talked about how he felt like he had re-victimized

363
00:20:12.330 --> 00:20:14.520
victims throughout his years,

364
00:20:14.520 --> 00:20:18.930
because he didn't understand how to interview them

365
00:20:18.930 --> 00:20:21.510
and the trauma that they go through.

366
00:20:21.510 --> 00:20:24.990
Justin>Once I realized, "Dude, you screwed up,"

367
00:20:24.990 --> 00:20:27.810
there was a lot of guilt, first off,

368
00:20:27.810 --> 00:20:30.033
but I didn't know what I didn't know.

369
00:20:31.290 --> 00:20:33.423
->I sent Justin a message.

370
00:20:35.660 --> 00:20:38.327
(keys clicking)

371
00:20:41.670 --> 00:20:43.110
I didn't ask for anything.

372
00:20:43.110 --> 00:20:46.530
I just thanked him and told him a little bit

373
00:20:46.530 --> 00:20:48.150
about what we had been going through

374
00:20:48.150 --> 00:20:50.100
with the county attorney.

375
00:20:50.100 --> 00:20:54.180
And he was so angry that the county attorney

376
00:20:54.180 --> 00:20:55.983
told her it was immature sex.

377
00:20:59.490 --> 00:21:01.860
And that might be what compelled him

378
00:21:01.860 --> 00:21:03.893
to jump in and help with this fight.

379
00:21:10.110 --> 00:21:14.370
->People will ask me a lot why I do what I do.

380
00:21:14.370 --> 00:21:17.673
It's symbolized by the tattoo on my elbow.

381
00:21:19.170 --> 00:21:21.180
There's a little girl and her grandfather

382
00:21:21.180 --> 00:21:24.630
walking along with the ocean and all these starfish

383
00:21:24.630 --> 00:21:29.400
have washed up onto the shore, as far as the eye can see.

384
00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:31.410
And she bends over and she picks one up

385
00:21:31.410 --> 00:21:33.093
and throws it out into the ocean.

386
00:21:33.930 --> 00:21:35.550
And he asks her what she's doing.

387
00:21:35.550 --> 00:21:39.540
She says, "I'm saving their lives."

388
00:21:39.540 --> 00:21:41.400
And he says, "Look at all these starfish.

389
00:21:41.400 --> 00:21:43.887
You can't save all of them."

390
00:21:44.820 --> 00:21:47.310
And she bends down and picks up another one

391
00:21:47.310 --> 00:21:49.920
and throws it out into the ocean.

392
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:52.320
And she goes, "I made a difference to that one."

393
00:21:54.150 --> 00:21:57.003
There are so many survivors,

394
00:21:58.090 --> 00:21:59.970
can't save them all,

395
00:21:59.970 --> 00:22:03.540
but if I can make a difference in one at a time's

396
00:22:03.540 --> 00:22:07.830
life and somehow lighten their load,

397
00:22:13.070 --> 00:22:13.970
I need to do that.

398
00:22:20.190 --> 00:22:23.670
I worked police work for 15 years,

399
00:22:23.670 --> 00:22:26.613
mostly domestic violence and sexual assault.

400
00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:32.047
From my person that was training me said,

401
00:22:32.047 --> 00:22:34.020
"You'll know a real rape when you see one."

402
00:22:34.020 --> 00:22:37.080
That would be, okay, a stranger jumps out from the bushes

403
00:22:37.080 --> 00:22:38.070
and drags somebody in.

404
00:22:38.070 --> 00:22:40.590
Holy crap, we have a rapist.

405
00:22:40.590 --> 00:22:43.983
Not they went to the party, they were drinking,

406
00:22:43.983 --> 00:22:48.030
they were kissing for fun, whatever.

407
00:22:48.030 --> 00:22:51.000
And then this, that, and the other happened.

408
00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:53.490
And now that person is calling and saying

409
00:22:53.490 --> 00:22:54.540
that they were raped.

410
00:22:56.730 --> 00:23:00.273
Honestly, I investigated those cases to get them to go away.

411
00:23:02.820 --> 00:23:04.770
I can't think of any other crime

412
00:23:04.770 --> 00:23:07.623
that a victim is treated as the suspect.

413
00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:11.940
We don't walk into a bank after a bank robbery

414
00:23:11.940 --> 00:23:14.160
and go, "What did you just expect was gonna happen?

415
00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:15.410
You have all this money."

416
00:23:17.040 --> 00:23:22.040
Eventually, I realized that I had caused a lot of damage

417
00:23:22.440 --> 00:23:23.913
and a lot of heartache.

418
00:23:25.740 --> 00:23:28.127
I had hurt people, lots of people.

419
00:23:37.600 --> 00:23:40.017
(soft music)

420
00:23:48.172 --> 00:23:49.620
Knock, knock. Hi.

421
00:23:49.620 --> 00:23:50.910
->Hello.
->How's it going?

422
00:23:50.910 --> 00:23:52.060
Clerk>Good, how are you, sir?

423
00:23:52.060 --> 00:23:55.983
->Good. I'm here to check in for across the street.

424
00:23:59.160 --> 00:24:03.060
I spend over 300 days a year traveling

425
00:24:03.060 --> 00:24:05.853
throughout the United States and internationally.

426
00:24:07.140 --> 00:24:10.740
I've worked with hundreds of police departments

427
00:24:10.740 --> 00:24:15.740
and trained tens thousands of police officers, detectives,

428
00:24:15.750 --> 00:24:19.173
investigators, how to do better investigations.

429
00:24:21.090 --> 00:24:25.020
And then I do consulting, helping coach victims

430
00:24:25.020 --> 00:24:26.370
through the justice system

431
00:24:26.370 --> 00:24:29.280
if they're having a lot of resistance

432
00:24:29.280 --> 00:24:31.230
from the justice system.

433
00:24:31.230 --> 00:24:35.920
And that is why I'm here in Lindsborg, Kansas.

434
00:24:39.300 --> 00:24:43.620
I wanted to help the Smiths, Jason, Mandy, and Madison

435
00:24:43.620 --> 00:24:44.883
obtain justice.

436
00:24:51.360 --> 00:24:54.603
It started off consensual.

437
00:24:56.070 --> 00:25:01.070
And he puts his hand on your throat.

438
00:25:02.820 --> 00:25:05.513
Can you tell me a little bit more about how that may feel?

439
00:25:07.110 --> 00:25:09.930
->It felt like there were a thousand pounds

440
00:25:09.930 --> 00:25:12.780
of just weights just sitting on my neck.

441
00:25:12.780 --> 00:25:15.480
And it felt like I couldn't breathe.

442
00:25:15.480 --> 00:25:18.000
I tried to pull his hand off of my throat

443
00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:20.493
and his grip got tighter.

444
00:25:22.320 --> 00:25:23.652
->Can you tell me more about that?

445
00:25:23.652 --> 00:25:26.887
->That was the exact instant where I thought,

446
00:25:26.887 --> 00:25:30.237
"I'm 19 years old and somebody's gonna murder me right now."

447
00:25:33.690 --> 00:25:38.690
->So under Kansas law, consensual sex can become rape

448
00:25:38.730 --> 00:25:41.643
when there's force or fear.

449
00:25:42.840 --> 00:25:47.804
And so the force in Madison's experience

450
00:25:47.804 --> 00:25:51.720
would be the strangulation, that is force.

451
00:25:51.720 --> 00:25:55.492
And then the fear, she thought that she was going to die.

452
00:25:55.492 --> 00:25:58.140
->I'm like, it was like I was drowning without

453
00:25:58.140 --> 00:26:00.600
being in a pool or in a lake or what have you.

454
00:26:00.600 --> 00:26:03.693
->That's articulable fear, is rape.

455
00:26:06.690 --> 00:26:10.530
A lot of times people will feel like they were

456
00:26:10.530 --> 00:26:12.612
violated worse by the system

457
00:26:12.612 --> 00:26:15.090
than they were by the offender themselves.

458
00:26:15.090 --> 00:26:16.640
->I would say it's about equal.

459
00:26:17.940 --> 00:26:22.117
I don't use the word, "I hate people" a lot or ever,

460
00:26:23.324 --> 00:26:25.800
but there are two people in this world I hate.

461
00:26:25.800 --> 00:26:27.390
He is one of them.

462
00:26:27.390 --> 00:26:28.290
->County attorney.

463
00:26:29.580 --> 00:26:31.200
->I think Greg Benefiel,

464
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:33.540
he's already made up his mind about the case.

465
00:26:33.540 --> 00:26:35.070
And he did that before even meeting

466
00:26:35.070 --> 00:26:36.900
with me for the first time.

467
00:26:36.900 --> 00:26:38.350
It's like a punch in the gut.

468
00:26:39.540 --> 00:26:42.990
->Sexual assault crimes are very hard to get filed,

469
00:26:42.990 --> 00:26:44.043
don't get me wrong.

470
00:26:45.810 --> 00:26:47.190
But this was one of the slam dunks.

471
00:26:47.190 --> 00:26:50.070
These are the ones that the prosecutors

472
00:26:50.070 --> 00:26:53.082
where I was from would go, "Oh heck yeah,

473
00:26:53.082 --> 00:26:56.280
this is a good case," this, it's a horrific case,

474
00:26:56.280 --> 00:26:59.130
don't get me wrong, but it would be a good case

475
00:26:59.130 --> 00:27:04.083
to push forward, because the evidence is there.

476
00:27:05.430 --> 00:27:10.320
They even have a confession from the suspect in this case

477
00:27:10.320 --> 00:27:13.197
that says, "Yes, I strangled her."

478
00:27:16.500 --> 00:27:19.593
Strangulation is against the law.

479
00:27:21.060 --> 00:27:25.957
Now there's people that may practice that in consensual sex.

480
00:27:27.690 --> 00:27:32.100
That community is extremely

481
00:27:32.100 --> 00:27:36.303
consent-minded and communicative.

482
00:27:37.290 --> 00:27:38.823
This had none of that.

483
00:27:41.280 --> 00:27:44.697
There was no asking permission, "May I do this?"

484
00:27:47.970 --> 00:27:52.970
He thought girls like rough sex. He didn't ask.

485
00:27:53.040 --> 00:27:56.733
He assumed and he assumed very incorrectly.

486
00:27:59.040 --> 00:28:02.280
All right, what about getting a hold of your representative

487
00:28:02.280 --> 00:28:04.470
or your senator for the legislature

488
00:28:04.470 --> 00:28:06.267
and say, "This is what's happening

489
00:28:06.267 --> 00:28:08.220
and this is where we're held up."

490
00:28:08.220 --> 00:28:11.370
Mandy>Having Justin on our team was a game changer.

491
00:28:11.370 --> 00:28:14.130
Every time the county attorney would try to get rid of us,

492
00:28:14.130 --> 00:28:16.197
Justin would come up with a new plan of attack.

493
00:28:16.197 --> 00:28:19.590
->And I look up, what does it take in Kansas

494
00:28:19.590 --> 00:28:22.830
to recall an elected official?

495
00:28:22.830 --> 00:28:27.360
->He has this huge network of prosecutors,

496
00:28:27.360 --> 00:28:30.690
law enforcement officers, advocates,

497
00:28:30.690 --> 00:28:32.640
and one of the best things he did

498
00:28:32.640 --> 00:28:35.283
was bringing Julie German on board to help us.

499
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:38.220
->So my understanding is

500
00:28:38.220 --> 00:28:40.950
the event happened on the third floor,

501
00:28:40.950 --> 00:28:43.590
and Madison's room was on the second floor.

502
00:28:43.590 --> 00:28:46.020
->Since it's so long after the incident,

503
00:28:46.020 --> 00:28:49.140
taking a picture of this dorm room has very little value.

504
00:28:49.140 --> 00:28:54.060
->I called Julie German, who was a former prosecutor.

505
00:28:54.060 --> 00:28:57.720
->She said that the perpetrator was her friend

506
00:28:57.720 --> 00:28:59.070
and they spent a lot of time together,

507
00:28:59.070 --> 00:29:02.820
even in his room, so she may have on her camera roll,

508
00:29:02.820 --> 00:29:04.740
pictures of his room.

509
00:29:04.740 --> 00:29:09.090
->I told Julie that I was working pro bono on this case

510
00:29:09.090 --> 00:29:12.870
and was hoping that she would join the fight with me

511
00:29:12.870 --> 00:29:13.703
and she agreed.

512
00:29:15.180 --> 00:29:18.480
->So I started out as a criminal prosecutor

513
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:21.840
and I spent, I think, a little over 12 years doing that job.

514
00:29:21.840 --> 00:29:24.870
And now I work as an independent consultant,

515
00:29:24.870 --> 00:29:27.240
training police officers, prosecutors

516
00:29:27.240 --> 00:29:30.300
who seek to improve the criminal justice system.

517
00:29:30.300 --> 00:29:31.800
You think I'm excited now,

518
00:29:31.800 --> 00:29:34.860
I get to talk about neurobiology of trauma.

519
00:29:34.860 --> 00:29:38.010
That's my other thing, and I get really excited about that.

520
00:29:38.010 --> 00:29:39.720
I teach the neurobiology of trauma,

521
00:29:39.720 --> 00:29:42.750
because if you do not understand that,

522
00:29:42.750 --> 00:29:46.680
you are going to attribute certain victim behavior

523
00:29:46.680 --> 00:29:50.790
as being inconsistent with being a real rape victim.

524
00:29:50.790 --> 00:29:53.703
And if you don't understand what's happening in her brain,

525
00:29:53.703 --> 00:29:57.480
then you use that as evidence against her.

526
00:29:57.480 --> 00:30:00.720
This is well-researched information

527
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:02.340
about what your brain does

528
00:30:02.340 --> 00:30:04.050
when you're in a traumatic situation.

529
00:30:04.050 --> 00:30:08.070
So we're gonna talk about kind of three areas of the brain.

530
00:30:08.070 --> 00:30:10.740
Trauma is defined as a fear

531
00:30:10.740 --> 00:30:14.430
with a perceived inability to escape.

532
00:30:14.430 --> 00:30:16.650
And so when that happens,

533
00:30:16.650 --> 00:30:19.890
our prefrontal cortex kind of goes offline.

534
00:30:19.890 --> 00:30:22.800
That complex thinking part of our brain

535
00:30:22.800 --> 00:30:25.800
and the limbic part of our brain, the more primal part,

536
00:30:25.800 --> 00:30:28.590
more instinctual part takes over.

537
00:30:28.590 --> 00:30:30.510
And the amygdala will pay attention

538
00:30:30.510 --> 00:30:33.930
to what it needs to to keep you alive.

539
00:30:33.930 --> 00:30:37.890
That's where our fight, flight, and freeze

540
00:30:37.890 --> 00:30:40.170
responses come from.

541
00:30:40.170 --> 00:30:45.130
In a trauma, that brain may choose to lay there and take it

542
00:30:46.020 --> 00:30:48.390
because they believe at the end of the day,

543
00:30:48.390 --> 00:30:51.030
that's what will keep this body

544
00:30:51.030 --> 00:30:53.580
that it's responsible for living.

545
00:30:53.580 --> 00:30:57.600
And everything that Madison describes, being scared,

546
00:30:57.600 --> 00:31:02.580
quiet, being frozen, the inability to speak is

547
00:31:02.580 --> 00:31:04.323
a typical victim response.

548
00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:13.000
->You're sitting on your sister.

549
00:31:14.040 --> 00:31:15.490
You gonna let her sit on you?

550
00:31:20.460 --> 00:31:23.160
Even though I know what happened wasn't my fault,

551
00:31:23.160 --> 00:31:26.673
it was very hard to not blame myself for it.

552
00:31:27.780 --> 00:31:30.360
I was like, "How could I put myself in that situation?

553
00:31:30.360 --> 00:31:31.500
How could I not fight back?

554
00:31:31.500 --> 00:31:34.110
How did I let this happen to myself?"

555
00:31:34.110 --> 00:31:36.030
Not knowing at that point that that's just

556
00:31:36.030 --> 00:31:38.580
what my brain was predisposed to do,

557
00:31:38.580 --> 00:31:40.830
'cause I didn't know that until I met Justin.

558
00:31:41.670 --> 00:31:43.530
He explained all of that neurological stuff

559
00:31:43.530 --> 00:31:46.557
and I was like, "Oh my gosh, it all makes sense now."

560
00:31:47.430 --> 00:31:48.780
I froze.

561
00:31:48.780 --> 00:31:52.230
I just froze and did what I had to do to make it out alive.

562
00:31:52.230 --> 00:31:54.060
And I, I mean, I had pepper spray

563
00:31:54.060 --> 00:31:56.760
that I carried on my case too, that were in arm's reach

564
00:31:56.760 --> 00:31:58.383
and I didn't even grab that.

565
00:31:59.280 --> 00:32:01.773
So mad at myself, but it wasn't my fault.

566
00:32:02.910 --> 00:32:05.823
And that's when I finally and fully forgave myself.

567
00:32:10.230 --> 00:32:14.340
->There's so much shame around sexual assaults.

568
00:32:14.340 --> 00:32:17.703
Victims typically feel reluctant to come forward.

569
00:32:18.600 --> 00:32:20.910
Partly because we don't believe women

570
00:32:20.910 --> 00:32:23.400
when they tell us what happens to them.

571
00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:25.953
And that has a long history in the law.

572
00:32:27.270 --> 00:32:32.270
The very first rape laws we owe to Sir Matthew Hale.

573
00:32:32.310 --> 00:32:35.100
He's known to have said that rape is a charge

574
00:32:35.100 --> 00:32:38.610
easily to be brought and hard to defend against,

575
00:32:38.610 --> 00:32:40.860
even though you're innocent.

576
00:32:40.860 --> 00:32:42.510
He developed this standard

577
00:32:42.510 --> 00:32:45.120
where you needed to have three things.

578
00:32:45.120 --> 00:32:47.970
A victim of good moral character,

579
00:32:47.970 --> 00:32:51.840
crime that could be corroborated by someone else,

580
00:32:51.840 --> 00:32:55.443
and the woman had to have resisted to her utmost.

581
00:32:56.490 --> 00:33:01.490
This thinking has lasted from the 1700s 'til now.

582
00:33:03.330 --> 00:33:06.284
And even after the Me Too movement started,

583
00:33:06.284 --> 00:33:10.683
statistically we continue to see the same number of rapes,

584
00:33:11.550 --> 00:33:15.180
prosecution rates and investigation rates remain low.

585
00:33:15.180 --> 00:33:16.650
We're not moving the needle,

586
00:33:16.650 --> 00:33:18.780
we're not changing anything, right?

587
00:33:18.780 --> 00:33:20.970
Even when we got women to come forward,

588
00:33:20.970 --> 00:33:24.090
which we used to think was the problem.

589
00:33:24.090 --> 00:33:27.093
We're not prosecuting these offenders.

590
00:33:33.090 --> 00:33:34.800
Greg>Okay, so let me kind of back up

591
00:33:34.800 --> 00:33:38.010
and give you a big picture of where we're at

592
00:33:38.010 --> 00:33:40.683
and what I know and what I can tell you today.

593
00:33:40.683 --> 00:33:44.100
->When the county attorney called us back into his office,

594
00:33:44.100 --> 00:33:46.530
I thought, "Well, my goodness, this is it.

595
00:33:46.530 --> 00:33:48.930
We have finally gotten through to him.

596
00:33:48.930 --> 00:33:51.627
He is finally going to file charges."

597
00:33:53.084 --> 00:33:56.730
Greg>(sighs) I have some concerns.

598
00:33:56.730 --> 00:34:00.390
I have doubts about whether or not we can get a conviction.

599
00:34:00.390 --> 00:34:04.440
And at the end of the day, the question will be,

600
00:34:04.440 --> 00:34:09.252
knowing what you know, what is it you want to see happen?

601
00:34:09.252 --> 00:34:10.085
You know what's-

602
00:34:10.085 --> 00:34:11.250
Mandy>You know the answer to that.

603
00:34:11.250 --> 00:34:13.260
Madison>I want him to go to jail.

604
00:34:13.260 --> 00:34:15.660
I want him to be punished for what he did to me.

605
00:34:16.830 --> 00:34:18.720
Greg>One of the things that I think will happen

606
00:34:18.720 --> 00:34:22.320
is if we file charges, I think it will be brutal on you,

607
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:24.240
in terms of testimony.

608
00:34:24.240 --> 00:34:26.670
And I do mean brutal.

609
00:34:26.670 --> 00:34:31.670
We could set up a mock hearing to give you a sample of that.

610
00:34:34.950 --> 00:34:37.533
I'll warn you, I'm going to try to beat you up.

611
00:34:38.430 --> 00:34:40.950
Because that's what a defense attorney's going to try to do.

612
00:34:40.950 --> 00:34:42.427
Madison>Okay.

613
00:34:42.427 --> 00:34:45.990
->"Cross exam will be brutal." He's scaring her.

614
00:34:45.990 --> 00:34:48.030
We have this long history of

615
00:34:48.030 --> 00:34:53.030
doing this sort of talking victims out of going forward

616
00:34:53.910 --> 00:34:56.790
by pretending like you're protecting them.

617
00:34:56.790 --> 00:34:59.287
It usually goes something like this.

618
00:34:59.287 --> 00:35:01.860
"Are you sure you wanna go forward with this?

619
00:35:01.860 --> 00:35:04.290
It's going to be very difficult.

620
00:35:04.290 --> 00:35:07.440
The trial, the cross-examination, you know,

621
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:10.590
they're gonna get to ask really hard questions.

622
00:35:10.590 --> 00:35:13.620
It's just gonna drag it out for months and years.

623
00:35:13.620 --> 00:35:15.480
Don't you think you'd just be better off

624
00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:18.030
healing and moving on?"

625
00:35:18.030 --> 00:35:21.060
So it sounds like I'm on your side,

626
00:35:21.060 --> 00:35:24.093
but in reality, what I'm being is unsupportive.

627
00:35:25.800 --> 00:35:29.130
->That was his way of trying to get her to back down.

628
00:35:29.130 --> 00:35:30.360
But we didn't have anything to lose.

629
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:33.000
We were gonna jump through his hoops.

630
00:35:33.000 --> 00:35:36.270
->And so I said, let me get done with my school,

631
00:35:36.270 --> 00:35:39.180
let me get to summer break and then we'll schedule that.

632
00:35:39.180 --> 00:35:41.460
->He never set up the interview for that mock trial

633
00:35:41.460 --> 00:35:42.293
like he said.

634
00:35:45.122 --> 00:35:49.980
After that meeting, there was a very lengthy period where

635
00:35:49.980 --> 00:35:51.153
we were just ignored.

636
00:35:55.470 --> 00:35:56.340
Madison>We would send texts,

637
00:35:56.340 --> 00:35:58.443
my mom would send emails, nothing.

638
00:36:00.568 --> 00:36:02.370
->We kept poking and kept calling

639
00:36:02.370 --> 00:36:04.900
and kept reminding him that we were waiting

640
00:36:05.760 --> 00:36:07.143
for him to do his job.

641
00:36:10.920 --> 00:36:13.890
And then a year and a half after the rape,

642
00:36:13.890 --> 00:36:17.160
in the fall of Maddie's junior year of college,

643
00:36:17.160 --> 00:36:21.310
we had a phone conversation with the county attorney

644
00:36:22.560 --> 00:36:26.650
and he told Madison that he had issued a warrant

645
00:36:27.660 --> 00:36:28.743
in her case,

646
00:36:30.060 --> 00:36:33.783
but the catch was that it was for aggravated battery.

647
00:36:37.140 --> 00:36:41.700
->So aggravated battery, it is a felony level offense,

648
00:36:41.700 --> 00:36:45.210
but in terms of comparing it to the sexual offenses

649
00:36:45.210 --> 00:36:47.430
that he could also have been charged with,

650
00:36:47.430 --> 00:36:49.650
it is much less serious.

651
00:36:49.650 --> 00:36:52.470
It's not unlike something you could be charged with

652
00:36:52.470 --> 00:36:53.583
in a bar fight.

653
00:36:54.690 --> 00:36:59.370
His jail term and or probation term are shorter.

654
00:36:59.370 --> 00:37:01.260
They won't encompass any kind

655
00:37:01.260 --> 00:37:03.960
of sexual offending behavior treatment.

656
00:37:03.960 --> 00:37:08.073
And no one is on notice that he's a sex offender.

657
00:37:09.270 --> 00:37:12.150
I would have charged aggravated battery,

658
00:37:12.150 --> 00:37:15.063
aggravated sodomy, and rape in this case.

659
00:37:18.840 --> 00:37:22.080
Greg>So right now he is charged with ag battery.

660
00:37:22.080 --> 00:37:24.420
You know, they've asked for a plea offer.

661
00:37:24.420 --> 00:37:26.786
Thoughts on plea offers?

662
00:37:26.786 --> 00:37:30.480
Madison>If we can't do anything with a sex charge,

663
00:37:30.480 --> 00:37:33.393
I need him to have to register as a violent person.

664
00:37:34.230 --> 00:37:35.730
Greg>We're charged with an ag bat,

665
00:37:35.730 --> 00:37:37.890
and that's not gonna change.

666
00:37:37.890 --> 00:37:40.950
I have talked to prosecutors across this state

667
00:37:40.950 --> 00:37:45.950
and almost uniformly, I was told, "Don't do it."

668
00:37:47.490 --> 00:37:49.290
->Well, of course they wouldn't do it.

669
00:37:49.290 --> 00:37:50.883
Nobody wants to take the risk.

670
00:37:51.750 --> 00:37:54.870
Prosecutors are elected officials.

671
00:37:54.870 --> 00:37:58.380
They're more worried about their win-loss record,

672
00:37:58.380 --> 00:38:00.570
so they can win the next election,

673
00:38:00.570 --> 00:38:02.733
than they are getting justice for victims.

674
00:38:05.880 --> 00:38:08.040
Greg>It all comes back to consent.

675
00:38:08.040 --> 00:38:12.930
And the requirement of affirmative withdrawal-

676
00:38:12.930 --> 00:38:14.850
Madison>Me taking my hands off of his throat

677
00:38:14.850 --> 00:38:16.087
is affirmative enough.

678
00:38:16.087 --> 00:38:17.834
Mandy>I need to see the case law

679
00:38:17.834 --> 00:38:18.667
that says you don't have to-

680
00:38:18.667 --> 00:38:19.636
Madison>I couldn't speak.

681
00:38:19.636 --> 00:38:22.140
Mandy>I need to see that, because I have-

682
00:38:22.140 --> 00:38:24.060
Madison>How can I say no if I can't breathe?

683
00:38:24.060 --> 00:38:25.710
I couldn't breathe.

684
00:38:25.710 --> 00:38:28.680
Greg>And if there's 12 people sitting in a box somewhere

685
00:38:28.680 --> 00:38:31.710
who hear that story, a reasonable person is gonna agree

686
00:38:31.710 --> 00:38:36.210
with you that, "Oh no, there's gotta be some consent saying,

687
00:38:36.210 --> 00:38:39.270
Oh, I withdraw. We don't want to do this anymore.

688
00:38:39.270 --> 00:38:42.090
Doesn't there also have to be a yes, please choke me

689
00:38:42.090 --> 00:38:43.540
and beat the shit out of me."

690
00:38:46.980 --> 00:38:49.203
I understand that the law's not perfect.

691
00:38:54.810 --> 00:38:57.750
->What's hard is there are about a million Greg

692
00:38:57.750 --> 00:38:59.253
Benefiels in this country.

693
00:39:00.210 --> 00:39:03.420
There are a million prosecutors saying things

694
00:39:03.420 --> 00:39:07.110
and making decisions like that every day.

695
00:39:07.110 --> 00:39:10.140
I mean, I wish this were a standalone case,

696
00:39:10.140 --> 00:39:13.650
but millions of women have been treated like that.

697
00:39:13.650 --> 00:39:16.140
Jason>We don't like it, but we're there.

698
00:39:16.140 --> 00:39:18.930
->There is very little transparency

699
00:39:18.930 --> 00:39:21.430
in the criminal justice system across the country.

700
00:39:22.350 --> 00:39:25.380
For so long, we've kept everyone at bay,

701
00:39:25.380 --> 00:39:27.540
the general public, crime victims.

702
00:39:27.540 --> 00:39:30.270
It's, we have this little inner sanctum

703
00:39:30.270 --> 00:39:32.550
in prosecution and people can't get in

704
00:39:32.550 --> 00:39:34.830
and they don't get to know what happens in there.

705
00:39:34.830 --> 00:39:37.320
There has to be more accountability

706
00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:38.940
within the criminal justice system.

707
00:39:38.940 --> 00:39:40.953
And for prosecutors, especially.

708
00:39:43.765 --> 00:39:48.765
(birds chirping)
(water rushing)

709
00:39:52.980 --> 00:39:55.350
->Whenever I'm out right on those rocks

710
00:39:55.350 --> 00:39:58.800
and I can only hear just the rushing water,

711
00:39:58.800 --> 00:40:01.623
that's the time when I'm at my most relaxed.

712
00:40:03.780 --> 00:40:07.350
I don't have a whole lot of belief

713
00:40:07.350 --> 00:40:10.890
in the whole zen and karma and, you know,

714
00:40:10.890 --> 00:40:13.743
seeking higher consciousness.

715
00:40:15.330 --> 00:40:19.083
But if I did, this would be it for me.

716
00:40:22.260 --> 00:40:26.283
I spent 23 years as a law enforcement officer.

717
00:40:28.309 --> 00:40:30.300
I loved that profession.

718
00:40:30.300 --> 00:40:33.060
I loved thinking I was gonna be able to help some people.

719
00:40:33.060 --> 00:40:36.150
And instead, I'm not sure

720
00:40:36.150 --> 00:40:39.150
on the backside of all the things I tried to do good,

721
00:40:39.150 --> 00:40:40.653
if it ever really mattered.

722
00:40:41.670 --> 00:40:42.603
It's devastating.

723
00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:49.320
I was a believer for decades,

724
00:40:49.320 --> 00:40:51.513
a believer that the system works,

725
00:40:52.500 --> 00:40:56.583
that unfortunate things happen and there's a remedy.

726
00:40:58.140 --> 00:40:59.043
I was wrong.

727
00:41:11.189 --> 00:41:14.106
(machine whirring)

728
00:41:18.570 --> 00:41:20.340
When I got into police work,

729
00:41:20.340 --> 00:41:23.077
one of my field training officers said,

730
00:41:23.077 --> 00:41:24.913
"You need to have a hobby.

731
00:41:24.913 --> 00:41:27.867
I don't care what it is, it's gonna keep you sane."

732
00:41:30.750 --> 00:41:33.960
This work is extremely overwhelming.

733
00:41:33.960 --> 00:41:38.960
There are so many survivors, so many victims

734
00:41:40.860 --> 00:41:45.033
that we have buried as a society.

735
00:41:46.710 --> 00:41:51.033
I didn't want that for Madison at all.

736
00:41:52.830 --> 00:41:56.700
I was racking my brain trying to find more legal options,

737
00:41:56.700 --> 00:42:01.700
something, anything that might gain some traction.

738
00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:06.450
And so when I found out about the grand jury law,

739
00:42:06.450 --> 00:42:09.243
I thought there's a lot of hoops to jump through,

740
00:42:10.451 --> 00:42:11.943
but this could actually work.

741
00:42:15.060 --> 00:42:17.377
->We were Zooming with Justin and Justin goes,

742
00:42:17.377 --> 00:42:20.490
"Does Kansas have a grand jury statute?"

743
00:42:20.490 --> 00:42:23.297
And we were Googling it and Googling it and Googling it,

744
00:42:23.297 --> 00:42:26.160
and my mom goes, "Oh, shit, I think we do.

745
00:42:26.160 --> 00:42:27.870
I think we have a grand jury."

746
00:42:27.870 --> 00:42:29.160
And she's like, "Wait, why are we excited?

747
00:42:29.160 --> 00:42:30.090
What does that mean?"

748
00:42:30.090 --> 00:42:32.250
->A grand jury is an investigative body.

749
00:42:32.250 --> 00:42:34.740
They will not decide guilt or innocence.

750
00:42:34.740 --> 00:42:38.580
They will only determine if there is sufficient evidence

751
00:42:38.580 --> 00:42:42.423
to believe that the person could have committed the crime.

752
00:42:48.360 --> 00:42:53.190
So this unique little law in Kansas allows a citizen

753
00:42:53.190 --> 00:42:55.140
to bring a grand jury petition,

754
00:42:55.140 --> 00:42:57.780
even when the prosecutor doesn't want it,

755
00:42:57.780 --> 00:43:00.030
or over their objection.

756
00:43:00.030 --> 00:43:02.160
->So we could use this to go over

757
00:43:02.160 --> 00:43:03.930
the county attorney's head.

758
00:43:03.930 --> 00:43:07.863
->This gives another avenue to obtain justice.

759
00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:11.250
->From the time we read that and re-read that

760
00:43:11.250 --> 00:43:14.973
and re-read that, we just kind of took it and ran with it.

761
00:43:18.270 --> 00:43:22.080
->We had to collect, I think 326 signatures

762
00:43:22.080 --> 00:43:24.270
to call up the grand jury.

763
00:43:24.270 --> 00:43:26.370
We were like, "That's not that many.

764
00:43:26.370 --> 00:43:28.237
We know that many people."

765
00:43:28.237 --> 00:43:29.760
->"I can do that in an afternoon."

766
00:43:29.760 --> 00:43:31.710
Oh, I could not do that in an afternoon.

767
00:43:31.710 --> 00:43:34.713
That's way more exhausting than anybody realizes.

768
00:43:35.610 --> 00:43:37.950
->We had sent out a bunch of social media,

769
00:43:37.950 --> 00:43:41.760
and we thought we'd come up with a tagline, BYOP.

770
00:43:41.760 --> 00:43:44.883
So bring your own pen, since this is a pandemic.

771
00:43:46.050 --> 00:43:47.850
->When Justin first brought up that we needed

772
00:43:47.850 --> 00:43:49.897
to get balloons and streamers, I was like,

773
00:43:49.897 --> 00:43:52.080
"What are you talking about?"

774
00:43:52.080 --> 00:43:55.863
It looked so tacky, but it got people's attention.

775
00:43:57.330 --> 00:44:01.350
->So each person that came up,

776
00:44:01.350 --> 00:44:03.350
we would have to tell Maddie's story to.

777
00:44:04.650 --> 00:44:07.230
It's so daunting and overwhelming

778
00:44:07.230 --> 00:44:10.530
watching your daughter talk about these horrible things

779
00:44:10.530 --> 00:44:14.580
that had happened to her over and over and over again

780
00:44:14.580 --> 00:44:17.730
to complete strangers.

781
00:44:17.730 --> 00:44:19.380
->I just kept reminding myself that

782
00:44:19.380 --> 00:44:22.290
it's gonna pay off in the end.

783
00:44:22.290 --> 00:44:24.600
Just one more signature today

784
00:44:24.600 --> 00:44:25.590
and then two more tomorrow,

785
00:44:25.590 --> 00:44:26.940
and then five more the next day,

786
00:44:26.940 --> 00:44:29.613
so we can file the petition and get the grand jury.

787
00:44:32.280 --> 00:44:33.850
->Mandy turned that in

788
00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:39.333
and after the judges reviewed it, it was declined.

789
00:44:46.709 --> 00:44:51.180
->We had all read that statute so many times

790
00:44:51.180 --> 00:44:55.528
and every one of us missed the one sentence where it says,

791
00:44:55.528 --> 00:44:58.680
you know, the person that gathers the signatures

792
00:44:58.680 --> 00:44:59.643
has to sign it.

793
00:45:01.170 --> 00:45:06.170
We had printed my name, but we totally missed

794
00:45:06.420 --> 00:45:07.593
that we had to sign it.

795
00:45:09.270 --> 00:45:12.900
->As you can imagine, this is a horrible thing.

796
00:45:12.900 --> 00:45:15.240
It takes the wind out of our sails

797
00:45:15.240 --> 00:45:19.048
and Madison, she's gonna have to go relive her story

798
00:45:19.048 --> 00:45:23.100
again and again and again and again and again.

799
00:45:23.100 --> 00:45:25.320
->I was definitely ready to just call it quits.

800
00:45:25.320 --> 00:45:28.350
Say, "You know what, we tried, but that was exhausting.

801
00:45:28.350 --> 00:45:30.417
I don't know if I could go around two,"

802
00:45:31.290 --> 00:45:34.200
but then I heard about other girls that

803
00:45:34.200 --> 00:45:36.930
the county attorney had treated the same way.

804
00:45:36.930 --> 00:45:39.587
Looked at my mom and I said, "I'm ready to do this again."

805
00:45:45.390 --> 00:45:49.593
And then a little while later, we heard from the judge.

806
00:45:51.354 --> 00:45:53.771
(soft music)

807
00:45:59.580 --> 00:46:00.990
We're all like doing happy dances,

808
00:46:00.990 --> 00:46:02.550
jumping up and down everywhere.

809
00:46:02.550 --> 00:46:04.920
But it was such a good feeling.

810
00:46:04.920 --> 00:46:07.620
I was definitely on a different kind of high that day.

811
00:46:12.180 --> 00:46:14.160
->I was in touch with a reporter

812
00:46:14.160 --> 00:46:17.280
that does stories for "The Washington Post,"

813
00:46:17.280 --> 00:46:19.837
and I kept peppering him with,

814
00:46:19.837 --> 00:46:21.600
"You really need to see this case.

815
00:46:21.600 --> 00:46:24.030
This is something that I've never seen before.

816
00:46:24.030 --> 00:46:27.810
And it has huge implications if it works."

817
00:46:27.810 --> 00:46:29.250
->A rape survivor in Kansas

818
00:46:29.250 --> 00:46:31.260
is taking the law into her hands,

819
00:46:31.260 --> 00:46:33.300
calling her own grand jury

820
00:46:33.300 --> 00:46:35.340
to hear her sexual assault case.

821
00:46:35.340 --> 00:46:37.230
Madison, thank you for being here.

822
00:46:37.230 --> 00:46:38.250
I wanna start off by giving-

823
00:46:38.250 --> 00:46:40.020
->I was like, "This is nuts.

824
00:46:40.020 --> 00:46:43.095
I'm on national news. Who does that?"

825
00:46:43.095 --> 00:46:45.693
Not a small girl from Kansas, that's for sure.

826
00:46:46.936 --> 00:46:49.519
(gentle music)

827
00:46:51.456 --> 00:46:53.760
->It was validating.

828
00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:56.510
It wasn't just us that thought what happened was wrong.

829
00:46:58.325 --> 00:47:03.325
(soft music)
(keys clicking)

830
00:47:05.550 --> 00:47:08.763
->It completely changed my whole perspective.

831
00:47:09.960 --> 00:47:13.253
They believed me, after just reading an article

832
00:47:13.253 --> 00:47:15.453
and that's everything I needed at that time.

833
00:47:23.700 --> 00:47:28.110
->Mr. Stolzenburg, has anyone made any promises to you

834
00:47:28.110 --> 00:47:29.661
to you to induce you

835
00:47:29.661 --> 00:47:32.010
to enter any particular plea here today?

836
00:47:32.010 --> 00:47:32.860
->No, Your Honor.

837
00:47:34.200 --> 00:47:36.060
->So then as to count one,

838
00:47:36.060 --> 00:47:39.990
aggravated battery, a severity level seven person felony,

839
00:47:39.990 --> 00:47:40.983
what is your plea?

840
00:47:42.243 --> 00:47:43.203
->Guilty.

841
00:47:45.690 --> 00:47:49.020
->When he was sentenced to 24 months probation,

842
00:47:49.020 --> 00:47:50.883
it was just a slap on the wrist.

843
00:47:51.810 --> 00:47:53.073
To me, that's nothing.

844
00:47:54.032 --> 00:47:56.010
And I was extremely worried

845
00:47:56.010 --> 00:48:00.060
that this would derail the entire grand jury process.

846
00:48:00.060 --> 00:48:02.622
->The court then will find that your claim

847
00:48:02.622 --> 00:48:07.050
was made voluntarily, freely, knowingly, and intelligently.

848
00:48:07.050 --> 00:48:09.570
->The concern with the citizens' grand jury

849
00:48:09.570 --> 00:48:13.560
is that from the eyes of non-legally trained jurors,

850
00:48:13.560 --> 00:48:17.070
they may see the perpetrator being young himself

851
00:48:17.070 --> 00:48:18.750
had been punished enough, right?

852
00:48:18.750 --> 00:48:20.340
He's gonna take a consequence

853
00:48:20.340 --> 00:48:23.220
for committing a strangulation.

854
00:48:23.220 --> 00:48:25.832
He doesn't really need this additional consequence

855
00:48:25.832 --> 00:48:28.653
of committing a sexual assault.

856
00:48:33.180 --> 00:48:36.180
What questions do you have about grand jury?

857
00:48:36.180 --> 00:48:37.290
->I don't even know where to begin.

858
00:48:37.290 --> 00:48:40.170
Like what are we supposed to expect

859
00:48:40.170 --> 00:48:42.000
when we walk into that room next one?

860
00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:43.472
->Or do we walk into that room?

861
00:48:43.472 --> 00:48:44.760
Mandy>Yeah, do we get to go in?

862
00:48:44.760 --> 00:48:47.283
->Okay, grand juries are secretive.

863
00:48:48.240 --> 00:48:50.280
Once the jury's seated,

864
00:48:50.280 --> 00:48:52.650
the court-appointed special prosecutor

865
00:48:52.650 --> 00:48:54.450
would start to present the case.

866
00:48:54.450 --> 00:48:57.630
And in the room at that time is the grand jury,

867
00:48:57.630 --> 00:49:00.120
a court reporter, and the prosecutor.

868
00:49:00.120 --> 00:49:02.430
And then the witness that you call, period.

869
00:49:02.430 --> 00:49:03.870
Nobody gets to watch it.

870
00:49:03.870 --> 00:49:05.400
In fact, in my courthouse,

871
00:49:05.400 --> 00:49:08.160
we had to tape paper over the windows of that courtroom

872
00:49:08.160 --> 00:49:09.570
while a grand jury was in session.

873
00:49:09.570 --> 00:49:11.160
Mandy>So we will really have no idea

874
00:49:11.160 --> 00:49:12.570
what's going on in there.

875
00:49:12.570 --> 00:49:13.403
->No.

876
00:49:14.520 --> 00:49:16.923
I can't promise anybody a win.

877
00:49:17.940 --> 00:49:19.449
I can't.

878
00:49:19.449 --> 00:49:21.360
->And we're not asking for one, and we're not demanding one.

879
00:49:21.360 --> 00:49:23.430
->The problem is we know that our society's

880
00:49:23.430 --> 00:49:26.910
just filled with myth and bias about sexual assault,

881
00:49:26.910 --> 00:49:30.060
which means our jurors have myth and bias.

882
00:49:30.060 --> 00:49:33.090
Juries don't seem to like it if victims are intoxicated,

883
00:49:33.090 --> 00:49:37.560
juries don't like it if it was a date rape situation.

884
00:49:37.560 --> 00:49:41.370
There is a perception of what a real rape victim is,

885
00:49:41.370 --> 00:49:46.110
and she is someone who is dressed appropriately,

886
00:49:46.110 --> 00:49:47.640
walking home from church,

887
00:49:47.640 --> 00:49:50.160
where she only had cookies and lemonade,

888
00:49:50.160 --> 00:49:52.950
attacked by a stranger out of the bushes,

889
00:49:52.950 --> 00:49:56.730
who is armed with a weapon, that she fights back,

890
00:49:56.730 --> 00:49:59.820
that she reports her assault immediately,

891
00:49:59.820 --> 00:50:03.420
that she stays on board with investigation and prosecution

892
00:50:03.420 --> 00:50:06.240
and, you know, cries one little tear while she testifies.

893
00:50:06.240 --> 00:50:10.410
And every degree that your case deviates

894
00:50:10.410 --> 00:50:12.300
from that real rape myth

895
00:50:12.300 --> 00:50:14.940
is something that, a hurdle you have to overcome

896
00:50:14.940 --> 00:50:16.490
with the jury if you wanna win.

897
00:50:17.910 --> 00:50:20.520
I don't say this to downplay your experience in any way,

898
00:50:20.520 --> 00:50:23.730
but so many victims have been treated like you were,

899
00:50:23.730 --> 00:50:26.460
so many across the country.

900
00:50:26.460 --> 00:50:27.570
Madison>It's awful.

901
00:50:27.570 --> 00:50:30.600
Julie>And most of 'em haven't had a second chance.

902
00:50:30.600 --> 00:50:33.480
So this is a very unique opportunity.

903
00:50:33.480 --> 00:50:34.503
->Absolutely.

904
00:50:36.013 --> 00:50:38.596
(gentle music)

905
00:50:43.110 --> 00:50:48.110
I was so nervous. I walked into this big conference room.

906
00:50:48.450 --> 00:50:50.843
They all had masks on and you couldn't read

907
00:50:50.843 --> 00:50:53.370
an expression in the room.

908
00:50:53.370 --> 00:50:54.663
That was pretty intense.

909
00:50:55.950 --> 00:50:59.430
And then Madison went in and testified,

910
00:50:59.430 --> 00:51:01.263
and I was so worried for her.

911
00:51:03.210 --> 00:51:05.040
->I felt like I was gonna throw up.

912
00:51:05.040 --> 00:51:06.960
My stomach was in knots.

913
00:51:06.960 --> 00:51:08.640
But it felt really good to sit up there

914
00:51:08.640 --> 00:51:10.560
and speak in front of people.

915
00:51:10.560 --> 00:51:12.450
It's like, I'm getting my day in court.

916
00:51:12.450 --> 00:51:14.050
This is what we've been wanting.

917
00:51:15.150 --> 00:51:17.910
To me, it was super important for the prosecutor

918
00:51:17.910 --> 00:51:20.730
to use the words, "Were you overcome by force or fear,"

919
00:51:20.730 --> 00:51:25.380
because that is when a consensual sexual act

920
00:51:25.380 --> 00:51:27.093
becomes non-consensual.

921
00:51:28.740 --> 00:51:31.380
To hear the prosecutor say, "We're gonna use these terms

922
00:51:31.380 --> 00:51:33.360
because they're in the statute."

923
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:36.843
That was, it was insanely important.

924
00:51:37.950 --> 00:51:39.573
I finally felt validated.

925
00:51:41.503 --> 00:51:43.200
It was like there were 10,000 pounds

926
00:51:43.200 --> 00:51:44.583
lifted off of my shoulders.

927
00:51:46.230 --> 00:51:49.147
->Asked her just direct, me and her,

928
00:51:49.147 --> 00:51:52.260
"Hey, did you get to say what you wanted to say?"

929
00:51:52.260 --> 00:51:56.580
And she told me yes. And she told me that she felt good.

930
00:51:56.580 --> 00:52:00.633
She did seem free.

931
00:52:14.790 --> 00:52:15.623
->Hello.

932
00:52:15.623 --> 00:52:19.383
Mandy>Hey. Look who's here. Hi, guys.

933
00:52:19.383 --> 00:52:20.820
Dad>Have you heard anything more

934
00:52:20.820 --> 00:52:22.710
about what's going on with this grand jury?

935
00:52:22.710 --> 00:52:24.240
Madison>Nope.

936
00:52:24.240 --> 00:52:25.290
->It's frustrating.

937
00:52:25.290 --> 00:52:27.600
It's at a new frustrating point.

938
00:52:27.600 --> 00:52:29.550
All of a sudden we're back to where we were.

939
00:52:29.550 --> 00:52:31.200
->Yeah, it's-
->We're waiting.

940
00:52:31.200 --> 00:52:32.220
->We've done all the hard work

941
00:52:32.220 --> 00:52:35.043
and now it's in 12 other people's hands.

942
00:52:36.780 --> 00:52:40.023
It's scary. Gives me a lot of anxiety.

943
00:52:46.952 --> 00:52:49.535
(gentle music)

944
00:52:56.088 --> 00:52:59.505
(gentle music continues)

945
00:53:05.807 --> 00:53:09.224
(gentle music continues)

946
00:53:12.581 --> 00:53:13.950
Just sat down, logged into the computer

947
00:53:13.950 --> 00:53:16.877
and I get this text from Mom that said, "Check your email."

948
00:53:26.221 --> 00:53:28.200
I just wanted to crawl into a hole

949
00:53:28.200 --> 00:53:29.823
and completely disappear.

950
00:53:31.920 --> 00:53:33.723
->I had to read it four times.

951
00:53:34.950 --> 00:53:36.960
I just was sick.

952
00:53:36.960 --> 00:53:40.890
->Heartbroke, just dismayed, just upset.

953
00:53:40.890 --> 00:53:44.860
->We fought for years and then (blows raspberry) nothing.

954
00:53:52.020 --> 00:53:55.717
->I wanna stand on the highest point and scream,

955
00:53:55.717 --> 00:53:58.227
"What in the fuck is wrong with you people?"

956
00:54:00.060 --> 00:54:02.553
Ugh. Breaks me.

957
00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:08.613
->This loss has certainly been one of the hardest I've ever,

958
00:54:10.500 --> 00:54:12.333
well, I've ever felt in my career.

959
00:54:13.170 --> 00:54:15.690
->It's almost kinda like you're going through

960
00:54:15.690 --> 00:54:17.520
these grief processes, right?

961
00:54:17.520 --> 00:54:20.580
You know, you're in disbelief, you're pissed,

962
00:54:20.580 --> 00:54:24.303
you're angry, you're accepting, you're pissed again.

963
00:54:25.469 --> 00:54:27.983
And I don't know that the pissed will ever go away.

964
00:54:30.480 --> 00:54:31.313
I don't know.

965
00:54:32.790 --> 00:54:34.090
->I don't know if it does.

966
00:54:38.190 --> 00:54:40.810
->What I wanna say to you is

967
00:54:41.730 --> 00:54:44.553
what you've accomplished so far is amazing.

968
00:54:45.990 --> 00:54:47.940
What you have done so far

969
00:54:47.940 --> 00:54:50.730
has already empowered other victims

970
00:54:50.730 --> 00:54:55.730
to stand up to the system and say, "Not this time," right?

971
00:54:56.520 --> 00:54:57.690
You're not doing this.

972
00:54:57.690 --> 00:54:59.250
I wasn't present, of course,

973
00:54:59.250 --> 00:55:01.830
when the jury deliberated, no one was.

974
00:55:01.830 --> 00:55:06.830
So we don't know for a fact what guided their decision.

975
00:55:07.080 --> 00:55:10.440
I do worry about myth and bias in this case,

976
00:55:10.440 --> 00:55:15.440
because of the issue of revoked consent in particular.

977
00:55:15.630 --> 00:55:20.130
I do worry about the idea that they might think a young man

978
00:55:20.130 --> 00:55:22.200
had been punished enough.

979
00:55:22.200 --> 00:55:26.310
And when non-legal people hear that a legally trained,

980
00:55:26.310 --> 00:55:30.330
elected official made a decision one way,

981
00:55:30.330 --> 00:55:34.683
they may not feel very empowered to contradict that.

982
00:55:35.670 --> 00:55:40.503
Hey, deep breath. Good self care. Today was rough.

983
00:55:41.916 --> 00:55:44.499
(gentle music)

984
00:55:49.727 --> 00:55:51.629
(dog barking)

985
00:55:51.629 --> 00:55:52.829
->Fish aren't dead yet either.

986
00:55:52.829 --> 00:55:53.662
->Huh?

987
00:55:53.662 --> 00:55:54.578
->The fish aren't dead yet either.

988
00:55:54.578 --> 00:55:56.029
->I know. Hi.

989
00:55:56.029 --> 00:55:56.862
->How are you?

990
00:55:56.862 --> 00:55:57.695
->Good, how are you?

991
00:55:57.695 --> 00:55:59.753
->Good. Good, good.

992
00:55:59.753 --> 00:56:00.586
->How are you?

993
00:56:00.586 --> 00:56:01.803
->Good.
->Good.

994
00:56:01.803 --> 00:56:03.930
->Oka, this just doesn't cut with a knife.

995
00:56:03.930 --> 00:56:06.640
->So I think we're just regrouping

996
00:56:07.800 --> 00:56:10.803
from our devastation last week.

997
00:56:12.450 --> 00:56:16.503
And trying to figure out, I don't know, next moves.

998
00:56:17.501 --> 00:56:19.860
And in the last couple days or so,

999
00:56:19.860 --> 00:56:22.500
some things have been starting to heat up again.

1000
00:56:22.500 --> 00:56:25.950
There might be some thoughts about appeals

1001
00:56:25.950 --> 00:56:29.673
and then when we do that, we'll ask for a new grand jury.

1002
00:56:31.500 --> 00:56:33.390
How do you guys feel?

1003
00:56:33.390 --> 00:56:38.070
->I feel like Madison as a person,

1004
00:56:38.070 --> 00:56:42.120
has been completely enveloped by fighting for justice

1005
00:56:42.120 --> 00:56:44.940
that Madison as a person outside of that

1006
00:56:44.940 --> 00:56:46.980
almost doesn't know who she is anymore.

1007
00:56:46.980 --> 00:56:48.830
And I need to find that person again.

1008
00:56:50.970 --> 00:56:54.840
From day one, we have said, "I want my day in court."

1009
00:56:54.840 --> 00:56:55.710
Jason>Just wanna be heard.

1010
00:56:55.710 --> 00:57:00.710
->I got it. We swung the bat as hard as we could.

1011
00:57:01.020 --> 00:57:02.109
Jason>Several times.

1012
00:57:02.109 --> 00:57:03.720
->More than enough times.

1013
00:57:03.720 --> 00:57:04.980
->Several ways, yeah.

1014
00:57:04.980 --> 00:57:07.580
And if that's where we're at, that's where we're at.

1015
00:57:08.550 --> 00:57:11.913
->At this point, I'm ready to move on to the next chapter.

1016
00:57:21.600 --> 00:57:22.433
->It's fine.

1017
00:57:25.410 --> 00:57:29.170
I was heartbroken, because she had fought so hard

1018
00:57:30.570 --> 00:57:34.230
and I felt like she was finally letting

1019
00:57:34.230 --> 00:57:36.393
the justice system shut her up.

1020
00:57:38.610 --> 00:57:41.610
->No matter what happens, through all the stuff,

1021
00:57:41.610 --> 00:57:45.120
it can't do anything to weaken the family.

1022
00:57:45.120 --> 00:57:46.650
->No, no.

1023
00:57:46.650 --> 00:57:48.000
Jason>It has to be allowed

1024
00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:49.710
that she gets to pull the plug.

1025
00:57:49.710 --> 00:57:52.650
->Absolutely. We've gotten to no.

1026
00:57:52.650 --> 00:57:56.010
->Right. And there's a victory in this no.

1027
00:57:56.010 --> 00:57:58.620
He didn't want to hear it. He didn't care.

1028
00:57:58.620 --> 00:57:59.550
And now-

1029
00:57:59.550 --> 00:58:01.130
->She said no, and we heard it.

1030
00:58:01.130 --> 00:58:05.400
->It matters again, you gotta show it. And that's the thing.

1031
00:58:05.400 --> 00:58:07.170
That's why there's victory here.

1032
00:58:07.170 --> 00:58:08.550
There's still still victory here.

1033
00:58:08.550 --> 00:58:13.200
->That's fucking powerful.
(Jason chuckling)

1034
00:58:13.200 --> 00:58:14.463
->You got us here, buddy.

1035
00:58:16.445 --> 00:58:19.028
(gentle music)

1036
00:58:25.932 --> 00:58:29.349
(gentle music continues)

1037
00:58:35.700 --> 00:58:38.580
->Caitlyn, you wanna watch this? This is how it's done.

1038
00:58:38.580 --> 00:58:40.680
Are you registered voters in McPherson County?

1039
00:58:40.680 --> 00:58:41.850
->Yes.

1040
00:58:41.850 --> 00:58:43.950
->I don't know if you've heard the news or seen the news.

1041
00:58:43.950 --> 00:58:44.850
->There's been a couple different...

1042
00:58:44.850 --> 00:58:47.850
This has become about the bigger picture to me,

1043
00:58:47.850 --> 00:58:51.986
since I saw firsthand the way that our justice system

1044
00:58:51.986 --> 00:58:55.770
dismisses victims of sexual assault.

1045
00:58:55.770 --> 00:58:57.030
Caitlyn and Lori.

1046
00:58:57.030 --> 00:58:59.040
->My brother was also raped

1047
00:58:59.040 --> 00:59:01.650
and the county attorney did not charge

1048
00:59:01.650 --> 00:59:03.120
the appropriate charges.

1049
00:59:03.120 --> 00:59:06.090
So we are seeking a grand jury as well.

1050
00:59:06.090 --> 00:59:09.960
->I'm exhausted from the last four years,

1051
00:59:09.960 --> 00:59:12.060
but I will keep the energy for this fight

1052
00:59:12.060 --> 00:59:14.610
as long as I have to if it makes a change

1053
00:59:14.610 --> 00:59:16.323
for victims in this country.

1054
00:59:20.520 --> 00:59:21.900
(Madison laughing)

1055
00:59:21.900 --> 00:59:23.636
Grant>There's some activity.

1056
00:59:23.636 --> 00:59:24.986
->(laughs) Look at them go.

1057
00:59:28.170 --> 00:59:31.470
Looking back on the person that I was four years ago,

1058
00:59:31.470 --> 00:59:33.180
if you would've told me then that I'd be here today,

1059
00:59:33.180 --> 00:59:35.553
I never would've believed anybody.

1060
00:59:36.510 --> 00:59:39.418
I didn't think I would graduate college.

1061
00:59:39.418 --> 00:59:41.010
Priest>And now Madison and Grant,

1062
00:59:41.010 --> 00:59:42.933
here we are celebrating your love.

1063
00:59:43.890 --> 00:59:46.340
->Definitely didn't think I was gonna be married.

1064
00:59:48.240 --> 00:59:52.233
I've been studying for my nursing school entry exam.

1065
00:59:53.310 --> 00:59:55.200
I've always known that I wanted to be a nurse.

1066
00:59:55.200 --> 00:59:56.433
I wanna help people.

1067
00:59:58.020 --> 01:00:00.000
One thing I definitely wanna specialize in

1068
01:00:00.000 --> 01:00:01.560
is becoming a SANE/SART nurse,

1069
01:00:01.560 --> 01:00:05.583
which is somebody who works with sexual assault victims.

1070
01:00:06.450 --> 01:00:08.760
I think if somebody else knew that I had been

1071
01:00:08.760 --> 01:00:11.220
through the same thing and that I am here for them

1072
01:00:11.220 --> 01:00:12.900
and I just want them to be okay,

1073
01:00:12.900 --> 01:00:14.400
I think that would help a lot.

1074
01:00:18.021 --> 01:00:20.938
(crowd chattering)

1075
01:00:27.179 --> 01:00:31.860
My dad was a cop for 23 years, so we knew that the system,

1076
01:00:31.860 --> 01:00:34.440
how it worked, but I personally didn't know

1077
01:00:34.440 --> 01:00:37.290
how broken it was, especially for victims

1078
01:00:37.290 --> 01:00:39.450
of sexual assault and rape.

1079
01:00:39.450 --> 01:00:43.650
This is more than just about me, it's about the next person

1080
01:00:43.650 --> 01:00:46.260
that's in my position and the next one after that,

1081
01:00:46.260 --> 01:00:49.380
and thousands of others that are in the same position.

1082
01:00:49.380 --> 01:00:50.213
It was terrible.

1083
01:00:50.213 --> 01:00:51.420
I was completely re-victimized

1084
01:00:51.420 --> 01:00:55.290
and it was almost worse than the actual rape itself.

1085
01:00:55.290 --> 01:00:57.510
So, the system needs to be better

1086
01:00:57.510 --> 01:00:59.853
and we need to make that happen.

1087
01:01:01.090 --> 01:01:04.257
(audience applauding)

1088
01:01:05.609 --> 01:01:08.192
(gentle music)

1089
01:01:15.760 --> 01:01:19.177
(gentle music continues)

1090
01:01:25.696 --> 01:01:29.113
(gentle music continues)

1091
01:01:35.580 --> 01:01:37.197
I haven't talked to you!

1092
01:01:37.197 --> 01:01:38.433
Tech>What, what happened?

1093
01:01:38.433 --> 01:01:41.190
->Greg Benefiel is resigning from his position

1094
01:01:41.190 --> 01:01:43.170
as the county attorney of McPherson County.

1095
01:01:43.170 --> 01:01:44.003
->Oh my God!

1096
01:01:50.061 --> 01:01:54.993
->I just got a call that I got into nursing school.

1097
01:01:57.990 --> 01:02:01.950
I'm about to go back into work, but I'm gonna be a nurse.

1098
01:02:01.950 --> 01:02:02.783
I can't wait.

1099
01:02:04.620 --> 01:02:07.353
Oh, this day felt like it would never happen,

1100
01:02:07.353 --> 01:02:10.723
but I'm gonna be a nurse. (laughs)

1101
01:02:12.920 --> 01:02:15.503
(gentle music)

1102
01:02:23.720 --> 01:02:27.137
(gentle music continues)

1103
01:02:33.840 --> 01:02:37.257
(gentle music continues)