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Well, it all started when my mother was not
taking care of this.

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My mother was doing drugs and they took us away.

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We got away when he was really young when I was
eight and me,

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Charles Tamika and Denise got took away.
All four of us first got took away.

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And Willie and Maureen was still with my mother.

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I remember getting in the car.

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I remember seeing my mother standing there
looking at his lead.

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We was in pairs at first but then they
separated us up,

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put us different places.

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They put me in 1/4 run away.
They put me in another four.

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So when I ran away, then they put me in another
force and then I went to the group home.

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My mother used to tell me every year I was
gonna go home but I never went home.

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You say you\'re gonna come home this year?
And I never went Until five years later.

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Not at home.

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Yeah,

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he\'s so cute.
I can\'t believe I had a baby.

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I\'ll be looking at him.
I was like, damn, I pushed him out.

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It\'s hard to believe he\'s so cute one time he
was asleep.

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He had his own, he was just shaking his arms
like this,

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I was cracking up.
He had his own like this.

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See, he can\'t be like that for a long time.
Watch.

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No, you don\'t wanna do it now.
He got it out there for a long time.

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He\'d be looking funny too.

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He looks so peaceful.

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He looked like his father.

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He don\'t even ask how his son doing, but I
don\'t care what he thinks because I wasn\'t

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having no baby for him anyway.
I wasn\'t having a baby for him.

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I\'ll have a baby for myself because I needed
something in my life that made me feel good.

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He\'s so cute

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after I got out of the group home and I was
discharged to my mother.

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After all in years, I waited, I thought at
least I would have a happy family.

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You know, we\'re gonna be together the way I
always wanted it to be and it wasn\'t,

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but it wasn\'t easy.
It\'s still not easy because it was a long time

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that we\'ve been away from my mother and we\'ve
been away from each other.

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It was like, I think about six years that we
was away from my mama and away from each other,

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we came home, everybody changed, everybody grew
up, everything was different.

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I\'m going, going back back and tell me I

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forgot to choose the coast.
I got to choose the east.

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I live out there, go there.

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I try not to think of.
Daniel is HIV. Positive.

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I look at my grandson and I see a beautiful
healthy baby boy.

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God wouldn\'t have brought Daniel this baby here
to us this far to make things go worse or

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downhill for him.
You understand?

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And I believe that in my heart and I believe in
God and I know God is gonna see that baby and

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see you through as long as you do what you have
to do and you take Daniel to go to get his

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medication and stuff like that.
I mean, love, I understand it\'s easy for me to

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say because I\'m not in your shoes, but I\'m
trying to keep your faith up so you can be

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positive so you can take care of your baby.

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I know, I know it makes you, it makes you very
angry, it makes you very angry because I get

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angry about a lot of things.
I feel like it\'s my fault why I should feel

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that way.
It\'s my fault.

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I can never be happy.
I swear. Never.

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Oh You gotta have problems.
You know how you figure that I ain\'t happy

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since I was a little kid.
I\'m still having problems.

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You was happy when you first came home with
Daniel.

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I know you got a lot of guilt and stuff that\'s
going through your mind.

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We just gotta do this together.

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You know, we got to have faith, you got to have
faith.

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It\'s not about faith or giving up.

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And I know faith is not gonna help you.
Faith is not gonna be there for you when I had

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my baby.
You know, it wasn\'t.

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Yes, it was.
That\'s why you\'re here.

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You\'re talking about it.
You have to have faith.

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When Charles died, I had no faith.
My brother died and they said he shot us up.

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I have no faith.
Faith wasn\'t there.

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If you HIV positive and you had a baby, then
you understand how I feel.

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I don\'t know how you feel love as far as your
experience.

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But if I didn\'t have faith and I didn\'t believe
I wouldn\'t,

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I wouldn\'t be here. Now.
I wouldn\'t have the strength that I have.

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Now.
I wouldn\'t have the faith to take y\'all back.

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Now.
I wouldn\'t have the faith to bury my son.

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When things get bad.
I want to run out here and say the hell with

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everything.
Just go take crack and just leave everything.

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I ain\'t got to deal with this.
It\'s so easy for me to do that.

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But I keep my faith and I say God, no, I\'m not
gonna do that.

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You know what I\'m saying?
I can\'t do that today.

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I got to keep my faith.

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Give him his medicine bully.

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Okay?

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My fist comes up.

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Mhm Open your mouth.

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Look at his face.
Wait, you gotta drink it.

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He ain\'t drinking yet.
I ain\'t dead.

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Watch this close.
How many times you gonna tell me that.

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Take your medicine.
B

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get down. Spread.

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Had a lot of kids.

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They had six Children, 4 girls and two boys.

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I figured the more I have, the more I be loved,
the more I can try to fill that empty space in

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my heart.
The loneliness of not having a mother and a

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father.
I want to be needed

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one of them to need me to love me.

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When I had my son, Charles God, I saw his
little face and his little hands and his little

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toes and all that hair he had and I couldn\'t
believe I helped create this another human

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being.
It was, it was such a beautiful thing.

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It was such a beautiful thing, But I was 16.
You know,

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it was crazy but I wanted it and I felt that I
needed it.

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I felt the more kids I have, the more they
would love me so tightly.

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But it always don\'t turn out that way. Grandma.
Finger, right?

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Grandma angel and sleepy. Grandma. Yes.
And miss I\'m

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tired. Nana.
Yes, grandma tired.

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You know what she\'s like?

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Neighboring?
Where is my

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yo you got to get all this stuff out of my room.

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This is my room.

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This one right here, right here, my TV.
And my speaking,

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that\'s my TV.
Mommy said that.

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Take all this Willie.
How are you going to give this heavy TV?

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That\'s my me.
So got it.

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Give me that to me.

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My equipment going right here.
I\'m closing these doors.

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No.
Yes, it was kind

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of hard cause I didn\'t know my kids.

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I had to get to know them all over again, which
is rough,

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But I\'m still in the process of no one because
I missed the whole big part of their childhood.

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I\'m still feeling guilty behind what I did to
destroy my family.

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Hopefully, please hold, please.

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We\'re in our new apartment.
May God bless us and we get closer because we

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haven\'t been close because we said we didn\'t
have no room.

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Now we got room, God.
Thank you Jesus for the blessings that he gave

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us for getting his apartment.
I want us to all get along better.

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I know we had, we went through a lot of trials
and tribulations through that other apartment.

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We gotta, we gotta stick together because we
got to do this as one whole family.

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All we got is each other.
You see the family\'s getting small but it\'s

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growing outward still because we got Donya.
Now we gotta look out for Him.

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God is the only one that can bless us.
We all go to church.

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The church is not that far.

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So by your heads, God, we\'re asking you to
bless us in this new apartment.

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May we grow in strength and immunity.
Lord God us,

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give us strength.
Lord, help everybody to get closer.

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Father and ask in jesus\' name. Amen. Amen.
Get out of my room,

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please.

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Yeah.

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The last thing that stupid nous period.

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He laughed before to it.

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All this corner, all the way in the corner.

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You got him.
Exactly in the middle.

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Yeah, let me get him right this time.

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It\'s gonna be a perfect picture.

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Hey, mama.

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Hey, I can\'t see

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just close.

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What\'s gonna happen?

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I want it. Right.
Right in my wall.

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I thought she had the mother instinct where she
would just fall into place with the

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responsibilities and stuff but she\'s not.
She\'s, she\'s slacking now.

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Love.
Are you giving up?

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Doctors are going to go get this letter?

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Give a the pepper.
Don\'t pee on me.

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Please give me a paper quick love.

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Oh, no, too late.
You gotta change it. Now.

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We got to change him shirt. Now.
Have peed on Indiana.

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Yes.
And did him pete on the shirt. Yes.

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Him, did him peed on him shirt. Grandma. Yes.
Him, he just eat sleep.

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He liked me the whole time.

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He knows it\'s me.
I can\'t really tell if he knows it\'s me yet,

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but my mother said he knows it\'s me.
So I don\'t know.

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See I\'m the new member of the family.

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Say I get all the attention.

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Okay?
I thought I was gonna have a hollering baby but

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if you don\'t ha it\'s just he wake me up in the
night to feed him a lot.

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Okay? Okay.
Grandma know him, him don\'t like putting on

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clothes, man.
I know him.

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I don\'t need a shirt.
My fool.

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Okay, baby.

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What is, unlike the book is when I finish
getting too short of that?

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Does it need to be brushed?
You got a sweater set and stuff?

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Nowhere?
Oh God.

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Yeah, we woke up grandma.

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I\'ve been depressed for a very long time. Okay.

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When I was at ST, at this group home, I just
feel like nobody don\'t give a damn.

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I just feel like like all I do now was scary.
I was alone.

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Nobody was there for me.

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I was scared I just used to be thinking about
how my mother was doing

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and I used to scratch my skin and I couldn\'t
sister, I still got that problem a little bit

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but I don\'t get like that like I used to
because I used to scratch it till it bleeds,

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bite my nails and biting into the bleed.

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And then one time they wanted to send me to
psychiatric place because I tried to burn my

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arm with a curl lion.

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I had to go to therapist every week, every week
and I used to curse God because I used to want

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to go home and I didn\'t go home.

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Yeah, that sun bothering the baby. Okay.
That\'s better.

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Yeah, grandma.
No, this way. Alright.

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Lugging him gotta carry myself.

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I can\'t reach him.
I\'ll carry him for nine months.

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No, 8.5, almost nine.

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But you carry them, got your papers, I\'ll

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leave my papers.
Well, I need to go with the results.

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I don\'t need no papers for that.

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She said on July when I go back I\'m gonna have
an appointment for him to have a special

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test to see if, um, when, after he shares my
immune system to see if he\'s really,

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really HIV, positive or not.
But since I\'ve been taking a medicine is a good

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chance that he\'ll be here.

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What does Cheryl reconvert, reconvert negative?
Yeah.

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Go from positive to negative right now.
He\'s still has love immune system and um is

18:13.980 --> 18:19.690
positive and he\'s gonna shed it and hopefully
by the grace of God he should shed it the next

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time he takes that special test.
We\'re hoping we\'ll just be praying that when he

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takes that test and we get the results back
that he\'ll be negative.

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My grandson hungry.

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Okay, grandma got them J J J J I\'m hungry.
Pumpkin,

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I\'m hungry too. Alright.
Alright I don\'t care about me.

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Come on, forget about me.
Now I have a baby.

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I\'m not a child.
That\'s not true.

18:54.430 --> 18:56.580
That\'s not true.
You\'re still my monkey.

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I never watched Eliza put his hat on.

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I told her I said you had a choice because you
didn\'t have to have this baby.

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Now you\'re a mother.
You can\'t think about yourself.

19:22.800 --> 19:25.650
You have a son and you have to think about this
baby.

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I know she loved people.
She didn\'t buy nothing this check.

19:34.030 --> 19:35.140
Maybe a couple of cans.

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Not if that baby needs.
Now, what am I supposed to do?

19:40.110 --> 19:46.100
I have $7 to my name and all she has to do is
get off her and take her baby to the doctor to

19:46.110 --> 19:49.770
get his wig.
He could have all this free milk.

19:49.780 --> 19:51.440
That milk is $3.29.

19:51.680 --> 19:54.420
I can\'t afford that.
You know what I\'m saying?

19:54.420 --> 19:57.790
I\'ll stay on her and stay on her and be like,
I\'m tired.

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Keeps up all night.
I said love.

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I went through all of that with you guys, but I
still took care of my responsibility.

20:04.860 --> 20:11.390
He\'s here now and you cannot send him back.
You can\'t send him back.

20:15.420 --> 20:20.200
The first time I saw my mother had to be about
four or 5.

20:21.670 --> 20:26.280
The second time I saw my mother, some friends
had brought her from the bar and she was pretty

20:26.280 --> 20:31.400
drunk.
And third time I see my mother, she was in the

20:31.400 --> 20:35.050
casket And I was like 11 years old.

20:38.600 --> 20:42.150
My mother abandoned me.
My brother and sister,

20:42.150 --> 20:47.230
Victor Victoria in a car and just left us.

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I was three and my sister and brother was too.

20:52.340 --> 20:55.110
Mhm.
We stayed with my grandmother and my

20:55.110 --> 20:59.130
grandmother and grandfather raised me, raised
me and my sister and brother,

21:00.780 --> 21:02.920
my grandmother didn\'t talk about my mother too
much.

21:04.350 --> 21:05.860
She didn\'t talk about my mother at all.

21:07.110 --> 21:08.110
Really?

21:44.800 --> 21:46.880
I come from a long line of alcoholics.

21:49.140 --> 21:53.350
They all drank themselves to death All in their
30s.

21:56.150 --> 21:57.510
My mother was 38.

21:59.630 --> 22:05.930
My oldest brother Joseph was 34, Victoria.
It\'s 31.

22:07.190 --> 22:14.100
My brother Victor, he was using drugs and dying
from AIDS Jesus went to prepare a place

22:14.100 --> 22:16.370
for many, many years ago.

22:17.810 --> 22:23.720
The Bible lets us know that where he went.
There\'s no more crime,

22:25.780 --> 22:30.990
there\'s no more pain, there\'s no more sorrow,
there\'s no more death.

22:31.960 --> 22:34.390
Victor doesn\'t have to be in pain anymore.

22:34.710 --> 22:38.190
Lord, we pray God that you would look on this
bereaved family.

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Lord give them strength, right?

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We prayed that they would.

22:45.390 --> 22:47.930
I want to be seen in the name of.

22:55.320 --> 22:59.850
Oh yeah.
Who did it? Danielle. Danielle.

22:59.860 --> 23:02.100
Who did it?
Who did it?

23:02.100 --> 23:06.100
Who did it to my uh huh.
Who did it?

23:06.110 --> 23:07.730
She did it?
She gonna beat you.

23:07.730 --> 23:10.990
We\'re gonna be okay when we finish.
We\'re gonna be the okay.

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Hey, hey, baby has been

23:19.070 --> 23:23.750
feeding well, yeah, you didn\'t have to bring
the baby to the emergency room for anything.

23:23.900 --> 23:27.350
No, no colds, coughs.
You\'re infections.

23:27.420 --> 23:31.090
Very good.
And what are you feeding the baby with?

23:31.890 --> 23:33.300
Similar?
How much it takes?

23:33.660 --> 23:36.120
Seven ounces?
Seven ounces.

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How often?
Four times, five times, four times,

23:40.950 --> 23:44.240
five times he takes okay.
What was the birth weight of the baby?

23:44.250 --> 23:48.890
£5.13 ounces?

23:49.270 --> 23:51.460
He looks big.
Now you are really feeding him.

23:51.800 --> 23:54.440
Yes, he\'s greedy.

23:55.770 --> 23:57.840
How old are you?
MS Harrison.

23:58.540 --> 24:04.160
I\'m 19 years old. Yes. Yes. Yes.
You can start talking very soon.

24:05.610 --> 24:07.150
Okay.
He\'s fine.

24:07.700 --> 24:09.330
He\'s fine daddy.

24:10.440 --> 24:16.590
She said your congratulations.
First test is negative it is negative

24:17.160 --> 24:21.560
when you are antibody positive baby gets it.
So that test is positive.

24:22.000 --> 24:28.350
This PCR is the special test that we do.
That is negative that tells us that there\'s no

24:28.350 --> 24:30.370
viral particles in his blood.
Now

24:38.190 --> 24:45.010
anyway, the

24:45.020 --> 24:46.330
test was negative.

24:46.550 --> 24:53.320
I got the results of everything HIV

24:53.320 --> 24:59.170
one PCR result is negative.
That\'s the main thing that you should be

24:59.170 --> 25:01.030
worried about.

25:02.550 --> 25:08.750
Grandma is so happy.
Yes, I\'m so happy for you.

25:08.760 --> 25:14.310
Yes, God is good, right?

25:14.870 --> 25:17.160
Say it.
Say God is good.

25:18.780 --> 25:19.890
God is good.

25:21.330 --> 25:27.870
Oh no, a lot of things God been doing for me
lately

25:28.260 --> 25:33.240
that I thought I was gonna get turned down on
but I guess he didn\'t let me down.

25:33.380 --> 25:37.330
I thought, I thought God didn\'t believe me.
I thought God just let me go because I tried to

25:37.330 --> 25:39.450
kill myself and he said if you try to kill
yourself, God,

25:39.460 --> 25:43.200
he don\'t, he don\'t answer your call no more but
he, yeah,

25:43.200 --> 25:46.810
he forgave me.
So he made my baby negative,

25:46.810 --> 25:48.540
right? Stinking.

25:48.820 --> 25:51.740
Right?
Boo boo. Yeah.

25:51.750 --> 25:58.660
Yeah, I gotta start thinking about my future
because the kids are

25:58.660 --> 26:04.270
doing their thing, you understand.
And um I\'m really seriously thinking about

26:04.270 --> 26:10.220
going home intending, you know, if not build up
my clerical skills that I already have because

26:10.220 --> 26:14.440
I really love office work.
I love dressing up in suits and heels and

26:14.440 --> 26:17.910
stockings and going in the office in the
morning, sitting behind it.

26:17.920 --> 26:19.620
I love that.
You know what I\'m saying?

26:19.620 --> 26:22.630
Working on the computers type. Right.
I\'m thinking about that.

26:22.640 --> 26:25.070
Those are my two choices.
You know what I\'m saying?

26:25.070 --> 26:29.380
If I don\'t, I got to go back to school, I got
to do something because time is fine.

26:29.390 --> 26:32.960
You know, and I have to think about my future.
You know what I\'m saying?

26:32.960 --> 26:36.040
When these kids get older Because I\'m still
young.

26:36.050 --> 26:38.420
You know what I\'m saying?
I\'m only going to 42,

26:38.430 --> 26:42.840
you know, thank God.
You know, and I\'ve pretty much been on public

26:42.840 --> 26:48.800
sisters, all my kids lives and I want to be
independent, you know,

26:48.810 --> 26:54.040
but every time I turned around something
happened, love got sick.

26:54.050 --> 26:56.510
Charles died.
What I\'m saying?

26:57.540 --> 27:03.190
My brother died, you know, but I can\'t just sit
around and dwell.

27:03.200 --> 27:07.470
I can\'t sit around and mope.
I don\'t know what to wear.

27:07.480 --> 27:14.230
I gotta teach you and I could win this or that
with a white.

27:15.300 --> 27:19.140
I was thinking more than that lot with a white
top.

27:22.560 --> 27:29.550
Listen, this, I think maybe this is the black
and white,

27:29.560 --> 27:31.120
a little more business like. Right.

27:31.540 --> 27:37.840
Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. Dust.

27:38.680 --> 27:42.780
That\'s, that\'s, that\'s, that\'s, that\'s how long
I ain\'t been to church,

27:42.780 --> 27:48.480
right?
No nervous about this interview.

27:48.490 --> 27:53.240
You would think this was a job that I\'m going
to but I\'m so nervous.

27:54.340 --> 27:59.290
Hope I don\'t stutter for all the fumble on my
words.

28:02.130 --> 28:06.860
I feel like screaming but I believe I\'m gonna
do fine.

28:21.350 --> 28:25.390
Did you, did you want to start? Okay.
Well, the first thing I noticed when your

28:25.390 --> 28:30.050
application is that you didn\'t check off Friday
as one of the days that you would be available.

28:30.650 --> 28:36.940
Is there a reason for that? Yes.
I go to therapy every Friday at Jamaica

28:36.940 --> 28:39.110
Hospital.
I see a therapist.

28:39.120 --> 28:43.850
What type of therapy is that?
What type of, um,

28:43.860 --> 28:45.770
for depression, for depression?

28:46.520 --> 28:48.130
Do you take any medication?

28:49.570 --> 28:55.730
What medication do you take?
I take, um, home and Paxil.

28:59.320 --> 29:01.750
What makes you think that you\'d like to be a
secretary?

29:02.670 --> 29:06.220
I love office work.
Anything that has to do with the office?

29:06.220 --> 29:10.900
I love dressing up, going to, you know, doing
that office thing.

29:10.900 --> 29:14.420
I mean, the filing just being around the people
ever since I was a child,

29:14.430 --> 29:20.990
it always amazed me, you know, I\'m, you know, I
don\'t, I can\'t see myself working in a factory.

29:20.990 --> 29:23.920
I can\'t see myself working in a grocery store,
you know,

29:23.920 --> 29:27.750
I mean, I can, but my, my heart set on office
work.

29:27.760 --> 29:30.470
I love office work.
I love getting dressed the heels,

29:30.480 --> 29:32.360
the whole scenario.
I love it.

29:32.370 --> 29:38.510
Associated with the begin program since 1991.
Okay.

29:38.580 --> 29:44.430
Now, what would you say is their goal for
people to be in program to help you get off

29:44.430 --> 29:49.000
public assistance?
What would you say is the reason that that

29:49.000 --> 29:52.760
hasn\'t happened yet?
Personal things have happened in my life,

29:53.310 --> 30:00.270
deep personal things that I had no control over
and I had

30:00.270 --> 30:01.960
to leave the program.

30:09.050 --> 30:12.270
So I\'m not asking you the details, but these
are unusual events,

30:12.270 --> 30:13.730
things aren\'t likely to happen again.

30:16.940 --> 30:21.120
You could say that you mentioned rehab.
So I\'ll ask you that one first.

30:21.450 --> 30:23.490
But what was the issue that you had?

30:27.810 --> 30:32.830
And I had a slight case of alcohol.
I had a not bad.

30:32.830 --> 30:36.390
But my, the main thing is crack cocaine.

30:36.900 --> 30:41.490
And were you ever convicted of any criminal
charge?

30:41.530 --> 30:48.520
Um I had a child, child neglect case, um, where
they felt

30:48.520 --> 30:50.740
that I was not taking care of my Children
properly.

30:50.830 --> 30:52.900
Was it true at the time?
Were you?

30:52.910 --> 30:55.250
Yes, I was, I didn\'t deny it.

31:25.200 --> 31:31.480
They say God watches over fools and babies and
God was watching my babies and I thank God for

31:31.480 --> 31:32.850
that.
He watched over them.

31:34.040 --> 31:40.520
Well, I was on my missions searching for that
devil, that crack.

31:43.090 --> 31:45.950
I didn\'t know how they managed.

31:46.450 --> 31:47.920
I don\'t know.

31:48.860 --> 31:55.560
My son Charles used to have a little job and my
baby used to hustle his heart

31:55.560 --> 32:00.600
out and he would come over and give me half his
money and he would hide the rest and I would

32:00.600 --> 32:05.930
tear up the room until I found the rest and
I\'ll go and buy more crack and they used to

32:05.930 --> 32:12.000
hurt his heart crack makes you heartless cold.

32:13.380 --> 32:16.500
You didn\'t care about anything or anyone or
anybody.

32:17.730 --> 32:20.610
As long as you have the drug, you have the drug,
you were satisfied.

32:21.550 --> 32:28.500
You didn\'t feel the repercussions or the pain
and stuff after you came off the head and

32:28.500 --> 32:31.110
then you say you never do it again, but then
you do it again.

32:33.430 --> 32:38.710
She didn\'t care when I was young, I had no
responsibilities.

32:38.710 --> 32:41.820
Things were so simple.
I can remember like it was yesterday.

32:41.830 --> 32:46.980
But now that I\'m all grown up, I have to do
things for myself without my mother\'s help.

32:46.990 --> 32:53.230
I realized now that I\'m getting older gigi

32:54.700 --> 32:56.710
things that my mother\'s help.

32:59.330 --> 33:04.080
It was hard then just did not come home for
like months and weeks.

33:06.530 --> 33:10.160
And then Charles had to take care of us.
We stopped going to school because I had to

33:10.160 --> 33:13.420
stay home with two D and Maureen and Wally and
Love

33:16.670 --> 33:23.500
Charles had to work to make sure we ate and
stuff that used to live in a

33:23.500 --> 33:30.450
shelter, just played watch TV

33:30.460 --> 33:35.490
and stuff like that.
We didn\'t open the door because we knew not to

33:35.490 --> 33:39.140
open the door for nobody because you also don\'t
open the door.

33:39.140 --> 33:40.310
We know not to open up the door.

33:45.910 --> 33:52.230
Getting back.
It was getting to the point where we wasn\'t

33:52.230 --> 33:58.020
having nothing and I was eating out the garbage.

34:00.000 --> 34:03.560
Tamika was eating out the garbage too.

34:05.330 --> 34:11.500
Johnny is, it was the day my mother wasn\'t home.

34:12.340 --> 34:13.850
Charles has sent us to school.

34:14.960 --> 34:18.200
We didn\'t eat anything and I was hungry.

34:22.080 --> 34:28.140
I was roaming around in the hallway, one of the
school teachers came and asked me what I was

34:28.140 --> 34:29.990
doing and I told him that I was really hungry.

34:32.220 --> 34:34.710
They was asking me if I had a home and I told
them no,

34:37.080 --> 34:40.130
I just told him I was really hungry.
My mother wasn\'t home and that she was doing

34:40.130 --> 34:44.790
drugs.
Nobody never asked me if my mother was doing

34:44.790 --> 34:50.210
drugs.
I just said it and I don\'t even know why.

35:08.560 --> 35:15.520
I just know they came and they were saying they
was gonna take us me and Charles was happy just

35:15.520 --> 35:16.770
to get out of there.

35:17.400 --> 35:21.330
You know, it\'s gonna be like it was just happy
to get away from there.

35:25.810 --> 35:27.190
And he took us in that car.

35:29.260 --> 35:32.980
He was screaming.
I ain\'t never seen nobody scream like that.

35:34.170 --> 35:40.810
She screamed the whole rod for the agency.
They took us to remember that

35:42.030 --> 35:45.950
they took us to the agency, then they split us
all up.

35:56.150 --> 35:57.150
Mhm.

36:39.880 --> 36:45.460
Is it one of those days sheriff is today one of
the days

36:53.350 --> 36:57.260
want something.
I wouldn\'t feel free to ask you

37:00.510 --> 37:03.160
God.
Well, sometimes

37:12.800 --> 37:14.480
Willie hasn\'t been going to school.

37:25.070 --> 37:26.330
He\'s been stealing.

37:33.950 --> 37:36.250
Willie will tell you in a minute.
I don\'t do nothing for him.

37:39.880 --> 37:41.940
He says I don\'t do nothing for him.

37:47.260 --> 37:49.670
Willie and love both feels that I owe them
something.

37:53.220 --> 37:54.600
I know that Charles did.

37:59.630 --> 38:01.270
Charles went to his grave hating me.

38:08.390 --> 38:12.470
I know times are hard right now and I don\'t
want to depend on my mother.

38:12.480 --> 38:14.630
You know what I\'m saying?
I want to keep asking over and over again

38:14.640 --> 38:17.180
constantly.
I asked my mother than wild about no milk.

38:17.770 --> 38:22.010
But we didn\'t have no food. Nothing.
We didn\'t have nothing in here and we don\'t yet

38:22.010 --> 38:23.080
have no medical pampers.

38:24.900 --> 38:27.800
But she said, she said I was wasting my money
on weed.

38:27.810 --> 38:29.270
I don\'t buy weed like that.

38:30.370 --> 38:34.420
Don\'t tell me I, but when I get my check most
weed out by,

38:34.430 --> 38:39.190
if, if I, sometimes I might spend like $40 on
weed and then I\'m tired of him.

38:39.190 --> 38:41.090
I never complain.
There ain\'t no food.

38:41.090 --> 38:43.650
We got, we got to do something about these
bills. Love.

38:44.440 --> 38:48.760
When she do that, I just want to curse her out.
And I already did ask Courtney,

38:48.760 --> 38:52.440
I cursed her out completely.
I told f you f you this because you know why

38:52.440 --> 38:55.790
she pissed me off.
I\'m tired of her telling me I don\'t care about

38:55.790 --> 38:59.250
nobody but myself and Courtney and this and
that.

38:59.260 --> 39:01.780
That\'s not even true at all.

39:02.470 --> 39:04.900
It wasn\'t for me.
We wouldn\'t be living in this apartment.

39:05.630 --> 39:07.050
They wouldn\'t be living here with me.

39:07.410 --> 39:11.590
None of them.
She\'s constantly telling people to feeling

39:11.590 --> 39:14.340
sorry for myself.
You don\'t know how I feel.

39:14.360 --> 39:16.310
My mother don\'t understand nothing.

39:19.940 --> 39:21.490
My family thinks that I\'m crazy.

39:22.310 --> 39:24.560
They think they are mentally messed up.

39:26.800 --> 39:30.780
And they said I\'m the black sheep and I\'m a
black sheep.

39:30.790 --> 39:33.460
Then let me say these reasons why I came to be
this way.

39:34.230 --> 39:38.010
So people don\'t think, oh, she\'s crazy and
disturbed for no reason.

39:40.420 --> 39:46.140
But when you leave a child like that in the
home, when parents just doing drugs,

39:46.440 --> 39:49.240
then of course something like that\'s gonna
happen and it happened.

39:49.880 --> 39:54.050
And now when I start talking about me being
sexually abused by my brother Charles,

39:54.100 --> 39:55.230
they tell me I\'m lying.

39:56.540 --> 39:58.570
Then I have to sit there and say to myself, am
I lying?

39:59.460 --> 40:02.640
Because I get confused because it happened so
many years ago.

40:05.560 --> 40:09.000
But it\'s not a lie.
It\'s not a dream I had because dreams I don\'t

40:09.000 --> 40:10.850
remember like how I remember memories.

40:14.020 --> 40:15.150
I never even talked about it.

40:16.000 --> 40:22.240
It just happened one day like a week before my
brother died and I was in a hospital when I

40:22.240 --> 40:23.270
told my mother about it.

40:23.720 --> 40:28.740
I didn\'t know my family would reject me like
that but they did.

40:37.970 --> 40:44.810
They took my baby.
I

40:44.820 --> 40:51.780
hope they can to everyone trudy and

40:51.780 --> 40:56.140
love got into an argument and love went off.

40:57.680 --> 41:03.790
Knives were stuck in the door, the holes in the
walls, the baby swing was destroyed.

41:05.780 --> 41:08.340
I was overwhelmed with anxiety.

41:09.330 --> 41:11.280
It just all of a sudden hit me.

41:12.880 --> 41:16.130
The kids are fighting, they\'re tearing up the
man apartment,

41:16.140 --> 41:18.450
love them.
I have no milk and stuff for the baby.

41:19.460 --> 41:22.360
The kids just started flowing and I couldn\'t
keep still.

41:25.440 --> 41:29.050
I went to my therapist and he called B C w

41:32.780 --> 41:33.920
they came with the cops.

41:35.640 --> 41:39.180
I\'m crying.
I\'m saying, oh my God, this is not the help I

41:39.180 --> 41:41.340
asked you for.
You said you was gonna help me.

41:41.350 --> 41:43.690
But this is not the help.
I\'m asking you for.

41:43.700 --> 41:47.280
Why are you doing this to me?
I said this is like a bad nightmare.

41:47.290 --> 41:49.590
I said I had my kids removed when they were
small.

41:49.600 --> 41:53.180
Now they\'re big.
I said I didn\'t ask for this type of help.

41:53.190 --> 41:56.760
She said, I\'m sorry, Mr Arnold.
But my supervisor feels that it\'s best that the

41:56.760 --> 42:00.520
kids be removed from the environment because
things are out of control.

42:02.200 --> 42:05.510
She was running behind.
Love telling love to get the baby ready and

42:05.510 --> 42:09.160
love said her baby ain\'t going nowhere.
Tooty crying and talking about she\'ll kill

42:09.160 --> 42:13.540
herself if she has to leave.
I went to the nursery was like that\'s the

42:13.540 --> 42:15.940
mother get out, get out screaming.

42:17.410 --> 42:20.070
I was like, what the hell she was like, I\'m
sorry, Miss,

42:20.070 --> 42:26.960
but we don\'t know if you abuse him but I

42:26.970 --> 42:32.750
wanted to smack the hell out of Miss Alexandra.
She\'s coming in and telling me let\'s go.

42:32.760 --> 42:36.030
Don you gotta go right now rushing me.

42:38.130 --> 42:43.830
I couldn\'t even I cried but I couldn\'t even
react like bug out because it was like a dream.

42:43.830 --> 42:45.120
I couldn\'t believe it was even happening.

43:05.530 --> 43:05.970
Mhm

43:37.830 --> 43:43.930
Yeah.
Mhm

43:51.590 --> 43:56.210
mhm mhm.

44:05.280 --> 44:10.140
Annette Gaddy was sitting here, Miss Alexandra
sitting where I\'m sitting.

44:10.150 --> 44:12.820
I was sitting where you\'re sitting.
She was asking my mother,

44:12.830 --> 44:16.560
why love ain\'t making no progress.
Why didn\'t she call Kim?

44:16.570 --> 44:20.560
Why didn\'t she go to the wit?
Am I gonna go see a psychiatrist?

44:20.570 --> 44:23.850
And I said for what?
They\'re not helping me?

44:26.220 --> 44:28.770
That\'s what I said.
I said, I\'m not gonna go.

44:28.780 --> 44:34.650
She said she don\'t know if it was her son.
She kissed ass and all this stupid stuff and

44:34.660 --> 44:38.760
everything.
And the caseworker was saying was she had my,

44:38.770 --> 44:42.700
I got your son and they had a hand in my face
like this.

44:42.710 --> 44:47.850
She was like, I don\'t care who baby if it was
my baby,

44:47.850 --> 44:50.420
this and my baby that she was talking to me
just like that.

44:50.430 --> 44:54.540
I had to move her hand on my face.
I\'ll pick the table up and slammed it and I

44:54.550 --> 44:57.760
threw the can opener.
You don\'t live in my shoes.

44:57.770 --> 45:00.980
How you gonna sit up there and tell me what I I
have to do,

45:00.980 --> 45:04.640
telling me I gotta kiss ass.
I don\'t think you need no therapist and all of

45:04.640 --> 45:07.670
that stuff.
You just need to get out of this environment

45:07.670 --> 45:10.330
that\'s negatively stuff.
You need positive stuff.

45:10.340 --> 45:13.910
Just the other day I was crying in here ready
to take my life.

45:13.920 --> 45:17.840
My son was here but I was in this house ready
to take my life.

45:17.850 --> 45:21.380
If my son is not here, who gonna stop me?

45:24.730 --> 45:26.170
He was ready for us to leave.

45:30.400 --> 45:31.590
He busting it down.

45:33.770 --> 45:35.250
There you go.

45:38.910 --> 45:42.470
Wait, wait, wait.

45:43.070 --> 45:49.700
No, no, you don\'t want that lucky.
Look, I wanted to be

45:49.700 --> 45:51.090
complete.
Let me see his face.

45:51.590 --> 45:55.930
Just let him put his tongue on him. Anything.

45:59.580 --> 46:01.030
Yeah.

46:03.790 --> 46:10.240
Look at me like you like it.

46:14.480 --> 46:16.010
Look at that man in your face.

46:16.520 --> 46:22.330
The B C W worker MS Alexander told love if she
does that apply what she\'s supposed to,

46:22.340 --> 46:25.430
they\'re gonna give kinship to Tameka.

46:25.960 --> 46:29.660
All I know is the baby won\'t go into foster
care.

46:29.660 --> 46:30.730
He\'ll be with family.

46:32.450 --> 46:33.760
And I thank God for that.

46:36.700 --> 46:39.850
Tameka said she would never stop loving from
coming to visit Dornier.

46:43.170 --> 46:48.150
She would never do that.

46:51.730 --> 46:58.290
My God.
You know what I can\'t. No. Yeah.

46:59.310 --> 47:03.700
You know who I am. Yeah.
That\'s my mommy.

47:06.810 --> 47:12.930
Okay.
I will cry and I know if I tell my baby over to

47:12.930 --> 47:17.310
my sister, it\'s gonna take me a while to get
him back and I do not want to go through water.

47:18.230 --> 47:22.610
I don\'t, I don\'t want to go through the whole
months and months and months going through that.

47:22.610 --> 47:23.910
And I can\'t see my baby.

47:29.670 --> 47:32.530
That\'s another thing.
I want nobody thinking I\'m trying to steal

47:32.530 --> 47:35.870
nobody\'s baby.
I\'ll say it\'s best that he told me in the 4th

47:35.870 --> 47:40.010
song and that\'s up to you to say that or did
you hear that?

47:40.610 --> 47:45.440
Like everybody\'s going to say that the only
thing I said is I\'m not sure because you see it

47:45.440 --> 47:48.570
different is this is my baby is gonna feel
funny even if he with you.

47:48.570 --> 47:52.330
I\'m not saying you want to neglect him abusing.
I didn\'t say I wasn\'t gonna give them to you or

47:52.330 --> 47:54.150
whatever.
I\'m just saying, I\'m gonna feel funny.

47:54.150 --> 47:56.400
Months and months going by, I\'m gonna be
missing that time.

47:56.400 --> 47:59.800
My baby, I\'m already missing time.
I don\'t want it to be really,

47:59.800 --> 48:02.410
really long.
You know, we just as much in the dark because

48:02.410 --> 48:03.750
they don\'t tell us nothing.

48:04.720 --> 48:08.440
We want to know when we\'re going home.
They got us in this house for all this time

48:08.440 --> 48:11.910
telling us for weeks.
Now we up here still in their house.

48:11.920 --> 48:15.780
Yeah, they\'re not telling us nothing either but
everybody saying what they gonna say.

48:15.790 --> 48:21.140
Oh, Daniel, my son was being taken care of what
I had and all.

48:21.140 --> 48:25.100
That\'s why they took him because of what people
were saying in the house that night saying I

48:25.100 --> 48:29.370
was throwing knives in front of my child and he
was in the presence telling me I\'d be breaking

48:29.370 --> 48:30.550
and throwing something, he\'d be there.

48:33.640 --> 48:39.240
And I was, I do not do that.
I know I\'ll be breaking but they do not.

48:41.900 --> 48:48.370
But every day he had, I know my downfall was
not putting my son and I know that

48:48.380 --> 48:53.160
but it wasn\'t, it wasn\'t the reason why they
took my son because he didn\'t have no food.

48:53.170 --> 48:56.290
I go to court and they have me in the child and
youth area.

48:56.300 --> 49:01.030
I have to be supervised when I come to see my
child, they just sit up there making it seem

49:01.030 --> 49:06.630
like I\'m harm to my son and it\'s not like that
they was gonna give you back your baby love but

49:06.630 --> 49:09.850
they see that you ain\'t making no kind of
efforts to get him back.

49:09.850 --> 49:16.730
I said I\'m sorry, I don\'t do stuff like that.
You just

49:16.740 --> 49:20.550
do it for this one just to get John back cause
when you\'re getting back then people don\'t

49:20.550 --> 49:27.060
gotta be, you have to, especially with this
system, you gotta kiss

49:27.060 --> 49:33.310
it.
This is just us telling us sisters that you

49:33.310 --> 49:35.640
gotta do what you gotta do to get your baby
back for us.

49:35.640 --> 49:39.800
If you got to kiss their butt, kiss it because
I don\'t want him to go through what we went

49:39.800 --> 49:42.160
through.
So it\'s best for him to stay in the.

49:43.160 --> 49:45.280
So he\'s gonna go through what we went through
for us.

49:45.290 --> 49:49.030
People neglected him beating on him when he
don\'t need all that.

49:49.040 --> 49:52.190
He needs to stay with us for something.
You\'re gonna be like,

49:52.200 --> 49:58.850
oh my God, they will not tell you I\'ll tell you
exactly what he ain\'t gonna sit here and lie

49:58.850 --> 50:01.380
and tell you to be happy watching.

50:01.930 --> 50:08.640
It\'s a big, it\'s a big step watching babies and
have to get up in the

50:08.640 --> 50:11.880
morning because last night he had us up to like
2 10,

50:11.890 --> 50:14.020
2 o\'clock in the morning.

50:15.100 --> 50:16.930
I\'m just gonna do what I have to do because

50:21.980 --> 50:28.370
you because you know I wasn\'t successful

50:28.370 --> 50:29.370
mommy

51:06.920 --> 51:12.170
after I got out of the group home, it was like
a new life starting over,

51:15.150 --> 51:16.290
but it wasn\'t a new life.

51:18.990 --> 51:25.590
And when I realized that all my hope and all my
faith and everything just left me and I gotta

51:25.590 --> 51:32.110
have nothing.
And I used to think of

51:32.120 --> 51:35.350
things, just tell my mother could pay attention
to me.

51:37.670 --> 51:44.530
Like sometimes I would lie or run away or try
to hurt myself just to get attention from

51:44.530 --> 51:51.490
her.
I felt like I lost myself when I came back

51:51.490 --> 51:56.090
home.
So I just decided to leave.

51:59.160 --> 52:04.400
I took my mother money and I left and I just
went to hell.

52:08.870 --> 52:13.970
It\'s not easy living on the street and it\'s not
somewhere a child is supposed to be and

52:14.790 --> 52:20.180
sometimes you have to do some things to survive.

52:28.290 --> 52:33.910
My mother was saying I was a whore because I
was stripping and I was doing things like that

52:33.910 --> 52:36.690
and she was telling people I was a hole in the
slut.

52:41.040 --> 52:45.190
One time I was really stressed out and I was
scared and I was tired and I told this guy his

52:45.190 --> 52:49.920
name was trending.
I was telling my ran away from home and I don\'t

52:49.920 --> 52:52.100
know what to do.
I don\'t have no place to stay.

52:54.150 --> 52:58.240
I ended up going home with him and he beat me
so bad.

52:58.250 --> 53:03.280
And I just said to myself, I must be crazy
putting myself through this trust living out on

53:03.280 --> 53:05.150
the street.
Like this when I could go home.

53:06.450 --> 53:09.320
But if I go home, I\'m just gonna be messed up
in the head again.

53:11.920 --> 53:13.790
One time I was going for three months straight.

53:14.110 --> 53:15.290
My mother didn\'t see me.

53:16.420 --> 53:17.710
I was so miserable.

53:18.210 --> 53:21.330
I called my mom and they was happy to hear from
me and I was happy that I was happy to hear

53:21.330 --> 53:24.780
from me.
And I was shocked like, you know, they missed

53:24.780 --> 53:26.040
me or whatever.

53:26.900 --> 53:31.760
I always felt like they thought I was the worst
one in the family because of the fact that I

53:31.760 --> 53:34.210
told that my mother was smoking crack.

53:37.060 --> 53:42.130
I went home, my mama said she was saying it was
because of me.

53:44.100 --> 53:47.580
I had a lot of guilt and I felt bad about a lot
of things.

53:49.050 --> 53:51.120
So I just went my separate way.

53:58.590 --> 54:05.420
Yeah, She came yesterday to pick up

54:05.420 --> 54:12.310
Willie was about 8:39 PM, came with the police
and another social worker and she was like,

54:12.350 --> 54:16.220
she was like, well, I\'m sorry to tell you, but
we gotta take down too,

54:16.230 --> 54:19.330
but he can\'t be in the home because Maureen is
a teenager.

54:19.340 --> 54:22.280
It\'s not stable for her to be up all night like
that with him.

54:24.010 --> 54:30.130
But she said, um to call Miss Gabby, she said
they got to put a rush on moving love or moving

54:30.130 --> 54:33.100
me.
Gotta call MS Alexander and find out where he

54:33.100 --> 54:39.640
at.
You see these people don\'t know him.

54:39.650 --> 54:43.430
He\'s, they used, he\'s used to us because we
know how to handle him.

54:43.440 --> 54:47.330
We know that he\'s cranky at night, we feed him.
He\'s not ready to go to bed.

54:47.340 --> 54:49.800
If he\'s sleeping, he\'s fighting and we go to
pat him,

54:49.810 --> 54:53.400
you know, pat him to sleep on his little.
But you know what I\'m saying?

54:53.410 --> 55:00.140
Or cradle him in our chest and rock him.
These people don\'t know how to do Daniel as far

55:00.140 --> 55:04.220
as Willie Go, he wanted to go, he asked to go.
But then,

55:04.220 --> 55:11.170
now I think about it, it\'s the best thing for
him because I\'d rather go there than God

55:11.170 --> 55:15.380
forbid the streets eat him up.
So he wind up in the grave with his brother

55:18.740 --> 55:22.820
and it\'s, the holiday is Thanksgiving.
Tomorrow\'s Thanksgiving.

55:29.830 --> 55:31.430
Hi, Miss Allison.
Just his love.

55:32.270 --> 55:37.150
I\'m fine. Mhm. Mhm.

55:39.440 --> 55:41.650
Mhm.
Uh huh.

55:47.720 --> 55:48.460
Mhm.

55:59.360 --> 56:04.480
Mhm. Mhm.

56:06.120 --> 56:07.430
Mhm.
So, where is he?

56:14.130 --> 56:20.400
Mhm.
Well, he\'s, he\'s, he\'s in a home now. Mhm.

56:22.390 --> 56:24.400
So, when do you think my soon visit will be?

56:25.260 --> 56:28.290
So, I can\'t, I can\'t call over there.
Nothing like that to speak to him.

56:32.180 --> 56:38.350
Mhm.
But I can still talk to him.

56:38.350 --> 56:40.360
You don\'t gotta talk, but I can talk to him.
Right.

56:50.420 --> 56:53.970
They said if I don\'t sign him over to my sister,
he\'s gonna go in the system and it\'s gonna take

56:53.970 --> 57:00.610
me even longer time to get, get him back.
But now she doesn\'t have him know they took him

57:00.610 --> 57:02.180
from.
Do you want her to have?

57:02.220 --> 57:06.470
Yeah, I want my sister to have him because I
don\'t want him to go in the system.

57:06.480 --> 57:11.020
That\'s why I\'m saying my sister because you can
see him more.

57:11.030 --> 57:13.840
Yeah.
Not, not only that because I don\'t know the

57:13.840 --> 57:17.610
people they might play somewhere and he knows
my sisters,

57:17.620 --> 57:19.330
he knows them.
That\'s his family.

57:19.330 --> 57:20.460
He don\'t know nobody else.

57:22.560 --> 57:27.740
This is the neglect petition that they filed
against you and this has all of their

57:27.740 --> 57:30.970
allegations.
Why they think that there is no black tear.

57:30.980 --> 57:33.950
Okay.
Part of what we\'re doing is you\'re giving me

57:33.950 --> 57:37.130
the information.
I\'m gonna tell you what I think I can and can\'t

57:37.130 --> 57:38.530
do for you.
Okay?

57:38.540 --> 57:42.990
But I\'m not gonna judge you like I really want
to help you.

57:43.000 --> 57:48.250
Okay?
So you know like what you tell me is not

57:48.250 --> 57:51.550
necessarily what I want you to tell the judge
or what I want you to tell them,

57:51.560 --> 57:54.600
but I do need to know everything.
Okay?

57:54.610 --> 58:01.480
So the first one is that you admitted to
attempting suicide twice.

58:02.900 --> 58:06.120
Have you read this?
Yeah, I read all of that.

58:06.310 --> 58:09.490
You didn\'t read that?
Nobody read this to, you know.

58:09.660 --> 58:14.010
Okay.
So you need to know what they\'re saying.

58:14.070 --> 58:19.020
Okay.
So this may be hard to listen to that old

58:19.020 --> 58:21.220
though.
That\'s attempting suicide.

58:21.220 --> 58:22.870
All that\'s old. Okay.

58:23.870 --> 58:28.540
So you had a conversation with Miss Alexandria
and I told her,

58:28.540 --> 58:34.920
yeah, when I first came home many times on
things happened and I tried to kill

58:34.920 --> 58:40.700
myself So when you first came home from where
foster care were in foster group home,

58:41.310 --> 58:44.660
what group home are you?
ST Agatha\'s?

58:46.910 --> 58:50.550
And how long were you in there?
6.5 years. Whoa.

58:50.550 --> 58:52.080
That\'s a long time.

58:53.810 --> 58:55.040
How was it there?

58:55.740 --> 59:02.310
How, so when you first came home you were
having a hard time adjusting.

59:02.320 --> 59:06.360
Yeah.
But I would never do anything to hurt my baby

59:06.370 --> 59:10.390
since I had my baby.
Ain\'t no reason for me to even say I\'m gonna

59:10.390 --> 59:12.420
kill myself.
I don\'t even say it no more.

59:12.430 --> 59:15.890
I don\'t feel that way because you feel like you
have someone to do.

59:15.890 --> 59:19.370
Yeah, my baby don.
Yeah, he makes me happy when I see his face,

59:19.370 --> 59:22.510
he\'s smiling and that\'s something good.

59:23.790 --> 59:28.220
Okay?
Then the next one is she punches the wall in

59:28.220 --> 59:30.230
the presence of her infant and other family.

59:31.250 --> 59:36.930
So you don\'t break out enrages and I break out
and I get mad and I get upset.

59:37.560 --> 59:39.740
Mhm Like normal people.

59:41.460 --> 59:45.750
Well, like what?
I\'ll get upset and I get angry.

59:47.610 --> 59:50.310
Okay?
What do you do when you get upset and angry?

59:50.540 --> 59:52.430
Do you throw things sometimes?

59:53.680 --> 01:00:00.300
Okay?
But I don\'t right in other people and I do not

01:00:00.300 --> 01:00:01.870
do it while my child is around.

01:00:02.450 --> 01:00:05.340
You\'re not saying that you didn\'t do it.
You\'re saying I did it.

01:00:05.350 --> 01:00:07.070
But Daniel wasn\'t around.

01:00:08.410 --> 01:00:12.700
I just want to make sure they understand and so
tell me what you did.

01:00:13.210 --> 01:00:17.570
She kept telling me she hope I die, my T cell
is gonna go down look like I\'m smoking crack.

01:00:18.950 --> 01:00:22.190
That\'s why I got AIDS. Yeah.
She was saying stuff like that to me that was

01:00:22.190 --> 01:00:24.940
hurting me like hell.
So I got mad.

01:00:24.950 --> 01:00:29.330
So I started throwing stuff when things stream
things happen.

01:00:29.340 --> 01:00:33.140
Then I don\'t have no choice.
You know, I have no choice sometimes and I get

01:00:33.140 --> 01:00:38.540
overwhelmed and I throw stuff sometimes why I
really act like that\'s because I have a

01:00:38.540 --> 01:00:41.800
sickness okay.
And for years I was in denial.

01:00:41.810 --> 01:00:45.410
Not years.
But, and for a long time I was in denial and

01:00:45.420 --> 01:00:49.340
nobody seemed like they understood how I felt,
you know what I mean?

01:00:49.350 --> 01:00:56.180
And nobody understands that I\'m hurting and the
only thing they do is feel like

01:00:56.190 --> 01:01:01.620
they just push me away and I can\'t take it.
So when they do that,

01:01:01.630 --> 01:01:05.830
I don\'t know what to do.
It seems like I get stressed more since I

01:01:05.830 --> 01:01:07.310
thought that I was sick.

01:01:08.450 --> 01:01:10.400
I don\'t know what to do sometimes.

01:01:11.110 --> 01:01:16.470
But when they make fun of me it hurt, it hurt
like hell because they feel me.

01:01:16.480 --> 01:01:23.370
So the only thing I can do is be react and get
upset and sometimes those

01:01:23.370 --> 01:01:24.800
stuff.

01:01:28.320 --> 01:01:35.190
All right.
Um

01:01:36.200 --> 01:01:38.180
Let\'s go back to the thing about Tamika.

01:01:39.270 --> 01:01:42.960
Do you trust her?
That she, she will give you that,

01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:45.930
that she\'ll help support you in getting him
back.

01:01:46.450 --> 01:01:50.570
Yeah.
Not really. No.

01:01:50.580 --> 01:01:54.710
See, my son has enhanced if he don\'t come back
to the house.

01:01:54.720 --> 01:01:59.430
If he if his hat don\'t come then the bell don\'t
meet and 480.

01:02:00.170 --> 01:02:03.880
Oh he gets for your mother gets 480 for him for
the rent.

01:02:05.820 --> 01:02:11.760
Mhm.
And if that don\'t come, then she gotta move out

01:02:16.140 --> 01:02:22.650
and that I talked to the lawyer today, the new
one that\'s gonna represent me and she said I

01:02:22.650 --> 01:02:24.550
might have a chance of getting Daniel back.

01:02:25.390 --> 01:02:28.590
I might have a fair, a fair hearing.
She said,

01:02:28.590 --> 01:02:34.420
but not if you go up there and you say that um
and you say that I don\'t,

01:02:34.430 --> 01:02:36.800
I don\'t, you don\'t, you don\'t if you think I
don\'t need,

01:02:36.810 --> 01:02:42.500
if you don\'t think that my child should be with
me, then there\'s no way um of me getting him

01:02:42.500 --> 01:02:44.760
back but she said she\'s gonna call you.

01:02:45.750 --> 01:02:48.790
Oh she can\'t.

01:02:57.410 --> 01:03:00.410
Mhm mhm

01:03:08.640 --> 01:03:13.290
So that means that once is out the house that
means that I gotta find another housing.

01:03:13.600 --> 01:03:14.810
That\'s what she said.

01:03:15.730 --> 01:03:17.230
Everybody gonna have to move.

01:03:20.050 --> 01:03:22.220
I\'m not trying to get upset no more cause I\'ve
been through a lot.

01:03:22.220 --> 01:03:26.140
I was in that that lady office crying and stuff.
So I\'m not gonna cry no more.

01:03:26.150 --> 01:03:30.160
They said Daniel, he with people and he don\'t
know but I can\'t re stress myself.

01:03:30.160 --> 01:03:32.440
And the only thing I could do is try to do
better now

01:03:37.300 --> 01:03:41.820
and I was asking, did she know the ladies
ladies nice and she\'s saying all this stuff?

01:03:41.820 --> 01:03:46.860
Yeah, but she put all them kids in with how I\'m
supposed to trust her knowing she took him out.

01:03:46.860 --> 01:03:53.180
Yeah, she know everything is all right, Miss
Alexandria, she don\'t know what the hell she

01:03:53.180 --> 01:03:56.670
talked about.
What Miss Daddy saying, Annette told me I can

01:03:56.670 --> 01:04:01.190
get rid enhancement.
Everybody looking out for you and try to help

01:04:01.190 --> 01:04:03.410
you get dark.
But fuck me.

01:04:04.560 --> 01:04:07.530
That\'s just how I\'m taking it. Mommy.
That\'s not even like that.

01:04:07.540 --> 01:04:10.650
How am I supposed to stay in this apartment now
that the baby is going?

01:04:10.660 --> 01:04:15.310
How if they find housing for love next week?
When she,

01:04:15.420 --> 01:04:18.900
where am I going?
Where going?

01:04:24.670 --> 01:04:26.630
Oh my God.
What did I do?

01:04:31.120 --> 01:04:34.140
She, she don\'t know nothing

01:04:42.470 --> 01:04:46.190
trying to help my kids to help myself and look
what I did

01:04:49.180 --> 01:04:52.860
call these people to help me and look what I
did.

01:04:53.010 --> 01:04:58.410
Look what happened. Yeah. Right. Right. Right.

01:04:58.870 --> 01:05:04.230
Yeah. Right. Yeah.
I sucked up everybody,

01:05:04.240 --> 01:05:10.240
everybody I love baby taken away.
I got my kids taken away now,

01:05:10.250 --> 01:05:14.040
get my apartment taken away from me.
God knows what\'s gonna happen

01:05:22.310 --> 01:05:25.980
in this house the way you\'re making a scene,
don\'t you feel like the situation got worse?

01:05:25.990 --> 01:05:28.990
Don\'t you feel like it\'s out of your hands?
Yeah.

01:05:29.000 --> 01:05:30.940
It\'s not because of you.
You should have been crying.

01:05:30.940 --> 01:05:37.450
It\'s not causing you for the longer and longer
is every time you wait,

01:05:37.460 --> 01:05:42.100
the longer we wait to make choices.
They got another one already before that and

01:05:42.100 --> 01:05:46.360
they making it and it\'s already done.
So by the time you decided what you gotta do,

01:05:46.370 --> 01:05:49.530
boom, just like now we\'re gonna do this.
They took the,

01:05:49.530 --> 01:05:50.780
I knew this was gonna happen.

01:05:51.510 --> 01:05:54.240
As I said, as soon as we get to an agreement,
watch something come up.

01:05:54.240 --> 01:05:59.990
Boom.
And then they take Daniel and Willie the,

01:06:24.500 --> 01:06:31.450
I don\'t know.
I don\'t know what that is. Yeah.

01:06:33.390 --> 01:06:33.900
For,

01:06:50.660 --> 01:06:50.920
yeah.

01:06:57.160 --> 01:06:58.160
Oh,

01:07:19.650 --> 01:07:21.100
is Mr Lopez here?

01:07:21.790 --> 01:07:23.620
No, he\'s not.
I don\'t know.

01:07:23.620 --> 01:07:29.130
I don\'t know.
You know, I, I\'m going to speak to him tomorrow.

01:07:30.420 --> 01:07:37.200
Yes, Mr

01:07:37.200 --> 01:07:41.490
Lopez.
He was here.

01:07:47.170 --> 01:07:48.790
I don\'t know

01:08:01.500 --> 01:08:07.880
for neglecting him.
I have no observation of that since the baby

01:08:07.880 --> 01:08:12.240
has been born.
Um, no bruises, no neglect.

01:08:12.250 --> 01:08:19.080
The only thing I have problems with were doing
was following up like to do the wig

01:08:19.180 --> 01:08:20.940
and budgeting her money good.

01:08:21.410 --> 01:08:28.230
But any other thing as far as being abusive to
him, I\'ve never seen her or being

01:08:28.230 --> 01:08:34.040
abusive to him, but there are allegations,
allegations that states that she goes on these

01:08:34.040 --> 01:08:35.770
sanctions.
She\'s a hothead.

01:08:35.770 --> 01:08:38.960
She really is.
If you look at the whole household,

01:08:38.970 --> 01:08:43.310
they all have issues, issues.
They all have,

01:08:43.320 --> 01:08:45.670
you know, to get high head and they yell and
they scream.

01:08:45.680 --> 01:08:50.340
So it\'s not only singling out love as the one
who\'s the one who\'s really,

01:08:50.620 --> 01:08:54.650
um you know, ripping and raging around the
house. Okay.

01:08:54.820 --> 01:08:58.280
Okay.
I had a conversation with the attorney for the

01:08:58.280 --> 01:09:02.920
city who basically indicated that she is
willing to work with you.

01:09:02.930 --> 01:09:07.670
That what she wants to see, the first most
important thing is that you\'re not in that

01:09:07.670 --> 01:09:10.400
house with everybody else.

01:09:11.590 --> 01:09:14.800
Why don\'t we, we, we talk about that a little
bit.

01:09:14.820 --> 01:09:18.560
Um And where we\'re at in terms of alternative
housing and I have to work through the

01:09:18.560 --> 01:09:22.650
enhancement part.
What if she\'s ineligible for rent enhancement?

01:09:22.660 --> 01:09:25.190
I mean, have you had any symptoms at all?

01:09:25.490 --> 01:09:29.120
If you\'re asymptomatic, you\'re not eligible for
rent enhancement.

01:09:29.150 --> 01:09:33.170
Now some people will get it and you can try to
get it,

01:09:33.180 --> 01:09:36.750
but you need to be prepared for the fact that
you may not get it.

01:09:36.850 --> 01:09:43.440
What we\'re asking for is for him to be returned
as soon as you have um appropriate housing.

01:09:43.450 --> 01:09:48.900
So the second thing is about, you know, there
is a psychiatric history here.

01:09:48.910 --> 01:09:53.150
You know, again, in the allegations are about
suicide.

01:09:53.160 --> 01:09:57.790
Can you imagine what they might think could
happen to endanger your child?

01:09:57.800 --> 01:10:02.930
Given that, that maybe you would become so
depressed that you wouldn\'t take care of him?

01:10:37.170 --> 01:10:43.250
I\'m making a collage because want me to do it
because

01:10:44.700 --> 01:10:48.780
she told me to cut out things that I wanted,
things that I want,

01:10:48.790 --> 01:10:52.910
things that are like things that I wanna
accomplish for the future.

01:10:54.890 --> 01:10:58.160
This is a town in Africa.

01:10:58.780 --> 01:11:01.870
This is a place where I would like to go Africa.

01:11:06.730 --> 01:11:13.280
This is a baby, a newborn baby, a newborn

01:11:13.280 --> 01:11:18.710
baby.
Always my picture rise because I don\'t have my

01:11:18.710 --> 01:11:21.500
baby and this is what I would like.
My baby.

01:11:22.500 --> 01:11:24.890
This baby looked comfortable in the home.

01:11:26.030 --> 01:11:29.340
That\'s how I want Daniel to be comfortable in a
nice house.

01:11:31.570 --> 01:11:32.910
This is a couple.

01:11:34.640 --> 01:11:37.430
They seem to have a understanding between them.

01:11:38.280 --> 01:11:42.250
They both young, like me and Courtney. Mm.

01:11:43.550 --> 01:11:45.890
And I cut this picture out because it\'s sad.

01:11:46.580 --> 01:11:48.190
And that\'s how I feel sometimes.

01:11:49.830 --> 01:11:50.930
But I want to be a writer.

01:11:51.230 --> 01:11:52.350
That\'s what I want to be a writer.

01:11:53.520 --> 01:11:56.670
I would like to write books.
Like she writes like Toni Morrison.

01:11:57.460 --> 01:12:03.670
I would love to write about my life, my family,

01:12:04.840 --> 01:12:08.590
it\'ll be about going from foster home to a
group home,

01:12:08.600 --> 01:12:11.610
from a group home back home, back in Brooklyn.

01:12:14.130 --> 01:12:20.910
All the problems I had, I was in

01:12:20.910 --> 01:12:24.990
about four or 5 different foster care homes
before I went to ST Agatha\'s.

01:12:28.450 --> 01:12:31.120
I went to this foster home in Long Allen.

01:12:31.830 --> 01:12:37.770
Her name was Sarah Todd Oil of foster homes
that I\'ve been to.

01:12:37.770 --> 01:12:39.010
She made me feel welcome.

01:12:41.420 --> 01:12:45.750
I liked her and she had about five kids and me,

01:12:48.590 --> 01:12:51.360
she sent me to church, used to sing and stuff.

01:12:53.360 --> 01:12:54.900
I\'ll stay with her for a year and a half.

01:12:56.050 --> 01:13:02.880
As long as I ever stayed with anybody it\'s
forced to care and she was real nice to

01:13:02.880 --> 01:13:09.830
buy me stuff.
Take me out and did

01:13:09.830 --> 01:13:11.050
not run away.

01:13:12.460 --> 01:13:16.750
Cops got me and they brought me back to her
house and she was mad with me and I was on

01:13:16.750 --> 01:13:20.990
punishment.
I started being good again and I was doing good

01:13:20.990 --> 01:13:24.430
at school and then I went and saw my mother and
I ran away again.

01:13:28.770 --> 01:13:30.920
After that, they sent me to ST Agatha\'s.

01:13:34.490 --> 01:13:38.860
I think that\'s the reason why she gave me up
because she couldn\'t take me running away.

01:13:40.990 --> 01:13:44.020
I\'d rather stay with her than go to the group
home.

01:13:44.900 --> 01:13:46.660
Even though I was being bad and stuff.

01:13:48.260 --> 01:13:48.960
I liked her.

01:14:04.860 --> 01:14:11.460
Hey, what\'s up?
Look at Mommy Dona

01:14:12.900 --> 01:14:18.300
dona high.

01:14:24.130 --> 01:14:29.030
Yeah, he act a little shy because he see look
you would go to mommy,

01:14:29.040 --> 01:14:31.310
don\'t you?
Your fat chubby?

01:14:31.310 --> 01:14:37.840
So everyone, what does he do anything different?

01:14:40.580 --> 01:14:45.380
He started dancing, standing up and playing
with toys,

01:14:46.540 --> 01:14:47.540
walking around.

01:14:53.290 --> 01:14:57.910
He\'s trying to say bye bye.

01:14:58.250 --> 01:15:00.660
Yeah, he\'s trying to say bye bye.

01:15:01.220 --> 01:15:02.470
Come on, say bye bye.

01:15:03.700 --> 01:15:06.220
Let me see how you say bye bye.

01:15:06.930 --> 01:15:11.890
Let me see.
That\'s bye bye.

01:15:17.430 --> 01:15:18.430
I do.

01:15:24.330 --> 01:15:30.190
Bye bye.
I don\'t think that\'s right when somebody just

01:15:30.190 --> 01:15:35.190
come and take you away like that, they just
take your world and change it all around and

01:15:35.190 --> 01:15:37.770
then they don\'t tell you nothing.

01:15:38.390 --> 01:15:41.680
Hey, what the hell they can\'t do anything.
They get the police with them.

01:15:42.510 --> 01:15:44.830
They come right in your house and take your
kids.

01:15:47.570 --> 01:15:52.130
Now my child did not have a scar on him.
He didn\'t have no nothing.

01:15:53.270 --> 01:15:55.430
They said he didn\'t have no winter clothes.

01:15:58.360 --> 01:16:01.830
I just felt that you could have did much better
than what you did with Daniel.

01:16:01.840 --> 01:16:04.930
But I don\'t think it\'s my fault that I had to
go this way.

01:16:04.940 --> 01:16:07.850
But there\'s been times left when he didn\'t have
no Pampers,

01:16:07.850 --> 01:16:11.200
no milk, but he got it.
So it\'s not like he was being neglected cause

01:16:11.200 --> 01:16:15.260
he got it.
I did not neglect Dornier that day.

01:16:15.270 --> 01:16:20.300
That baby had not had a drop of milk after he
had that first bottle early in the morning.

01:16:20.310 --> 01:16:26.350
All that day, Dornier did not have no milk and
he didn\'t have any pampers

01:16:26.950 --> 01:16:29.220
and love.
When you don\'t have milk and pampers,

01:16:29.220 --> 01:16:33.990
you come to me, come to you the last because
you\'re always telling me after this is the last

01:16:33.990 --> 01:16:35.820
time.
Don\'t ask me no more.

01:16:36.580 --> 01:16:39.420
I\'d rather go outside and stand outside.
Bad people.

01:16:39.420 --> 01:16:42.820
I\'m not gonna let Daniel be neglected.
So you saying I neglected?

01:16:43.010 --> 01:16:47.050
You told him that these people nothing.
That wasn\'t true.

01:16:47.060 --> 01:16:50.300
That\'s a lie when she came in here and she
asked you,

01:16:50.310 --> 01:16:52.300
what was the problem?
You started off with?

01:16:52.300 --> 01:16:54.650
Love.
You did not started with nobody else.

01:16:54.650 --> 01:17:01.230
You started off.
But before we move

01:17:01.240 --> 01:17:05.170
together, if you could not take my temper\'s,
you should have just told me this from the get

01:17:05.170 --> 01:17:06.550
go.
We would have never moved together.

01:17:06.560 --> 01:17:10.780
Could I tell you how I feel?
Could I tell you why I say to a degree?

01:17:10.780 --> 01:17:16.880
I felt it was neglect me, me, me because I\'ve
neglected

01:17:16.880 --> 01:17:19.590
job.
I neglected my own Children.

01:17:22.160 --> 01:17:26.620
I was running away from myself for 32 years.

01:17:28.380 --> 01:17:30.530
I hated my mother.
You understand?

01:17:30.530 --> 01:17:33.870
And I met that from the bottom of my heart that
I hated her.

01:17:33.880 --> 01:17:38.670
But then I realized that I didn\'t hate her as a
person.

01:17:38.680 --> 01:17:43.760
I hated what she did, what she did to herself.
I hated that she drank too much.

01:17:43.770 --> 01:17:48.770
I hated that she was selfish enough to leave me
that I could never feel a mother\'s warmth on

01:17:48.770 --> 01:17:53.950
mother\'s love or have my mother to talk girl to
girl like I do with my girls

01:17:55.580 --> 01:18:02.120
But love you ran away the second week that you
came home and you\'re out in the

01:18:02.120 --> 01:18:06.130
street, don\'t know whether you\'re living or
dead watching news,

01:18:06.140 --> 01:18:11.390
praying to God that they never say they found a
15 year old black girl in the Hudson River or

01:18:11.390 --> 01:18:13.710
chopped up body.
I don\'t understand what you\'re trying to tell

01:18:13.710 --> 01:18:18.710
me because everything you\'re saying, you feel I
felt, I felt like that was when I was in a

01:18:18.710 --> 01:18:20.670
group home.
When I don\'t know where you was at.

01:18:20.680 --> 01:18:24.780
When, when you was, I don\'t know, you don\'t
have to run.

01:18:24.790 --> 01:18:27.690
You didn\'t have to leave.
You didn\'t have to run.

01:18:27.700 --> 01:18:33.100
You didn\'t have to leave because I was there.
I was there and I was telling you,

01:18:38.260 --> 01:18:40.350
you don\'t trust me or believe me.

01:18:42.420 --> 01:18:46.160
That\'s the bottom line.
You don\'t believe me or you don\'t trust me.

01:18:46.190 --> 01:18:51.150
Mommy.
I told you I be hurting too.

01:18:51.200 --> 01:18:53.830
I don\'t know Mom.
What are you?

01:18:53.840 --> 01:18:55.430
What are you crying for?
I don\'t know.

01:18:55.430 --> 01:18:57.440
You don\'t be hurting, huh?

01:18:59.500 --> 01:19:00.650
You brought it out?

01:19:01.710 --> 01:19:03.470
I don\'t trust you.
Who else?

01:19:03.470 --> 01:19:07.470
I\'m gonna trust mom.
I don\'t know nobody else in this world when I

01:19:07.470 --> 01:19:09.650
ran away from the group and I tried to run away
to you,

01:19:09.660 --> 01:19:13.610
but I could not find you the first time they
took us,

01:19:13.610 --> 01:19:16.540
they brought us the Queens.
I tried to run away back to Jamaica Arms Hotel

01:19:16.600 --> 01:19:20.840
just to get back to you because I didn\'t even
know the people that was,

01:19:20.850 --> 01:19:25.760
that I was in a car with.
Ain\'t nobody else I trusted every time I ran

01:19:25.760 --> 01:19:28.150
away, I ran away to you.

01:19:28.700 --> 01:19:31.800
Every time I talk to my therapist or in group,
I talk about my mother.

01:19:32.810 --> 01:19:36.280
Everything is my mother asked me, how is your
mother doing?

01:19:36.280 --> 01:19:38.070
I said, I don\'t know.
She\'s going through a lot of stress.

01:19:39.490 --> 01:19:42.110
I\'ll be telling them, remember your face used
to be really,

01:19:42.110 --> 01:19:43.390
really pretty pretty.

01:19:44.200 --> 01:19:49.660
It had a glow but now your face is like your
face is like so sad.

01:19:49.670 --> 01:19:52.210
But I don\'t like seeing you like that.
I\'d be stressing out like that.

01:19:52.220 --> 01:19:55.000
I wish I could do something but I don\'t know
what to do.

01:19:55.760 --> 01:20:01.230
I wish I could, I could not, I cannot say, I
wish I could have big money and buy you a house

01:20:01.240 --> 01:20:04.820
and you could live happy, but I don\'t know what
to do.

01:20:08.210 --> 01:20:12.500
But I know you should not have to live like
that with all that pain.

01:20:14.440 --> 01:20:18.250
But I know, I know how you\'d be feeling
sometimes just by looking at your face I could

01:20:18.250 --> 01:20:25.170
see and a lot of times I don\'t like when you
look like that because it scares me and I\'ll be

01:20:25.170 --> 01:20:28.780
feeling like, I don\'t know, like I\'m gonna lose
you somehow.

01:20:36.340 --> 01:20:37.650
Are you crying ma?

01:21:25.150 --> 01:21:25.620
Yeah.

01:22:09.400 --> 01:22:15.710
Happy.
Give me my money. Yeah.

01:22:19.280 --> 01:22:24.320
My resolution is to get a job, finished high
school that you see.

01:22:24.320 --> 01:22:30.340
What else?
Give me a nice boyfriend with a

01:22:30.350 --> 01:22:36.110
job that goes to school and make sure I get
every somebody,

01:22:36.120 --> 01:22:39.630
every time a birthday come up and I know them
to get them something.

01:22:39.640 --> 01:22:44.610
That\'s another one and to stay closer to my
family next to Momo.

01:22:44.620 --> 01:22:51.470
My New Year\'s resolution to stop dissing people
so much and to not everything

01:22:51.470 --> 01:22:56.800
someone says to not take it to the heart all
the time and um

01:22:58.710 --> 01:23:04.810
to get a new boyfriend and stop thinking so
much about my old one and to lose

01:23:04.820 --> 01:23:10.350
weight and to get good grades and graduate.

01:23:11.140 --> 01:23:16.260
My first New Year\'s resolution is stop smoking
cigarettes, period.

01:23:17.770 --> 01:23:19.390
Stop smoking, period.

01:23:19.610 --> 01:23:23.490
My second one is procrastination.
You said to lady?

01:23:23.980 --> 01:23:30.820
One is to get my G E D And my fluff one is your

01:23:30.820 --> 01:23:32.970
last year resolution.

01:23:36.680 --> 01:23:41.770
Don\'t forget to take care of myself to take
care of my much better.

01:23:42.530 --> 01:23:45.070
One more.
Five of them one more.

01:23:45.080 --> 01:23:48.250
Um And go to church.
Try not to miss.

01:23:48.250 --> 01:23:51.510
No, no.
My resolution is to have my mother do her

01:23:51.520 --> 01:23:56.110
because she\'d be lying.
No state perpetrating Freud.

01:23:56.220 --> 01:24:02.820
And this is her three year resolution in a row
and neither one of them she has

01:24:02.820 --> 01:24:03.960
accomplished yet.

01:24:06.870 --> 01:24:12.600
Next up on the rooftops there, down on the
streets there in the windows.

01:24:12.600 --> 01:24:15.220
That\'s a part of our ABC crew out there.

01:24:16.570 --> 01:24:19.650
Wall to wall people in Times Square.

01:24:21.100 --> 01:24:22.730
It\'s mighty chilly here.

01:24:23.210 --> 01:24:24.560
Tap into your time.

01:24:28.770 --> 01:24:31.750
They made a motion for you to have a mental
health exam.

01:24:31.760 --> 01:24:35.850
I opposed it.
The judge granted it this judge like believes

01:24:35.860 --> 01:24:39.630
everything should come in as far as your mental
health.

01:24:39.640 --> 01:24:44.750
But before you do that interview, like we\'re
gonna have to really talk about how to,

01:24:45.310 --> 01:24:49.130
we\'re gonna have to prepare for it. Evaluation.

01:24:49.490 --> 01:24:56.360
I know that we need to just talk about how to
prepare for it in terms of this

01:24:56.360 --> 01:25:00.190
case.
Now we need that report from Dara and we need

01:25:00.550 --> 01:25:03.550
you to get the housing.
So you should really focus on that.

01:25:04.150 --> 01:25:08.370
This is like, where have you been?
Have you not been going to your appointments?

01:25:08.380 --> 01:25:14.480
My last two appointments before the court date.
I, I didn\'t go,

01:25:16.310 --> 01:25:22.790
I don\'t even know.
Do I have to tell you again how going makes the

01:25:22.790 --> 01:25:25.110
difference between whether he\'s gonna come home
or not?

01:25:28.320 --> 01:25:33.130
Like I said, it\'s gonna make or break
everything.

01:25:33.520 --> 01:25:34.760
So you have to do it.

01:25:35.790 --> 01:25:41.030
I mean, do you not like it, it\'s not, it\'s not
that I don\'t like it.

01:25:41.030 --> 01:25:44.710
It\'s just, do you feel like it\'s not, it
doesn\'t help him?

01:25:45.650 --> 01:25:49.810
I just don\'t feel comfortable because she wants
me to come in and start talking about from when

01:25:49.810 --> 01:25:54.030
I was little because she feels that I\'m not
dealing with a lot of problems and,

01:25:55.110 --> 01:25:57.520
and it\'s, it could be if it\'s affecting me.

01:25:57.760 --> 01:26:03.990
So, but do you think she\'s right to a certain
degree?

01:26:04.070 --> 01:26:07.850
But certain things, you know, that bother me?
I just,

01:26:07.860 --> 01:26:09.450
I don\'t really like to talk about it.

01:26:19.230 --> 01:26:22.370
I know I noticed for myself that there\'s things
I wanna do.

01:26:22.370 --> 01:26:25.670
Right.
And when it\'s put to me to do it, I don\'t do it.

01:26:26.290 --> 01:26:32.500
I don\'t know why and I just don\'t do it.
Like, for a while I was going to the place and

01:26:32.500 --> 01:26:36.230
then I stopped going, you know, I\'ll go to my
friend and I stopped going.

01:26:36.240 --> 01:26:40.020
It\'s like a pattern for me.
I don\'t know why but it,

01:26:42.260 --> 01:26:43.260
oh,

01:26:55.170 --> 01:27:01.710
I\'m learning how to control myself little by
little because I know when I can say,

01:27:01.720 --> 01:27:05.190
I know I\'ve been sitting up there thinking damn,
when I get angry I don\'t,

01:27:05.200 --> 01:27:12.060
I can\'t think only time I think when I\'m calm
Right now 20 is at a

01:27:12.060 --> 01:27:17.660
point where he gets mad.
Everything just gets overwhelming for him.

01:27:19.100 --> 01:27:22.460
You see, the thing is he can\'t keep his
problems, affect his work.

01:27:22.470 --> 01:27:25.130
Just forget about the problem when you\'re
working let\'s go to work.

01:27:25.140 --> 01:27:27.410
I know you\'ll be stressed out.
But he, he don\'t do that.

01:27:27.420 --> 01:27:32.110
He lets problems affect him while he\'s working.
So, like,

01:27:32.190 --> 01:27:38.090
but he bought him a plant now, he bought him a
plant so you can calm him down because plants

01:27:38.090 --> 01:27:40.610
sometimes, you know, we need stress.

01:27:41.060 --> 01:27:43.640
He says stuff like that.
He said, we don\'t have enough plants.

01:27:43.650 --> 01:27:50.210
You know, things like that believes the stress
fish tank and stuff like that.

01:27:51.200 --> 01:27:54.560
He called the plan really?
Talking about the plan and his baby and I\'m

01:27:54.570 --> 01:27:55.390
jealous of the plant.

01:28:05.010 --> 01:28:06.610
Yeah.
You see the roots.

01:28:08.630 --> 01:28:12.420
Look at this like I told you they got rules all
up here.

01:28:13.840 --> 01:28:14.920
It\'s starting to bust out.

01:28:15.470 --> 01:28:16.490
You need a little bus.

01:28:17.980 --> 01:28:22.570
Mhm This one to this one needs to be little.

01:28:24.100 --> 01:28:31.010
It was bigger.
Not yet

01:28:40.060 --> 01:28:45.710
special.
Very special.

01:28:45.710 --> 01:28:50.730
Let me tell you where are you going?

01:28:53.340 --> 01:28:57.400
Where are you going?
Are you going?

01:29:03.830 --> 01:29:09.060
He\'s, he\'s been not that much time to get
attached to him a lot.

01:29:10.710 --> 01:29:15.740
He\'s so sweet sometimes he sleeps with me.

01:29:17.140 --> 01:29:21.130
Right. Right. Right.

01:29:21.480 --> 01:29:28.200
Oh Whoops. Nice.
How are you going? Nice. Nice.

01:29:29.140 --> 01:29:30.790
Nice.

01:29:36.990 --> 01:29:41.400
Mm oh my God.
I love the Kyra.

01:29:50.220 --> 01:29:51.320
I\'m doing it. Sloppy.

01:29:52.650 --> 01:29:59.150
Got it.
You can put b day once you, once you put

01:29:59.150 --> 01:30:05.460
birthday you gotta put down, you, you\'ll be
there and his birthday.

01:30:08.270 --> 01:30:14.360
Yeah.
Okay fact.

01:30:17.390 --> 01:30:21.360
Look at him.

01:30:21.830 --> 01:30:23.090
Who that?

01:30:25.590 --> 01:30:28.620
Hi fucking grandma.

01:30:29.210 --> 01:30:35.150
Tell me here.
Come here fat boy, grandma, baby.

01:30:35.170 --> 01:30:41.610
Hi, happy. Birthday.

01:30:41.620 --> 01:30:44.110
Happy birthday. Daniel.

01:30:47.650 --> 01:30:48.810
Hi.

01:30:51.390 --> 01:30:54.090
What?
Let me see your teacher.

01:30:54.530 --> 01:30:55.790
Yeah, he got five.

01:30:56.510 --> 01:30:59.850
What?
Got him one years old today. Mommy.

01:31:00.210 --> 01:31:03.670
I bought a water, I butter butter

01:31:07.940 --> 01:31:14.330
dona dona ha ha Graham.
I should see you Saturday too.

01:31:16.430 --> 01:31:22.750
All right, there\'s no complaint that maybe it\'s
fat and happy and jobs.

01:31:24.060 --> 01:31:25.510
Alright see you later.

01:31:26.580 --> 01:31:32.200
Bye right.

01:32:32.740 --> 01:32:35.720
All right ma I ain\'t seen you in awhile.

01:32:36.720 --> 01:32:37.740
It\'s your big head.

01:32:38.020 --> 01:32:38.700
Come here.

01:32:48.250 --> 01:32:53.890
Yeah, I fell asleep with chessman cookies stuck
to me but I gotta just wanted to go wash up.

01:32:53.920 --> 01:32:59.670
I had chest with cookies stuck to my butt. Mom.
I want to hear that.

01:33:00.060 --> 01:33:02.220
We go on my clothes jamming.

01:33:03.570 --> 01:33:07.850
Come on.
What are you telling me about that for that

01:33:07.860 --> 01:33:08.950
girly stuff.

01:33:12.290 --> 01:33:19.160
That is girly stuff. Okay.

01:33:20.320 --> 01:33:27.040
Uh maintaining my mom.
How are you

01:33:27.190 --> 01:33:29.860
Diane?
All right.

01:33:34.810 --> 01:33:36.230
Pants falling down.

01:33:38.040 --> 01:33:40.250
Why are you sending me to a place where his
troubled kids?

01:33:40.250 --> 01:33:41.670
I\'m trying to get in trouble.

01:33:43.030 --> 01:33:48.860
I mean it\'s a home but it\'s nice, you know,

01:33:49.910 --> 01:33:56.880
it helps helps kids get their way to meet your
ghetto, drawn with blood and hell no,

01:33:57.640 --> 01:33:58.820
it ain\'t with that.

01:33:59.580 --> 01:34:00.710
Nothing near that.

01:34:01.880 --> 01:34:08.680
Nothing like that because I\'ve seen a thing on
PBS and they were talking

01:34:08.680 --> 01:34:14.020
about the facility, you know the kids were
talking about how it helped them,

01:34:14.040 --> 01:34:17.600
you know to get off the streets, get their
lives together.

01:34:18.750 --> 01:34:19.920
Willie, I can\'t walk fast.

01:34:20.350 --> 01:34:22.810
Come on, sorry.
You know I\'m not a slow walker,

01:34:23.060 --> 01:34:24.730
you know, lazy.

01:34:25.250 --> 01:34:28.630
I can\'t, I\'m a basketball player.
You know, I don\'t like like walking slow.

01:34:28.640 --> 01:34:30.500
Oh, that curry smells good.

01:34:34.090 --> 01:34:35.570
Mr Slowest I can walk.

01:34:36.370 --> 01:34:39.600
You know that ma every time we went somewhere
it was always in the front.

01:34:39.610 --> 01:34:40.950
Me and Charles

01:34:47.630 --> 01:34:51.930
um you gotta go inside now so

01:34:55.080 --> 01:34:56.150
I\'ll talk to you later.

01:34:59.280 --> 01:35:00.710
You get a chance.
You got the number.

01:35:00.710 --> 01:35:02.800
You call me, you hear me?

01:35:03.560 --> 01:35:07.980
Mm hmm Love you.

01:35:34.800 --> 01:35:37.810
Ever since I found that I was moving you and
you don\'t even care.

01:35:37.820 --> 01:35:41.490
I come and I tell you, I didn\'t even tell you
none of my good news because I don\'t even think

01:35:41.490 --> 01:35:46.130
you care. Okay.
And I feel that you don\'t even treat me right.

01:35:46.140 --> 01:35:50.140
You treat me the worst out of everybody.
So now we both know how we feel.

01:35:52.610 --> 01:35:55.780
Ever since he came over here, you don\'t even
talk to me no more.

01:35:55.790 --> 01:35:57.800
You don\'t even tell me that.
You know what I love.

01:35:57.810 --> 01:36:03.440
I still got things I have to do to.
You forgot that because you\'re sitting here

01:36:03.440 --> 01:36:06.640
talking about I don\'t give you support.
That\'s not true.

01:36:06.760 --> 01:36:08.240
That\'s not true.

01:36:08.450 --> 01:36:14.120
And you know, it\'s not true when you, when you
give me support other people in the street show

01:36:14.120 --> 01:36:18.240
were concerned about me and my child and you do.
And that\'s sad because you\'re my mother.

01:36:19.280 --> 01:36:22.430
You know, you, you, you, you sit down and talk
to me,

01:36:22.430 --> 01:36:25.300
what other people do?
You have to know how you feel.

01:36:25.300 --> 01:36:28.010
If you don\'t tell me I was talking to you. Love.

01:36:28.410 --> 01:36:30.080
Not now.
Not no more.

01:36:30.090 --> 01:36:33.000
I\'m tired of love.
Do this, love, do that, love.

01:36:33.000 --> 01:36:35.070
You know what you gotta do because you can\'t
just say,

01:36:35.070 --> 01:36:38.610
well, you could have did this and you could
have did that when you in the family and your

01:36:38.610 --> 01:36:41.700
family is dysfunctional.
It\'s not as easy as you say,

01:36:41.700 --> 01:36:45.630
it\'s to go and go to school and do what you
gotta do and this and that and that.

01:36:45.640 --> 01:36:48.420
It\'s not easy.
Like you might see other people in the family

01:36:48.430 --> 01:36:53.560
who might have did it, but it\'s not easy for
this world.

01:36:53.560 --> 01:36:57.460
This world depends on self help.
First of all,

01:36:57.470 --> 01:36:58.950
that\'s what you got.

01:37:05.820 --> 01:37:09.100
I didn\'t make myself go through all these damn
problems in my life.

01:37:09.760 --> 01:37:15.830
I might end up being cautious when I was having
sex out there and I got sick but I problems for

01:37:15.830 --> 01:37:21.840
myself who made, who made love, who made it?
No, not me,

01:37:21.850 --> 01:37:23.880
not me.
It ain\'t my fault.

01:37:25.100 --> 01:37:29.820
Hard time living in life because of the
situation I was going through made the problem.

01:37:29.820 --> 01:37:31.360
Love you did.

01:37:42.320 --> 01:37:46.740
I\'m gonna say this one time and at this, the
last time I\'m ever say this out of my mouth.

01:37:46.740 --> 01:37:51.550
So help me God, I swear on my son.
It\'s the last time I tell you this,

01:37:51.560 --> 01:37:56.320
I cannot make up for the past.
So if you decide to hold the grudge,

01:37:56.320 --> 01:37:59.270
the rest of your life.
Then you go ahead.

01:37:59.280 --> 01:38:05.120
But you know what I\'m letting it go, I am
letting it go because I can\'t take back what

01:38:05.120 --> 01:38:10.270
happened to you because I had a drug problem
and I went to get help so I could get my kids

01:38:10.270 --> 01:38:16.080
back now if you back in my life just to make me
feel sorry just like your brother did then so

01:38:16.080 --> 01:38:17.690
be it.
You better move.

01:38:17.710 --> 01:38:24.000
We better not be together because it won\'t work.
But you got to stop blaming me for your

01:38:24.010 --> 01:38:29.060
life will blame you mommy.
You know what they might be phony to you but a

01:38:29.060 --> 01:38:30.270
lot of people blame you.

01:38:40.980 --> 01:38:41.980
Okay.

01:39:07.590 --> 01:39:09.250
He will. Okay.

01:39:10.130 --> 01:39:11.390
Are you guys gonna get married?

01:39:12.950 --> 01:39:17.090
Why not go?

01:39:20.440 --> 01:39:26.880
This is your furniture grab 6 45 spending wise

01:39:27.630 --> 01:39:34.230
essentials head for the baby things you need
for the bathroom you need for the kitchen.

01:39:34.230 --> 01:39:37.070
Okay.
The rent check was $800.

01:39:37.070 --> 01:39:41.070
That\'s how much rent is right after November
13th.

01:39:41.780 --> 01:39:45.880
Your budget is gonna drop your rent is gonna
drop to 4.80.

01:39:45.890 --> 01:39:48.520
Why?
Because the baby is not in your home yet.

01:39:48.530 --> 01:39:53.000
You will be responsible to pay the rest of the
rent.

01:39:53.780 --> 01:39:56.830
Once the babies in your home, you call me, you
come down here,

01:39:56.830 --> 01:40:01.290
you have to get a letter from A CS stating that
they released the baby into your custody.

01:40:01.640 --> 01:40:05.190
Okay.
So called A C S let them know you got the

01:40:05.190 --> 01:40:11.370
apartment and you want your baby salsa

01:40:12.400 --> 01:40:15.880
merengue.
I believe it.

01:40:16.270 --> 01:40:19.760
I don\'t know.
I\'m just saying stuff over excited.

01:40:19.960 --> 01:40:22.870
I\'m not excited, period.
I\'m just not excited.

01:40:22.890 --> 01:40:25.580
No, I\'m not excited.
I\'m feeling good.

01:40:25.860 --> 01:40:27.310
I\'m not excited.
I was excited.

01:40:27.310 --> 01:40:29.210
I would throw up right now.
I\'m so excited.

01:40:29.210 --> 01:40:32.250
My knees feel.
I\'m not excited.

01:40:32.460 --> 01:40:33.640
I\'m just overwhelmed.

01:40:34.450 --> 01:40:38.620
Joy and happiness.

01:40:40.440 --> 01:40:42.030
How long will you feel like this?

01:40:42.390 --> 01:40:47.490
Probably years now, about a year and a half
since Daniel was taken.

01:40:49.470 --> 01:40:53.450
Now it\'s time for us to do our thing and get
married.

01:40:54.930 --> 01:40:59.580
But we gotta wait till I\'m not getting married.

01:41:00.020 --> 01:41:04.920
Get Daniel back, go to school, go to work, get
a degree.

01:41:05.010 --> 01:41:06.330
I want to go to school too.

01:41:07.940 --> 01:41:14.250
I wanna be a lawyer.
Was the bell but they didn\'t work.

01:41:14.500 --> 01:41:17.480
They don\'t.
Hell no, they don\'t work because they\'re not

01:41:17.480 --> 01:41:22.100
even, they painted over and broken.

01:41:24.270 --> 01:41:25.530
Nice little garden.

01:41:28.210 --> 01:41:30.750
I like this or block the sun.
You could be sitting right here like this.

01:41:35.470 --> 01:41:40.010
Okay.
Bathroom, bathroom, check it out.

01:41:42.400 --> 01:41:49.330
Yeah. Okay.
Let me give you the

01:41:49.330 --> 01:41:53.760
keys.
I changed the lock on the door and this is the

01:41:53.770 --> 01:41:55.700
key for downstairs too.

01:41:56.450 --> 01:41:57.450
We are here.

01:41:59.170 --> 01:42:00.960
This is for the front door.

01:42:01.510 --> 01:42:03.870
This is for your entrance door. Okay.
Thank you.

01:42:03.880 --> 01:42:08.730
That\'s yours. Okay. Nice.

01:42:10.390 --> 01:42:15.450
Like it. Okay.

01:42:21.430 --> 01:42:25.100
Come here.
I\'m trying to figure out which room should be.

01:42:25.100 --> 01:42:31.580
Don\'t you think this should be the living room?
That should be done and that should be ours.

01:42:33.820 --> 01:42:36.690
Oh, yeah, I\'m happy now you have.

01:42:37.680 --> 01:42:43.280
That\'s the, that\'s the look I want because you
gotta go.

01:42:50.910 --> 01:42:51.290
What?

01:43:00.790 --> 01:43:06.620
Right?
My back\'s killing me.

01:43:06.630 --> 01:43:12.960
Come on, I gotta know open the door.
I ain\'t gonna park up here.

01:43:16.270 --> 01:43:22.970
Goodness Lily.
Here\'s your new home.

01:43:24.110 --> 01:43:31.000
I know you like, what are you

01:43:31.010 --> 01:43:32.010
doing?

01:43:38.980 --> 01:43:43.310
That\'s his house and the name of the lord and
of the son and the holy dose.

01:43:44.160 --> 01:43:47.460
Maybe you review all these spells that\'s in
this place.

01:43:47.950 --> 01:43:49.430
Let it go about its business.

01:43:50.230 --> 01:43:53.090
Rebuke the devil, the Lord from this house.

01:43:54.200 --> 01:43:57.880
Give me this the name of Jesus.

01:44:00.920 --> 01:44:01.920
That\'s not why

01:44:07.830 --> 01:44:13.600
in earth as it is in heaven, right?

01:44:19.810 --> 01:44:23.730
This is not into temptation but deliver us from
evil.

01:44:23.740 --> 01:44:29.580
For God is forever amen.

01:45:02.010 --> 01:45:03.810
two piece for 48.

01:45:08.470 --> 01:45:11.330
I\'d like to share my hips.
It\'s okay.

01:45:11.840 --> 01:45:16.740
You want to get this, you love this 3 48.

01:45:17.020 --> 01:45:18.690
He\'s so full of it.

01:45:43.900 --> 01:45:48.160
It took me a long time to get used to the fact
that I was having visited my mother and I had

01:45:48.160 --> 01:45:53.280
to go back.
We spent an hour or two together and that was

01:45:53.280 --> 01:45:59.510
it when it was almost a long time to leave.
I just have fits.

01:46:02.200 --> 01:46:06.900
One time I had kicked off the station wagon
door because I wanted to get out the car and I

01:46:06.900 --> 01:46:13.330
was yelling for my mother.
She walked away other times,

01:46:13.330 --> 01:46:18.270
I used to sit there and wait for my mother and
she never came and I used to cry and go back to

01:46:18.270 --> 01:46:23.850
the group home one time.
She had wrote me a letter.

01:46:26.180 --> 01:46:31.020
It said that she saw, read that she hasn\'t seen
me in eight months but she made a mistake and

01:46:31.020 --> 01:46:33.680
messed up and that she was doing drugs again.

01:46:37.920 --> 01:46:39.170
I hate when she does that.

01:46:46.050 --> 01:46:47.200
And she ain\'t even here.

01:47:04.660 --> 01:47:08.070
You want to hold on to go ahead.

01:47:10.660 --> 01:47:11.680
Yay.

01:47:12.410 --> 01:47:13.570
We\'re holding on together.

01:47:27.590 --> 01:47:30.110
No, I can\'t pick you up,

01:47:36.080 --> 01:47:38.220
get down.
We\'re gonna walk together

01:47:51.110 --> 01:47:57.310
anyway.
You get dizzy and get

01:47:57.310 --> 01:48:00.020
dizzy.
If I get Diddy

01:48:03.350 --> 01:48:06.470
even I\'m dizzy.
Look at him.

01:48:06.480 --> 01:48:10.980
He\'s falling, he\'s falling.
He did indeed.

01:48:10.980 --> 01:48:12.370
He, he did.

01:48:13.000 --> 01:48:14.000
Did he?

01:48:21.980 --> 01:48:25.200
You\'re really going okay.

01:48:45.980 --> 01:48:46.980
I don\'t know.

01:49:22.720 --> 01:49:28.280
That\'s true.
Ma because I\'ll miss you.

01:49:30.430 --> 01:49:31.690
You didn\'t come and see me.

01:49:32.400 --> 01:49:33.750
So I miss you.

01:49:36.270 --> 01:49:43.130
You don\'t uncle Mel, your MetroCard Metro card.

01:49:44.430 --> 01:49:50.170
You want one?
So when can you come over?

01:49:52.130 --> 01:49:53.760
When can you come over mommy?

01:49:56.370 --> 01:50:00.340
So I\'m gonna come over there then you gotta go
back and forth the court.

01:50:01.500 --> 01:50:06.010
Mm hmm oh

01:50:08.540 --> 01:50:11.710
oh He\'s so cute.
He\'s gorgeous.

01:50:11.990 --> 01:50:13.390
Oh He\'s chubby.

01:50:13.970 --> 01:50:18.020
This is when I was saying that\'s me right there
was saying he stuck his head through there.

01:50:18.030 --> 01:50:19.730
He\'s a happy baby.

01:50:20.130 --> 01:50:21.960
Whose feet?
Courtney?

01:50:22.070 --> 01:50:28.100
Yeah, he got wet.
He had a bull so cute.

01:50:28.660 --> 01:50:34.370
Um So the reason for today\'s meeting is that
you have an appointment next week with Dr

01:50:34.370 --> 01:50:37.870
Schneider, right?
And I know you already met with him and right

01:50:37.870 --> 01:50:44.570
now we\'re in a very positive um stage where
they are saying that they\'re gonna return Dona

01:50:44.570 --> 01:50:46.800
to you.
They just want to see the report.

01:50:46.810 --> 01:50:51.250
But what that means is that the report is gonna
carry very great weight.

01:50:51.720 --> 01:50:56.440
I mean, the things that have come up that have
to do with your psychiatric condition are the

01:50:56.440 --> 01:50:59.560
hospitalizations where you tried to kill
yourself.

01:50:59.570 --> 01:51:02.770
Right?
I mean, that has, that happened in a lot.

01:51:02.770 --> 01:51:06.300
Like, have you felt that way recently?
No, not really.

01:51:06.310 --> 01:51:09.680
I just feel depressed.
I cry a lot but it\'s just because I miss

01:51:09.680 --> 01:51:12.600
Dornier and I\'m sick of being in the situation.
I am.

01:51:12.650 --> 01:51:16.830
You\'re not motivated. Yeah.
And then not even that I\'m not even motivated.

01:51:16.830 --> 01:51:23.070
I just times I do make the effort to go and
then I still don\'t even go and then I sleep,

01:51:23.080 --> 01:51:25.930
sleep, cry for a while.
I was doing that.

01:51:25.950 --> 01:51:30.900
Did he talk to you about what you would do if
you felt like that?

01:51:30.900 --> 01:51:33.940
And Daniel was with, you know, he didn\'t have
that.

01:51:34.680 --> 01:51:37.040
Does he know about the hospitalizations?

01:51:37.740 --> 01:51:40.010
Yeah, I told him, I told him about that.

01:51:40.760 --> 01:51:43.780
He actually said that I was oppressed, but he
said from his understanding that I should be

01:51:43.780 --> 01:51:47.290
taking medication.
But I don\'t, I\'m not thinking like that no more.

01:51:47.420 --> 01:51:53.640
I\'m trying to think positive to us now because
it\'s to me now everything seems like it\'s

01:51:53.640 --> 01:51:57.690
coming together slowly but surely.
And hopefully I\'ll be getting back before this

01:51:57.690 --> 01:52:03.020
year.
Is out but I\'m, I\'m gonna try harder to work

01:52:03.020 --> 01:52:06.580
with my anger.
But I know there\'s no reason for me to,

01:52:06.590 --> 01:52:12.320
um, act the way I act because they keep telling
me I have to disengage myself from my family

01:52:12.530 --> 01:52:14.530
and stop looking for that love from my mother
that I\'m not,

01:52:14.530 --> 01:52:15.530
never gonna get

01:52:34.190 --> 01:52:35.600
Diane Arnold.

01:52:41.850 --> 01:52:45.140
This may be the only place you can walk into.

01:52:45.610 --> 01:52:49.750
Well, you will not be judged on anything you
cannot control.

01:52:50.650 --> 01:52:56.360
In other words, if you dropped out in the 5th
grade and you have no education,

01:52:56.370 --> 01:53:00.670
we don\'t care.
You\'ve been on public assistance eight years,

01:53:00.940 --> 01:53:02.150
we don\'t care.

01:53:03.320 --> 01:53:05.930
You\'ve been incarcerated and just got out
yesterday.

01:53:06.600 --> 01:53:10.750
We don\'t care.
You never had a job before.

01:53:11.070 --> 01:53:12.150
We don\'t care.

01:53:13.020 --> 01:53:17.920
Race, religion, background, sexual orientation.
We don\'t care.

01:53:17.930 --> 01:53:20.190
Everybody in here is equal.

01:53:21.170 --> 01:53:25.900
Over 80% of people who graduate this workshop
Go on to work.

01:53:25.910 --> 01:53:30.230
How does that number sound to you?
Does it doesn\'t sound good.

01:53:30.230 --> 01:53:31.470
I don\'t know.
Does\'t sound good.

01:53:31.480 --> 01:53:34.690
Over 80% of the people graduate this workshop
go on to work.

01:53:34.700 --> 01:53:38.320
Hello? Yeah.
Sounds a good one to me.

01:53:38.320 --> 01:53:41.980
To one little problem.

01:53:42.940 --> 01:53:49.100
I\'m not trying to sound pessimistic now, but
over 80% of the people who walk into this room

01:53:49.100 --> 01:53:55.950
the first day usually do not graduate. Mhm. Mhm.

01:53:56.990 --> 01:54:00.760
If you\'re not ready for a challenge, you don\'t
want to be looked at.

01:54:00.770 --> 01:54:06.480
You don\'t want us to take this mirror and put
it in front of your face and tell you what we

01:54:06.480 --> 01:54:12.040
see.
If you\'re not ready for that, we can refer you

01:54:12.040 --> 01:54:13.970
to another workshop.

01:54:16.440 --> 01:54:20.300
We got the report from the psychiatrist and I
want to talk to you about it,

01:54:22.000 --> 01:54:26.580
the report, you know, it has some positive
things in it and,

01:54:27.250 --> 01:54:30.550
you know, you were very honest with him, which
is good,

01:54:30.880 --> 01:54:37.350
but also a lot of what you said to him is, you
know, are things that he\'s concerned

01:54:37.350 --> 01:54:39.730
about.
Let me read this one part to you.

01:54:39.740 --> 01:54:44.830
It is my opinion, it would be necessary for
Miss Henson to re engage in therapy and

01:54:44.830 --> 01:54:49.050
demonstrate a capacity to attend therapy
consistently before the return of Dona can be

01:54:49.050 --> 01:54:52.970
recommended.
My view is based in part on the comment of her

01:54:52.970 --> 01:54:58.030
therapist, MS Williams who indicated that is
exactly when MS Hensen is feeling overwhelmed

01:54:58.040 --> 01:55:02.410
or when she feels that she has not done well,
that she tends to drop out of treatment for

01:55:02.410 --> 01:55:03.700
varying lengths of time.

01:55:04.830 --> 01:55:10.720
What he\'s saying is that for Daniel to be
returned, you need to prove that you can go to

01:55:10.720 --> 01:55:14.970
therapy consistently.
And one of the biggest problems is just that

01:55:14.970 --> 01:55:21.270
like I\'ve been saying that to you from day one
and Dara was gonna be like sort of our

01:55:21.270 --> 01:55:25.880
key, you know, she wrote a really great report.
But if the psychiatrist calls and she says,

01:55:25.880 --> 01:55:29.950
well, I haven\'t seen her in two months, you
know,

01:55:34.010 --> 01:55:40.470
I don\'t know.
No No, no, I know I wasn\'t going but

01:55:42.580 --> 01:55:44.520
I don\'t know what I\'m supposed.
I don\'t know.

01:55:47.410 --> 01:55:50.120
I mean, that\'s the main reason why they wanted
me to go to therapy.

01:55:50.120 --> 01:55:54.090
I went sometimes and I didn\'t go sometimes.
So, I don\'t know,

01:55:54.340 --> 01:55:56.930
there was a two month period that you didn\'t go
with Tara.

01:55:56.940 --> 01:55:59.820
Can you tell me why?
You didn\'t know I was doing other things.

01:56:01.650 --> 01:56:03.820
I was doing other things too.
I wasn\'t just,

01:56:04.710 --> 01:56:10.160
well, let\'s talk about the here and now.
Okay, you disclosed a lot of stuff to the

01:56:10.160 --> 01:56:14.010
psychiatrist.
I mean, it\'s not, it\'s not like there\'s a

01:56:14.010 --> 01:56:20.330
question you acknowledge to him that you have
problems with anger with the rage with

01:56:20.330 --> 01:56:22.880
depression.
It\'s all over the report.

01:56:22.890 --> 01:56:26.760
I threw something, I cut myself, I threw a
knife.

01:56:26.770 --> 01:56:31.330
I mean, that\'s not an environment that Children.
Well, my son was not around and I told him that

01:56:31.340 --> 01:56:35.970
too was not in the room, but that\'s just, I
mean, I mean,

01:56:35.970 --> 01:56:39.580
as far as it goes with, I\'m hurting my child, I
never will hurt Dawn yet.

01:56:39.590 --> 01:56:42.980
Hurting your child.
Doesn\'t mean that you\'re hitting them.

01:56:43.040 --> 01:56:49.360
Okay.
From day one, I\'ve said to you, we\'re not gonna

01:56:49.360 --> 01:56:52.400
get anywhere unless you\'re consistently in
therapy.

01:56:52.560 --> 01:56:55.000
I don\'t understand.
I don\'t understand.

01:56:55.010 --> 01:57:00.890
I don\'t, I tried to, I tried to and I don\'t,
because I go to therapy and I talked to the

01:57:00.890 --> 01:57:04.550
people and I keep talking to them about the
same old thing even when I was little,

01:57:04.550 --> 01:57:06.670
I talked to them about the simple thing I took
away from my mother.

01:57:06.680 --> 01:57:10.360
She was on drugs.
It\'s the same thing and I\'ve been talking about

01:57:10.360 --> 01:57:11.390
it for years now.

01:57:11.700 --> 01:57:15.520
I don\'t talk about nothing else.
That\'s not how you get rid of the past by

01:57:15.520 --> 01:57:16.880
talking about it constantly.

01:57:19.000 --> 01:57:22.720
Every professional that\'s met with you thinks
that you need therapy.

01:57:23.410 --> 01:57:27.290
Why?
Because I cry sometimes because you got a lot

01:57:27.290 --> 01:57:32.430
of stuff going on.
Look at my, look at why doesn\'t the fact of

01:57:32.430 --> 01:57:35.030
your life doesn\'t mean anything?
I mean,

01:57:35.030 --> 01:57:37.610
there\'s, of course, there\'s a reason why.
Of course,

01:57:37.610 --> 01:57:43.340
like, you know, it\'s horrible.
What, what happened to you?

01:57:43.350 --> 01:57:46.330
I\'m not talking about what happened to me.
You don\'t understand?

01:57:46.330 --> 01:57:49.240
You don\'t nobody understand.
So, what are you saying?

01:57:51.350 --> 01:57:55.900
Well, I know what I know what my problem is.
I know me better than anybody know me.

01:57:55.910 --> 01:57:59.320
I know I went through, I know why I\'m the way I
am.

01:58:10.690 --> 01:58:14.220
But it doesn\'t really matter because it does
matter. Love.

01:58:14.230 --> 01:58:15.520
Okay.
It does matter.

01:58:23.470 --> 01:58:26.160
Make appointment tomorrow.
I\'m gonna talk to,

01:58:26.280 --> 01:58:31.230
um, Tiffany.
I mean, yeah, who\'s Tiffany?

01:58:31.870 --> 01:58:32.970
My new caseworker?

01:58:36.190 --> 01:58:41.090
I\'m just worried because I haven\'t been with
him in a year now and I missed out on a lot in

01:58:41.090 --> 01:58:45.270
his life.
I feel like I\'m a mother.

01:58:45.280 --> 01:58:49.490
That\'s how I feel.
And I don\'t, I don\'t, I don\'t even know,

01:58:49.500 --> 01:58:53.610
you feel like you\'re what I\'m my mother.
Why do you feel that?

01:58:53.620 --> 01:58:59.580
Because I\'m sitting here saying the same thing
she was saying I have,

01:58:59.610 --> 01:59:01.320
I had, I have six Children.

01:59:02.480 --> 01:59:09.470
I had a son that would have been 27 years old,
but he committed suicide four years

01:59:09.470 --> 01:59:12.810
ago.
Um, he didn\'t do drugs.

01:59:12.810 --> 01:59:16.870
He has three, he had three years of college on
his belt and he had a good job working at the

01:59:16.870 --> 01:59:20.340
empire state building, but he couldn\'t deal
with life on life\'s terms.

01:59:20.350 --> 01:59:27.320
So one day he took a gun, 25 automatic and went
to this place,

01:59:27.330 --> 01:59:31.430
um, somewhere in queens and he took his own
life.

01:59:31.980 --> 01:59:35.520
He didn\'t leave a note, a message or anything
like that.

01:59:35.530 --> 01:59:40.310
He just did it and I\'m still dealing with it.

01:59:41.070 --> 01:59:47.760
Um I\'ve been on public system ever since I had
kids because I had my oldest son when I was 16.

01:59:50.050 --> 01:59:53.980
It\'s been up, up and down.
Battle for me.

01:59:53.990 --> 01:59:57.990
I went, I got on drugs.
I was smoking crack cocaine.

01:59:58.000 --> 02:00:00.030
I went to a drug rehab.
I did that.

02:00:00.030 --> 02:00:01.090
I completed that.

02:00:01.630 --> 02:00:06.250
So I have a little over 10 years clean without
using crack cocaine.

02:00:11.130 --> 02:00:15.280
At the time that I was using drugs.
My kids got taken away from me and they got

02:00:15.280 --> 02:00:18.490
taken away from me an important years that they
really needed their mother.

02:00:18.500 --> 02:00:23.400
I built this little world in my own, my own
apartment.

02:00:23.410 --> 02:00:25.930
I stay in my room.
I watch TV.

02:00:25.940 --> 02:00:27.990
I crochet.
I do puzzles.

02:00:28.980 --> 02:00:34.060
It\'s been hard for me, I want to get off public
assistance so bad.

02:00:34.080 --> 02:00:36.360
But it\'s all I knew.

02:00:37.990 --> 02:00:44.920
I wanna stop hiding.
I wanna let go of the guilt and feel

02:00:44.920 --> 02:00:51.410
proud of myself and all the good things.
And, and when I first came to the center

02:00:51.420 --> 02:00:57.960
for Children and family, I didn\'t, I fought
with myself because I really didn\'t want to be

02:00:57.960 --> 02:01:01.940
here.
But I said I had to give myself a chance and

02:01:01.950 --> 02:01:08.740
y\'all feeling the void that I have inside of me
that let me know that you all care

02:01:08.750 --> 02:01:13.340
and you make me feel like a family and I want
to thank you all for that

02:01:25.310 --> 02:01:29.720
good morning.
My name is when I was younger um hanging with

02:01:29.720 --> 02:01:33.230
the wrong crew letting me doing bad things.

02:01:35.400 --> 02:01:42.120
Donna you know what you know something you know
something is gonna happen tomorrow

02:01:42.150 --> 02:01:48.400
it\'s gonna be your brother you\'re gonna be to
listen you\'re gonna be too

02:01:51.650 --> 02:01:56.010
Great.
We\'re gonna be a good boy big boy how are we

02:01:56.010 --> 02:01:57.160
gonna make 2?

02:01:58.320 --> 02:02:04.790
Let me see two you\'re gonna turn one.
Alright you\'re gonna turn to

02:02:04.800 --> 02:02:11.440
Happy birthday to Happy Birthday

02:02:11.450 --> 02:02:15.210
to Happy Birthday.

02:02:16.360 --> 02:02:17.970
We\'re done yet.

02:02:18.860 --> 02:02:19.860
Hi

02:02:29.510 --> 02:02:31.140
happy birthday.

02:02:32.290 --> 02:02:36.330
Happy birthday to right.

02:02:39.380 --> 02:02:40.820
Happy birthday.

02:02:41.910 --> 02:02:48.550
Happy birthday turns to let me see let me see

02:02:48.560 --> 02:02:51.410
how many years you are now too.

02:02:52.330 --> 02:02:55.090
Tell mama you too

02:03:01.230 --> 02:03:07.170
see you later Monday.
Alright bye

02:03:08.130 --> 02:03:12.320
bye bye bye bye come let\'s go.

02:03:18.470 --> 02:03:19.470
Mhm.

02:03:30.590 --> 02:03:34.240
So good news they\'re recommending discharge of
Daniel.

02:03:34.250 --> 02:03:40.750
Yeah immediately for real.
Yeah, this is a report from the agency and its

02:03:41.540 --> 02:03:45.150
essentially based on the recommendation of a
therapist.

02:03:45.150 --> 02:03:49.110
So, um, I guess the couple of times that you
didn\'t go,

02:03:49.110 --> 02:03:53.000
she didn\'t consider that to be out of
compliance.

02:03:53.000 --> 02:03:57.680
So, um, so based on that letter and the fact
that you\'ve completed parenting and the

02:03:57.680 --> 02:04:00.470
weekends have gone well and you can read this
if you want,

02:04:00.470 --> 02:04:05.520
but basically it\'s effective immediately
assuming you\'re ready.

02:04:05.530 --> 02:04:07.780
I mean, you don\'t want to wait. Right.

02:04:09.540 --> 02:04:13.480
Daniel B trial discharged to his birth mother.
Let me explain to you what trial discharge

02:04:13.480 --> 02:04:18.820
means.
Basically, it means that he\'s still technically

02:04:18.820 --> 02:04:22.000
going to be in foster care, he\'s gonna be
placed with you.

02:04:22.010 --> 02:04:29.010
But if something went wrong, they could remove
him, I\'m so happy.

02:04:29.850 --> 02:04:31.860
I thought this day would never come.
You know,

02:04:31.860 --> 02:04:36.350
that sort of felt like it\'s been a year and a
half.

02:04:37.600 --> 02:04:40.930
It could be in 24 hours.
That\'s why I want to know like if you\'re really

02:04:40.930 --> 02:04:43.990
ready though, I\'ll be right back.

02:04:49.400 --> 02:04:53.910
The following is an update on the above named
chat for the hearing scheduled for May 3rd,

02:04:53.910 --> 02:04:58.760
1999 case history.
Don Johanson was placed with mcmahon services

02:04:58.760 --> 02:05:03.630
for Children on 11 25 97 due to neglect by his
biological mother.

02:05:03.630 --> 02:05:08.750
Love Henson home therapist, Samantha Stanley
has informed the agency that MS Hinton is doing

02:05:08.750 --> 02:05:11.600
very well.
Miss Stanley knows that MS Hensen over the past

02:05:11.600 --> 02:05:16.960
few months has increased her sense of self and
self esteem since the previous court date,

02:05:16.970 --> 02:05:20.000
MS Hensen was granted weekend visits with her
son, Daniel.

02:05:20.300 --> 02:05:23.270
Those visits have been consistent and very
positive.

02:05:25.640 --> 02:05:28.820
I\'m so happy I can feel like a real mother.

02:05:30.730 --> 02:05:33.820
I\'m gonna have to walk the streets and see
everybody with their baby and I\'m not with my

02:05:35.410 --> 02:05:41.750
now we\'re gonna live like a family now. Dad.

02:05:57.920 --> 02:05:59.160
Mhm. Okay.

02:06:09.370 --> 02:06:15.650
You\'re finished. Okay. Okay.

02:06:16.110 --> 02:06:21.410
You want juice?
Okay?

02:06:23.710 --> 02:06:27.070
Uh

02:06:30.950 --> 02:06:33.340
you gotta take your shirt. Okay.

02:06:44.490 --> 02:06:49.510
Bye bye bye bye.
You gotta put it out.

02:06:49.520 --> 02:06:52.260
You want to go bye bye in the car.

02:06:54.060 --> 02:06:56.150
No, no, I gotta put this first.

02:06:56.410 --> 02:06:58.900
Yeah like this one cc

02:07:07.020 --> 02:07:10.350
Wait, wait, wait, wait now you do what?
You do it now,

02:07:10.360 --> 02:07:12.980
I\'ll help you. Yes.
Come on.

02:07:12.990 --> 02:07:18.920
Do it.
Do it. Mhm. Okay.

02:07:18.920 --> 02:07:25.740
Help you.
Let me help you do it.

02:07:26.630 --> 02:07:27.940
You gotta get your shirt.
Come on.

02:07:27.950 --> 02:07:29.160
They\'re coming for you.

02:07:35.120 --> 02:07:39.490
Come on.
Oh you can\'t do this.

02:07:49.580 --> 02:07:53.460
Yeah, it\'s gonna be okay. Okay.

02:07:58.910 --> 02:08:02.150
Okay. Sure.

02:08:08.270 --> 02:08:09.270
I don\'t know.

02:08:20.140 --> 02:08:22.980
What else does he have the box?

02:08:24.600 --> 02:08:25.110
The other one?

02:08:37.190 --> 02:08:40.170
Yeah, they\'re taking your, your suitcases.

02:09:04.580 --> 02:09:06.590
Army,

02:09:10.750 --> 02:09:13.730
army, army.

02:09:14.920 --> 02:09:16.860
What you want?
The toy?

02:09:21.310 --> 02:09:22.310
Come on.
Let\'s play with that.

02:09:28.560 --> 02:09:32.870
Shut up. Mhm.

02:09:36.010 --> 02:09:37.570
Mm. Hmm.

02:09:43.280 --> 02:09:44.440
Beep. Beep.

02:09:45.640 --> 02:09:50.410
B B what?

02:09:53.700 --> 02:09:57.040
Beep, beep, MS Diaz.

02:09:57.650 --> 02:09:58.770
She\'s at her home.

02:09:59.120 --> 02:10:02.410
She didn\'t want to come. Okay.

02:10:02.870 --> 02:10:06.860
All right.
It\'s kinda hard channel for a while.

02:10:06.860 --> 02:10:07.930
She had him longer than I had.

02:10:08.720 --> 02:10:11.770
Chat him longer.
Than I have. Mhm.

02:10:14.460 --> 02:10:19.100
Look London, you\'re coming home y\'all have a
good night.

02:10:24.500 --> 02:10:26.010
Okay.
Okay,

02:10:30.970 --> 02:10:31.970
easy

02:10:51.580 --> 02:10:58.210
you doing this.
You better stop you.

02:10:59.850 --> 02:11:00.850
Yeah,

02:11:08.550 --> 02:11:14.020
go now look because this is really getting
ridiculous.

02:11:14.020 --> 02:11:20.760
Now look what you\'re

02:11:20.770 --> 02:11:27.060
doing.
Courtney calling me, took him out

02:11:28.650 --> 02:11:30.930
letting me know he did it.

02:11:37.960 --> 02:11:41.440
Don\'t put stuff in a fish tank. Okay. Alright.

02:11:42.070 --> 02:11:43.170
That\'s not nice.

02:11:45.150 --> 02:11:47.550
Just like seeing it go down.

02:11:48.270 --> 02:11:54.990
Yeah, he bugging out on the reel.
He like throwing stuff in the woods

02:11:57.670 --> 02:11:59.760
now I\'m leaving it there because you ain\'t
getting it back.

02:12:03.980 --> 02:12:05.870
Look corny.
She bought her new stuff too.

02:12:13.050 --> 02:12:18.330
I\'m not gonna keep getting that wrong. Yeah.

02:12:22.090 --> 02:12:27.040
Don\'t let it go no more. See. Yeah.

02:12:28.840 --> 02:12:29.360
Come in.

02:12:37.700 --> 02:12:43.790
Yeah. Yeah.

02:12:45.010 --> 02:12:46.010
Okay.

02:13:45.300 --> 02:13:45.930
Mean

02:14:05.930 --> 02:14:11.870
no, no

02:14:15.160 --> 02:14:18.400
no you got your own paper right here. No.

02:15:06.370 --> 02:15:11.960
Leave it alone.
Leave it alone.

02:15:11.960 --> 02:15:12.960
Don\'t touch it no more.

02:15:20.250 --> 02:15:25.920
Stop it.
Give up y\'all

02:15:27.280 --> 02:15:32.100
good boy.
Good boy.

02:15:33.280 --> 02:15:36.000
No, you\'re not a good boy.

02:15:36.740 --> 02:15:43.600
Yes you are.
So you are a good boy when I got back home I

02:15:43.610 --> 02:15:46.370
remember that day was happy because everybody
was happy.

02:15:47.040 --> 02:15:49.200
Charles came running in their happy hug me.

02:15:51.760 --> 02:15:57.640
I was happy.
My mom was like let\'s go outside.

02:15:59.600 --> 02:16:02.010
She was walking around the street talking about
everybody.

02:16:02.020 --> 02:16:05.040
This is my kids.
This is my daughter.

02:16:05.050 --> 02:16:06.440
I was like, oh God,

02:16:12.290 --> 02:16:16.350
I\'m proud.
Well she wasn\'t ready for us to come home.

02:16:19.990 --> 02:16:21.050
Come on.

02:16:32.430 --> 02:16:38.130
Oh night, night,

02:16:43.620 --> 02:16:45.980
go to sleep, go to same shape.

02:17:02.970 --> 02:17:09.500
Why would you like to work on my concert?
I would like to work for your company because

02:17:09.500 --> 02:17:13.100
of the atmosphere.
And I feel that I\'m excellent person for the

02:17:13.100 --> 02:17:15.990
job.
I\'m a hard worker, I\'m reliable,

02:17:15.990 --> 02:17:17.640
responsible, dependable.

02:17:18.500 --> 02:17:24.480
And I feel that I can learn a lot in your
company and also help your companies grow.

02:17:24.490 --> 02:17:29.640
Okay.
When can I start? Okay.

02:17:29.650 --> 02:17:36.400
How is that comments?

02:17:36.410 --> 02:17:41.270
When you asked about the job?
She actually, she said that it was a program

02:17:41.280 --> 02:17:44.090
and then a program is not really a job.
My correct.

02:17:44.100 --> 02:17:48.080
Remember what we said about program?
Remember how we said sometimes when we put a

02:17:48.080 --> 02:17:53.690
program on your resident has a stigma.
So you want to steer clear using program.

02:17:53.700 --> 02:17:56.260
What about when her required skills?

02:17:56.820 --> 02:17:59.770
Me like her typing.
When she, when I asked about her,

02:18:00.040 --> 02:18:02.340
it was good.
She was going to take that extra mouth.

02:18:02.340 --> 02:18:04.720
She said I\'ll work on it. Okay.
Her attitude,

02:18:04.970 --> 02:18:11.900
her attitude was very positive. Okay.
Her appearance where

02:18:12.000 --> 02:18:14.350
tonight, what was so professional about her
pants?

02:18:14.350 --> 02:18:18.960
She had on a nice shirt, white flowers, a nice
white flowers,

02:18:18.970 --> 02:18:25.920
a nice black jacket, professional proper life
skirt, perfect pumps were working on the

02:18:25.920 --> 02:18:32.460
stockings.
But she extremely did she get hired or

02:18:32.460 --> 02:18:34.600
not?

02:18:40.810 --> 02:18:43.060
Why are you tearing joy?

02:18:43.370 --> 02:18:47.820
All the work, all the pain or the heart that
goes into it?

02:18:47.830 --> 02:18:51.220
And how does it make you feel?
You get on the like?

02:18:51.230 --> 02:18:57.450
Yes, you gonna be all right.
Oh my God.

02:19:00.000 --> 02:19:05.950
So these are, I\'m happy. Enthusiastic.
You,

02:19:05.960 --> 02:19:10.690
so you ready, willing and able to work now
we\'re gonna conquer this,

02:19:10.690 --> 02:19:12.530
right?
All right.

02:19:18.640 --> 02:19:23.710
Who\'s after Diane on her interview? Okay.

02:19:30.600 --> 02:19:31.550
Okay.

02:19:38.050 --> 02:19:43.430
Mhm.
What to do back?

02:19:48.400 --> 02:19:52.530
I\'m honest.
I have no money whatsoever.

02:19:56.410 --> 02:19:59.480
I need to talk about the same thing.

02:19:59.730 --> 02:20:01.660
You think?
I\'m feeling good?

02:20:04.570 --> 02:20:06.580
I have no money whatsoever.

02:20:09.030 --> 02:20:13.770
And this far I\'m about to go to what you tell
them how the phone getting cut for because

02:20:13.770 --> 02:20:15.690
she\'s talking about I got money and I ain\'t got
no money.

02:20:17.780 --> 02:20:21.870
So you don\'t have to tell her the phone getting
cut for her to know that so she can go around

02:20:21.870 --> 02:20:24.360
telling everybody.
Yeah, they got their phone cut off.

02:20:24.370 --> 02:20:28.180
You walk around here and you get piste off and
you start talking to some of the ship and you

02:20:28.180 --> 02:20:34.360
just steady talking more ship and then you get
yourself something that me and then when people,

02:20:34.360 --> 02:20:36.990
when I want to talk to somebody and this is how

02:20:48.100 --> 02:20:53.350
He sees me in Courtney five and after, after he
see us fight and I turned around and screaming,

02:20:54.460 --> 02:20:59.870
it hurts him a whole lot and it hurts me even
worse because I don\'t even want to do those

02:20:59.870 --> 02:21:02.490
things. Yeah.

02:21:08.050 --> 02:21:10.740
My worker came today A CS working today.

02:21:13.030 --> 02:21:15.150
I should be going to therapy and that\'s what I
should be doing.

02:21:15.260 --> 02:21:16.720
But instead I\'m not doing it.

02:21:18.740 --> 02:21:20.490
I\'m in the house arguing and fighting with him.

02:21:31.760 --> 02:21:32.170
Okay.

02:21:40.040 --> 02:21:41.890
Okay. Yeah.

02:21:59.480 --> 02:22:02.010
Wow. Mhm.

02:22:14.890 --> 02:22:19.420
It\'s been like three months.
I haven\'t seen her.

02:22:21.740 --> 02:22:27.470
His phone is off To be going like six times

02:22:31.520 --> 02:22:33.410
shoes.
He calls, but I don\'t understand.

02:22:33.410 --> 02:22:36.510
The last time I talked to her was New Year\'s
Eve.

02:22:38.560 --> 02:22:40.510
That was the last time I told her.

02:22:51.260 --> 02:22:55.930
Welcome to the Center for Children and families
strive graduation.

02:22:55.940 --> 02:23:00.760
Welcome.
Now, as is our custom, as is our custom.

02:23:00.770 --> 02:23:05.770
I see some family members, I see some brothers,
sisters, fathers,

02:23:05.780 --> 02:23:09.990
some mothers, some daughters, some sons.
We got to get to know who,

02:23:10.000 --> 02:23:11.240
who are you?

02:23:18.720 --> 02:23:25.540
Thank you for coming.
My mother,

02:23:37.680 --> 02:23:41.570
one of my daughter and I think was coming.
She\'s here with my grandson.

02:23:41.580 --> 02:23:46.960
Her name is love, my daughter. Love.
It\'s about you today.

02:23:46.960 --> 02:23:51.130
It\'s all about you.
It\'s about where you\'ve been,

02:23:51.160 --> 02:23:57.680
why you\'re here at graduation, the journey that
went on and more importantly and where are you

02:23:57.690 --> 02:23:59.900
going?
That\'s the most important thing.

02:23:59.910 --> 02:24:04.070
These certificates that you\'re about to receive
are only the beginning.

02:24:04.080 --> 02:24:07.860
They\'re beginning to something big.
They\'re getting something very big.

02:24:08.460 --> 02:24:13.830
I didn\'t think I was worth anything and now I
know I\'m worth everything.

02:24:20.050 --> 02:24:21.730
All right.

02:24:26.400 --> 02:24:31.200
If you hadn\'t saw me when I first came in here,
I was a mess

02:24:36.210 --> 02:24:37.290
Diane.

02:24:38.080 --> 02:24:44.350
Diane was there for me when times got bad for
me and when I was like,

02:24:45.440 --> 02:24:48.590
I wanna come, I wanna forget about it.

02:24:49.240 --> 02:24:50.560
You kept me here.

02:24:53.150 --> 02:25:00.130
Thank you awards today.
This award has

02:25:00.140 --> 02:25:05.900
a very special meaning because it\'s the team
work and team play award.

02:25:05.910 --> 02:25:10.740
This person kept everybody together, always
showed their support and they call me the

02:25:10.740 --> 02:25:14.290
mother love.
But I like to say this is the real mother love.

02:25:14.300 --> 02:25:16.300
We congratulate Diane.

02:25:25.320 --> 02:25:32.100
Yeah.
Um I would like to say thank you to all my

02:25:32.110 --> 02:25:38.030
co workers, especially the staff.
And today, I can also say that I have

02:25:38.030 --> 02:25:44.610
confidence and I\'m proud of who I am today and
I love the support of my Children.

02:25:44.620 --> 02:25:47.430
And I want to thank my strive family also.

02:25:50.270 --> 02:25:53.750
I feel very special.
I love my mother.

02:25:53.760 --> 02:26:00.740
That\'s how I feel about if he would have said
this to me seven years

02:26:00.740 --> 02:26:03.910
ago, I wouldn\'t have said the same thing.
But I think I\'m really,

02:26:03.920 --> 02:26:10.860
really forgiving my mother for letting us get
takeaway before I wasn\'t doing that.

02:26:11.620 --> 02:26:18.610
And I did have a lot of obstacles and issues
that I had to deal with.

02:26:18.620 --> 02:26:24.020
Now, I could just see, yeah, she did make
mistakes just like me,

02:26:25.430 --> 02:26:30.490
but she came and got me back and some parents
don\'t do that.

02:26:31.130 --> 02:26:34.400
Um And I know it was hard for my mother.

02:26:37.620 --> 02:26:39.180
I guess it\'s hard for both of us.

02:26:40.610 --> 02:26:41.810
I don\'t know.

02:26:42.300 --> 02:26:47.120
And I just thank God today was enhanced the
beauty within me.

02:26:47.780 --> 02:26:54.730
Thank you.
She did her best and I love my mother for

02:26:54.730 --> 02:26:59.780
that.
Thank you. Yeah.

02:27:03.390 --> 02:27:10.360
Sorry.
I

02:27:10.370 --> 02:27:15.930
know I\'m here.
Find out what they wrote up about me

02:27:18.800 --> 02:27:24.050
during the week, weekly visits that they was
coming to my house to see how I was doing

02:27:25.730 --> 02:27:26.890
and how you doing?

02:27:31.150 --> 02:27:37.660
My son is back home now and I\'m happy, what am
I?

02:27:41.490 --> 02:27:44.010
I find myself sometimes like when I don\'t do
the right thing,

02:27:44.450 --> 02:27:51.410
I don\'t want to talk to nobody, I just don\'t
want to talk to

02:27:51.410 --> 02:27:57.990
him because all my life, I guess I have people
telling me you got to do this,

02:27:57.990 --> 02:28:00.950
you gotta do that.
And I never had my own life never to myself

02:28:00.950 --> 02:28:06.200
where I can, I think to myself and say, well,
this is what I want.

02:28:06.270 --> 02:28:08.060
No, I never had that.

02:28:09.180 --> 02:28:12.060
I never had it.
What I think about myself.

02:28:12.090 --> 02:28:14.350
Everybody telling you this is what you should
do.

02:28:14.390 --> 02:28:19.240
And this is what I think you should do and this
is what you have to do and this is what you\'re

02:28:19.250 --> 02:28:25.980
going to do.
So and then when I don\'t do it, I feel

02:28:27.060 --> 02:28:28.130
self destruct.

02:28:30.050 --> 02:28:36.930
So I feel like how I felt when my mother was

02:28:36.940 --> 02:28:42.300
sitting there looking at me when they took us
like an ask and why she didn\'t do anything and

02:28:42.300 --> 02:28:43.590
how could she let this happen?

02:28:44.770 --> 02:28:48.660
Then sometimes I say I\'m not a fit mother for
my son because I\'m not even in control of my

02:28:48.660 --> 02:28:49.700
own emotions.

02:28:50.030 --> 02:28:51.910
I\'m not even in control of myself.

02:28:52.570 --> 02:28:59.410
Yeah, that\'s what\'s hard because I know I need
to be better for my

02:28:59.410 --> 02:29:02.760
son and my son don\'t deserve a life like how I
had.

02:29:03.340 --> 02:29:03.940
Don\'t.

02:29:14.130 --> 02:29:15.500
Hi, how you doing?

02:29:17.370 --> 02:29:22.470
How\'s it going?
So, um, I have good news.

02:29:22.480 --> 02:29:25.920
Everybody\'s agreeing that Danya should stay
home with you.

02:29:26.140 --> 02:29:28.280
So, this is what they\'re agreeing to do.

02:29:28.640 --> 02:29:32.160
If in the next year everything goes.
Well, it\'s over.

02:29:32.460 --> 02:29:35.290
I find it black.
It\'s totally gone.

02:29:35.300 --> 02:29:40.970
So, it\'s not on your record if you ever want to
be a teacher to graduate high school for us.

02:29:40.970 --> 02:29:43.680
But I know you talked about maybe want to work
with kids.

02:29:43.690 --> 02:29:46.850
It would be great.
So it\'ll be gone.

02:29:46.990 --> 02:29:51.900
And I think the reason that you got it is
because people feel like you\'ve really made a

02:29:51.900 --> 02:29:56.160
lot of progress and you\'ve done really well and
I want to show you that,

02:29:56.400 --> 02:30:01.200
but as I told you before, you got to keep up
the good work and I know that there was like a

02:30:01.200 --> 02:30:06.710
step up for a month about not going to therapy,
but just from Dona to you really got to keep up

02:30:06.720 --> 02:30:08.410
with,

02:30:21.790 --> 02:30:23.420
well, let\'s break down, isn\'t it?

02:30:32.580 --> 02:30:39.440
I don\'t have enough energy to overwhelm myself
with

02:30:39.450 --> 02:30:40.080
happiness.

02:30:48.180 --> 02:30:50.280
Well, this is good news.
I could tell Courtney and Danielle

02:31:44.490 --> 02:31:46.490
don\'t play it for mommy.

02:32:05.900 --> 02:32:06.300
Yeah.