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- [Instructor] Okay, come on guys.

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Everybody watch your feet, stay on the path please.

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Thank you.

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- No matter what you say, prison is another planet.

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When you enter prison, it\'s called inside.

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She was inside, she was inside.

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I once wrote a poem.

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In fact I wrote it for Gene Harris.

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And the poem was, it was about a little boy

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coming home from school one day and his father

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said to him what do you have to do

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for homework and he said vocabulary.

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The father said to him what\'s the

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first word and he said prison.

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And the father said to him a prison is a bad

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place where bad people go who do bad things.

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And the little boy said where do

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good people go who do bad things?

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(gentle acoustic guitar music)

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- Well this is a maximum security prison.

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The moms are here from anywhere from a

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life sentence to maybe a five year sentence.

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One thing that doesn\'t get addressed

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really anywhere else is that these kids

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have been hurt, they\'ve been hurt by

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their mothers because their mothers left.

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They need to reconcile and they need to heal

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some of those wounds, and that happens in here.

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I was just actually talking to one of

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the mothers and she said this is not my home.

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You can\'t tell me this is my home.

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I said you know what, you\'re right.

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But wherever you are is where your child is at home.

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(gentle xylophone music)

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- Initially, being a mother from here, I was

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burdened with guilt, I was fighting depression, I was...

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I was struggling because, like every woman

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in this penitentiary, whether they\'re

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a mother or not, I was broken.

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In a way we\'re all sick and broken when we

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enter these gates or we wouldn\'t be here.

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- Tanika.

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Tanika.

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Girl, why you drinking coffee?

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(mumbles) for you.

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You\'re not supposed to put coffee

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in your body, that destroys the temple.

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I keep telling you that and about the cigarettes.

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No, don\'t drink no coffee.

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- Trish, stop.

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- That\'s not good for you.

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- All right, this is it for today, all right?

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- Oh boy.

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- [Male Inspector] Good morning ladies.

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- [Female Inspector] We just wanna see what you\'re doing.

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- Just go get our cubbies, put the

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tablecloths on the tables and set up.

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I have breakfast garbage, breakfast cleanup.

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- I have end of the day garbage.

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(laughter)

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- Two years into my incarceration, I was sure

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I\'m gonna get that appeal, I\'m gonna get

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that 440, I\'m gonna (mumbles) and

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I\'m going, that\'s where I was at.

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I wouldn\'t say I was a walking hopeful, but I was

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a walking it\'s gonna happen, I\'m out of here.

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But today I\'ve been incarcerated

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nine years, it\'s going on nine years.

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I want them to know that I\'m not here because I

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don\'t love you, I\'m here because I made a poor decision.

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- I\'m gonna be...

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Mona, the maker of magnificent moments.

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- [Kids] Mona, the maker of magnificent moments.

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(applause and cheers)

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- I know we all have hidden talents, we have

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some singers, I know we got some dancers.

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You dance?

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Who here can dance?

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Raise your hands.

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So what we\'re gonna do is we\'re gonna make a video.

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Then we\'re all gonna watch our video.

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Okay?

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(applause)

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My name is Mona Graves.

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1988 was the year that I arrived

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in the state penitentiary, and I was actually

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the 305th female inmate to arrive that year.

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I just started my 19th year of a 20 year sentence.

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When I first came here I actually was

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a caregiver in the Children\'s Center.

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I just, I\'m a very creative artist,

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I painted all that rainbow and stuff

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on the wall of the visiting room.

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I do a lot of art projects.

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I make costumes, stuff, just to get them riled up and going.

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You want more feathers on it?

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We need a vest now.

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We\'re making a costume for Star Search,

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it was gonna be a skirt.

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I think that in a situation like this you just

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don\'t appreciate the most simplest things in life.

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Look at the camera.

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Open your eyes, you can open it.

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Just the sound of children\'s laughter, it\'s so rewarding.

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What happened was, I don\'t know if

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you know my story, do you know my story?

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In 1985 I used to smoke PCP, angel dust, so I was an addict.

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I smoked angel dust every day, like the norm.

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I was 19 years old, and this night we

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went to cop angel dust on Levis Boulevard

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and someone was hit by the car, I have

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a co-defendant, a male that was driving,

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and the person died in a hospital, so it was a hit and run.

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Meanwhile I woke up in the hospital,

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I didn\'t even know I was under arrest.

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I was sentenced in 1987 for 20 years to life.

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Justin was 14 months old when I was arrested.

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As for Travis, I gave birth to him

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while I was a prisoner, and my mother

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took him home from the hospital.

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He never came with me.

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Travis, growing up, he was very withdrawn, so quiet,

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whereas Justin was always so bubbly and friendly.

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It had a profound impact that I didn\'t get

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to spend those nurturing years with him.

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And I think one day I\'m gonna be with them

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and I\'m gonna be a grandmother,

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so it\'s really given me hope.

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From over the years, with appeals and

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courts and lawyers, all kinds of motions

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and federal habes and more lawyers, they\'re like

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ma, please, you\'ve been telling me

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you\'re gonna come home since I\'m eight.

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- She been away since I was two, 10 years,

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and I\'ll be 14 when she get out.

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I\'m 12 now.

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It kinda felt, at first I didn\'t understand,

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but now that I\'m older, it feels kinda weird.

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Not having a mom when everybody else does.

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- My oldest daughter, she\'s very upset

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that I\'m here in prison period.

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She thinks that there was no need for the crime to happen.

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She\'s bitter, she\'s angry, and I allow her

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to speak to me freely, but she also loves me.

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She also knows that was a mistake on my behalf

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and that had nothing to do with her

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or anyone else and that I just made a mistake

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and I had to pay for it, I have to pay for it.

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- This is her side of the room, and that\'s

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my side of the room, but this is

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really my room, but we share it.

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That\'s her side of the room.

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- \'Cause I don\'t like to sleep in my room.

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My room\'s downstairs.

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- My mother had custody of them for a while

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and she couldn\'t handle it anymore

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and she went out on another binge.

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My mother is drug addict.

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- She was clean for a long time, as soon

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as we came in her life, she was clean and then

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she just got stressed out, she went back on drugs.

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- I\'m a good grandmother.

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I\'m a good sister, I\'m a good aunty, and I\'m a good person.

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What happened happened, I\'m an addict.

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It\'s part of addict\'s life sometimes to relapse.

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I could kick my ass, I really could,

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10 years, two months and 13 days,

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I could kick my ass too, you know?

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But getting my granddaughters back,

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I\'m not gonna do anything to stop that.

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- You dressed?

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Pull your shirt down, girl.

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You got visitors.

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Okay.

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- I had gotten arrested, right after that

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I went in the in patient drop program,

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right after that I got pregnant, right after

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that I found out I actually going to jail.

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So within less than a five month

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period a lot of things had happened.

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About two, maybe three arms length across.

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This is my bed, right next to the crib.

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We\'re very close to each other.

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I never thought in my wildest dreams I\'d

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ever know anybody that went to

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jail, never mind my own daughter.

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It\'s so hard.

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I found out she was pregnant two months before she left.

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Can\'t imagine that my first grandchild

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was ever gonna be born in a prison.

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I said something that I now stand to

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eat my words, I said that I hope that

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one day I could come to love this baby.

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I didn\'t know if I could.

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And I eat my words, I was so so wrong.

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- I was arrested in 2001, February.

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I\'ve always been upfront with my kids

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and I\'ve never sugarcoated this place,

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I\'ve told them this is where mommy is,

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it\'s temporary, it may seem like

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a long time, but mommy will be home,

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and God willing I\'ll be home in less than 36 months.

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It\'s hard, but I think if you have

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that bond, it\'s never broken.

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It\'s just never broken.

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I remember trusting somebody in

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my apartment which I shouldn\'t have

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and leaving that person there with

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my son while I went to pick up

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my oldest song from school, and Jacob

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unfortunately was there was the crime was committed.

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- I know.

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- [Interviewer] You wanna do the story?

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Yeah?

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Okay.

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- This is very interesting because he\'s never

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recanted the story since it happened.

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(dramatic atmosphere music)

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- When people come to prison, especially women,

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their best friend has been failure.

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For some of the women, a failure to be a good mother.

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And suddenly they come to prison and there

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is given to them the opportunity not to

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change the past so much, but to begin again.

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And to acknowledge that they weren\'t

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a great mother, but they have the

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opportunity to start to be a good mother.

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- [Bobby] I know, I understand

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\'cause you\'re really tired too.

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- And I tried the bottle twice, but then I

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don\'t wanna make her mad and then

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she\'s not gonna want it during the

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day, that\'s what I was afraid of.

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- It\'s very hard to figure out

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what to do in the middle of the night,

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but do what you can to discourage it.

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I started at the Children\'s Center about 12 years ago

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as a volunteer and I just fell in love with it.

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I started coming regularly, monthly, and then

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when a job in here opened, I said I think I\'ll do that.

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It was really, it really changed my life.

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And I\'ve been here ever since.

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- I don\'t think I\'m gonna fit.

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- We try and keep the settings related to

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family, and this family time that you spend,

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because even though the women come from

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a chaotic crazy household that didn\'t

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feel like any kind of home, they can

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create a home just in and of themselves.

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Women come to this room and they\'re just inmates.

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They become mothers.

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Just that transformation, right then and there,

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you can see it, you can see it happening in them.

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They\'re not different people, but they

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have a whole different role to play.

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Just seeing that is a transformative

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experience for them in there.

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- Seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, okay.

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11 to Bedford.

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Let\'s say a little prayer before we begin, okay?

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I\'m Sister Elaine.

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Dear God, guide the bus driver.

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Grant us a safe trip.

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Let us do everything to make this world

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a happier, a holier, a safer place, amen.

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- [Passengers] A safer place, amen.

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- [Elaine] Happy Mother\'s Day everybody.

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If we\'re lucky we should be up there by 9:20.

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- I told them she\'s very lucky to have room.

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(mumbles) was in the system.

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I\'m glad they have room.

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- That\'s right, we incarcerate more

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people than any other country in the world.

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There has to be other ways of punishing

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people than punishing the children

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and punishing the grandmothers, you know?

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I say the grandmothers should be out

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playing Bingo, instead they\'re...

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- Taking care of--

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- That\'s right, exactly.

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I love your jacket, I love your jacket.

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Yeah, I love this.

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- I said put the suit on.

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No, I\'m not putting on no suit.

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He wanna put on a jean, I said

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no you\'re not going with no jean.

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- Not on Mother\'s Day.

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- Now I have to live with my grandmother.

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She probably find it hard because we

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can get on her bad side when we want to.

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My mother knows everything about me,

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but sometimes she doesn\'t get to

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see me for a long time, and I\'m her

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oldest son, seeing me for a long time.

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I mean it\'s very stressful.

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- I miss her a lot, and when you

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always see her, she protects you.

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She gives you love and she\'s the best mom.

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♪ If you\'re happy and you know it wink your eye ♪

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♪ If you\'re happy and you know it wink your eye ♪

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♪ If you\'re happy and you know it ♪

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♪ And you really wanna show it ♪

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♪ If you\'re happy and you know it wink your eye ♪

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- The prison picture is not good.

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Because you punish the children.

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See I believe these children really love their mothers.

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And I knew that there weren\'t any bars in existence

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that could separate them from their mother\'s love.

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Impossible.

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You can be a parent no matter where you are.

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That was an explosive, explosive concept.

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That you didn\'t have to stop being a

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parent because you were incarcerated.

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When I first went to Bedford Hills I founded the

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Children\'s Center, but I did not found the nursery,

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it was founded in 1900 which would make me 106.

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- Sister Elaine had been a principal in

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a school, she had been a Mother Superior in

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a school where some of the children she

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was working with had incarcerated parents.

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Sister Elaine perceived a real need

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for these moms to see their children.

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And the philosophy of the Children\'s Center

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originally was the kids will search

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their parent out somehow, someway.

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And if they can have a real relationship

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with the parent instead of romanticizing

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the parent as oh, mom\'s in the big house,

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or any of that stuff, I really believe

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that they are less likely to come here

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and try and follow their mother into prison.

20:02.688 --> 20:03.521
This is good.

20:03.521 --> 20:04.368
- That\'s perfect.

20:06.078 --> 20:07.011
- Thanks, Mona.

20:12.943 --> 20:16.292
- Actually we do the silhouettes, we just did

20:16.292 --> 20:19.958
the shadow of the kids and their mother\'s faces.

20:19.958 --> 20:22.268
We just put it in a frame, it\'s like a picture almost.

20:22.268 --> 20:24.380
We\'ve been doing this for a very long time.

20:24.380 --> 20:26.908
19 years, it\'s my 19th year doing this.

20:26.908 --> 20:29.008
I\'m like the silhouette professional here.

20:30.137 --> 20:32.667
- It is your 19th year isn\'t it Mona?

20:32.667 --> 20:34.308
Are you getting tired doing this, Mona?

20:34.308 --> 20:35.338
Would you like a new assignment?

20:35.338 --> 20:36.438
- Yeah, I would like a new assignment

20:36.438 --> 20:38.230
on the other side of the gate.

20:38.230 --> 20:39.278
(laughter)

20:39.278 --> 20:41.248
- I\'m anxious, I\'m anxious.

20:41.248 --> 20:42.465
I don\'t know why.

20:42.465 --> 20:43.654
(laughs)

20:43.654 --> 20:44.868
But I\'m anxious.

20:45.838 --> 20:50.838
- I saw my mom last month for the first time in three years.

20:51.894 --> 20:54.238
She\'s coming again today.

20:54.238 --> 20:56.518
- I had asked (mumbles) kids if they\'d

20:56.518 --> 20:58.115
seen Joey and Jacob, they said there

20:58.115 --> 20:59.565
was a lot of people ahead of them.

20:59.565 --> 21:02.018
- And they have two different search areas.

21:02.018 --> 21:03.338
So if you\'re coming to the event

21:03.338 --> 21:04.918
you\'re getting searched separately

21:04.918 --> 21:06.638
which will make it go a lot faster,

21:06.638 --> 21:08.435
so hopefully they\'ll be here soon.

21:10.008 --> 21:12.325
- [Elaine] Look at that line, look at that.

21:12.325 --> 21:14.161
Look at that line.

21:17.630 --> 21:19.306
Ay yi yi.

21:19.306 --> 21:23.223
(gentle acoustic guitar music)

21:39.058 --> 21:40.388
- Well they\'re gonna come up,

21:40.388 --> 21:41.988
that\'s how we\'re gonna find out.

21:43.228 --> 21:44.798
This is the only thing that bothers me.

21:44.798 --> 21:45.768
I don\'t care about anything else.

21:45.768 --> 21:48.388
I can\'t stand it, it\'s just how these

21:48.388 --> 21:50.388
families travel, and then they sit there

21:50.388 --> 21:52.488
and they wait and they wait and they wait.

21:53.698 --> 21:55.458
There\'s some people coming in.

21:55.458 --> 21:56.671
- They\'re coming up now?

22:00.334 --> 22:02.991
(laughter)

22:02.991 --> 22:05.898
- Happy Mother\'s Day.

22:05.898 --> 22:07.532
This is our last Mother\'s Day.

22:07.532 --> 22:10.149
We don\'t have to come again ever again.

22:10.149 --> 22:11.326
Right?

22:11.326 --> 22:12.275
- [Anneathia] That\'s right.

22:12.275 --> 22:14.602
- Our last Mother\'s Day in here.

22:14.602 --> 22:15.435
- Hey, you got here.

22:15.435 --> 22:16.948
How long did you wait at the gate?

22:16.948 --> 22:18.257
- 5,000 hours.

22:18.257 --> 22:19.439
(laughter)

22:19.439 --> 22:20.704
- 5,000 hours.

22:20.704 --> 22:22.625
- That\'s the way it felt to me.

22:22.625 --> 22:23.568
- You didn\'t have to stand there.

22:23.568 --> 22:25.218
- I know, but I kept looking at

22:25.218 --> 22:27.758
your mother for 5,000 hours going when are they

22:27.758 --> 22:30.688
gonna get here, when are they gonna get here?

22:30.688 --> 22:32.288
- I was mad with God for a long time

22:32.288 --> 22:34.828
for taking my daughter away, but I realized,

22:34.828 --> 22:37.938
I prayed for Him to keep her safe and He kept her safe.

22:37.938 --> 22:41.128
She didn\'t stop growing, she didn\'t stop learning.

22:41.128 --> 22:43.848
While I blame myself for where she is,

22:43.848 --> 22:45.933
because I\'m a recovering addict also,

22:45.933 --> 22:48.711
and she never used the drugs, but just

22:48.711 --> 22:51.218
the lifestyle, and now I realize that

22:51.218 --> 22:53.355
I introduced the lifestyle to her.

22:55.698 --> 23:00.438
- My mother started using drugs when I was around 12.

23:00.438 --> 23:02.108
She chose drugs over me.

23:02.108 --> 23:04.188
Well that\'s how I felt when I was a child.

23:04.188 --> 23:06.578
Oh yeah, I\'ve said it all the time, I said

23:06.578 --> 23:08.008
I would never do that to my kids, I\'m never

23:08.008 --> 23:10.578
gonna use drugs, but I didn\'t use drugs

23:10.578 --> 23:12.982
and I robbed two people and I still left

23:12.982 --> 23:15.918
my kids, so it was the same, it\'s almost like

23:15.918 --> 23:18.778
a repeat cycle, it\'s just in a different form.

23:18.778 --> 23:21.394
- I still don\'t know the charge, I still don\'t know...

23:21.394 --> 23:23.318
- It was attempted murder in the second degree.

23:23.318 --> 23:24.705
- It\'s on the computer.

23:24.705 --> 23:25.729
- It\'s on the computer?

23:25.729 --> 23:28.671
- Say cheese!

23:28.671 --> 23:30.306
Happy Mother\'s Day.

23:30.306 --> 23:32.109
- [Anneathia] Okay, that\'s for you to take home.

23:32.109 --> 23:33.618
- [Mona Voiceover] In my case I told my son,

23:33.618 --> 23:35.594
I said you know what, don\'t even bother coming

23:35.594 --> 23:37.341
to Mother\'s Day, you\'re gonna stand outside for hours.

23:38.428 --> 23:40.071
- I hope you got things in order.

23:41.928 --> 23:42.761
How long do I--

23:42.761 --> 23:43.594
- 19 years?

23:43.594 --> 23:44.651
- 19 years, yeah.

23:45.740 --> 23:47.308
- One of my first jobs was with Sister.

23:47.308 --> 23:49.421
- That\'s right, and then she just

23:49.421 --> 23:51.348
started this whole Mother\'s Day thing.

23:51.348 --> 23:54.048
So much to do with Mona, so much to do with Mona.

23:54.048 --> 23:57.434
Isn\'t that wonderful, all the picture taking, everything.

23:57.434 --> 23:58.267
- Silhouettes.

23:58.267 --> 23:59.618
- Anything party, party, party.

23:59.618 --> 24:00.600
- One big party.

24:00.600 --> 24:03.508
- But for the children, for the children.

24:03.508 --> 24:05.871
- It\'s all about the kids.

24:05.871 --> 24:08.151
- All about, okay, so see if you can do that for me.

24:09.829 --> 24:12.538
- A mom that\'s with her kids day in and day out.

24:12.538 --> 24:15.118
There\'s a certain status that goes with that

24:15.118 --> 24:17.418
and a pride you take in your family

24:17.418 --> 24:21.173
and your role as a mother, and these

24:21.173 --> 24:23.628
moms don\'t get that every day.

24:23.628 --> 24:25.578
They play other roles, they\'re inmates,

24:25.578 --> 24:28.037
they\'re workers, they\'re teachers,

24:28.037 --> 24:29.788
they\'re all kinds of different roles,

24:29.788 --> 24:31.278
they play within the facility,

24:31.278 --> 24:32.998
but being a mother is not something

24:32.998 --> 24:34.788
day to day that gets acknowledged,

24:34.788 --> 24:37.408
so they take enormous pride in being

24:37.408 --> 24:39.245
on this list to be at this event

24:39.245 --> 24:41.616
because they are a mother, and you can\'t

24:41.616 --> 24:43.601
be on this list unless you\'re a mother.

24:44.882 --> 24:47.558
This is your day.

24:47.558 --> 24:49.308
I think they\'re very honored by it.

24:53.073 --> 24:55.156
- [Mother] It is so cold.

24:57.508 --> 24:59.948
I love your hair, it looks so nice, who did it?

24:59.948 --> 25:01.148
- I love you, (mumbles).

25:02.698 --> 25:04.708
Ma, Sally wants to meet you.

25:04.708 --> 25:06.818
My first Mother\'s Day with my mom

25:06.818 --> 25:08.748
since I\'ve been incarcerated, I started

25:08.748 --> 25:12.071
crying, she was like don\'t cry, don\'t be sad.

25:13.388 --> 25:16.258
My parents make sure I have everything I need.

25:16.258 --> 25:18.198
And I mean she practically drives herself

25:18.198 --> 25:20.668
crazy trying to appease these boys.

25:20.668 --> 25:22.348
To make sure they have everything,

25:22.348 --> 25:24.428
but that\'s not gonna replace the

25:24.428 --> 25:26.931
missing link in their life and it\'s me.

25:37.060 --> 25:38.105
- You didn\'t wanna wear this?

25:38.105 --> 25:38.938
- No.

25:38.938 --> 25:40.704
- Oh he didn\'t have to wear that.

25:40.704 --> 25:42.700
All right, he had to.

25:42.700 --> 25:46.700
- It\'s Mother\'s Day, they have to dress up nice.

25:52.298 --> 25:53.778
- Do I owe my mom?

25:53.778 --> 25:55.398
I owe her everything.

25:55.398 --> 25:56.810
I mean who best to raise a child

25:56.810 --> 25:59.138
but the person who raised you and gave

25:59.138 --> 26:01.748
you the morals and values of life,

26:01.748 --> 26:03.278
to pass it on to your children,

26:03.278 --> 26:05.901
I mean what person is best for that?

26:11.440 --> 26:12.940
- Very happy baby.

26:13.918 --> 26:18.048
She\'s very active and very very happy.

26:18.048 --> 26:19.988
- If you knew her before, you would

26:19.988 --> 26:22.238
see the big change in her now.

26:22.238 --> 26:25.318
She had a baby and that was her call

26:25.318 --> 26:28.968
to stop using drugs and selling drugs.

26:28.968 --> 26:31.798
And she sees what it\'s like to be a parent.

26:31.798 --> 26:33.648
I hope that she doesn\'t have to see

26:33.648 --> 26:35.741
everything that we\'ve seen as parents.

26:40.248 --> 26:42.244
- The whole prison has to be counted

26:42.244 --> 26:45.078
to make sure there\'s the same exact

26:45.078 --> 26:48.283
amount of inmates that were here.

26:48.283 --> 26:51.361
- Be good, be good, be good, be good.

27:04.010 --> 27:04.988
- It\'s a good day.

27:04.988 --> 27:05.969
(laughs)

27:05.969 --> 27:06.971
In the penitentiary.

27:09.758 --> 27:13.201
- Tomorrow you have to go back to being an inmate.

27:18.710 --> 27:22.793
(dramatic electric guitar music)

27:33.775 --> 27:35.658
- There are two purposes to prison.

27:35.658 --> 27:39.371
One is to punish and the other is to rehabilitate.

27:40.228 --> 27:44.398
The punishment, the loneliness, the isolation.

27:44.398 --> 27:46.011
They are with you all the time.

27:47.238 --> 27:50.468
And the visiting room is so bright and cheerful,

27:50.468 --> 27:53.838
and so is the Children\'s Center, but when you go up to

27:53.838 --> 27:58.351
your cells at night, you\'re in real, authentic cells.

27:59.688 --> 28:01.061
It\'s a very hard thing.

28:02.368 --> 28:04.288
There\'s a punitive side to prison

28:04.288 --> 28:07.161
that\'s always with you, always with you.

28:08.058 --> 28:08.981
And it\'s scary.

28:23.948 --> 28:25.308
- He was crying \'cause he miss his mom?

28:25.308 --> 28:26.648
- Yes.

28:26.648 --> 28:28.621
- His mom was right next to him.

28:29.671 --> 28:32.024
- Why was he crying?

28:32.024 --> 28:33.358
- It\'s not a jail, it\'s a school!

28:33.358 --> 28:35.215
- Hey girls, why was he crying?

28:37.508 --> 28:38.990
Okay, come on guys.

28:38.990 --> 28:41.073
Everybody walking please.

28:45.022 --> 28:47.522
- So what have you been doing?

28:50.745 --> 28:53.308
- Tanika could not come for this weekend

28:53.308 --> 28:55.848
because her cell was searched, they found

28:55.848 --> 28:58.228
something she wasn\'t supposed to have.

28:58.228 --> 29:01.348
I think that she had a piece of gum.

29:01.348 --> 29:03.768
Which is not allowed in the facility because

29:03.768 --> 29:07.318
gum can be used to jimmy a lock, to plug up

29:07.318 --> 29:10.718
a lock, there\'s lots of locks here obviously.

29:10.718 --> 29:12.268
She got a ticket.

29:12.268 --> 29:14.978
In other words it was a disciplinary infraction

29:14.978 --> 29:17.008
with Corrections, not through us,

29:17.008 --> 29:18.278
with the Department of Corrections.

29:18.278 --> 29:21.513
When a woman gets a ticket, she can\'t participate

29:21.513 --> 29:23.778
in the overnights, in the summer program,

29:23.778 --> 29:26.151
in any of these special programs.

29:27.188 --> 29:31.608
- A ticket is basically a violation of a rule.

29:31.608 --> 29:33.238
\'Cause there\'s a rule book here with a set

29:33.238 --> 29:35.141
of rules that you have to abide by.

29:36.038 --> 29:39.081
As a result you can be confined to your cell

29:39.081 --> 29:43.341
for 15 days, and you go outside for an hour.

29:44.438 --> 29:46.750
I was ashamed to talk to the boys about it

29:46.750 --> 29:49.158
\'cause I really didn\'t have an explanation

29:49.158 --> 29:52.118
except for what can I say, that\'s not a

29:52.118 --> 29:56.188
good explanation, especially for my children.

29:56.188 --> 29:57.678
What do you mean?

29:57.678 --> 30:00.388
\'Cause I know how they are, they\'d be like

30:00.388 --> 30:03.538
well ma, I don\'t understand, what do you mean?

30:03.538 --> 30:05.871
You always tell me because is not an answer.

30:08.418 --> 30:11.338
My parents been through hell and back.

30:11.338 --> 30:13.451
They didn\'t expect this of me.

30:22.748 --> 30:26.468
- It was December 20th, she was in a bar.

30:26.468 --> 30:28.664
There was this gentleman that\'s been

30:28.664 --> 30:31.121
in there all day, that had been drinking.

30:32.138 --> 30:34.981
He was fired from Walmart for using racial slurs.

30:36.108 --> 30:40.168
And my daughter was the only black in there at the time.

30:40.168 --> 30:44.285
And he, I guess, decided to take it out on Tanika.

30:44.285 --> 30:47.578
- [Tanika] He called me nigger bitch, nigger slut.

30:47.578 --> 30:48.671
I was scared.

30:49.578 --> 30:51.878
I asked the bartender if he could let

30:51.878 --> 30:55.408
me out a secondary exit and he told me no.

30:55.408 --> 30:57.238
I\'m like I\'m outta here, I\'m leaving,

30:57.238 --> 31:00.208
I\'m walking home, and the girl that I was with,

31:00.208 --> 31:02.998
she asked me if I was holding, meaning if

31:02.998 --> 31:05.348
I had a weapon, because I live in a

31:05.348 --> 31:07.638
crime-ridden area, and the walk to

31:07.638 --> 31:11.038
my house was maybe a good six, seven blocks.

31:11.038 --> 31:12.738
I told her no.

31:12.738 --> 31:13.941
She gave me a knife.

31:15.068 --> 31:17.468
- As she was leaving, he jumped in front of her.

31:18.425 --> 31:20.611
And she stabbed him near his neck.

31:22.218 --> 31:24.768
And he bled to death before he got to the hospital.

31:25.698 --> 31:28.288
My daughter didn\'t have no rap sheet.

31:28.288 --> 31:29.275
She would\'ve been something, believe me,

31:29.275 --> 31:31.208
let me tell you something about my

31:31.208 --> 31:33.698
daughter, my daughter was in college.

31:33.698 --> 31:35.508
I\'m not saying Tanika was an angel, she was far

31:35.508 --> 31:37.971
from being an angel, but she wasn\'t no killer.

31:40.809 --> 31:45.151
- I don\'t have the adequate words to describe it.

31:46.058 --> 31:46.891
I know it\'s bad.

31:48.082 --> 31:51.165
(rhythmic drum beat)

32:03.148 --> 32:05.228
My parents have done a wonderful

32:05.228 --> 32:07.438
job with Shariff and Kareem.

32:07.438 --> 32:11.668
They\'re so in tuned with their every movement.

32:11.668 --> 32:12.751
- Be careful, honey.

32:13.978 --> 32:14.811
Be careful.

32:16.058 --> 32:17.848
- [Ron] We\'ve learned a lot from...

32:17.848 --> 32:18.718
- [Virginia] Ours.

32:18.718 --> 32:20.858
- [Ron] That these two guys are not gonna

32:20.858 --> 32:22.508
get the opportunity to make the mistakes.

32:22.508 --> 32:23.421
- That\'s right.

32:24.558 --> 32:25.391
You have to--

32:25.391 --> 32:26.518
- Pay attention to them.

32:26.518 --> 32:27.583
- Little, any little thing.

32:27.583 --> 32:30.228
- Anything, don\'t sleep on nothing.

32:30.228 --> 32:31.528
- You can\'t.

32:31.528 --> 32:34.420
- If it\'s a thought, investigate the thought.

32:34.420 --> 32:36.758
Ain\'t no wondering, ain\'t no wondering,

32:36.758 --> 32:38.428
I wonder, ain\'t no wondering no more.

32:38.428 --> 32:40.078
Now it\'s stepping in and investigate.

32:40.078 --> 32:42.128
Call the school if you think something\'s going on.

32:42.128 --> 32:44.488
Check the bedroom out and see what\'s going on in there.

32:44.488 --> 32:46.408
Check the bag out if you need to check the bag.

32:46.408 --> 32:47.908
It\'s all just doing things with

32:47.908 --> 32:50.518
these guys that we didn\'t do with our own.

32:50.518 --> 32:53.078
It\'s like basically being...

32:53.078 --> 32:53.928
- [Virginia] A guard.

32:53.928 --> 32:54.788
- [Ron] Basically.

32:54.788 --> 32:58.850
- It\'s like frying chicken and putting a cover on it.

32:58.850 --> 33:00.658
\'Cause if you don\'t put the cover on

33:00.658 --> 33:02.521
that chicken, sometimes you get burned.

33:04.968 --> 33:06.318
- That\'s my mom, that\'s me.

33:07.418 --> 33:09.134
- [Interviewer] Where was that taken?

33:09.134 --> 33:09.967
- Bedford.

33:11.176 --> 33:14.593
(gentle xylophone music)

33:20.651 --> 33:22.281
- I\'ve probably been away for just

33:22.281 --> 33:24.231
as long as I lived in the street.

33:25.438 --> 33:27.360
I\'ll be 40 years old, I\'ve been away

33:27.360 --> 33:28.910
almost half of my life already.

33:31.078 --> 33:33.278
I never seen a cell phone.

33:33.278 --> 33:35.878
I never seen a CD player.

33:35.878 --> 33:36.711
DVD.

33:37.889 --> 33:40.178
Why do I live here?

33:40.178 --> 33:41.908
I live on what\'s called the honor unit.

33:41.908 --> 33:45.228
I have more privileges with more responsibilities.

33:45.228 --> 33:46.808
For example, everywhere else in the facility

33:46.808 --> 33:49.718
they lock in at 10:30, the cell doors lock.

33:49.718 --> 33:52.188
Whereas where I live, on weekdays we lock

33:52.188 --> 33:55.168
in at 12 AM, and on Fridays through Sunday

33:55.168 --> 33:58.066
we lock in at 1:30 in the morning.

33:58.066 --> 33:59.758
You have to be an exemplary inmate,

33:59.758 --> 34:01.781
no tickets, misbehave reports.

34:04.908 --> 34:07.148
I was a passenger in a hit and run vehicle.

34:07.148 --> 34:09.963
I wasn\'t driving, I have a co-defendant who\'s a male.

34:09.963 --> 34:12.941
Initially my trial was dismissed.

34:12.941 --> 34:15.278
It was remade in 1987 and they

34:15.278 --> 34:16.978
offered me 39 years, and I was

34:16.978 --> 34:19.181
like no way, it was like a lifetime.

34:22.058 --> 34:24.080
My son was 14 months old at the time

34:24.080 --> 34:27.098
and I went to trial and I got 20 years.

34:27.098 --> 34:28.298
I could\'ve plead guilty.

34:28.298 --> 34:32.488
In 1987 I could\'ve said yeah, you know, I\'m guilty.

34:32.488 --> 34:33.728
I knew the person was hit by

34:33.728 --> 34:36.178
the car and that\'s what happened

34:36.178 --> 34:38.328
and I would\'ve been home three years later.

34:39.698 --> 34:40.768
But it\'s just something I couldn\'t do,

34:40.768 --> 34:42.857
and I really believed in the system.

34:42.857 --> 34:44.778
And if you don\'t have OJ Simpson\'s money,

34:44.778 --> 34:47.214
or Robert Blake\'s money, or Dupont Harris money,

34:47.214 --> 34:50.600
you\'re gonna go to jail and that\'s just the way it is.

34:51.696 --> 34:54.785
Once you plead guilty you lose your rights to appeal.

34:56.268 --> 34:57.518
So I didn\'t plead guilty.

34:59.618 --> 35:01.491
I\'m not a murderer, you know?

35:02.892 --> 35:05.861
I was convicted depraved-indifference and that\'s not me.

35:07.338 --> 35:08.998
So I didn\'t plead guilty.

35:08.998 --> 35:11.678
So I could appeal it, find new undiscovered

35:11.678 --> 35:14.125
evidence and try to present myself

35:14.125 --> 35:15.248
and petition the courts for this

35:15.248 --> 35:18.098
imposition, which I\'ve been doing forever.

35:18.098 --> 35:19.771
I mean if I get out of here, if I ever

35:19.771 --> 35:22.018
get out here, I mean with the New York

35:22.018 --> 35:25.301
state laws, if you have a violent crime, that\'s it.

35:26.508 --> 35:27.541
Follow me please!

35:28.658 --> 35:31.248
I think the main thing is tough strength and

35:31.248 --> 35:34.598
believe and you have to have some kind of purpose.

35:34.598 --> 35:36.751
My purpose is helping other people.

35:38.658 --> 35:41.461
And as long as I\'m doing that I\'m okay.

35:42.658 --> 35:44.178
I\'m giving a little lesson very

35:44.178 --> 35:46.148
very quick, very very brief okay?

35:46.148 --> 35:47.878
What I want you to understand is

35:47.878 --> 35:49.635
this is not a photo album where you

35:49.635 --> 35:51.788
add a photo, you put the name, the date

35:51.788 --> 35:53.688
and the time, this is a memory book.

35:53.688 --> 35:56.668
This book is gonna be around a very long time.

35:56.668 --> 35:58.762
After you are long gone, okay?

35:58.762 --> 36:00.338
What I wanna express to you is that this is

36:00.338 --> 36:02.218
a connection between you and your children.

36:02.218 --> 36:03.508
It doesn\'t have to just be pictures,

36:03.508 --> 36:05.818
it could be reports, their achievement.

36:05.818 --> 36:06.908
Unfortunately we\'re all separated from

36:06.908 --> 36:09.338
our children, but it keeps a connection.

36:09.338 --> 36:10.858
So like a memory book, it\'s a whole thing

36:10.858 --> 36:12.638
of your lives together, it\'s a connection of

36:12.638 --> 36:14.368
your lives together even though you\'re separated.

36:14.368 --> 36:16.038
So don\'t forget the who, what, the where and when

36:16.038 --> 36:16.998
because when you\'re gone no one\'s

36:16.998 --> 36:19.258
gonna be around to tell anybody, okay?

36:19.258 --> 36:22.018
When I first came here I was like oh my God, 20 years.

36:22.018 --> 36:25.088
I was in shock for the first three years.

36:25.088 --> 36:26.351
I see such young ladies coming in

36:26.351 --> 36:29.271
and they got 75 to life, 50 to life.

36:30.279 --> 36:33.898
(mumbles) just a little bitty baby.

36:33.898 --> 36:35.018
I went through some baby stuff.

36:35.018 --> 36:36.461
Blue stuff, pens and stuff.

36:37.938 --> 36:40.548
And we grew up in this Children\'s Center.

36:40.548 --> 36:42.088
There are children that have

36:42.088 --> 36:44.418
kids now, that are married now.

36:44.418 --> 36:46.971
I was changing their diapers, you know what I\'m saying?

36:51.689 --> 36:53.278
This is where I write to my son.

36:53.278 --> 36:55.478
This is where he taught me how to play chess.

36:55.478 --> 36:58.838
This is where I hear about his first girlfriend.

36:58.838 --> 37:02.018
This is where I found out he lost his virginity.

37:02.018 --> 37:04.341
I mean this is a sacred place here.

37:12.317 --> 37:15.311
- Where\'s Anneathia Clanton?

37:15.311 --> 37:16.420
- Anneathia Clanton?

37:16.420 --> 37:18.338
- Yeah, Quanisha and Zayquana\'s mom.

37:18.338 --> 37:20.968
They\'ve been here since...

37:22.278 --> 37:23.288
9:30, 9 o\'clock.

37:23.288 --> 37:24.878
- Well why didn\'t y\'all tell someone?

37:24.878 --> 37:26.923
- We did, we\'ve told...

37:26.923 --> 37:28.435
- Officers out front? - Yeah.

37:28.435 --> 37:29.416
- Well let me go call for her.

37:29.416 --> 37:30.249
- Will you call?

37:30.249 --> 37:31.488
- What unit she live on, you know?

37:31.488 --> 37:32.321
- 120.

37:32.321 --> 37:33.154
120-D I think.

37:33.154 --> 37:33.987
- Okay.

37:35.218 --> 37:37.358
- [Bobby] Thanks, Miss Monroe.

37:37.358 --> 37:38.978
- We\'ll go first thing of the month and

37:38.978 --> 37:41.845
then between of the month and then the end.

37:41.845 --> 37:43.418
And we keep on doing that.

37:47.344 --> 37:49.678
Okay, when do we say happy birthday?

37:49.678 --> 37:51.128
Now?

37:51.128 --> 37:52.646
Now?

37:52.646 --> 37:56.201
Now?

37:56.201 --> 38:00.089
- Move the box.

38:00.089 --> 38:01.506
- [Zayquana] Now?

38:03.688 --> 38:06.598
- Our relationship is much stronger.

38:06.598 --> 38:09.122
I would even say just my incarceration period

38:09.122 --> 38:11.658
has made our relationship much stronger \'cause

38:11.658 --> 38:15.361
I don\'t take for granted that they\'re here now.

38:16.467 --> 38:19.040
- Are you one, are you two, are you three?

38:19.040 --> 38:19.873
Just blow it out.

38:19.873 --> 38:20.915
- I\'m too old for that.

38:20.915 --> 38:22.668
(laughter)

38:22.668 --> 38:23.788
- [Anneathia] Before it was like they\'re here,

38:23.788 --> 38:25.508
they\'re my kids, they\'re supposed

38:25.508 --> 38:27.498
to love me, I\'m their mother, but now

38:27.498 --> 38:30.018
just seeing them smile or knowing that they

38:30.018 --> 38:32.761
can read, just every little thing counts now.

38:37.318 --> 38:38.998
I don\'t think I had a really bad

38:38.998 --> 38:40.941
childhood, I just didn\'t have one.

38:43.008 --> 38:46.721
Drugs took away the childish, the innocence of everything.

38:49.028 --> 38:51.858
- She never really wanted to tell me anything bad.

38:51.858 --> 38:53.388
It\'s like she lived in this fantasy

38:53.388 --> 38:55.291
world, all happy happy stuff.

38:56.318 --> 38:58.588
We had the mother and daughter talks, but it was

38:58.588 --> 39:02.038
always, I can\'t never remember it being anything bad.

39:02.038 --> 39:04.184
It was all exciting stuff, it\'s like

39:04.184 --> 39:06.596
I put her in this fantasy world and

39:06.596 --> 39:08.671
we just never talked about the bad.

39:10.248 --> 39:12.378
Kindergarten, first grade, second grade,

39:12.378 --> 39:15.548
third grade, I think was pretty good.

39:15.548 --> 39:18.888
It wasn\'t, not a lot of drama in the house.

39:18.888 --> 39:22.571
But when we got to the fifth grade my addiction took off.

39:24.308 --> 39:26.208
Didn\'t know what to say to her.

39:26.208 --> 39:28.108
And she didn\'t know what to say to me.

39:29.708 --> 39:31.291
It was not good, you know?

39:32.348 --> 39:35.231
But then we just swept it under the carpet.

39:36.598 --> 39:37.848
- [Anneathia] My mom had stopped

39:37.848 --> 39:39.911
getting high when I got pregnant.

39:40.818 --> 39:42.398
I felt like I was free, so I was

39:42.398 --> 39:45.841
out of control, I was just out of control.

39:47.978 --> 39:49.928
I was caught up in the excitement of

39:49.928 --> 39:52.427
the streets, the fast life, and I was

39:52.427 --> 39:55.278
involved with another individual who\'s

39:55.278 --> 40:00.278
my co-defendant, and we shot and stabbed a man.

40:00.788 --> 40:03.631
It was a robbery gone bad.

40:06.998 --> 40:09.042
- I just can\'t picture her with a gun,

40:09.042 --> 40:11.928
or he had a gun, or just in that type

40:11.928 --> 40:14.878
of environment, I just did not, I can\'t,

40:14.878 --> 40:18.965
I still today, it just...

40:18.965 --> 40:20.858
I just can\'t see it.

40:20.858 --> 40:22.121
Not my baby.

40:26.458 --> 40:29.321
When I relapsed I signed the kids over to Elaine

40:29.321 --> 40:32.451
and my plans were just to go for a little while.

40:34.388 --> 40:37.338
- So by the time I got the kids, they was...

40:40.224 --> 40:41.057
It was a lot.

40:42.545 --> 40:43.975
It was a lot of work too, I mean I had

40:43.975 --> 40:46.308
to get a lot of people to help out and stuff.

40:46.308 --> 40:49.081
These girls, I ain\'t had girls.

40:51.148 --> 40:53.250
Especially the one that turned 13,

40:53.250 --> 40:56.228
I know what they mean by that.

40:56.228 --> 40:57.328
It\'s a lot of work.

40:57.328 --> 40:58.758
- I didn\'t wanna go with her, but I

40:58.758 --> 41:00.878
didn\'t wanna say nothing at the time because

41:00.878 --> 41:03.129
I always know how Aunt Elaine is (mumbles)

41:03.129 --> 41:05.255
used to make us go at Aunt Elaine\'s house

41:05.255 --> 41:06.848
for punishment, every time you do bad,

41:06.848 --> 41:08.438
that\'s how bad, we never wanted to stay there.

41:08.438 --> 41:10.038
That\'s a punishment, every time we do something bad

41:10.038 --> 41:13.458
we go stay with Aunt Elaine, that\'s how bad it was.

41:13.458 --> 41:17.705
So now we living with her, things got worser.

41:24.268 --> 41:28.428
- This one from Quanashia.

41:28.428 --> 41:31.798
Dear grandma, I just wanted to drop in to

41:31.798 --> 41:35.158
see how you were doing, so how are you doing?

41:35.158 --> 41:38.158
Me, I\'m okay, but I could be better.

41:38.158 --> 41:40.243
I love you with all my heart and

41:40.243 --> 41:42.428
hope that we will be together soon.

41:42.428 --> 41:44.005
Love Quanashia.

41:45.838 --> 41:50.838
It\'s gonna be okay, I feel good that it\'s gonna be okay.

41:51.148 --> 41:53.328
The bumps and bruises gonna come, but I know

41:53.328 --> 41:56.218
that if I stick with Narcotics Anonymous and

41:56.218 --> 42:00.008
my guy above, there\'s nothing I can fail really.

42:00.008 --> 42:01.658
There\'s nothing I can fail.

42:01.658 --> 42:04.331
We can break the cycle, we gonna break the cycle.

42:08.879 --> 42:12.546
(dramatic atmosphere music)

42:19.223 --> 42:20.565
- Ladies!

42:20.565 --> 42:22.854
All my inmates stand up!

42:22.854 --> 42:25.019
Come on, stand up.

42:25.019 --> 42:27.351
I want all my inmates to stand up.

42:27.351 --> 42:30.018
All my visitors please sit down.

42:33.197 --> 42:36.697
Please stand up, all the inmates stand up.

42:44.996 --> 42:46.163
- I hate that.

42:49.892 --> 42:50.725
- What\'s your last name?

42:50.725 --> 42:51.558
- Butwin.

42:51.558 --> 42:52.648
- Butwin?

42:52.648 --> 42:54.118
Issue number two, Butwin!

42:55.091 --> 42:57.716
- And you have a one year old girl.

42:57.716 --> 42:59.728
Most of the infant toys are over here,

42:59.728 --> 43:01.398
find something over here you can get her,

43:01.398 --> 43:03.448
again, three gifts plus a stuffed animal

43:03.448 --> 43:04.988
plus a cartoon videotape plus a

43:04.988 --> 43:06.688
Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders.

43:11.568 --> 43:14.331
These are the games, those are the crafts.

43:16.665 --> 43:18.378
Most of the boy stuff is over there.

43:18.378 --> 43:19.211
- All right.

43:20.578 --> 43:21.770
This one.

43:21.770 --> 43:23.278
I don\'t think my mom\'s gonna be too happy

43:23.278 --> 43:25.781
that she may have to end up stepping on

43:25.781 --> 43:28.348
these pieces, so I may have to hear a little

43:28.348 --> 43:31.888
something afterwards, but it\'s worth it.

43:31.888 --> 43:32.731
It\'s worth it.

43:33.788 --> 43:36.738
- If I pick out two stuffed animals and a toy, that\'s okay?

43:38.188 --> 43:39.468
- [Worker] Well the stuffed animal doesn\'t

43:39.468 --> 43:40.961
count as one of your three gifts.

43:40.961 --> 43:41.899
- Okay, but if I--

43:41.899 --> 43:42.732
- If you want an extra stuffed animal,

43:42.732 --> 43:45.246
since he\'s so small, he wouldn\'t count

43:45.246 --> 43:46.918
as one of your gifts, I would just let

43:46.918 --> 43:49.333
you have him \'cause I\'m just nice like that.

43:49.333 --> 43:51.988
(laughter)

43:51.988 --> 43:55.761
- Before I became incarcerated I was a very large addict.

43:57.068 --> 43:59.716
I started smoking marijuana when I was 10,

43:59.716 --> 44:01.717
and drinking, and I started using

44:01.717 --> 44:05.748
much harder drugs around the age of 12.

44:05.748 --> 44:07.408
I started with a little bit and

44:07.408 --> 44:10.568
it just got worse and worse and worse.

44:10.568 --> 44:14.978
Drugs took my life, they took most of my life, I should say.

44:14.978 --> 44:16.738
I\'m still alive, so they didn\'t take that,

44:16.738 --> 44:19.618
but that\'s about all it didn\'t take.

44:19.618 --> 44:21.168
I was probably only one step

44:21.168 --> 44:23.001
short of that had I not come here.

44:26.198 --> 44:27.498
- [Nancy] Again, one more!

44:30.188 --> 44:31.355
One more time!

44:32.398 --> 44:33.398
Blow, blow!

44:33.398 --> 44:37.711
Melissa is really very quiet and very shy.

44:38.618 --> 44:40.068
She was a good kid, if you told her

44:40.068 --> 44:42.450
to sit she sat, you told her to

44:42.450 --> 44:44.986
go over there she went over there.

44:44.986 --> 44:48.941
Basically I had no inkling of what was ahead.

44:49.988 --> 44:53.938
She attended gymnastics, she went to ballet school,

44:53.938 --> 44:57.293
she went to Hebrew school, she went to sleepaway camp.

44:57.293 --> 44:58.293
- I\'m seven.

44:59.609 --> 45:00.738
(Nancy laughing)

45:00.738 --> 45:03.468
Was just like any other kid.

45:03.468 --> 45:05.718
Got great grades in school, she was on

45:05.718 --> 45:08.011
Dean\'s List when she was in middle school.

45:09.268 --> 45:12.388
We didn\'t really know what she was doing.

45:12.388 --> 45:16.231
I had a feeling, but she denied everything.

45:17.068 --> 45:20.038
We weren\'t that close then, I was having

45:20.038 --> 45:22.498
a lot of problems, the more we thought

45:22.498 --> 45:24.188
Melissa was doing things wrong,

45:24.188 --> 45:27.361
the more I was alienating her.

45:28.868 --> 45:31.704
When she got arrested, she was with somebody

45:31.704 --> 45:34.315
and they decided to hold up a couple

45:34.315 --> 45:36.811
that were walking down the street for money.

45:37.758 --> 45:40.878
They didn\'t succeed and they ran and they

45:40.878 --> 45:44.211
were both caught and they\'re paying the price.

45:48.745 --> 45:50.598
- Everybody thinks prison is free.

45:50.598 --> 45:52.298
This has been a very expensive

45:52.298 --> 45:54.828
two years besides just two years.

45:54.828 --> 45:56.468
When you go to prison you figure okay,

45:56.468 --> 45:58.458
you get your clothes, you get your food,

45:58.458 --> 46:00.335
you get your this, you get your that.

46:00.335 --> 46:02.498
And they do to the bare minimal.

46:02.498 --> 46:05.068
- If you choose to eat the food in there,

46:05.068 --> 46:07.018
we wanted to make sure she ate healthy,

46:07.018 --> 46:09.300
she had things that she liked.

46:09.300 --> 46:12.079
- But it has to be packaged a certain way.

46:12.079 --> 46:14.378
It makes it very expensive.

46:14.378 --> 46:16.068
- And she has to call collect.

46:16.068 --> 46:18.380
- And it\'s a little costly.

46:18.380 --> 46:21.128
- Yeah, what was it, 16 cents a minute or something

46:21.128 --> 46:24.308
and like a $3 connect charge to say hello.

46:24.308 --> 46:26.328
- I try and remain cool, calm, and collect and

46:26.328 --> 46:29.801
understand basically prison saved my daughter\'s life.

46:31.380 --> 46:33.995
You can be ungrateful about a lot of things,

46:33.995 --> 46:38.401
but you gotta be grateful that something right happened.

46:40.308 --> 46:41.368
Besides that.

46:42.963 --> 46:45.963
(rhythmic drumming)

47:10.518 --> 47:11.628
- Sit down for a minute.

47:11.628 --> 47:13.281
Sit right here in my lap.

47:16.648 --> 47:20.358
- We\'re having a birthday party for Emma who\'s turning one

47:20.358 --> 47:22.548
and luckily staying here for a little while

47:22.548 --> 47:24.078
longer \'cause her mother will be

47:24.078 --> 47:26.821
released before her 18 month mark.

47:28.058 --> 47:30.858
These are the most important events in the nursery.

47:30.858 --> 47:32.328
Because we get to mark the baby\'s

47:32.328 --> 47:34.148
first birthday which is huge, which is

47:34.148 --> 47:36.248
so important to every mother, but we also

47:36.248 --> 47:39.038
get to mark the mother\'s year on the nursery

47:39.038 --> 47:42.221
and her progress that she\'s been able to make.

47:48.445 --> 47:52.028
♪ Happy birthday dear Emma ♪

47:55.288 --> 47:56.431
- This is the quilt.

47:58.041 --> 48:00.061
Been working on it forever.

48:01.788 --> 48:06.788
And on the back it says to Emma, Love Tonia and Amy.

48:08.648 --> 48:11.545
- Just thought it would be a nice homemade gift for her.

48:11.545 --> 48:13.300
- [Interviewer] How long did it take?

48:13.300 --> 48:14.308
- It took quite a while.

48:14.308 --> 48:16.208
Our friend Tonia who\'s an ex-nursery mother

48:16.208 --> 48:17.795
did all the squares on the front, and then

48:17.795 --> 48:20.368
I did the back, and our friend Leanne

48:20.368 --> 48:23.138
was the one that put the love Tonia and Amy.

48:25.488 --> 48:27.998
- I\'m almost done, I\'m almost home.

48:27.998 --> 48:29.748
I got four more months left.

48:29.748 --> 48:32.298
A little under four months now.

48:32.298 --> 48:35.431
Been here about 16 or 17 months already.

48:36.947 --> 48:38.938
And Emma\'s a year, so it\'ll be one

48:38.938 --> 48:41.241
week short of 16 months when she goes home.

48:43.218 --> 48:44.668
- Jacob, what new song is out?

48:44.668 --> 48:45.818
I know you should know.

48:48.258 --> 48:49.650
You know what song I like?

48:49.650 --> 48:50.483
- What?

48:50.483 --> 48:51.848
- I like Mary J. Blige\'s new song.

48:51.848 --> 48:53.761
- Oh we heard that in the car on the way down.

48:54.988 --> 48:55.821
- How\'s school?

48:56.749 --> 48:57.582
- [Shariff] Bad.

48:57.582 --> 48:58.988
- What do you mean bad?

48:58.988 --> 49:00.346
- [Shariff] I got suspended.

49:00.346 --> 49:02.148
- Shariff got suspended.

49:02.148 --> 49:03.438
- Not Shariff.

49:03.438 --> 49:04.681
- Look at his eyes.

49:05.738 --> 49:06.688
- Your mommy knows?

49:07.998 --> 49:10.065
About to find out now isn\'t she?

49:27.638 --> 49:31.085
- Shariff, he\'s 12, and Kareem\'s 10

49:31.085 --> 49:33.688
and they\'re night and day, totally opposite.

49:33.688 --> 49:37.078
Kareem, he keeps a lot of things inside,

49:37.078 --> 49:40.195
but it doesn\'t change how I feel for him.

49:42.148 --> 49:45.091
But Shariff, he\'s just total opposite.

49:46.568 --> 49:49.418
He\'s having growing pains and I\'m not too happy about it.

49:51.238 --> 49:53.798
Shariff got into a fight in school.

49:53.798 --> 49:56.858
I don\'t perceive him to be an aggressive child.

49:56.858 --> 49:58.038
He picks with his brother and

49:58.038 --> 50:00.281
his cousin but that\'s expected.

50:03.068 --> 50:05.668
Very upset about it because he\'s suspended

50:05.668 --> 50:08.818
for two days and he got this mark on his face

50:08.818 --> 50:11.518
and he\'s already having trouble with math

50:11.518 --> 50:14.411
in school and he needs to be there.

50:17.538 --> 50:19.818
- [Sally] Has Shariff been behaving himself now?

50:19.818 --> 50:21.048
- Yeah, definitely.

50:21.048 --> 50:24.108
Over the spring recess, Mr. De Palma

50:24.108 --> 50:26.078
the math teacher offered extra credit

50:26.078 --> 50:28.438
and Shariff took it up on himself--

50:28.438 --> 50:29.978
- [Sally] To do something, oh excellent.

50:29.978 --> 50:33.861
- He said it was like 400 and something questions.

50:35.198 --> 50:36.638
And he did it, he completed it.

50:36.638 --> 50:38.608
I said okay, I said I\'m proud of you,

50:38.608 --> 50:40.899
I said that\'s what I\'m talking about.

50:40.899 --> 50:42.878
That\'s what I\'m talking, anything to lift

50:42.878 --> 50:46.247
his grade up, so there\'s no room for debate.

50:46.247 --> 50:47.080
(phone rings)

50:47.080 --> 50:49.078
- This is probably them, hopefully it is.

50:50.218 --> 50:52.218
Hello, Sally Fey.

50:52.218 --> 50:55.728
Oh hi, I\'m her advocate, we\'re here waiting for you.

50:55.728 --> 50:59.238
Well I\'m going to put you on speaker here okay?

50:59.238 --> 51:00.881
Now can you hear me?

51:00.881 --> 51:01.714
- [De Palma] Yes I can.

51:01.714 --> 51:02.547
- Okay.

51:03.713 --> 51:05.916
Can you hear me now?

51:05.916 --> 51:06.749
- [De Palma] Yeah.

51:06.749 --> 51:08.478
- Okay great, let me introduce you.

51:08.478 --> 51:10.285
Mr. De Palma, this is Tanika,

51:10.285 --> 51:12.924
Tanika Dickson, Shariff\'s mother.

51:12.924 --> 51:14.802
- Good morning.

51:14.802 --> 51:18.885
(dramatic acoustic guitar music)

51:51.700 --> 51:53.018
- [Bobby] How\'d it go?

51:53.018 --> 51:54.524
- Well she got mixed reviews.

51:54.524 --> 51:55.508
(laughter)

51:55.508 --> 51:59.395
- Yeah, I mean my panties are in a bunch, I\'m not gonna lie.

52:00.558 --> 52:03.998
The math teacher, I made mention of the extra credit.

52:03.998 --> 52:06.088
He said he did part of it.

52:06.088 --> 52:09.285
I said he did partial, ah, shot to my heart.

52:09.285 --> 52:11.243
- He said a lot of kids gave him this

52:11.243 --> 52:13.438
thinking they could do the extra credit,

52:13.438 --> 52:15.438
they all came in and said we didn\'t finish

52:15.438 --> 52:18.028
and he said well tough noogies, you don\'t get it.

52:18.028 --> 52:19.668
The math teacher was first and he was

52:19.668 --> 52:22.326
like well he\'s actually failing,

52:22.326 --> 52:25.800
might fail the class, but he said

52:25.800 --> 52:28.398
that he\'s smart and he knows \'cause

52:28.398 --> 52:29.908
he got a 90 on a quiz, he said I

52:29.908 --> 52:31.138
gave him a quiz, he got a 90,

52:31.138 --> 52:32.868
so he\'s just not doing the homework.

52:32.868 --> 52:34.488
Just not doing the homework.

52:34.488 --> 52:35.908
You have to take the good with the bad

52:35.908 --> 52:38.995
and also with kids figure out your strategy

52:38.995 --> 52:42.668
so that it\'s accepted and received.

52:42.668 --> 52:46.388
- I wanna put my influence on Shariff.

52:47.348 --> 52:48.181
- [Bobby] If he was here right

52:48.181 --> 52:50.798
now he\'d be in one big trouble, boy.

52:50.798 --> 52:52.318
- It\'s a good thing he isn\'t because

52:52.318 --> 52:54.228
the hammer would come down so hard,

52:54.228 --> 52:56.798
I\'m saying hold on, I know what that feels like.

52:56.798 --> 52:59.778
(laughter)

52:59.778 --> 53:01.478
- [Rosa] I hate to do this, but...

53:01.478 --> 53:02.645
- Draw four.

53:02.645 --> 53:03.851
(laughter)

53:03.851 --> 53:06.458
Okay, wait wait wait.

53:06.458 --> 53:09.677
- Joey\'s my first born, he\'s 10 years old.

53:09.677 --> 53:12.848
He\'s a very, I don\'t want to say a good boy,

53:12.848 --> 53:15.858
he\'s very emotional, he\'s very well-mannered.

53:15.858 --> 53:18.378
I could just go and on saying about my Joey.

53:18.378 --> 53:20.558
- I might be the only person that

53:20.558 --> 53:23.641
doesn\'t have my mom with me at school maybe,

53:24.508 --> 53:26.718
but even though she\'s not there with me,

53:26.718 --> 53:29.675
I know she\'s with me in my heart

53:29.675 --> 53:30.508
and that I will never forget about her.

53:33.368 --> 53:35.701
My grandmother, she\'s strict, she\'s like you

53:35.701 --> 53:40.661
have to go to bed now, not five minutes later, now.

53:41.563 --> 53:43.468
And then my mother\'s like you can go

53:43.468 --> 53:46.201
to sleep in five minutes, 10 minutes more.

53:50.668 --> 53:51.915
- Much different.

53:54.499 --> 53:55.332
- No.

53:57.638 --> 54:00.918
My grandmother is very strict, but I also think

54:00.918 --> 54:03.980
it\'s a good thing because if I have a problem,

54:03.980 --> 54:07.528
or when I have a parent/teacher conference,

54:07.528 --> 54:10.278
she\'s always there to help me and she

54:10.278 --> 54:12.358
stands behind me while I\'m doing my

54:12.358 --> 54:14.358
homework, I have questions, she\'s there.

54:19.208 --> 54:21.958
- Can everybody please put their pencils down in slant?

54:27.188 --> 54:30.738
In 10 minutes you breathe about 180 times.

54:30.738 --> 54:32.898
- Joey\'s doing very good in school.

54:32.898 --> 54:34.108
The principal said that I should be

54:34.108 --> 54:36.418
very proud of my son, he\'s very articulate,

54:36.418 --> 54:38.748
he\'s very compassionate and concerned

54:38.748 --> 54:40.848
for his other classmates which really

54:40.848 --> 54:42.199
made me feel good and made me feel that

54:42.199 --> 54:44.528
although I left him when he was five,

54:44.528 --> 54:46.408
he still have a lot of things that

54:46.408 --> 54:48.698
I\'ve instilled in him, so I know with

54:48.698 --> 54:51.488
what I\'m doing in here, and what my mom

54:51.488 --> 54:53.733
is doing out there has paid off.

54:53.733 --> 54:55.218
- Go ahead.

54:55.218 --> 54:57.057
♪ You look and you find ♪

54:57.057 --> 54:59.095
♪ Positive three on the number line ♪

54:59.095 --> 55:00.849
♪ Put a dot there after that ♪

55:00.849 --> 55:02.814
♪ You know the game, checks the sides ♪

55:02.814 --> 55:04.448
♪ In the middle, are they (mumbles) same ♪

55:04.448 --> 55:05.798
- [Joe] Let\'s try it again.

55:06.785 --> 55:08.718
- To overcome the situation of my mother

55:08.718 --> 55:11.248
going to jail, I just become humorous

55:11.248 --> 55:13.838
and make people laugh and become the

55:13.838 --> 55:16.838
lovable kid that everybody wants to be around.

55:16.838 --> 55:19.163
- There are very few kids like Joey at our school.

55:19.163 --> 55:22.028
If there\'s a table, this is the age where

55:22.028 --> 55:24.504
it\'s boys, girls, it\'ll be boys and

55:24.504 --> 55:27.568
it\'ll be girls and Joey in the middle.

55:27.568 --> 55:29.358
He\'ll have the girls in stitches and all

55:29.358 --> 55:30.551
the boys will be looking over like

55:30.551 --> 55:33.508
man I wish I could be like him.

55:33.508 --> 55:36.628
Kids in this school look up to Joey,

55:36.628 --> 55:38.998
and being able to tell him look, Joey,

55:38.998 --> 55:41.138
you have charisma, you have charm,

55:41.138 --> 55:43.058
and then he goes I have good looks too,

55:43.058 --> 55:45.008
and I\'m like all right Joey, slow down.

55:46.468 --> 55:48.388
He\'s told me a lot about what\'s happened

55:48.388 --> 55:51.078
with his mother and with his writing class.

55:51.078 --> 55:53.318
He wrote about some of the things that

55:53.318 --> 55:55.241
have happened in his past, and after Joey

55:55.241 --> 55:57.838
shared those instances another child opened up

55:57.838 --> 55:59.733
and said I have two older brothers in jail

55:59.733 --> 56:02.431
and I\'m afraid I\'m gonna be the next one.

56:05.518 --> 56:08.475
- I don\'t let my mother\'s situation affect me

56:08.475 --> 56:11.496
because that\'s not gonna help me be successful,

56:11.496 --> 56:13.718
that\'s just gonna pull me back.

56:13.718 --> 56:16.548
The past is the past, but the past also travels

56:16.548 --> 56:18.921
with you through the present and the future.

56:33.878 --> 56:36.738
- I\'m getting the impression that it\'s too many changes.

56:36.738 --> 56:38.208
Where would I go, how would I keep them,

56:38.208 --> 56:40.158
who\'s gonna babysit when I work nights?

56:42.898 --> 56:45.095
So I gotta get some, I feel like I

56:45.095 --> 56:47.421
gotta get some notarized letters.

56:49.018 --> 56:50.888
But it all gonna come down to you.

56:50.888 --> 56:53.261
You gonna be the ultimate one that says.

56:54.108 --> 56:54.961
Yes you are.

56:55.918 --> 56:57.008
- Say what?

56:57.008 --> 56:59.598
- What\'s the outcome gonna be and how you feel about it.

56:59.598 --> 57:01.738
You know that I have to be in a house

57:01.738 --> 57:03.638
with an address in order to get the kids.

57:03.638 --> 57:04.798
- [Aunt Elaine] Yup.

57:04.798 --> 57:06.248
- Okay.

57:06.248 --> 57:07.441
They not gonna give them to me if I

57:07.441 --> 57:09.448
don\'t have a definite place for them

57:09.448 --> 57:11.288
to stay, I need to find a stable

57:11.288 --> 57:12.958
house, I don\'t know what they want.

57:12.958 --> 57:14.681
The thing is I need to find a house

57:14.681 --> 57:16.498
that they can agree with so they

57:16.498 --> 57:18.988
can stay there to start school.

57:18.988 --> 57:20.468
I can do that, I can do that.

57:20.468 --> 57:22.540
Might not be the funnest Fridays when

57:22.540 --> 57:24.768
I want, but I know I can get a place in there.

57:24.768 --> 57:26.580
They\'ve got some good charter schools up there.

57:26.580 --> 57:27.413
- Oh do they?

57:27.413 --> 57:28.728
- I filled in the paperwork, I sent

57:28.728 --> 57:31.078
the applications in, they\'re accepted up there.

57:42.038 --> 57:44.528
I\'m here to find out if I get them, if I don\'t

57:44.528 --> 57:46.878
get them, I wanna find out when I can see them.

57:48.212 --> 57:49.545
- Okay, Clanton?

57:59.548 --> 58:01.135
- He has to get to know me, he\'s just not sure--

58:01.135 --> 58:02.228
- He was mean?

58:02.228 --> 58:03.324
- No.

58:03.324 --> 58:04.157
- Don\'t lie, was he mean?

58:04.157 --> 58:06.448
- No, I just figured that he should

58:06.448 --> 58:07.798
be all right with me, he don\'t have

58:07.798 --> 58:09.448
to know me, and that\'s not the case.

58:09.448 --> 58:11.328
He\'s a judge, he has to make sure

58:11.328 --> 58:13.530
that if he pass you down to me

58:13.530 --> 58:15.518
that I\'m the right person for you, I\'m not

58:15.518 --> 58:17.738
gonna kill you, choke you and shit like that.

58:17.738 --> 58:18.588
- He probably was mean.

58:18.588 --> 58:20.648
- No, no he wasn\'t.

58:20.648 --> 58:24.098
The thing is when it happens, you listening?

58:24.098 --> 58:24.931
- Yeah.

58:24.931 --> 58:27.598
- \'Cause you might not can come back right away.

58:27.598 --> 58:29.008
They gotta give him a letter and he

58:29.008 --> 58:30.775
might be there with the next hearing.

58:30.775 --> 58:32.615
- [Zayquana Voiceover] It stress you out sometimes

58:32.615 --> 58:35.088
that she went on drugs, but you can\'t be like

58:35.088 --> 58:36.688
you did this, you did that, you just

58:36.688 --> 58:38.251
need to just put that in the past.

58:39.208 --> 58:40.766
I\'m willing to give her a second chance

58:40.766 --> 58:43.381
because you gotta forgive to move on.

58:54.018 --> 58:56.188
- [Interviewer] What does that letter mean?

58:56.188 --> 58:57.609
- I\'m staying with her.

58:57.609 --> 58:59.859
(chuckles)

59:01.758 --> 59:03.367
- Right.

59:03.367 --> 59:06.867
(upbeat kalisto drumming)

59:18.757 --> 59:20.048
(laughter)

59:20.048 --> 59:20.881
- Wait, wait.

59:24.344 --> 59:25.610
What do you think?

59:25.610 --> 59:26.796
- Nice.

59:26.796 --> 59:27.629
- I know.

59:27.629 --> 59:29.311
Put my flowers over here.

59:32.048 --> 59:34.298
Glad it\'s not on the second floor.

59:36.681 --> 59:37.938
I don\'t feel so bad about this

59:37.938 --> 59:39.751
journey now that it\'s almost over.

59:42.608 --> 59:45.711
I\'m trying to be optimistic, I guess that\'s the word to say.

59:46.608 --> 59:47.878
\'Cause them people gonna give her

59:47.878 --> 59:49.908
a whole lot of tools to come home with

59:49.908 --> 59:52.611
and I just want her to be able to use them.

59:53.845 --> 59:55.141
I wasn\'t even expecting to get

59:55.141 --> 59:57.238
a new refrigerator and stove.

59:57.238 --> 59:58.588
New refrigerator and stove.

59:58.588 --> 59:59.438
- And it works.

59:59.438 --> 01:00:01.678
- And it works, yes it does.

01:00:01.678 --> 01:00:04.468
\'Cause this is gonna be your room for a while.

01:00:04.468 --> 01:00:08.878
We haven\'t had a porch in a long, long time.

01:00:08.878 --> 01:00:10.626
Not even a yard huh?

01:00:10.626 --> 01:00:12.800
(dog barking)

01:00:12.800 --> 01:00:13.938
We got a little neighbor though,

01:00:13.938 --> 01:00:16.674
but I think he\'ll be all right.

01:00:16.674 --> 01:00:18.758
That\'s a big house.

01:00:18.758 --> 01:00:20.898
When she comes home, I hope that we

01:00:20.898 --> 01:00:22.088
can stay together for a couple

01:00:22.088 --> 01:00:23.408
of years or a year and a half,

01:00:23.408 --> 01:00:24.858
something like that, just to get her

01:00:24.858 --> 01:00:27.698
comfortable in a house full of furniture.

01:00:27.698 --> 01:00:28.888
And then I\'m going.

01:00:28.888 --> 01:00:31.638
I\'m not going far \'cause I\'m not gonna leave the girls.

01:00:33.538 --> 01:00:36.388
I wanna see her raise her two girls

01:00:36.388 --> 01:00:38.078
\'cause that\'s all she\'d talk about was her

01:00:38.078 --> 01:00:40.601
two girls and her two girls talk about her.

01:00:50.828 --> 01:00:52.318
- This is Emma\'s room.

01:00:52.318 --> 01:00:53.708
Well we\'ll now call it Emma\'s room

01:00:53.708 --> 01:00:55.908
even though Melissa still have to live here.

01:00:57.907 --> 01:00:59.788
We had the room painted, we had

01:00:59.788 --> 01:01:02.031
border put up around the whole room.

01:01:03.375 --> 01:01:06.608
And I have to show you this, her friends in

01:01:06.608 --> 01:01:09.408
prison made this for Emma for her first birthday.

01:01:09.408 --> 01:01:11.188
So that she\'ll feel that she still has

01:01:11.188 --> 01:01:13.688
part of her other home with her.

01:01:13.688 --> 01:01:17.968
Somebody else in there that\'s croqueting a blanket for Emma.

01:01:17.968 --> 01:01:19.148
It should be ready just about the

01:01:19.148 --> 01:01:21.061
same day she\'s ready to come home.

01:01:22.218 --> 01:01:24.958
We\'re stacked for diapers and wipes.

01:01:24.958 --> 01:01:29.958
We have 454 diapers and we have 2,100 wipes.

01:01:30.648 --> 01:01:34.358
Her car seat is ready, it\'s going in the car this week.

01:01:34.358 --> 01:01:36.138
Oh, and then this is the best.

01:01:36.138 --> 01:01:37.538
Ready to Me Grandma.

01:01:37.538 --> 01:01:38.761
I don\'t know if I\'ll ever use it or read

01:01:38.761 --> 01:01:41.891
to her, I guess I will, but I like the title.

01:01:42.838 --> 01:01:45.228
Then we have more clothes, okay don\'t

01:01:45.228 --> 01:01:46.928
take a picture of my messy closet.

01:01:47.988 --> 01:01:49.788
Oh we have jackets galore.

01:01:49.788 --> 01:01:51.798
We\'re very big on bargains.

01:01:51.798 --> 01:01:52.828
- [Jules] You\'re big on pink.

01:01:52.828 --> 01:01:54.768
- Well no, Melissa hated pink.

01:01:54.768 --> 01:01:56.758
Most things come in pink, so we have

01:01:56.758 --> 01:01:58.628
a jacket for next winter and a jacket for

01:01:58.628 --> 01:02:01.031
the spring and another one for the spring.

01:02:02.207 --> 01:02:03.625
I have you show you my (mumbles).

01:02:04.608 --> 01:02:06.458
I\'m mortified to tell you how much it is,

01:02:06.458 --> 01:02:09.878
but I\'m very proud, Judy and I found this.

01:02:09.878 --> 01:02:11.708
In the (mumbles) shop.

01:02:11.708 --> 01:02:14.631
It was marked $12 from 40, and when I went

01:02:14.631 --> 01:02:17.518
to go pay for it the woman said to me

01:02:17.518 --> 01:02:19.945
oh it\'s not $12 and I said oh okay,

01:02:19.945 --> 01:02:22.798
but I\'ll buy it anyway, and she said it\'s six.

01:02:22.798 --> 01:02:24.608
But don\'t tell anybody my granddaughter\'s

01:02:24.608 --> 01:02:25.866
wearing such a cheap dress.

01:02:25.866 --> 01:02:28.028
(giggles)

01:02:28.028 --> 01:02:32.381
And we already started Hanukkah shopping for next December.

01:02:33.378 --> 01:02:35.491
We\'re just a little ahead of the game.

01:02:36.378 --> 01:02:37.251
That\'s about it.

01:02:40.515 --> 01:02:43.208
- [Trish] What you wanna be, Jacob?

01:02:43.208 --> 01:02:44.558
What you wanna be when you grow up?

01:02:44.558 --> 01:02:45.902
- I wanna be a police.

01:02:45.902 --> 01:02:47.781
Arrest you, arrest you, and arrest

01:02:47.781 --> 01:02:50.477
everybody else in the whole world.

01:02:50.477 --> 01:02:53.658
- I wanna become a singer or a lawyer.

01:02:53.658 --> 01:02:54.491
- And you?

01:02:56.088 --> 01:02:57.828
Oh you wanna play basketball, don\'t worry,

01:02:57.828 --> 01:02:59.678
we\'re gonna sit in the front row

01:02:59.678 --> 01:03:01.219
clapping and cheering you up.

01:03:01.219 --> 01:03:03.657
Hey basketball player!

01:03:03.657 --> 01:03:06.477
Just make sure we get a free front seat.

01:03:06.477 --> 01:03:09.894
(rhythmic bass thumping)

01:03:29.044 --> 01:03:32.211
- There\'s no handbook that comes with parenting.

01:03:34.238 --> 01:03:35.958
And I\'ve learned with my boys

01:03:35.958 --> 01:03:37.728
I have to meet them wherever they\'re at.

01:03:37.728 --> 01:03:40.038
As young men I can\'t force them to be

01:03:40.038 --> 01:03:42.612
where I want them to be, I have to meet

01:03:42.612 --> 01:03:45.608
Kareem where he\'s at at 13 years old.

01:03:45.608 --> 01:03:47.788
I have to meet Shariff where he\'s at

01:03:47.788 --> 01:03:51.009
about to be 15 years old, and not only

01:03:51.009 --> 01:03:53.335
am I growing and connecting the bond

01:03:53.335 --> 01:03:56.778
with my boys, but my parents are growing too.

01:03:56.778 --> 01:03:58.668
I don\'t think I told y\'all about this

01:03:58.668 --> 01:04:01.398
\'cause it was embarrassing, I play ball,

01:04:01.398 --> 01:04:04.443
my boys are ball players, when the time

01:04:04.443 --> 01:04:07.188
comes for the visit I\'m the first

01:04:07.188 --> 01:04:09.508
one out there, come on, let\'s play ball.

01:04:09.508 --> 01:04:10.878
And I have a little sweat on them.

01:04:10.878 --> 01:04:14.038
He was like you need a better bra.

01:04:14.038 --> 01:04:15.340
I was like what?

01:04:15.340 --> 01:04:18.236
(laughter)

01:04:18.236 --> 01:04:20.848
That made me see that he\'s looking at girls now,

01:04:20.848 --> 01:04:25.249
so it\'s like uh-uh, my mom\'s a girl too, like...

01:04:25.249 --> 01:04:26.295
- Yeah, why she got (mumbles).

01:04:27.698 --> 01:04:30.721
They are very watchful little people.

01:04:32.248 --> 01:04:33.988
- Moving right along because we are

01:04:33.988 --> 01:04:36.056
trying to graduate, right ladies?

01:04:36.056 --> 01:04:36.889
(laughs)

01:04:36.889 --> 01:04:37.722
Okay.

01:04:37.722 --> 01:04:40.268
I just think that anybody that\'s a mother

01:04:40.268 --> 01:04:43.449
could benefit from this program, from particularly

01:04:43.449 --> 01:04:45.308
this one, Parenting From a Distance,

01:04:45.308 --> 01:04:47.808
because it\'s so intense, it makes you

01:04:47.808 --> 01:04:50.838
look at things that you don\'t wanna look at.

01:04:50.838 --> 01:04:54.448
- Like I said, I\'ve never been in an abusive relationship.

01:04:54.448 --> 01:04:58.568
- Wait, wait, abuse comes in all forms, my love.

01:04:58.568 --> 01:05:01.038
Verbal, mental.

01:05:01.038 --> 01:05:02.562
- [Inmate] None of that.

01:05:02.562 --> 01:05:03.729
- Emotionally.

01:05:04.978 --> 01:05:06.018
- [Inmate] Emotionally.

01:05:06.018 --> 01:05:07.228
- Okay, come on now.

01:05:07.228 --> 01:05:08.798
And you know them saying it\'s them things that

01:05:08.798 --> 01:05:10.048
you don\'t wanna look at that could

01:05:10.048 --> 01:05:11.888
make a difference in your parents

01:05:11.888 --> 01:05:15.905
and your children now, you know what I mean?

01:05:16.838 --> 01:05:20.047
I\'m not an expert in parenting from prison,

01:05:20.047 --> 01:05:22.428
but I\'ve gained a lot of knowledge.

01:05:22.428 --> 01:05:26.358
I\'ve gained a lot of understanding, compassion.

01:05:26.358 --> 01:05:28.169
- I look up to y\'all because y\'all

01:05:28.169 --> 01:05:32.901
are women that have teenage kids.

01:05:35.818 --> 01:05:37.081
Y\'all holding it down, y\'all not

01:05:37.081 --> 01:05:40.888
getting In the negativity of this environment.

01:05:40.888 --> 01:05:43.238
- As a facilitator I want the women to know

01:05:43.238 --> 01:05:46.318
that through your experiences here you can

01:05:46.318 --> 01:05:49.018
gain a vast amount of knowledge not only

01:05:49.018 --> 01:05:50.638
as a woman, but as a mother because

01:05:50.638 --> 01:05:52.778
we\'re surrounded by women, you know what

01:05:52.778 --> 01:05:54.428
I mean, and each and every one of us

01:05:54.428 --> 01:05:57.688
carry with us our own unique personalities

01:05:57.688 --> 01:06:01.591
and attributes that can help shape our children.

01:06:02.859 --> 01:06:06.609
(dramatic bass guitar music)

01:06:38.416 --> 01:06:40.089
- [Melissa Voiceover] To see the outside of those

01:06:40.089 --> 01:06:43.841
gates instead of the inside was so overwhelming.

01:06:50.648 --> 01:06:51.760
- I\'m so happy.

01:06:51.760 --> 01:06:54.088
I didn\'t cry this much when you went in.

01:06:54.088 --> 01:06:55.421
Oh I\'m so happy.

01:06:56.863 --> 01:06:59.018
- Even though I didn\'t have such a long sentence,

01:06:59.018 --> 01:07:00.457
I tried real hard not to think about

01:07:00.457 --> 01:07:01.998
going home because it just made

01:07:01.998 --> 01:07:03.898
my time feel so much longer if

01:07:03.898 --> 01:07:06.018
I would think about it, you know?

01:07:06.018 --> 01:07:07.938
I was there for almost two years

01:07:07.938 --> 01:07:11.061
and it felt like I was never gonna leave.

01:07:12.778 --> 01:07:14.618
Then it was like oh my God, now here it is

01:07:14.618 --> 01:07:17.138
and I\'m really not gonna be here anymore.

01:07:17.138 --> 01:07:18.351
- Now she\'s ours.

01:07:19.438 --> 01:07:20.288
We\'re taking her.

01:07:23.448 --> 01:07:27.051
- I always feel like one of my children is leaving me.

01:07:27.948 --> 01:07:29.098
I always feel that way.

01:07:33.078 --> 01:07:34.808
I hope the best for her \'cause we

01:07:34.808 --> 01:07:36.818
put a tremendous amount of energy

01:07:36.818 --> 01:07:39.642
into nurturing and supporting and it\'s

01:07:39.642 --> 01:07:42.375
a very intimate relationship, it\'s like

01:07:42.375 --> 01:07:44.638
when you would be there for your daughter

01:07:44.638 --> 01:07:45.738
and you would be helping your daughter

01:07:45.738 --> 01:07:47.348
raise one of her babies, and so when

01:07:47.348 --> 01:07:50.751
they leave you gotta say goodbye, it\'s over.

01:07:51.618 --> 01:07:54.901
It\'s not our turn anymore, it\'s their turn, it\'s her turn.

01:07:56.331 --> 01:07:57.164
It\'s difficult.

01:07:58.246 --> 01:08:00.779
You know if you need me, you know where to find me.

01:08:00.779 --> 01:08:01.779
- Thank you.

01:08:02.738 --> 01:08:03.571
- Don\'t hesitate.

01:08:03.571 --> 01:08:04.404
- I won\'t.

01:08:04.404 --> 01:08:05.237
- Anything.

01:08:05.237 --> 01:08:06.737
- Okay, thank you.

01:08:07.877 --> 01:08:09.044
Thanks, Bobby.

01:08:12.427 --> 01:08:13.260
- Do good.

01:08:13.260 --> 01:08:14.093
- I will.

01:08:16.023 --> 01:08:18.273
(car revs)

01:08:45.689 --> 01:08:49.023
(dramatic violin music)

01:09:01.358 --> 01:09:03.548
- The reason I was transferred, when you\'re

01:09:03.548 --> 01:09:06.258
doing 15 years to life, 25 years to life,

01:09:06.258 --> 01:09:08.008
you\'re automatically sentenced to a

01:09:08.008 --> 01:09:09.548
maximum security prison, which Bedford

01:09:09.548 --> 01:09:11.300
is the only one in New York state.

01:09:13.287 --> 01:09:15.368
My status dropped because I don\'t have much time left.

01:09:15.368 --> 01:09:17.241
I have 20 something months left.

01:09:18.229 --> 01:09:20.841
When your status changes you have to get transferred.

01:09:21.818 --> 01:09:23.298
There is light at the end of that tunnel,

01:09:23.298 --> 01:09:25.258
you\'re like here I am, I\'m finally down,

01:09:25.258 --> 01:09:28.088
you know what, I cannot stay in a max.

01:09:28.088 --> 01:09:30.487
\'Cause I\'m not classified as maximum security,

01:09:30.487 --> 01:09:32.378
so that means your time is short.

01:09:32.378 --> 01:09:34.571
And I really said this is gonna do me good.

01:09:40.014 --> 01:09:43.072
But I really didn\'t realize how far this was.

01:09:43.072 --> 01:09:45.608
Far from a city, north from Queens.

01:09:45.608 --> 01:09:47.388
This long bus ride up.

01:09:47.388 --> 01:09:49.058
There was no lights.

01:09:49.058 --> 01:09:50.885
Where I lived there\'s lights on every block.

01:09:50.885 --> 01:09:52.368
And I\'m saying to myself, I\'m sitting here

01:09:52.368 --> 01:09:54.778
saying I know these people pay taxes,

01:09:54.778 --> 01:09:56.501
why is there no lights up here?

01:09:57.678 --> 01:09:59.327
It\'s just a different place here.

01:09:59.327 --> 01:10:01.418
Far away from family, loved ones.

01:10:01.418 --> 01:10:02.568
It\'s a different world.

01:10:09.268 --> 01:10:12.298
When I got here, I was like that\'s the Children\'s Center?

01:10:12.298 --> 01:10:16.048
There\'s no caregivers, there\'s no crafts going on?

01:10:16.048 --> 01:10:16.880
Why?

01:10:16.880 --> 01:10:18.888
They\'re like that\'s the way it is.

01:10:18.888 --> 01:10:21.548
That\'s the way it is here, this is not Bedford.

01:10:21.548 --> 01:10:22.380
Where am I?

01:10:22.380 --> 01:10:23.214
I don\'t even know where I\'m at.

01:10:23.214 --> 01:10:25.163
I\'m by Canada, I know that.

01:10:25.163 --> 01:10:26.431
My family tells me how beautiful it is when

01:10:26.431 --> 01:10:28.781
they come up and they go to a lake or whatever.

01:10:30.178 --> 01:10:32.721
So I don\'t know what I\'m gonna do here.

01:10:39.237 --> 01:10:41.038
- Let me see what this says on here.

01:10:42.237 --> 01:10:44.487
This has to be an exact list.

01:10:44.487 --> 01:10:46.128
Let me put that in my to call file.

01:10:46.128 --> 01:10:47.855
- I don\'t know about them.

01:10:47.855 --> 01:10:48.987
- [Bobby] Are you doing something

01:10:48.987 --> 01:10:51.158
special with the older kids books?

01:10:51.158 --> 01:10:52.878
- I\'m gonna put them in read.

01:10:52.878 --> 01:10:53.711
- Okay.

01:10:54.578 --> 01:10:58.237
Thank you.

01:10:58.237 --> 01:10:59.418
Beautiful.

01:10:59.418 --> 01:11:00.438
Very nice.

01:11:00.438 --> 01:11:02.611
Got eight boxes of books.

01:11:04.778 --> 01:11:07.960
Today we are going to donate eight boxes of brand

01:11:07.960 --> 01:11:12.718
new books to Albion, to the Children\'s Center there.

01:11:12.718 --> 01:11:13.918
Like we have at Bedford.

01:11:22.237 --> 01:11:26.228
Bedford\'s connected to Albion because

01:11:26.228 --> 01:11:28.918
so many women that I\'ve worked with

01:11:28.918 --> 01:11:33.018
at Bedford, this has been their destination.

01:11:33.018 --> 01:11:35.448
So we hear about it all the time.

01:11:35.448 --> 01:11:37.248
I want to see where they were going.

01:11:40.237 --> 01:11:42.638
Mona\'s no longer a maximum inmate,

01:11:42.638 --> 01:11:44.308
which is a really good thing from

01:11:44.308 --> 01:11:46.458
the standpoint of getting to the

01:11:46.458 --> 01:11:49.374
parole board and hopefully being released,

01:11:49.374 --> 01:11:53.788
but because Albion\'s a medium security facility

01:11:53.788 --> 01:11:55.068
and women are there for a shorter time,

01:11:55.068 --> 01:11:58.065
there are fewer programs for them to participate in.

01:11:58.065 --> 01:12:01.951
It has a higher turnover, and so a less stable population.

01:12:03.207 --> 01:12:06.428
There\'s different kinds of problems there.

01:12:06.428 --> 01:12:09.018
And they also don\'t have cells from what I understand.

01:12:09.018 --> 01:12:11.728
All the women live in dormitories.

01:12:11.728 --> 01:12:14.048
Which has to be a shock to go up

01:12:14.048 --> 01:12:15.618
to Albion and all of a sudden be

01:12:15.618 --> 01:12:17.671
in a dorm room with 20 other women.

01:12:19.218 --> 01:12:21.248
Albion\'s like the great leveling field,

01:12:21.248 --> 01:12:23.158
like you could be at Bedford and you

01:12:23.158 --> 01:12:25.021
could\'ve accomplished 500 things,

01:12:25.021 --> 01:12:26.948
have been a real striver, have been

01:12:26.948 --> 01:12:29.112
just a really significant member

01:12:29.112 --> 01:12:31.315
of the prison community there.

01:12:31.315 --> 01:12:33.515
You get to Albion you\'re back to square one.

01:12:35.809 --> 01:12:37.059
Oh look, we\'re in Albion.

01:12:38.138 --> 01:12:39.378
Albion\'s big.

01:12:39.378 --> 01:12:42.081
The campus is much larger than Bedford\'s.

01:12:49.458 --> 01:12:50.291
Okay.

01:12:51.458 --> 01:12:54.378
Yeah, they fit right in, they do, that\'s great.

01:12:54.378 --> 01:12:55.428
Got tulips coming up.

01:13:06.358 --> 01:13:07.691
I am so excited.

01:13:08.898 --> 01:13:12.166
- This is our visiting center (mumbles) here.

01:13:12.166 --> 01:13:14.185
- [Bobby] So good to see you!

01:13:14.185 --> 01:13:17.998
I\'m so excited to be here, you have no idea.

01:13:17.998 --> 01:13:18.838
- Hello, Bobby.

01:13:18.838 --> 01:13:20.448
And also great to see you.

01:13:20.448 --> 01:13:21.811
- Everybody misses you.

01:13:23.022 --> 01:13:24.798
- It\'s just so great that Bobby\'s here.

01:13:24.798 --> 01:13:28.207
I mean Bobby, she\'s like my mentor.

01:13:28.207 --> 01:13:30.411
She was a very big part of my life.

01:13:31.478 --> 01:13:32.311
This is great.

01:13:32.311 --> 01:13:33.698
- This is familiar from Bedford right?

01:13:33.698 --> 01:13:35.248
- I just caught a flashback.

01:13:35.248 --> 01:13:37.008
Right before I left we did a Borders,

01:13:37.008 --> 01:13:39.878
the book drive, and got like 3,000 books.

01:13:39.878 --> 01:13:40.711
- These are them.

01:13:40.711 --> 01:13:41.849
- These are them.

01:13:41.849 --> 01:13:42.698
- These are the books.

01:13:42.698 --> 01:13:43.808
- [Mona] How is everybody?

01:13:43.808 --> 01:13:45.618
- [Bobby] The kids are good.

01:13:45.618 --> 01:13:47.918
- I miss all you guys, you just don\'t know it.

01:13:49.008 --> 01:13:50.528
I had that wonderful support.

01:13:50.528 --> 01:13:53.048
I had Sister Elaine, the Children\'s Center.

01:13:53.048 --> 01:13:54.128
It was incredible.

01:13:54.128 --> 01:13:57.380
It felt like a very important part of me.

01:13:58.468 --> 01:13:59.478
Oh and look, Dora!

01:13:59.478 --> 01:14:00.808
Dora the Explorer.

01:14:00.808 --> 01:14:02.708
How\'s things going Bobby, great?

01:14:02.708 --> 01:14:03.541
- [Bobby] I\'m gonna think what\'s

01:14:03.541 --> 01:14:04.938
new so I can tell you what\'s new.

01:14:04.938 --> 01:14:06.558
- How is Parenting from a Distance?

01:14:06.558 --> 01:14:08.688
- [Bobby] It is going really well.

01:14:08.688 --> 01:14:09.521
- Is it?

01:14:09.521 --> 01:14:11.548
- Tanika, she\'s doing a great job.

01:14:11.548 --> 01:14:12.558
- [Mona] She needed that.

01:14:12.558 --> 01:14:13.418
She need something like that.

01:14:13.418 --> 01:14:15.731
- She\'s doing an awesome job.

01:14:15.731 --> 01:14:17.298
- It\'s like Albion, I don\'t do any

01:14:17.298 --> 01:14:19.028
parenting work unfortunately, it\'s just

01:14:19.028 --> 01:14:22.311
not often, but it\'s needed desperately.

01:14:23.378 --> 01:14:25.668
I just don\'t think that they understand how

01:14:25.668 --> 01:14:28.221
critical it is for the children and the mothers.

01:14:29.328 --> 01:14:32.188
Even if we had a bookshelf that actually went up in height.

01:14:32.188 --> 01:14:34.398
I do facility maintenance.

01:14:34.398 --> 01:14:37.548
Repair, building maintenance, like tiles.

01:14:37.548 --> 01:14:39.481
I made a chimney, I did roofing.

01:14:40.538 --> 01:14:42.438
A real chimney with bricks.

01:14:42.438 --> 01:14:44.008
But I would love to do something

01:14:44.008 --> 01:14:45.908
profound to make a difference.

01:14:45.908 --> 01:14:46.741
Is there any way we can get

01:14:46.741 --> 01:14:48.508
donations of some tapes maybe?

01:14:48.508 --> 01:14:49.968
- Everybody\'s life has to have purpose.

01:14:49.968 --> 01:14:52.114
You have to do good, you have to give,

01:14:52.114 --> 01:14:54.448
because there\'s so much joy in giving.

01:14:54.448 --> 01:14:55.718
Whether you\'re giving your time,

01:14:55.718 --> 01:14:58.418
your patience, you help people.

01:14:58.418 --> 01:14:59.478
I think that was instilled in me

01:14:59.478 --> 01:15:01.378
by my mother and I lost her last year.

01:15:03.208 --> 01:15:08.061
It\'s just like, you just, it\'s so hard to explain.

01:15:09.298 --> 01:15:10.448
I have to have purpose.

01:15:11.438 --> 01:15:12.271
Something.

01:15:13.232 --> 01:15:15.354
What good am I here?

01:15:15.354 --> 01:15:19.021
(dramatic atmosphere music)

01:15:37.119 --> 01:15:39.693
- Okay, so why don\'t we do mothers against sons.

01:15:39.693 --> 01:15:41.943
(laughter)

01:15:48.678 --> 01:15:51.878
- So many times I watch the mothers, when they\'re

01:15:51.878 --> 01:15:53.648
in the Children\'s Center, taking care of

01:15:53.648 --> 01:15:55.601
their children, really atoning.

01:15:56.688 --> 01:15:59.051
Trying to give back, to make up.

01:16:01.408 --> 01:16:03.998
They\'re very beautiful with each other, with their children.

01:16:03.998 --> 01:16:05.548
Very beautiful with each other.

01:16:12.275 --> 01:16:15.888
And you watch them to see them bathe in this

01:16:15.888 --> 01:16:18.231
successful relationship with their children.

01:16:19.635 --> 01:16:21.308
You look at the child so differently,

01:16:21.308 --> 01:16:24.096
and so a child looks at the mother differently.

01:16:24.096 --> 01:16:28.181
It\'s teaching people to swim with success.

01:16:29.218 --> 01:16:31.658
When failure has been your water.

01:16:31.658 --> 01:16:33.001
On the day you began.

01:16:43.248 --> 01:16:45.638
- I am looking for Anneathia Clanton.

01:16:45.638 --> 01:16:47.551
Well she\'s supposed to be down here.

01:16:48.798 --> 01:16:50.598
Okay, but if she can come down as

01:16:50.598 --> 01:16:52.498
soon as possible, that would be great.

01:16:54.078 --> 01:16:55.308
Thanks a lot.

01:16:55.308 --> 01:16:56.451
Okay, bye bye.

01:17:03.428 --> 01:17:05.298
When a mom is gonna leave, the advice

01:17:05.298 --> 01:17:08.508
I always give them is first of all

01:17:08.508 --> 01:17:10.428
to remember how well they did in here.

01:17:10.428 --> 01:17:12.951
And to give themselves a lot of credit for that.

01:17:16.798 --> 01:17:19.498
In someplace in their heart, and in

01:17:19.498 --> 01:17:22.028
their soul, hold onto it, because once

01:17:22.028 --> 01:17:24.309
they get out there, it\'s very easy

01:17:24.309 --> 01:17:27.246
to lose your confidence, to lose your sense

01:17:27.246 --> 01:17:31.791
of internal structure, it\'s easy to fall apart.

01:17:31.791 --> 01:17:34.008
The other thing I tell them is go someplace

01:17:34.008 --> 01:17:36.008
where you\'re gonna get a lot of support.

01:17:47.508 --> 01:17:49.026
- I want a piece of gum.

01:17:49.026 --> 01:17:51.598
We are not allowed to have gum inside.

01:17:51.598 --> 01:17:53.138
- [Interviewer] I have a piece of gum.

01:17:53.138 --> 01:17:54.498
- You have a piece of gum?

01:17:54.498 --> 01:17:55.766
(laughter)

01:17:55.766 --> 01:17:57.016
Oh this is something new.

01:18:00.308 --> 01:18:01.141
Thank you.

01:18:04.558 --> 01:18:07.068
So I\'ll be there soon.

01:18:07.068 --> 01:18:07.901
I love you.

01:18:08.778 --> 01:18:10.105
Okay, bye bye.

01:18:12.888 --> 01:18:13.721
Cool.

01:18:17.158 --> 01:18:18.558
I keep looking at the clock.

01:18:20.058 --> 01:18:22.758
Count time is at 11:20.

01:18:22.758 --> 01:18:24.548
It\'s almost like my body\'s conditioned

01:18:24.548 --> 01:18:26.491
to know that it\'s almost time.

01:18:27.788 --> 01:18:29.441
It\'s still unbelievable.

01:18:30.458 --> 01:18:33.921
I mean I know I\'m out and everything, but I don\'t know.

01:18:35.178 --> 01:18:36.341
It just seems unreal.

01:18:38.148 --> 01:18:40.773
I\'ve been in since January \'99.

01:18:40.773 --> 01:18:42.418
The day I went to Bedford I thought

01:18:42.418 --> 01:18:44.088
it was the end of the world.

01:18:44.088 --> 01:18:46.088
I didn\'t think I was gonna make it.

01:18:46.088 --> 01:18:49.237
Now I\'m a very strong individual, and if

01:18:49.237 --> 01:18:51.588
I can make it in there, I can make it out here.

01:18:52.788 --> 01:18:54.808
I actually think I\'m more responsible.

01:18:54.808 --> 01:18:58.588
I accomplished a degree inside.

01:18:58.588 --> 01:19:00.491
Have a couple more credits for my B.A.

01:19:01.378 --> 01:19:03.368
I\'m really nervous about a job, like I

01:19:03.368 --> 01:19:05.998
feel like I have to get one right away.

01:19:05.998 --> 01:19:08.157
I\'ll probably get maybe a cashier job

01:19:08.157 --> 01:19:10.778
at first, but what I eventually wanna do

01:19:10.778 --> 01:19:14.326
is work with adolescent behavior teens

01:19:14.326 --> 01:19:16.931
that are going down the wrong path.

01:19:18.838 --> 01:19:21.208
I\'m really excited to see my mom.

01:19:21.208 --> 01:19:23.101
She\'s my best friend, she\'s my world.

01:19:25.018 --> 01:19:27.758
I can\'t wait just to know that

01:19:27.758 --> 01:19:29.928
I don\'t have to leave her and I\'ll

01:19:29.928 --> 01:19:31.408
be in the same house and wake up

01:19:31.408 --> 01:19:33.361
and she\'ll be in the other room.

01:19:34.268 --> 01:19:35.101
I can\'t wait.

01:19:36.638 --> 01:19:38.237
634.

01:19:38.237 --> 01:19:39.401
It\'s up here somewhere.

01:19:43.748 --> 01:19:44.921
Ain\'t this something.

01:19:49.478 --> 01:19:51.061
Welcome home Anneathia.

01:19:54.358 --> 01:19:55.558
- Look at her.

01:19:55.558 --> 01:19:57.808
(laughter)

01:19:59.048 --> 01:20:01.125
Oh my God, baby you\'re home.

01:20:02.677 --> 01:20:03.677
You\'re home.

01:20:13.158 --> 01:20:14.326
- Who did that?

01:20:14.326 --> 01:20:15.493
- We did that.

01:20:16.338 --> 01:20:17.508
- Where\'s the girls at?

01:20:17.508 --> 01:20:18.674
- They coming.

01:20:18.674 --> 01:20:20.924
(laughter)

01:20:22.838 --> 01:20:24.514
She\'s like I gotta put on something nice,

01:20:24.514 --> 01:20:27.014
I gotta put on something nice!

01:20:27.996 --> 01:20:29.580
Welcome home, girl.

01:20:32.395 --> 01:20:34.645
(laughter)

01:20:35.741 --> 01:20:36.888
- It smell like chitlins right?

01:20:36.888 --> 01:20:38.561
- Yes it does, I can\'t wait.

01:20:41.208 --> 01:20:42.428
- I made this, look look.

01:20:42.428 --> 01:20:43.938
Meet my hero.

01:20:43.938 --> 01:20:46.148
Grandma, mom, and sister.

01:20:46.148 --> 01:20:50.438
She was with me since I was six months old.

01:20:50.438 --> 01:20:51.491
I love her.

01:20:56.678 --> 01:20:58.170
- Look, that my tuba.

01:20:58.170 --> 01:20:59.189
- Your tuba?

01:20:59.189 --> 01:21:00.228
- [Luecrezy] (mumbles) with the valve in

01:21:00.228 --> 01:21:01.963
with the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

01:21:01.963 --> 01:21:04.213
(laughter)

01:21:06.334 --> 01:21:07.801
(flat trumpet note)

01:21:07.801 --> 01:21:08.634
- Awww.

01:21:08.634 --> 01:21:10.518
- You got to practice.

01:21:10.518 --> 01:21:12.798
- I waited for this day for so long.

01:21:13.674 --> 01:21:15.468
And my God said it would come, all I

01:21:15.468 --> 01:21:16.798
had to do was hang in there with Him

01:21:16.798 --> 01:21:19.665
that it was gonna be all right.

01:21:19.665 --> 01:21:21.298
- [Zayquana] I\'m happy she\'s out.

01:21:21.298 --> 01:21:22.671
- I\'m happy she\'s out too.

01:21:24.203 --> 01:21:25.653
This is like a new beginning.

01:21:27.717 --> 01:21:30.638
- Awww, you got a whole bunch of...

01:21:30.638 --> 01:21:32.468
The biggest anxiety I have is being

01:21:32.468 --> 01:21:36.458
with my kids for 24 hours a day.

01:21:36.458 --> 01:21:39.018
I think it\'s gonna be some getting used to.

01:21:39.018 --> 01:21:39.851
- Welcome home.

01:21:41.181 --> 01:21:43.048
Welcome home.

01:21:43.048 --> 01:21:44.228
- Girl, banana bread.

01:21:44.228 --> 01:21:45.544
- Hot off the presses.

01:21:45.544 --> 01:21:47.688
- Hot off the presses.

01:21:47.688 --> 01:21:49.424
- Welcome home, honey.

01:21:49.424 --> 01:21:50.730
- Thank you.

01:21:50.730 --> 01:21:51.678
- I figure that she\'s gonna come back

01:21:51.678 --> 01:21:52.987
and we gonna live happily ever after,

01:21:52.987 --> 01:21:55.168
everything gonna be good, but I know she\'s been

01:21:55.168 --> 01:21:58.538
through an ordeal, but she had a lot of help in there.

01:21:58.538 --> 01:22:00.348
I\'m gonna be here on her side and let

01:22:00.348 --> 01:22:02.268
her know that I\'m gonna be with her.

01:22:02.268 --> 01:22:04.338
I can\'t carry her.

01:22:04.338 --> 01:22:05.501
I\'ll be in the corner.

01:22:07.728 --> 01:22:09.848
- There\'s a lot of us working to break

01:22:09.848 --> 01:22:12.078
the cycle \'cause it doesn\'t have to

01:22:12.078 --> 01:22:14.358
be like I had a crack grandma, it don\'t have

01:22:14.358 --> 01:22:18.128
to be that, we can still instill good stuff.

01:22:18.128 --> 01:22:20.308
We gotta show the world that these two kids,

01:22:20.308 --> 01:22:22.058
even though they\'ve been through all what

01:22:22.058 --> 01:22:25.878
they\'ve been through, they can still have dreams.

01:22:25.878 --> 01:22:27.178
- But you know what I wanna do so

01:22:27.178 --> 01:22:29.151
we can remember this day more?

01:22:30.508 --> 01:22:32.058
I wanna read the ornaments and put the

01:22:32.058 --> 01:22:34.316
ornaments on the tree and say something.

01:22:34.316 --> 01:22:35.149
- [Zayquana] Okay.

01:22:35.149 --> 01:22:38.058
- One of those, tell me a couple exciting words.

01:22:38.058 --> 01:22:39.668
What would you say?

01:22:39.668 --> 01:22:40.840
- Fantabulous?

01:22:40.840 --> 01:22:43.398
- [Luecrezy] What, what kind of word is that?

01:22:43.398 --> 01:22:44.231
- Fantastic?

01:22:45.218 --> 01:22:46.555
- This is Anneathia.

01:22:47.548 --> 01:22:48.801
- This is Zayquana.

01:22:49.868 --> 01:22:50.938
- [Luecrezy] Who wants to go first?

01:22:50.938 --> 01:22:52.548
- Me!

01:22:52.548 --> 01:22:54.508
- All right, you gotta read what\'s on it now,

01:22:54.508 --> 01:22:55.828
and then tell me how it\'s gonna go,

01:22:55.828 --> 01:22:58.658
then every year after this, even when

01:22:58.658 --> 01:23:01.087
grandma\'s long gone, you keep these

01:23:01.087 --> 01:23:03.148
ornaments and this is what we can put

01:23:03.148 --> 01:23:05.888
on the tree so we can remember this day.

01:23:05.888 --> 01:23:06.721
- [Quanisha] Energetic.

01:23:06.721 --> 01:23:07.568
- [Luecrezy] Energetic.

01:23:07.568 --> 01:23:08.401
- [Quanisha] Courageous.

01:23:08.401 --> 01:23:09.234
- [Luecrezy] Courageous.

01:23:09.234 --> 01:23:10.258
- [Quanisha] Determined.

01:23:10.258 --> 01:23:11.928
- [Luecrezy] Quanisha, that\'s you!

01:23:11.928 --> 01:23:13.615
Do that fit you?

01:23:13.615 --> 01:23:14.448
- I guess so.

01:23:14.448 --> 01:23:16.105
- No, no, you should\'ve put attitude.

01:23:16.105 --> 01:23:17.058
(laughter)

01:23:17.058 --> 01:23:18.638
- [Luecrezy] Say how you feel.

01:23:18.638 --> 01:23:20.223
- Happy.

01:23:20.223 --> 01:23:22.140
- Happy happy, joy joy.

01:23:23.489 --> 01:23:25.888
- I feel excited, I\'m gonna open this.

01:23:25.888 --> 01:23:27.773
- [Luecrezy] All right, go ahead, Zayquana.

01:23:27.773 --> 01:23:29.428
Then you have to read yours.

01:23:29.428 --> 01:23:33.878
- Honest, energetic, optimistic, independent.

01:23:33.878 --> 01:23:35.448
Wait, time out, time out.

01:23:35.448 --> 01:23:36.608
What\'s optimistic?

01:23:36.608 --> 01:23:40.418
- [Luecrezy] Optimistic mean open-minded, you always...

01:23:40.418 --> 01:23:41.737
- See the good out of things.

01:23:41.737 --> 01:23:42.818
- [Luecrezy] Right.

01:23:42.818 --> 01:23:44.258
- Okay.

01:23:44.258 --> 01:23:48.487
Mine says reliable, intelligent, affectionate, intuitive.

01:23:48.487 --> 01:23:49.655
- That is her.

01:23:50.688 --> 01:23:52.948
- All right, there\'s hers.

01:23:52.948 --> 01:23:55.788
And mine is just Christmas, right there.

01:23:55.788 --> 01:23:57.798
And it says peace.

01:23:57.798 --> 01:23:58.858
And this is for us.

01:23:58.858 --> 01:23:59.691
- [Quanisha] Peace!

01:23:59.691 --> 01:24:00.524
Grandma, do this.

01:24:01.775 --> 01:24:04.268
(laughter)

01:24:04.268 --> 01:24:07.188
- And next year we\'re gonna do the same thing.

01:24:07.188 --> 01:24:08.571
And every year, okay?

01:24:23.831 --> 01:24:27.343
- So what do you want for lunch today?

01:24:27.343 --> 01:24:29.182
What do you want for lunch, peanut butter and jelly?

01:24:29.182 --> 01:24:30.048
- Peanut butter and jelly.

01:24:30.048 --> 01:24:31.357
- Yeah?

01:24:31.357 --> 01:24:32.190
Good.

01:24:33.146 --> 01:24:33.978
Can you skip?

01:24:33.978 --> 01:24:34.812
- Yes.

01:24:34.812 --> 01:24:35.832
- Let me see.

01:24:35.832 --> 01:24:36.665
All right!

01:24:37.878 --> 01:24:39.625
What\'s the letters?

01:24:39.625 --> 01:24:40.875
- [Emma] K-I...

01:24:42.248 --> 01:24:44.328
- I try to help as much as I can,

01:24:44.328 --> 01:24:47.218
I try and take Emma to school a lot.

01:24:47.218 --> 01:24:48.051
Just like you\'re going to the

01:24:48.051 --> 01:24:50.108
same school your mommy went to.

01:24:50.108 --> 01:24:52.248
And Uncle (mumbles) went to.

01:24:52.248 --> 01:24:54.341
It depends on what Melissa\'s schedule is.

01:24:55.438 --> 01:24:57.358
She goes to work three days a week,

01:24:57.358 --> 01:24:59.128
she goes to school morning and night

01:24:59.128 --> 01:25:02.368
two days a week, she\'s pulling a full load.

01:25:02.368 --> 01:25:04.487
- Mommy doesn\'t get ice cream that much.

01:25:04.487 --> 01:25:06.768
- Mommy had ice cream yesterday.

01:25:06.768 --> 01:25:08.298
- In the beginning it was hard.

01:25:08.298 --> 01:25:09.918
Even applying for public assistance

01:25:09.918 --> 01:25:13.348
you have to inform them you\'ve been incarcerated.

01:25:13.348 --> 01:25:14.348
\'Cause you have to explain where

01:25:14.348 --> 01:25:16.428
you\'ve been for the last two years.

01:25:16.428 --> 01:25:17.498
Everything.

01:25:17.498 --> 01:25:19.708
When I signed up for school I was

01:25:19.708 --> 01:25:21.028
re-enrolling in school, I had already

01:25:21.028 --> 01:25:23.978
been in school before I got incarcerated.

01:25:23.978 --> 01:25:25.916
So I had to explain to my school why

01:25:25.916 --> 01:25:28.324
I was re-enrolling and why I had to drop out

01:25:28.324 --> 01:25:30.831
two years ago and I never returned.

01:25:31.778 --> 01:25:32.878
Life is different now.

01:25:34.768 --> 01:25:36.380
- [Nancy] This is your hand print, Emma.

01:25:36.380 --> 01:25:37.245
- [Emma] Let me see that hand print.

01:25:37.245 --> 01:25:40.788
- Look how little your hand is compared to my hand.

01:25:40.788 --> 01:25:42.515
- Look how big my hand\'s now.

01:25:43.918 --> 01:25:45.788
- Emma doesn\'t know anything about it,

01:25:45.788 --> 01:25:48.448
and one day she\'s gonna sit down and tell her,

01:25:48.448 --> 01:25:52.255
but the mistake she made, like Melissa said,

01:25:52.255 --> 01:25:54.663
I\'m grown up now, that\'s behind me,

01:25:54.663 --> 01:25:57.853
it\'s a part of my life that I can\'t erase,

01:25:57.853 --> 01:26:02.300
but it\'s something I\'m never gonna see again.

01:26:02.300 --> 01:26:04.176
And that was a card you made for mom.

01:26:04.176 --> 01:26:06.018
- Mommy!

01:26:06.018 --> 01:26:08.029
- To my mommy.

01:26:08.029 --> 01:26:09.501
You had to do that in school.

01:26:11.328 --> 01:26:14.408
Having lived through Emma being allowed to stay

01:26:14.408 --> 01:26:17.588
with Melissa for the whole time she was in there.

01:26:17.588 --> 01:26:20.788
I am so for it, it was 21 months.

01:26:20.788 --> 01:26:23.288
You\'re talking almost two years, it\'s a long time.

01:26:24.328 --> 01:26:26.598
They were together 24 hours a day

01:26:26.598 --> 01:26:28.228
except when Melissa was in class,

01:26:28.228 --> 01:26:30.680
and I think it was the best thing that ever

01:26:30.680 --> 01:26:35.653
could\'ve happen, and I wish more prisons did that.

01:26:35.653 --> 01:26:39.320
(dramatic atmosphere music)

01:26:50.478 --> 01:26:55.408
- I see my incarceration like the resurrection of a phoenix.

01:26:55.408 --> 01:26:58.959
I always use that mythological bird because

01:26:58.959 --> 01:27:02.548
from the path of self-destruction that I

01:27:02.548 --> 01:27:05.651
was on, I did allow it to take me from

01:27:05.651 --> 01:27:08.466
my children, and I used that pain

01:27:08.466 --> 01:27:11.281
to turn into a beautiful creature.

01:27:13.178 --> 01:27:16.701
Some days I\'m like goodness, man,

01:27:16.701 --> 01:27:19.685
but you know what, patience and the

01:27:19.685 --> 01:27:24.388
waiting period, that\'s what\'s important.

01:27:24.388 --> 01:27:26.928
What am I gonna do during this waiting?

01:27:26.928 --> 01:27:29.323
I\'m going to take hold of every

01:27:29.323 --> 01:27:31.388
opportunity that I can to not only

01:27:31.388 --> 01:27:33.282
better myself, but to give my boys

01:27:33.282 --> 01:27:37.548
them opportunities that they deserve.

01:27:37.548 --> 01:27:38.801
That they deserve.

01:27:39.918 --> 01:27:41.778
- In regards to rehabilitation,

01:27:41.778 --> 01:27:44.108
I don\'t know what they\'re looking for.

01:27:44.108 --> 01:27:46.228
Rehabilitate, in a sense the state

01:27:46.228 --> 01:27:47.948
wants me rehabilitated, I don\'t

01:27:47.948 --> 01:27:49.648
even know what they expect of me.

01:27:49.648 --> 01:27:52.438
Because you can do everything you have to do,

01:27:52.438 --> 01:27:54.568
and then some, and then you still don\'t

01:27:54.568 --> 01:27:57.101
know what your chances are of freedom.

01:27:58.658 --> 01:28:02.476
I ask myself how did this become my life.

01:28:02.476 --> 01:28:06.190
I think I wanna cry now, but it\'s a horrible

01:28:06.190 --> 01:28:10.112
way to live, and I do love the woman I\'ve become.

01:28:10.112 --> 01:28:12.828
I\'ve helped a lot of people, I\'ve done

01:28:12.828 --> 01:28:16.798
a lot of wonderful things, and I love myself.

01:28:16.798 --> 01:28:18.818
And I think that you have to be

01:28:18.818 --> 01:28:20.838
happy no matter where you\'re at.

01:28:20.838 --> 01:28:23.088
Unhappiness is just a disease.

01:28:23.088 --> 01:28:24.591
And I see it all around me.

01:28:25.998 --> 01:28:28.015
My children are my life and

01:28:28.015 --> 01:28:30.248
that\'s what really kept me going.

01:28:30.248 --> 01:28:33.130
Without them I really doubt I would\'ve made it.

01:28:45.748 --> 01:28:47.478
- When my mom comes out, she probably

01:28:47.478 --> 01:28:50.751
go to, with my stepfather to Georgia.

01:28:51.868 --> 01:28:54.447
Jacob would probably move with her.

01:28:54.447 --> 01:28:57.138
I think I\'d stay in the city, finish getting

01:28:57.138 --> 01:29:00.741
my education, because my education comes first.

01:29:10.208 --> 01:29:11.041
- Three years.

01:29:12.120 --> 01:29:13.941
A quick three years, wow.

01:29:16.688 --> 01:29:20.518
Melissa\'s doing so well, I am so proud of her.

01:29:20.518 --> 01:29:22.388
Really so proud.

01:29:22.388 --> 01:29:24.048
It\'s a long haul and I\'m very

01:29:24.048 --> 01:29:25.648
proud that she\'s doing the haul.

01:29:26.638 --> 01:29:28.788
We haven\'t even really had a really

01:29:28.788 --> 01:29:31.848
good fight, disagreement, in I can\'t

01:29:31.848 --> 01:29:33.948
tell you how long, I really don\'t remember.

01:29:33.948 --> 01:29:35.420
- You\'ve changed a little.

01:29:35.420 --> 01:29:36.930
- Yeah, for the better?

01:29:36.930 --> 01:29:37.948
- Yeah.

01:29:37.948 --> 01:29:40.198
(laughter)

01:29:41.457 --> 01:29:42.680
- Have more patience?

01:29:42.680 --> 01:29:43.513
- Yeah.

01:29:43.513 --> 01:29:45.658
I think dealing with Emma gave you more patience.

01:29:45.658 --> 01:29:48.498
We sit down and we have actual conversations.

01:29:48.498 --> 01:29:50.325
- Sometimes she even asks my opinion

01:29:50.325 --> 01:29:51.608
on something which is really great.

01:29:51.608 --> 01:29:52.788
- We were in two different complete

01:29:52.788 --> 01:29:55.838
worlds before that, I was in a

01:29:55.838 --> 01:29:57.838
drug addict world of not caring

01:29:57.838 --> 01:30:00.237
what anybody else thought or said, it really

01:30:00.237 --> 01:30:02.751
didn\'t matter, but now life is different now.

01:30:04.338 --> 01:30:07.763
- Yeah, Emma\'s changed a lot around here for us.

01:30:07.763 --> 01:30:08.987
- For both of us.

01:30:08.987 --> 01:30:09.848
- For the better.

01:30:09.848 --> 01:30:10.681
For the better.

01:30:19.318 --> 01:30:21.018
- I think the biggest thing I experienced

01:30:21.018 --> 01:30:23.580
was so much more freedom, like getting up

01:30:23.580 --> 01:30:25.544
in the middle of the night, going to

01:30:25.544 --> 01:30:28.678
the refrigerator, little things.

01:30:28.678 --> 01:30:30.921
Being inside was a whole lot easier.

01:30:31.838 --> 01:30:34.671
Honestly it was, it was a whole lot easier.

01:30:36.188 --> 01:30:40.448
Not just the kids, but how much you have to do out here.

01:30:40.448 --> 01:30:42.568
I told her to eat her food first.

01:30:42.568 --> 01:30:45.237
- Go ahead, she said go, so do it.

01:30:45.237 --> 01:30:46.568
She\'ll be fine.

01:30:46.568 --> 01:30:49.808
Just being back together, it\'s new.

01:30:49.808 --> 01:30:53.448
But I think these changes, it\'s good.

01:30:53.448 --> 01:30:55.311
So much easier to talk now.

01:30:56.228 --> 01:30:57.618
So much easier to talk.

01:30:57.618 --> 01:31:00.498
I\'m glad that we\'re open with my drug use

01:31:00.498 --> 01:31:02.628
and I\'m glad we\'re open with the prison thing

01:31:02.628 --> 01:31:04.175
and that\'s what happens, and I think

01:31:04.175 --> 01:31:06.498
Zay and Quanashia, I think they\'re gonna

01:31:06.498 --> 01:31:08.958
look back at it and see this as an experience

01:31:08.958 --> 01:31:11.108
and they gonna tell their kids about it.

01:31:11.108 --> 01:31:14.328
\'Cause I think it\'s gonna help them in the long run.

01:31:14.328 --> 01:31:15.868
- You wrote this one down twice,

01:31:15.868 --> 01:31:17.058
you forgot the Hepatitis B one.

01:31:17.058 --> 01:31:18.368
If you have to give quick directions

01:31:18.368 --> 01:31:22.737
during outreach, that\'s simple.

01:31:22.737 --> 01:31:23.918
- [Interviewer] What\'s that award for?

01:31:23.918 --> 01:31:25.071
- Excellent behavior.

01:31:50.499 --> 01:31:51.749
- I\'m so happy.

01:31:53.525 --> 01:31:54.358
Oh God.

01:31:55.198 --> 01:31:58.948
(prisoners shouting goodbye)

01:32:00.639 --> 01:32:04.972
This is the first day of the best years of our life.

01:32:06.234 --> 01:32:08.273
Go home with the baby.

01:32:08.273 --> 01:32:11.940
(dramatic atmosphere music)

01:32:35.501 --> 01:32:39.584
(dramatic acoustic guitar music)