00:00:22:01 - 00:00:24:02
My name is Hồng Muội.

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I was born and raised in Nha Trang.

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I often tell myself

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that until my late 30s

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I will dedicate myself to dancing.

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I’ll still dance as long as
my health permits.

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If not, after that, when I turn 40,
I could become a photographer.

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My dream is to do art.

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That sounds easy,
but doing it is difficult.

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In Vietnam there are many obstacles

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for those who want
to live their own lives

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and be able to make
a living from their passion.

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However, I still love Vietnam,

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and I believe I can do it.

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Yes, that's a leaf.

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Yes, upward lifting stroke.

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Orange.

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Orange.

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That’s an orange.

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No, the orange is right here.

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Right here. Did you see it?

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What fruit is this?

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Oh my gosh, you haven’t used
up this piece yet,

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you’ve already used another!

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There’s a ...

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What fruit is that?

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That’s a lemon.

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A lemon.

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A mango.

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I’ll write “mango.”

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I chose to be a single mother.

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I thought that escaping from
a bad relationship,

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I would have a better future.

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I have dedicated time and

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effort during the past
few years to raising my child.

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And I hope that when she grows up

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she can be a successful student,

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find her dream job,

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and have a better life than mine.

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Nam, can you count numbers for mommy?

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Nam!

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Currently, I feel satisfied
with this place,

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although I live in a small space.

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I like living in this place

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because I am not only
afraid of narrow spaces,

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but I am also afraid of
large spaces too,

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so I think this place is cozy
and safe enough for me.

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And even if the neighborhood
where I’m living at the moment

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is kind of a ghetto part of the city

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where there are many drug addicts,

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I think that if I don’t harm anyone

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then nobody will bother me.

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So I just live my life.

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I am friendly with everyone,

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so it’s okay living here
for my daughter and me.

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Without a mother by my side,

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back then I became a tomboy.

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I would only play with the boys
living in the village,

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and together, we disturbed
the entire neighborhood.

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Everyone is familiar
with the path of social evils,

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delinquency, drugs,
and other bad stuff.

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At that time, I was slipping
dangerously into that world,

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but I feel that I am lucky,

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because around that time I read a post

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on the website of a dance group

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that was looking to
recruit a new member.

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So I joined them.

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Ever since that day

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I felt like my life became meaningful.

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I got into hip hop dancing
with the passion of a young kid,

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and I have been following hip hop

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for over 15 years now.

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That is quite a memorable
milestone for me.

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When I was growing up, people told me

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that I had a “walking leg,”
meaning that I liked to walk,

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that I couldn't stand staying at home.

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I only stay at home when I feel sleepy.

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Most of my day after
I wake up in the morning,

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the thought of going outside
always comes up.

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I can walk all day, I don't get tired.

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Quite a few people have asked
why they always see me

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in the streets, backpacking,

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walking in the streets, like a wanderer,

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like a vagrant, like a homeless person.

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It’s because I like it, I just do it,

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for no particular reason.

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I tried to study hard

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but I found out that what
I loved was doing art.

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I love singing, I love dancing.

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I love to draw.

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I love to travel.

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I don't like a life that is confined

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to a structure like the school,

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where the teacher teaches like a robot.

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The way they teach the kids,
it makes them all become the same.

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When I was a little bit older,

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I finally left school.

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I dropped out
of school because

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it just wasn’t interesting
to me any longer.

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I don't understand why in Vietnam,

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it is so important for parents

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that their children must be
good at school.

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Even though their children
are not good students,

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they can still do many different things

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and find a role in society.

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Yet, they don’t care.

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I traveled around Vietnam, doing what
the Vietnamese call “đi phượt,”

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riding on a motorbike
to visit many places, such as

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Đà Lạt, Buôn Ma Thuột, Đắk Lắk,
Saigon, Huế, Đà Nẵng,

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and Hanoi.

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I really liked it, although
it was a bit tiring.

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I had a feeling that
I could enjoy this life.

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It makes me want to experience it all.

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I really like to go to Đà Lạt
with my lover, Anh.

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We met each other
for the first time in Đà Lạt.

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Having a place called home,

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making good friends,

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having a partner and a daughter
by my side, all that is my happiness.

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In Vietnam, at the age of 27,

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people think you are
close to middle age,

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and they keep nagging me
about my life choices.

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There’s a Vietnamese idiom

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“An old bamboo tree makes young shoots."

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Meaning when the old generations
like us are gone,

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the younger ones will replace us.

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Some of my friends were encouraging,

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and I should not be so pessimistic.

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I want to continue growing in hip hop,

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to assert myself more,
and who knows,

00:11:05:04 - 00:11:08:23
maybe one day
I will have a lucky opportunity

00:11:08:26 - 00:11:10:26
to go abroad
and go to school overseas,

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or be able to educate
myself somewhere else.

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I just want to live my own life.

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Life is different from what
we’ve been taught.

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Life teaches you how to live it,

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how to create more layers of masks
to cover your true face.

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My life has a lot
of negative sides.

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Some days I feel down for no reason.

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I smoke every day,

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I drink coffee every day,

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but to me, it is not really that bad.

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It actually helps me to chill out,

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because normally I tend to stress a lot.

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When I am around super
aggressive people,

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or show-off people,

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even when I’m in a hip hop contest
or in a dance studio,

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I feel anxious and panicked.

00:13:05:02 - 00:13:07:18
So the only thing that can calm me down

00:13:07:20 - 00:13:12:04
is a cigarette, a glass of beer,
or an alcoholic drink.

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Maybe I am not a rich person
in this society,

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maybe I am not a pretty person,
or very talented.

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But I believe I have something special,

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because at least, after all
the negative things

00:14:00:08 - 00:14:04:24
about my family and myself,
I have found an ideal in life,

00:14:05:08 - 00:14:07:29
which is to live for my
passion for hip hop.

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After my father and my mother
were divorced, I lived with my father.

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We moved to Đà Lạt
and that is where he met my stepmother.

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My stepmother raised me since
I was a little kid.

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I never knew she
wasn't my real mother.

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I always thought she was my real mother,

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because she took
good care of me,

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and truly loved me
like her own child.

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When I was in the first year
of primary school,

00:15:29:09 - 00:15:31:14
my stepmother was diagnosed
with blood cancer,

00:15:31:16 - 00:15:33:21
and the following summer
she passed away.

00:15:40:04 - 00:15:41:10
After she passed away,

00:15:41:15 - 00:15:45:27
my father had to be both
a father and a mother to me.

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I’ll burn half,
you’ll burn the rest.

00:15:58:07 - 00:16:06:03
My father used violence to control
me when I was growing up.

00:16:09:25 - 00:16:13:05
He was violent and abused me
psychologically and physically.

00:16:18:24 - 00:16:21:11
I’ve been struggling with depression

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ever since my stepmother passed away.

00:16:27:05 - 00:16:32:19
I have been extremely depressed

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and I've tried
to commit suicide many times.

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I feel like I am lucky.

00:16:55:11 - 00:16:57:01
Actually, I don't know if I am lucky

00:16:57:03 - 00:16:59:19
or if my life here
isn’t meant to end yet.

00:17:43:22 - 00:17:46:02
There was a time that was very hard.

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I had many difficulties in life
and in relationships.

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My family was angry at me

00:17:55:12 - 00:17:57:07
and forbade me from returning home.

00:18:02:21 - 00:18:05:24
Instead of asking for help from others

00:18:06:05 - 00:18:11:03
I decided to leave home.

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I would wander in the streets
all night, going here and there,

00:18:19:15 - 00:18:21:19
but mostly I would go down to the beach

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and stare at the sea while it's quiet.

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This allows me to feel inner peace,

00:18:27:18 - 00:18:30:22
because the world out there
is complicated and full of problems.

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I slept on the beach quite a few times.

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Each time, when I woke up,

00:18:40:26 - 00:18:49:03
everyone was looking
at me like I was homeless.

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I asked myself how did I
end up like this?

00:19:00:00 - 00:19:04:11
I blamed myself for everything.

00:19:04:14 - 00:19:07:01
The beach became my shelter.

00:19:08:21 - 00:19:13:15
At that time life was very
difficult for me.

00:19:55:09 - 00:19:59:20
To everyone in my family,
on the side of my maternal family,

00:20:00:00 - 00:20:02:05
people think I am a rogue.

00:20:08:20 - 00:20:13:04
They always assume you are
a bad kid in this society,

00:20:13:06 - 00:20:17:22
although they do not know
what their granddaughter is capable of.

00:20:23:19 - 00:20:26:19
In this society, one is only valued
for their money,

00:20:26:22 - 00:20:30:15
social position or status.

00:20:34:28 - 00:20:38:14
That is one thing that makes me
very frustrated quite often.

00:20:39:15 - 00:20:41:19
It is money that talks here.
For example,

00:20:41:25 - 00:20:45:00
when I don't have money,
I don't have the right to speak.

00:20:46:14 - 00:20:50:23
They say "you are too poor to ask,

00:20:50:25 - 00:20:53:05
too poor to imitate,
too poor to demand.”

00:21:22:05 - 00:21:27:22
I feel lucky that I have friends
who are not too old.

00:21:28:09 - 00:21:33:10
I have younger sisters
who understand me,

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and behind the scenes, they root for me.

00:21:39:04 - 00:21:44:11
I am like an older sister to her,

00:21:44:14 - 00:21:47:19
because we’ve been
through similar life struggles,

00:21:47:21 - 00:21:52:03
and now we support each other.

00:22:01:04 - 00:22:08:07
I always wanted to have a sister,
and now I do have one.

00:22:35:17 - 00:22:38:22
Vinpearl Land just held
a big casting event.

00:22:38:25 - 00:22:42:04
They were looking for dancers and actors

00:22:42:06 - 00:22:45:18
from all across Vietnam, north to south.

00:22:50:24 - 00:22:55:09
On the day of casting, I overslept
and woke up too late.

00:23:00:07 - 00:23:01:19
I had a second chance though,

00:23:01:23 - 00:23:03:06
which was online casting,

00:23:03:08 - 00:23:06:13
during which I performed
my dance for the camera.

00:23:10:10 - 00:23:12:16
When I got the official news

00:23:12:19 - 00:23:15:02
in November, that I would
start working there,

00:23:15:05 - 00:23:16:05
I was like

00:23:16:07 - 00:23:20:21
“OMG! I’m going to work
at Vinpearl Land!”

00:23:28:29 - 00:23:33:06
That job at Vinpearl Land gave me
a totally new experience.

00:23:33:29 - 00:23:37:00
There are rarely opportunities
for me to go there,

00:23:37:15 - 00:23:39:18
because I can’t afford the ticket

00:23:39:21 - 00:23:43:09
and the cost of the trip for the day.

00:23:51:06 - 00:23:54:05
In general, it's all new,
very new and different,

00:23:54:08 - 00:23:56:08
compared to my previous work.

00:23:59:09 - 00:24:01:04
It's a dream job that allows me

00:24:01:07 - 00:24:04:16
to pursue my passion for dancing.

00:24:04:27 - 00:24:06:22
I was very excited.

00:24:28:29 - 00:24:30:16
While working at Vinpearl Land,

00:24:30:18 - 00:24:33:17
I gained a lot of experience

00:24:33:19 - 00:24:35:16
working with foreign choreographers,

00:24:35:18 - 00:24:37:05
and working with professionals

00:24:37:07 - 00:24:39:06
who are highly qualified.

00:24:39:27 - 00:24:43:05
These people taught me and helped me

00:24:43:07 - 00:24:45:20
improve my dancing skills.

00:24:46:24 - 00:24:48:19
I am happy about that.

00:26:53:02 - 00:26:56:01
When the coronavirus, COVID-19,

00:26:56:04 - 00:26:58:00
broke out in Vietnam

00:26:58:03 - 00:27:01:05
we had to stay home because
of the national lockdown.

00:27:02:08 - 00:27:07:21
It was a difficult time.

00:27:07:23 - 00:27:12:07
I was unemployed and just stayed
at home every day.

00:27:16:16 - 00:27:18:05
At that time,

00:27:18:07 - 00:27:24:04
I met a friend
who introduced me to photography.

00:27:24:06 - 00:27:28:11
Before, I only took pictures for fun,

00:27:28:14 - 00:27:31:24
but this friend helped me
step up to another level,

00:27:31:27 - 00:27:33:25
so I developed that passion.

00:27:34:15 - 00:27:37:26
Luckily, my friend
understood my situation

00:27:37:28 - 00:27:39:04
and kept supporting me.

00:27:39:08 - 00:27:41:13
He bought me a new camera,

00:27:42:23 - 00:27:47:20
and told me to follow my passion.

00:27:59:01 - 00:28:04:08
He said “I’ll help you at
the early stages of your career,

00:28:04:10 - 00:28:07:16
but you’ll have to learn
to stand on your feet sooner or later.”

00:28:10:29 - 00:28:12:02
I think I’m old,

00:28:12:18 - 00:28:15:01
but many of my friends say the opposite.

00:28:15:03 - 00:28:18:02
They encourage me
to reset my life again.

00:28:19:06 - 00:28:22:05
I am in that state right now.

00:28:22:16 - 00:28:24:25
I’m starting a photography
career from scratch,

00:28:24:27 - 00:28:28:05
I need to take each photo

00:28:28:08 - 00:28:30:03
with all of my heart.

00:28:31:21 - 00:28:35:12
I’m not really sure if could
make a living from photography.

00:28:35:14 - 00:28:38:14
I wonder how difficult it would be.

00:28:39:18 - 00:28:43:06
Is it as difficult as
making it as a dancer?

00:28:44:22 - 00:28:46:23
But I know that I will try my best.