Undo Motherhood Ep. 03 - Resignation

Description
Reviews
Citation
Cataloging
Transcript

Undo Motherhood delves into the global phenomenon of women regretting motherhood. It exposes the impact of the patriarchal norms surrounding motherhood, highlighting the societal pressure on women to embrace this role, only to be left unsupported by fathers and society once they become mothers. Despite being dedicated and excellent by societal standards, these women grapple with the oppressive role of normative motherhood, often considering it a regrettable mistake that robs them of their existence.

This video is a multimedia version of the project UNDO MOTHERHOOD, published as a photo book in 2022 by Schilt Publishing (Amsterdam). Check out the book HERE.

Episode 01 – Exhaustion

Episode 02 – Isolation

Episode 03 – Resignation

Episode 04 – Acceptance

“The author dismantles the enumerated prejudices around the powerful conservative institution, dismantles conventional and prepackaged behaviors with a research that is ruthless and hard probing as it is beyond sincere. Her narrative manifests the controversial side and the discussed fact: it is as persuasive as the texture of velvet and as impactful as a ruinous fall onto concrete.” – Globalist

“The subjects in her images, although seemingly quiet and reflective, almost look as though they are screaming for help. You can see the desperation in some of their eyes, along with love, confusion, guilt, and every other emotion that undoubtedly comes from having and loving a child but realizing parenthood was probably the wrong decision. It's these complex emotions that Diana attempts to unpick, taking various perspectives from those she photographed and interviewed.” – Creative Boom

“Respectful, intimate imagery makes visible a continuum of ambivalence.” – J. Sybylla Smith, curator

Citation

Select a citation style:

Main credits

Karklin, Diana (filmmaker)

Other credits

Cinematography, Diana Karklin; editing, José Bautista.

MARC Record See Worldcat record

Keywords

women,womanhood,gender,girl,girlhood,mother,motherhood,female,cis woman,cis female,trans woman,trans female,women’s rights,women’s issues,lady,ladies,gentlewoman,madame,miss,missus,mrs.,dame,damsel,ingenue,lass,maid,maiden,belle,gal,ladyfriend,girlfriend,dear,darling,widow,matron,dowager,gender,gender equality,gender pay gap,women’s liberation,women’s rights,family,kin,fellowship,household,immediate family,extended family,multigenerational family,multigenerational household,kinfolk,family tree,genealogy,nuclear family,modern family,family tree,sociology,anthropology,psychology,sociological,sociological perspectives,conflict theory,human conflicts,sociological thinking,conflict perspective,topics in sociology,sociology topics,sociology studies,social studies,people and cultures,human relations,human relationships,cultural studies,culture studies ,gender,sexuality,gender roles,gender identity,sexual orientation,gender equality,gender pronouns,gender studies,gender spectrum,gender norms,gender roles,gender stereotypes,sexual selection,sexualization,sexual awakening,puberty,pubescence,mental illness,therapy,trauma,behavioral health,mental disability,psychology,psychiatry,social work,wellbeing,counselor,diagnosis,mentally disabled,mental incapacitation,mentally defective,mental handicap,mental defective,psychotic break,psychosis,psychoses,mentally sound,questionable mental health,short films,short film,short,non-feature,run time,short run time,running time,short running time,live-action short,documentary short,animated short,live-action short film,documentary short film,animated short film; "Undo Motherhood Ep. 03 - Resignation"; Pragda Films

00:00:11.760 --> 00:00:13.320
I don't know if it has to do with the fact that

00:00:13.320 --> 00:00:17.320
I never lived with children
and I never liked them,

00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:21.120
so the idea of having one at home
24 hours a day

00:00:21.360 --> 00:00:25.560
was not something that I liked
or attracted my attention.

00:00:26.040 --> 00:00:29.040
In the same way that I like

00:00:30.040 --> 00:00:32.480
helping animals,

00:00:32.480 --> 00:00:35.160
in the same way I knew that
I did not want children

00:00:35.160 --> 00:00:37.640
in my life.

00:00:40.040 --> 00:00:43.480
When the doctor told me that
I couldn’t have children,

00:00:43.480 --> 00:00:47.360
I shouldn’t have trusted him so blindly.
For such a delicate matter,

00:00:47.360 --> 00:00:51.440
I should have got a second opinion,
and should have not just taken his opinion

00:00:52.760 --> 00:00:53.520
at face value.

00:00:53.520 --> 00:00:56.480
And as for my husband,

00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:03.360
it was a series of bad decisions too.
As long as I keep blaming other people

00:01:03.360 --> 00:01:07.840
or things that might have had an influence...

00:01:08.720 --> 00:01:12.960
I won’t be able to take the next step forward

00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:16.200
and try to mature and learn

00:01:16.200 --> 00:01:19.160
from the whole situation.

00:01:21.600 --> 00:01:23.800
At first we had typical problems

00:01:23.800 --> 00:01:26.400
that got out of control.

00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:29.760
He started having anger management issues.

00:01:30.160 --> 00:01:36.120
The moment he threatened me
and tried to hit me,

00:01:36.680 --> 00:01:40.600
it was when I decided not to stay longer

00:01:40.600 --> 00:01:44.680
and see if he was going to hit me or not.

00:01:44.720 --> 00:01:46.640
Two and a half months after I left,

00:01:46.640 --> 00:01:49.120
I found out that I was 3 months pregnant.

00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:51.520
We were talking and

00:01:51.520 --> 00:01:53.040
he convinced me to try again

00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:55.720
to have a normal family
for the sake of the girl.

00:01:56.360 --> 00:02:00.760
We got back together, we were together for a year,
but it didn't work out.

00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:02.520
Things got worse and worse.

00:02:02.520 --> 00:02:06.720
We started hating each other,
we weren't even a couple anymore

00:02:06.720 --> 00:02:08.160
and it wasn't healthy for us

00:02:08.160 --> 00:02:11.880
to be together with the girl.
We began to traumatize her...

00:02:12.600 --> 00:02:16.600
so I decided to end

00:02:16.920 --> 00:02:19.080
this relationship.

00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:34.560
God save you Mary, full of grace,

00:02:34.760 --> 00:02:38.040
The Lord is with you, blessed are you
among all

00:02:38.240 --> 00:02:41.520
I would dare to say that the most sacred thing
here in Mexico is the Virgin,

00:02:41.840 --> 00:02:45.720
the self-sacrificing mother
and the example for all women.

00:02:46.440 --> 00:02:50.120
It is said that our job in the world

00:02:50.760 --> 00:02:53.920
is to have children.

00:02:54.760 --> 00:02:57.040
And once you have children,

00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:00.120
you have to sacrifice your body and soul for them.

00:03:00.120 --> 00:03:03.880
If a woman is a bit selfish

00:03:03.920 --> 00:03:05.720
and wants to work,

00:03:06.720 --> 00:03:09.200
it is wrong because it is assumed that
when you have children,

00:03:09.240 --> 00:03:12.000
you have to disappear and
the only thing that should matter is your children.

00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:16.280
And the fact that someone rebels
against disappearing

00:03:16.280 --> 00:03:18.920
is already considered the worst

00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:23.480
because that is how we have been educated.

00:03:23.480 --> 00:03:26.520
"My mother took blows from my father for us" -

00:03:26.520 --> 00:03:29.080
things like this that

00:03:30.160 --> 00:03:32.480
subconsciously remain

00:03:32.480 --> 00:03:35.040
and if I don't do the same,

00:03:35.040 --> 00:03:38.440
I'm a bad mother.
And being a bad mother is the worst.

00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:41.480
Women must be good mothers.

00:03:57.480 --> 00:03:59.800
(For the best cowboy...the best cattle.)

00:04:02.160 --> 00:04:05.160
I think that just as I realized

00:04:05.160 --> 00:04:07.400
my mother regretted motherhood,
my daughter will also end up realizing the same.

00:04:08.200 --> 00:04:14.200
I don’t want to pretend,
but I truly believe that

00:04:14.760 --> 00:04:17.320
if I do things right,

00:04:17.320 --> 00:04:20.360
if I never show her any sort of rejection,

00:04:20.360 --> 00:04:25.880
she will understand.

00:04:26.360 --> 00:04:29.840
I think it is something that has to be
instilled in children from when they are little.

00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:32.800
You need to ensure that they never feel rejected

00:04:33.400 --> 00:04:35.960
because this is what makes a big difference

00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:38.800
when the truth comes out.

00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:42.160
If you give them love, affection

00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:46.800
and everything possible and they know it,

00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:50.480
then, in the end, whether or not
you regretted having children

00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:54.000
becomes secondary.

00:04:54.120 --> 00:04:57.600
Maybe my mother didn’t want to have me,
but she had me

00:04:58.120 --> 00:05:00.960
and she loves me,
and the rest is

00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:04.320
history.