WEBVTT

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[sil.]

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[sil.]

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[music]

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When I finished college, my brother Nathan
was working on a farm up in Ontario.

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[sil.]

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That summer, I rode my bike across
the northeast to visit him.

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It was the first time in a while

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that I\'d had a chance to really
step back and think about things.

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[music]

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Life was moving fast but what scared
me wasn\'t that the past was gone.

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[music]

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It was that the future
was still so uncertain.

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[music]

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When I first got here, it was pretty shocking, the
way time slowed down because I was here in March.

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You know, every day or so,
things change a little bit

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and it seems like it takes forever
for the past year to green up.

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I think the way both of
us feel right now is…

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is that while we\'re still young and we don\'t
have families to feed we might as well try

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to go the idealistic route… Right.

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…For a while. The… the… the risks that we\'re taking at this stage in
life for a lot less than… than it would be 10 years down the road.

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[music]

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Last time you saw grandma was Christmas?

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Which grandma? Uh… Polly. Polly.

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I don\'t know what do you think when
you visit her when we\'re all there

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and she\'s just hanging out in a wheelchair.

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I think it\'s… it\'s sad to me.

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That\'s a weird question to ask. What do you think it would
have been better if she had died like three years ago?

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I think…

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I think she was done
living a long time ago.

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I can\'t remember all that well
what she was as a person.

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I mean, I can but it\'s fading.
I think you\'re right

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it has been so long that when I see her I think
about what it means for mom and dad grew older.

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You know, I think about what she represents

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because that\'s sort of all that\'s
left is that she represents something

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and that there\'s not much
of a person left there.

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[music]

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(inaudible) someone else.

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[music]

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[sil.]

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You remember this guy?

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You remember the guy right there?

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You… Can you recognize it? That\'s me.

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You see how short I am? (inaudible)
short I am compared the mom

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and dad and Nat… Nat is taller than me.

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This is like right before I got tall.

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[sil.]

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The first real moment was

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she went to the theatre in
the day and the next day

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I asked her, \"How it was?\"

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And she said, \"It was good.\" And I said, \"How did you
end up getting there?\" And she said, \"Oh, we walked.\"

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But they didn\'t because
it was five miles away,

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so you know, it was somewhere downtown,

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and the conversation went on

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and then she got up, she went somewhere
and she came back and she said,

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\"I know I told you that we
walked, and I want you to know

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that I know that we didn\'t.\"

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And that was sort of the beginning.

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No, I don\'t want to get back there. Hang on. So but what
you got here… I want to be able to shoot him, okay?

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Okay. This is my other grandmother.
Grandma ED,

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who was actually two years older than
Grandma Polly. Nobody ever told me

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about the fact that I would
have to stop shaving my legs

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because I didn\'t need to shave my legs anymore
because the hair just stopped growing.

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[music]

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Both of my grandmothers live in
the same retirement community.

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In different wings of a place called
Kendal in Hanover, New Hampshire.

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I\'ve been coming here to visit Edie since I was a little kid. And
I\'ve always thought that living at Kendal would be kind of like

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going to college only at the end of life.

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I think that changes at my age now

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and my late 80s seem to be
occurring as frequently

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as possibly as changes would of from
being six months old two years old.

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It\'s… they\'re very rapid.

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[music]

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I can open my mouth as wide as I like.

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And my dear dentist says, you
got arthritis in your jaw.

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Who ever thought of arthritis in your jaw?

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[music]

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It\'s just, you know, wrinkles
appear, skin changes are dramatic.

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In the winter time, here, I have a heck
of a time trying to keep enough humidity.

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Here so that I\'m not itchy and breaking out

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in all sorts of strange spots and…

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What I find very interesting is
that you\'re able to observe this

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as sort of an interesting
phenomenon as opposed to…

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Taking it personally. Yeah.

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Well, don\'t you think some of that
comes from being behind a camcorder.

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I was surprised by how much I had
in common with Grandma Edie.

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Things I never noticed when I was little.

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Growing up my grandparents had always
been just grandparents. Good morning.

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I\'d never really thought about what their
lives might be like. I think I\'m done.

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Or how their is might
be connected with mine.

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Now you don\'t have to sit
quite so straight either.

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You can cross your legs and relax, it\'s
only your grandma you\'re talking to. Okay.

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Okay. Okay. Now you
yourself have gone through

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some major traumatic events recently,

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talking about life and dying and so forth.

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Okay. And I\'ve never
really heard your story.

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Well, what… Well, begin… begin

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when you set off that morning
to go and play Frisbee, right?

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Get down there. Get down there.
When did you begin to realize

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that what happened to you, I mean,

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you could have died, right?

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When did that piece of knowledge
suddenly register for you?

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Well, I\'m young

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and stupid

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and I\'m young and stupid.

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Ought to be old

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and wise.

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To be comfortable

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with the prospect of my old (inaudible) by.

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I don\'t believe. Thinking he must be…

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Hey Jodie.

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Oh boy.

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How is it going? Great. Good to see you.

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It\'s really good to see you.
Are you really awake?

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Hey, Bones. Good to see you. Good to see
you. I said if (inaudible) car\'s gone

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it\'s because of the driving to Canada because I missed my flight.
Oh my God. My mom called me on the road at like nine o\'clock.

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Grandma Edie had gone to Nova
Scotia to go over her living well

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with her two oldest children. Okay. I didn\'t
know much about what a living will was

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but making sure her kids understood it
was clearly very important to Edie.

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Do you have your… the… that what
I said you? The… the copy, yeah.

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I have that. Might be… might be Mandy(ph), I
don\'t know. Did it raise any questions for you?

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If you\'re walking around town

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and you pass out… Yeah. I don\'t want
you… I just do call an ambulance.

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Uh… If I pass out

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and some body determines
that my heart has stopped,

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umm… in other words cardiac arrest,
then do not call the ambulance.

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That\'s my do not resuscitate,

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and it has Mary\'s name on it. I
don\'t know what you\'re seeing here.

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But there are mild heart… heart attacks, there\'s
congestive heart failure which is gradual, and…

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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh… you
know, a mild heart attack…

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You don\'t know, do you?

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I know. Yeah. (inaudible). Yeah.
What\'s likely to happen?

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I don\'t know what\'s really
likely to happen I could began

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to degenerate mentally, uh… and slide onto

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early stages of Alzheimer\'s and on down

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that dreaded path. And at that
point I want the capability

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if I still have it together enough
here to refuse food and (inaudible).

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And… and get out of this
life as soon as possible.

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And Terry will have the hard
time because he… You are the…

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wants to extend life to its limits.

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If you\'re essentially fine

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and fully competent and… and
thinking about things and you say,

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\"Well, this… this is my time to die,\"

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umm… that sounds like suicide.

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[music]

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Okay. Here we are. Grandma,

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and it\'s spring. There is grandma.

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Oh my God, she\'s slipping.

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And it was a… a language thing.

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She would sort… sort of misspeak
or just… should mix up her words.

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I do and of course now and go, \"Oh my God.
This is what grandma was doing.\"

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[music]

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Wow, grandma! Don\'t trouble your grandma.

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[music]

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I took her to a bunch of
doctors in Philadelphia.

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Really wanting an answer. I wanted someone to
say this is how we\'re gonna we\'re fix you.

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We finally came to New York to a program

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and that woman is a woman that diagnosed her
and said, \"You have progressive (inaudible).

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So she went from going to all these people who
said, \"You\'re a pretty remarkable old woman,

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just what are you complaining
about?\" And finally someone said,

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\"No, you have something very rare and
very specific and it\'s not good news

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because most people will decline…\"
Is it funny with the flowers.

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And I love this one outside there.
They over time,

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you know, witnessed some
real funny grandma moments.

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I used to go down every
other weekend pretty much

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but grandma comes out of
the bedroom stark naked

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and started dances around in the living room with Sammy
and she says, \"My closer, just so uncomfortable.

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I feel much better without my clothes on.\"

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And Sammy just took it in stride like, \"Oh my God,\" you know.
But these kind of things started happening, you\'re like, \"Wow!\"

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It\'s not just (inaudible) anymore.

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She would get, you know,

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weird isn\'t the right word but she\'d get
a little more complicated every year.

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I remember looking at her,

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doing her morning exercises and
knowing that in the old days,

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Nina and Sam would go over and hang with her and do
exercises with her, and now they were choosing not to.

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And I was choosing not to make them go.

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And this… the same weekend that
I was sort of looking at her

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realizing this was happening, she
came to me and started crying

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and saying, \"You know, I know it\'s all different
now. I know that you used to come over

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and you don\'t, you know. The kids used
to come over and they don\'t anymore.

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And I want you to be normal or I want you to be the way
you used to be or something.\" It was… it was… was hard.

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[music]

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Hi grandma, so your (inaudible) taken.

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But taken back, so I said, \"I would.\"

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And we\'re going to

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take you for a little ride in your chair.
And you gonna find a piano.

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And I think Nathan is gonna play.

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And we said you many, many times,

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he began playing the piano on your piano.

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Oh… Hi, mom. How are you? Grandma.

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[music]

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You love seeing (inaudible), don\'t you?
You know her hair is amazing.

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Oh. It still is.

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She was very alone. She couldn\'t communicate with
people. And then there was a lot of conversation

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about her plan and… and
what her desires were.

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Luckier I have curly hair.

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So I thought the sooner she made the
move the better but she wanted very much

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to be a part of her life to be independent,

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and it was four years later
that we moved her here.

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She was not really able
to talk at that point.

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[music]

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Whenever I would go visit her, which
was… every three or four weekends

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I would go down to Philadelphia to see her.
She would say, \"I want to go home.

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She kept saying, \"I want to go home.\"
She could say those words. Yes.

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And what did that mean to you? Well, to
me, it meant she didn\'t want to be there.

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Whether it meant she
wanted to rewind the world

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and go back to the way life used to be
with her, it was, \"I\'m done with this

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and I want to move on to the next stage.\"

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Even though she cannot speak,
there is a quality about her

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that has maintained itself,
that makes the staff

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love taking care of her.
It makes them love her

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and there\'s been a quality of her that has made
other people really love her all of her life.

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And it\'s amazing that that
quality is still there.

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[music]

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I can\'t help but wonder

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what mom will be like when
she\'s at grandma\'s age?

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I don\'t want my mom to be scared of aging.

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[music]

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And I think having a mother like
Polly can make you scared of aging.

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[music]

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[sil.]

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We just did a program called,

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when to review your will?

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St. Peter is waiting. Are you ready?
That\'s the title of this.

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You\'re invited this time, huh?

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I what? You\'re in front of the cameras this time
rather than behind it. I\'m rather than behind it,

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I know. I know, it\'s crazy. Knock, knock.

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Where are you going? I don\'t know.

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Dakin Henderson came to see you. Hi, Ruth.

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My God! Yeah. Dakin Henderson,
Dakin Henderson, Dakin Henderson,

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you\'ve grown big. You want some help?

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Okay, so you\'re often (inaudible).
This is fun.

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I don\'t know whether I\'m
gonna to have any fun but…

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Well, you usually do, don\'t you? You\'re
not there yet. I\'m not there yet.

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Yeah. You have to go down the hall here.

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Don\'t do that.

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You\'re… you\'re either telling the person you\'re looking at
that he\'s crazy or you\'re telling yourself you\'re crazy.

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Well, that\'s what I\'m… Yeah.
No. You\'re not.

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Take care. Bye-bye.

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Have a good time.

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Good to see you, Ruth. I
don\'t want to be like that.

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And you know that. Yeah. You know it.

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[music]

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Ruth is one of those distant relatives

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who I never really knew how to act around.
She was always really old,

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always kind of goofy. She
liked to give high fives.

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One, two, three, four, five.

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Yeah. She seems pretty happy.

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I mean, considering she\'s 95 years old.

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Would I want to live like that?

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I\'m not sure.

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:38.000
[music]

00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.999
But there was still something
I couldn\'t understand.

00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:54.999
I liked Ruth. I mean, if
you could live that long,

00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:59.999
why wouldn\'t you just
want to keep on going.

00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.999
Your body is nothing but
a house for your soul,

00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.999
and there comes a time when
your body starts to fall apart

00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.999
and it\'s no longer a decent
place for you as a person

00:24:15.000 --> 00:24:19.999
and it\'s time to let your spirit
out of that crumbling uh… house.

00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:24.999
Our medical system now as focus

00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.999
so on extending life beyond the point

00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:34.999
where the… you know, the
house is falling down.

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:39.999
Grandma Edie\'s thoughts about all this went
beyond what she wanted for her own experience.

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:44.999
So I hope I\'ll bring to whoever
I\'m talking to down there

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.999
quite a different perspective
on their profession.

00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:54.999
I appreciate your coming it\'s wonderful to see so
many people. I really feel very honored to be here.

00:24:55.000 --> 00:24:59.999
I am 86 years old and although

00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:04.999
I think I still have it pretty
well put together mentally,

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:09.999
I do know that there are changes occurring

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.999
and I see it not only in myself
but my friends at Kendal.

00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.999
For example, I know someone who
had a visit from her minister,

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.999
not long ago, this lady had a
lovely old pump organ in her home,

00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:29.999
and our minister sat down

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:34.999
and he looked and on the
top of the pump organ

00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:39.999
was a crystal glass bowl filled with water.

00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.999
And floating on the top of
the water was a condom,

00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:49.999
and he looked and he looked…
Yes, that\'s what it was.

00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:54.999
After awhile his curiosity
knew no bounds, and he said,

00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:59.999
\"Could you tell me about that
bowl on your… on your organ?\"

00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:04.999
And she said, \"I was walking
down the street the other day

00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:09.999
and I saw this little box on the
sidewalk and I picked it up

00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:14.999
and open it up and the directions said,

00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:19.999
\"Keep this wet. Put it on your organ

00:26:20.000 --> 00:26:24.999
and you will be spared
all kinds of diseases.\"

00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.999
Oh my God. And she said, \"And I
haven\'t have a cold or (inaudible).\"

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:38.000
[sil.]

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:44.999
She (inaudible)… Seriously.

00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:49.999
I feel strongly about the need for
medical practitioners and care givers.

00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:54.999
That will on the (inaudible).

00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:59.999
Fabulous. No, this is a serious topic
I lovely get onto (inaudible).

00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:04.999
And I believe that working together we,

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:09.999
the elderly are family members and
you in the health care profession

00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.999
can overcome the fear and stress,
that so many of us encounter today.

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.999
[music]

00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:24.999
I never knew grandma Edie was so
outspoken about end of life issues

00:27:25.000 --> 00:27:29.999
until a couple of years ago when
she started appearing in the news.

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.999
Thank you so much for sharing this to all. Edie
Gieg looks and acts a lot younger than her age.

00:27:35.000 --> 00:27:39.999
She may be healthy but the 85-year-old has
given a lot of thought to what lies ahead.

00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:44.999
There\'s a huge amount of denial

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:49.999
about what goes on at the end of life.
Apparently a lot of people are talking about

00:27:50.000 --> 00:27:54.999
how messed up our medical system is
when it comes to treating older people.

00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.999
She knows it many elderly people aren\'t lucky enough to
die suddenly that it is often a slow painful progression…

00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:04.999
What grandma Edie was saying, part
of the problem is and families.

00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:09.999
Some of the most difficult situations
occur when somebody like myself would say

00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:14.999
to their doctor, \"Look, I don\'t want

00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:19.999
to drag on for years and years,\" but
that person hasn\'t really discussed

00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:24.999
with their children what they
want at the end of life.

00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:29.999
Oh, Dita, how could you…

00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.999
I have lived a wonderful full life.

00:28:35.000 --> 00:28:39.999
So that from here on out

00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.999
if things go downhill and
I get incapacitated.

00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:49.999
I want… I want to have
the ability to opt out.

00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:54.999
You know, so far you\'re
aging pretty gracefully.

00:28:55.000 --> 00:28:59.999
Umm… But you… suppose you go
into sort of a gradual decline.

00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:04.999
I\'m already going… And like… Well, you are.
Yeah. But… but okay. So… so it gets worst,

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:09.999
kind a like… kind of like Ruth or… or
somebody. Yeah. Okay. That\'s a good example.

00:29:10.000 --> 00:29:14.999
So you don\'t want that. No way. But you
may have difficulty recognizing yourself.

00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:19.999
When is the time to stop eating
or drinking or whatever?

00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:24.999
That\'s when it\'s gonna
be really hard I think

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:29.999
for everybody to say, \"Okay. Now\'s the time
and… and then… and then… and then what.

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:34.999
They\'re still dying in there. Don\'t take a picture
of them still squirming around in that hot water.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.999
Put the lid down. Oh, terrible.

00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.999
Mom talks a lot about end of life

00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.999
and it doesn\'t interest me that much.
Right now

00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:54.999
I feel very much alive and that\'s
what I like to talk about.

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:59.999
Mom\'s prolonged preoccupation
with how to die.

00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:04.999
Uh… It\'s been going on for years, you
know, it\'s like, let\'s put it to rest

00:30:05.000 --> 00:30:09.999
and go do something else. And after awhile

00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.999
I find the frequent subject of end of life

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:19.999
to be a bit tedious.

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:24.999
But I\'m not there yet. And
even mom is not there yet.

00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:29.999
I thought grandma Edie had covered just about
everything, so we can move on from these conversations,

00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:34.999
but then one day she decided
to have surgery on her knee

00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.999
and all of a sudden things weren\'t so clear anymore.
This has been a lot of activity for you today, so…

00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.999
We got in this operation.

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:49.999
I was totally numb from the waist down,

00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:54.999
and there were the usual
sounds of sawing and you know,

00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:59.999
all these kind of thing. So the next
thing above my… my visual barrier,

00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:04.999
(inaudible) yelled up in this
forceps, what, I tell you,

00:31:05.000 --> 00:31:09.999
it looked like a lobster meat.
So that was fascinating.

00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:14.999
Good. Good.

00:31:15.000 --> 00:31:19.999
She had her surgery on
Friday and I walked in

00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.999
not long after she was out of the
operating room and at that moment

00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:29.999
her blood pressure had dropped and
her heart rate was down in the 40s

00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.999
and they were doing an EKG and things were
happening and we didn\'t know what and I thought…

00:31:35.000 --> 00:31:39.999
And for all the times and
even the doctors were saying,

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:44.999
she\'s tells us on the operating table, she has a do not resuscitate
order, be sure not to resuscitate her if something goes wrong.

00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.999
I\'m watching this going on and I\'m thinking

00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:54.999
but she can have a very
happy life out of her,

00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:59.999
of course we\'re not gonna stop.

00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:04.999
Well, she had written things like, you know, here
are some conditions that are unacceptable to me

00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:09.999
and some of those conditions were conditions which
people live happily… happy lives functioning with.

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:14.999
\"You know, mom what if you\'re

00:32:15.000 --> 00:32:19.999
out of it mentally but
seemed perfectly happy.\"

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:24.999
\"Don\'t let me, don\'t feed me.\"

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:29.999
Umm… She goes… That\'ll be
the hard part for you,

00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:34.999
so it will be hard.

00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:39.999
So the cart is over to the right.

00:32:40.000 --> 00:32:44.999
I feel like there was a period
where we had to decide,

00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.999
you know, do we

00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:54.999
take means to keep her alive
and we sort of all agreed no,

00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:59.999
but then she went in to this bizarre
several year period of staying alive

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:04.999
without much help.

00:33:05.000 --> 00:33:09.999
So it wasn\'t like there was a machine to turn off. She
would eat a half a teaspoon of yogurt a day kind of thing

00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:14.999
and live for two years.

00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:19.999
For operator assistance at anytime
during your call, press *0.

00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:24.999
[sil.]

00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.999
Hello! Hello!

00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.999
Hello! Is everybody here? Yes.

00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.999
So we\'ll start with a
general nursing assessment

00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:44.999
that Holly can share with us from
this last quarter about your mom.

00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:49.999
I have… I have one question, this is Rob. What\'s her
weight now? Thirty days ago her weight was 78.6,

00:33:50.000 --> 00:33:54.999
so she\'s actually gained about 1.3 pounds.

00:33:55.000 --> 00:33:59.999
Six months ago, uh… her
weight was 81 pounds

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.999
but I think what is also
of note is one year ago

00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:09.999
in January of her weight…
her weight was 69 pounds.

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:14.999
So during the last… Fifty nine?
Sixty nine. What?

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:19.999
Wait a minute. Sixty nine.
Correct. Six nine.

00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.999
Six nine, one year ago. Yes. Wow! What…
what would you attribute the increase to?

00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:29.999
Umm… I think what we\'ve
noticed over the years,

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:34.999
I mean, she had sometimes when she refused

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.999
to allow us to assist her to eat, umm…
it was definitely clear to the staff

00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.999
that she would turn her head away, or I mean,
a year ago we were still trying to see

00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:49.999
if she would somewhat participate
in the feeding process.

00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:54.999
Umm… But when we tried to assist her, she might turn
her head away. There was some clenching of her teeth,

00:34:55.000 --> 00:34:59.999
you know, obvious indicators to us
that she didn\'t want to have anymore.

00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.999
[sil.]

00:35:05.000 --> 00:35:09.999
So Ms. P. This is a first day of like,
we\'re not having the low zero weather.

00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:14.999
And you gonna take grandma outside?
Not in this.

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.999
She\'s too frail and fragile.
She\'s like a little leaf.

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:24.999
Thousands of dollars a month are
being spent to keep her comfortable,

00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:29.999
and you know, when you say wow,

00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:34.999
what could we have done with $10,000 if we
didn\'t spend it to keep grandma comfortable,

00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:39.999
you know, how many children could you vaccinate in the
world and all that, when you start playing that game,

00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:44.999
it… it becomes, it was complicated to say,

00:35:45.000 --> 00:35:49.999
you know, we\'re spending so much money for

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:54.999
not a lot of quality of life.

00:35:55.000 --> 00:36:03.000
[music]

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.999
She probably would have
voted for give me the pill

00:36:15.000 --> 00:36:19.999
that lets me go to sleep tonight
not wake up, but who knows.

00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:24.999
That\'s the… and… and isn\'t that the question, you know,
am I willing not to say… I am willing not to say,

00:36:25.000 --> 00:36:29.999
when I\'m in her shoes, give
me the pill that, you know,

00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.999
says, \"I don\'t wake up in the
morning and save all that money.\"

00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:39.999
You know, but that\'s a
fascinating thing to declare

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:44.999
\'cause what if you\'re sitting there inside your body saying, \"No, no. I\'m
still getting something out of life, and you\'re about to give me the pill.

00:36:45.000 --> 00:36:49.999
I just can\'t tell you on getting something
out of life.\" It\'s complicated.

00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:54.999
Look, here\'s her cart.
She knows how to cart.

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.999
[sil.]

00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:04.999
Hello? Hello?

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.999
How are you? Oh, I\'m fine.

00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:14.999
Good to see you. Oh my Lord.
We got some flowers.

00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:19.999
Send off by your son. Oh my God.
You are gorgeous people.

00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:24.999
But from all of us. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.999
Oh beautiful, beautiful.

00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.999
You repair the knee

00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:39.999
but it obviously has affected the something
else in the body, namely the ankle one.

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.999
And, you know, I\'m… I\'m impatient.

00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:49.999
Hi, Joanne. Hi, how are you?

00:37:50.000 --> 00:37:54.999
Good, thanks. I look around me
here at my some of my friends

00:37:55.000 --> 00:37:59.999
who had been limping around or
using walkers and so forth,

00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:04.999
and I\'m thinking, I look like she does.

00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:09.999
Even at my age, it\'s hard to accept
that I\'m not going to be able to

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.999
go on the way I\'ll go with and used to.

00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.999
Well, here we are. Hello, dear lady.

00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.999
Beautiful lady. Good morning, (inaudible).
Good morning. Hi, dear.

00:38:25.000 --> 00:38:29.999
You\'re offered fitness (inaudible)?
I don\'t know what I\'m doing.

00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:34.999
You don\'t know what you\'re doing. Oh, dear.

00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:39.999
You know who I am? Yes. Saw
you at the (inaudible).

00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:44.999
Okay. And you know that I\'m her sister?
Yes, I know that.

00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.999
Okay. Well, I\'m glad. Thank you.
Yeah. Hang on.

00:38:50.000 --> 00:38:54.999
Do you remember that… do you
remember Dakin Henderson? Hi, Ruth.

00:38:55.000 --> 00:38:59.999
My grandson. Good to see you.

00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:04.999
Long time no see. Yeah. Yeah.
Long time no see.

00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:09.999
So we\'re gonna take you to fitness (inaudible),
is that right? You like to do that?

00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:14.999
I don\'t know whether I\'ll like it or not.

00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:19.999
Well, you can go and watch for
awhile maybe. How about that?

00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:24.999
How about that. I\'ll give u a ride.
You\'re all set.

00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:29.999
Is the gas tank full? The gas tank is full.
Your oxygen tank is full,

00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.999
and we do need to release the brakes. Okay.

00:39:35.000 --> 00:39:39.999
[sil.]

00:39:40.000 --> 00:39:44.999
You haven\'t forgotten. That\'s… that\'s fun.

00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:49.999
Funny lady.

00:39:50.000 --> 00:39:54.999
Four, five,

00:39:55.000 --> 00:39:59.999
two, three, four,

00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:04.999
five, six, seven,

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:09.999
eight, nine, ten.

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.999
(inaudible) gently down the street.

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:23.000
(inaudible).

00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:44.999
[music]

00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:49.999
I remember the first time I realized
life wouldn\'t last forever.

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:54.999
We\'re at an amusement park.
I was maybe nine or ten.

00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:59.999
Waiting in line for the Yankee
cannon ball roller coaster.

00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.999
The drop was high. I was
nervous and excited.

00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.999
Anxious to get to the front of the line, but
secretly wishing that drop would never come.

00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:18.000
[music]

00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.999
In a heartbeat, the ride was over.

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.999
For the rest of the day, I kept remembering how
nervous I had been before that roller coaster.

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:34.999
How at that moment I
wanted both to speed up

00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.999
and slow down time.

00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:44.999
And yet the future came and
went anyway at its own pace.

00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:49.999
[music]

00:41:50.000 --> 00:41:54.999
The day was over before I knew it and
now that thought is just a memory,

00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:59.999
something that reminds me
of the time that\'s passed.

00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:08.000
[music]

00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:14.999
It still works. It still works.
It\'s amazing.

00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:19.999
Oh, you getting rid of this?
You know, it looks like junk.

00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.999
Get rid of that. Is this an art project?

00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.999
I don\'t know, it must have had a head. I
think it had a head that\'s fallen off.

00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:34.999
Well, just keep in mind that our longer-term goal which is to
move out of this house at some point in time and downsize…

00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:39.999
There you go. I mean, and when we do
that, we don\'t want to have to be

00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:44.999
acting as a storage house
for you or Nathan.

00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:49.999
A+. Excellent job, Dakin Henderson.

00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:54.999
B+. Oops! Here\'s a B. Looks like
it took a dive on that one.

00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.999
Oh wow. Throw it out.
Throw all this stuff out.

00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:04.999
Look, at what a naughty (inaudible) he was.

00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:09.999
You\'ll never look at it,

00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:14.999
I guarantee it. Mom, if I asked you to help me
go through this stuff and choose what to keep,

00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:19.999
what… what would you advise me to do? I
think the first 18 years of your life

00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:24.999
are easy to forget

00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:29.999
and it\'s interesting to have something that
reminds you, that you got an A+ at one point.

00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:38.000
[music]

00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:24.999
I would like to reinvent
myself one more time.

00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:29.999
[sil.]

00:44:30.000 --> 00:44:34.999
You know, go and live some other country.

00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:39.999
You got to get rid of the
children though, I guess.

00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:44.999
[music]

00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:49.999
[sil.]

00:44:50.000 --> 00:44:54.999
The next the event that\'ll happen in
our everyday little life is Halloween

00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:59.999
and wonder how it always
have a Halloween party

00:45:00.000 --> 00:45:04.999
they live down the street. And every
year I go to that party, I say,

00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:09.999
\"Weren\'t we just hear?\" So
whatever that feeling is

00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.999
happens all the time, you know.

00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:19.999
When I turn 80, that… that\'s in 66 years,

00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.999
so I think it might be a little early

00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:29.999
to worry about that.

00:45:30.000 --> 00:45:34.999
Like my sister she does have that fear,
and she freaked out when she turned 17.

00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:39.999
I don\'t want to get wrinkles.
I don\'t want to look old.

00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:44.999
I don\'t want to be old, I don\'t want to
look old. And I was like, \"Nina, your 17.

00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:49.999
You got… you got a long way to go.\" And I\'m not…
No, I\'m not halfway to 50. You are halfway to 50.

00:45:50.000 --> 00:45:54.999
I\'m halfway to 50, but I\'m… I\'d be afraid.

00:45:55.000 --> 00:45:59.999
Are you? It\'s scary to think about

00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:04.999
that like eventually we\'re
gonna be old like that

00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:09.999
and like possibly end up late grandma, not
be able to do anything or speak even,

00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.999
like she was and that\'s scary.
I mean, but… it\'s different,

00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.999
thinking about turning 18 and
thinking about being like 80s.

00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:28.000
[music]

00:46:35.000 --> 00:46:39.999
What do you think about growing old?
How do you want to grow old?

00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:44.999
I don\'t know. I always kinda wanna be a crotchety
old dude. I don\'t know what that means.

00:46:45.000 --> 00:46:49.999
[music]

00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:54.999
And who knows what it means. I mean, maybe grandma\'s
functioning inside there and she just can\'t express it,

00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:59.999
and maybe she saying, \"God
damn it, just let me die,\"

00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:04.999
or maybe she saying, \"Thank goodness. I\'ve
got to see it in another three years of life

00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:09.999
because I got to see…\" Maybe the
world is like watching TV for her.

00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.999
Right. Who knows. And I don\'t know,
I\'m not too worried about it,

00:47:15.000 --> 00:47:19.999
you know, I think I hope I have… I
hope I have a company, you know.

00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:24.999
I think if anything would worry me,

00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:29.999
it would be being alone, and not just… I mean,
if my partner passes on that\'s part of life

00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:34.999
but if nobody was… nobody gave a crap,

00:47:35.000 --> 00:47:39.999
nobody came and said hi or anything.
I\'d be hard.

00:47:40.000 --> 00:47:44.999
Sure, you would. Do you think about…

00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:49.999
Do you think about the end, do you
think about what happens after death?

00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.999
No. Not really. Why not? Too young still.

00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:59.999
I sort of believe I\'m a
physical being, and when I die,

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.999
I don\'t get to fertilize couple
of tomato plants, who knows.

00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:09.999
Honorable fate. Thanks. Certainly.

00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:14.999
Do you think about the end?

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:19.999
Yeah. I mean death is
probably the scariest thought

00:48:20.000 --> 00:48:24.999
that I can conjure.

00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:29.999
[sil.]

00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:34.999
I\'m so sure I\'m not the one that\'s gonna drop dead of a heart
attack. I\'m so sure I\'m not going to die in a car accident.

00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:39.999
I just know I\'m not. Maybe
everybody thinks they know that

00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:44.999
what\'s their habits but I just know I\'m not. Do you feel that
way? Is it obvious to you you\'re not gonna die in a car crash?

00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:49.999
It was before last April.

00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:54.999
[sil.]

00:48:55.000 --> 00:48:59.999
Begin. Begin. When you set off that
morning to go and play Frisbee, right?

00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:04.999
And you were on your (inaudible),
I mean, tell… roll it for me.

00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:09.999
All right. Well, it began
like any other Sunday.

00:49:10.000 --> 00:49:14.999
I\'ll describe it and then you\'ll have to just
like, take a deep breath because like I told you,

00:49:15.000 --> 00:49:19.999
you weren\'t there, so you didn\'t see it. So you could only here
and try to recreate it in your mind by what people will tell you.

00:49:20.000 --> 00:49:24.999
[music]

00:49:25.000 --> 00:49:29.999
I had gotten there and warmed up

00:49:30.000 --> 00:49:34.999
and I was standing on the
sideline and just notice that you

00:49:35.000 --> 00:49:39.999
folded on the sideline. One knee

00:49:40.000 --> 00:49:44.999
and then just splat red on the ground.

00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:49.999
And what are you 6\'3, 6\'4, so for somebody
to just suddenly crumble to the ground,

00:49:50.000 --> 00:49:54.999
and like, basically lay on their
face, we thought you had a cramp.

00:49:55.000 --> 00:49:59.999
So we ran up to you and said, \"Dakin Henderson, are
you all right? Do you have a cramp, what\'s going on?\"

00:50:00.000 --> 00:50:04.999
And you didn\'t move. It so we turned
you over and you still didn\'t move,

00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.999
didn\'t respond, you weren\'t breathing.

00:50:10.000 --> 00:50:14.999
After a period of… of just waiting,

00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:19.999
the decision was made quite
suddenly to implement CPR.

00:50:20.000 --> 00:50:24.999
One of them started pumping your chest and one
of them started breathing into your mouth.

00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.999
[music]

00:50:30.000 --> 00:50:34.999
Your heart stopped. When
you… when we assessing CPR,

00:50:35.000 --> 00:50:39.999
you know, we\'re… we\'re looking for your breathing, we\'re feeling for
your respirations. There was none. We\'re feeling to feeling for pulse,

00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:44.999
you know, umm… to see if your heart
is beating, there was nothing.

00:50:45.000 --> 00:50:49.999
Umm… And I actually… my hand was actually on your chest ready to do
a third cycle of compressions when I felt your heart start to beat.

00:50:50.000 --> 00:50:54.999
And I… then it was a continuous beat,

00:50:55.000 --> 00:50:59.999
and that\'s when you took your that…
that breath. And your color came back.

00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:04.999
[music]

00:51:05.000 --> 00:51:09.999
And it seemed at the time that you failed to
appreciate the gravity of what had happened.

00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:14.999
That, a couple of our teammates
effectively saved your life

00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:19.999
and then you needn\'t necessarily
have been around anymore.

00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:24.999
[music]

00:51:25.000 --> 00:51:29.999
First saved voice message. Hi, hi, my
name is (inaudible) Dakin Henderson

00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:34.999
and found your number in his phone.
Umm… We were playing (inaudible),

00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:39.999
he umm… collapsed on the field. He\'s with
medics right now, and trying to reach someone

00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:44.999
who might be umm… able to come here and give more
information. Umm… Call me back up. (inaudible).

00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:49.999
Okay, thank you. Bye.

00:51:50.000 --> 00:51:54.999
End of message. To return the call, press
88. To erase this message, press 7.

00:51:55.000 --> 00:51:59.999
To send a reply message, press 8.
To save it, press 9.

00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:04.999
[music]

00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:09.999
By the time I reached the ER,

00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:14.999
I was conscious and alert but
most of all I was confused.

00:52:15.000 --> 00:52:19.999
I felt like saying this is all just a big
mistake. I\'m actually fine, thank you.

00:52:20.000 --> 00:52:24.999
[music]

00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:29.999
I felt so out of place, like a healthy
person trapped in someone else\'s body.

00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:34.999
[music]

00:52:35.000 --> 00:52:39.999
I spent three days in the hospital, and
after testing me for just about everything,

00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:44.999
the doctors couldn\'t arrive at an
explanation for what had happened.

00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:49.999
Finally, they just let me go.

00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:54.999
I wanted to laugh it off. My perspective
of the whole situation was…

00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:59.999
Is very pleasant. I took a nap. Yeah. And that\'s what… in
fact, that\'s what you said to me. You said you took a nap.

00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:04.999
You said you just passed out
and you took a little nap.

00:53:05.000 --> 00:53:09.999
My heart jumps every time, like when I saw you
again my kinda dumped and skipped a beat,

00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:14.999
every time I see you,
it does that, you know.

00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:19.999
Because basically what that means is I was
dead for two minutes and came. Yes, it does.

00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:24.999
That\'s exactly what it means. So
you would thought to entertain…

00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:29.999
Yeah. So do you understand why I
think about you often, and I do.

00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:34.999
I think about you often just wondering how you\'re doing and
hoping that you\'re… you\'re healthy and safe and living your life.

00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:39.999
[sil.]

00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:44.999
I had always been scared of
that unanswerable question,

00:53:45.000 --> 00:53:49.999
what happens after death? But for some
reason that didn\'t matter anymore.

00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:54.999
Instead, this time I thought of my mother,

00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:59.999
my family and then I think I realized

00:54:00.000 --> 00:54:04.999
that the thought of my own
death isn\'t just about me.

00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:09.999
When someone dies, what does it
mean for the people left behind?

00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:14.999
Right. Well, no one from Kendal has called.

00:54:15.000 --> 00:54:19.999
I mean, it was Frank that called. I… I managed
to get a hold of that just a little while ago

00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:24.999
and I think what I\'m doing
is changing my plans so…

00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:29.999
so I can figure out the
time to go up there.

00:54:30.000 --> 00:54:34.999
[sil.]

00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:39.999
I always get the creeps little
bit coming down this hall.

00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:44.999
You know Sam that Frank has
basically had dinner with mom

00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:49.999
every night for last three years.

00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:58.000
[sil.]

00:55:00.000 --> 00:55:04.999
She\'s breathing. This is
basically quite cold.

00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:09.999
Yeah. I\'m so glad you did.

00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:14.999
Something else. Yeah.

00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:19.999
And I haven\'t seen her open her eyes.

00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:24.999
Sam for me, it\'s a little creepy

00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:29.999
but also just from a scientific point of view,
she doesn\'t have a lot of liquid in her,

00:55:30.000 --> 00:55:34.999
and she doesn\'t drink anymore, so like things like her ear
lobes are shrinking because there\'s no water in her body.

00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:39.999
You learned in science, what percent
of your body is water? Right.

00:55:40.000 --> 00:55:44.999
Shrivels up because there\'s no liquid.
And we all come to this sometime.

00:55:45.000 --> 00:55:49.999
We\'re (inaudible). All in different ways.

00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:54.999
We asked if we could take her
out today and they said no.

00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:59.999
No, yeah. I wanted to anyway just to
give her a good breath of fresh air.

00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:04.999
(inaudible) sounded very well about
carrying her out. Yes, she has.

00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:09.999
Bunker is saying you expect every
breath to be her last. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:14.999
She\'s very, very thin.

00:56:15.000 --> 00:56:19.999
We\'re talking Frank about she looks like

00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:24.999
a Edward Monk painting, you
know, the screaming things.

00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:29.999
Boy, go on, if you haven\'t seen this, you
don\'t know what those paintings are mean…

00:56:30.000 --> 00:56:34.999
(inaudible)… And I don\'t
know how they can tell,

00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:39.999
uh… she\'s experiencing
pain, but they said that

00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:44.999
the amount of Tylenol they
give her seems to be effective

00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:49.999
and umm… keep her comfortable.

00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:54.999
You know, I\'m… I feel that most of the time

00:56:55.000 --> 00:56:59.999
she\'s been reasonably… reasonably
comfortable. Yeah. Yeah.

00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:08.000
[music]

00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:14.999
Sammy, is that you? Oh…

00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:19.999
Yeah, it\'s tough.

00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:24.999
You didn\'t know it was
(inaudible) feelings.

00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:29.999
[sil.]

00:57:30.000 --> 00:57:34.999
You wanna go outside? Let\'s go.

00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:39.999
See you grandma.

00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:48.000
[music]

00:58:15.000 --> 00:58:19.999
(inaudible) question, \"When did she really
die?\" Like she slowly declined for 10 years,

00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:24.999
so when did I get to grieve
the loss of my mother

00:58:25.000 --> 00:58:29.999
and that\'s a sort of
unsatisfying answer that it was

00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:34.999
just a 10-year slow dribble away

00:58:35.000 --> 00:58:39.999
as opposed to a death that one day
you wake up and go, \"Oh my God,

00:58:40.000 --> 00:58:44.999
she died and now I have feeling about it.\" It\'s
like she died every day a little bit for 10 years.

00:58:45.000 --> 00:58:53.000
[music]

00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:24.999
[sil.]

00:59:25.000 --> 00:59:29.999
You know… Focused and that (inaudible)
to know what\'s better. Yeah.

00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:34.999
I\'ll cut. So (inaudible) works.
Yeah, and then disappeared.

00:59:35.000 --> 00:59:39.999
I\'m gonna be back.

00:59:40.000 --> 00:59:44.999
Just hang on.

00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:50.000
[music]

00:59:55.000 --> 01:00:00.000
[music]

01:00:10.000 --> 01:00:18.000
[music]

01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:44.999
So I finally got myself an apartment
and I\'ve started my own life.

01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:49.999
I like riding my bike around the city
even though I know it\'s dangerous.

01:00:50.000 --> 01:00:54.999
And as each day goes by since my
heart stopped on the Frisbee field,

01:00:55.000 --> 01:00:59.999
I\'m less worried about whether I might drop dead any minute
than I am about, you know, how am I gonna live my life.

01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:08.000
[music]

01:01:10.000 --> 01:01:14.999
Grandma Edie, of course, is still going
strong. Her ankle is slowed it down some

01:01:15.000 --> 01:01:19.999
but she still moves faster than most of us

01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:24.999
and who knows if we\'ll be able to control her death,
but when it comes time for my parents to die,

01:01:25.000 --> 01:01:29.999
I sure hope we can talk about it.

01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:34.999
As for grandma Polly, it\'s
actually easier to remember her

01:01:35.000 --> 01:01:39.999
now that she\'s gone.

01:01:40.000 --> 01:01:44.999
[music]

01:01:45.000 --> 01:01:49.999
My parents think it\'s not really a (inaudible)
small kind of a celebration of (inaudible) life.

01:01:50.000 --> 01:01:54.999
Polly!

01:01:55.000 --> 01:01:59.999
So it\'s not sad for me. It was sad before…

01:02:00.000 --> 01:02:04.999
I think it\'s fun seeing everybody.

01:02:05.000 --> 01:02:09.999
[music]

01:02:10.000 --> 01:02:14.999
It\'s the first time I\'ve ever said,
wow, you know, mortalities exists.

01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:19.999
[music]

01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:24.999
Suddenly, it\'s like I\'m… I\'m
aware of the years left.

01:02:25.000 --> 01:02:33.000
[music]

01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:44.999
Every day from now on for you
should be a visceral gift, right.

01:02:45.000 --> 01:02:49.999
You… you know that this day doesn\'t actually
belong to me. It was given back to me kind.

01:02:50.000 --> 01:02:58.000
[music]

01:03:00.000 --> 01:03:05.000
And probably that\'s true for all of us
every day. Tomorrow is not promised.